Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Time)   Good news everyone. We are all now officially alcoholics   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely, electronic medical records, professor emeritus, alcohol abuse, DSM, Virginia Commonwealth University, legal burden of proof, alcoholisms  
•       •       •

12953 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Jan 2013 at 12:49 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-26 12:32:16 AM  
3 votes:
I'm not drinking alone

/there are dozens of Farkers drinking with me
2013-01-26 08:56:37 AM  
2 votes:
Next thing you know, you toss one off and your a sex offender.
2013-01-26 02:15:55 AM  
2 votes:
 What's so bad about people?

where do you want me to start?
2013-01-26 01:51:51 AM  
2 votes:
Im not an alcoholic Im a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings
2013-01-26 10:55:47 AM  
1 vote:
the image they put into the article makes me laugh, including the caption: "Man in bar with a beer."
Oh, is THAT what that is?

Is this shiat being written by some kind of ArticleTron 2000?
Whatever is being done, it certainly makes for some compelling reading.
2013-01-26 05:22:18 AM  
1 vote:
The obvious tag is standing outside the thread, in a puddle of it's own puke, yelling at the link and asking why we don't love it anymore.
2013-01-26 03:59:24 AM  
1 vote:
Alcoholics Unanimous.
2013-01-26 03:58:15 AM  
1 vote:
CSB time:

About five years ago, on a Friday afternoon, before I had any drinks, I ended up in the emergency room because I had a mild case of jaundice( I didn't notice it, but my friends did). One of the first things they ask you, when in the emergency room, is how much do you drink? I made the mistake of telling the truth and I said l normally drink four or five beers on Fridays when I go out with my friends. That apparently classified me as a binge drinker. I got a bunch of pamphlets on the effects of binge drinking and one for AA and was sent home with a lecture on no more drinking or I will die. It turns out I had pancreatitis and ended up back in the hospital the following Monday. I ended up staying there for three days.

My point? Lie when they ask. It may save you thousands of dollars.
2013-01-26 02:22:15 AM  
1 vote:

Oxotoxo: Drinking alone is a lonely and habit forming alternative than to be with people.  We are a social species, if you cannot tolerate people then drink alone or play wow, smoke dope, write, work, worship, or wack off.  What's so bad about people?

There are two kinds of people in this world, and I don't like them.
2013-01-26 02:16:26 AM  
1 vote:
And the DSM-V is STILL better reading than Fifty Shades of Grey.
2013-01-26 01:40:30 AM  
1 vote:

Fuggin Bizzy: 7 months in AA. 6 days sober.

Keep coming back.
2013-01-26 01:35:32 AM  
1 vote:
2013-01-26 01:20:27 AM  
1 vote:
i want beer but they stopped selling it after 12am
fortunately i met a hooker
2013-01-26 01:08:58 AM  
1 vote:

Kingly Weevil: I'll believe it when I read it in the new DSM.

I'm just hoping Never Nude Syndrome will finally be recognized in the DSM-V.
2013-01-26 01:06:38 AM  
1 vote:
I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a professional.
I'm from Wisconsin.
2013-01-26 01:01:30 AM  
1 vote:
fta The new diagnosis combines abuse and dependence into a single condition with varying levels of severity.

I just popped the cap on my second level of severity
2013-01-26 12:55:16 AM  
1 vote:
We're rapidly approaching the time when needing to breathe will be called "air addiction syndrome" and called a disease.
2013-01-26 12:38:01 AM  
1 vote:

sno man: Ennuipoet: Will we get some sort of badge or ribbon for this achievement?

A tiny chrome plated trophy with an engraved plate that says Fark Participant?

I was told they all read, "Asshole".

I'm going to have to complain about mine now.
2013-01-25 10:08:39 PM  
1 vote:
I have always thought of my self as a mildly functional soak...
2013-01-25 09:00:04 PM  
1 vote:
Excellent! Let's go get hammered!
2013-01-25 08:46:23 PM  
1 vote:
Billy West, of cartoon fame, has the greatest drinking story I've ever heard.

His Irish Catholic uncles were, back in the day, Irish Catholics. That pretty much says it all right there about their love of the brew. So what they'd do when they were drinkin' hard is head back to their factory and sleep in the doorway so they wouldn't be late the next day.
2013-01-25 08:45:22 PM  
1 vote:
Will we get some sort of badge or ribbon for this achievement?
Displayed 22 of 22 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.