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(Buzzfeed)   Fourteen stories behind Taylor Swift's ridiculous breakup songs   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 130
    More: Amusing, Taylor Swift, swifts  
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7835 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 28 Jan 2013 at 11:12 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-28 09:47:47 AM
Girl needs to ease off the serial dating. Either that or start putting out.
 
2013-01-28 10:10:26 AM
TL; DR: girl has serious issues and is unable to cope without having a boyfriend to drive insane.
 
2013-01-28 10:10:34 AM
"I won't give it up so they stop putting up with my shiat."
 
2013-01-28 11:15:18 AM
Wanna bet she's a lipstick lezzie?
 
2013-01-28 11:18:03 AM

LlamaGirl: Girl needs to ease off the serial dating. Either that or start putting out.



Does she really not put out? Is that the official line???

I mean, if she refuses to put out, then what the hell is the point in dating her?
 
2013-01-28 11:20:05 AM

doczoidberg: LlamaGirl: Girl needs to ease off the serial dating. Either that or start putting out.


Does she really not put out? Is that the official line???

I mean, if she refuses to put out, then what the hell is the point in dating her?


Yes, that is the story. She doesn't want to put out because she doesn't want to be seen as a slut, yet she dates anything with a penis that gets within 10 feet of her.

I think she might make a good death pool candidate in another year or so. Seriously a screwed up person.
 
2013-01-28 11:21:19 AM
Why do we keep greenlighting Buzzfeed links? Clicking a Buzzfeed link never leads to anything but misery.
 
2013-01-28 11:27:29 AM
One does not put one's dick into the crazy.

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" sounds more like the most delightful promise ever given.
 
2013-01-28 11:28:53 AM

vudukungfu: Wanna bet she's a lipstick lezzie?


Never thought of it. I am now though......
 
2013-01-28 11:28:53 AM
Why did I read that? I'm going back to bed an hope the real day turns out better.
 
2013-01-28 11:29:30 AM
After looking at the last entry on the list, I'm now convinced that Taylor Swift should do a cover of "I'm on a Boat."
 
2013-01-28 11:30:28 AM
That was the worst attempt I've seen at being funny since catching the last few minutes of Kelly and Michael this morning.

/Well, and this post
 
2013-01-28 11:39:25 AM

vudukungfu: Wanna bet she's a lipstick lezzie?


I DO keep hearing about her hanging out with her "friend, Selena Gomez...
25.media.tumblr.com

... and we all know Selena used to date that girl, Ellen Page (using "Bieber" as a code-name)...
t0.gstatic.com

So yeah, I could see it.

Or I COULD, if Mugato would make some room at the window...
 
2013-01-28 11:42:43 AM

Cinaed: One does not put one's dick into the crazy.

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" sounds more like the most delightful promise ever given.


Want to bet that the guy who finally breaks the seal is going to have one horny nymph on his hands?
 
2013-01-28 11:45:32 AM
Stories of Taylor Swift's behind?
I'm ready. Bring them on.
 
2013-01-28 11:47:35 AM

HotIgneous Intruder: Stories of Taylor Swift's behind?
I'm ready. Bring them on.


Super soft veins....
 
2013-01-28 11:50:28 AM

doczoidberg: LlamaGirl: Girl needs to ease off the serial dating. Either that or start putting out.


Does she really not put out? Is that the official line???

I mean, if she refuses to put out, then what the hell is the point in dating her?


I don't think it was all that well known that she was so prudish until after most of her exploits. It's only very recently come out that she does not have sex... At all.

If she wants to be the moral queen, fine, but she needs to find someone on the same page as her with that then and stop expecting to change men who she is well aware enjoy having sex with women, some men who have pussy falling all over them (The one direction kid).

She thinks she can change men. She is a grade A moron.
 
2013-01-28 11:52:34 AM

LonMead: vudukungfu: Wanna bet she's a lipstick lezzie?

I DO keep hearing about her hanging out with her "friend, Selena Gomez...
[25.media.tumblr.com image 425x594]

... and we all know Selena used to date that girl, Ellen Page (using "Bieber" as a code-name)...
[t0.gstatic.com image 201x251]

So yeah, I could see it.

Or I COULD, if Mugato would make some room at the window...


I bet they have sleepovers, and pillow fights, and have eunuchs for body guards that have had their tongues cut out.
Yep, I bet they are keeping it on the DL for a few reasons.
1) They like it and don't want to be bugged about it.
2) Neither of them want to commit to a lifestyle and have press conferences,
3) They are keeping their options open.

If they come out, then they get trammeled by paparazzi.
 
2013-01-28 11:55:22 AM

vudukungfu: If they come out, then they get trammeled by paparazzi.


That's why I ain't sharing the pictures with NOBODY.

If I had them, I mean.
 
2013-01-28 11:56:51 AM

GAT_00: TL; DR: girl has serious issues and is unable to cope without having a boyfriend to drive insane.


I have a close friend who is like this. She is absolutely unable to deal with normal life when single and all she does is whine about how single she is. She doesn't even like half the guys she dates, she just hates showing up to social gatherings alone. Pretty farkin' sad.

/Cute redhead too, but I must remind myself about never sticking my dick in crazy.
 
2013-01-28 11:58:46 AM
#4. A "weird look" from a McCoffee Barrista results in a song about bullying. ("...Big enough where you can't hit me...")

I suddenly get the feeling that her ex-boyfriends are a lot more innocuous than the images she tries to craft. She is a "perfect storm" of crazy.

1) Stunningly pretty.
2) Neurotically, hyperbolically over-reactive.
3) Purportedly frigid(?)
4) Petty and vindictive.
5) In vogue, giving her an easy venue for widespread airing of her imagined grievances.
 
2013-01-28 11:58:56 AM
I couldn't give a flying fark about her music or her sexual escapades(or not) , i think she is very pretty and I like to look at pictures and videos of her, and if I was thirty years younger I would not object to her being on my arm.
 
2013-01-28 11:58:58 AM

LlamaGirl: doczoidberg: LlamaGirl: Girl needs to ease off the serial dating. Either that or start putting out.


Does she really not put out? Is that the official line???

I mean, if she refuses to put out, then what the hell is the point in dating her?

I don't think it was all that well known that she was so prudish until after most of her exploits. It's only very recently come out that she does not have sex... At all.

If she wants to be the moral queen, fine, but she needs to find someone on the same page as her with that then and stop expecting to change men who she is well aware enjoy having sex with women, some men who have pussy falling all over them (The one direction kid).

She thinks she can change men. She is a grade A moron.


Thinking they can change men is the equivalent to the Gordian knot or Fermat's last theorem for chicks. Every last one of them thinks they have the solution. So far, none in history have succeeded
 
2013-01-28 12:09:49 PM

vudukungfu: Wanna bet she's a lipstick lezzie?


I wouldn't be surprised if these weren't Hollywood PR relationships. I very much doubt she's actually dated all of these men but the implication that she has makes for good gossip and record sales. Considering one guy came forward and said she wouldn't have sex with him - she only wanted to act like a couple in public - I'm not betting on lesbianism.
 
2013-01-28 12:11:51 PM

LlamaGirl: doczoidberg: LlamaGirl: Girl needs to ease off the serial dating. Either that or start putting out.


Does she really not put out? Is that the official line???

I mean, if she refuses to put out, then what the hell is the point in dating her?

I don't think it was all that well known that she was so prudish until after most of her exploits. It's only very recently come out that she does not have sex... At all.

If she wants to be the moral queen, fine, but she needs to find someone on the same page as her with that then and stop expecting to change men who she is well aware enjoy having sex with women, some men who have pussy falling all over them (The one direction kid).

She thinks she can change men. She is a grade A moron.


Which is why I think her "relationships" are a marketing tool to sell music.
 
2013-01-28 12:17:13 PM
FTFA: This song is obviously about John Mayer. Specifically, it's about how Mayer pushed Swift to the edge by pronouncing "library" like "libary."

Well, ok, sure. I mean, I realize these are made up, but this one could easily be real. See also: "fustrating".
 
2013-01-28 12:20:15 PM

YodaBlues: Cute redhead too, but I must remind myself about never sticking my dick in crazy.


Dear YodaBlues,

ALL redheads are crazy. They just are. In some form or fashion, They're off track from the rest of society at large.

I, personally, would vigorously penis any cute redhead that was willing because sticking your dick in the crazy is incredibly fun provided you know when to punch out and when to dispose of that disposable cell phone.

/Is a redhead
//Is immune to redhead crazy
 
2013-01-28 12:20:28 PM
I can see what the writer was trying to do.

Unfortunately, these are only "Leno funny."
 
2013-01-28 12:21:02 PM
I would date her even if I had to wait 34 more years...
 
2013-01-28 12:24:06 PM

LlamaGirl: I don't think it was all that well known that she was so prudish until after most of her exploits. It's only very recently come out that she does not have sex... At all.

If she wants to be the moral queen, fine



Fixed for my fantasies.
 
2013-01-28 12:24:26 PM

Cinaed: One does not put one's dick into the crazy.

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" sounds more like the most delightful promise ever given.


B.S. Some of the best times I've ever had were when my dick was in crazy. You just gotta have an exit strategy in place.

/would wear my dick down to "asian" in Taylor Swift
 
2013-01-28 12:30:13 PM

Bontesla: I'm not betting on lesbianism.


I wasn't betting. To quote a great songwriter, "No one knows what goes on behind closed doors"
 
2013-01-28 12:36:18 PM

vudukungfu: I wasn't betting. To quote a great songwriter, "No one knows what goes on behind closed doors"



upload.wikimedia.org

Incorrect. This man knows.
 
2013-01-28 12:47:13 PM

Caelistis: vudukungfu: I wasn't betting. To quote a great songwriter, "No one knows what goes on behind closed doors"




Incorrect. This man knows.


Danny Phantom?
 
2013-01-28 12:48:41 PM

Celerian: Cinaed: One does not put one's dick into the crazy.

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" sounds more like the most delightful promise ever given.

Want to bet that the guy who finally breaks the seal is going to have one horny nymph on his hands?


Yeah...no....it never works out that way.

It always just turns into a series over-zealous awkward encounters that culminate with a trip to the ER with her having a UTI and breath stinking of Altoids.
 
2013-01-28 12:55:30 PM

Caelistis: YodaBlues: Cute redhead too, but I must remind myself about never sticking my dick in crazy.

Dear YodaBlues,

ALL redheads are crazy. They just are. In some form or fashion, They're off track from the rest of society at large.

I, personally, would vigorously penis any cute redhead that was willing because sticking your dick in the crazy is incredibly fun provided you know when to punch out and when to dispose of that disposable cell phone.

/Is a redhead
//Is immune to redhead crazy


I thought being a ginger made me immune to the crazy of the female of my species, for me though it made it worse.
 
2013-01-28 12:57:23 PM

Skarekrough: Celerian: Cinaed: One does not put one's dick into the crazy.

"We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" sounds more like the most delightful promise ever given.

Want to bet that the guy who finally breaks the seal is going to have one horny nymph on his hands?

Yeah...no....it never works out that way.

It always just turns into a series over-zealous awkward encounters that culminate with a trip to the ER with her having a UTI and breath stinking of Altoids.


Normally, I'd be with you 100%, BUT, that would all be worth it to see Swift's patented "surprise!" look when I first 'crossed the Rubicon'
 
2013-01-28 12:57:28 PM

Fano: Thinking they can change men is the equivalent to the Gordian knot or Fermat's last theorem for chicks. Every last one of them thinks they have the solution. So far, none in history have succeeded


Andrew Wiles has something to say about that.

Yes I just dropped some math knowledge into your Taylor Swift thread.

LlamaGirl: I don't think it was all that well known that she was so prudish until after most of her exploits. It's only very recently come out that she does not have sex... At all.


Inside the mind of Taytay: "I don't want to have sex with anyone. I will date one of the most infamously lecherous singers of the decade and expect him to be perfectly happy not having sex with me."
 
2013-01-28 12:57:58 PM
Went to Taylor Swift concert thread and psychiatry conference broke out
 
2013-01-28 01:01:31 PM

LlamaGirl: If she wants to be the moral queen, fine, but she needs to find someone on the same page as her with that then and stop expecting to change men who she is well aware enjoy having sex with women, some men who have pussy falling all over them (The one direction kid).


I think you're right on this. There probably are guys out there who would be perfectly happy with Taylor and she with them. However, they generally will not be the Hollywood types. She is the sort who seems to fall hard and fall fast, but it seems that celebrity encourages guys to be more in the player mold. I don't see the point in passing judgment on either type here, but I do think it's plain that the two types do not mix well.
 
2013-01-28 01:03:09 PM
Taylor Swift, as I've said before, is quickly becoming like the end piece of bread...

Every one touches it but no one wants to keep it....
 
2013-01-28 01:06:04 PM

LonMead: vudukungfu: Wanna bet she's a lipstick lezzie?

I DO keep hearing about her hanging out with her "friend, Selena Gomez...
[25.media.tumblr.com image 425x594]



Run, Selena, RUN!

/Ellen did better; so can you
 
2013-01-28 01:11:07 PM
I suspect she is really busy and doesn't have a lot of time for relationships, particularly with guys who are also incredibly busy. I saw an interview with Mila Kunis where she said she was single and would make a horrible girlfriend because she was so incredibly busy and I thought "Yep, she's probably right." I imagine the same thing goes for Swift.

Being famous and rich would also cause problems because you would be isolated from meeting new people, and would be suspicious of people's motivations, At an age when she would probably be going to college, attending parties and humping her boyfriend in his dorm room she is instead touring and recording and making personal appearances on nationally broadcast television shows and events. That has to fark with your love life.
 
2013-01-28 01:12:08 PM

Caelistis: vudukungfu: I wasn't betting. To quote a great songwriter, "No one knows what goes on behind closed doors"


[upload.wikimedia.org image 250x268]

Incorrect. This man knows.


Dude. I built the model when I was 12 in 68. It was the last of the entire series they put out.
I built them all. Then, I got older and interested in girls. So, with my new-found maturity, I took them all out in the back yard and blew them up with firecrackers and lit them on fire. It was a celebration of coming into manhood.
 
2013-01-28 01:17:11 PM

Caelistis: vudukungfu: I wasn't betting. To quote a great songwriter, "No one knows what goes on behind closed doors"


[upload.wikimedia.org image 250x268]

Incorrect. This man knows.


ghostradio.files.wordpress.com

Laughs at your purple monkey dishwasher
 
2013-01-28 01:17:28 PM
Im impressed with the level of hate for this girl who appears to have morals. You ever think that perhaps you could enjoy someone's company with out sex until you're sure they're the right one before putting out and avoid being labeled a slut?

Now don't get me wrong, I would fark that girl so good, the chorus of her next song would be her having multiple orgasms. But I don't see anything wrong with what she's doing.
 
2013-01-28 01:23:17 PM

red5ish: I suspect she is really busy and doesn't have a lot of time for relationships, particularly with guys who are also incredibly busy. I saw an interview with Mila Kunis where she said she was single and would make a horrible girlfriend because she was so incredibly busy and I thought "Yep, she's probably right." I imagine the same thing goes for Swift.


Yeah, if really busy means flossing with carpet fiber.
How busy can she be? I could (and occasionally do) write better songs hammered out of my skull.
What's she busy doing? Changin' clothes? Giving interviews? Endorsin Taylor Guitars?
 
2013-01-28 01:24:26 PM

Brick-House: Im impressed with the level of hate for this girl who appears to have morals. You ever think that perhaps you could enjoy someone's company with out sex until you're sure they're the right one before putting out and avoid being labeled a slut?


No
 
2013-01-28 01:31:49 PM

red5ish: I suspect she is really busy and doesn't have a lot of time for relationships, particularly with guys who are also incredibly busy. I saw an interview with Mila Kunis where she said she was single and would make a horrible girlfriend because she was so incredibly busy and I thought "Yep, she's probably right." I imagine the same thing goes for Swift.


Mila Kunis is now joined at the hip with Ashton Kutcher, and he's a very busy guy too.

So I guess she only doesn't have time for relationships when she doesn't want to have time for relationships.
 
2013-01-28 01:42:08 PM

Brick-House: Im impressed with the level of hate for this girl who appears to have morals. You ever think that perhaps you could enjoy someone's company with out sex until you're sure they're the right one before putting out and avoid being labeled a slut?

Now don't get me wrong, I would fark that girl so good, the chorus of her next song would be her having multiple orgasms. But I don't see anything wrong with what she's doing.


Because Fark personas are more promiscuous than any of us are in real life.
 
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