FARK.com: (7558938) What you say: "It's not me, man" What cop hears: "It's me. I'm guilty. Arrest me immediately"

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		What you say: "It's not me, man" What cop hears: "It's me. I'm guilty. Arrest me immediately" (dacula.patch.com)		71
		More: Amusing, Dacula Patch, Dacula, guilty

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12001 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2013 at 2:19 PM | Favorite | share:

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jehovahs witness protection		2013-01-27 12:30:42 PM

FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.

Because People in power are Stupid		2013-01-27 01:36:24 PM

Go away from my window,
Leave at your own chosen speed.

Relatively Obscure		2013-01-27 01:53:23 PM

The officer then dropped the handcuffs and drew a taser. Standridge still failed to comply with the officer's instructions. While Standridge was resisting and trying to pull away, another officer "leg swept" Standridge and, according to the report, the two officers "took him down to his knees in the grass where he could be safely handcuffed."

jobus-rum.com

thamike		2013-01-27 02:09:35 PM

later identified as Billy Standridge, 41, of Dacula,

i2.listal.com

lostcat		2013-01-27 02:23:38 PM

Subby's agenda (based on the headline) and the actual substance of the article do not intersect.

jtown		2013-01-27 02:25:18 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-01-27 02:26:13 PM

On the day he was tried, no witness testified
Nothing but evidence, not hard to falsify
His own confession was a prosecutor's prize
Made up of fear, of rage and of outright lies

Dahnkster		2013-01-27 02:27:12 PM

But it ain't me babe
No, no, no, it ain't me babe
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe
www.fishandcheese.com

Bob Dylan?

Benevolent Misanthrope		2013-01-27 02:31:52 PM

Upon questioning, Standridge denied having anything illegal in the vehicle and gave the officer permission to search it.

Never, ever do this. Especially when you've been cooking and smoking meth in your goddamned vehicle.

txchad		2013-01-27 02:33:07 PM

It still boggles my mind that addiction is a crime.

MayoSlather		2013-01-27 02:33:28 PM

That's a rough looking 41.

thamike		2013-01-27 02:34:16 PM

Dahnkster: But it ain't me babe
No, no, no, it ain't me babe
It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe
[www.fishandcheese.com image 400x291]
Bob Dylan?

George Jung?

slackananda		2013-01-27 02:36:18 PM

There once was a man from Dacula
Whose face looked worse than Dracula
He said, "It's not me!"
And hoped to be free
But ended up on his backula

/Dracula is tough to rhyme
//Should have started over
///lazy

SoupJohnB		2013-01-27 02:36:23 PM

All suspects are presumed innocent until proven guilty, in a court of Law.

/"Sir, is this your car? No. Do you gave any means of identification? No!"

//bad boys, bad boys - whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Druid5		2013-01-27 02:38:26 PM

thamike		2013-01-27 02:38:31 PM

slackananda: There once was a man from Dacula
Whose face looked worse than Dracula
He said, "It's not me!"
And hoped to be free
But ended up on his backula

/Dracula is tough to rhyme
//Should have started over
///lazy

images1.wikia.nocookie.net

Hidden Bakula macula.

KidneyStone		2013-01-27 02:38:49 PM

thamike: later identified as Billy Standridge, 41, of Dacula,

[i2.listal.com image 401x300]

Naw, around here it's pronounced DUHcoola.

Georgia has some strange pronunciations. Vidalia is VYEdaylia, Dahlonega is DUHlonega (not dal-un-AY-ga), Monticello is montisello, on and on.

offmymeds		2013-01-27 02:39:28 PM

jehovahs witness protection: FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.

The bottle the cops found was for hydrocodone (Vicodin). You're probably taking Oxycodone (Percocet).

/just sayin'

thamike		2013-01-27 02:39:50 PM

KidneyStone: Georgia has some strange pronunciations. Vidalia is VYEdaylia, Dahlonega is DUHlonega (not dal-un-AY-ga), Monticello is montisello, on and on.

Yeah, they're hicks.

What_Would_Jimi_Do		2013-01-27 02:39:53 PM

was Gary 'The Breeze' Essex the arresting officer?

KidneyStone		2013-01-27 02:40:23 PM

txchad: It still boggles my mind that addiction is a crime.

Addiction isn't a crime, you libtard moran. Possession of drugs is. Driving drunk is. Smoking cigarettes is...not.

thamike		2013-01-27 02:40:54 PM

Bedstead Polisher		2013-01-27 02:41:05 PM

txchad: It still boggles my mind that addiction is a crime.

It's not if it's a legal substance. I've been told by several people (when trying to get help for an alcoholic family member) "it's not illegal to make poor decisions".

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-01-27 02:41:30 PM

thamike: [images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x307]

Hidden Bakula macula.

www.containsmoderateperil.com

numbone		2013-01-27 02:42:04 PM

I can sympathize with him. I hate it when other me gets me in trouble.

thamike		2013-01-27 02:43:08 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: thamike: [images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x307]

Hidden Bakula macula.

[www.containsmoderateperil.com image 639x338]

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

a61sun		2013-01-27 02:43:48 PM

KidneyStone: txchad: It still boggles my mind that addiction is a crime.

Addiction isn't a crime, you libtard moran. Possession of drugs is. Driving drunk is. Smoking cigarettes is...not.

...except in designated areas, such as parks, beaches, restaurants/bars and in some cities even your own home.

..just sayin

thamike		2013-01-27 02:43:49 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-01-27 02:52:52 PM

thamike: [encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 171x295]

img9.imageshack.us

Meth. Hydrocodone. I fear no evil will come of this.

Lanadapter		2013-01-27 02:54:24 PM

slackananda		2013-01-27 03:02:37 PM

thamike: Fark Rye For Many Whores: thamike: [images1.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x307]Hidden Bakula macula.[www.containsmoderateperil.com image 639x338]

Thanks for all the help!

Not sure if any of these are an improvement....

But almost broke his clavicula?
They picked him up with a spatula?
Proved as lame as Scott Bakula?
But was betrayed by his macula?
But wasn't as cool as Blackula?
But had to miss Count Duckula?

Cyclometh		2013-01-27 03:03:29 PM

Never, never never talk to cops.

NEVER give permission to search your vehicle. Do not ever consent to a search or to allow police to enter your home.

No warrant, no entry. DO. NOT. CONSENT.

You will NEVER win. It is NEVER THE RIGHT THING TO DO AND YOU CANNOT EVER GET ANYTHING GOOD OUT OF CONSENTING TO A SEARCH OR ALLOWING POLICE INTO YOUR HOME WITHOUT A WARRANT.

Asphyxium		2013-01-27 03:04:03 PM

FloydA		2013-01-27 03:09:27 PM

parahaps		2013-01-27 03:09:45 PM

Asphyxium: jehovahs witness protection: FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.

Hydrocodone is Vicodin. Oxycodone is Perkocet.

And that is still a ton of oxycodone to be taking per day. I was prescribed four or six per day or something, after a surgery. I would have gone farking mad if I had taken all of those. One or two a day was *plenty*.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-01-27 03:17:55 PM

slackananda: Thanks for all the help!

Not sure if any of these are an improvement....

But almost broke his clavicula?
They picked him up with a spatula?
Proved as lame as Scott Bakula?
But was betrayed by his macula?
But wasn't as cool as Blackula?
But had to miss Count Duckula?

www.le-livre.fr

UsikFark		2013-01-27 03:28:01 PM

Billy Standridge, 41, of Dacula, sitting in a black Chevrolet Trailblazer and having what appeared to be a seizure

gifsoup.com

AcneVulgaris		2013-01-27 03:31:33 PM

The only appropriate response to a cop is "Dave's not here, man!"

vudukungfu		2013-01-27 03:31:56 PM

"OH, C'mon"
"give me a break"
"Do you know who I am?"
are not the magic words.

UsikFark		2013-01-27 03:35:23 PM

vudukungfu: "OH, C'mon"
"give me a break"
"Do you know who I am?"
are not the magic words.

"You can't prove nothin'!"
"I was applying ointment to my crotch rash!"
"These aren't my pants!"

vudukungfu		2013-01-27 03:36:48 PM

You can't tase me.
Whatt're you gonna do? Arrest me?

Zemog		2013-01-27 03:38:57 PM

kazikian		2013-01-27 03:46:01 PM

meyerkev		2013-01-27 03:48:38 PM

offmymeds: jehovahs witness protection: FTA: The bottle was supposed to have contained 98 pills prescribed to be used at the rate of one per day.

I find this to be very odd. Percosets are for serious pain. Only one per day? My prescription is for 5 per day.

The bottle the cops found was for hydrocodone (Vicodin). You're probably taking Oxycodone (Percocet).

/just sayin'

I've been on Vicodin twice, once after my wisdom teeth got taken out, and once after my eyeballs got moved.

Both times, I think I was twice a day, and that was when I was literally crying blood 24/7 for a week and a half.

/Also, I couldn't play the trumpet for 4 weeks because they were afraid my eyeballs would literally pop out, and I can still tell when I've been awake too long 5 years later because my stitches get sore, and my eyes start hurting again.

thamike		2013-01-27 03:50:59 PM

meyerkev: and once after my eyeballs got moved.

Serves you right for not paying the rent on time.

ZAZ		2013-01-27 03:51:57 PM

Another statement that doesn't work: "Off the record, I farked up." They don't respect the "off the record" part of your confession. (story)

Atharaenea		2013-01-27 04:01:56 PM

meyerkev: once after my eyeballs got moved.

What the FARK?! How did this happen??

hackhix		2013-01-27 04:02:42 PM

thamike: KidneyStone: Georgia has some strange pronunciations. Vidalia is VYEdaylia, Dahlonega is DUHlonega (not dal-un-AY-ga), Monticello is montisello, on and on.

Yeah, they're hicks.

you gotta problem w/hicks?

Tsar_Bomba1		2013-01-27 04:15:52 PM

Meththinks Billy is in a bit of trouble...

oryx		2013-01-27 04:22:52 PM

Everything you say or don't say to the police sounds like "It's me. I'm guilty. Arrest me immediately." They have a sixth sense that allows them to determine your guilt,

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