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(New York Daily News)   Armor contractor invents bulletproof whiteboards for teachers to use during school shootings. Next up: tear-gas erasers   (nydailynews.com) divider line 105
    More: Asinine, George Tunis, Second Amendment Foundation, school shootings, University of Delaware, Murphy's Law  
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3440 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2013 at 8:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-24 08:19:46 PM  
Nothing can go wrong here.
 
2013-01-24 08:19:56 PM  
Ummm...no.
 
2013-01-24 08:20:37 PM  
When armored whiteboards are illegal only criminals will have armored whiteboards.
 
2013-01-24 08:21:59 PM  

SpdrJay: Ummm...no.


^
 
2013-01-24 08:22:39 PM  
95% of all whiteboards are pieces of garbage which smear and stain rather than erase, and I doubt this will somehow be worth using as a whiteboard.
 
2013-01-24 08:23:01 PM  
Ban firearms. And stupid.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-01-24 08:24:34 PM  
What's asinine?  If we aren't going to do anything to prevent shootings, then teachers might as well try to survive them as best they can.
 
2013-01-24 08:25:32 PM  
You can erase tear gas?
 
2013-01-24 08:25:47 PM  
I can see some limited benefit in these in the case people are trapped in a room without any way or time to evacuate. It could serve to shield anyone holding the door close, and prevent anyone from shooting through the window on a door.
Otherwise, it is pretty silly.
 
2013-01-24 08:26:04 PM  
aside from teachers the only other demographic would be nerds, but let's face it if a nerd war ramps up you can forget it, by assault v2.5 they've already moved on to somthing that would vaporize a bullet proof white board.

Besides, after I spend an hour or two working out a problem I would be throwing myself between the shooter and the white board.

Hypnozombie
 
2013-01-24 08:27:15 PM  
Make every room a safe room.
 
2013-01-24 08:28:53 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-24 08:30:52 PM  
Why lock your doors when someone can break through windows, and kick in doors, and derp.
 
2013-01-24 08:33:21 PM  
Dude's going to make a ton of money on this. If it ever saves any lives it'll be worth it.

/Spitballs will also make a great splat when they hit the thing, so there's that.
 
2013-01-24 08:34:07 PM  
Can we make the whole school out of Kevlar?
 
2013-01-24 08:34:19 PM  

vpb: What's asinine?  If we aren't going to do anything to prevent shootings, then teachers might as well try to survive them as best they can.


We are doing something. We are petitioning for teacher concealed carry. Just because it's not your solution doesn't mean it isn't one.

These can be in the classroom as well. Perhaps it can be a students desktop that detaches as a shield. However, without an armed teacher, this is merely a delaying tactic, and not a very good one at that. Maybe she can hold off the shooter till the janitor arrives.
 
2013-01-24 08:39:09 PM  
www.thetruthaboutguns.com
Belligerent H.S. Principal Assell and the school's new English dept are busy preparing the upcoming curriculum.
 
2013-01-24 08:39:45 PM  
This is stupid just do what Joe Biden recommended and buy a shotgun and a box of shells and booby trap the doors with it.
 
2013-01-24 08:39:57 PM  

spacelord321: vpb: What's asinine?  If we aren't going to do anything to prevent shootings, then teachers might as well try to survive them as best they can.

We are doing something. We are petitioning for teacher concealed carry. Just because it's not your solution doesn't mean it isn't one.

These can be in the classroom as well. Perhaps it can be a students desktop that detaches as a shield. However, without an armed teacher, this is merely a delaying tactic, and not a very good one at that. Maybe she can hold off the shooter till the janitor arrives.


...with his mop/bucket of whoop-ass?
 
2013-01-24 08:40:42 PM  
I could see education funds being better spent elsewhere.

Maybe America could pull its dick out of its ass and actually fund proper mental health services?
Naaaah. That's a stupid euro idea.
 
2013-01-24 08:41:12 PM  
How many teachers teach off a handheld whiteboard?
 
2013-01-24 08:42:10 PM  
next up gcc teardrop.c -O3
 
2013-01-24 08:42:38 PM  
How about a Bullet Resistant Polycarbonate shield that surrounds each classroom desk.
 
2013-01-24 08:42:59 PM  

wxboy: How many teachers teach off a handheld whiteboard?


Exactly one, but she's sort of not a teacher. You can tell from the plunging v-neck she's wearing.
 
2013-01-24 08:47:19 PM  

Vangor: 95% of all whiteboards are pieces of garbage which smear and stain rather than erase, and I doubt this will somehow be worth using as a whiteboard.


The whiteboard part is a monomolecular layer of smooth plastic.

Anything can be a good whiteboard.
 
2013-01-24 08:47:23 PM  
Next up: apple grenades

/well, as soon as Apple patents them, anyway
 
2013-01-24 08:48:34 PM  

spacelord321: These can be in the classroom as well. Perhaps it can be a students desktop that detaches as a shield. However, without an armed teacher, this is merely a delaying tactic, and not a very good one at that. Maybe she can hold off the shooter till the janitor arrives.


"In the event a deranged maniac is hellbent on shooting every last one of you in this classroom, your desktop can be used as a shield. Simply unclip the four quick release hinges, pull up firmly, and assume the defensive position we all taught you at last week's assembly."

Glad I'm out of school. This shiat would suck for everyone, students and teachers.
 
2013-01-24 08:50:17 PM  
For the last decade, if not longer, I've heard the Right argue about how teachers are overpaid, how they get three months off so fark them, how they could give a damn less about funding education, and how they could give a damn less about teacher's unions.

Now, all of a sudden, we're supposed to have the money to buy "bullet proof" whiteboards. We can suddenly afford trained security guards for each an every school. Now, the most important characteristic of a teacher is apparently their skill with a firearm and their skill in using it in combat situations.

farking idiots. I'm done trying to reason with any of them.
 
2013-01-24 08:50:41 PM  

spamdog: I could see education funds being better spent elsewhere.

Maybe America could pull its dick out of its ass and actually fund proper mental health services?
Naaaah. That's a stupid euro idea.


Mass shooting only started being a big problem when reagan closed mental hospitals is a talking point I've kind picked up on.

I don't know if I really believe it, but gun laws are stricter, crime's down, yet mass shooting increase.
 
2013-01-24 08:51:03 PM  
Teacher of the future:
captain-america.us
 
2013-01-24 08:53:07 PM  
I don't think the guys at the Onion could've ever predicted this
 
2013-01-24 08:54:19 PM  

born_yesterday: For the last decade, if not longer, I've heard the Right argue about how teachers are overpaid, how they get three months off so fark them, how they could give a damn less about funding education, and how they could give a damn less about teacher's unions.

Now, all of a sudden, we're supposed to have the money to buy "bullet proof" whiteboards. We can suddenly afford trained security guards for each an every school. Now, the most important characteristic of a teacher is apparently their skill with a firearm and their skill in using it in combat situations.

farking idiots. I'm done trying to reason with any of them.


Keep in mind how many armed security guards are minimum wage drones, though. It really fits right in

/Henceforth teachers will be expected to spend their Summers acting as armed security guards at birthday parties, and bar and bat mitzvahs.
 
2013-01-24 08:58:06 PM  

valkore: spacelord321: These can be in the classroom as well. Perhaps it can be a students desktop that detaches as a shield. However, without an armed teacher, this is merely a delaying tactic, and not a very good one at that. Maybe she can hold off the shooter till the janitor arrives.

"In the event a deranged maniac is hellbent on shooting every last one of you in this classroom, your desktop can be used as a shield. Simply unclip the four quick release hinges, pull up firmly, and assume the defensive position we all taught you at last week's assembly."

Glad I'm out of school. This shiat would suck for everyone, students and teachers.


Are you kidding? I can't see a single day going by without at least one boy aged 10-16 in every school starting a removable desktop fight and/or frisbee contest. It's the 2010's Red Scare and nuke drills.
 
2013-01-24 08:58:34 PM  
"It's benign. It's not going to hurt anybody. And we can armor an entire school in days," he said.

I really had to look twice to be sure this wasn't an Onion piece.
 
2013-01-24 08:59:43 PM  
Just put a wild grizzly bear in all schools, and see the shooting rates drop.
 
2013-01-24 09:07:14 PM  
How about not letting mentally unstable democrats have access to firearms?
 
2013-01-24 09:07:28 PM  

born_yesterday: For the last decade, if not longer, I've heard the Right argue about how teachers are overpaid, how they get three months off so fark them, how they could give a damn less about funding education, and how they could give a damn less about teacher's unions.

Now, all of a sudden, we're supposed to have the money to buy "bullet proof" whiteboards. We can suddenly afford trained security guards for each an every school. Now, the most important characteristic of a teacher is apparently their skill with a firearm and their skill in using it in combat situations.

farking idiots. I'm done trying to reason with any of them.


Soapbox=|=reasoning
 
2013-01-24 09:08:36 PM  
Even inner city schools have interactive white boards hooked up to computers now. They aren't going to downgrade.
 
2013-01-24 09:10:40 PM  

doglover: valkore: spacelord321: These can be in the classroom as well. Perhaps it can be a students desktop that detaches as a shield. However, without an armed teacher, this is merely a delaying tactic, and not a very good one at that. Maybe she can hold off the shooter till the janitor arrives.

"In the event a deranged maniac is hellbent on shooting every last one of you in this classroom, your desktop can be used as a shield. Simply unclip the four quick release hinges, pull up firmly, and assume the defensive position we all taught you at last week's assembly."

Glad I'm out of school. This shiat would suck for everyone, students and teachers.

Are you kidding? I can't see a single day going by without at least one boy aged 10-16 in every school starting a removable desktop fight and/or frisbee contest. It's the 2010's Red Scare and nuke drills.


Agreed. Just musing more practical applications.
 
2013-01-24 09:12:01 PM  
Several schools, including two grade schools in Maryland, a high school in North Dakota and the University of Delaware, have already ordered or installed the boards.

static.fjcdn.com
 
2013-01-24 09:14:48 PM  

vpb: What's asinine?  If we aren't going to do anything to prevent shootings, then teachers might as well try to survive them as best they can.


And since we're not allowed to even discuss options that might result in the shooting not taking place at all, we're left with convoluted plans and silly shiat like this. Wonderful.
 
2013-01-24 09:17:00 PM  

spacelord321: doglover: valkore: spacelord321: These can be in the classroom as well. Perhaps it can be a students desktop that detaches as a shield. However, without an armed teacher, this is merely a delaying tactic, and not a very good one at that. Maybe she can hold off the shooter till the janitor arrives.

"In the event a deranged maniac is hellbent on shooting every last one of you in this classroom, your desktop can be used as a shield. Simply unclip the four quick release hinges, pull up firmly, and assume the defensive position we all taught you at last week's assembly."

Glad I'm out of school. This shiat would suck for everyone, students and teachers.

Are you kidding? I can't see a single day going by without at least one boy aged 10-16 in every school starting a removable desktop fight and/or frisbee contest. It's the 2010's Red Scare and nuke drills.

Agreed. Just musing more practical applications.


No, I mean kids would love it.
 
2013-01-24 09:20:22 PM  
assets.nydailynews.com
Come at me bro!!!

/Also, does anyone else think she looks like Blair from the Facts of Life.
//Yeah, I am old, bite me.
 
2013-01-24 09:22:22 PM  

Great_Milenko: vpb: What's asinine?  If we aren't going to do anything to prevent shootings, then teachers might as well try to survive them as best they can.

And since we're not allowed to even discuss options that might result in the shooting not taking place at all, we're left with convoluted plans and silly shiat like this. Wonderful.


yeah this is right next door to . . . who am I kidding. THIS


I will be eternally surprised if anything changes, even if Gabby Giffords DOES raise a metric ass load of money to buy off the other congressional criminals.
 
2013-01-24 09:24:35 PM  
Smeggy Smurf: How about not letting mentally unstable democrats have access to firearms?

in case anyone missed the derp
 
2013-01-24 09:24:38 PM  

scotchcrotch: Can we make the whole school out of Kevlar?


One of the guys here wants to cover the ski mountain in Nerf so people won't have to wear helmets.

/funny
 
2013-01-24 09:24:52 PM  

doglover: spacelord321: doglover: valkore: spacelord321: These can be in the classroom as well. Perhaps it can be a students desktop that detaches as a shield. However, without an armed teacher, this is merely a delaying tactic, and not a very good one at that. Maybe she can hold off the shooter till the janitor arrives.

"In the event a deranged maniac is hellbent on shooting every last one of you in this classroom, your desktop can be used as a shield. Simply unclip the four quick release hinges, pull up firmly, and assume the defensive position we all taught you at last week's assembly."

Glad I'm out of school. This shiat would suck for everyone, students and teachers.

Are you kidding? I can't see a single day going by without at least one boy aged 10-16 in every school starting a removable desktop fight and/or frisbee contest. It's the 2010's Red Scare and nuke drills.

Agreed. Just musing more practical applications.

No, I mean kids would love it.


Of course. A win / win!
 
2013-01-24 09:26:35 PM  
School shootings were rare before we started teaching wussies that they didn't deserve to be bullied.  It just emboldens the little freaks.
 
2013-01-24 09:29:09 PM  

largedon: [assets.nydailynews.com image 635x494]
Come at me bro!!!

/Also, does anyone else think she looks like Blair from the Facts of Life.
//Yeah, I am old, bite me.


Pretty sure she's single now. Do a google.
 
2013-01-24 09:33:38 PM  
But what if the shooter got it first? He'd be nigh invincible!
 
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