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(Santa Rosa Press Democrat)   Guy Fieri's new wine is quizzical, yet decisive, with a piquant nose redolent of Rohypnol, in-mouth notes of Axe Body Spray, and an exuberant finish of Zubaz stained with tanning oil and sack sweat   (pressdemocrat.com) divider line 142
    More: Sick, Guy Fieri, Sonoma County, drive in, tasting room, noses  
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12441 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 4:52 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-28 07:13:17 PM
Factoid regarding Jacques Pepin...
He began his career here in the States as Culinary Director for Howard Johnson's motel's and held the position for a number of years.
 
2013-01-28 07:25:31 PM
Quite the reverse is true of Château Fieri, which is an appellation contrôlée, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation; a fine wine which really opens up the sluices at both ends.
 
2013-01-28 07:28:02 PM

bionicjoe:
I'm not eating at a Korean BBQ on principle.


I'm not sure I get this principle.
 
2013-01-28 07:28:53 PM

This text is now purple: Infobahn: WMCB: Problem is that it'll just clog up the already full over-priced California hyped wine market even further. I'll keep my box wine, thanks.

Boxed wine? Why so fancy? Now that there is wine in foil pouches hanging from hooks at my Safeway.

Considering that the sealed bags may well be the optimal wine storage media...


Not to mention it allows you to play Franzia-ball:

Remove bag from box. Stand in circle, throw it at someone. If they drop it, they drink. Continue until you throw up wine.
 
2013-01-28 07:29:05 PM

dallylamma: His name is Guy Ferry.

[bestthingslicedbread.files.wordpress.com image 550x346]


Came to say this... He's a douche in the sense of his style and his on-air personality, but as someone stated before he does do a decent amount of charity work so it's mostly just a superficial hate with me.
 
2013-01-28 07:30:46 PM

Rapmaster2000: bionicjoe:
I'm not eating at a Korean BBQ on principle.

I'm not sure I get this principle.


Maybe something to do with the Best Korea thread from this morning...
 
2013-01-28 07:42:42 PM
He's a really high functioning retard. Did you guys not know that? Must be proud of yourselves. Ever wonder why he looks like a six year old dressed by his mommy? Because his mother dresses him. He's an inspiration to me, overcome so much just to be denigrated by a bunch of neck beards who love olive garden
 
2013-01-28 07:57:50 PM

Ready-set: Cythraul: sno man: Cythraul: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'll be glad when that porcupine's 15 minutes is up

I'm sure Food Network will just find another way to re-package him for the masses.

Or they'll just get a new more vapid personality with even less actual food skills.  Guy makes me miss Bobby Flay and that makes me angry because I really disliked Bobby Flay.

I completely tuned out after Good Eats was cancelled. But it's been clear for a long time that Food Network has been transforming itself into the MTV of food.

Pretty sure Alton was tired and quit. He's talked about starting again.

I watch 'triple d' (kill me now) in SPITE of Ferry (he changed his name) just to see awesome people cook great food.


It was Alton's decision. He felt like he had covered everything pretty well. I'm sure that if he comes up with a concept for a new show that interests him Food Network would write him a blank check.
 
2013-01-28 08:13:26 PM
Subby. Fabulous headline. It's piquant, yet nuanced.
 
2013-01-28 08:17:38 PM

Triumph: Smores Pizza Sauvingnon Blanc.


I opened my newspaper on Sunday morning and had my eyeballs assaulted by the sight of his pubic-hair bedecked face on the cover of USA Today Magazine. Even worse, he's still trying to foist that unholy fusion of s'mores and pizza on the public; one of the recipes in the paper was for the godforsaken abomination.
 
2013-01-28 08:20:49 PM

Infobahn: How many of you Guy haters have actually eaten his food? That's what I thought.


Yes, because we're missing out by not eating "Slamma-Jamma Ultra Funky-Fresh Double-Fried Taters with Donkey Sauce".

You don't have to eat shiat to realize that it tastes horrible.
 
2013-01-28 08:22:11 PM

Infobahn: How many of you Guy haters have actually eaten his food? That's what I thought.


I have. And I wished I had walked one block to Five Guys for a way better meal for half the price.

I have no problems paying premium prices for premium food, but his stuff rates at about Applebees level.
 
2013-01-28 08:25:19 PM

Ready-set: Cythraul: sno man: Cythraul: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'll be glad when that porcupine's 15 minutes is up

I'm sure Food Network will just find another way to re-package him for the masses.

Or they'll just get a new more vapid personality with even less actual food skills.  Guy makes me miss Bobby Flay and that makes me angry because I really disliked Bobby Flay.

I completely tuned out after Good Eats was cancelled. But it's been clear for a long time that Food Network has been transforming itself into the MTV of food.

Pretty sure Alton was tired and quit. He's talked about starting again.

I watch 'triple d' (kill me now) in SPITE of Ferry (he changed his name) just to see awesome people cook great food.


pretty much THIS

the show hilights places I can actually afford to go to on a regular basis that have no pretense. guy has his moments, but he's mostly benign
 
2013-01-28 08:39:10 PM

Endive Wombat: I would do horrible, nasty, nasty things with and to this woman


Make sure you use food when you do and make damned sure you take photos
 
2013-01-28 08:40:39 PM

vernonFL: I normally don't buy "celebrity" wines, but the AC/DC wine isn't bad.


[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 199x253]


"TOOL" has a vineyard out in Sedona, AZ. From what I hear it's quite respectable. Keyshawn Johnson, Mike Ditka, and Leo Messi all have wines.
So we have a few rock & roll wines, some rock & roll tequila, JayZ has vodak... which leaves beer. Interesting that with the craft beer boom there are no celebrities trying to get in on that. I'm not talking about how Pearl Jam and the Grateful Dead both partnered with Dogfish Head to produce a one-off brew; I'm wondering why there are no celebrities starting their own breweries. That's what I'd do.
 
2013-01-28 08:54:54 PM

WinoRhino: vernonFL: I normally don't buy "celebrity" wines, but the AC/DC wine isn't bad.


[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 199x253]

"TOOL" has a vineyard out in Sedona, AZ. From what I hear it's quite respectable. Keyshawn Johnson, Mike Ditka, and Leo Messi all have wines.
So we have a few rock & roll wines, some rock & roll tequila, JayZ has vodak... which leaves beer. Interesting that with the craft beer boom there are no celebrities trying to get in on that. I'm not talking about how Pearl Jam and the Grateful Dead both partnered with Dogfish Head to produce a one-off brew; I'm wondering why there are no celebrities starting their own breweries. That's what I'd do.


Les Claypool also makes wine. From what I hear it's supposed to be pretty damn good. I imagine it pairs well with fish.
 
2013-01-28 09:13:10 PM

js34603: My conclusion is that Farkers hate Fieri


Guy is a clown, a buffoon, a jester. I don't say that in a bad way. I'm pretty sure he knows that his over the top valley/cali dude stage persona is what gets him his gigs. So if he wants to play the part of a clown, I'll treat him like a clown.

As far as DDD goes, I think we all know he is not there to critique food. He is there to pump up local establishments. There are times when he clearly does not like the food offered, but he plays along and talks up the small shops. He plays the court jester, making the owner of the featured place look good. I don't mind this show as it gives me an idea of what may be neat and local to try when I travel to some of those locations. Better to try than than to hit up a sorry hotel room service menu or Applebee's.

I don't live near any his restaurants. The closest I will like come to one is when I visit New York City. Since I will be in NYC, I'll be damned if I'm eating at some overpriced tourist trap in Times Square. Just blocks from there are tons of highly rated, reasonably priced, and not jammed packed local establishments. That's where I'll be planning to eat.

Personally I only see a few people that really hate on him. Others are just laughing at some dude that is actively out there to have fun.
 
2013-01-28 09:15:26 PM
FTA: He has initiated organic farming methods on the vineyard and is working with a vineyard management company to handle the vines, which were planted about 10 years ago.

He doesn't "make" wine. He owns a place run by folks that make wine. He'll slap his name on it, of course, and take advantage of the various tax breaks, but he "makes" wine like he "makes" the shiatty foodstuffs he tries to peddle.

He's the Kim Kardashian of cooking - he has no training as a chef, won a cooking game show, and rode his pissy little star to petty fame by exploiting his exposure as much as possible, even as he peddles shiat. Folks like Guy Fiere and Rachael Ray are why the whole "celebrity chef" bit jumped the shark half a decade ago - Food Network managed to prove they could manufacture "celebrity chefs" from just about anybody, screwing folks who can actually cook.

Fark Guy Fieri. I hope he falls into a vat and drowns in his own goddamned lees.
 
2013-01-28 09:15:52 PM
So his name is actually Guy Ferry, and he "wasabi'd it up" (as he would say). *sigh*
 
2013-01-28 09:24:04 PM
Does it come in a box?
kk.org
 
2013-01-28 09:25:47 PM
Guy Fieri is banned from our TV, lol! My husband (and I) hate him with a passion! Hell, DDD would be a better show if they got someone ELSE to host it!
 
2013-01-28 09:27:22 PM

Ernie the Fork: I think Fark needs to give this guy more free PR. Him and Paris, and Kim K, and Honey Douche Douche.


Wow... you just used that to describe a six-year-old girl.
 
2013-01-28 09:30:22 PM
It's like Poochie was never called back to his planet and started going to restaurants.
 
2013-01-28 09:41:26 PM
I farking hate Internet haters...
 
2013-01-28 10:02:26 PM

MrEricSir: No thanks, I'll stick with my Kyle MacLachlan wine.

...and some damn fine coffee.


Good choice. And that cherry pie will kill you!
 
2013-01-28 10:35:08 PM

theorellior: It's like Poochie was never called back to his planet and started going to restaurants.


I believe we can now stop having guy ferry threads, as you have hilariously summed him up. Bravo sir.
 
2013-01-28 10:54:45 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'll be glad when that porcupine's 15 minutes is up


Yeah, I know what you mean.

I've been watching 'DDD' and when he's in the kitchen, he's ok but his personality, such as it, just blows.

And I NEVER thought I would say this but I caught Bourdain on the cooking show that 'stars' Debi Mazar (sp) - (she was in 'Goodfellas' and 'Independence Day(yuck)') and ol' Tony seems to believe his press notices are true.

He came across as borderline pompous and was asking REALLY stupid questions to start the conversation.

Sad.
 
2013-01-28 10:56:15 PM

sno man: Or they'll just get a new more vapid personality with even less actual food skills.  Guy makes me miss Bobby Flay and that makes me angry because I really disliked Bobby Flay.


Mario Batali(sp?) for the loss.
 
2013-01-28 11:03:53 PM

js34603: Ed Finnerty: js34603: Oh good it's been almost a week since we had a Guy Fieri hate thread.

Thank god and/or Fark moderators for an outlet for all out impotent hate.

Bad news. Guy is going to sleep with you.

Good good, let the butthurt flow through you.

My conclusion is that Farkers hate Fieri because he gets paid to stuff his fat face with disgusting food. Farkers do that for free in their basements and this guy gets to travel around the country to do it. That makes us ball up our fists in futile anger and rage about his lack of culinary knowledge.

Because I doubt anyone is dumb enough to hate him because of his shtick with the bleached hair and sunglasses. That would just be farking dumb since every person in this thread would bleach their hair and start saying "flavor town" every other sentence if they were offered 1/10 the amount of money he makes.

So it must be that other thing that causes all the butthurt. Jealousy.


Wow!

Do you want to trade S/Ns cuz if ever there was a candidate to be DB/H, Jr. you're it.
 
2013-01-28 11:17:29 PM

Rumpertumpskin: Factoid regarding Jacques Pepin...
He began his career here in the States as Culinary Director for Howard Johnson's motel's and held the position for a number of years.


[not sure if serious.jpg]

I dunno about THAT but I have articles going back 30 years on him coming to town and making a dinner for 4 for under $20/30. With wine.

That s.o.b. can cook like an s.o.b.!

He was cooking in France from the time he was about 15, give or take.
 
2013-01-28 11:21:14 PM

theorellior: It's like Poochie was never called back to his planet and started going to restaurants.


You, sir, are a gentle man and scholar.

Funniest thing I've read here in a month.
 
2013-01-28 11:41:55 PM
Howard Johnson's, Adieu

By JACQUES PÉPIN

Published: April 28, 2005

WHEN word spread that the last Howard Johnson's restaurant in New York City, in Times Square, would probably close, there was something of an uproar. Though plans are uncertain, brokers say it is likely that a big retail chain will replace it. The idea that this icon of American dining will disappear from the city landscape made me particularly sad, since it was at Howard Johnson's that I completed my most valuable apprenticeship.

I had been in America only eight months when I started working at Howard Johnson's. I moved there from Le Pavillon, a temple of French haute cuisine, where I had been working since my arrival in the United States in 1959. Howard Johnson, who often ate at Le Pavillon, hired me and my fellow chef, Pierre Franey.

It was Mr. Johnson's contention that I should learn about the Howard Johnson Company from the ground up. I worked a few months as a line cook at one of the largest and busiest Howard Johnson's restaurants at the time, on Queens Boulevard in Rego Park. I flipped burgers, cooked hot dogs and learned about the specialties of the house, among them tender fried clams made from the tongues of enormous sea clams whose bodies were used as the base for the restaurants' famous clam chowder. Other specialties I became familiar with included macaroni and cheese, hash browns, ice cream sundaes, banana splits, and, certainly, apple pies.

Howard Johnson's was my American apprenticeship, and it was a long one, nearly 10 years, mostly spent in the company's Queens Village commissary. Mr. Johnson gave me and Pierre carte blanche, and we experimented with different types of stews, like beef burgundy, and dishes like scallops in mushroom sauce. I became comfortable using 1,000-gallon pots and operating enormous machines. Mr. Johnson would often visit us at the test kitchen to taste, ask questions and make suggestions. He might tell us that the last time the sauce was thinner or ask why we were using frozen button mushrooms in the beef stew or why we had changed the size of the clam croquettes.

After working on a standard Howard Johnson's recipe in the test kitchen, Pierre and I would prepare it in progressively larger quantities, improving its taste by cutting down on margarine and replacing it with butter, using fresh onion instead of dehydrated onion, real potatoes instead of frozen ones. We made fresh stock in a quantity requiring 3,000 pounds of veal bones for each batch, and we daily boned 1,000 turkeys and made 10 tons of frankfurters.

Albert Kumin, the famous Swiss pastry chef, soon joined us, working to set up a pastry department that produced 10 tons of Danish pastries a day for the hundreds of restaurants in the chain and thousands and thousands of apple, cherry, blueberry and pumpkin pies each day. This was my first exposure to mass production. I developed products for the Red Coach Grill, which was the Cadillac of the Howard Johnson chain, as well as the Ground Round, and the grocery division of the company, which supplied supermarkets, schools and other institutions.

Pierre and I would occasionally visit the restaurants on the New Jersey Turnpike or the New England Thruway to see how our commissary inventions were faring with the customers. But I loved the restaurant in Times Square especially, and often went there, incognito with my friend Jean-Claude. We enjoyed fried clams, and with them we always drank what was the best Manhattan cocktail in town - it came with a full pitcher for refills alongside the initial filled glass.

Unfortunately, the orange roof with the Simple Simon logo has all but disappeared. Few of the restaurants left - among them the one in Times Square - are still called Howard Johnson's (the apostrophe indicates one of the early restaurants). For me, Howard Johnson's reliable, modestly priced food embodies the straightforwardness of the American spirit. It saddens me that New Yorkers looking for this kind of gentleness and simplicity will soon have to find it elsewhere. It won't be easy.

Jacques Pépin is the author, most recently, of "Fast Food My Way."
 
2013-01-28 11:56:31 PM
I'm sensing a new show: America's Next Food Network Sommelier.

What is it like working at a network that is a running punch line?
 
2013-01-29 05:56:30 AM
This story is right on point.
 
2013-01-29 06:22:29 AM

Well I use Mac/Linux...: He's bad, but he's still better than Bourdain.


So you never saw Bourdain in Lebanon or Namibia or Sardinia? Maybe you don't like the guy, but he has made some good television. I saw him in a live broadcast and I thought he was unprepared and jittery, but he is capable of good things.

I think that Bourdain-haters merely love to hate.
 
2013-01-29 08:19:26 AM

Endive Wombat: Cythraul: sno man: Cythraul: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'll be glad when that porcupine's 15 minutes is up

I'm sure Food Network will just find another way to re-package him for the masses.

Or they'll just get a new more vapid personality with even less actual food skills.  Guy makes me miss Bobby Flay and that makes me angry because I really disliked Bobby Flay.

I completely tuned out after Good Eats was cancelled. But it's been clear for a long time that Food Network has been transforming itself into the MTV of food.


Same here, and I totally agree.  Don't get me wrong, I would do horrible, nasty, nasty things with and to this woman:
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 576x720]
But I have zero desire to watch her show or the newest crop of shows like hers.  If I were pressed, I would say that her show and others are too "cute" and focus on the ADD, zero ability to focus viewers who want quick, uninspired dishes.

"This meal is exotic you say?  How so"
"Oh I used coconut milk instead of regular cow milk"
"..."


I am not familiar with this person. I stopped watching Food Network a long time ago, so I'm guessing she's somebody new? Possibly one of those 'Who Wants To Be the Next Food Network Star 12' winners?

She's hot, though, I agree with that. Nice cherry pattern on her dress - definitely not suggestive at all.
 
2013-01-29 09:01:24 AM

sno man: Cythraul: MaudlinMutantMollusk: I'll be glad when that porcupine's 15 minutes is up

I'm sure Food Network will just find another way to re-package him for the masses.

Or they'll just get a new more vapid personality with even less actual food skills.  Guy makes me miss Bobby Flay and that makes me angry because I really disliked Bobby Flay.


images4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-01-29 09:03:29 AM

Well I use Mac/Linux...: He's bad, but he's still better than Bourdain.


Yeah... you're wrong.
 
2013-01-29 09:08:47 AM

jj325: Does this replace his old whine about the terrible reviews his restaurant got?


www.gamesprays.com
 
2013-01-29 09:53:19 AM

BigNumber12: Ernie the Fork: I think Fark needs to give this guy more free PR. Him and Paris, and Kim K, and Honey Douche Douche.

Wow... you just used that to describe a six-year-old girl.


You're right...that was wrong of me. It's not the kid's fault. It's her giant thumb-head of a mother that I despise.
 
2013-01-29 11:34:03 AM

Ernie the Fork: BigNumber12: Ernie the Fork: I think Fark needs to give this guy more free PR. Him and Paris, and Kim K, and Honey Douche Douche.

Wow... you just used that to describe a six-year-old girl.

You're right...that was wrong of me. It's not the kid's fault. It's her giant thumb-head of a mother that I despise.


*cautiously removes flame suit*
 
2013-01-29 05:39:10 PM

Rumpertumpskin: Howard Johnson's, Adieu

By JACQUES PÉPIN

Published: April 28, 2005

WHEN word spread that the last Howard Johnson's restaurant in New York City, in Times Square, would probably close, there was something of an uproar. Though plans are uncertain, brokers say it is likely that a big retail chain will replace it. The idea that this icon of American dining will disappear from the city landscape made me particularly sad, since it was at Howard Johnson's that I completed my most valuable apprenticeship.

I had been in America only eight months when I started working at Howard Johnson's. I moved there from Le Pavillon, a temple of French haute cuisine, where I had been working since my arrival in the United States in 1959. Howard Johnson, who often ate at Le Pavillon, hired me and my fellow chef, Pierre Franey.

It was Mr. Johnson's contention that I should learn about the Howard Johnson Company from the ground up. I worked a few months as a line cook at one of the largest and busiest Howard Johnson's restaurants at the time, on Queens Boulevard in Rego Park. I flipped burgers, cooked hot dogs and learned about the specialties of the house, among them tender fried clams made from the tongues of enormous sea clams whose bodies were used as the base for the restaurants' famous clam chowder. Other specialties I became familiar with included macaroni and cheese, hash browns, ice cream sundaes, banana splits, and, certainly, apple pies.

Howard Johnson's was my American apprenticeship, and it was a long one, nearly 10 years, mostly spent in the company's Queens Village commissary. Mr. Johnson gave me and Pierre carte blanche, and we experimented with different types of stews, like beef burgundy, and dishes like scallops in mushroom sauce. I became comfortable using 1,000-gallon pots and operating enormous machines. Mr. Johnson would often visit us at the test kitchen to taste, ask questions and make suggestions. He might tell us that the last time the sauce was thinner or ask ...


Thanks for posting that. I'd never seen that before.

I remember Tom Snyder would wax poetic about Howard Johnsons famous this or HJ's famous that. And now I understand why. I think I'll fire up a colortini made with real potatoes and watch the ballontines, now, as they fly through the air
 
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