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(Slate)   Family Research Council says women can't serve in combat because they can't pee outdoors. No, seriously, they said that   (slate.com) divider line 301
    More: Silly, Family Research Council, foreign policy  
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9332 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 3:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-28 04:44:10 PM  

bluefox3681: Joe Scarborough made an interesting point the other day. He mentioned to Mika that she is in much better shape then him. However, in a firefight, he would be able to carry her around in need be. However, even though she was in better physical shape, there is no way that she could carry Joe out of dangers, since he weighed so much more than her.


Unsurprisingly, Morning CoffeeJoe is wrong.

Link
 
2013-01-28 04:44:51 PM  

angry_scientist: This is my weapon, this is my _____?


One is for fighting and the other one dun't?

/Say it like Ricky Ricardo
 
2013-01-28 04:45:51 PM  
Women shouldn't be in combat at all. Most of the patients I had in the Navy were females complaining about duty and looking for ways to get out of it.

Almost got my head shot off by a female during small arms training as she pointed the weapon towards us while asking the instructure if the magazine was in securely.

Then there was the lesbian sex in the communal showers, no shame at all.
 
2013-01-28 04:46:10 PM  

pute kisses like a man: indarwinsshadow: women i know who run triathlons told me that the just pee themselves. it's not worth the trouble/time to stop, plus they're so hydrated, that it's going to happen.

i thought, gross... but, whatever, i guess people in sports (and i assume, war) don't really care about being all that clean.


Less gross if they do it during the swimming part, but you probably don't have to pee that early in the race.
 
2013-01-28 04:47:11 PM  

Brick-House: Technically, I don't think she's outside but that's just semantics. Now because some Mod might get all pissy and ban me, I am reluctantly going to say NSFW


Actually I'm just wondering where the hell you work.
 
2013-01-28 04:47:26 PM  

bluefox3681: Joe Scarborough made an interesting point the other day. He mentioned to Mika that she is in much better shape then him. However, in a firefight, he would be able to carry her around in need be. However, even though she was in better physical shape, there is no way that she could carry Joe out of dangers, since he weighed so much more than her.



So...you're saying there's no downside?
 
2013-01-28 04:48:06 PM  
Yes they can and I'm guessing the Internet is full of pictures of them doing just that.
 
2013-01-28 04:48:24 PM  
Pregnancy and hygiene: long term contraceptive injections. No periods, little chance of pregnancy, reversible.

And all things being equal, punish the male soldiers as well when pregnancy occurs. It takes two to get pregnant, if you treat the male the same, send him home, discipline him, the incidences would be reduced. Just saying. Also, unless a woman gets pop in her urethra, and has no access to menstrual supplies, hygiene is relative. Women in combat will stink just as men do. So what...
 
2013-01-28 04:49:17 PM  
And there's where you tip your hand, your arguments against women in combat have no substance to them but are convient "facts" cobbled together to support a forgone conclusion. How do I know? Your incusion of gays gives the game away seeing as how Gays have served, with distinction in combat since the dawn of time. The Spartans? Boy-loving sodomites to a man, it was a required part of their military training. The Theban "Sacred Ban", the first military unit to defeat the Spartans in infantry combat and the only military unit Alexander the Great ever boasted of defeating? Paired fighters who were also required to be lovers. Alexander himself? a screaming bender. I could go on, and on, and on, but you sir, whether you like it or not, are on exactly the same wrong side of history as those who swore that black lacked the mental capacity to be fighter pilots and tank-drivers and that integrating the troops was bound to lead to disaster.

I love how this is constantly trotted out to justify gays in the military. IT IS NON-GERMANE. What happened in the distant past with a society that ultimately collapsed DOES NOT apply to our current situation.

However, MY present day experience with what I've encountered on Navy ships does apply. The heterosexual horse trading that goes on, the destruction of promising military careers caused by "Zipper Failure" is rampant and ignored by the MSM because it doesn't fit their PC narrative of a smoothly operating, culturally diverse and wonderfully perfect "Modern" military.

Adding gays into the mix will make it even worse. When they were not allowed, they kept their behaviour to themselves. With them in the open, they will be pair bonding and that's when all the conflict, favoritism, jealousy all comes pouring out and crapping up the workplace. Happens with male/female heteros onboard, WILL happen with gays.

Adding sex into modern, technological combat environments is a distraction that will cost lives, and ultimately battles. This pathetic belief that "training" will prevent misbehaviour is every bit as misguided as the Soviets were when they thought lifelong indoctrination/education would produce the "New Soviet Man" who would work selflessly for the greater glory of the Motherland.

Didn't work. You can't change human nature.

Like I said, this gays/women in combat crap will be blow away as soon as we get into a real shooting war.
 
2013-01-28 04:49:38 PM  
I meant Instructor, not instructure damn
 
2013-01-28 04:49:54 PM  

Gelatinous: Thank god they don't poop.


And they don't fart until they marry, so the military should only allow single women in combat.

/stealthy
 
2013-01-28 04:50:11 PM  

pute kisses like a man: jehovahs witness protection: As long as women have to be held to the same standards as men, it shouldn't matter. Only one in 500 will be up to par though.

what exactly are these standards that are so tough?


I've been searching online for the info, but my Google Fu is weak today. I do recall reading a few years or so back (I believe it was) that the General in charge of the Iraq shenanigans at the time was saying that women were getting stronger  focus on core body strength in  their training because they needed  to  be able to lift an injured fellow  service member out of a burning tank or Bradley. I really wish I could find that article/interview because even though he didn't come right out and say it, the implication that women were already on the front lines and  that your girlfriend or wifey poo was gonna come home with six pack abs and probably able to kick your ass was incredibly amusing (and cool) to me. It was  also definitely  there.

Unless you've got scrawny little  girlie arms like me, the average female going for a combat role probably isn't in any worse shape than the average male CoD or WoW gamer dude going for the same type of role. We'd just have to work harder at it - something a lot of us are already used to doing. It's not enough  to be just as good  as a male for  a lot of things  women want  to do. We have to be better at it than many men, or it's not happening. 'Tis why some of us can be so ruthless.

/fear us. please?
 
2013-01-28 04:50:17 PM  
Poop even. Damn autocorrect.
 
2013-01-28 04:51:58 PM  
How are women able to be firefighters, and carry men out of fires while wearing over 70 pounds of equipment, if they can't carry injured men out of a combat situation?
 
2013-01-28 04:53:15 PM  

AirForceVet: MBooda: /back to the shadows again
//where an indian's always your friend
///where the vegetables are green
////and...

Am I the only one to recognize this quote from Firesign Theater's We're All Bozos On This Bus?


No.
 
2013-01-28 04:54:32 PM  

dugitman: Actually I'm just wondering where the hell you work.


Hey, thanks for the sponsorship. I will do my best to ensure that Total Fark is kept to the highest standard.
 
2013-01-28 04:54:45 PM  
There are a few issues about women being in active combat roles.

How they will pee in front of men is not one of them.
 
2013-01-28 04:55:00 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: As long as women have to be held to the same standards as men, it shouldn't matter. Only one in 500 will be up to par though.


They will never get past the "kill the spider in the bathtub" phase of the testing.
 
2013-01-28 04:55:08 PM  

namegoeshere: How are women able to be firefighters, and carry men out of fires while wearing over 70 pounds of equipment, if they can't carry injured men out of a combat situation?


They do. Link
 
2013-01-28 04:55:24 PM  

FloydA: Bathia_Mapes: *facepalm*

Women can't pee outdoors? Really? You really believe that, Family Research Council?

To a certain, rather substantial proportion of the "Christian" "conservative" community, female anatomy is mysterious and scary.


If someone introduced them to some "golden showers" videos, their heads would probably explode.
 
2013-01-28 04:58:54 PM  

Psycoholic_Slag: jehovahs witness protection: As long as women have to be held to the same standards as men, it shouldn't matter. Only one in 500 will be up to par though.

They will never get past the "kill the spider in the bathtub" phase of the testing.


I never considered myself military material, but hey, I just killed a spider in the bathtub over the weekend. What's the next phase, "not jumping onto furniture when seeing a mouse"? Or some other cliché from an early 1960s sitcom? Is Vitameatavegamin tolerance tested?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-28 04:59:32 PM  
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Women can't pee outdoors". ?!?!?!?!?!?

Every year I work the NYC Marathon and you would not believe what I witness women "doing outdoors", at speeds that make most guys wanna give them an honorary "Bro-Badge" (".....that was some damned fine peeing last relief stop....").
 
2013-01-28 04:59:52 PM  
Ever body knows the men folk drove the wagon trains out west and the wimmin folk was shipped via Fedex!!

Derp!
 
2013-01-28 04:59:57 PM  
All I know is that my ex has the personality of a Tasmanian devil, and if you shoot at her, she will get through a mine field to rip your throat out, and will pee upside down while doing it.
 
2013-01-28 05:01:22 PM  

Magorn: jehovahs witness protection: As long as women have to be held to the same standards as men, it shouldn't matter. Only one in 500 will be up to par though.

I hear a lot of guys say that, but I wonder how many of them have something even approaching a realistic idea of A) what kind of shape you have to be in for combat and b) how womefully short they themselves personally fall short of that standard despite having a Y chromosome.

  Yet strangely history proves that on several occasions in our history we've been able to turn hundreds of thousands of desk workers and clerks and factory workers into the most feared combat force on the planet.   However did we do that I wonder?

Did we simply go through the population hand-selecting all the hidden Adonai among us and giving them guns, or, as crazy as it sounds, does the human body possess some heretofore unguessed ability to grow stronger and gain more endurance through repetitive physical activity?  And is it maybe just possible that we could somehow TRAIN this strange  human super-power through a specifically designed series of physical exercises?   Sorry, I know that's crazy-talk, I just got carried away


You have obviously never served in the armed forces, much less seen combat. I have. The requirements of female members in PT tests is only a fraction required by males.
 
2013-01-28 05:02:03 PM  

someonelse: Psycoholic_Slag: jehovahs witness protection: As long as women have to be held to the same standards as men, it shouldn't matter. Only one in 500 will be up to par though.

They will never get past the "kill the spider in the bathtub" phase of the testing.

I never considered myself military material, but hey, I just killed a spider in the bathtub over the weekend. What's the next phase, "not jumping onto furniture when seeing a mouse"? Or some other cliché from an early 1960s sitcom? Is Vitameatavegamin tolerance tested?


lulz!
 
2013-01-28 05:02:35 PM  
You liberals need to realize that sexuality is a part of human nature, and is ALWAYS going to be present when men and women share the same space unless they are teenagers who have signed and abstinence pledge.
 
2013-01-28 05:04:07 PM  
Oh, and if you get captured...YOU GONNA GET RAPED.
 
2013-01-28 05:05:44 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: Oh, and if you get captured...YOU GONNA GET RAPED.


At least pregnancy won't be a problem in that case. Because you know the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.
 
2013-01-28 05:06:22 PM  
It goes without saying that no one from the Family Research Council has been downtown at night in any city anywhere. Which is good for all.
 
2013-01-28 05:06:27 PM  
vudukungfu:

YOU CAN PEE INTO THE STREAM.

And that's important.
 
2013-01-28 05:08:40 PM  

FloydA: Bathia_Mapes: *facepalm*

Women can't pee outdoors? Really? You really believe that, Family Research Council?

To a certain, rather substantial proportion of the "Christian" "conservative" community, female anatomy is mysterious and scary.


Because it's never been found on an alterboy???
 
2013-01-28 05:09:14 PM  

thurstonxhowell: One problem I see with making women sign up for the draft: Wouldn't that provide a perverse incentive to create otherwise unwanted children?

I'm a woman. There's a war. I don't want to go there. Hmm, what do?

As a guy, I'd knock up my GF if I thought it was necessary to keep her out of a warzone. I bet others would do the same.


I smell mapcap rom-com starring Emma Stone!
 
2013-01-28 05:09:22 PM  

kindms: Do women realize that if guys could basically give it all up, let them take care of making the money and stay home, most would do it in a heartbeat ?


I friggin would. Here it's all yours, have fun.
 
2013-01-28 05:09:49 PM  
mapcap = madcap, obviously
 
2013-01-28 05:10:35 PM  

larrylboberry: When are they going to stop segregate genders in the Olympics?!

If women are equal they won't mind competing fairly!


I think we can all reasonably agree that these two situations are substantially different. In one, we take the absolute pinnacle of the elite from both genders, and nobody would argue that men outperform women.

In the other, we take a large number of normal people from the general population, and make sure they can meet basic standards*. There are certainly some women who can meet the standards, even if they can't compete as olympic weightlifters in the men's division.

*A quick google says that for 22-26 year old men, a passing army fitness grade is as easy as doing 40 pushups, 50 situps, and running two miles in 16:36.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-28 05:11:29 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: Oh, and if you get captured...YOU GONNA GET RAPED.


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

BRING IT, biotch.
 
2013-01-28 05:11:31 PM  
Why should a pregnant woman be allowed out of her combat unit? It's not like there is a baby involved until after the birth.
 
2013-01-28 05:11:47 PM  
Obviously they don't know squat about women.
 
2013-01-28 05:12:04 PM  

eraser8: I'll just leave this here: GoGirl
Soooooo, it's a hollowed out strap-on?

 
2013-01-28 05:14:58 PM  

Aigoo: Dear FRC, I peed outdoors for seven years. I also dug foxholes, shared tents with men and women (and even, occasionally, officers), got shot at, sweated and shed blood, marched countless miles with about half of my body weight on my back, gave up holidays, missed important events in loved ones' lives such as my father's 50th birthday party and funerals of several relatives, and only narrowly made it to the funeral of the grandfather with whom I lived and who raised me for several years, and due to the nature of my job, once saved an entire farking battalion because I was the only one who happened to notice the precarious situation they were about to find themselves in and quickly recommended to the COL that he consider giving orders to remove them from that situation while there was still time, before they were all slaughtered.

When you, FRC, do that as a "non-combat soldier," then you can tell me whether or not I should be serving my country in an official combat role--because news flash: we've been serving in combat for years, whether you decide to acknowledge it or not. But until you do even a fraction of what we women have done for our country in a "non-combat" role, FRC, shut the fark up you sniveling douchetards.


Thank you for your service, ma'am. Or miss, if you prefer. Or Ms.

Please don't hurt me. I may be able to pee pretty much anywhere, but I could never do what you do.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-28 05:16:01 PM  

MattyBlast: Obviously they don't know squat about women.


Oooooooh, very nice. Pun with a smidgen of double entendre thrown in.

+3 for you
 
2013-01-28 05:16:43 PM  
Bathia_Mapes:
If someone introduced them to some "golden showers" videos, their heads would probably explode.

So again, there's no down-side?
 
2013-01-28 05:17:56 PM  

hutchkc: kindms: Do women realize that if guys could basically give it all up, let them take care of making the money and stay home, most would do it in a heartbeat ?

I friggin would. Here it's all yours, have fun.


Women make up 47% of the workforce. So, your quest to find enough lazy housewives to hand the reins to: Good luck with that.
 
2013-01-28 05:18:40 PM  

mark12A: I love how this is constantly trotted out to justify gays in the military. IT IS NON-GERMANE. What happened in the distant past with a society that ultimately collapsed DOES NOT apply to our current situation.

However, MY present day experience with what I've encountered on Navy ships does apply. The heterosexual horse trading that goes on, the destruction of promising military careers caused by "Zipper Failure" is rampant and ignored by the MSM because it doesn't fit their PC narrative of a smoothly operating, culturally diverse and wonderfully perfect "Modern" military.

Adding gays into the mix will make it even worse. When they were not allowed, they kept their behaviour to themselves. With them in the open, they will be pair bonding and that's when all the conflict, favoritism, jealousy all comes pouring out and crapping up the workplace. Happens with male/female heteros onboard, WILL happen with gays.

Adding sex into modern, technological combat environments is a distraction that will cost lives, and ultimately battles. This pathetic belief that "training" will prevent misbehaviour is every bit as misguided as the Soviets were when they thought lifelong indoctrination/education would produce the "New Soviet Man" who would work selflessly for the greater glory of the Motherland.

Didn't work. You can't change human nature.

Like I said, this gays/women in combat crap will be blow away as soon as we get into a real shooting war.


Were you born an idiot, or did it happen over time?
 
2013-01-28 05:19:12 PM  

Artisan Sandwich: Yeah, let's exclude potentially excellent soldiers for a stupid, made up reason that EVERYONE knows is stupid. Standardized PT tests for each role, open to one and all.


We had PT tests, but I noticed a lot of senior NCO's, and many officers, that would not be able to run a 6 hour mile, much less 6 minutes.

How does that work?
 
2013-01-28 05:19:47 PM  
Okay I out myself as having to be at the gym in 27 minutes but...

When I trained in MMA the women I trained with could kick some serious ass. Granted, up against a guy of relatively equal skill, body weight had a lot of influence. Most cases though, when they locked in a (and I know this word will be abused) choke it didn't matter how big the guy they were fighting was, he had about ten seconds to tap out or pass out. So up against other guys there is an arguable disadvantage in certain situations, but generally speaking someone trained in combat is going to beat the living shiat out of some yokel who thinks fighting involves throwing a haymaker after a few pitchers of pisswater.

Anyway, CSB and back to being a hairless troglodyte IT nerd with dish-plate eyes living out fantasies on the Internets. Or the gym. Or wherever.
 
2013-01-28 05:22:12 PM  

fredklein: Um, Family Research Council? TheOne solution is right here:

[us-f2-edit.store.yahoo.com image 216x149]


THIS 100%, and if ya don't have one, all ya gotta do is just *shake shake*.

And as for the whole distraction thing, people keep forgetting that you know, gays ARE in the military so seperating men and women is POINTLESS when it comes to attraction
 
2013-01-28 05:24:10 PM  
Ever body knows wimmmin pee attracks ky-otes and IEDs.
 
2013-01-28 05:24:12 PM  

udhq: You liberals need to realize that sexuality is a part of human nature, and is ALWAYS going to be present when men and women share the same space unless they are teenagers who have signed and abstinence pledge.


Liberals have to realize this? I thought conservatives were the ones who didn't understand that concept. They're the ones who think abstinence-only is the magical method to keep people virgins.

jehovahs witness protection: Oh, and if you get captured...YOU GONNA GET RAPED.


Male soldiers get raped too. It's not about sex, it's about humiliation and dominance.

Next stupid argument.
 
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