FARK.com: (7558950) Lifetime Trekkie explains why he's butthurt over the Star Wars directing announcement. "I feel like J.J. Abrams took me out to the prom but left with the hotter girl"

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Lifetime Trekkie explains why he's butthurt over the Star Wars directing announcement. "I feel like J.J. Abrams took me out to the prom but left with the hotter girl" (badassdigest.com)		33
		More: Sad, J.J. Abrams, Star Wars, Prime Directive, Star Trek Fanboy

• • •

4588 clicks; posted to Geek » on 27 Jan 2013 at 8:14 PM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/7558950

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

Voting Results (Funniest)

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Redisplay/refresh voting results (Smartest or Funniest) or Return to comments

Kyosuke		2013-01-27 06:28:55 PM

10 votes:

Imagine the lens flares you can get from two suns!

DanZero		2013-01-27 05:20:22 PM

8 votes:

First Nerd Problems

Techhell		2013-01-27 09:45:09 PM

6 votes:

Infernalist: Honestly, I don't see the reason for the hatred for the new Star Trek. The whole premise for the original series was 'action' combined with a morality play where the emotional(McCoy) clashes with the logical(Spock) with Kirk in the middle to weigh both sides and then save the farking day somehow or another.

Pretty much what I saw in the last Star Trek movie. All three sides of the equation were nailed by their respective actors and I look forward to seeing what they do with the next movie.

Wait, there was a morality conflict between Spock and McCoy in Star Trek 2009? Was it more than just four lines for each character? Or was it something like:

Spock: "Ensign Kirk, we must pause to consider the logical conclusions to this potential action."
McCoy: "Damn your Vulcan logic!"
Uhura: *strikes a sexy pose while rolling her eyes and shaking her head*
Spock: "Is there something wrong with pausing to consider the potential outcomes?"
McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not a Computer Programmer! You talk some sense into that pointed eared Vulcan!"
Sulu and Chekhov: *Look at each other in a way that says "We're totally not listening to this conversation and we're totally not gay.*
Sulu: *Looks back at Chekhov with a look that says "Wait, you're not?"*
Kirk: "Spock, explain to me the potential outcomes of our actions while we beam onto the Romulan ship and punch some Romulans in the face."
Chekhov: *looks back at Sulu with a look that says "No! I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, I'm just not, I mean, you're a very handsome man I suppose, and I'm sure most guys would be happy to be with you, but that's not something we do in Russia. Often. Um."
Spock: "A fascinating plan."
Scotty: "A fas'inating plan? Tha's wha'you're calling a fas'inating plan? That's a wee bit of a cockel-rup tha' me wee bairns canna come up wif!"
Spock, Kirk, Sulu, McCoy and Chekhov look at Uhura: "If any one of you asks me what I think you want to ask me, you better hope I go with Kirk and Spock so that I can kick Romulan faces in..."
Kirk: "Well, that's settled. Spock, you're with me. Chekhov, you have the bridge. Sulu, you look fabulous. No one ask Uhura to translate Scotty into English. Let's go!"

MusicMakeMyHeadPound		2013-01-27 08:39:24 PM

4 votes:

tallguywithglasseson: Didn't care for Abrams' take on Star Trek. Take existing franchise, make some winks to the original material, turn into dumb action movie.

www.hungh.com

/And nothing of value was Lost

Brick-House		2013-01-27 09:44:21 PM

3 votes:

Lifetime Trekkie explains why he's butthurt over the Star Wars directing announcement. "I feel like J.J. Abrams took me out to the prom but left with the hotter girl"

scarymotherfucker.files.wordpress.com

PENIS GOES WHERE???

mrlewish		2013-01-27 09:16:59 PM

3 votes:

dogboy360: Also:
NERD FIGHT ON!

3.bp.blogspot.com

Bith Set Me Up		2013-01-27 08:18:54 PM

3 votes:

Sounds like a Taylor Swift song to me.

t3knomanser		2013-01-27 08:14:01 PM

3 votes:

Honey, Hollywood is made up of whores. Abrams never really liked you, he just liked your money. Now he's got your money, and somebody in a Boba Fett costume is waving a roll of twenties.

Confabulat		2013-01-27 10:51:48 PM

2 votes:

mjbok: Chekov was born in 2245. Kirk was born in 2233. This is only for the original universe. It's not the relative age of the actors, it's the relative ages of the characters.

Ugh, well if it means so much to you that you've memorized the birthdays of the crew, then I defer to you. And may God have mercy on your soul.

hideous		2013-01-27 09:22:36 PM

2 votes:

oh good. I was worried people had started taking sci fi fans seriously for a moment, thanks for fixing that.

SquishyLizard		2013-01-27 08:33:55 PM

2 votes:

Could be worse: Michael Bay

BumpInTheNight		2013-01-27 05:08:27 PM

2 votes:

You really need to read that entire thing in Comic Book Guy's voice, is sooo much better.

Here, I'll get you started:
goodcomics.comicbookresources.com

Millennium		2013-01-28 09:23:38 AM

1 votes:

cptjeff: It's a great action movie. I'll readily acknowledge that. But in seeking out popularity, it lost its soul.

Dude, can you get any more hipster?

nulluspixiusdemonica		2013-01-28 08:18:23 AM

1 votes:

"The point I'm making is that, laugh all you want, Star Trek isn't just a show (and movie series and books and games and comics and bulletin boards) - it is a part of my life. I am closer to it than to some of my cousins."

Much like furries and those 'special' individuals who froth at the brain over My Little Pony, this behaviour should not be tolerated when exhibited by adults. It should be taken as a desperate plea for castration.

Star Wars/Star Trek/Who Cares... Its all mindless low-brow entertainment with all the cultural depth and entertainment value of a dissatisfying bowel movement.

viscountalpha		2013-01-28 06:51:33 AM

1 votes:

Ironically prophetic and still funny.

ShankatsuForte		2013-01-28 05:05:12 AM

1 votes:

I was actually expecting them to put Rick Berman & Brannon Braga in charge of the new SW, for some reason. Fark it though, As it's been said before, nobody can really fark star wars up more then Lucas already did, it's not like Abrams is going to unmake IV-V-VI and delete them from our memories, so if your panties are in a twist, un-bunch them with your Original Edition VHS rip you pirated, I'm sure the tape is all De-gaussed from what can only be described as tri-daily playbacks in the VCR. As for people whining about the ST Timeline, one of the movie's plots was resolved by rescuing a god damn whale. Your argument is moot.

IronOcelot		2013-01-28 03:55:43 AM

1 votes:

I hope the next Star trek movie takes more of the TOS material and gangbangs it in the back of the van like drunk prom queen.

Boojum2k		2013-01-28 02:57:51 AM

1 votes:

Shadow Blasko: Ishkur: Smeggy Smurf: legion_of_doo: Star Wars versus Star Trek... the movie!
Oh how cute, they have blasters. Mr. Worf, beam a photon torpedo onto their bridge.

"Aye sir, one photon torpedo, coming rig....ergh...gack....I...can't...breathe...."

*worf drops to the ground*

*booming voice* "I FIND YOUR OVERCONFIDENCE DISTURBING."

*entire Enterprise crew chokes and dies*

"all too easy."

Data communicates with computers on Star Destroyer... both agree that mankind is too sick to survive, and proceed to eliminate the rest of the humans in a robot AI revolution.

Reapers win.

Fano		2013-01-28 01:06:02 AM

1 votes:

Infernalist: mjbok: Confabulat: Of all the things to complain about, the age of the characters? WTF?

It's a valid complaint, and here's why:
Apart from the absolute ridiculous premise that a universe that is split two decades prior would end up with the same exact bridge crew, the crew all originally went to the academy, graduated, and had other ship assignments first because...they were all different ages. Now a person who is 12 years younger is in the same academy class? Kirk would have been approximately 26 (given four years at Star Fleet Academy) at the time he takes over as captain of the Enterprise. That means that Chekov is 14. In the altverse Chekov is 17 and a prodigy, which is why he is where he is. That means that Chekov's parents and their sperm/egg combination was exactly the same 3 years later in the altverse.

There are so many holes in the idea of who the crew of the Enterprise is in the altverse, but even if you can suspend disbelief to say that the universe did indeed split at time "x", all events prior to time "x" should have been the same. Like people being born certain places, or being born at certain times. Eventually it all comes back to the fact that the premise is profoundly retarded. The further (timewise) you get from a Genesis point of a time-split, the more differences there will be between the original (which did exist since Old Spock was still around) and the new timeline. This is not a mirror universe (lack of goatees), but a deviation of the original timeline. It is, at its core, stupid.

This post is a prime example of why, pre-JJ, people mocked and ridiculed the riduculous 'trekkies'.

You're so wrapped up in the minutiae of a series that had ground to a halt due to lack of fans...that you can't see the delights in a new Trek that brings in a new crowd of fans who don't care how the Enterprise is designed, or the paradoxes illustrated by comparing notes on exactly what was said three years apart in a comic book adaptation of a bad sc ...

www.samefacts.com

I was just asking a few questions...

Fano		2013-01-28 12:46:20 AM

1 votes:

Kazan: Fano: you mong.

you're a racist assbag, your argument is invalid.

Nice try, the people of Mongo are not subject to such human concepts, nor are mongoloid idiots. Did you think I was besmirching the proud Hmong people with that statement? Indeed no, I would not conflate any of those peoples with your foolishness.

MrEricSir		2013-01-27 11:42:40 PM

1 votes:

I still think they should have hired Woody Allen to do Star Wars.

cgraves67		2013-01-27 11:37:40 PM

1 votes:

It's more like he went to the prom with two dates while you stood awkwardly in the corner and acted all angst-y and mad that you got friend-zoned by both of them.

GreenAdder		2013-01-27 11:36:09 PM

1 votes:

Think of it like this:

A guy comes over to your house and breaks your TV. Twice. And suddenly you get a letter in the mail. It's from the guy, telling you he's tired of breaking your TV. He'd rather go over to a different house, because he found out they have a much more expensive TV to break.

Would you miss the guy? Would you feel slighted at his absence? Would you feel betrayed that suddenly you might have a different guest who treats your TV with care and respect?

ArcadianRefugee		2013-01-27 11:29:14 PM

1 votes:

elchip		2013-01-27 10:58:03 PM

1 votes:

Mike Chewbacca: tallguywithglasseson: Didn't care for Abrams' take on Star Trek. Take existing franchise, make some winks to the original material, turn into dumb action movie.

Star Wars IS a dumb action movie, though. So I actually have hope for the next movie because of this.

You raise a good point...

mjbok		2013-01-27 10:49:46 PM

1 votes:

Confabulat: Why is Chekov 14? Walter Koenig is the same age as George Takei.

Chekov was born in 2245. Kirk was born in 2233. This is only for the original universe. It's not the relative age of the actors, it's the relative ages of the characters. Just like how in one movie (not Trek) Sally Field played Tom Hanks girlfriend, and a decade later she played his mother.

GreenAdder		2013-01-27 10:35:51 PM

1 votes:

Your first mistake was actually liking what Abrams did to Star Trek. You should be glad he's moved on to a different franchise and will no longer be ramming his sans-lube hand into Trek.

Mad_Radhu		2013-01-27 09:51:57 PM

1 votes:

Techhell: Farker Soze: Techhell: /Agrees about Abrams' take on Trek - it wasn't a Trek movie. It was a dumb action-comedy that actively encouraged viewers to sit back, turn off their brains and just oogle the pretty action and the wittily forgettable one-liners.

What, like ST IV and VI?

Are you trying to say that IV was... an action movie? Really? Seriously? Nah, you're just trollin' me for a response. Almost caught me.

Also, The Undiscovered Country was a pretty thoughtful post-cold war movie that dealt with the challenges of winding down decades of hostilities. It is probably my second favorite movie of the pre-reboot Trek series, after STII.

/Bonus: Kurtwood Smith was the Federation President
//Benzites, leave

gunther_bumpass		2013-01-27 09:20:57 PM

1 votes:

dogboy360: Ok, I have to say it.
ST:TOS brought scifi mainstream. Without it SW never could have come about to become what it was.
SW did have an impact on scifi. It helped make scifi stronger in the non-nerd world. Now, scifi is all around us, and has several sub-cultures within it.

/BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise". What has SW got?
ST >SW. I still like both.

Yeah.. keep telling yourself that was because of Star Trek, and not a 200 year old Navy tradition. They may have gotten the ball rolling, but if Benedict Arnold had named his ship the Millenium Falcon, I think we all know what that shuttle would have been named.