If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Gawker)   The three most outrageous lies about celery. "It's delicious" is the biggest lie, of course   (gawker.com) divider line 270
    More: Sick, blue cheeses  
•       •       •

19743 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jan 2013 at 9:28 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



270 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-26 06:43:19 PM  
I'm hardly a fan of celery, but that article was a bit over the top. As kasy said in the comments,

All this article does is make me think that all Mallory eats is like, chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs and minute rice
 
2013-01-26 08:20:36 PM  
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA.

img37.imageshack.us

You'd best smile when you talk about Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray celery flavored soda.
 
2013-01-26 08:21:11 PM  
what is this I don't even
 
2013-01-26 08:30:49 PM  
she sounds fat. garnish it.
 
2013-01-26 08:31:12 PM  
My jar of peanut butter says YOU'RE WRONG!
 
2013-01-26 08:33:59 PM  

PainInTheASP: My jar of peanut butter says YOU'RE WRONG!


img19.imageshack.us

Samuel L. Jackson would agree with you.
 
2013-01-26 08:48:08 PM  
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-01-26 08:57:31 PM  
The word celery comes from the ancient practice of paying Roman soldiers an allowance to buy it...
 
2013-01-26 09:04:37 PM  
The best use for celery is hot wings, followed by pea soup and lastly bloody Mary. No other uses exist.
 
2013-01-26 09:07:06 PM  
I miss celery. My wife hates it and green pepper, so like 2/3 of the cajun trinity are right out the f*cking window.
 
2013-01-26 09:10:58 PM  

rev. dave: The best use for celery is hot wings, followed by pea soup and lastly bloody Mary. No other uses exist.


Wrong. It's best when you eat it with just a little salt on it. Unless it's the light green inner stalks. They taste good by themselves.

I can eat an entire bunch of celery by itself. One of my favorite vegetables, ever.
 
2013-01-26 09:14:24 PM  
I'm glad to find I'm not the only one who hates celery. Raw, anyway, I don't mind it cooked.

/also hate raw coconut, tapioca and rice pudding
 
2013-01-26 09:23:00 PM  

PacManDreaming: rev. dave: The best use for celery is hot wings, followed by pea soup and lastly bloody Mary. No other uses exist.

Wrong. It's best when you eat it with just a little salt on it. Unless it's the light green inner stalks. They taste good by themselves.

I can eat an entire bunch of celery by itself. One of my favorite vegetables, ever.


Well, whenever I eat hot wings I cannot get enough of it. I coat it in wing sauce until the wing sauce is gone, use it to spoon out the blue cheese or ranch dressing. I will eat it until it is all gone. But if I buy some that is not used for making soup or wings, it just sits in the refrigerator until it goes bad.
 
2013-01-26 09:24:19 PM  

PacManDreaming: They taste good by themselves.


They don't taste like anything. A glass of tap water has more flavor than celery.
 
2013-01-26 09:33:14 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA.

[img37.imageshack.us image 400x400]

You'd best smile when you talk about Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray celery flavored soda.


Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray is the best soda ever made.
 
2013-01-26 09:33:36 PM  
How much does Fark get for these articles?
 
2013-01-26 09:33:38 PM  
Lie #4 -- Author has any idea what the fark he's talking about.
 
2013-01-26 09:34:04 PM  
Add me to the 'they don't taste like anything" bunch.

With salt... hmm this tastes like cool watery fibrous salt.
 
2013-01-26 09:34:07 PM  
Now, I see. Hitler and celery. Celery and Hitler. I was blind but now I see, celery. And I will fight you.
 
2013-01-26 09:34:18 PM  

rev. dave: The best use for celery is hot wings


Truer words.
 
2013-01-26 09:34:44 PM  
I pass on the carrots just to get more celery with my mango habanero hot wings. Dipping all of the above in ranch mixed with habanero tabasco is the bomb.

I am spicy, and so can you.
 
2013-01-26 09:35:07 PM  

t3knomanser: PacManDreaming: They taste good by themselves.

They don't taste like anything. A glass of tap water has more flavor than celery.


Celery is incredibly flavorful. I don't know what it is that you've been eating, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't celery.
 
2013-01-26 09:35:12 PM  

Rannuci: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA.

[img37.imageshack.us image 400x400]

You'd best smile when you talk about Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray celery flavored soda.

Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray is the best soda ever made.



Zappa liked it too!
 
2013-01-26 09:35:20 PM  

make me some tea: what is this I don't even


Forget it Jake, it's gawker.com.
 
2013-01-26 09:36:51 PM  

Thunderboy: t3knomanser: PacManDreaming: They taste good by themselves.

They don't taste like anything. A glass of tap water has more flavor than celery.

Celery is incredibly flavorful. I don't know what it is that you've been eating, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't celery.



Maybe they're all heavy smokers with no taste buds left.
 
2013-01-26 09:36:53 PM  
Celery makes a great edible spoon for pimiento cheese.
 
2013-01-26 09:37:06 PM  
Doesn't celery (and iceberg lettuce) have very low nutritional value? Basically just water and indigestible plant matter, no?
 
2013-01-26 09:37:10 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-26 09:37:30 PM  

HotWingAgenda: rev. dave: The best use for celery is hot wings

Truer words.


You sound like you have an agenda on the subject.
 
Skr
2013-01-26 09:37:48 PM  
It gets stuck in my teeth in a most horrible fashion. Basically I only eat it when it is rendered down into goo as a Chow Mein ingredient.
 
2013-01-26 09:38:00 PM  

cirby: Celery makes a great edible spoon for pimiento cheese.


And similarly, guacamole!

/Better for you than those fried "chips," too, fatty
 
2013-01-26 09:38:56 PM  

Skr: It gets stuck in my teeth in a most horrible fashion. Basically I only eat it when it is rendered down into goo as a Chow Mein ingredient.


Happens to me sometimes, too. Like a flossing accident.
 
2013-01-26 09:39:04 PM  
It belongs slathered in this...

blog.chewyland.com

Oh yeah...
 
2013-01-26 09:39:08 PM  
Celery and hummus is yummy. (I like Sabra Roasted Garlic Hummus.) YMMV
 
2013-01-26 09:39:16 PM  
I don't like stringy celery . If something calls for celery, I'll put in celery seeds instead.That also spreads
out the flavoring from just one stringy green blob to the whole dish.
 
2013-01-26 09:39:35 PM  
All I know about celery is 3 things: it has negative calories, it was promoted for use as toilet paper in old-timey ads, and foley artists use it for bone break sound fx. That's about the extent of my celery knowledges.
 
2013-01-26 09:40:07 PM  

fusillade762: /also hate raw coconut, tapioca and rice pudding


The texture of rice pudding triggers every neuron in my brain to send out a distress signal. It is completely anathema.
 
2013-01-26 09:40:28 PM  

rev. dave: The best use for celery is hot wings, followed by pea soup and lastly bloody Mary. No other uses exist.


I had a bite of the beef and veg stoup I made that contained two big hunks of celery today. I was not offended, and it was a bit different than the bites that had a big hunk of potato, or the ones that were corn, tomato and meat in a good way. I guess I'd say it tastes "fresh" even though it was cooked in a stoup. As compared to like the whole canned tomatoes in the stoup which I can't detect any flavor at all from them.
I do not like celery raw though, too stringy even with peanut butter. Although I haven't tried it since I was six so maybe I should.
/evoo
 
2013-01-26 09:40:33 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com

If nothing else, I'm sure it's good for my teeth.
 
2013-01-26 09:40:40 PM  

LemSkroob: Doesn't celery (and iceberg lettuce) have very low nutritional value? Basically just water and indigestible plant matter, no?


Ten calories a stalk, trace amounts of vitamins A and C, one gram fiber. So, yeah.
 
2013-01-26 09:41:05 PM  
Celery and carrots make a nice base for a soap, that is the only way I use it.
 
2013-01-26 09:41:40 PM  

Hector Remarkable: Now, I see. Hitler and celery. Celery and Hitler. I was blind but now I see, celery. And I will fight you.


Celery caused the Holocaust.
 
2013-01-26 09:42:10 PM  
I love celery. It is good in a salad and with hot wings. Just sprinkle it with salt.
 
2013-01-26 09:42:18 PM  
Which begs the Question..How much celery is in water?
 
2013-01-26 09:42:21 PM  

cirby: Celery makes a great edible spoon for pimiento cheese.


star_topology: And similarly, guacamole!


Peanut butter, too.
 
2013-01-26 09:42:45 PM  
Sounds like this article was written by someone who doesn't do a lot of cooking. If your celery is brown and mushy, it means you cooked it to death, and you chop the celery for most soups (apparently, this person has also never heard of mirepoix).

Also, protip, If you're cooking celery (or any green leafy veggie), and want to keep it from becoming drab, just toss in a little baking soda, and they will be flavorful and beautifully colored. For anything like carrots, or red cabbage (basically, anything that isn't pigmented by chlorophyll) add a little vinegar for the same effect.

Bam. Cooked veggies as delicious as they are visually appealing.
 
2013-01-26 09:42:56 PM  

carnifex2005:


Ha! Awesome.
 
2013-01-26 09:42:56 PM  

Rannuci: Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray is the best soda ever made.


You see?!

Rannuci *gets* it!

Welcome to the Favorites list, mang.
 
2013-01-26 09:43:10 PM  
TFA: "...celery contributes nothing [to soup]..."

That writer does not know how to cook.
 
2013-01-26 09:43:37 PM  
Celery ... barely qualifies as food, it's mostly water and fiber and not much in the way of nourishment.

Fark Classic : what does 200 calories look like

200 calories of celery => 1425 grams of celery => 3.14159 pounds

You need to eat 3 pounds of celery to get 200 calories of energy!
 
Displayed 50 of 270 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


Report