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(ESPN)   Carl Pavano shovels snow, out six to eight weeks. No, this is not The Onion   (espn.go.com) divider line 36
    More: Obvious, The Onion, shovels  
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1499 clicks; posted to Sports » on 25 Jan 2013 at 5:00 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-01-25 05:02:35 PM  
George Brett breaking his toe while racing from the laundry room to watch Bill Buckner hit on TV is still the greatest of all time.
 
2013-01-25 05:04:54 PM  
Why do baseball players suffer such strange injuries? What other athletes get injured shaking hands, giving high-fives, sneezing, taking out the trash, or getting attacked by the tarp monster?
 
2013-01-25 05:06:58 PM  
Dustin Penner knows that feel.
 
2013-01-25 05:12:45 PM  
Tomorrow:  New York Mets sign Carl Pavano to a 5 year/$45 million contract.
 
2013-01-25 05:13:39 PM  
I want to believe the Smoltz story about burning himself while ironing a shirt, that he was wearing.
 
2013-01-25 05:21:15 PM  
couldnt the guy afford a snowblower machine thing , or pay some kid ? And who ruptures  a spleen falling down ?
 
2013-01-25 05:21:53 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: Why do baseball players suffer such strange injuries? What other athletes get injured shaking hands, giving high-fives, sneezing, taking out the trash, or getting attacked by the tarp monster?


Don't forget "Trying to imitate a motivational speaker who ripped a phonebook in half"
 
2013-01-25 05:25:17 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: Why do baseball players suffer such strange injuries? What other athletes get injured shaking hands, giving high-fives, sneezing, taking out the trash, or getting attacked by the tarp monster?


Brian Leetch, one of the strongest skaters in the NHL, once broke his ankle slipping on ice while getting out of a cab.
 
2013-01-25 05:26:18 PM  

AliceBToklasLives: Why do baseball players suffer such strange injuries? What other athletes get injured shaking hands, giving high-fives, sneezing, taking out the trash, or getting attacked by the tarp monster?


It's not really that strange. Think of all the dumb shiat you've managed to do to yourself that no one ever hears about because (a) you aren't famous and (b) it doesn't really affect anything in grand scheme of things.

If I get a paper cut opening a box, I get a band-aid and life goes on. If a ballplayer, especially a pitcher, does it, they miss a start and people have a laugh. If I break my shoulder because I'm a dumbass and carrying too much stuff up the stairs, I get some grief. If I'm a baseball player, it's national news.

alienated: couldnt the guy afford a snowblower machine thing , or pay some kid ? And who ruptures  a spleen falling down ?


Ixnay on the nowblowersay, Joe Sakic broke three fingers in a snowblower mishap
 
2013-01-25 05:26:33 PM  
I'll tell you what - when that shovel hits a raised crack in the sidewalk, it can fark you up from your hips to your fingertips. That shiat hurts!
 
2013-01-25 05:27:46 PM  
Dude made $8 mil last year....hire a farking illegal to shovel snow for you, dumbass! Especially if you're so big a klutz that you can't do it yourself without suffering life-threatening injuries.
 
2013-01-25 05:29:48 PM  

alienated: couldnt the guy afford a snowblower machine thing , or pay some kid ? And who ruptures  a spleen falling down ?


The guy could afford to have a farking heated driveway
 
2013-01-25 05:30:54 PM  

4NSpy: I want to believe the Smoltz story about burning himself while ironing a shirt, that he was wearing


Forever my favorite injury story, real or not.
 
2013-01-25 05:31:51 PM  
i26.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-25 05:35:08 PM  
Had he only listened to the Secretary of Homeland Security the other day who said we should all warm up before shoveling snow (the government really does know what's best for us, don't they?)
 
2013-01-25 05:35:44 PM  

highendmighty: I'll tell you what - when that shovel hits a raised crack in the sidewalk, it can fark you up from your hips to your fingertips. That shiat hurts!


as someone who has to shovel the driveway and sidewalk in about 90min, this is very true. I may use the snowblower though because i'm feeling lazy
 
2013-01-25 05:40:14 PM  
His bobblehead doll comes with a neck brace.
 
2013-01-25 05:43:38 PM  

jayhawk88: George Brett breaking his toe while racing from the laundry room to watch Bill Buckner hit on TV missing a game because of hemorrhoids is still the greatest of all time.

Fixed.

 
2013-01-25 05:49:39 PM  
But he's usually so durable!
 
2013-01-25 05:53:07 PM  
Watermellon elbow and sesame seed finger. That is all.
 
2013-01-25 05:53:54 PM  
didnt tony gwynn smash his thumb in the door of his porche while going to the bank to deposit a check?

/missed a few weeks right?
//or am i hallucinating again
 
2013-01-25 05:55:42 PM  
So what you're telling me is that Carl Pavano is really Samuel L. Jackson in "Unbreakable?"
 
2013-01-25 06:27:34 PM  
Wade Boggs pulled an abdominal muscle putting on a pair of boots, I believe.

But Jeff Kent had the greatest fake injury of all time. OF ALL TIME!
 
2013-01-25 06:48:32 PM  

robsul82: 4NSpy: I want to believe the Smoltz story about burning himself while ironing a shirt, that he was wearing

Forever my favorite injury story, real or not.


It did not happen exactly as people have repeated through the years. From what I could gather through my detective work, I'm pretty sure he was ironing a golf shirt that was whatever thin poly blend material. Finished ironing and then put the shirt on right away.

While not as silly as sticking an iron up to his stomach...still not the smartest thing to do.
 
2013-01-25 06:51:40 PM  
Glenn Healy of the Leafs once cut his hand cleaning his bagpipes.

Nolan Ryan got bit by a coyote (no word if the coyote received a nasty noogie for it).

Brandon Inge strained an oblique lifting a pillow.

Chris Hanson nearly took his own leg off with an axe....IN HIS OWN LOCKER ROOM.

But the NBA may have everyone else beat, because what other sport can boast a Game Boy-related injury? Thank you, Lionel Simmons.
 
2013-01-25 07:32:36 PM  
Joel Zumaya got tendonitis from Guitar Hero
 
2013-01-25 07:53:55 PM  
How about Paxton Crawford, the Red Sox pitcher that fell out of bed and landed on a glass?

Or Bruins goalie John Grahame breaking his ankle stepping off a curb?

More dumb sports injuries.
 
2013-01-25 08:22:43 PM  

NotoriousW.O.P: So what you're telling me is that Carl Pavano is really Samuel L. Jackson in "Unbreakable?"


Mr. Glass? No, that title belongs to Nick Johnson.
 
2013-01-25 09:02:56 PM  

bulldg4life: robsul82: 4NSpy: I want to believe the Smoltz story about burning himself while ironing a shirt, that he was wearing

Forever my favorite injury story, real or not.

It did not happen exactly as people have repeated through the years. From what I could gather through my detective work, I'm pretty sure he was ironing a golf shirt that was whatever thin poly blend material. Finished ironing and then put the shirt on right away.

While not as silly as sticking an iron up to his stomach...still not the smartest thing to do.


Awww, still pretty stupid, but yeah...I hope he put the iron on himself, lol, that's too good.
 
2013-01-25 11:21:52 PM  

alienated: couldnt the guy afford a snowblower machine thing , or pay some kid ? And who ruptures  a spleen falling down ?


Obviously, he does.
 
2013-01-25 11:26:04 PM  
img267.imageshack.us
 
2013-01-25 11:40:46 PM  
A Rod is Mr. Glass.
 
2013-01-26 02:25:01 AM  
Jonathan Lucroy - breaks his hand by dropping a suitcase on it. Begs the question, how do you lift up a suitcase and drop it on your hand?
 
2013-01-26 03:52:47 AM  

UNC_Samurai:

But the NBA may have everyone else beat, because what other sport can boast a Game Boy-related injury? Thank you, Lionel Simmons.


Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya missed the ALCS one year due to inflammation in his pitching elbow from playing too much Guitar Hero.
 
2013-01-26 05:22:20 AM  

Candygram for Mongo:
Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya missed the ALCS one year due to inflammation in his pitching elbow from playing too much Guitar Hero.


A likely story. That's just what he would 'fess up to.
/skeet skeet skeet
 
2013-01-26 06:57:58 AM  

alienated: couldnt the guy afford a snowblower machine thing , or pay some kid ? And who ruptures  a spleen falling down ?


I actually really like shoveling snow. Its meticulous, and fresh air inbibed... I will not use a snow blower or pay some kid to shovel the snow until I simply cant. I have very few things I enjoy. Maybe Carl Pavano is just like me. Just.... Like.... Me.

/ Then again, my spleen was removed 20 years ago, so I dont have that whole falling on my spleen hazzard to worry about.
 
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