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(Deadspin)   The latest sport to fall victim to a doping scandal? Take a guess. Nope. No, not that one. Probably no one will get this   (deadspin.com) divider line 117
    More: Followup, banned substances, Paralympic Games, WCF, sports, beta blockers  
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30425 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 11:04 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



117 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-28 11:06:35 AM  
Seems cruel to curl someone in a wheelchair.
 
2013-01-28 11:06:42 AM  
"biatch tits"

giggity
 
2013-01-28 11:06:43 AM  
Dammit. I guessed paralympic billiards. So close.
 
2013-01-28 11:07:28 AM  
I knew it. Bastard! I am burning his Rookie Card.
 
2013-01-28 11:07:30 AM  
An anti-"biatch tits" drug,

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-28 11:07:33 AM  
Last time I went curling I saw plenty of people who would have tested positive for Labatt's, Molson, and Moosehead.
 
2013-01-28 11:08:32 AM  
Ahh...I was guessing Beer Pong
 
2013-01-28 11:09:59 AM  
Dang it... so close... I guessed curling... but missed the possibility of the wheelchair aspect...
 
Skr
2013-01-28 11:10:01 AM  
Saw this one dude that was curling in a wheelchair with hydraulics installed. F'er was brooming and bouncing to mexican polka.
 
2013-01-28 11:10:27 AM  
Gurgitating?
 
2013-01-28 11:11:04 AM  
Not sure how much performance enhancement that performance enhancing drugs could cause in curling.

The most important thing seems to be to have less alcohol in your blood than your competition. They should test using breathalyzers.
 
2013-01-28 11:11:25 AM  
MAR 16, 2012 10:40 AM

(Just so everybody knows this is an old post)
 
2013-01-28 11:11:59 AM  
+1 to subby for not going for the obvious 'Armstrong tests positive' joke.
 
2013-01-28 11:14:14 AM  
I got the "curling" part right, but not the "wheelchair" part.

/No, really.
 
2013-01-28 11:15:11 AM  
FTA: Jim Armstrong, a member of the Canadian Curling Hall of Fame

Seriously, did they need to mention that it was Canadian?

/ thought that'd be a given
 
2013-01-28 11:15:56 AM  

imfallen_angel: Dang it... so close... I guessed curling... but missed the possibility of the wheelchair aspect...


Cybernetic: I got the "curling" part right, but not the "wheelchair" part.

/No, really.


Me too. I had no idea 'wheelchair curling' even existed.
 
2013-01-28 11:16:16 AM  
Balsa wood and tissue paper model airplane building? Nah, doping is legitimate there....
 
2013-01-28 11:16:27 AM  
Nobody yet? I'm mean, come on!

i695.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-28 11:16:57 AM  

The Martian Manhandler: imfallen_angel: Dang it... so close... I guessed curling... but missed the possibility of the wheelchair aspect...

Cybernetic: I got the "curling" part right, but not the "wheelchair" part.

/No, really.

Me too. I had no idea 'wheelchair curling' even existed.


It sounds like a cruel joke like wheelchair cliff diving
 
2013-01-28 11:18:16 AM  
I was going to say "golf" but anything that a middle-aged white man can do well is not a sport.

And that goes double for curling, where strictly speaking, you don't necessarily have to be able to stand up, seeing as it was invented by drunk Scots who played it on ponds, thus making it a lot like sailing--a dull sport with an added risk of drowning.

But I'm not surprised when I think it through. After all, how many sports are there where you can do better by taking drugs to make you duller?

Baseball, golf, curling ... can you think of other sports where being dull, slow and deliberative is an asset?

And please, I'll do the Canadian jokes, thank you, as I am Canadian. Like Jews, we can joke self-deprecatory circles around non-members of our tribe.

Screw those 60 year old Swedes. Nobody can beat a middle-aged white Canadian at the dull sports.

Cricket is not an exception. We beat the English in 1865 and then gave the game up forever, except for the  games played on the lawn of Government House in Ottawa by Pakistanis and Jamaicans.
 
2013-01-28 11:19:07 AM  
Why is another Armstrong involved? Is this a family thing? Also, I am not sure why Viagra would play a part into this or do I even want to know. I am surprised this didn't involve powered wheelchairs.
 
2013-01-28 11:19:14 AM  
This one time, at Wheelchair Curling Camp, we all thought it would be fun to,,,
 
2013-01-28 11:20:20 AM  

brantgoose: I was going to say "golf" but anything that a middle-aged white man can do well is not a sport.



Go out on the course right now. See how well you do compared to the pros. Go on.
 
2013-01-28 11:21:14 AM  
I just thought of a dull sport that Canadians might not dominate: boche ball. But then again, there's more Italians in Toronto than in Venice, so we might be able to get some players together and beat the Italians at it as long as the Mafia doesn't get involved. If they do, it's our Mafia versus their Mafia. No telling how that game would turn out once all the bodies are buried.
 
2013-01-28 11:24:02 AM  
And another Armstrong involved in a doping sports scandal. When does it end?!?!?
 
2013-01-28 11:24:40 AM  
I guessed Sheep Dip, but then what sport could possibly involve sheep?
 
2013-01-28 11:25:48 AM  
I've always thought that the best way for athletes to hide the fact that they have taken performance enhancing drugs would be to just run a bit slower.
 
2013-01-28 11:26:34 AM  
 
2013-01-28 11:26:38 AM  

brantgoose: I just thought of a dull sport that Canadians might not dominate: boche ball. But then again, there's more Italians in Toronto than in Venice, so we might be able to get some players together and beat the Italians at it as long as the Mafia doesn't get involved. If they do, it's our Mafia versus their Mafia. No telling how that game would turn out once all the bodies are buried.


Bocce is just curling without ice.
 
2013-01-28 11:27:03 AM  

KangTheMad: brantgoose: I was going to say "golf" but anything that a middle-aged white man can do well is not a sport.

Go out on the course right now. See how well you do compared to the pros. Go on.


You think bowling, darts and chess are sports as well I guess.
 
2013-01-28 11:27:17 AM  
I was really hoping for roller farking.
 
2013-01-28 11:30:53 AM  
i guessed right, sans the wheelchair part.
 
2013-01-28 11:32:24 AM  

Space Monkey 39: KangTheMad: brantgoose: I was going to say "golf" but anything that a middle-aged white man can do well is not a sport.

Go out on the course right now. See how well you do compared to the pros. Go on.

You think bowling, darts and chess are sports as well I guess.


Chess? No, but a game that takes a high level of physical precision, practice, and effort to do well? Yes.
 
2013-01-28 11:34:11 AM  

KangTheMad: brantgoose: I was going to say "golf" but anything that a middle-aged white man can do well is not a sport.

Go out on the course right now. See how well you do compared to the pros. Go on.


More white and middle-aged then me and you die! as the French say.

But I never claimed that all middle-aged white guys are good at baseball. I just said that some of them are. Most baseball fans can't play baseball to save their lives and they would be beaten by a team of tree-planters that spent ten hours planting trees, then went home to cook dinner for their husbands and children, before suiting up for the women's league baseball game that evening. Trust me. I know whereof I speak.

I was talking about the pros, by the way. They're the ones who ARE good at baseball despite being fat, middle-aged and white. The only reason the sport hasn't been taken over entirely by young non-whites is that there's too much money to be made in basketball, football and hockey. Also, it's too dull for young non-whites.

Look at the way cricket has been taken over by South Asians, the most unsporty people on Earth. Dullness is a positive advantage. When it comes to cricket, Asians are whiter than white and duller than a night course lecture in advanced mathematics given in Welsh at the University of Caernarvon. They really put everything they've got into cricket, because they haven't got a decent basketball team in a sub-continent with well over a billion people in it..
 
2013-01-28 11:35:27 AM  
For "baseball" read "golf".

As if I care.
 
2013-01-28 11:35:33 AM  
Curling or Poker?

... So close.
 
2013-01-28 11:38:19 AM  
Believe it or not subby, curling was my first thought. I never guessed the wheelchairs though.

/guess I still lose
//but we took four ends
///and three slashies
 
2013-01-28 11:38:30 AM  

imfallen_angel: Dang it... so close... I guessed curling... but missed the possibility of the wheelchair aspect...


Me too... I got the curling part, but didn't even realize that there was anything beyond that.

Of course, if I'd noticed that it was on Jalopnik, I would have assumed cars and been WAY off...
 
2013-01-28 11:40:14 AM  
I also thought curling, until I saw it was from Jalopnik. Then I assumed some sort of car racing. I should have combined the two.
 
2013-01-28 11:46:39 AM  

badscooter: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWohhABEzJQ


Ok, between the South Park reference, and this one, the thread is now complete. You may all leave in an orderly fashion.
 
2013-01-28 11:47:31 AM  

bubbaprog: MAR 16, 2012 10:40 AM

(Just so everybody knows this is an old post)


I noticed that on my second read through. Follow-up research shows that his 18 month suspension won't end until the start of next season and the only thing mods love more than poor spelling/grammar is outdated news.
 
2013-01-28 11:51:59 AM  
They started drug testing in pro darts a few years back. The only people busted have been positive for weed. The anti drug policy belongs in some sports. Darts, not so much
 
2013-01-28 11:58:06 AM  
Damn it subby, I guessed curling, but you right I'd never would of guess the wheelchair part!
 
2013-01-28 11:58:25 AM  
The low gravity jumps on the lunar soundstage make sense now. Those crafty Armstrong men and their doping...
 
2013-01-28 12:02:49 PM  

DaintySavage: They started drug testing in pro darts a few years back. The only people busted have been positive for weed. The anti drug policy belongs in some sports. Darts, not so much


Now we know how Big Blue was defeated.
 
2013-01-28 12:11:15 PM  

brantgoose: And that goes double for curling, where strictly speaking, you don't necessarily have to be able to stand up, seeing as it was invented by drunk Scots who played it on ponds,


It was done originally to cool off the haggis after it had boiled long enough.
 
2013-01-28 12:16:48 PM  
Ok, I'm going with either chess or bass fishing.
 
2013-01-28 12:21:27 PM  

lack of warmth: Also, I am not sure why Viagra would play a part into this or do I even want to know.


"Listen, lady, how did you think I threw the stone without arms or legs?"
 
2013-01-28 12:24:06 PM  
Wheelchair curling sounds hard as hell. How do you go sideways down the ice in a wheelchair? I don't get how this works whether or not you're juicing.

[googles it]

It is governed by, and played, according to the rules of the World Curling Federation (WCF), with only one modification for wheelchair users - no sweeping.

WTF? So it's shuffleboard on ice? Then no, Jalopnik, I do not buy your thesis that a wheelchair curler would be smart to juice just for the fine motor control that comes with 20" biceps.

Curling is a beautiful sport in part because of the balance between the work the thrower does and the work the sweepers do. Wheelchair athletes deserve a better version than this. At the very least, why not plant your sweepers in stationary chairs at strategic points on the ice? Or add in non-disabled players to move the chair of the sweepers? Anything would be better.
 
2013-01-28 12:33:58 PM  

snocone: This one time, at Wheelchair Curling Camp, we all thought it would be fun to,,,


You sick bastard.

My dog's hair never grew back right.
 
2013-01-28 12:35:40 PM  
My guess is that the committee will just let this slide.
 
2013-01-28 12:37:11 PM  

Flint Ironstag: I've always thought that the best way for athletes to hide the fact that they have taken performance enhancing drugs would be to just run a bit slower.


Golf clap to you sir. I read that in Steven Wright's voice.
 
2013-01-28 12:40:10 PM  
Is there any organization that maintains real records, rather than politically correct ones?
 
2013-01-28 12:46:28 PM  
BWAHHAAAA.

I guessed right....curling!

/ok. 1/2 right. I didn't get the wheelchair part.
 
2013-01-28 12:48:38 PM  
There were random drug tests at the dart tournament in Las Vegas this past weekend. Guess that is out too...
 
2013-01-28 12:51:07 PM  

hurdygurdy27: There were random drug tests at the dart tournament in Las Vegas this past weekend. Guess that is out too...


Did they test the judges???
NOOO!

Same ol' chit. Nannys always test "sumbuddy elses".
 
2013-01-28 12:53:55 PM  
I guessed ping pong or decathlon.

\roid rage with shotguns and avalanches
 
2013-01-28 01:09:52 PM  

TheGogmagog: Curling or Poker?

... So close.


And apparently they both can be played successefully while sitting down in a comfy chair.

Bring on the comfy chair!
 
2013-01-28 01:38:53 PM  
oh man I was so close, i guessed curling, but not wheel chair curling.
/subs was right, i mean who would have guessed that?
 
2013-01-28 02:03:21 PM  
no one will get this because you said, "sport".
 
2013-01-28 02:08:48 PM  
I was going to say "poker" because ESPN seems to believe that's a sport.

Otherwise, I'd've gone with "bowling."
 
2013-01-28 02:09:20 PM  
Snooker? Archery? Rifle Markmenship?

* clicks article *

OK, really didn't see that one coming
 
2013-01-28 02:33:37 PM  
Wheel Chair Curling sounds like something cruel teenagers would do to a handicapped salvation army bell ringer by pushing them out into an icy winter parking lot in front of Walmart.
 
2013-01-28 02:38:33 PM  
I don't think there has been a curling match I have participated in where one or more of us hasn't had a beer or three already.
 
2013-01-28 02:40:09 PM  
bergenwheelers.homestead.com
 
2013-01-28 02:48:00 PM  
I believe that steroids should not only be legal, but be made MANDATORY in all sporting events!
 
2013-01-28 02:59:57 PM  

Slesfo: Dammit. I guessed paralympic billiards. So close.


I guessed curling.  So close.

/many a boring but fun night passed with my dad and brother watching curling on CBC
//you learn how to scream SWEEP in so many languages during the world championships!
 
2013-01-28 03:00:43 PM  
I guessed "curling" so half-credit.
 
2013-01-28 03:03:25 PM  
I guessed curling, honest, but not the wheelchair version.
 
2013-01-28 03:06:57 PM  
Aww, they just wanna win. Go get 'em, Ladybugs!
 
2013-01-28 03:16:22 PM  
MAR 16, 2012 10:40 AM

oldnewsissoexciting.jpg

/I picked darts.
//But then I wondered if alcohol would count as a PED.
 
2013-01-28 04:03:37 PM  
I'd like to hammer her hog line, if you know what I mean....

www.calgaryherald.com
 
2013-01-28 04:04:11 PM  
this kind of news is crippling to the sport.
 
2013-01-28 04:20:01 PM  
Wazzup ... there's not the usual level of disdain for curling in this thread.
 
2013-01-28 04:24:18 PM  
I guessed curling....do I get half credit?
 
2013-01-28 04:59:29 PM  

The Flexecutioner: this kind of news is crippling to the sport.


+1
 
2013-01-28 05:23:30 PM  

Huck And Molly Ziegler: I was going to say "poker" because ESPN seems to believe that's a sport.

Otherwise, I'd've gone with "bowling."


Why do you believe ESPN considers poker a sport? ESPN is not an exclusively sports network. It is the 'Entertainment & SPorts Network'. When it started there was much more entertainment coverage but sporting pursuits have since taken over most of the programming.
 
2013-01-28 05:35:54 PM  
I wouldn't vote for them into the hall of fame.
 
2013-01-28 05:58:00 PM  

blatz514: An anti-"biatch tits" drug,


I think I need to wear a stuffed bra and a hello my name is bob nametag for halloween.
 
db2
2013-01-28 06:13:51 PM  
I figured it was either curling or jai alai, so I'm pleased with the outcome.
 
2013-01-28 07:02:20 PM  

stoppit: Wazzup ... there's not the usual level of disdain for curling in this thread.


I was surprised as well.
 
2013-01-28 07:16:59 PM  
Meanwhile, his wife was taking aspirin (thinking it was her breast cancer medicine) and died of cancer...
 
2013-01-28 07:25:51 PM  
Holy carp... I actually guessed curling. I missed the wheelchair part, though.
 
2013-01-28 08:54:56 PM  
Curling was my first guess too.
 
2013-01-28 11:21:31 PM  
I said "curling"--I was so close!!!11!!
 
2013-01-28 11:28:20 PM  

Ablejack: Huck And Molly Ziegler: I was going to say "poker" because ESPN seems to believe that's a sport.

Otherwise, I'd've gone with "bowling."

Why do you believe ESPN considers poker a sport? ESPN is not an exclusively sports network. It is the 'Entertainment & SPorts Network'. When it started there was much more entertainment coverage but sporting pursuits have since taken over most of the programming.


I stand corrected. Thank you. I do recall, now that you say it, that the "E" did stand for that.

Now that my humility is out of the way, I contend poker is a really really dumb thing to put on TV. What's the matter, ESPN - no cooking utensil manufacturers or preacher charlatans wanna buy up that two-hour bloc??

My apologies to bowlers, too.
 
2013-01-29 04:40:35 AM  
So it wasn't LGBT indoor badminton......I was wondering why the crips were beating the bloods.
 
2013-01-29 05:49:00 AM  
I actually DID guess curling - just not wheelchair curling.

/Really want to try curling
//Could be my only chance to get into the Olympics
 
2013-01-29 07:20:53 AM  

brantgoose: Look at the way cricket has been taken over by South Asians, the most unsporty people on Earth. Dullness is a positive advantage. When it comes to cricket, Asians are whiter than white and duller than a night course lecture in advanced mathematics given in Welsh at the University of Caernarvon. They really put everything they've got into cricket, because they haven't got a decent basketball team in a sub-continent with well over a billion people in it..


You obviously don't follow cricket or know much about it.

Watching India play is indeed like watching paint dry. Cricket is a tactically complex sport of "Who Dares Wins", and India draws more Test matches than any other team because they usually don't have the balls to go for the victory. Fark India.

Pakistan and Sri Lanka are fun teams to watch, though.

Bangladesh can't help it that they're shiat. Bangladesh is what the New Orleans Saints would be if Lousiana got hit by a hurricane every single farking year and the Saints could only pick players born in the NOLA area. But with more poverty.

Who gives a shiat if the sub-continent can't produce a good basketball team? Basketball is a decent sport, but name me a single basketball great who was under 6'6". Where exactly would Diego Maradona, Lionel Messi or Sachin Tendulkar fit into any American sport?

Those guys are global greats because they have actual technique and skill, rather than just being born tall and muscular. Wayne Gretzky is the only North American sportsman I'd include in their category. Which actually does credit to your continent, seeing as North America only makes up 5% of the global population.

But hey, you Yanks have that seven-time winner of the Tour de France. And that Mark McGwire-Sammy Sosa home-run chase was pure awesome.
 
2013-01-29 08:59:30 AM  

RealFarknMcCoy2: //Could be my only chance to get into the Olympics


Don't forget the shooting sports. Some of those guys are magnificently paunchy and middle-aged.
 
2013-01-29 09:11:25 AM  
They need to do whatever it takes to give them a leg up on the competition.
 
2013-01-29 09:35:30 AM  

Trapper439: but name me a single basketball great who was under 6'6".


John Stockton
Oscar Robertson
Chris Paul
Rajon Rondo

There are lots and lots of guards under 6'6".

Trapper439: Those guys are global greats because they have actual technique and skill, rather than just being born tall and muscular.


I'd say that they're great because they're just naturally small, which is an advantage in soccer because your legs are shorter and it enables your eyes to be closer to the ball (easier to have eye/foot coordination), makes it easier to change directions in shorter spaces, etc.

It's pretty annoying when short people always have to pretend like "Oh, anything we do is because we're talented! Taller people were just born that way and aren't skilled!"
 
2013-01-29 11:29:59 AM  

IAmRight: John Stockton
Oscar Robertson
Chris Paul
Rajon Rondo


I've heard of that John Stockton guy. I believe that he had a partnership with some guy called Karl Malone when they were both playing for the Utah Jazz.

Mind you, unlike 95% of the world's sports fans I've actually lived in the US. Hell, I even have a vague recollection of hearing of that Oscar Roberts guy.

IAmRight: It's pretty annoying when short people always have to pretend like "Oh, anything we do is because we're talented! Taller people were just born that way and aren't skilled!"


Again, I respect Wayne Gretzky as a sportsman. His vision, pure reflexes, and speed of thought is what the other 95% of the world's sports fans who live outside the US look for in a sportsman.

I'll ask you again: which position would Maradona, Messi, or Tendulkar excel at in the NBA, NFL, or MLB?

Meanwhile, in the next few days, the US will be wondering if Ray Lewis is going to win a "World Championship" of a sport that nobody outside the US even plays.

media.tumblr.com

How absolutely adorable.
 
2013-01-29 11:34:32 AM  

Trapper439: I'll ask you again: which position would Maradona, Messi, or Tendulkar excel at in the NBA, NFL, or MLB?


What does that have to do with anything?

Trapper439: Meanwhile, in the next few days, the US will be wondering if Ray Lewis is going to win a "World Championship" of a sport that nobody outside the US even plays.


Ugh, this annoying crap again.

a) people outside the US do play
b) can't really argue that it's the world championship if no one else has a league, either
 
2013-01-29 11:35:08 AM  
Correction: Can't argue that it's NOT the world championship if no one else has a league.
 
2013-01-29 11:50:54 AM  

IAmRight: Trapper439: I'll ask you again: which position would Maradona, Messi, or Tendulkar excel at in the NBA, NFL, or MLB?

What does that have to do with anything?


Skill.

I get it, US sports don't place an emphasis on skill. Some asshole who can't even tie his own shoelaces gets born to be 8'3" and 450 pounds? First round draft pick and future Hall of Famer... He'll never have to anything more skilfull than catch a ball and he'll still be a legend.

IAmRight: Correction: Can't argue that it's NOT the world championship if no one else has a league.


The All-Ireland Gaelic Football champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Gaelic Football.

The Indian Kabaddi champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Kabaddi.

The US calling the winners of the NFL, NBA, and MLB "World Champions" is simply farking retarded. Sorry if that offends you.
 
2013-01-29 11:57:36 AM  

Trapper439: Skill.

I get it, US sports don't place an emphasis on skill.


I get it, you think that skill is something only little people have. You're stupid enough to think that height makes you good at basketball.

Trapper439: Some asshole who can't even tie his own shoelaces gets born to be 8'3" and 450 pounds? First round draft pick and future Hall of Famer... He'll never have to anything more skilfull than catch a ball and he'll still be a legend.


Yup, that's all every sport is. And soccer is just kicking a ball.

Trapper439: The Indian Kabaddi champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Kabaddi.


No one really cares what they call themselves. They could call themselves the Champions of the Universe and we wouldn't really feel the need to talk sh*t about it because it that doesn't befront us any. But if you're a pathetic fan of other sports, then you have to get all upset about what other leagues call their champion. Who the f*ck cares? They can call themselves "Lords and Masters of all of Existence" and it really doesn't affect you at all. Yet you get mad about it and bring it up like it means something.
 
2013-01-29 12:45:02 PM  

Trapper439: IAmRight: Trapper439: I'll ask you again: which position would Maradona, Messi, or Tendulkar excel at in the NBA, NFL, or MLB?

What does that have to do with anything?

Skill.

I get it, US sports don't place an emphasis on skill. Some asshole who can't even tie his own shoelaces gets born to be 8'3" and 450 pounds? First round draft pick and future Hall of Famer... He'll never have to anything more skilfull than catch a ball and he'll still be a legend.

IAmRight: Correction: Can't argue that it's NOT the world championship if no one else has a league.

The All-Ireland Gaelic Football champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Gaelic Football.

The Indian Kabaddi champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Kabaddi.

The US calling the winners of the NFL, NBA, and MLB "World Champions" is simply farking retarded. Sorry if that offends you.


The Miss Universe contest must really put treacle in your knickers
 
2013-01-29 01:03:39 PM  

Trapper439: The US calling the winners of the NFL, NBA, and MLB "World Champions" is simply farking retarded.


Oh, and since we have all of the best players of those sports in the world in those leagues, it's no dumber than any World Cup (which doesn't include every single nation! Therefore it's a sham!).
 
2013-01-29 01:28:32 PM  

IAmRight: Trapper439: The US calling the winners of the NFL, NBA, and MLB "World Champions" is simply farking retarded.

Oh, and since we have all of the best players of those sports in the world in those leagues, it's no dumber than any World Cup (which doesn't include every single nation! Therefore it's a sham!).


You know what's most exciting about the Olympics as a yank? Watching America rack up gold medals in sports we don't give a fark about, cramming a banger down the gobs of louts that want to believe that just because Americans don't have time for FIFA we don't have great athletes. Between the seasons for mlb, the NBA, the NHL, and the NFL, leaving out college variants of same, plus so help me god NASCAR, we're a little stocked up on sporting events.
 
2013-01-29 01:50:22 PM  
Name me a single soccer great over 6'4". (and most of the greats historically are between 5'6"-5'10")

Why does soccer reward people for being short?

/hopefully you have more than I lazily came up with off the top of my head for basketball players under 6'6"
 
2013-01-29 02:15:57 PM  
I seem to have hit a nerve here.

Fano: You know what's most exciting about the Olympics as a yank? Watching America rack up gold medals in sports we don't give a fark about, cramming a banger down the gobs of louts that want to believe that just because Americans don't have time for FIFA we don't have great athletes. Between the seasons for mlb, the NBA, the NHL, and the NFL, leaving out college variants of same, plus so help me god NASCAR, we're a little stocked up on sporting events.


And you know what's funny as a non-American?

Watching the US relay track teams (at least back in the days when they weren't getting their collective asses blasted off the track by Jamaica) holding up the next event by ten minutes as they carry around US flags chest-thumping and shouting "you da man" at each other.

You do realise that the US is never even close to leading the Olympic medal tally on a per-capita basis, right?
 
2013-01-29 02:23:38 PM  

Trapper439: IAmRight: Trapper439: I'll ask you again: which position would Maradona, Messi, or Tendulkar excel at in the NBA, NFL, or MLB?

What does that have to do with anything?

Skill.

I get it, US sports don't place an emphasis on skill. Some asshole who can't even tie his own shoelaces gets born to be 8'3" and 450 pounds? First round draft pick and future Hall of Famer... He'll never have to anything more skilfull than catch a ball and he'll still be a legend.

IAmRight: Correction: Can't argue that it's NOT the world championship if no one else has a league.

The All-Ireland Gaelic Football champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Gaelic Football.

The Indian Kabaddi champions don't call themselves the "World Champions" of Kabaddi.

The US calling the winners of the NFL, NBA, and MLB "World Champions" is simply farking retarded. Sorry if that offends you.


i.imgur.com

TRY AND STOP US.
 
2013-01-29 02:58:28 PM  

Trapper439: I seem to have hit a nerve here.

Fano: You know what's most exciting about the Olympics as a yank? Watching America rack up gold medals in sports we don't give a fark about, cramming a banger down the gobs of louts that want to believe that just because Americans don't have time for FIFA we don't have great athletes. Between the seasons for mlb, the NBA, the NHL, and the NFL, leaving out college variants of same, plus so help me god NASCAR, we're a little stocked up on sporting events.

And you know what's funny as a non-American?

Watching the US relay track teams (at least back in the days when they weren't getting their collective asses blasted off the track by Jamaica) holding up the next event by ten minutes as they carry around US flags chest-thumping and shouting "you da man" at each other.

You do realise that the US is never even close to leading the Olympic medal tally on a per-capita basis, right?


Lol, that's cute throwing that weaselly "per capita" phrase in there. By that measure Sealand is a perennial power.
 
2013-01-29 03:07:08 PM  

Trapper439: I seem to have hit a nerve here.

And you know what's funny as a non-American?


your blithe hatred of all American sports.

it's painfully obvious that this is 99% jealousy. I read your profile, I probably agree with you 75% of the time. but this silliness is nothing more than entertainment. none of your citations or arguments prove anything other than your irrational disdain for American sports (and the accompanied hubris).
 
2013-01-29 03:22:19 PM  
Yanks play hand egg, their arguments are invalid.
 
2013-01-29 03:30:10 PM  

The Flexecutioner: Trapper439: I seem to have hit a nerve here.

And you know what's funny as a non-American?


your blithe hatred of all American sports.

it's painfully obvious that this is 99% jealousy. I read your profile, I probably agree with you 75% of the time. but this silliness is nothing more than entertainment. none of your citations or arguments prove anything other than your irrational disdain for American sports (and the accompanied hubris).


I'm just having some fun, mate.

I don't go into threads about American sports and ridicule them.

I just respond when Americans come into threads about non-American sports and ridicule them. I'll concede that this was a borderline case.

For example, I won't be posting on the upcoming thread about your Superb Owl thingy a few days from now, because it's none of my business.

Everyone who posted in this thread was fair game, though.
 
2013-01-29 03:43:12 PM  
To summarize, you white knighted wheelchair curling because Canadians?
 
2013-01-29 04:10:22 PM  

theurge14: To summarize, you white knighted wheelchair curling because Canadians?


No. brantgoose brought up cricket for no apparent reason and said that the only reason Asians are into it is because they can't field a decent basketball team. I wondered why the fark they would even want to field a basketball team, and pointed out that I find it amusing that you Americans call your domestic champions of sports that basically nobody else really plays "World Champions".
 
2013-01-29 05:35:40 PM  
Our domestic champions of sports:

NFL: After the Super Bowl, the Super Bowl Champions are awarded the Vince Lombardi Trophy
MLB: After the World Series, the World Series Champions are awarded the Commissioner's Trophy
NBA: After the NBA Finals, the NBA Champions are awarded the O'Brien Championship Trophy
NHL: After the Stanley Cup Finals, the NHL Champions are awarded the Stanley Cup.
MLS: After the MLS Cup Finals, the MLS Champions are awarded the Phillip F. Anschutz Trophy

I know some snarky non-Americans get all hung up on "World Series", but the name came out of the depths of a murky dark baseball past in the late 1880s and after time it's just a name that stuck. Like I'm not going to tell some mother not to name her only kid Thomas because it's an Aramaic epithet for "twin" and he's not a twin. Of course, unless I wanted to be a pedantic smartarse, so yeah.
 
2013-01-29 05:45:44 PM  
And if we're talking about "sports that nobody plays", I enjoy hearing how "nobody" but the US plays baseball as if Canada, Japan, Cuba, Japan, Mexico, Dominican Republic, Venezuela and don't exist, but then when cricket is said to be played "everywhere else in the world" that means the Indian subcontinent, the South Africans and the Aussies are everywhere in the world.
 
2013-01-30 12:35:49 PM  

theurge14: Our domestic champions of sports:

NFL: After the Super Bowl, the Super Bowl Champions are awarded the Vince Lombardi Trophy.


Care to point out to me where the Vince Lombardi Trophy is mentioned on any of these? And that's just the first few pics that come up from a GIS of "Super Bowl Ring".

l2.yimg.com
p2.trrsf.com
www.thechampionshiprings.com

When you claim that the NFL doesn't call it's Super Bowl winners "World Champions" you insult both of our intelligences.

theurge14: I know some snarky non-Americans get all hung up on "World Series", but the name came out of the depths of a murky dark baseball past in the late 1880s and after time it's just a name that stuck.


No.

Link
 
2013-01-30 01:45:58 PM  

Trapper439: theurge14:

theurge14: I know some snarky non-Americans get all hung up on "World Series", but the name came out of the depths of a murky dark baseball past in the late 1880s and after time it's just a name that stuck.

No.

Link


Actually yes, from the very article you cited. The "murky depths" had nothing to do with (and rightfully unmentioned by theurge14) The New York World newspaper. The National League didnt give the American League any legitimacy for the duration of their early efforts and trying to hammer out deals with a championship series. And after several tries to little fanfare in the 1880s they shelved the idea until the American League gained enough ground and respect to resurrect a formal series type championship in 1903. They just borrowed the name from their earlier tries. So yes, that is a murky history. Being named after a newspaper wouldnt even be murky to begin with. So thanks for proving his point.
 
2013-01-31 09:54:43 AM  
The Flexecutioner:  The National League didnt give the American League any legitimacy for the duration of their early efforts and trying to hammer out deals with a championship series. And after several tries to little fanfare in the 1880s they shelved the idea until the American League gained enough ground and respect to resurrect a formal series type championship in 1903.

I care as much about the distinction between the American and National baseball leagues as I care about the distinction between Protestants, Catholics, Muslims, and any and all of the other stupid religious sects you might mention.

Cricket is a much better sport than baseball no matter how you cut it. That's why it's the second most popular sport on the planet, and baseball by comparison is a backwater sport played by virtually nobody.

But thanks for playing.
 
2013-01-31 10:00:07 AM  
PS I think it's awsome that you think you're a better fact checker than Snopes. You go, girl!
 
2013-01-31 11:07:03 AM  

Trapper439: I care as much about the distinction between the American and National baseball leagues as I care about the distinction between Protestants, Catholics, Muslims, and any and all of the other stupid religious sects you might mention.



you care about facts and solid argumentation equally, too.  cricket is only a much "better" sport in your mind because you choose it to be.  "better" is a matter of opinion and in no way can be proven as a fact, even if you equate world-wide popularity as the sole criteria.  your hate for American sports is again, obvious AND irrational since you have no real argument.  Cricket can and always will primarily be known as a chirping insect that keeps you up at night (and tastes yummy when fried, depending on your region).

and how my reiterating of snopes info somehow leads you to think that i think im a better fact checker than them shows your capacity for a solid debate.  enjoy your stupidity.  i certainly have, haha.
 
2013-01-31 04:30:33 PM  

Trapper439: Cricket is a much better sport than baseball no matter how you cut it. That's why it's the second most popular sport on the planet, and baseball by comparison is a backwater sport played by virtually nobody.


Ironically, the most popular sports are typically popular because the backwater parts of the world make them so.
 
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