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(Patch)   What you say: "It's not me, man" What cop hears: "It's me. I'm guilty. Arrest me immediately"   (dacula.patch.com) divider line 71
    More: Amusing, Dacula Patch, Dacula, guilty  
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12045 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2013 at 2:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-27 12:30:42 PM
FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.
 
2013-01-27 01:36:24 PM
Go away from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.
 
2013-01-27 01:53:23 PM
The officer then dropped the handcuffs and drew a taser. Standridge still failed to comply with the officer's instructions. While Standridge was resisting and trying to pull away, another officer "leg swept" Standridge and, according to the report, the two officers "took him down to his knees in the grass where he could be safely handcuffed."

jobus-rum.com
 
2013-01-27 02:09:35 PM
later identified as Billy Standridge, 41, of Dacula,

i2.listal.com
 
2013-01-27 02:23:38 PM
Subby's agenda (based on the headline) and the actual substance of the article do not intersect.
 
2013-01-27 02:25:18 PM
farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2013-01-27 02:26:13 PM
On the day he was tried, no witness testified
Nothing but evidence, not hard to falsify
His own confession was a prosecutor's prize
Made up of fear, of rage and of outright lies
 
2013-01-27 02:27:12 PM
But it ain't me babe
No, no, no, it ain't me babe
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe

www.fishandcheese.com
Bob Dylan?
 
2013-01-27 02:31:52 PM
Upon questioning, Standridge denied having anything illegal in the vehicle and gave the officer permission to search it.

Never, ever do this.  Especially when you've been cooking and smoking meth in your goddamned vehicle.
 
2013-01-27 02:33:07 PM
It still boggles my mind that addiction is a crime.
 
2013-01-27 02:33:28 PM
That's a rough looking 41.
 
2013-01-27 02:34:16 PM

Dahnkster: But it ain't me babe
No, no, no, it ain't me babe
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe
[www.fishandcheese.com image 400x291]
Bob Dylan?


George Jung?
 
2013-01-27 02:36:18 PM
There once was a man from Dacula
Whose face looked worse than Dracula
He said, "It's not me!"
And hoped to be free
But ended up on his backula

/Dracula is tough to rhyme
//Should have started over
///lazy
 
2013-01-27 02:36:23 PM
All suspects are presumed innocent until proven guilty, in a court of Law.

/"Sir, is this your car? No. Do you gave any means of identification? No!"

//bad boys, bad boys - whatcha gonna do when they come for you?
 
2013-01-27 02:38:26 PM
www.american-buddha.com
 
2013-01-27 02:38:31 PM

slackananda: There once was a man from Dacula
Whose face looked worse than Dracula
He said, "It's not me!"
And hoped to be free
But ended up on his backula

/Dracula is tough to rhyme
//Should have started over
///lazy


images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Hidden Bakula macula.
 
2013-01-27 02:38:49 PM

thamike: later identified as Billy Standridge, 41, of Dacula,

[i2.listal.com image 401x300]


Naw, around here it's pronounced DUHcoola.

Georgia has some strange pronunciations. Vidalia is VYEdaylia, Dahlonega is DUHlonega (not dal-un-AY-ga), Monticello is montisello, on and on.
 
2013-01-27 02:39:28 PM

jehovahs witness protection: FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.


The bottle the cops found was for hydrocodone (Vicodin). You're probably taking Oxycodone (Percocet).

/just sayin'
 
2013-01-27 02:39:50 PM

KidneyStone: Georgia has some strange pronunciations. Vidalia is VYEdaylia, Dahlonega is DUHlonega (not dal-un-AY-ga), Monticello is montisello, on and on.


Yeah, they're hicks.
 
2013-01-27 02:39:53 PM
was Gary 'The Breeze' Essex the arresting officer?
 
2013-01-27 02:40:23 PM

txchad: It still boggles my mind that addiction is a crime.


Addiction isn't a crime, you libtard moran. Possession of drugs is. Driving drunk is. Smoking cigarettes is...not.
 
2013-01-27 02:40:54 PM

jehovahs witness protection: FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.


Holy sh*t your butthurt is worse than we thought.
 
2013-01-27 02:41:05 PM

txchad: It still boggles my mind that addiction is a crime.


It's not if it's a legal substance. I've been told by several people (when trying to get help for an alcoholic family member) "it's not illegal to make poor decisions".
 
2013-01-27 02:41:30 PM

thamike: [images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x307]

Hidden Bakula macula.


www.containsmoderateperil.com
 
2013-01-27 02:42:04 PM
I can sympathize with him. I hate it when other me gets me in trouble.
 
2013-01-27 02:43:08 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: thamike: [images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x307]

Hidden Bakula macula.

[www.containsmoderateperil.com image 639x338]


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-27 02:43:48 PM

KidneyStone: txchad: It still boggles my mind that addiction is a crime.

Addiction isn't a crime, you libtard moran. Possession of drugs is. Driving drunk is. Smoking cigarettes is...not.


...except in designated areas, such as parks, beaches, restaurants/bars and in some cities even your own home.

..just sayin
 
2013-01-27 02:43:49 PM
fc07.deviantart.net
 
2013-01-27 02:52:52 PM

thamike: [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 171x295]


img9.imageshack.us
Meth. Hydrocodone. I fear no evil will come of this.
 
2013-01-27 02:54:24 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-01-27 03:02:37 PM

thamike: Fark Rye For Many Whores: thamike: [images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x307]Hidden Bakula macula.[www.containsmoderateperil.com image 639x338]


Thanks for all the help!

Not sure if any of these are an improvement....

But almost broke his clavicula?
They picked him up with a spatula?
Proved as lame as Scott Bakula?
But was betrayed by his macula?
But wasn't as cool as Blackula?
But had to miss Count Duckula?
 
2013-01-27 03:03:29 PM
Never, never never talk to cops.

NEVER give permission to search your vehicle. Do not ever consent to a search or to allow police to enter your home.

No warrant, no entry. DO. NOT. CONSENT.

You will NEVER win. It is NEVER THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND YOU CANNOT EVER GET ANYTHING GOOD OUT OF CONSENTING TO A SEARCH OR ALLOWING POLICE INTO YOUR HOME WITHOUT A WARRANT.
 
2013-01-27 03:04:03 PM

jehovahs witness protection: FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.


Hydrocodone is Vicodin. Oxycodone is Perkocet.
 
2013-01-27 03:09:27 PM
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-27 03:09:45 PM

Asphyxium: jehovahs witness protection: FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.

Hydrocodone is Vicodin. Oxycodone is Perkocet.


And that is still a ton of oxycodone to be taking per day. I was prescribed four or six per day or something, after a surgery. I would have gone farking mad if I had taken all of those. One or two a day was *plenty*.
 
2013-01-27 03:17:55 PM

slackananda: Thanks for all the help!

Not sure if any of these are an improvement....

But almost broke his clavicula?
They picked him up with a spatula?
Proved as lame as Scott Bakula?
But was betrayed by his macula?
But wasn't as cool as Blackula?
But had to miss Count Duckula?


www.le-livre.fr
 
2013-01-27 03:28:01 PM
Billy Standridge, 41, of Dacula, sitting in a black Chevrolet Trailblazer and having what appeared to be a seizure

gifsoup.com
 
2013-01-27 03:31:33 PM
The only appropriate response to a cop is "Dave's not here, man!"
 
2013-01-27 03:31:56 PM
"OH, C'mon"
"give me a break"
"Do you know who I am?"
are not the magic words.
 
2013-01-27 03:35:23 PM

vudukungfu: "OH, C'mon"
"give me a break"
"Do you know who I am?"
are not the magic words.


"You can't prove nothin'!"
"I was applying ointment to my crotch rash!"
"These aren't my pants!"
 
2013-01-27 03:36:48 PM
You can't tase me.
Whatt're you gonna do? Arrest me?
 
2013-01-27 03:38:57 PM
www.fas.org
 
2013-01-27 03:46:01 PM

jehovahs witness protection: FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.


No one cares about your drug addiction.
 
2013-01-27 03:48:38 PM

offmymeds: jehovahs witness protection: FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.

The bottle the cops found was for hydrocodone (Vicodin). You're probably taking Oxycodone (Percocet).

/just sayin'


I've been on Vicodin twice, once after my wisdom teeth got taken out, and once after my eyeballs got moved.

Both times, I think I was twice a day, and that was when I was literally crying blood 24/7 for a week and a half.

/Also, I couldn't play the trumpet for 4 weeks because they were afraid my eyeballs would literally pop out, and I can still tell when I've been awake too long 5 years later because my stitches get sore, and my eyes start hurting again.
 
2013-01-27 03:50:59 PM

meyerkev: and once after my eyeballs got moved.


Serves you right for not paying the rent on time.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-27 03:51:57 PM
Another statement that doesn't work: "Off the record, I farked up." They don't respect the "off the record" part of your confession. (story)
 
2013-01-27 04:01:56 PM

meyerkev: once after my eyeballs got moved.


What the FARK?! How did this happen??
 
2013-01-27 04:02:42 PM

thamike: KidneyStone: Georgia has some strange pronunciations. Vidalia is VYEdaylia, Dahlonega is DUHlonega (not dal-un-AY-ga), Monticello is montisello, on and on.

Yeah, they're hicks.


you gotta problem w/hicks?
 
2013-01-27 04:15:52 PM
Meththinks Billy is in a bit of trouble...
 
2013-01-27 04:22:52 PM
Everything you say or don't say to the police sounds like "It's me. I'm guilty. Arrest me immediately." They have a sixth sense that allows them to determine your guilt,
 
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