Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   Family Research Council says women can't serve in combat because they can't pee outdoors. No, seriously, they said that   (slate.com) divider line 301
    More: Silly, Family Research Council, foreign policy  
•       •       •

9339 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 3:44 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



301 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-28 03:55:29 PM  
I'm waiting to make up mind until Five or Six Moms chimes in
 
2013-01-28 03:55:42 PM  
Bathia_Mapes: " You really believe that, Family Research Council?"

Of course not. But they get paid to make a stink.
So they have to come up with *something*.
And the base that responds to their bullshiat *will* respond positively to two predictable forms of argument:

1.) sexist gender expectations.
e.g. women are dainty flowers that are: too physically weak, too mentally weak, too shy, too rape-provoking, etc.

2.) dog-whistling.
e.g. allowing women will necessarily be followed by lowered requirements: playing off that old "affirmative-action hire" boogeyman.
 
2013-01-28 03:55:51 PM  
There were no women prior to the invention of houses.
 
2013-01-28 03:56:31 PM  
One word: PREGNANT.

That is all. Carry on.
 
2013-01-28 03:56:46 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Have these people never been to a festival?

Wait, of course they haven't.


I used to work as a bus boy for a college bar.  From personal experience I can tell you women will piss anywhere they goddamn feel like it.  Drunk women also have a truly obnoxious habit of playing with poop.  Never once did I have to clean shiat off a stall wall in the men's room.  It was a weekly occurrence in the women's room.
 
2013-01-28 03:56:55 PM  

JohnAnnArbor: Jument: If women are eligible to serve in combat, why aren't they eligible to be drafted to serve in combat?

I believe they can sign up for Selective Service, but it's optional, not mandatory. Will that change now?


It will.  Ask any lawyer and he'll tell you there is utterly no doubt about it, but the change will not come legislatively, because that would be poltical suicide for the bill's author, but it will come from the courts.   Once women are eligible for combat, the law requiring men to register, but not women, becomes unconstitutional discrimination on the basis of sex that can no longer be justified the same way it was when previous legal challenges were brought.
 
2013-01-28 03:56:58 PM  
One problem I see with making women sign up for the draft: Wouldn't that provide a perverse incentive to create otherwise unwanted children?

I'm a woman. There's a war. I don't want to go there. Hmm, what do?

As a guy, I'd knock up my GF if I thought it was necessary to keep her out of a warzone. I bet others would do the same.
 
2013-01-28 03:57:01 PM  

treesloth: vernonFL: Wait until the Family Research council funds out that we're letting Negroes into integrated units!

Also did they hear that homosexuals can serve openly?

Indeed, even Negresses!


President Space Lincoln approves of Negresses serving

www.startrek.com

/especially charming ones.
 
2013-01-28 03:57:11 PM  
Good for women? It is a horrible idea. Hygiene issues aside what happens when someone gets pregnant on deployment?
 
2013-01-28 03:57:36 PM  

jaybeezey: That's ludacrisp! The real women that women can't be in combat is that there might spiders in those fox holes...and women do not deal well with spiders.


Yes. Men react much better to spiders. (nsfw language)
 
2013-01-28 03:57:39 PM  
The whole arguments they're making against women are so laughably sexist, it actually reminds me of this episode of the old Batman show...
Link
 
2013-01-28 03:58:06 PM  
According to Norway,  Sweden, Denmark, Finland and a whole host of other countries, not only are women perfectly suited for combat roles as we can indeed pee  outside, we can actually pee standing up. With enough practice, we can even write our names in the snow. So hand over the heavy weaponry and go hide behind yer mama's skirt, Nancy boys.

/wut?  I was raised  by Scandinavians
//we're special!
 
2013-01-28 03:58:22 PM  
I think they meant to say that women can't pee on doors.

/if a woman wants to go into combat, let her.
 
2013-01-28 03:58:42 PM  
The author sounds unfamiliar with female genitalia. I'd love to here his thoughts on regulating female reproductive health.
 
2013-01-28 03:58:53 PM  
A quick trip to Youporn would set them straight.
 
2013-01-28 03:59:28 PM  

Karac: Anyone else ever notice how every single one of these objections to women serving in combat has already been proven wrong by the decade or so that we've let them be shot at in Iraq and Afghanistan?

At least when they were objecting to gays serving openly they could point to something that was actually going to change. They may as well be arguing that we can't take the chance on letting women drive or vote.


Don't give them any ideas.
 
2013-01-28 03:59:35 PM  

Uranus Is Huge!: The author sounds unfamiliar with female genitalia. I'd love to here hear his thoughts on regulating female reproductive health.

 
2013-01-28 03:59:43 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: One word: PREGNANT.

That is all. Carry on.


That makes me wonder... I'm sure that's a problem that's been encountered at least once in the history of the US military... How do they deal with a servicewoman in a critical post that becomes pregnant, intentionally or not, and thus unable to continue in that post? Are there posts that basically come with an order, "you will not become pregnant for the duration of this post"? Can they punish someone for that? Does it create a different form of "shoot yourself in the foot" for women?
 
2013-01-28 03:59:46 PM  
Hah. The derp in this thread has swung across to the other side of the spectrum.

One of his many arguments is that women require a higher level of personal hygiene than men. And that maintaining that level of hygiene may be impossible out in the battlefield where supplies may be limited or there is prolonged fighting. (I.E., you may not have any tampons for your period). And even if it is possible for them to maintain hygiene, maintenance may need to be done in front of men out in the field, and therefore raises privacy concerns (I.E. you may be in a trench for a week and need to pee next to a man).

It's a legitimate concern, but dumbing down the opposition's argument so you can attempt to mock it without addressing its legitimate merits is easier for retards.
 
2013-01-28 03:59:47 PM  

indarwinsshadow: Ok, hopefully modmin doesn't think this is a picture of a dildo, but here goes

[thefenis.com image 420x232]

It's a Canadian invention called a "fenis". It's designed so women can pee, standing up. My wife purchased one so she didn't have to sit on the porta-potte at triathlon and Ironman events.

Their website. So the whole article, and excuse is absolute bullsh*t. Women can take a leak just like guys.


Devices like that have been around for years.  I doubt the pentagon is going to equip every female soldier with one. But really, the whole concept of squatting isn't that difficult.
 
2013-01-28 04:00:37 PM  

Jument: Gelatinous: Thank god they don't poop.

LOL


Yeah, actually they do but you hardly ever see it.

They usually just beef hard and heel it down the drain.
 
2013-01-28 04:00:55 PM  

85blue: Good for women? It is a horrible idea. Hygiene issues aside what happens when someone gets pregnant on deployment?


Probably the same thing that happens now when a man has a medical issue that requires him to take a break from combat.
 
2013-01-28 04:01:33 PM  
Women can't pee outdoors. they secrete a secretion to prevent it. They shut that whole thing down.
 
2013-01-28 04:01:38 PM  

Magorn: namegoeshere: Of course they can! Just start making these in camo.

Or make Cammo Utilikilts standard BDU for both sexes:
[farm6.staticflickr.com image 275x320]


I'll back that as long as woad becomes part of the military uniform, as well.
 
2013-01-28 04:01:55 PM  
We all have to squat for pooping so the argument is invalid.

I can MacGyver a stand to pee device out of a solo cup and some tubing in about 30 seconds, thanks Burning Man.
 
2013-01-28 04:02:12 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: President Space Lincoln approves of Negresses serving

www.startrek.com

/especially charming ones.


Heh, totally forgot about that one!
 
2013-01-28 04:02:37 PM  
Yeah, let's exclude potentially excellent soldiers for a stupid, made up reason that EVERYONE knows is stupid. Standardized PT tests for each role, open to one and all.
 
2013-01-28 04:03:05 PM  

indarwinsshadow: Ok, hopefully modmin doesn't think this is a picture of a dildo, but here goes

[thefenis.com image 420x232]

It's a Canadian invention called a "fenis". It's designed so women can pee, standing up. My wife purchased one so she didn't have to sit on the porta-potte at triathlon and Ironman events.

Their website. So the whole article, and excuse is absolute bullsh*t. Women can take a leak just like guys.


Who needs a device?
 
2013-01-28 04:03:16 PM  
Want to drive these morons ballistic?


Point out how many of their beliefs sync up perfectly with the Taliban and watch the meltdown.
 
2013-01-28 04:03:28 PM  
Um, Family Research Council? TheOne solution is right here:

us-f2-edit.store.yahoo.com
 
2013-01-28 04:03:29 PM  
This is my weapon, this is my _____?
 
2013-01-28 04:03:42 PM  
img844.imageshack.us

Good job, FRC. You farking idiots.
 
2013-01-28 04:03:46 PM  

indarwinsshadow: It's a Canadian invention called a "fenis". It's designed so women can pee, standing up. My wife purchased one so she didn't have to sit on the porta-potte at triathlon and Ironman events.


women i know who run triathlons told me that the just pee themselves. it's not worth the trouble/time to stop, plus they're so hydrated, that it's going to happen.

i thought, gross... but, whatever, i guess people in sports (and i assume, war) don't really care about being all that clean.
 
2013-01-28 04:03:47 PM  
One time I was bicycling home from work, under I-95, through the Philly sports complex. I saw one women, behind one of the I-95 support coluums, pants down, butt hanging out, squatting and peeing like a horse there on the tarmac.

Sorry Farkies, but women trying to pee in combat surroundings is a hell of a lot more complicated than guys whipping it out and squirting.

Women and gays in combat is monumentally stupid, but the PC brigade will get its way for now, and it will be goofy, scandalous, constantly newsworthy, will wreck countless military careers, and go on until we get into a real war, at which point women/gays in combat units will go away overnight as we get serious at fighting for national survival in what ever serious conflict we get into in the future.....
 
2013-01-28 04:03:55 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: One word: PREGNANT.

That is all. Carry on.


One word: PROSTATE CANCER / KICKED IN THE NUTS.

That is all. Carry on.
 
2013-01-28 04:04:58 PM  

nickerj1: you may be in a trench for a week and need to pee next to a man


You're right, you should definitely get to decide for them whether or not that's a problem. Why let women decide if that's something they're comfortable with when men can just tell them how it is?
 
2013-01-28 04:05:08 PM  

nickerj1: One of his many arguments is that women require a higher level of personal hygiene than men. And that maintaining that level of hygiene may be impossible out in the battlefield where supplies may be limited or there is prolonged fighting. (I.E., you may not have any tampons for your period).


Got it covered.
 
2013-01-28 04:05:29 PM  
Isn't this the same group that said gays couldn't serve in the military at one point because they eat poop?
 
2013-01-28 04:05:35 PM  
I love this guy. First he argues that field conditions are such that soldiers sometimes go for weeks without bathing, then claims that having women on the field may distract male soldiers with their sexiness.
 
2013-01-28 04:06:02 PM  
As a general rule of thumb, whenever the Family Research Council says ANYTHING the exact opposite of what they are saying is probably both the wisest and most civilized course of action.
 
2013-01-28 04:06:08 PM  
Well, I'm convinced.
 
2013-01-28 04:06:21 PM  

DeathCipris: JohnAnnArbor: I once saw a product that was a little disposable paper triangle/cone that was intended to allow ladies to use urinals.

The she-wee! It was on Top Gear!

Srsly


namegoeshere: Of course they can! Just start making these in camo.


No. The best is the Freshette (aka the portable penis). Link You can actually aim it and write your name in the snow.
 
2013-01-28 04:07:10 PM  
Joe Scarborough made an interesting point the other day. He mentioned to Mika that she is in much better shape then him. However, in a firefight, he would be able to carry her around in need be. However, even though she was in better physical shape, there is no way that she could carry Joe out of dangers, since he weighed so much more than her.

That is what this debate should be about. If women are going to (and it sounds like they already are) on the front lines, then they need to have the same PT standards that the men have. Creating a lower standard of physical requirements for women to serve reeks of political correctness and will make for a weaker military.
 
2013-01-28 04:08:03 PM  
In my experience, not only can women urinate outdoors, it's their prime defense mechanism! Win win for the military as far as I can tell.
 
2013-01-28 04:08:18 PM  
Ever notice that the biggest hand-wringing ninnies that spout off about women in combat are men?
 
2013-01-28 04:08:19 PM  
I heard the Garden of Eden had a beautiful Ladies Room
 
2013-01-28 04:08:21 PM  

mark12A: One time I was bicycling home from work, under I-95, through the Philly sports complex. I saw one women, behind one of the I-95 support coluums, pants down, butt hanging out, squatting and peeing like a horse there on the tarmac.

Sorry Farkies, but women trying to pee in combat surroundings is a hell of a lot more complicated than guys whipping it out and squirting.


So, just to sum up: You once saw a woman peeing in public without needing a toilet, and you submit this experience as proof that women are incapable of peeing without a toilet. Did I get that right?
 
2013-01-28 04:08:28 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Jument: If women are eligible to serve in combat, why aren't they eligible to be drafted to serve in combat?

Fair question.

If they're gonna be in combat, make them sign up for Selective Service at age 18, just like males do.

/Equality, Baby! It ain't only about getting the good stuff!


IIRC, Israel already has mandatory military service for both men and women and last I  heard, Sweden was considering it for women  as well.
 
2013-01-28 04:08:31 PM  

85blue: Good for women? It is a horrible idea. Hygiene issues aside what happens when someone gets pregnant on deployment?


The same way it's handled now. Lot of women were deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan.

If they can exceed the physical and mental bars set in training and by regulation, let them go. Yes, it's "rare" to find women with the physical capabilities for forward combat. For those that can perform, they should be allowed to go. Banning an entire demographic because they are statistically less likely to make the mark is beyond ignorance.

They want to fight for their country, let them fight for their country. Just like we let non-whites, homosexuals, and everyone else who wants to fight. This is just another silly barrier put up by those on the wrong side of history.
 
2013-01-28 04:08:52 PM  
I'll just leave this here: GoGirl
 
Displayed 50 of 301 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report