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(Opposing Views)   Shoplifting tip: don't try to steal 56 items in one trip   (opposingviews.com) divider line 41
    More: Dumbass, Nicole Golden, Wal-Mart, household goods  
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6076 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2013 at 3:42 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-24 02:28:01 PM  
cbswzgc.files.wordpress.com
"... what?"
 
2013-01-24 03:45:15 PM  
She was "Totes" Guilty
 
2013-01-24 03:46:49 PM  
She didn't try to steal just 56; it was nearly 100.

I think we're still safe with 56.
 
2013-01-24 03:47:05 PM  
biatch couldn't shoplift some frecking Clearasil or Proactive???
 
2013-01-24 03:47:27 PM  
csb
that ain't shiat

busted guy once that stole near 200 cd's

/csb
 
2013-01-24 03:47:42 PM  
Faces of Meth
 
2013-01-24 03:47:57 PM  
That's meth acne...

/Don't ask
 
2013-01-24 03:48:29 PM  
Gah! Can't find a screenshot of Bender (Futurama) trying to steal all those cans of Mom's Robot Oil.
 
2013-01-24 03:50:38 PM  
I bet she tried to go through the express shoplifting lane, too. The biatch.
 
2013-01-24 03:52:27 PM  
Go big or go home...

unless it's last call. Then just go home and rub one out.
 
2013-01-24 03:53:43 PM  
I don't even think you can carry that much at one time in Skyrim.
 
2013-01-24 03:56:18 PM  

EkimProx: I don't even think you can carry that much at one time in Skyrim.


Well you can, but that's why you get caught. You're walking reeeeeally sloooow.
 
2013-01-24 03:57:04 PM  
What about paperclips?
 
2013-01-24 03:57:08 PM  

EkimProx: I don't even think you can carry that much at one time in Skyrim.


I used to shoplift too, but then I took an arrow to the knee
 
2013-01-24 03:57:25 PM  
Bobbing for french fries?
www.opposingviews.com
 
2013-01-24 04:11:57 PM  
www.rankopedia.com
 
2013-01-24 04:19:04 PM  
Considering the damage Wal-Mart has done to small town economies they should be forced to adopt a pay-if-you-feel-like-it policy.
 
2013-01-24 04:24:58 PM  
She didn't just give in. Just as simple as that. When she wants some dinner and she don't wanna pay for it. Just walk right throught the door. Walk right throught the door. Hey allright. She gets by....
 
2013-01-24 04:29:09 PM  
FTA: Related: Video: Burglar Gregory Bruni Held at Gunpoint by Homeowners, Masturbates, Defecates in House
 
2013-01-24 04:30:13 PM  
Loss Prevention at my store once caught a lady trying to make off with $5,500 worth of goods. She had a cart loaded down with reusable bags, all of them stuffed full of cosmetics, jewelry and assorted small apparel items. She got charged with grand theft (and also assault, she elbowed one employee in the face).
 
2013-01-24 04:32:15 PM  

Lachwen: Loss Prevention at my store once caught a lady trying to make off with $5,500 worth of goods. She had a cart loaded down with reusable bags, all of them stuffed full of cosmetics, jewelry and assorted small apparel items. She got charged with grand theft (and also assault, she elbowed one employee in the face).


I feel the need now to point out that I don't work at Wal-Mart. I work for Fred Meyer, which is owned (unfortunately) by Kroger.
 
2013-01-24 04:34:08 PM  
That's more terrible than 40 cakes.
 
2013-01-24 04:37:58 PM  

Lachwen:
I feel the need now to point out that I don't work at Wal-Mart. I work for Fred Meyer, which is owned (unfortunately) by Kroger.


You don't like our benevolent Ohioan overlords?

/QFC employee
 
2013-01-24 04:53:07 PM  
Wow - She doesn't have the money to pay for the stuff she stole - but was able to come with $2500 for Jail Bond???
 
2013-01-24 05:18:39 PM  
The shopping cart contained 56 articles of clothing, 25 various household goods, two cellphones and a child car seat, according to an Athens-Clarke police report.

And no beer?
s9.postimage.org
At least a 12-pack.
 
2013-01-24 05:24:15 PM  
How big were the items?

Seems like if you're going to risk getting busted, you'd want to make as much as possible from one attempt.
 
2013-01-24 05:29:59 PM  

diaphoresis: That's meth acne...

/Don't ask


Hmm, the article I got linked doesn't have a picture of her.  Which, since reading the comments here, I think I don't wanna see.
 
2013-01-24 05:35:21 PM  
"A Walmart loss prevention officer said that someone alerted him to a woman who was stuffing merchandise into "totes," large plastic containers with lids."

Someone wasn't doing their job
 
2013-01-24 06:16:36 PM  

peterthx: Gah! Can't find a screenshot of Bender (Futurama) trying to steal all those cans of Mom's Robot Oil.


farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2013-01-24 06:27:47 PM  

Cthulhu_is_my_homeboy: How big were the items?

Seems like if you're going to risk getting busted, you'd want to make as much as possible from one attempt.


Except the likelihood of getting busted is roughly inversely proportional to the value of the goods you steal.
 
2013-01-24 06:31:55 PM  
Once, while in a shady supermarket in a shady neighborhood in a shady area of NJ, a large woman in an oddly-shaped coat was making her way to the door when three canned hams fell out. She looked around frantically for a second, then yelled "WHO!? WHO THROWIN' CANNED HAMS AT ME?"

Greatest shoplifting attempt I've ever seen. Oddly enough, her cunning plan didn't work.

/unCSB
 
2013-01-24 06:41:43 PM  

Hitomi Tanaka's Paperweights: Once, while in a shady supermarket in a shady neighborhood in a shady area of NJ, a large woman in an oddly-shaped coat was making her way to the door when three canned hams fell out. She looked around frantically for a second, then yelled "WHO!? WHO THROWIN' CANNED HAMS AT ME?"

Greatest shoplifting attempt I've ever seen. Oddly enough, her cunning plan didn't work.

/unCSB


Plausible story, I have canned ham thrown at me constantly.
 
2013-01-24 06:42:58 PM  
or at least use the 10 items or less stealing line
 
2013-01-24 06:49:46 PM  

MayoSlather: Plausible story, I have canned ham thrown at me constantly.


Must be a goy thing. All I ever get is bagels.
 
2013-01-24 07:56:41 PM  
Scary thing is that she has probably gotten away with it before
 
2013-01-24 07:57:42 PM  
Such a sad story really
Why did I laugh
 
2013-01-24 08:08:18 PM  
Unless you're stealing rice.
 
2013-01-24 08:22:24 PM  
Box stuffing in totes is nothing new...anything you can stuff works...I've seen $8000 worth of product come out if a vanity box.
 
2013-01-24 08:53:10 PM  

farbekrieg: peterthx: Gah! Can't find a screenshot of Bender (Futurama) trying to steal all those cans of Mom's Robot Oil.

[farm5.staticflickr.com image 240x150]


LOL, yeah, saw that one.

I was looking for the one where he's caught and cans of oil keep falling to the floor from his sweater.
 
2013-01-25 12:43:47 AM  
You could steal 56 items if they were really small.

I think our record at Disneyland was around $6000 (it was quite some time ago), mostly in pens, keychains and hats. But they made several trips.
 
2013-01-25 03:26:06 AM  

OMMF: Lachwen:
I feel the need now to point out that I don't work at Wal-Mart. I work for Fred Meyer, which is owned (unfortunately) by Kroger.

You don't like our benevolent Ohioan overlords?

/QFC employee


I really, really don't.

They maintain the thermostats for all of our stores in the Kroger corporate offices in Cincinnati. This includes the Fred Meyer location in Anchorage, Alaska. Someone in Cincinnati decides what temperature the store in Anchorage should be. Is that level of micro-management really necessary?

(We're also in the middle of contract negotiations right now. The offers they're making us are walking the knife-edge between "laughable" and "insulting.")
 
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