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(Foobies)   Meet 'house of doom', the Berlin building that keeps killing its inhabitants, probably   (thelocal.de ) divider line
    More: Scary, FDP, autobahn, Dutchman, Bonn, skilled workers, Bayern Munich  
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18650 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 12:24 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



82 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2013-01-28 10:41:57 AM  
GET OFF MY LAWN, ASSHOLES!

www.samruby.com
 
2013-01-28 10:46:58 AM  
Challenge accepted.
 
2013-01-28 11:37:41 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-28 11:39:42 AM  
Only nine in 15 years. German death houses used to kill much more efficiently.
 
2013-01-28 12:09:59 PM  
*rtfa*

Were they all ballet dancers?
 
2013-01-28 12:12:15 PM  

ZAZ: Only nine in 15 years. German death houses used to kill much more efficiently.



Good thing I don't believe in Hell, because I'd be going to it.
 
2013-01-28 12:20:44 PM  
FTA: Summer 2012 and Berlin police were called to the building's maisonette apartment, where they found the bodies of 69-year-old Kristian B., his wife Kathrin, 28, and their two sons aged six and three.

The debt-riddled asset consultant had suffocated them all before killing himself with a plastic bag. He had previously given up his infant daughter into a baby hatch.


 I hate stories like this where the husband goes off, kills his wife and kids, then commits suicide. Just kill yourself if you must but don't take anyone else with you.

I love stories where older men have hot young wives and started a new family. Gives me hope I'll get lucky, though unlikely in Huntsville, Alabama.
 
2013-01-28 12:28:21 PM  
Jorg?! Dead? Nooooo....!
Link
 
2013-01-28 12:28:53 PM  

Nickster79: GET OFF MY LAWN, ASSHOLES!

[www.samruby.com image 303x448]


Bravo! I'm still laughing
 
2013-01-28 12:29:40 PM  
It takes my breath away.
 
GBB
2013-01-28 12:30:55 PM  

AirForceVet: FTA: Summer 2012 and Berlin police were called to the building's maisonette apartment, where they found the bodies of 69-year-old Kristian B., his wife Kathrin, 28, and their two sons aged six and three.

The debt-riddled asset consultant had suffocated them all before killing himself with a plastic bag. He had previously given up his infant daughter into a baby hatch.

 I hate stories like this where the husband goes off, kills his wife and kids, then commits suicide. Just kill yourself if you must but don't take anyone else with you.

I love stories where older men have hot young wives and started a new family. Gives me hope I'll get lucky, though unlikely in Huntsville, Alabama.


Baby hatch? That's a thing?
 
2013-01-28 12:31:05 PM  
Damn....Spandau joke, or 68 year old married to 28 year old with 2 kids joke?
 
2013-01-28 12:31:11 PM  
FTA: "The debt-riddled asset consultant had suffocated them all before killing himself with a plastic bag. He had previously given up his infant daughter into a baby hatch."

Damn. I hope that little girl never finds out about her real parents.
 
2013-01-28 12:31:22 PM  
Any local nursing home has that topped weekly.
 
2013-01-28 12:31:43 PM  
http://youtu.be/SeBjr8Bm_wA
 
2013-01-28 12:33:11 PM  
"Tabloid newspaper Bild dug up the details."

Ahh the Bild, Germany's answer to the New York Post.
 
2013-01-28 12:33:26 PM  
The debt-riddled asset consultant had suffocated them all before killing himself with a plastic bag. He had previously given up his infant daughter into a baby hatch.

If you take an infant daughter to an infant hatch, what do you take to a booby hatch?

Not gonna google Booby Hatch or Booby Hatchery. I don't need the network goons coming by and beating me about the spleen.
 
2013-01-28 12:34:19 PM  

GBB: Baby hatch? That's a thing?


Yup.
You put the kids in, ring the bell. leave.

Also known and Ding dong dash.

/Or, you could be thinking of the American Colloquialism, baby hatch for vajayjay.
 
2013-01-28 12:34:23 PM  
There once was a house in Berlin
That did several people in
They should gather 'round
And burn to the ground
As reasons for living there thin
 
2013-01-28 12:34:32 PM  
Can't be any worse than the prom of doom.

snltranscripts.jt.org
 
2013-01-28 12:37:32 PM  

vudukungfu: GBB: Baby hatch? That's a thing?

Yup.
You put the kids in, ring the bell. leave.

Also known and Ding dong dash.

/Or, you could be thinking of the American Colloquialism, baby hatch for vajayjay.


Well America you can surrender your child anonymously at a safe have (hospital or fire station typically) within 72 hours of birth. The hatch just takes the hand off of the baby out of the equation.
 
2013-01-28 12:37:51 PM  

GBB: Baby hatch? That's a thing?


Why yes. Didn't you ever notice on those restroom prophylactic machines the sign pointing to the coin slot saying, "If defective, push baby in here?"
 
2013-01-28 12:38:52 PM  

AirForceVet: FTA: Summer 2012 and Berlin police were called to the building's maisonette apartment, where they found the bodies of 69-year-old Kristian B., his wife Kathrin, 28, and their two sons aged six and three.

The debt-riddled asset consultant had suffocated them all before killing himself with a plastic bag. He had previously given up his infant daughter into a baby hatch.

 I hate stories like this where the husband goes off, kills his wife and kids, then commits suicide. Just kill yourself if you must but don't take anyone else with you.

I love stories where older men have hot young wives and started a new family. Gives me hope I'll get lucky, though unlikely in Huntsville, Alabama.


Older men with hot young wives are usually total scumbags. I personally know of too many cases where fellows left a wife with multiple children, just pretended they didn't exist, and left them to suffer in poverty. Some years ago this also carried a brutal social stygmata and there wasn't the social policies in place back then to provide support money for these families. Meanwhile that same thoughtless cocksmith who thinks nothing of walking away from his primary responsibility is probably not the kind of thoughtful guy who will make sure Insurance benefits will be in place when he keels over and his second or third wife is left with a few children or teens to feed. Many a fellow has a lady friend on the side as a quiet, discreet arrangement and the family doesn't suffer for it, they may even benefit as she helps him to stay in good cheer. But a fellow who is going to recite wedding vows, populate the Earth and then behave as if he's a young footloose bachelor is nothing shy of a self-involved bastard. You're better than to admire the likes of that.
 
2013-01-28 12:39:00 PM  
If you live in a house, you will die.

GASP!
 
2013-01-28 12:39:33 PM  
I was going to make some kind of Bauhaus joke, but I'm too hungover right now.

/Was his name Bela?
//farkin' martinis
///farkin' family dinners
 
2013-01-28 12:41:20 PM  
1. Car Accident
2, Car Accident
3. Suicide
4. Murder
5. Murder
6. Moidered
7. Moidered
8. Suicided
9. Suicided

Not one "chandelier slips from it's hook and swings across the dinner table decapitating many". Not one "hot chick trapped in a shower and the hot water suddenly goes up to 220 degrees". Not even a "knife falling from an overhead rack in to the skull of the evil housekeeper".

Not even a dance of death in this town. It's more like a Spandau Ballet.
 
2013-01-28 12:42:27 PM  

KrispyKritter: You're better than to admire the likes of that.


Yeah, like that Aristotle guy. You shouldn't admire him, because he said that the ideal age for marriage was 18 for women and 40 for men.
 
2013-01-28 12:43:39 PM  
He who breaks the law, must go back to the house of pain
 
2013-01-28 12:43:43 PM  
I don't think this much is true,
 
2013-01-28 12:44:36 PM  

untaken_name: KrispyKritter: You're better than to admire the likes of that.

Yeah, like that Aristotle guy. You shouldn't admire him, because he said that the ideal age for marriage was 18 for women and 40 for men.


well, no matter how smart and clever Aristotle may have been, I have no reason to believe he wasn't an asshole to boot.
 
2013-01-28 12:46:29 PM  
My first thought was that "Baby Hatch" would make a good name for a band, but it's probably been done by some hipsters in an ironic frenzy that I have not heard about. "Ironic Frenzy" would also be a good name for a band.
 
2013-01-28 12:47:08 PM  

AirForceVet: I love stories where older men have hot young wives and started a new family. Gives me hope I'll get lucky, though unlikely in Huntsville, Alabama.


Do you really want to start having children when you're over 50? I can think of about twenty reasons why this is not a particularly fantastic idea.
 
2013-01-28 12:48:23 PM  

KrispyKritter: Older men with hot young wives are usually total scumbags. I personally know of too many cases where fellows left a wife with multiple children, just pretended they didn't exist, and left them to suffer in poverty. Some years ago this also carried a brutal social stygmata and there wasn't the social policies in place back then to provide support money for these families. Meanwhile that same thoughtless cocksmith who thinks nothing of walking away from his primary responsibility is probably not the kind of thoughtful guy who will make sure Insurance benefits will be in place when he keels over and his second or third wife is left with a few children or teens to feed. Many a fellow has a lady friend on the side as a quiet, discreet arrangement and the family doesn't suffer for it, they may even benefit as she helps him to stay in good cheer. But a fellow who is going to recite wedding vows, populate the Earth and then behave as if he's a young footloose bachelor is nothing shy of a self-involved bastard. You're better than to admire the likes of that.


My, who peed in your Rice Krispies® this morning?
 
2013-01-28 12:48:35 PM  

pute kisses like a man: untaken_name: KrispyKritter: You're better than to admire the likes of that.

Yeah, like that Aristotle guy. You shouldn't admire him, because he said that the ideal age for marriage was 18 for women and 40 for men.

well, no matter how smart and clever Aristotle may have been, I have no reason to believe he wasn't an asshole to boot.


Wait, are assholes not admirable now? Whoa, history's gonna need some serious revision. Two of my favorite assholes:

upload.wikimedia.org

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-28 12:51:55 PM  
It's not a fun exercise to imagine the logic of a murderer but I must admit a little curiosity as to why he spared his infant daughter and killed his 3 and 6 year old sons. Already corrupted by the world at a young age? Sexism? Who knows its farked up.
 
2013-01-28 12:51:58 PM  
I wonder if the staff of the now-closed "Killer King" hospital in Los Angeles found new employment in Germany?
 
2013-01-28 12:52:02 PM  
Not like anyone died a violent death in Berlin before...

wwwdelivery.superstock.com
 
2013-01-28 12:52:13 PM  

GBB: Baby hatch? That's a thing?


babyboomeradvisorclub.com
What a baby hatch may look like.
 
2013-01-28 12:59:58 PM  
 
2013-01-28 01:01:41 PM  
Is there a Delicatessen on the first floor?
 
2013-01-28 01:02:11 PM  
Someone needs to get Kraftwerk/Scorpions/The Hoff/Nena/Rammstein to write a techno/hard rock/?/pop/heavy metal song about this house stat!
 
2013-01-28 01:03:55 PM  
All houses kill their inhabitants. Some are just less......patient than others.
 
2013-01-28 01:05:51 PM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-01-28 01:07:58 PM  

Fano: He who breaks the law, must go back to the house of pain


And get out their seats and jump around?
 
2013-01-28 01:19:14 PM  

blackhonda: OK, Somebody had to do it
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_hatches


I've never heard of this term or concept before and was going to Google it (with safe search turned up to 11) right after I got to the end of thread.

Thanks for saving me the trouble.
 
2013-01-28 01:24:35 PM  
So, you don't want the abattoir, then?
 
2013-01-28 01:28:32 PM  
"I hadn't fully ascertained your attitude towards the tenants!"
 
2013-01-28 01:37:01 PM  
I was thinking I kept seeing this place over and over again on "House Hunters International".
Home comes with 3 bedrooms, 2 1/2 baths, a fully equipped gourmet kitchen, a curse, and a two-car garage with workshop space.
 
2013-01-28 01:37:39 PM  

ZAZ: Only nine in 15 years. German death houses used to kill much more efficiently.


Ahahaha. Geez, it's even worse that I chortled at that because I am German.
 
2013-01-28 01:41:39 PM  
Wonder who's buried in the basement.
 
2013-01-28 01:42:03 PM  
New thing learned from TFA: Baby Hatch
 
2013-01-28 01:47:24 PM  
A "house of doom?" Or perhaps a "doom house?"

imageshack.us
 
2013-01-28 01:53:49 PM  

berylman: It's not a fun exercise to imagine the logic of a murderer but I must admit a little curiosity as to why he spared his infant daughter and killed his 3 and 6 year old sons. Already corrupted by the world at a young age? Sexism? Who knows its farked up.


That is an easy one. The 3 & 6 year old could have identified his corpse as the killer. He killed them so he wouldn't get caught.
 
2013-01-28 01:56:36 PM  
Sounds like a perfect place for next season's The Real World.
 
2013-01-28 01:59:48 PM  

berylman: It's not a fun exercise to imagine the logic of a murderer but I must admit a little curiosity as to why he spared his infant daughter and killed his 3 and 6 year old sons. Already corrupted by the world at a young age? Sexism? Who knows its farked up.


My guess would be that he didn't want the older children being adopted out, because older children, especially boys, are notoriously hard to find adoptive parents for. A baby girl will have an adoptive family before nightfall, if the bureaucracy can move that fast.
 
2013-01-28 01:59:49 PM  

Loucifer: Sounds like a perfect place for next season's The Real World.


I vote Jersey Shore.
 
2013-01-28 02:00:12 PM  
"GEH....RAUS...."
 
2013-01-28 02:01:21 PM  
I don't think auto accidents should count since they did not happen in the house.
 
2013-01-28 02:06:11 PM  
This is a house of doom..

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-28 02:09:14 PM  

berylman: It's not a fun exercise to imagine the logic of a murderer but I must admit a little curiosity as to why he spared his infant daughter and killed his 3 and 6 year old sons. Already corrupted by the world at a young age? Sexism? Who knows its farked up.


I'm assuming the infant daughter was given up before the murders. The wife calls him out for his failure as a provider, maybe even claiming the baby wasn't his.

Pride is dangerous on its own, mix it with objective failure and it becomes deadly.
 
2013-01-28 02:20:37 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-28 02:22:00 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

Pfft. Amateurs.

/possibly obscure
//check filename+teh googles
 
2013-01-28 02:22:23 PM  

cgraves67: Damn. I hope that little girl never finds out about her real parents.


Too bad we live in an Internet age where she'll probably stumble across it on Google while trying to find out what Facebook knows about her.
 
2013-01-28 02:30:07 PM  
LesterB

Devil in the White City is a great book.
 
2013-01-28 02:33:24 PM  
Had nothing to do with it:

raw.github.com
 
2013-01-28 02:40:43 PM  

KrispyKritter: AirForceVet: FTA: Summer 2012 and Berlin police were called to the building's maisonette apartment, where they found the bodies of 69-year-old Kristian B., his wife Kathrin, 28, and their two sons aged six and three.

The debt-riddled asset consultant had suffocated them all before killing himself with a plastic bag. He had previously given up his infant daughter into a baby hatch.

 I hate stories like this where the husband goes off, kills his wife and kids, then commits suicide. Just kill yourself if you must but don't take anyone else with you.

I love stories where older men have hot young wives and started a new family. Gives me hope I'll get lucky, though unlikely in Huntsville, Alabama.

Older men with hot young wives are usually total scumbags. I personally know of too many cases where fellows left a wife with multiple children, just pretended they didn't exist, and left them to suffer in poverty. Some years ago this also carried a brutal social stygmata and there wasn't the social policies in place back then to provide support money for these families. Meanwhile that same thoughtless cocksmith who thinks nothing of walking away from his primary responsibility is probably not the kind of thoughtful guy who will make sure Insurance benefits will be in place when he keels over and his second or third wife is left with a few children or teens to feed. Many a fellow has a lady friend on the side as a quiet, discreet arrangement and the family doesn't suffer for it, they may even benefit as she helps him to stay in good cheer. But a fellow who is going to recite wedding vows, populate the Earth and then behave as if he's a young footloose bachelor is nothing shy of a self-involved bastard. You're better than to admire the likes of that.


And not a word about the scummy gold-digger he leaves his family for, other than sympathy for her when he leaves her nothing.
 
2013-01-28 02:46:56 PM  

Insult Comic Bishounen: A "house of doom?" Or perhaps a "doom house?"

[imageshack.us image 300x247]


Doom.... HOUSE?
 
2013-01-28 03:09:41 PM  

LesterB: [upload.wikimedia.org image 186x254]

Pfft. Amateurs.

/possibly obscure
//check filename+teh googles


"Man, look at my obscure reference! I hope people get it."

/HH Holmes is not obscure
 
2013-01-28 03:15:05 PM  

KrispyKritter: AirForceVet: FTA: Summer 2012 and Berlin police were called to the building's maisonette apartment, where they found the bodies of 69-year-old Kristian B., his wife Kathrin, 28, and their two sons aged six and three.

The debt-riddled asset consultant had suffocated them all before killing himself with a plastic bag. He had previously given up his infant daughter into a baby hatch.

 I hate stories like this where the husband goes off, kills his wife and kids, then commits suicide. Just kill yourself if you must but don't take anyone else with you.

I love stories where older men have hot young wives and started a new family. Gives me hope I'll get lucky, though unlikely in Huntsville, Alabama.

Older men with hot young wives are usually total scumbags. I personally know of too many cases where fellows left a wife with multiple children, just pretended they didn't exist, and left them to suffer in poverty. Some years ago this also carried a brutal social stygmata and there wasn't the social policies in place back then to provide support money for these families. Meanwhile that same thoughtless cocksmith who thinks nothing of walking away from his primary responsibility is probably not the kind of thoughtful guy who will make sure Insurance benefits will be in place when he keels over and his second or third wife is left with a few children or teens to feed. Many a fellow has a lady friend on the side as a quiet, discreet arrangement and the family doesn't suffer for it, they may even benefit as she helps him to stay in good cheer. But a fellow who is going to recite wedding vows, populate the Earth and then behave as if he's a young footloose bachelor is nothing shy of a self-involved bastard. You're better than to admire the likes of that.


I don't think this ever actually happens outside of comic books and daytime television dramas. When you talk to real people about it, it's generally that he treats the family like complete shiat and then cries like a biatch when his wife finds out and crucifies him for alimony and child support.
 
2013-01-28 03:25:02 PM  

extroverted_suicide: Insult Comic Bishounen: A "house of doom?" Or perhaps a "doom house?"

[imageshack.us image 300x247]

Doom.... HOUSE?


*dee-dee-dee! dee-dee-dee! dee-dee-dee!
*BOOM-BOOM-crunch-BOOM BOOM!*
*BOOM-BOOM-crunch-BOOM BOOM!*
*waaai-dunk-chunk-chunka-chunkchunk!*
*waaai-dunk-chunk-chunka-chunkchunk!*
*waaai-dunk -dunk- dunk -dunk...*

"DOOOOoooooM.
Doom Haus!
Doom Haus micht!

DOOOOoooooM.
Doom Haus!
Doom Haus micht!
Doom Haus MIIIICHT!

Doom Haus micht gefraght,
Doom Haus micht gefraght,
Doom Haus micht gefraght,
And I speak Deutsche nein!
 
2013-01-28 03:28:19 PM  

ObscureNameHere: extroverted_suicide: Insult Comic Bishounen: A "house of doom?" Or perhaps a "doom house?"

[imageshack.us image 300x247]

Doom.... HOUSE?

*dee-dee-dee! dee-dee-dee! dee-dee-dee!
*BOOM-BOOM-crunch-BOOM BOOM!*
*BOOM-BOOM-crunch-BOOM BOOM!*
*waaai-dunk-chunk-chunka-chunkchunk!*
*waaai-dunk-chunk-chunka-chunkchunk!*
*waaai-dunk -dunk- dunk -dunk...*

"DOOOOoooooM.
Doom Haus!
Doom Haus micht!

DOOOOoooooM.
Doom Haus!
Doom Haus micht!
Doom Haus MIIIICHT!

Doom Haus micht gefraght,
Doom Haus micht gefraght,
Doom Haus micht gefraght,
And I speak Deutsche nein!


genius.
 
2013-01-28 03:49:07 PM  
Is the address 1408?
 
2013-01-28 03:54:38 PM  

lilplatinum: "Tabloid newspaper Bild dug up the details."

Ahh the Bild, Germany's answer to the New York Post.


sadly the Bild is much, much, much worse that the New York post...
 
2013-01-28 03:58:27 PM  
This doesn't sound like anything that a dashing, hat-wearing cat-burglar couldn't untangle.

http://www.fullyramblomatic.com/5days/screen2.gif
 
2013-01-28 05:03:28 PM  
9 people in 15 years? Uh, what's the normal death rate of any apartment complex?

If they think that's bad I can show them a few places where at least 9 people die per month.
 
2013-01-28 05:51:41 PM  

vodka: 9 people in 15 years? Uh, what's the normal death rate of any apartment complex?

If they think that's bad I can show them a few places where at least 9 people die per month.


and let's not even start talking about hospitals... farking death machines
 
2013-01-28 06:03:13 PM  
It's all the fault of that... odd looking... figurine.
 
2013-01-28 06:17:08 PM  

ghostwind: lilplatinum: "Tabloid newspaper Bild dug up the details."

Ahh the Bild, Germany's answer to the New York Post.

sadly the Bild is much, much, much worse that the New York post...


Yeah but at least you get to look at tits when you read the Bild.
 
2013-01-29 01:36:17 AM  

GBB: Baby hatch? That's a thing?


It is, and it's not even a new thing. In Florence in the middle ages, one of the convents had a hatch which was manned event night by a nun to assure that the babies dropped off were healthy and safe.
 
2013-01-29 04:09:11 AM  
Nice to see that German newspapers are able to come up with a feel good story such as this every once and a while.
 
2013-01-29 03:29:40 PM  
www.weirdwildrealm.com

Stupid french vampires.
 
2013-01-29 11:55:27 PM  

blackhonda: OK, Somebody had to do it
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_hatches


Ooo! OOOooooh! I can help too! Let me help.
 
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