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(Badass Digest)   Lifetime Trekkie explains why he's butthurt over the Star Wars directing announcement. "I feel like J.J. Abrams took me out to the prom but left with the hotter girl"   (badassdigest.com) divider line 211
    More: Sad, J.J. Abrams, Star Wars, Prime Directive, Star Trek Fanboy  
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4598 clicks; posted to Geek » on 27 Jan 2013 at 8:14 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-27 05:06:46 PM
The author went to the prom with someone who left with a hotter girl?

i can see that happening.  There are probably plenty of girls hotter than he is.

I still don't see anyone going to the prom with him, but perhaps I'm just being overly judgemental.
 
2013-01-27 05:08:27 PM
You really need to read that entire thing in Comic Book Guy's voice, is sooo much better.

Here, I'll get you started:
goodcomics.comicbookresources.com
 
2013-01-27 05:11:10 PM
Didn't care for Abrams' take on Star Trek. Take existing franchise, make some winks to the original material, turn into dumb action movie.

But off the top of my head, I can think of two (plausible) directors for Star Wars sequels that would be worse than J.J. Abrams: Zack Snyder and George Lucas.

//Lucas already shiat on his own franchise with the prequels, so I guess I don't really care who does the next sequels
 
2013-01-27 05:20:22 PM
First Nerd Problems
 
2013-01-27 06:18:25 PM
Waaaaaaaahhhhhh!
 
2013-01-27 06:28:55 PM
Imagine the lens flares you can get from two suns!
 
2013-01-27 06:46:13 PM
Dude needs to lighten up.  If anything, Abrams has shown he has a love of the source material.  I enjoy both Star Wars and Star Trek (though I'm more of a TNG guy)...and I'm sure both universes will be fine (so long as Lucas has nothing to do with writing dialogue for the script).
 
2013-01-27 07:46:24 PM
Suck it, nerd.

NERDS!!!!
 
2013-01-27 08:14:01 PM
Honey, Hollywood is made up of whores. Abrams never really liked you, he just liked your money. Now he's got your money, and somebody in a Boba Fett costume is waving a roll of twenties.
 
2013-01-27 08:17:16 PM

slayer199: Dude needs to lighten up.  If anything, Abrams has shown he has a love of the source material.  I enjoy both Star Wars and Star Trek (though I'm more of a TNG guy)...and I'm sure both universes will be fine (so long as Lucas has nothing to do with writing dialogue for the script).


THIS. My manager is a Olympic-level Trek and SW geek, and this news has left him downright tolerable for the last few days.
 
2013-01-27 08:18:54 PM
Sounds like a Taylor Swift song to me.
 
2013-01-27 08:27:58 PM
I was kind of meh towards the last Star Trek movie. I don't think Abrams can do any worse than Lucas, however.
 
2013-01-27 08:28:29 PM

tallguywithglasseson: Didn't care for Abrams' take on Star Trek. Take existing franchise, make some winks to the original material, turn into dumb action movie.

But off the top of my head, I can think of two (plausible) directors for Star Wars sequels that would be worse than J.J. Abrams: Zack Snyder and George Lucas.

//Lucas already shiat on his own franchise with the prequels, so I guess I don't really care who does the next sequels


I think Snyder might be able to do great things with Star Wars, though it's equally possible that he would make an awesome looking movie that didn't really work.

/Agrees about Abrams' take on Trek - it wasn't a Trek movie. It was a dumb action-comedy that actively encouraged viewers to sit back, turn off their brains and just oogle the pretty action and the wittily forgettable one-liners.
 
2013-01-27 08:32:33 PM

Techhell: /Agrees about Abrams' take on Trek - it wasn't a Trek movie. It was a dumb action-comedy that actively encouraged viewers to sit back, turn off their brains and just oogle the pretty action and the wittily forgettable one-liners.


What, like ST IV and VI?
 
2013-01-27 08:33:55 PM

Could be worse: Michael Bay


img.photobucket.com
+
img.photobucket.com
=
journal.georgetown.edu
 
2013-01-27 08:37:40 PM
Ok, I have to say it.
ST:TOS brought scifi mainstream. Without it SW never could have come about to become what it was.
SW did have an impact on scifi. It helped make scifi stronger in the non-nerd world. Now, scifi is all around us, and has several sub-cultures within it.

/BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise". What has SW got?
ST >SW. I still like both.
 
2013-01-27 08:39:24 PM

tallguywithglasseson: Didn't care for Abrams' take on Star Trek. Take existing franchise, make some winks to the original material, turn into dumb action movie.


www.hungh.com

/And nothing of value was Lost
 
2013-01-27 08:40:28 PM

dogboy360: BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise"


Yeah, but that shuttle boldly stayed on Earth.
 
2013-01-27 08:46:33 PM
 
2013-01-27 08:48:49 PM

Confabulat: dogboy360: BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise"

Yeah, but that shuttle boldly stayed on Earth.


Well, it did fly (just never left the atmosphere).
 
2013-01-27 08:49:00 PM

dogboy360: Ok, I have to say it.
ST:TOS brought scifi mainstream. Without it SW never could have come about to become what it was.
SW did have an impact on scifi. It helped make scifi stronger in the non-nerd world. Now, scifi is all around us, and has several sub-cultures within it.

/BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise". What has SW got?
ST >SW. I still like both.


To be fair, I REALLY don't see one of them being named "Executor."
 
2013-01-27 08:50:18 PM
Also:
NERD FIGHT ON!
 
2013-01-27 08:51:56 PM
Honestly, I don't see the reason for the hatred for the new Star Trek. The whole premise for the original series was 'action' combined with a morality play where the emotional(McCoy) clashes with the logical(Spock) with Kirk in the middle to weigh both sides and then save the farking day somehow or another.

Pretty much what I saw in the last Star Trek movie. All three sides of the equation were nailed by their respective actors and I look forward to seeing what they do with the next movie.
 
2013-01-27 08:58:28 PM
I like how the author complained that something didn't make sense in the movie. And the tv show did?
 
2013-01-27 09:04:57 PM

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: tallguywithglasseson: Didn't care for Abrams' take on Star Trek. Take existing franchise, make some winks to the original material, turn into dumb action movie.

[www.hungh.com image 500x331]

/And nothing of value was Lost


hahaha I'd forgotten about that scene, great one.
 
2013-01-27 09:16:59 PM

dogboy360: Also:
NERD FIGHT ON!


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-27 09:20:57 PM

dogboy360: Ok, I have to say it.
ST:TOS brought scifi mainstream. Without it SW never could have come about to become what it was.
SW did have an impact on scifi. It helped make scifi stronger in the non-nerd world. Now, scifi is all around us, and has several sub-cultures within it.

/BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise". What has SW got?
ST >SW. I still like both.



Yeah.. keep telling yourself that was because of Star Trek, and not a 200 year old Navy tradition. They may have gotten the ball rolling, but if Benedict Arnold had named his ship the Millenium Falcon, I think we all know what that shuttle would have been named.
 
2013-01-27 09:22:36 PM
oh good. I was worried people had started taking sci fi fans seriously for a moment, thanks for fixing that.
 
2013-01-27 09:22:58 PM

mrlewish: dogboy360: Also:
NERD FIGHT ON!

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x336]


That is WRONG on so many levels in this thread!

/Damn kind, stay off the lawn!
 
2013-01-27 09:25:21 PM

gunther_bumpass: dogboy360: Ok, I have to say it.
ST:TOS brought scifi mainstream. Without it SW never could have come about to become what it was.
SW did have an impact on scifi. It helped make scifi stronger in the non-nerd world. Now, scifi is all around us, and has several sub-cultures within it.

/BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise". What has SW got?
ST >SW. I still like both.


Yeah.. keep telling yourself that was because of Star Trek, and not a 200 year old Navy tradition. They may have gotten the ball rolling, but if Benedict Arnold had named his ship the Millenium Falcon, I think we all know what that shuttle would have been named.


Variant names considered:
Century Eagle
Eon Hummingbird
Three-minute Egg
 
2013-01-27 09:26:07 PM

gunther_bumpass: dogboy360: Ok, I have to say it.
ST:TOS brought scifi mainstream. Without it SW never could have come about to become what it was.
SW did have an impact on scifi. It helped make scifi stronger in the non-nerd world. Now, scifi is all around us, and has several sub-cultures within it.

/BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise". What has SW got?
ST >SW. I still like both.


Yeah.. keep telling yourself that was because of Star Trek, and not a 200 year old Navy tradition. They may have gotten the ball rolling, but if Benedict Arnold had named his ship the Millenium Falcon, I think we all know what that shuttle would have been named.


Point missed entirely! 1d10t.

dogboy360: mrlewish: dogboy360: Also:
NERD FIGHT ON!

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x336]

That is WRONG on so many levels in this thread!

/Damn kind, stay off the lawn!


KIDS, off the lawn.
/been drinking
/FTFM
 
2013-01-27 09:26:17 PM

Farker Soze: Techhell: /Agrees about Abrams' take on Trek - it wasn't a Trek movie. It was a dumb action-comedy that actively encouraged viewers to sit back, turn off their brains and just oogle the pretty action and the wittily forgettable one-liners.

What, like ST IV and VI?


Are you trying to say that IV was... an action movie? Really? Seriously? Nah, you're just trollin' me for a response. Almost caught me.
 
2013-01-27 09:41:51 PM

dogboy360: Confabulat: dogboy360: BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise"

Yeah, but that shuttle boldly stayed on Earth.

Well, it did fly (just never left the atmosphere).


There was also that whole Star Wars weapons program thing. Of course that didn't get into space, either.
 
2013-01-27 09:42:39 PM
FTFA "Imagine a bunch of CW actors running around an uninspired Enterprise bridge. (Joke that it looks like the Apple Store, joke that it's chock-a-block lens flares, it still looks cool.)"

The bridge was never my problem, the engine room was. I don't know what kind of look they were going for, but having what looked like 20 households worth of oversized clear household sewer pipe looked dumb as hell. What's all that water for? Why do the pipes need to be clear? Just for the scene with Scotty floating in them? Why so gods be damned many of them? Hell the engine room of ST: Enterprise was better than that.
 
2013-01-27 09:43:17 PM

slayer199: If anything, Abrams has shown he has a love of the source material.


If by love of the source material you meaning changing everything BEFORE the split to the dumb as hell altverse (ages of characters, where characters were born, the way the science of Trek works) then I agree. You hated how Lucas changed stuff about the Force? Wait until you see how JJ farks with the existing mythology. Don't worry though, he will tell you that he knows where it is all going and he isn't making it up as he goes.

Infernalist: Honestly, I don't see the reason for the hatred for the new Star Trek. The whole premise for the original series was 'action' combined with a morality play where the emotional(McCoy) clashes with the logical(Spock) with Kirk in the middle to weigh both sides and then save the farking day somehow or another.

Pretty much what I saw in the last Star Trek movie. All three sides of the equation were nailed


This is Spock being logical in TOS:
www.call-with-current-continuation.org

This is what Spock being logical in the new version is:
popreflection.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-27 09:43:46 PM
Infernalist
Honestly, I don't see the reason for the hatred for the new Star Trek.

Because Trek is supposed to be deep, thought-provoking social commentary exploring ethical dilemmas against the backdrop setting of optimistic high futurism, not shallow and forgettable action movies?
 
2013-01-27 09:44:21 PM
Lifetime Trekkie explains why he's butthurt over the Star Wars directing announcement. "I feel like J.J. Abrams took me out to the prom but left with the hotter girl"

scarymotherfucker.files.wordpress.com

PENIS GOES WHERE???
 
2013-01-27 09:45:09 PM

Infernalist: Honestly, I don't see the reason for the hatred for the new Star Trek. The whole premise for the original series was 'action' combined with a morality play where the emotional(McCoy) clashes with the logical(Spock) with Kirk in the middle to weigh both sides and then save the farking day somehow or another.

Pretty much what I saw in the last Star Trek movie. All three sides of the equation were nailed by their respective actors and I look forward to seeing what they do with the next movie.


Wait, there was a morality conflict between Spock and McCoy in Star Trek 2009? Was it more than just four lines for each character? Or was it something like:

Spock: "Ensign Kirk, we must pause to consider the logical conclusions to this potential action."
McCoy: "Damn your Vulcan logic!"
Uhura: *strikes a sexy pose while rolling her eyes and shaking her head*
Spock: "Is there something wrong with pausing to consider the potential outcomes?"
McCoy: "Dammit Jim, I'm a Doctor, not a Computer Programmer! You talk some sense into that pointed eared Vulcan!"
Sulu and Chekhov: *Look at each other in a way that says "We're totally not listening to this conversation and we're totally not gay.*
Sulu: *Looks back at Chekhov with a look that says "Wait, you're not?"*
Kirk: "Spock, explain to me the potential outcomes of our actions while we beam onto the Romulan ship and punch some Romulans in the face."
Chekhov: *looks back at Sulu with a look that says "No! I mean, there's nothing wrong with that, I'm just not, I mean, you're a very handsome man I suppose, and I'm sure most guys would be happy to be with you, but that's not something we do in Russia. Often. Um."
Spock: "A fascinating plan."
Scotty: "A fas'inating plan? Tha's wha'you're calling a fas'inating plan? That's a wee bit of a cockel-rup tha' me wee bairns canna come up wif!"
Spock, Kirk, Sulu, McCoy and Chekhov look at Uhura: "If any one of you asks me what I think you want to ask me, you better hope I go with Kirk and Spock so that I can kick Romulan faces in..."
Kirk: "Well, that's settled. Spock, you're with me. Chekhov, you have the bridge. Sulu, you look fabulous. No one ask Uhura to translate Scotty into English. Let's go!"
 
2013-01-27 09:46:08 PM

mjbok: Wait until you see how JJ farks with the existing mythology


He's not in charge of the franchise, he's just directing someone else's script. Disney isn't going to turn that cash cow over to one guy.
 
2013-01-27 09:51:57 PM

Techhell: Farker Soze: Techhell: /Agrees about Abrams' take on Trek - it wasn't a Trek movie. It was a dumb action-comedy that actively encouraged viewers to sit back, turn off their brains and just oogle the pretty action and the wittily forgettable one-liners.

What, like ST IV and VI?

Are you trying to say that IV was... an action movie? Really? Seriously? Nah, you're just trollin' me for a response. Almost caught me.


Also, The Undiscovered Country was a pretty thoughtful post-cold war movie that dealt with the challenges of winding down decades of hostilities. It is probably my second favorite movie of the pre-reboot Trek series, after STII.

/Bonus: Kurtwood Smith was the Federation President
//Benzites, leave
 
2013-01-27 09:55:33 PM

mjbok: ...

This is Spock being logical in TOS:
[www.call-with-current-continuation.org image 391x353]

This is what Spock being logical in the new version is:
[popreflection.files.wordpress.com image 790x444]


Abram's splinter universe is not the same as the original. things are different. Spock is a bit less in control of himself in this one, and given the circumstances it is even more likely that this was just a temporary lapse of control.
 
2013-01-27 09:57:39 PM

Mad_Radhu: dogboy360: Confabulat: dogboy360: BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise"

Yeah, but that shuttle boldly stayed on Earth.

Well, it did fly (just never left the atmosphere).

There was also that whole Star Wars weapons program thing. Of course that didn't get into space, either.


Ok, I will give you that. But Nobody wanted that. Even now, that was a stupid idea. Yes, there are defence contractors that are trying to make something like that work. But, it was a misnomer from the beginning.
 
2013-01-27 10:02:36 PM

mjbok: slayer199: If anything, Abrams has shown he has a love of the source material.

If by love of the source material you meaning changing everything BEFORE the split to the dumb as hell altverse (ages of characters, where characters were born, the way the science of Trek works) then I agree. You hated how Lucas changed stuff about the Force? Wait until you see how JJ farks with the existing mythology. Don't worry though, he will tell you that he knows where it is all going and he isn't making it up as he goes.

Infernalist: Honestly, I don't see the reason for the hatred for the new Star Trek. The whole premise for the original series was 'action' combined with a morality play where the emotional(McCoy) clashes with the logical(Spock) with Kirk in the middle to weigh both sides and then save the farking day somehow or another.

Pretty much what I saw in the last Star Trek movie. All three sides of the equation were nailed

This is Spock being logical in TOS:


This is what Spock being logical in the new version is:


I did mind that depiction of Spock, actually. The thing that people always forget about the Vulcans is that they embrace logic because they are walking around with constant low-level 'roid rage, and basically murdered each other all the time and burned the planet with a couple of nuclear wars before Vulcan Jesus taught them logic. Going batshiat after having Vulcan destroyed, killing his mother in the process, actually is consistent with the character. Pushed too far, he'd have a hard time using logic to keep those powerful emotions in check.
 
2013-01-27 10:03:43 PM
DIDN'T mind.
 
2013-01-27 10:05:22 PM

dogboy360: Mad_Radhu: dogboy360: Confabulat: dogboy360: BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise"

Yeah, but that shuttle boldly stayed on Earth.

Well, it did fly (just never left the atmosphere).

There was also that whole Star Wars weapons program thing. Of course that didn't get into space, either.

Ok, I will give you that. But Nobody wanted that. Even now, that was a stupid idea. Yes, there are defence contractors that are trying to make something like that work. But, it was a misnomer from the beginning.


The hell we didn't want it! And of course they called it Star Wars, you didn't expect them to call it "Death Star" did you?
 
2013-01-27 10:06:31 PM
If you're regularly tanking your own life by making obscure references to things on first dates and in corporate meetings, you really need a reality check. In business in particular, you have to speak to your audience, and this guy clearly doesn't know how to do that. I get it, he's a massive Trek dweeb.

I love Sci Fi, but I wouldn't bring it up in meetings with senior management of my clients. My company on the other hand, our tech partner had all our servers named after Vulcans. Trek references would hardly lower yourself in his eyes. Know your audience.

He's butthurt because he feels like somehow Abrams would have made more Trek movies a TV series? I find it incredibly unlikely myself that Abrams is going back to TV. Way more money in directing movies. With Roddenberry dead, I'm not sure I would trust anyone to do a TV series. Trek has a long history of tanking TV series. Enterprise could have rocked, but no, they wanted to focus on the temporal war and new races never seen in the other Treks (Denoblians and Suliban and crap).

Live action SW has never been on TV, and frankly is likely a better fit for Abrams than ST anyway. It's really more about the action.

Not sure where I was meaning to go with this... but basically holy crap francis, lighten up. It is just two entertainment franchises.
 
2013-01-27 10:08:57 PM

Kazan: Abram's splinter universe is not the same as the original. things are different. Spock is a bit less in control of himself in this one, and given the circumstances it is even more likely that this was just a temporary lapse of control.


Hence what I was saying about lack of respect for the source material.
 
2013-01-27 10:11:28 PM

Mad_Radhu: ages of characters


All the characters on TOS were played by actors right around about the same age, give or take a couple of years. McCoy was the oldest, as I recall. So what is the problem with them all being the same age again? We know Spock lives well into the TNG era, so there's no reason to assume he was older than Kirk when they served together. It would be weirder if they didn't. Chris Pine is in his early thirties; William Shatner was in his mid-thirties when he played Kirk.

Of all the things to complain about, the age of the characters? WTF?
 
2013-01-27 10:16:14 PM
I've kind of come to detest JJ Abrahms. Lost and Super 8 are the work of a carnival barker who teases you with a web of mysteries and then forgets you after you're inside the tent. Super 8, especially. I saw the movie and thought it was okay, but then later i saw the infamous preview that didn't say a peep about aliens -- it was a scintillating montage of mystery, nostalgia, childhood, magic, spiritual awakening, my god, what unfathomable secrets are buried in this film? It's so tremendous it would burn our faces like the Ark of the Covenant if we dared release it! That! What was that?!

...and then it turned out to be an alien. Kind of a cousin of Cloverfield. Blah. It made me mad. It was a scam.

As for his Star Trek movie, it was slick and fun but now i don't ever think about it and don't really feel like watching it again. Disposable. So now he gets to recreate Star Wars too? Both? That's too much power for one competent but visionless huckster. I don't like it. Oh, god, i can see him now, in interviews, rattling on about how "we wanted to streamline the Star Wars universe, kind of get away from all the mythology and tragedy, and create a new paradigm, something sleeker and hipper, more in tune with today's zeitgeist, with really sharp and penetrating dialogue... i looked at the lightsaber and asked myself, what really is it? Who made it? Probably some 11-year old supergenius from the suburbs of Coruscant, sort of a proto-Steve Jobs, a kid with a lot of spirit and snark, and that was the genesis of the Joe'h Baumer character..."

Maybe i'm wrong. I don't know. I just wish they'd given control of Star Wars to an older, more ponderous director. Ridley Scott or someone.
 
2013-01-27 10:20:30 PM

Boojum2k: gunther_bumpass: dogboy360: Ok, I have to say it.
ST:TOS brought scifi mainstream. Without it SW never could have come about to become what it was.
SW did have an impact on scifi. It helped make scifi stronger in the non-nerd world. Now, scifi is all around us, and has several sub-cultures within it.

/BTW, ST:TOS nerds had NASA name a shuttle "Enterprise". What has SW got?
ST >SW. I still like both.


Yeah.. keep telling yourself that was because of Star Trek, and not a 200 year old Navy tradition. They may have gotten the ball rolling, but if Benedict Arnold had named his ship the Millenium Falcon, I think we all know what that shuttle would have been named.

Variant names considered:
Century Eagle
Eon Hummingbird
Three-minute Egg


I would totally fly in The USS Three Minute Egg.
 
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