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(Gawker)   The three most outrageous lies about celery. "It's delicious" is the biggest lie, of course   (gawker.com) divider line 270
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19743 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jan 2013 at 9:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-26 11:21:27 PM  
stanadamsii:

Good point. I bet you most people who say they hate celery find cilantro "soapy" to the taste. I've only had that happen once when I had over acidified the guacamole, so it may simply be a tastebud sensitivity thing.

I have thought the same thing. My wife tastes "perfume" in some beers with hoppy character. At first I was kind of iffy on lavender in foods, but when it's not overdone I quite enjoy it. Incidentally, we have a running joke in the house. I make simple guacamole pretty frequently, which consists of avocados, onions, salt and fresh-squeezed lime juice, adjusted as it is being made to the perfect balance. I was showing Mrs Lionhound how I make my guac one night and I was explaining how there were subtle variations in the ingredients among my Mexican friends from the same family and Avacado region. A few of them like cilantro in the guac, and a few of them thought it was crazy. I love cilantro but I like the pure and simple taste of guacamole without it just as well if not better than with. So I told my Mrs. L. that I only put cilantro in the guac if I am feeling "frisky" that night. Needless to say, since that night, I can't help but throw some in now and again.
 
2013-01-26 11:23:43 PM  

ski9600: wildcardjack: The important thing about celery is to cut across the fibers. It's a general rule for things with fibers going in one direction, as the same applies to steak cuts and fajitas. If you cut the fajita meat vertically it's more tender than on the bias.
.

Really? I thought I had to slice fajita (skirt or in my case flank steak) on the bias and against the grain.
/claude's fajita marinade is awesome  Link


I think he just mixed up what on the bias means.
 
2013-01-26 11:24:34 PM  
All the celery haters line up to the left and all the fatties line up to . . . oh . . . everyone's in place? I guess we're done here.
 
2013-01-26 11:24:50 PM  

lordargent: Celery ... barely qualifies as food, it's mostly water and fiber and not much in the way of nourishment.

Fark Classic : what does 200 calories look like

200 calories of celery => 1425 grams of celery => 3.14159 pounds

You need to eat 3 pounds of celery to get 200 calories of energy!


it's actually negative food. you're going to burn more than 200 calories eating and digesting 3 pounds of celery.
if in a survival situation where all you had to eat was celery, you'd live LONGER by not eating it.
 
2013-01-26 11:28:00 PM  

HotWingAgenda: Gyrfalcon: Celery is not the worst vegetable ever.

Brussels sprouts, however, is the devil's food.

FTFY

/taste like little balled up gym socks


Can't argue.
 
2013-01-26 11:30:13 PM  
I thought the biggest lie was "I'll pull out"... Oh, wait, celery, sorry, move on. Nothing to see here
 
2013-01-26 11:33:49 PM  
All that article did was make me want celery.  I love celery.  It's a must in Cornbread dressing, chopped salad, with blue cheese dressing and wings, in pot roast, and most soups I make.  It's cousin, the leek, makes the best soup out there.  It adds a flavor that cannot be replicated.

That said, my father hated celery so much that he couldn't even be around when someone was cutting it.  The smell nauseated him.  At thanksgiving, we made two pans of dressing...a big one with celery in it for everyone else, and a small one for my dad without celery.
 
2013-01-26 11:34:40 PM  
i14.photobucket.com

Yes, indeed. You hear the most outrageous lies about it. Half-baked goggle-box do-gooders telling everybody it's bad for you. Pernicious nonsense. Everybody could stand a hundred vegetable platters a year. They ought to have them, too.
 
2013-01-26 11:39:03 PM  
Hating celery is like hating water.
 
2013-01-26 11:39:14 PM  

Thisbymaster: Celery and carrots make a nice base for a soap, that is the only way I use it.


"It's not gonna be a boring soup. That's just the base. You put the chicken in. You've gotta add other flavors. Carrots and celery are just a base of a soup!"
 
2013-01-26 11:44:52 PM  

fusillade762: I'm glad to find I'm not the only one who hates celery. Raw, anyway, I don't mind it cooked.

/also hate raw coconut, tapioca and rice pudding


I agree with every point. I hated ants on a log when I was young. I give it to my kids a few times a year, just to shake things up, but they renamed it to 'dinosaur food.' I can get a few of them to eat the whole thing.
 
2013-01-26 11:49:07 PM  

whatshisname: HotWingAgenda: Gyrfalcon: Celery is not the worst vegetable ever.

Brussels sprouts, however, is the devil's food.

FTFY

/taste like little balled up gym socks

Try this:

Slice them in half, then very fine.
Heat up a pan, hot, put in some butter and oil.
Toss in the Brussels sprouts and flip or stir.
Add a splash of whitewine and a small grating of nutmeg.
Cook just until the sprouts are brilliant green.
Grate some parmesan on top.


For some reason, I thought that was going to be a limirick (sp.)
 
2013-01-26 11:54:05 PM  
images.wikia.com

/Hot
//Bleek
 
2013-01-26 11:57:03 PM  

PapaChester: Hating celery is like hating water.


Water is required to live.  Celery ... not so much.
 
2013-01-26 11:59:41 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA.

[img37.imageshack.us image 400x400]

You'd best smile when you talk about Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray celery flavored soda.


GREAT SCOTT! That looks gross.
 
2013-01-27 12:00:48 AM  
It's weird - a year or so ago I somehow developed an aversion to celery. Used to eat it with peanut butter, in salads, etc. Didn't like it or dislike it.

Now, it makes me gag. I had some shrimp in Old Bay and was nauseated. Checked the box, Old Bay is mostly celery salt. I was practically raised on crabs in Old Bay, now all of a sudden it makes me want to puke.
 
2013-01-27 12:04:05 AM  

GRCooper: It's weird - a year or so ago I somehow developed an aversion to celery. Used to eat it with peanut butter, in salads, etc. Didn't like it or dislike it.

Now, it makes me gag. I had some shrimp in Old Bay and was nauseated. Checked the box, Old Bay is mostly celery salt. I was practically raised on crabs in Old Bay, now all of a sudden it makes me want to puke.


That was poorly written - I should point out I noticed my new problem wirh celery before I noticed it in the Old Bay, it wasn't just that spice.
 
2013-01-27 12:06:04 AM  

SN1987a goes boom: GREAT SCOTT! That looks gross.


Deceptively so.

I know, I know, I was a skeptic at the start, too.

If you give it a try, though, you'd be pleasantly surprised! It's... EFFERVESCENT.
 
2013-01-27 12:08:03 AM  

GRCooper: It's weird - a year or so ago I somehow developed an aversion to celery. Used to eat it with peanut butter, in salads, etc. Didn't like it or dislike it.

Now, it makes me gag. I had some shrimp in Old Bay and was nauseated. Checked the box, Old Bay is mostly celery salt. I was practically raised on crabs in Old Bay, now all of a sudden it makes me want to puke.


Maybe you're pregnant.
 
2013-01-27 12:09:03 AM  
I use nearly every vegetable known to man in my cooking and celery is a necessary and much needed component in many dishes. You can't even make the majority western soups without it.
Note on beets: Braised beef borscht. Get untrimmed cuts and use the extra bit to make stock that you will then cook the (red not overly sweet) grated beets, leeks and soup potatoes (I use reds) in.
Cook until soft
Add seasoning: this part is up to you (salt, celery salt and freshly ground pepper as well as bays leaves should already be in there from the stock)
stick (or counter-top) blender
Braise beef cuts to medium rare
Add to soup
Cook on low heat for a long time

Also, iceberg lettuce isn't a vegetable. I don't what the hell it is, but it isn't a vegetable.
 
2013-01-27 12:12:56 AM  
I use celery to warn me of gases that I'm sometimes allergic too.  No other vegetable can do that.
 
2013-01-27 12:15:18 AM  

cirby: Celery makes a great edible spoon for pimiento cheese.


I'll have to try that.  I'm a great fan of both, but don't think I've had them together that way.  Also need to find that soda, I imagine it's somewhat like Sprite or 7-up but with a better flavor? Both of those just take like barely flavored carbonated water to me.

Used to take celery and eat it with marshmallow fluff when I was a kid.  Also use peanut butter sometimes.  Mostly just cut it into 3"-4" pieces and slather cream cheese on it.  It also adds a nice crunch to salads of all types.  The first thing I do when I get a bunch is take the outer stalks off to get to the tiny inside stalks that are light green to yellow in color.  Very sweet and tasty that part and always is the best.

Now I'm hungry...
 
2013-01-27 12:19:00 AM  

FueledByEthanol: That said, you know who else liked celery?

[lileks.com image 800x968]

Art Frahm, that's who!

/Thanks James


You are now on my favorite's list. I love Art Frahm's work.  And am in the process of designing a tattoo of one of his paintings as my next piece.  I'm thinking the 'bus driver' one.
 
2013-01-27 12:19:14 AM  
Had no idea people disliked celery so much, I think it adds something good practically every savory dish. A ton of it raw in tuna salad with ricotta instead of mayonnaise is one of my favorite things.
 
2013-01-27 12:21:43 AM  
stanadamsii: Remember beets have *a lot* of sugar, use it small diced as the sweet component like a raisin in a stir fry

Raisins in stir fry? What's wrong with you :P

sno man: Beets are best roasted.

Skirl Hutsenreiter: Is it the earthy taste? Because lemon breaks the compound that causes that down.

ciberido: What the hell is wrong with you people? You've never ever heard of borscht?

Roasted, in a soup (including borscht), in a cocktail, as an ice cream, etc, tried it all at various restaurants prepared in many different ways. The people that liked beets to begin with thought all of the beet dishes were great. OTOH, couldn't stand any of the dishes.

As far as I'm concerned, it's a disgusting vegetable that should be considered unfit for human consumption.
 
2013-01-27 12:25:29 AM  

rev. dave: The best use for celery is hot wings, followed by pea soup and lastly bloody Mary. No other uses exist.


Uhhmm you forgot tuna salad which is damn near unedible w/o celery.
 
2013-01-27 12:25:42 AM  
One thing about celery is that you can't use whole head(?) for the same purposes.
Remove the outer (fiberous and flavorless) and core (bitter) stalks. Keep those for stocks.
The rest is fair game for everything else.
 
2013-01-27 12:31:50 AM  
Celery is best in chicken soup.

I combine chicken, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots and celery into the bestest chicken soup you will ever have.

/loves me the chicken soup
 
2013-01-27 12:32:10 AM  

sno man: stanadamsii: lordargent: HotWingAgenda: Brussels sprouts, however, is the devil's food.

I'm ok with brussels sprouts, when roasted with mushrooms and bacon, with a bit of olive oil and sea salt.

BUT

When I was younger, I used to dislike a lot of veggies. Broccoli, sprouts, peas, etc.

When I got older, moved out, got my own kitchen and started cooking for myself, I realized that my dislike of a lot of veggies was a matter of preparation. IE, my mom/stepdad BOILED a lot of their veggies with little alteration.

With a steamer pot and a cast iron roasting pan and a cabinet full of spices, I've turned all of those disliked/hated veggies into dishes that ranged from tolerable to damned tasty.

EXCEPT FOR BEETS!!!

I can't do a damned thing with beets, every preparation, every spicing, and they still come out nasty.

Remember beets have *a lot* of sugar, use it small diced as the sweet component like a raisin in a stir fry and you might like it better. Never canned.
/also didn't like it until recently- balsamic was my gateway to liking it.

Beets are best roasted... clean, wrap in tin foil and throw into a 350ish oven for an hour or so.  when they give a little when you poke them, pull them out, let them cool a bit, peel them and cut up as you like, toss with butter and a pinch of salt. Just don't be too alarmed the next day or two in the bathroom.  I have an awesome Indian dish with beets, tomato, cumin and onions as well.


I've been trying to find a quick and dirty way to make beets and this sounds pretty tasty.  Thanks for the tip.
 
2013-01-27 12:35:11 AM  

tonguedepressor: rev. dave: The best use for celery is hot wings, followed by pea soup and lastly bloody Mary. No other uses exist.

Uhhmm you forgot tuna salad which is damn near unedible w/o celery.


you mean like a tuna sandwich, right? I'll agree there. Try with apples sometimes too.
 
2013-01-27 12:41:39 AM  

born_yesterday: I would not have expected a celery thread to garner so much attention.


WTF this is gonna go over 200 comments.
 
2013-01-27 12:42:52 AM  

megarian: The Wonder Pets would like a word with you...


This is sewios. I love celery, especially the tender, light green, centre stalks.
 
2013-01-27 12:45:18 AM  
Celery is the vodka of vegetables.

Or, if you find white paint to be overly stimulating, you'll probably like celery.
 
2013-01-27 12:46:10 AM  
And a truth about celery: it is the most common cause of phytophotodermatitis, due to its high levels of naturally occurring furocoumarins.
 
2013-01-27 12:47:27 AM  

TheGreenMonkey: I've been trying to find a quick and dirty way to make beets and this sounds pretty tasty.  Thanks for the tip.


Cut the top and root off at the cleaning stage.  And while no brainer easy, it's still an hour or so...quick wise. But your welcome.
 
2013-01-27 12:48:06 AM  
Oh yeah, does anyone else get a numb mouth from celery?
 
2013-01-27 12:52:11 AM  
Comments like these have convinced me that our american palate us seriously messed up. Celery does have a taste. Yes, it's obviously not strong, but it does have a very subtle hint of saltiness and sweetness to it, particularly the inner parts down by the stalk. Add that to the grassy fresh taste, and it's just the most damn refreshing thing you can dip anything into.

I think our taste buds are so messed up from scarfing down ultra cool ranch doritos and hot wings soaked in butter, salt, sugar and what passes for hot sauce, that we are unable to recognize subtle flavors.

I once broke out some olive oils for some friends who wondered why I had more than three types in my house. One was your basic supermarket stuff for everyday choking. The other one had a super strong grass and green apple scent with a hugely peppery finish that I like for salad dressings, and the last one was a french bottle that was very smooth and tasted almost like clarified butter that I like for dipping. I put them out in little containers to see if they could taste the difference and only one of five people could.

Makes me wonder if that's why the biggest market for "fancy" olive oils is not the pure stuff with great flavors, but rather regular oil infused with stupid combinations. Orange peel flavor in my olive oil? Why not use an orange and a zester and some good oil instead if regular oil with some lab-created aromatic added to it?

I thing the reason why is because the average person can't distinguish tastes very well anymore. This is not only supported by personal experience, but also by a food scientist friend of mine that says that more flavoring, sugar and salt are added to products sold in the US compared to the same products sold elsewhere (yes, with the same brand and by the same company). No wonder we can't taste celery.
 
2013-01-27 12:55:00 AM  

rga184: Comments like these have convinced me that our american palate us seriously messed up. Celery does have a taste. Yes, it's obviously not strong, but it does have a very subtle hint of saltiness and sweetness to it, particularly the inner parts down by the stalk. Add that to the grassy fresh taste, and it's just the most damn refreshing thing you can dip anything into.

I think our taste buds are so messed up from scarfing down ultra cool ranch doritos and hot wings soaked in butter, salt, sugar and what passes for hot sauce, that we are unable to recognize subtle flavors.

I once broke out some olive oils for some friends who wondered why I had more than three types in my house. One was your basic supermarket stuff for everyday choking. The other one had a super strong grass and green apple scent with a hugely peppery finish that I like for salad dressings, and the last one was a french bottle that was very smooth and tasted almost like clarified butter that I like for dipping. I put them out in little containers to see if they could taste the difference and only one of five people could.

Makes me wonder if that's why the biggest market for "fancy" olive oils is not the pure stuff with great flavors, but rather regular oil infused with stupid combinations. Orange peel flavor in my olive oil? Why not use an orange and a zester and some good oil instead if regular oil with some lab-created aromatic added to it?

I thing the reason why is because the average person can't distinguish tastes very well anymore. This is not only supported by personal experience, but also by a food scientist friend of mine that says that more flavoring, sugar and salt are added to products sold in the US compared to the same products sold elsewhere (yes, with the same brand and by the same company). No wonder we can't taste celery.


When people describe you, does the term "insufferable" come up a lot? Just curious.
 
2013-01-27 12:57:10 AM  
I love celery. I will often take celery leaves, dump them in a pot of water, bring it to a boil and then let it simmer for several hours. I makes my apartment smell quite nice. (This is a nice little "trick" to do before company comes over.)
 
2013-01-27 12:58:44 AM  
Oh yeah, the author sounds just like those damn militant vegetarians who feel it is their duty to shove their beliefs down everyone else's throats. I hope the author chokes on a steak.
 
2013-01-27 01:05:13 AM  

rev. dave: The best use for celery is hot wings, followed by pea soup and lastly bloody Mary. No other uses exist.


It is decoration only, like parsley, so I agree with you 100%
 
2013-01-27 01:08:10 AM  

WhippingBoy: Celery is the vodka of vegetables.

Or, if you find white paint to be overly stimulating, you'll probably like celery.


Wouldn't that make it more like Everclear?
 
2013-01-27 01:08:56 AM  
Has anyone here ever went to a party and was like "WHOO! F*CK-YEAH... CELERY!!"?
 
2013-01-27 01:15:06 AM  

FueledByEthanol: That said, you know who else liked celery?

[lileks.com image 800x968]

Art Frahm, that's who!

/Thanks James


That took a whole bunch of comments before that showed up.
 
2013-01-27 01:18:59 AM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA.

You'd best smile when you talk about Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray celery flavored soda.


I've had that a few times. It's actually not too bad--kind of citrusy with a mellow aftertaste. Also, I don't mind the use of celery salt. Aside from that, celery is my LEAST favorite vegetable. Unless it's for seasoning and removed before you put the real ingredients in, don't put it in stews, soups, spaghetti sauce (desecration!), or chili (BLASPHEMY!). If you HAVE to add celery to those or other dishes, make sure the chunk is big enough for me to remove and put on the side of my plate.
 
2013-01-27 01:19:54 AM  

cowgirl toffee: Has anyone here ever went to a party and was like "WHOO! F*CK-YEAH... CELERY!!"?


Yes. When my Caesar drink had practically a whole salad in it and it was awhile to go before dinner. Woo hoo! Celery!
 
2013-01-27 01:22:13 AM  

Gyrfalcon: WhippingBoy: Celery is the vodka of vegetables.

Or, if you find white paint to be overly stimulating, you'll probably like celery.

Wouldn't that make it more like Everclear?


I've invented a cocktail that consists of distilled water and vodka, garnished with a stock of celery. I can't think of a name though... It needs to be something really, really boring...
 
2013-01-27 01:22:34 AM  

HaywoodJablonski: rev. dave: The best use for celery is hot wings, followed by pea soup and lastly bloody Mary. No other uses exist.

It is decoration only, like parsley, so I agree with you 100%


Parsley, like celery, is a member of the Apiaceae family, and is also a common cause of phytophotodermatitis.
 
2013-01-27 01:23:03 AM  

katerbug72: cowgirl toffee: Has anyone here ever went to a party and was like "WHOO! F*CK-YEAH... CELERY!!"?

Yes. When my Caesar drink had practically a whole salad in it and it was awhile to go before dinner. Woo hoo! Celery!


*smack* You could have had a V-8. :P
 
2013-01-27 01:25:32 AM  

WhippingBoy: Gyrfalcon: WhippingBoy: Celery is the vodka of vegetables.

Or, if you find white paint to be overly stimulating, you'll probably like celery.

Wouldn't that make it more like Everclear?

I've invented a cocktail that consists of distilled water and vodka, garnished with a stock of celery. I can't think of a name though... It needs to be something really, really boring...


The Gore-Kerry-NPR
 
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