If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mirror.co.uk)   Woman tries "death by hoo-ha" on her husband by putting poison in her privates in bid to kill him   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 119
    More: Weird, putting poison, oral sex, genitals, assassinations, toxic substances  
•       •       •

19195 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 2:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



119 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-28 01:33:53 PM
Somehow, I don't think this couple looks anything like the couple in the photo linked to tfa.

Also, why would she have willingly gone to the hospital with him? Instead of, I dunno, washing herself first?
 
2013-01-28 01:47:53 PM
Are you insane in the mucus membrane?  That shiate's gonna kill YOU, girl!
 
2013-01-28 01:52:28 PM
The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed.
Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell.

Lulz.
 
2013-01-28 01:58:52 PM
EXTRA! EXTRA! TAINTED TWAT PLOT PREVENTED!

♫  Tainted love... O-o-o-o... ♫
 
2013-01-28 02:07:39 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: EXTRA! EXTRA! TAINTED TWAT PLOT PREVENTED!

♫  Tainted love... O-o-o-o... ♫


He's got to get away.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-28 02:15:13 PM
Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell.

Honey... you smell strange tonight. Like lemon and almonds instead of yeast and feces.
 
2013-01-28 02:20:50 PM
Why put poison down there?  Should could have just worn neoprene underwear and not bathed for a few days.
 
2013-01-28 02:35:20 PM
Surprised no Florida tag.
 
2013-01-28 02:35:44 PM
Hoo ha?
cdn.uproxx.com
 
2013-01-28 02:35:46 PM
She didn't think her coonting plan all the way through.
 
2013-01-28 02:35:47 PM
This thread ruined my lunch
 
2013-01-28 02:37:03 PM
Just don't wash it for a few days and see if the stink does him in.

assets.diylol.com
 
2013-01-28 02:37:14 PM
t0.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-28 02:37:23 PM
 
2013-01-28 02:39:54 PM
So, notsocunninglingus?
 
2013-01-28 02:41:09 PM
What a cunning stunt.
 
2013-01-28 02:42:18 PM
Look, she read somewhere that certain herbal lotions can enhance pleasure. It was just an unfortunate oversight missing the "for external use only" warning. Totally innocent
 
2013-01-28 02:43:03 PM
I wonder what kind of poison you can apply to your genitals that will not be absorbed yet still be absorbed into the bloodstream of a person performing oral sex on said poisoned genitals. Yeah none.
 
2013-01-28 02:43:18 PM
lh6.ggpht.com
 
2013-01-28 02:43:31 PM
The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised
 
2013-01-28 02:43:59 PM
LonMead

Came for snu-snu.  Leaving happy.


/Same thing I said when I left that Thai brothel....
 
2013-01-28 02:44:04 PM
i don't know if poisons are all that great of an idea in the S&M world. if they are, I just want to say that any utterance i make ever in my life (including silence) is my safe word for no poison.
 
2013-01-28 02:44:07 PM

Lucky LaRue: The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed.
Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell.

Lulz.


Unlike the one planted there that lures you to marriage.
 
2013-01-28 02:44:11 PM

brap: Are you insane in the mucus membrane?  That shiate's gonna kill YOU, girl!


Really. and what was the "poisonous substance?" This story is dildos/.
 
2013-01-28 02:44:52 PM
"death by hoo-ha"

Aw c'mon, "Death By Snu-Snu" would have worked here, crushed pelvis or no.
 
2013-01-28 02:46:04 PM
Sure, that makes sense. Place poison inside an orifice with thin walls and a semi-permeable mucous membrane allowing for quick access to your bloodstream.

Next time, just poison his cornflakes.
 
2013-01-28 02:46:57 PM
She did not think that through. It would kill her long before it killed the husband. I doubt she was smart enough to also put a sealer like Petroleum jelly on the inside first.
 
2013-01-28 02:47:27 PM

miss diminutive: Sure, that makes sense. Place poison inside an orifice with thin walls and a semi-permeable mucous membrane allowing for quick access to your bloodstream. Next time, just poison his cornflakes.


you and your logic.
 
2013-01-28 02:48:02 PM
Just tie me up and smother me with it. A woman could easily get off... and not be charged either.
 
2013-01-28 02:48:12 PM

TheDeathMerchant: "death by hoo-ha"

Aw c'mon, "Death By Snu-Snu" would have worked here, crushed pelvis or no.


That headline was used the other day though.
 
2013-01-28 02:48:25 PM
Sweetheart. I don't want to put a damper on our evening plans, but your cooter smells like strychnine. What's up with that?
 
2013-01-28 02:50:02 PM

cryinoutloud: brap: Are you insane in the mucus membrane?  That shiate's gonna kill YOU, girl!

Really. and what was the "poisonous substance?" This story is dildos/.


Yeah, the whole thing smells a bit fishy.

/Stolen from comments
 
2013-01-28 02:50:59 PM

berylman: I wonder what kind of poison you can apply to your genitals that will not be absorbed yet still be absorbed into the bloodstream of a person performing oral sex on said poisoned genitals. Yeah none.


Both are mucus membranes. Wondering about that myself.

Then again, maybe she's that crazy.
 
2013-01-28 02:51:40 PM
surbrook.devermore.net
knows his pain
 
2013-01-28 02:51:52 PM
He sensed there was something fishy going on.
 
2013-01-28 02:53:18 PM
"Saved by the Smell" with Elizabeth Berkley in the starring role
 
2013-01-28 02:54:08 PM
The coldest Winter ever.
 
2013-01-28 02:54:37 PM
I know this will astonish some here, but the unwashed penis does not smell or taste so great either. You probably don't have anything particular to brag about in the smelly naughty bits department.

(Fresh from shower)
 
2013-01-28 02:54:43 PM
The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below.

I scrolled down the article for elaboration on the poisonous substance, saw what they did there.
 
2013-01-28 02:55:16 PM

SkunkWerks: berylman: I wonder what kind of poison you can apply to your genitals that will not be absorbed yet still be absorbed into the bloodstream of a person performing oral sex on said poisoned genitals. Yeah none.

Both are mucus membranes. Wondering about that myself.

Then again, maybe she's that crazy.


t3.gstatic.com "Somehow, I don't think you thought your cunning plan all the way through."
 
2013-01-28 02:55:35 PM
that gives a whole new spin on the wash the cootchie song.
 
2013-01-28 02:56:12 PM
I'm calling FAKE. The same poison would have worked just put into a beer, right? So why the supposed cootchtacular shenanigans?
 
2013-01-28 02:57:41 PM
This article reads like a forwarded e-mail.

No names, dates, places or quotes? Check.

Gaping logic hole? Check. (The part where the wife, having failed in her murder plot, agrees to go to the doctor after the husband tells her something ain't right with the cooter.)

All it's missing is "my brother in law works with this person's cousin and I swear it's all true!"
 
2013-01-28 02:58:45 PM
Subby, I'm disappointed that you didn't work in a "tainted taint" joke there.
 
2013-01-28 03:00:08 PM
Has "hooha" always been euphemism for vagina? It sounds creepy and reminds me of Pacino
 
2013-01-28 03:00:54 PM

LadySusan: I know this will astonish some here, but the unwashed penis does not smell or taste so great either. You probably don't have anything particular to brag about in the smelly naughty bits department.

(Fresh from shower)


Please. If I've have learned anything from movies and advertising, it's that there is nothing more attractive than a man with a sweaty dong.
 
2013-01-28 03:00:57 PM
"If you can smell it before you can see it, YOU DON'T WANT IT."
 
2013-01-28 03:02:28 PM

moothemagiccow: Has "hooha" always been euphemism for vagina? It sounds creepy and reminds me of Pacino


Yes, and the penis is known as the 'hey-now.'
 
2013-01-28 03:02:40 PM

moothemagiccow: Has "hooha" always been euphemism for vagina? It sounds creepy and reminds me of Pacino


It's been eclipsed by more modern euphemisms like "ham wallet" and "whisker biscuit."
 
2013-01-28 03:03:15 PM

thatboyoverthere: She did not think that through. It would kill her long before it killed the husband. I doubt she was smart enough to also put a sealer like Petroleum jelly on the inside first.


You sound like you've thought about doing this.
 
Displayed 50 of 119 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report