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(KTVB Boise)   Telecoms want to get rid of the Do Not Call registry, call you at dinner time   ( ktvb.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Idaho Panhandle  
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10063 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2013 at 5:34 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-01-24 06:12:33 PM  
5 votes:
At my former job we played telemarketer hot potato. I would tell the telemarketer that while I wasn't authorized I could transfer them to someone who was. I would put them on hold for a minute and then transfer them to another person in the office. That person would do the same thing and it would go through several hops before we got bored and it was transferred back to me. I have a very deep voice (Almost Barry White) and the last transfer would be back to me but my coworker would tell them that Shaniqua was the manager and would help them. I would make my voice as deep as possible and say "This is Shanqua, how can I help you?" Nobody ever got past Shaniqua.
2013-01-24 05:55:54 PM  
5 votes:

Uakronkid: serpent_sky:
The other thing that needs to go is CONSTANT mail solicitations. I get at least 10 credit card solicitations a week, AT&T wants me to take UVerse at least 3 times a week, so on and so forth. It drives me crazy - such a waste of paper and postage.

If it has a postage paid return envelope, just rubberband that sucker to a brick and send it back. I guarantee they'll stop mailing you when it costs them $20 in postage every time they send you something.


Does that work? I thought I read somewhere that the post office wouldn't deliver a brick. (could be wrong)

Once every couple of weeks or so (usually while watching Top Gear) I gather all of the unsolicited offers, shuffle the contents around, then stuff the pre-paid envelopes with other random offers and send them back. Sometimes I include little random gift like the tattered UNO card my ferret pulled out of the heat register or a coupon for cat food the grocery store included with my receipt. Just to brighten the mail workers day.
2013-01-24 05:44:54 PM  
5 votes:

serpent_sky: I love the do not call list. I felt bad hanging up on/yelling at people just doing a shiatty job, but I also hated being bothered, especially after telling them 10 times previously to remove me from their list.  My office is inundated by annoying calls for services we don't want and "take us off your list" does not work on them, either.

The other thing that needs to go is CONSTANT mail solicitations. I get at least 10 credit card solicitations a week, AT&T wants me to take UVerse at least 3 times a week, so on and so forth. It drives me crazy - such a waste of paper and postage.


I kinda' miss the live telemarketers vs the robo calls I get now. It just isn't the same trying to creep out a robot by asking "hey there, what are you wearing ?" and sleazing on them until they hang up.
2013-01-24 05:47:07 PM  
4 votes:
I used to gets lots of telemarketing calls, but when I started answering the phone as if I was calling a sex line they started to decline. Now I hardly get any telemarketing calls at all.

/I'm so lonely :(
2013-01-24 05:38:08 PM  
3 votes:
FTFA: "The companies say a 2000 law to end cold calls to customers and create a "Do Not Call" list hampers their ability to market new services to new customers."

That's the point assholes.
2013-01-24 06:00:12 PM  
2 votes:
We used to get a lot of calls from a certain company that has very rude, aggressive people on the phones. This was at work. They would demand the bosses cell number, act like they knew him, etc. The girl that answers the phone would never give it out, who would? They would then start cussing her out until she hung up. She's got some thick skin, so she would just put down the phone and mutter something about farking assholes. I had to cover the phone for her one day and of course got the call. When they demanded the bosses cell I gave them the rejection hotline. Man, when he called back I was farking rolling. He was so damned pissed. Calling me all sorts of shiat.

/csb
//look up your local rejection hotline. keep it handy.
2013-01-24 05:51:45 PM  
2 votes:
Just keep saying hello over and over again any time they say anything, but do it in a way that makes it sound like you have like 50 personalities
2013-01-24 09:22:42 PM  
1 vote:
My latest fun thing to do is ask if they believe that Jesus Christ is their lord and savior. If I can get them to say yes, I tell them that there is no god, they are gullible, would a good god let so many children starve every day, would a good god let women be raped, would a good god let people shoot other people, etc. etc. They hang up pretty quickly.
2013-01-24 08:11:12 PM  
1 vote:
I once called a local newspaper's "tip line" and told them there was a certain newspaper that ignored the "Do Not Call" list and kept calling me.


That actually worked.
2013-01-24 08:08:09 PM  
1 vote:
I'm sure they do, and they can go fark themselves.
2013-01-24 07:57:48 PM  
1 vote:

red230: I respond with "I'm sorry, I don't speak any English"


When I lived in Argentina, I'd do a similar thing and say "No Eee-span-yol" and I would speak in a very exaggerated tone. They stopped calling after 1-2 times.

Had a guy come up to me on the street and start barking Spanish at me in a disapproving way, pointing at my legs (wearing shorts at the time). I said, "No Eee-span-yol." He fluently asked, "Do you speak English?" I said, "No." Then he left me alone.
2013-01-24 06:51:48 PM  
1 vote:
You call center f*ckers could cold call these guys or maybe just go up to their gated community and try to blam blam blam blam. Ooops. sorry about the landmines.
i.imgur.com
2013-01-24 06:48:31 PM  
1 vote:
IRQ12: By the way being a dick to the telemarketer for no reason does nothing to dissuade the people paying them. Don't blame the poor person making minimum wage for just doing what pays them to eat.

www.libertystickers.com

It's apart of the job they accepted. Like working retail and hating the hours.

My wife has cousins in Kansas who do nothing but biatch about how there are no jobs nor opportunities around them, but refuse to move elsewhere to where reasonable employment is. Our ancestors came across vast oceans for better opportunities, your asses can do the same and move to the city.
2013-01-24 06:47:32 PM  
1 vote:

i2.kym-cdn.com

2013-01-24 06:22:09 PM  
1 vote:
Another way we'd mess with the telemarketers at my job is to sit and listen to their pitch and when they stop to ask me something I respond with "I'm sorry, I don't speak any English". It usually stops them dead in their tracks but sometimes they'll ask more questions and they get the "I'm sorry, I still don't speak English" response. We also set up a line that played the Rickroll song non stop and told the telemarketers that we were transferring them to the managers voicemail.
2013-01-24 06:16:33 PM  
1 vote:
Wait, people still have land lines? At home?

That's cute. Do you still have pocket watches and send telegrams to the family at Christmas, as well?
2013-01-24 06:05:12 PM  
1 vote:

Bathia_Mapes: The bill is being pushed by Minnesota-based Frontier Communications and Louisiana-based Century Link Inc. The companies say a 2000 law to end cold calls to customers and create a "Do Not Call" list hampers their ability to market new services to new customers.


Boy, they caught on to that in no time.
2013-01-24 06:02:46 PM  
1 vote:
FTFA Lobbyist and former Idaho Rep. Jim Clark says the bill gives customers the ability to opt-out from solicitation calls.

static4.fjcdn.com
2013-01-24 05:59:57 PM  
1 vote:

Skyd1v: Uakronkid: serpent_sky:
The other thing that needs to go is CONSTANT mail solicitations. I get at least 10 credit card solicitations a week, AT&T wants me to take UVerse at least 3 times a week, so on and so forth. It drives me crazy - such a waste of paper and postage.

If it has a postage paid return envelope, just rubberband that sucker to a brick and send it back. I guarantee they'll stop mailing you when it costs them $20 in postage every time they send you something.

Does that work? I thought I read somewhere that the post office wouldn't deliver a brick. (could be wrong)

Once every couple of weeks or so (usually while watching Top Gear) I gather all of the unsolicited offers, shuffle the contents around, then stuff the pre-paid envelopes with other random offers and send them back. Sometimes I include little random gift like the tattered UNO card my ferret pulled out of the heat register or a coupon for cat food the grocery store included with my receipt. Just to brighten the mail workers day.


It's sheet metal for pre-paid postage envelopes.

If it's a postcard, draw Satanist symbols, verses, and write a dark blessing to the CEO.
2013-01-24 05:59:01 PM  
1 vote:

lewismarktwo: I hardly ever get cold calls, but someone has been using my number at, of all places, car dealerships. I guess they want to test drive the car and not get callbacks, but it's happened like 5 times now.


About 5 years ago, someone listed my number in an auto trader magazine. After telling two people they had the wrong number only to have them dial back immediately (guess they thought they fat-fingered the number), it occurred to me that the best way to keep these people from calling back is to make them not want whatever they're calling about. So the next three or four calls went something like this:

"Hi, I'm calling about the Tempo you have listed in the classifieds..."

"Erm. Yeah. I'm afraid I can't sell it now. Seems the fuel injector got stuck and the resulting backfire blew the muffler up through the trunk and into the neighbor's yard. Need to get that fixed...."

Not a single person called back.

Fortunately, only a handful of people ever called about the car (who'd want a Tempo anyway?)...
2013-01-24 05:55:21 PM  
1 vote:
Keep a soundboard handy.
2013-01-24 05:52:04 PM  
1 vote:
I only get one robocall regularly but it's from a cruise line and starts with a foghorn. Why the blue fark do they think that's going to get me to do anything but hang up immediately?
2013-01-24 05:51:39 PM  
1 vote:

Uakronkid: serpent_sky:
The other thing that needs to go is CONSTANT mail solicitations. I get at least 10 credit card solicitations a week, AT&T wants me to take UVerse at least 3 times a week, so on and so forth. It drives me crazy - such a waste of paper and postage.

If it has a postage paid return envelope, just rubberband that sucker to a brick and send it back. I guarantee they'll stop mailing you when it costs them $20 in postage every time they send you something.


My apartment manager might find it suspicious if I'm seen pushing a wheelbarrow full of bricks into the elevator.
2013-01-24 05:49:43 PM  
1 vote:

SpaceBison: I used to gets lots of telemarketing calls, but when I started answering the phone as if I was calling a sex line they started to decline. Now I hardly get any telemarketing calls at all.

/I'm so lonely :(


Awwww.

/what are you wearing?
2013-01-24 05:48:30 PM  
1 vote:
In Idaho. So you may continue not panicking.
2013-01-24 05:47:08 PM  
1 vote:

serpent_sky:
The other thing that needs to go is CONSTANT mail solicitations. I get at least 10 credit card solicitations a week, AT&T wants me to take UVerse at least 3 times a week, so on and so forth. It drives me crazy - such a waste of paper and postage.


If it has a postage paid return envelope, just rubberband that sucker to a brick and send it back. I guarantee they'll stop mailing you when it costs them $20 in postage every time they send you something.
2013-01-24 05:44:46 PM  
1 vote:
I've got a better idea, let's get rid of the Telecoms, instead.
2013-01-24 05:38:56 PM  
1 vote:
I hardly ever get cold calls, but someone has been using my number at, of all places, car dealerships. I guess they want to test drive the car and not get callbacks, but it's happened like 5 times now.
2013-01-24 05:37:33 PM  
1 vote:

Bathia_Mapes: Elandriel: Bathia_Mapes: FTA...The bill is being pushed by Minnesota-based Frontier Communications and Louisiana-based Century Link Inc. The companies say a 2000 law to end cold calls to customers and create a "Do Not Call" list hampers their ability to market new services to new customers.

Yeah, that worked so well when Qwest (now CenturyLink) was my phone & DSL provider. They hired third party telemarketers that called weekly, trying to get me to upgrade to a phone/DSL/satellite TV package. Granted it was a good deal, but we had already had both DirecTV (which was what Qwest offered) and Dish come out and they both determined that there was no line-of-sight due to the large trees on the apartment complex's property.

I finally ended up threatening both Qwest and their telemarketing firm with legal action if they didn't stop harassing me. I shouldn't have to tell them the same thing week after week as to why satellite TV wasn't an option where I live.

I'd say CSB but actually this is pretty spot-on.  We had the same problem with Qwest in MN regarding "activating long-distance service" which we didn't need because we had cell phones.  Ended up telling them if they called again I would conference in our lawyer and have him lay out exactly how much we were going to request in compensation.  Didn't hear from them after that.

In any case I don't think eliminating the Do-Not-Call Registry would play well across the electorate when they are suddenly inundated with telemarketing calls at all hours of the day.

I also got rhw "activating long-distance service" calls, which I had no need of. Other than the occasional 1-800 number, I don't make long distance calls. Qwest seemed to have a hard time understanding that, but as least they backed off about that much quicker than the satellite crap. This was well before I had a cell phone, but I'm not getting a service I have no need for.


Did you try this:
www.vanguardmil.com
Blow the cock farking sucker's ear drums out.

fark telemarketers
2013-01-24 05:36:01 PM  
1 vote:
[obvious]
 
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