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(Guardian)   You can become a British citizen as long as you can answer this simple question. What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 81
    More: Weird, multiple-choice questions, modern britain, Magna Carta, playing tricks  
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10589 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jan 2013 at 1:49 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-27 10:54:25 AM
African or european?
 
2013-01-27 10:59:48 AM
Oh, bloody hell! They asked me what the capital of Assyria was.
 
2013-01-27 11:02:35 AM
It should ask them if they know how to cook anything other than sausages or canned food.

"You can?  Come on in!  Don't worry about that Hadrian's Wall nonsense."
 
2013-01-27 11:05:44 AM
Up to 150 MPH

/in a hurricane
 
2013-01-27 11:11:31 AM
In a blender?
 
2013-01-27 11:14:51 AM
Where I come from , a laden swallow. She spits.
 
2013-01-27 11:48:25 AM
I used to periodically ask that as a bonus question on tests. Sadly very few people knew the answer.
 
2013-01-27 12:22:18 PM

SilentStrider: African or european?

 
2013-01-27 12:29:56 PM
Blue.

...no yellow


Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh....
 
2013-01-27 12:49:56 PM

SilentStrider: African or european?


Done in one, of course.

/♫ I've got a lovely bunch of coco-nuts! ♫
 
2013-01-27 12:58:26 PM
How about Spotted Dick? I can make a good Spotted Dick.

And when I say make, I mean, I visited one of your "ladies of the night" and now disrobing is like a bio weapons attack that hurts me and kills you.

There I know two British things, now what the hell is a quango.
 
2013-01-27 01:08:06 PM
Earl Grey, hot. And he was French. WTF?
 
2013-01-27 01:41:33 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: How about Spotted Dick? I can make a good Spotted Dick.

And when I say make, I mean, I visited one of your "ladies of the night" and now disrobing is like a bio weapons attack that hurts me and kills you.

There I know two British things, now what the hell is a quango.


Quasi autonomous non government organisation.
 
2013-01-27 01:49:54 PM
i1079.photobucket.com
Faster than the Speed of Love...?
 
2013-01-27 01:50:50 PM
leading edge, over wing, wingtip?
 
2013-01-27 01:51:51 PM
Sorry, I don't answer stupid questions from wannabe nazis
 
2013-01-27 01:53:20 PM

prjindigo: leading edge, over wing, wingtip?


And do you have to hang a coconut from the swallow under the dorsal guiding feathers?
 
2013-01-27 01:57:07 PM

SilentStrider: African or european?


What? I don't know that....Aaaaaa
 
2013-01-27 01:57:10 PM

SilentStrider: African or european?


I.....I don't know that.....

web2.clarkson.edu

AAAAAHHHHH!
 
2013-01-27 01:57:46 PM

FloydA: Blue.

...no yellow


Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh....


it wasn't yellow!!! you fail
 
2013-01-27 01:58:09 PM

ClavellBCMI: prjindigo: leading edge, over wing, wingtip?

And do you have to hang a coconut from the swallow under the dorsal guiding feathers?


He grasps it by the husk.
 
2013-01-27 01:59:11 PM
In Canada it's a test of snowshoeing, running a canoe down rapids, and building an igloo. And something about some guy named Laurier MacDonald Thomson.

/AND DON'T PET THE BEAVERS!
 
2013-01-27 02:00:48 PM
On the old Il2 Sturmovik forums, some wag put this up. Where aviation nerds and Monty Python buffs crossover.

i50.tinypic.com
It was named the Schwalbe.
 
2013-01-27 02:00:57 PM

SilentStrider: African or european?


That IS the correct answer.

As it turns out, the question is also standard in concession-stand job interviews.
 
2013-01-27 02:02:25 PM
African swallows are non-migratory, so they must be asking about the european swallow. I thought they would ask something about the watery tart that had a special sword.
 
2013-01-27 02:03:08 PM
The main thing I remember about a visit to the UK is a sign in a park that read, "Please don't worry the waterfowl."

Up to that point I was planning to ask the waterfowl if they had saved up enough for retirement, but then I refrained.
 
2013-01-27 02:03:20 PM
revised Strouhal numbers based on that study all lead me to estimate that the average cruising airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour.

http://style.org/unladenswallow/

This is a well organized website with step-by-step simple algebra and pretty wing-amplitude pictures.
 
2013-01-27 02:03:54 PM
CSB time:

I had an 8 hour layover at LHR so I decided to go see the sights. While passing through the metal detector I jumped through it in a dramatic fashion. It beeped and the TSA-equivalent drone asked me to go through again. It didn't go off and he said, "it must have been the silly hop", to which I replied, "is this the ministry of silly hops"? Apparently Monty Python wasn't a hit in whatever Caribbean island he was originally from.
 
2013-01-27 02:07:01 PM

syrynxx: It should ask them if they know how to cook anything other than sausages or canned food.

"You can?  Come on in!  Don't worry about that Hadrian's Wall nonsense."


Know how I know you've never been to the UK?
 
2013-01-27 02:09:05 PM
our national love of gardening and garden design and work produced by influential architects including Christopher Wren and Norman Foster."

Who designed the giant dildo as seen in this picture?

tourism2india.com

Correct answer: Jimmy Saville
 
2013-01-27 02:09:22 PM
And yet, despite knowing nearly none of the answers in the article and having been in the UK a total of 10 days in my life, I'm a UK citizen jus sanguinis.
 
2013-01-27 02:10:43 PM
New citizenship test will quiz people on all aspects of British life including comedy, music, history and science

If they didn't put in the comedy and music questions, only an immigrant could actually pass.
 
2013-01-27 02:11:07 PM

RedT: ClavellBCMI: prjindigo: leading edge, over wing, wingtip?

And do you have to hang a coconut from the swallow under the dorsal guiding feathers?

He grasps it by the husk.


It doesn't matter where he grips it!
 
2013-01-27 02:11:52 PM
fyi,  "quasi autonomous non-governmental organisation". quango.
 
2013-01-27 02:13:12 PM

meanmutton: And yet, despite knowing nearly none of the answers in the article and having been in the UK a total of 10 days in my life, I'm a UK citizen jus sanguinis.


I'm a UK citizen jus sanguinis, and I've never been
 
2013-01-27 02:15:08 PM

pjbreeze: African swallows are non-migratory, so they must be asking about the european swallow. I thought they would ask something about the watery tart that had a special sword.


The answer is "Great Tits"...I know all about Great Tits. ;^)
 
2013-01-27 02:15:29 PM

snowcircle: RedT: ClavellBCMI: prjindigo: leading edge, over wing, wingtip?

And do you have to hang a coconut from the swallow under the dorsal guiding feathers?

He grasps it by the husk.

It doesn't matter where he grips it!


Are you suggesting coconut migrate?
 
2013-01-27 02:15:30 PM
Baron - 3 seconds lol
/great minds
 
2013-01-27 02:20:01 PM
Only a spit achieves air speed.
 
2013-01-27 02:21:42 PM
It's not a question of where he grips it. It's a matter of weight ratios
 
2013-01-27 02:23:27 PM

ClavellBCMI: prjindigo: leading edge, over wing, wingtip?

And do you have to hang a coconut from the swallow under the dorsal guiding feathers?


No, no, you grasp it by the husk.
 
2013-01-27 02:24:01 PM
Ftfa: "Instead of telling people how to claim benefits it encourages participation in British life," he said.

Hey, being on the dole, you can watch a lot of tv and learn the answers to that stuff!

I would totally fail that test. Luckily I'm not tryin to become a brit.

I think it's funny that the dutch make potential immigrants watch two men make out and say "this is what you have to accept if you live here. We're liberals, get the fark out if you don't like it!"
 
2013-01-27 02:29:37 PM

SilentStrider: African or european?


And what if it's carrying a shrubbery?
 
2013-01-27 02:34:15 PM
the swallows from San Juan Capistrano?
north america has many types of swallows, just ask your mom
 
2013-01-27 02:41:18 PM
WTF is "air speed velocity?"
 
2013-01-27 02:41:46 PM
BURMA!
 
2013-01-27 02:45:01 PM

FloydA: BURMA!


Why did you say "Burma"?
 
2013-01-27 02:45:54 PM

b0rscht: WTF is "air speed velocity?"


It's what the swallow uses to travel a certain distance displacement by air.
 
2013-01-27 02:53:15 PM

Huck And Molly Ziegler: FloydA: BURMA!

Why did you say "Burma"?


I panicked.
 
2013-01-27 03:08:34 PM
Monty Python is not funny.
 
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