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(Deadspin)   The latest sport to fall victim to a doping scandal? Take a guess. Nope. No, not that one. Probably no one will get this   (deadspin.com) divider line 117
    More: Followup, banned substances, Paralympic Games, WCF, sports, beta blockers  
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30423 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 11:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-28 12:35:40 PM  
My guess is that the committee will just let this slide.
 
2013-01-28 12:37:11 PM  

Flint Ironstag: I've always thought that the best way for athletes to hide the fact that they have taken performance enhancing drugs would be to just run a bit slower.


Golf clap to you sir. I read that in Steven Wright's voice.
 
2013-01-28 12:40:10 PM  
Is there any organization that maintains real records, rather than politically correct ones?
 
2013-01-28 12:46:28 PM  
BWAHHAAAA.

I guessed right....curling!

/ok. 1/2 right. I didn't get the wheelchair part.
 
2013-01-28 12:48:38 PM  
There were random drug tests at the dart tournament in Las Vegas this past weekend. Guess that is out too...
 
2013-01-28 12:51:07 PM  

hurdygurdy27: There were random drug tests at the dart tournament in Las Vegas this past weekend. Guess that is out too...


Did they test the judges???
NOOO!

Same ol' chit. Nannys always test "sumbuddy elses".
 
2013-01-28 12:53:55 PM  
I guessed ping pong or decathlon.

\roid rage with shotguns and avalanches
 
2013-01-28 01:09:52 PM  

TheGogmagog: Curling or Poker?

... So close.


And apparently they both can be played successefully while sitting down in a comfy chair.

Bring on the comfy chair!
 
2013-01-28 01:38:53 PM  
oh man I was so close, i guessed curling, but not wheel chair curling.
/subs was right, i mean who would have guessed that?
 
2013-01-28 02:03:21 PM  
no one will get this because you said, "sport".
 
2013-01-28 02:08:48 PM  
I was going to say "poker" because ESPN seems to believe that's a sport.

Otherwise, I'd've gone with "bowling."
 
2013-01-28 02:09:20 PM  
Snooker? Archery? Rifle Markmenship?

* clicks article *

OK, really didn't see that one coming
 
2013-01-28 02:33:37 PM  
Wheel Chair Curling sounds like something cruel teenagers would do to a handicapped salvation army bell ringer by pushing them out into an icy winter parking lot in front of Walmart.
 
2013-01-28 02:38:33 PM  
I don't think there has been a curling match I have participated in where one or more of us hasn't had a beer or three already.
 
2013-01-28 02:40:09 PM  
bergenwheelers.homestead.com
 
2013-01-28 02:48:00 PM  
I believe that steroids should not only be legal, but be made MANDATORY in all sporting events!
 
2013-01-28 02:59:57 PM  

Slesfo: Dammit. I guessed paralympic billiards. So close.


I guessed curling.  So close.

/many a boring but fun night passed with my dad and brother watching curling on CBC
//you learn how to scream SWEEP in so many languages during the world championships!
 
2013-01-28 03:00:43 PM  
I guessed "curling" so half-credit.
 
2013-01-28 03:03:25 PM  
I guessed curling, honest, but not the wheelchair version.
 
2013-01-28 03:06:57 PM  
Aww, they just wanna win. Go get 'em, Ladybugs!
 
2013-01-28 03:16:22 PM  
MAR 16, 2012 10:40 AM

oldnewsissoexciting.jpg

/I picked darts.
//But then I wondered if alcohol would count as a PED.
 
2013-01-28 04:03:37 PM  
I'd like to hammer her hog line, if you know what I mean....

www.calgaryherald.com
 
2013-01-28 04:04:11 PM  
this kind of news is crippling to the sport.
 
2013-01-28 04:20:01 PM  
Wazzup ... there's not the usual level of disdain for curling in this thread.
 
2013-01-28 04:24:18 PM  
I guessed curling....do I get half credit?
 
2013-01-28 04:59:29 PM  

The Flexecutioner: this kind of news is crippling to the sport.


+1
 
2013-01-28 05:23:30 PM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: I was going to say "poker" because ESPN seems to believe that's a sport.

Otherwise, I'd've gone with "bowling."


Why do you believe ESPN considers poker a sport? ESPN is not an exclusively sports network. It is the 'Entertainment & SPorts Network'. When it started there was much more entertainment coverage but sporting pursuits have since taken over most of the programming.
 
2013-01-28 05:35:54 PM  
I wouldn't vote for them into the hall of fame.
 
2013-01-28 05:58:00 PM  

blatz514: An anti-"biatch tits" drug,


I think I need to wear a stuffed bra and a hello my name is bob nametag for halloween.
 
db2
2013-01-28 06:13:51 PM  
I figured it was either curling or jai alai, so I'm pleased with the outcome.
 
2013-01-28 07:02:20 PM  

stoppit: Wazzup ... there's not the usual level of disdain for curling in this thread.


I was surprised as well.
 
2013-01-28 07:16:59 PM  
Meanwhile, his wife was taking aspirin (thinking it was her breast cancer medicine) and died of cancer...
 
2013-01-28 07:25:51 PM  
Holy carp... I actually guessed curling. I missed the wheelchair part, though.
 
2013-01-28 08:54:56 PM  
Curling was my first guess too.
 
2013-01-28 11:21:31 PM  
I said "curling"--I was so close!!!11!!
 
2013-01-28 11:28:20 PM  

Ablejack: Huck And Molly Ziegler: I was going to say "poker" because ESPN seems to believe that's a sport.

Otherwise, I'd've gone with "bowling."

Why do you believe ESPN considers poker a sport? ESPN is not an exclusively sports network. It is the 'Entertainment & SPorts Network'. When it started there was much more entertainment coverage but sporting pursuits have since taken over most of the programming.


I stand corrected. Thank you. I do recall, now that you say it, that the "E" did stand for that.

Now that my humility is out of the way, I contend poker is a really really dumb thing to put on TV. What's the matter, ESPN - no cooking utensil manufacturers or preacher charlatans wanna buy up that two-hour bloc??

My apologies to bowlers, too.
 
2013-01-29 04:40:35 AM  
So it wasn't LGBT indoor badminton......I was wondering why the crips were beating the bloods.
 
2013-01-29 05:49:00 AM  
I actually DID guess curling - just not wheelchair curling.

/Really want to try curling
//Could be my only chance to get into the Olympics
 
2013-01-29 07:20:53 AM  

brantgoose: Look at the way cricket has been taken over by South Asians, the most unsporty people on Earth. Dullness is a positive advantage. When it comes to cricket, Asians are whiter than white and duller than a night course lecture in advanced mathematics given in Welsh at the University of Caernarvon. They really put everything they've got into cricket, because they haven't got a decent basketball team in a sub-continent with well over a billion people in it..


You obviously don't follow cricket or know much about it.

Watching India play is indeed like watching paint dry. Cricket is a tactically complex sport of "Who Dares Wins", and India draws more Test matches than any other team because they usually don't have the balls to go for the victory. Fark India.

Pakistan and Sri Lanka are fun teams to watch, though.

Bangladesh can't help it that they're shiat. Bangladesh is what the New Orleans Saints would be if Lousiana got hit by a hurricane every single farking year and the Saints could only pick players born in the NOLA area. But with more poverty.

Who gives a shiat if the sub-continent can't produce a good basketball team? Basketball is a decent sport, but name me a single basketball great who was under 6'6". Where exactly would Diego Maradona, Lionel Messi or Sachin Tendulkar fit into any American sport?

Those guys are global greats because they have actual technique and skill, rather than just being born tall and muscular. Wayne Gretzky is the only North American sportsman I'd include in their category. Which actually does credit to your continent, seeing as North America only makes up 5% of the global population.

But hey, you Yanks have that seven-time winner of the Tour de France. And that Mark McGwire-Sammy Sosa home-run chase was pure awesome.
 
2013-01-29 08:59:30 AM  

RealFarknMcCoy2: //Could be my only chance to get into the Olympics


Don't forget the shooting sports. Some of those guys are magnificently paunchy and middle-aged.
 
2013-01-29 09:11:25 AM  
They need to do whatever it takes to give them a leg up on the competition.
 
2013-01-29 09:35:30 AM  

Trapper439: but name me a single basketball great who was under 6'6".


John Stockton
Oscar Robertson
Chris Paul
Rajon Rondo

There are lots and lots of guards under 6'6".

Trapper439: Those guys are global greats because they have actual technique and skill, rather than just being born tall and muscular.


I'd say that they're great because they're just naturally small, which is an advantage in soccer because your legs are shorter and it enables your eyes to be closer to the ball (easier to have eye/foot coordination), makes it easier to change directions in shorter spaces, etc.

It's pretty annoying when short people always have to pretend like "Oh, anything we do is because we're talented! Taller people were just born that way and aren't skilled!"
 
2013-01-29 11:29:59 AM  

IAmRight: John Stockton
Oscar Robertson
Chris Paul
Rajon Rondo


I've heard of that John Stockton guy. I believe that he had a partnership with some guy called Karl Malone when they were both playing for the Utah Jazz.

Mind you, unlike 95% of the world's sports fans I've actually lived in the US. Hell, I even have a vague recollection of hearing of that Oscar Roberts guy.

IAmRight: It's pretty annoying when short people always have to pretend like "Oh, anything we do is because we're talented! Taller people were just born that way and aren't skilled!"


Again, I respect Wayne Gretzky as a sportsman. His vision, pure reflexes, and speed of thought is what the other 95% of the world's sports fans who live outside the US look for in a sportsman.

I'll ask you again: which position would Maradona, Messi, or Tendulkar excel at in the NBA, NFL, or MLB?

Meanwhile, in the next few days, the US will be wondering if Ray Lewis is going to win a "World Championship" of a sport that nobody outside the US even plays.

media.tumblr.com

How absolutely adorable.
 
2013-01-29 11:34:32 AM  

Trapper439: I'll ask you again: which position would Maradona, Messi, or Tendulkar excel at in the NBA, NFL, or MLB?


What does that have to do with anything?

Trapper439: Meanwhile, in the next few days, the US will be wondering if Ray Lewis is going to win a "World Championship" of a sport that nobody outside the US even plays.


Ugh, this annoying crap again.

a) people outside the US do play
b) can't really argue that it's the world championship if no one else has a league, either
 
2013-01-29 11:35:08 AM  
Correction: Can't argue that it's NOT the world championship if no one else has a league.
 
2013-01-29 11:50:54 AM  

IAmRight: Trapper439: I'll ask you again: which position would Maradona, Messi, or Tendulkar excel at in the NBA, NFL, or MLB?

What does that have to do with anything?


Skill.

I get it, US sports don't place an emphasis on skill. Some asshole who can't even tie his own shoelaces gets born to be 8'3" and 450 pounds? First round draft pick and future Hall of Famer... He'll never have to anything more skilfull than catch a ball and he'll still be a legend.

IAmRight: Correction: Can't argue that it's NOT the world championship if no one else has a league.


The All-Ireland Gaelic Football champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Gaelic Football.

The Indian Kabaddi champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Kabaddi.

The US calling the winners of the NFL, NBA, and MLB "World Champions" is simply farking retarded. Sorry if that offends you.
 
2013-01-29 11:57:36 AM  

Trapper439: Skill.

I get it, US sports don't place an emphasis on skill.


I get it, you think that skill is something only little people have. You're stupid enough to think that height makes you good at basketball.

Trapper439: Some asshole who can't even tie his own shoelaces gets born to be 8'3" and 450 pounds? First round draft pick and future Hall of Famer... He'll never have to anything more skilfull than catch a ball and he'll still be a legend.


Yup, that's all every sport is. And soccer is just kicking a ball.

Trapper439: The Indian Kabaddi champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Kabaddi.


No one really cares what they call themselves. They could call themselves the Champions of the Universe and we wouldn't really feel the need to talk sh*t about it because it that doesn't befront us any. But if you're a pathetic fan of other sports, then you have to get all upset about what other leagues call their champion. Who the f*ck cares? They can call themselves "Lords and Masters of all of Existence" and it really doesn't affect you at all. Yet you get mad about it and bring it up like it means something.
 
2013-01-29 12:45:02 PM  

Trapper439: IAmRight: Trapper439: I'll ask you again: which position would Maradona, Messi, or Tendulkar excel at in the NBA, NFL, or MLB?

What does that have to do with anything?

Skill.

I get it, US sports don't place an emphasis on skill. Some asshole who can't even tie his own shoelaces gets born to be 8'3" and 450 pounds? First round draft pick and future Hall of Famer... He'll never have to anything more skilfull than catch a ball and he'll still be a legend.

IAmRight: Correction: Can't argue that it's NOT the world championship if no one else has a league.

The All-Ireland Gaelic Football champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Gaelic Football.

The Indian Kabaddi champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Kabaddi.

The US calling the winners of the NFL, NBA, and MLB "World Champions" is simply farking retarded. Sorry if that offends you.


The Miss Universe contest must really put treacle in your knickers
 
2013-01-29 01:03:39 PM  

Trapper439: The US calling the winners of the NFL, NBA, and MLB "World Champions" is simply farking retarded.


Oh, and since we have all of the best players of those sports in the world in those leagues, it's no dumber than any World Cup (which doesn't include every single nation! Therefore it's a sham!).
 
2013-01-29 01:28:32 PM  

IAmRight: Trapper439: The US calling the winners of the NFL, NBA, and MLB "World Champions" is simply farking retarded.

Oh, and since we have all of the best players of those sports in the world in those leagues, it's no dumber than any World Cup (which doesn't include every single nation! Therefore it's a sham!).


You know what's most exciting about the Olympics as a yank? Watching America rack up gold medals in sports we don't give a fark about, cramming a banger down the gobs of louts that want to believe that just because Americans don't have time for FIFA we don't have great athletes. Between the seasons for mlb, the NBA, the NHL, and the NFL, leaving out college variants of same, plus so help me god NASCAR, we're a little stocked up on sporting events.
 
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