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(Huffington Post)   Please hold...your estimated wait time is 43 days   ( divider line
    More: Sad, Fifth Third Bank, mortgage refinancing, Chong, Air Canada, Accenture  
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20081 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2013 at 6:10 AM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-24 11:47:56 PM  
3 votes:
Why does being on hold even matter? You put the phone on speaker and mute it and go about doing other things while the music plays. Then, when a voice finally comes on, you unmute it and say, "hold one one second, mkay?" and go about finishing up whatever you're doing. After another minute or so you come back to the phone and go about your business. No fuss, no muss. Multi-tasking is the key to everything.
2013-01-25 07:04:31 AM  
2 votes:
After spending years in cammies standing in line I swore when I got out never again. If theres a line I leave, if you put me on hold I hang up, if it is important I google the company, go to their investor relations page and email the VP of whatever division I have a beef with and tell him my problem clearly and succinctly, 99% of the time the flunky handling the mail takes care of the problem quickly.

/now get off my lawn
2013-01-25 06:59:45 AM  
2 votes:
Really by now this should have been fixed - I am sure you could change it so it detects when there is more than minimal queue time and give you an option "Press 1 to get called back as soon as one of our operatives is available"
2013-01-24 10:47:05 PM  
2 votes:
Let's do a little math.  Let's assume a lifespan of 80 years.  So that's 0.5375 days/year, or 774 minutes.  Average out to every day, and that's 2 minutes, 7 seconds every day on hold.  That seems unlikely.
2013-01-24 10:11:59 PM  
2 votes:
Pressing 0 usually works for me.
2013-01-25 01:44:58 PM  
1 vote:

Bomb Head Mohammed: It has nothing to do with being entitled, it's just that the rules don't apply to you because you assume that everybody else, including those who design the voicemail systems are idiots and that you should be able to speak to a live, expensive person NOW NOW NOW because you have no patience for machines... let the others who have time to spare talk to machines. if this isn't entitlement mentality, i don't know what is.


Customer service requires a HUMAN BEING to PICK UP THE GOD DAMN PHONE and TALK TO YOUR CUSTOMER. And yes, that cost money. Deal. You get what you pay for. Pissed off customers also cost money.
2013-01-25 09:20:04 AM  
1 vote:

Bomb Head Mohammed: My business caters to a somewhat tech savvy/well off demographic internationally. If we've learned anything, it's that our american customers always believe themselves to be exceptional
while occasionally i biatch and moan about the costs involved, well, we still make money so I can't complain too much.

I find it fascinating that you interpret it that way. It isnt "exceptionalism"... its that Americans feel that if I'm giving you my money, I'm going to be serviced the way I want. If you dont want to meet my demands, by all means, dont take my money. Its how business and competition work.

We're buying a service, even if you're just selling a product. If you arent willing to provide that service with your product, then you'll just be beaten by competition that does meet customers needs/wants.

I'm not competing with other customers to make myself feel special... im making YOU compete for my money.

/I'm a business owner.
2013-01-25 09:16:21 AM  
1 vote:

Bomb Head Mohammed: Vegan Meat Popsicle: Bomb Head Mohammed: The point is ....
.. etc ..
I want to make clear: I'm not critizing americans. being overdemanding snowflake customers (and, as you've illustrated, rude know it alls who have the instant ability to come to definite conclusions "retarded", "shiatty") based on the flimsiest of understanding-- is what americans do. I can no more criticize this than I can criticize a bear for shiatting in the woods and not a toilet - it's just the way things are. but, it's just a shame since, as i said, the net result is higher costs for the american consumer.. because they feel they have a god given RIGHT to speak to somebody, even if actually if they had a modicum of patience they would have found out that the automated services work well. In the UK, for example, I routinely run into phone systems that say "If you'd like to do this, please log into your account online, click on x and y. thank you ...

As far as can be seen, you're the only one behaving as a rude know-it-all in this thread. From your earlier statement:

" If we've learned anything, it's that our american customers always believe themselves to be exceptional, whether they admit to it or not. For example, this is why on any given airline flight in the USA, you have half the flight with special requests, be it their kosher gluten free whatever meal or special consideration for some claimed medical condition"

I've had to take my wife to the E.R. more than once at all hours of the day for extreme stomach pain, blackouts, and tremors until the doctors discovered she has a sever intolerance to gluten (Celiac Disease). So for you to make the hypocritical blanket statement that people who request gluten-free meals are entitled, over-demanding snowflakes (who are no less apparently lying about a medical condition)... well, as you put it, it is easy to come to the conclusion that you are "retarded" and "shiatty".
And that is completely aside from the kosher portion of your statement - I'd like to see you go to Israel and call them over-demanding snowflake liars for practicing Jewish dietary law. Jerk.
2013-01-25 08:58:34 AM  
1 vote:
The last time I called a company and got the "hold" message, I was given the option to leave my number and have someone call me back when the opportunity to speak with someone opened up. I chose this option, and it worked like a charm. A real person called me back and I was able to resolve my issue fairly quickly. I thought it was a pretty good service.
2013-01-25 08:48:00 AM  
1 vote:
Who waits on hold for longer than it takes to hang up?
2013-01-25 08:41:25 AM  
1 vote:
The best way to get through a phone tree is to go to Sales first, then ask that human to send you to the right human. Sales is always the fastest to pick-up.
2013-01-25 08:17:54 AM  
1 vote:

Bomb Head Mohammed: The point is this: our USA telephone systems are actually designed knowing damn well that very many an american considers himself , or rather, acts as an entitled little snowflake who has some god given right to jump the queue (

If you're regularly having that problem then what you've really designed is a shiatty phone system and call center that's not capable of handling the expected capacity.

But, no, you keep pretending that saying "people who paid for something and expect service in return for their outlay are entitled jerkasses" is anything but utterly retarded.
2013-01-25 07:56:20 AM  
1 vote:
Who in the hell calls an airline to confirm a flight, as stated in TFA? The reason we have to hold is because of idiots that call for stupid shiat like this in the first place. These must be the same idiots that take 15 minutes when they check in for a flight. What in the hell are you talking about at the desk?!?!?
2013-01-25 06:55:27 AM  
1 vote:
What could be improved is the 'hold' music they play. Fed Ex used to have a jazz loop nightmare played at several decibels over normal speaking volume. Customers should be given a choice : press 1 to hear Skrillex, press 2 to hear headache relief commercials, press 3 for the suicide hotline...
2013-01-25 12:06:24 AM  
1 vote:
Another fine product brought to you by the folks at "We Pull Random Numbers out of our Asses"LLC
2013-01-24 10:55:48 PM  
1 vote:

GAT_00: Let's do a little math.

I was told there'd be no math.

Which is why I read USA Today.
2013-01-24 10:13:10 PM  
1 vote:
Fark the Huffington Post and their autoplay bullsh*t.
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