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(Washington Post)   Amnesia gives woman the body of a 30-year-old and the mind of a 13-year-old   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 205
    More: Interesting, I-81, migraines, heart attacks, Roanoke  
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32152 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2013 at 12:04 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



205 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-28 12:30:47 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [www.washingtonpost.com image 606x909]
Fun fact: It is not possible for a person to look anymore white than this.


upload.wikimedia.org

Agrees, fella.
 
2013-01-28 12:31:29 PM  
Mind of a 13-year-old girl? Where's her Sherlock/Supernatural slash fiction tumblr?
 
2013-01-28 12:32:53 PM  
When Shanananana woke up in her beautiful one-story rancher overlooking the quaint village carved into the periodic mountains, she saw dried drool on her chest. In the corner, she saw what had to be her shoes, though they were all chewed up, the leather torn. And her vagina smelled oddly of peanut butter. Out the window, she watched a Great Dane hunker and heave until the shiat then length of The Club steering lock she'd put on her car after she started faking memory loss to have more sex with the dog.
 
2013-01-28 12:33:47 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: kendelrio: /I'd hit it
//and feel guilty about it.
///for a while
/V a short while
V SLASHIES GONE WILD!!!

Roman slashies, no less.


Quick! Somebody call IXII, it's an emergency!
 
2013-01-28 12:37:24 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [www.washingtonpost.com image 606x909]
Fun fact: It is not possible for a person to look anymore white than this.


Funny, her name is Shawnda. Add one "a" and she's got the blackest name in town.
 
2013-01-28 12:37:48 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [www.washingtonpost.com image 606x909]
Fun fact: It is not possible for a person to look anymore white than this.


4.bp.blogspot.com\

Close.
 
2013-01-28 12:37:59 PM  

serial_crusher: She looks okay in the one where she's sitting on the toilet


I still don't understand what that picture is trying to convey.She's forgotten that you're supposed to pull your pants down before you take a seat on the shiatter? She can't remember to close doors? She took a wicked dump and her kid passed out from the stench? The photographer is a pervy creep that likes taking toilet shots?

I can't even figure out the geometry of that shot. How the hell is that house arranged? The placement of the toilet doesn't make any sense in relation to the bed. Is this Virginia, or R'lyeh?
 
2013-01-28 12:42:51 PM  

wambu: And this is different from the average 30 yo woman in what way?


She's slightly more mature than the average 30 year old woman.
 
2013-01-28 12:44:24 PM  
And this is different than the average male Farker how?
 
2013-01-28 12:44:44 PM  

spentmiles: When Shanananana woke up in her beautiful one-story rancher overlooking the quaint village carved into the periodic mountains, she saw dried drool on her chest. In the corner, she saw what had to be her shoes, though they were all chewed up, the leather torn. And her vagina smelled oddly of peanut butter. Out the window, she watched a Great Dane hunker and heave until the shiat then length of The Club steering lock she'd put on her car after she started faking memory loss to have more sex with the dog.


Started drinking early? Regardless, sorta funny.
 
2013-01-28 12:45:03 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [www.washingtonpost.com image 606x909]
Fun fact: It is not possible for a person to look anymore white than this.


Challenge accepted:

www.friendsofwebster.com
 
2013-01-28 12:45:18 PM  

gameshowhost: WTF, I'm looking for the opposite.


this
 
2013-01-28 12:45:59 PM  
One part of her memory apparently not affected - all those phone numbers for vanity photographers and which pocket she left her credit cards in 17 years ago to pay for them.

(i am sure it is a real issue here, but this story has "I want to be on Oprah so I can sell my book" written all over it)


i.telegraph.co.uk
Approves.
 
2013-01-28 12:48:09 PM  
OtherLittleGuy

And this is different than the average male Farker how?

Our amnesia smells strangely like gin and beer.
 
2013-01-28 12:51:46 PM  
FTFA: "Shawnda steadily deteriorated. She was prescribed more than 10 medications, but her symptoms grew and became more varied. Once lean and athletic, she was gaining weight and losing mobility,"

The person I know with MS won't take such medications. She's been diagnosed for over 10 years and not only has an even better job now but still at 40 has the needs-no-makeup face & luscious figure she had at 27. Dammit.

As for mental/cognitive impairment, she eventually realized she could do better than me. Hence the above "dammit."

IANAD, but apparently some people don't realize you don't have to take all the pills they want to give you. Sometimes they help, sometimes they don't, and sometimes they make things worse from all the blipping side-effects.

What she did do is become a vegetarian (for other reasons too), quit drinking (though she never really drank much or often), and started taking B-12 and flax oil supplements.

Her only real impairment, in the sense of "something that keeps her from doing what she wants," is that she can't walk for long distances without one or both legs and/or feet going so numb or wonky that she'll pitch right over. So I'm the one who takes each dog for 2 or 3 miles walks, separately because the 8 month old puppy is too boisterous for the 7.5 year old grump; so with walking 4 or 5 miles a day 3 or 4 days a week I'm not losing any weight but I ain't gainin' none neither. (She has other uses for her new boyfriend, dammit^3.)

MS does suck though. My great-aunt Bernice was bedridden for 20-odd years. Nobody told me if she was taking any medications for it (and I didn't think to ask, being a kid) but she died in the mid-'80s before some of these wonder drugs hit the market. "Faith healing" and being prayed over didn't help any though.

OH and as far as white-white people with MS goes it is more common in people of northwestern European ancestry. She cusses the damn Vikings that made such a mess of the British/Irish islands.
 
2013-01-28 12:52:19 PM  

medius: Lsherm: serial_crusher: [www.washingtonpost.com image 850x566]
looks a little old for 30.
She looks okay in the one where she's sitting on the toilet though, not that I'm into that sort of thing...

She's 38. I'd hit it and let her forget about it.

I'd give her multiples

/...clerosis.


Laughed. Windo pls.
 
2013-01-28 12:54:47 PM  

Fluid: It's often like that in cases of dementia. The oldest memories are the last to go.


Amazing how differently it impacts people. My father in law is exactly the opposite. He can't remember yesterday. He sometimes doesn't remember how many kids he has, and he doesn't know my daughter is his grandchild - but he can describe in detail many of his flights as an air force pilot in the early 1960s.
 
2013-01-28 12:55:41 PM  

spentmiles: When Shanananana woke up in her beautiful one-story rancher overlooking the quaint village carved into the periodic mountains, she saw dried drool on her chest. In the corner, she saw what had to be her shoes, though they were all chewed up, the leather torn. And her vagina smelled oddly of peanut butter. Out the window, she watched a Great Dane hunker and heave until the shiat then length of The Club steering lock she'd put on her car after she started faking memory loss to have more sex with the dog.


Best "Girls" fanfic ever.
 
2013-01-28 12:56:17 PM  
Eternal Virgin:

30 year olds are already granma material.

You know, there IS life outside of Bell County. Here in Lexington we even got a few Jews!
 
2013-01-28 12:57:47 PM  

StrikitRich: The One True TheDavid:

So, with the mind of a 13 year old, is she able to consent?

She didn't have the mind of a 13-year-old, i.e. maturity, she lost 17 years of memory and didn't remember anything past the age of 13.


One of these days I gotta find a video of David Letterman or Johnny Carson diagramming a silly joke.
 
2013-01-28 01:00:44 PM  

cynicalbastard: Brain too young.

Now me, I likes me experienced wimmens. If I were to ever blow myself up for a cause, I wouldn't want no crapload of virgins. Nosirree bob, I wants me a no-holes-barred, eternally 30-something in body and decadent beyond belief in mind, red-hot completely whorish trollope for eternity. Preferably redhead, but heck, I'm flexible.


I'll gladly take the brunettes you don't want, cousin.
 
2013-01-28 01:03:20 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-28 01:03:48 PM  
Glancing Blow:

Ex wife had body of a 50 year-old and the brain of a 3 year old.

Was she about 5'-nothing with blonde hair and shoulders slightly narrower than her hips? Called herself Rebecca but her mom called her Becky Lynn? If so I've been wondering where my first ex-wife wandered off to.
 
2013-01-28 01:05:16 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Prank Call of Cthulhu: Fun fact: It is not possible for a person to look anymore white than this.

Behold this pasty goddess:

[img32.imageshack.us image 478x640]


*googles missing link*
not bad, but Christina Ricci could give her a run for her money
 
2013-01-28 01:06:00 PM  
Sooo...she's still legal, right?
 
2013-01-28 01:06:55 PM  

Hilarity_N_Sues: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [www.washingtonpost.com image 606x909]
Fun fact: It is not possible for a person to look anymore white than this.

Agrees, fella.


lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-01-28 01:07:42 PM  

serial_crusher: looks a little old for 30.


She's 38 according to TFA.
Subby is an moron
 
2013-01-28 01:08:09 PM  

The One True TheDavid: Was she about 5'-nothing with blonde hair and shoulders slightly narrower than her hips? Called herself Rebecca but her mom called her Becky Lynn? If so I've been wondering where my first ex-wife wandered off to.


No, her name was "McGill", and she called herself "Lill", but everyone knew her as "Nancy."
 
2013-01-28 01:08:23 PM  
cdn2.mamapop.com

Couldn't possibly be obscure.
 
2013-01-28 01:09:06 PM  

wambu: And this is different from the average 30 yo woman in what way?


Less manhate than normal
 
2013-01-28 01:09:07 PM  
i49.tinypic.com
 
2013-01-28 01:09:43 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [www.washingtonpost.com image 606x909]
Fun fact: It is not possible for a person to look anymore white than this.


There's a spray for that

oi49.tinypic.com
 
2013-01-28 01:15:00 PM  
www.washingtonpost.com

"CGI is expensive, y'know!"
 
2013-01-28 01:17:07 PM  
No, really, you like it in the butt.
 
2013-01-28 01:17:08 PM  
lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-01-28 01:17:56 PM  

OtherLittleGuy: [www.washingtonpost.com image 606x909]

"CGI is expensive, y'know!"


is that the album cover of a new country singer?
 
2013-01-28 01:18:50 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: OtherLittleGuy

And this is different than the average male Farker how?

Our amnesia smells strangely like gin and beer.


GIN?!? That stuff'll shrivel your nuts. Real men drink Everclear from the bottle.
 
2013-01-28 01:19:33 PM  
www.movieprop.com
 
2013-01-28 01:21:10 PM  

Glancing Blow: Ex wife had body of a 50 year-old and the brain of a 3 year old.



Mine too, beginning in her mid-20s.
 
2013-01-28 01:22:34 PM  
Amnesia gives woman the body of a 30-year-old and the mind of a 13-year-old

Not sure if I should take a seat over there?
 
2013-01-28 01:22:37 PM  

serial_crusher: She looks okay in the one where she's sitting on the toilet though, not that I'm into that sort of thing...


i50.tinypic.com
 
2013-01-28 01:24:19 PM  
So she really likes twilight and 50 shades of grey?
 
2013-01-28 01:25:54 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-28 01:27:28 PM  
30? 13? I'm confused....do I need to take a seat right over here?
 
2013-01-28 01:27:55 PM  
If only she could forget how insufferable she comes off as.
 
2013-01-28 01:30:56 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-28 01:35:12 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Prank Call of Cthulhu: [www.washingtonpost.com image 606x909]
Fun fact: It is not possible for a person to look anymore white than this.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 334x400]\

Close.


i014.radikal.ru

Also close
 
2013-01-28 01:40:05 PM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: [www.washingtonpost.com image 606x909]
Fun fact: It is not possible for a person to look anymore white than this.


Challenge accepted!

farm4.staticflickr.com
 
2013-01-28 01:45:16 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: serial_crusher: She looks okay in the one where she's sitting on the toilet though, not that I'm into that sort of thing...

[i50.tinypic.com image 850x567]


Panties around ankles, but pants pulled up?

She forget how to dress, it seems...
 
2013-01-28 01:46:04 PM  
www.seanastin.com


Didn't see these guys in TFA anywhere.
 
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