If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Smoking Gun)   Woman pulls three knives on two who live "two trailers over" after her dream threesome failed to materialize   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 106
    More: Asinine, Knox County, Edward Sabatino, A Maine  
•       •       •

16441 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2013 at 1:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



106 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-24 12:30:13 PM
don'tbeAlabamadon'tbeAlabamadon'tbeAlabama

Whew
 
2013-01-24 12:31:55 PM
www.reactionface.info
 
2013-01-24 12:32:16 PM
This is why tornadoes favor trailer parks

/all that suck in one place attracts them
 
2013-01-24 12:32:52 PM

Krymson Tyde: don'tbeAlabamadon'tbeAlabamadon'tbeAlabama

Whew


Nah, in Alabama, she'd have gotten her threesome.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-01-24 12:34:55 PM
If we deskew the ages to put me in the man's position, it would be a 30-something woman who looks 40 coming over for a threesome with me and my 20 year old female roommate.  So I don't know what to think.
 
2013-01-24 12:41:55 PM
That's a rough-looking 44 right there.
 
2013-01-24 01:14:37 PM
Meth.  It's a hell of a drug

...but perhaps not strong enough to include her in a threesome.
 
2013-01-24 01:23:41 PM
Does anything good ever happen "two trailers over"?
 
2013-01-24 01:26:34 PM
Sticking your dick in crazy, damned if you do, damned if you don't.
 
2013-01-24 01:41:49 PM
There is a fine line between threesome and gruesome and this seahag dries her support hose on it.
 
2013-01-24 01:58:07 PM

Nabb1: Krymson Tyde: don'tbeAlabamadon'tbeAlabamadon'tbeAlabama

Whew

Nah, in Alabama, she'd have gotten her threesome.


Damn right!

No, wait
 
2013-01-24 01:58:49 PM
The amount of alcohol that would let me get the courage to see that naked exceeds the amount necessary to kill Henry Earl
 
2013-01-24 01:59:48 PM
the 30 year old other woman

http://www.facebook.com/SHAWNA.M.CHICKERING?ref=ts&fref=ts

meh.. not bad catch for a 56 year old dude.
 
2013-01-24 02:02:01 PM
The town of "Friendship" lol
 
2013-01-24 02:02:35 PM
i.imgur.com
That's a hard goddamn 44.
 
2013-01-24 02:02:38 PM
44? Did she start counting again from zero when she got to 25?
 
2013-01-24 02:02:52 PM
Hey, I've been in a firefight before!

Well, I was in a fire.

Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity.
 
2013-01-24 02:03:06 PM
WHOA!
Pretty rough 40 y/o

that face would make a freight train back up and take a dirt road
 
2013-01-24 02:03:17 PM

kvinesknows: the 30 year old other woman

http://www.facebook.com/SHAWNA.M.CHICKERING?ref=ts&fref=ts

meh.. not bad catch for a 56 year old dude.


Ha... she's friends with someone named "Krystal Poison"
 
2013-01-24 02:04:57 PM

Smeggy Smurf: The amount of alcohol that would let me get the courage to see that naked exceeds the amount necessary to kill Henry Earl


Yeah, alcohol can't fix that - by the time you've drank enough to want to, you won't be able to.
 
2013-01-24 02:06:18 PM
I have a childhood friend who's dad is named Edward Sabatino...

/getting a kick...
//article emailed to said friend for lulz
 
2013-01-24 02:06:32 PM

dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.


Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.
 
2013-01-24 02:06:52 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
Betcha you're regrettin' being the dark meat in THAT sandwich, Crab-Man!

Mr. Turtle just climbed deep into his shell! And by that I mean my penis just retreated into my body cavity - with both balls!
 
2013-01-24 02:07:18 PM
Gonna need a bigger threat than a couple knives to get that threesom started. shiat she might have to bring a tank.
 
2013-01-24 02:08:28 PM
Same first name as me and 10 years older. She's a hard 44. That makes my day.
 
2013-01-24 02:08:40 PM
If that smirk is any indication, she's confident that she'll get some in jail.
 
2013-01-24 02:09:41 PM
I would hope that in my life the phrase "two trailers over" never occurs.
 
2013-01-24 02:11:40 PM
Can we double check that's a woman before "she" gets sent to the lady jail?
 
2013-01-24 02:12:06 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: This is why tornadoes favor trailer parks

/all that suck in one place attracts them


Indeed; I'd postulate that trailer parks are as close as it is possible to get to a full-vacuum.

/ you never go full-vacuum
 
2013-01-24 02:12:13 PM
Between this and the Zumba prostitute scandal I think Maine may qualify to be the Florida of the Northeast.
 
2013-01-24 02:12:34 PM

Altitude5280: Same first name as me and 10 years older. She's a hard 44. That makes my day.

To clarify, I'M ten years older than her.
 
2013-01-24 02:12:55 PM

LeroyBourne: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.

Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.


Thatsamanbaby.jpg
 
2013-01-24 02:12:59 PM
The Aristocrats?
 
2013-01-24 02:17:14 PM

LeroyBourne: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.

Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.


Uhhh...66" is 5'6" in most of God's country. I don't know where you got your book learnin from.
 
2013-01-24 02:17:18 PM
Awesome. I'm curiou..... Gahhhhhhh
 
2013-01-24 02:18:12 PM

LeroyBourne: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.

Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.


67", or 5' 7"

Still, she may not be an Amazon, but I wouldn't want a crazy meth head coming at me with knives.
 
2013-01-24 02:18:56 PM

LeroyBourne: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.

Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.


o.O

Not sure if serious
 
2013-01-24 02:20:09 PM
I have a 54 year old neighbor that looks 10 years YOUNGER than her. Good grief!
 
2013-01-24 02:20:31 PM
Okay...If she wasn't a freakin' meth-head, I'd probably hit it.
 
2013-01-24 02:21:17 PM

I_Am_Weasel: Meth.  It's a hell of a drug

...but perhaps not strong enough to include her in a threesome.


Oh I don't, someone here that I know by reputation raped two goats so hard he had blood splattered down the front of him when the cops tracked him down. It was after he had been up for two weeks allegedly but still...
 
2013-01-24 02:22:34 PM

LeroyBourne: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.

Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.


67" > 6'6"? Does your ruled go to 11 there Nigel? Maybe try it in doubly.
 
2013-01-24 02:22:42 PM

Pick: I have a 54 year old neighbor that looks 10 years YOUNGER than her. Good grief!


I've seen an Egyptian mummy in the museum that looks 10 years YOUNGER than her.
 
2013-01-24 02:23:50 PM

schoolbread: I_Am_Weasel: Meth.  It's a hell of a drug

...but perhaps not strong enough to include her in a threesome.

Oh I don't, someone here that I know by reputation raped two goats so hard he had blood splattered down the front of him when the cops tracked him down. It was after he had been up for two weeks allegedly but still...


O_O

This thread is getting worser than imagined
 
2013-01-24 02:23:53 PM
"ruler"

gawddangitsomuch
 
2013-01-24 02:24:11 PM
Why three knives? I assume she learned to throw them at once.
With the knives equipped hold down triangle. It will auto target 3 nearby enemies (they'll shine white).
An easy method to get the trophy is to either use this against the groups of guards at the beginning of the game in Masyaf, or find a Templar Emissary, which show up when your Templar awareness is high, and use it against him and his two guards.
 
2013-01-24 02:24:17 PM
From the left side of the article:
i.cdn.turner.com
Alt text - "threesome"


/pedobear.jpg
 
2013-01-24 02:25:38 PM
i.cdn.turner.com

Hi! I am a youthful 44 yro SF looking for a fun time with the right guy or couple. I'm finished with the bar/jail scene. Outgoing, perky and easy to get along with. No mind games. Clean and safe preferred but if your outbreak cycles are more than 45 days apart, let's talk! Looking for the right type who want to have fun and enjoy life. My trailer or yours!
 
2013-01-24 02:25:39 PM

brap: There is a fine line between threesome and gruesome and this seahag dries her support hose on it.


That is one of the best things I have ever read. Farker of the Day, +1 for you my friend.
 
2013-01-24 02:30:31 PM
Holy shiat, she was in a movie!

www.thefilmyap.com
 
2013-01-24 02:31:37 PM

WinoRhino: kvinesknows: the 30 year old other woman

http://www.facebook.com/SHAWNA.M.CHICKERING?ref=ts&fref=ts

meh.. not bad catch for a 56 year old dude.

Ha... she's friends with someone named "Krystal Poison"


...And she just friended a "Courtney Shallow". Good circle of friends, there.
 
2013-01-24 02:32:23 PM
Anyone else get the feeling that this probably isn't first this would had picture taken for a mugshot?
 
2013-01-24 02:33:40 PM

Harry Freakstorm: [i.cdn.turner.com image 400x500]

Hi! I am a youthful 44 yro SF looking for a fun time with the right guy or couple. I'm finished with the bar/jail scene. Outgoing, perky and easy to get along with. No mind games. Clean and safe preferred but if your outbreak cycles are more than 45 days apart, let's talk! Looking for the right type who want to have fun and enjoy life. My trailer or yours!


Word perfect. Now how to get the coffee out of my keyboard. Hmmm...
 
2013-01-24 02:34:34 PM

Marshal805: Anyone else get the feeling that this probably isn't first time this woman would have had her picture taken for a mugshot?


Preview is my friend.
 
2013-01-24 02:35:43 PM

Marshal805: Anyone else get the feeling that this probably isn't first this would had picture taken for a mugshot?


The words. They are all recognizable but not in this configuration. o.O
 
2013-01-24 02:37:05 PM
Why...why THREE knives? Did she hold one in her teeth pirate style, or was the minge in on the threats?
 
2013-01-24 02:37:32 PM

Farce-Side: LeroyBourne: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.

Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.

Uhhh...66" is 5'6" in most of God's country. I don't know where you got your book learnin from.


I've never been arrested before, I didn't know it went by inches.  Besides, she manly enough to be that kind of high tower.  But thank you, I learned something today.
 
2013-01-24 02:39:20 PM
On the one hand... EEEEEEEP.

On the other hand... threesome...

You'd HAVE to consider it, at least for a moment...
 
2013-01-24 02:40:03 PM

maudibjr: I would hope that in my life the phrase "two trailers over" never occurs.


"So I'm making a movie on the Fox lot and Ann Hathaway calls to tell me she's waiting in naked anticipation for me in her trailer, which is only two trailers over! Score!"
 
2013-01-24 02:40:06 PM
Dear Penthouse,

I never thought it would happen to me....
 
2013-01-24 02:44:28 PM
Why was she arrested? Its not like she used a gun or something, only guns kill
 
2013-01-24 02:44:41 PM

Private_Citizen: Smeggy Smurf: The amount of alcohol that would let me get the courage to see that naked exceeds the amount necessary to kill Henry Earl

Yeah, alcohol can't fix that - by the time you've drank enough to want to, you won't be able to.


Whiskey dick once saved me from making a mistake. On a scale of 1 to 10 when I saw her a couple weeks later and sober I'd give her about a -2
 
2013-01-24 02:45:03 PM
 
2013-01-24 02:45:48 PM
I'm guessing dentures and you haven't lived until you had a trailer park gum job.

/ I wish I was kidding.
 
2013-01-24 02:46:59 PM
She looks awfully proud...
 
2013-01-24 02:48:10 PM

Harry Freakstorm: [i.cdn.turner.com image 400x500]

Hi! I am a youthful 44 yro SF looking for a fun time with the right guy or couple. I'm finished with the bar/jail scene. Outgoing, perky and easy to get along with. No mind games. Clean and safe preferred but if your outbreak cycles are more than 45 days apart, let's talk! Looking for the right type who want to have fun and enjoy life. My trailer or yours!


If you have beer, I'm there.
 
2013-01-24 02:48:51 PM
All she needs is "Anti-wrinkle cream made out of foreskins"
 
2013-01-24 02:49:59 PM
Katolu


She looks awfully proud...
 
2013-01-24 02:50:04 PM

cig-mkr: All she needs is "Anti-wrinkle cream made out of foreskins"


Ain't enough dicks in the world to skin-over that much ugly!
 
2013-01-24 02:50:17 PM

Joe Blowme: Why was she arrested? Its not like she used a gun or something, only guns kill


stop it.
 
2013-01-24 02:51:56 PM

Marshal805: Anyone else get the feeling that this probably isn't first this would had picture taken for a mugshot?


They need to do away instain neighbor.
 
2013-01-24 02:52:32 PM

reillan: On the one hand... EEEEEEEP.

On the other hand... threesome...

You'd HAVE to consider it, at least for a moment...


Tried it (threesome) a few different times, with a few different partners/mixes.

Meh, at best. I found it exceedingly awkward, 2 of the 3 other women that were involved did too. Too many body parts. The 2 guys who were involved at different times one found it awkward, one was very, very happy.

/not saying it's at all a bad thing
//just not MY thing
///yes, I'm probably doing it wrong
 
2013-01-24 02:53:21 PM

dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.


Sounds like she was the only hard thing in that trailer.
 
2013-01-24 02:53:36 PM

Harry Freakstorm: [i.cdn.turner.com image 400x500]

Hi! I am a youthful 44 yro SF looking for a fun time with the right guy or couple. I'm finished with the bar/jail scene. Outgoing, perky and easy to get along with. No mind games. Clean and safe preferred but if your outbreak cycles are more than 45 days apart, let's talk! Looking for the right type who want to have fun and enjoy life. My trailer or yours!


Holy moly, I can see that oldfarthenry's remark about the mummy is accurate when looking at that thing.
 
2013-01-24 02:54:17 PM
Someone's going to get poked one way or the other!!!!
 
2013-01-24 02:56:00 PM

gambitsgirl: Marshal805: Anyone else get the feeling that this probably isn't first this would had picture taken for a mugshot?

The words. They are all recognizable but not in this configuration. o.O


Agree he does
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-24 02:56:24 PM

Brick-House: Could have been worse...


She and the meth-head from today's story are the threesome you get in Hell.

/At least it would seem like Hell.
//There will also be Monistat and Valtrex served.
 
2013-01-24 02:57:08 PM
all this way and no

ITS A MAN BABY?
 
2013-01-24 02:59:34 PM
I'd bet money that she's a heavy smoker.
 
2013-01-24 03:02:31 PM

Well I use Mac/Linux...: Marshal805: Anyone else get the feeling that this probably isn't first this would had picture taken for a mugshot?

They need to do away instain neighbor.


But who was phone??
 
2013-01-24 03:04:59 PM

Brick-House: Could have been worse...


AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Now my brain hurts....

How will I ever forget this (and the picture of the woman next to it)

However, as Watson approached Williams, "he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams." Watson, understandably, "declined to proceed any further."
 
2013-01-24 03:09:19 PM
i.cdn.turner.com

Willem Dafoe has really let himself go.
 
2013-01-24 03:11:22 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-24 03:13:41 PM
Jesus, it's goon from the movie Rocketeer!

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-24 03:13:42 PM
Nightmares still count as dreams technically.
 
2013-01-24 03:15:03 PM

deanis: Joe Blowme: Why was she arrested? Its not like she used a gun or something, only guns kill

stop it.


Sorry, couldn't help myself after watching the Feinstein derp the hill today.
 
2013-01-24 03:25:32 PM
media.comicvine.com

Triple wielding > dual wielding.

/at least that's where I HOPE the third knife was
 
2013-01-24 03:27:54 PM
She was probably as pretty as Maria Louise Del Rosario (Butthole Tattoo Girl), once long ago; age does a number on everyone. Drugs do worse. Maybe some jail time will calm her down. And an investment in some batteries.
 
2013-01-24 03:36:56 PM

Brick-House: Could have been worse...


*HORK*
Egad!
 
2013-01-24 04:04:51 PM
 
2013-01-24 04:27:38 PM
What does a divorce in Maine have in common with a tornado disaster?

Somehow, somebody is losing a trailer.

\ Here all week.
 
2013-01-24 04:30:47 PM
th08.deviantart.net
 
2013-01-24 04:58:54 PM

Altitude5280: Altitude5280: Same first name as me and 10 years older. She's a hard 44. That makes my day.
To clarify, I'M ten years older than her.


Really, your pic makes you look like a pussy.
 
2013-01-24 05:01:11 PM

LeroyBourne: Farce-Side: LeroyBourne: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.

Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.

Uhhh...66" is 5'6" in most of God's country. I don't know where you got your book learnin from.

I've never been arrested before, I didn't know it went by inches.  Besides, she manly enough to be that kind of high tower.  But thank you, I learned something today.


The series 57..60..63..66 is kind of a clue that it isn't in feet and inches even if you don't know that.
 
2013-01-24 05:04:22 PM

xria: LeroyBourne: Farce-Side: LeroyBourne: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.

Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.

Uhhh...66" is 5'6" in most of God's country. I don't know where you got your book learnin from.

I've never been arrested before, I didn't know it went by inches.  Besides, she manly enough to be that kind of high tower.  But thank you, I learned something today.

The series 57..60..63..66 is kind of a clue that it isn't in feet and inches even if you don't know that.


Thank you. You have reaffirmed my faith in humanity.
 
2013-01-24 05:05:34 PM

JesseL: From the left side of the article:
i.cdn.turner.com
Alt text - "threesome"
/pedobear.jpg


I count 3 adult feet and 3 little feet! Threesome may not be the right phrase.
 
2013-01-24 06:24:13 PM
When I went to the article, the ad at the top of the page was for that Lizard Lick show.

That has to be on purpose.
 
2013-01-24 06:50:14 PM

Sybarite: Does anything good ever happen "two trailers over"?


The very special things happen under that trailer's skirt.
 
2013-01-24 07:00:22 PM
I partied in a few trailer parks, they're loney dark places.
 
2013-01-24 07:33:15 PM

theesir: Brick-House: Could have been worse...

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!

Now my brain hurts....

How will I ever forget this (and the picture of the woman next to it)

However, as Watson approached Williams, "he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams." Watson, understandably, "declined to proceed any further."


Came in to post this and found my work done already.

/Thanks!
//And I'm sorry
 
2013-01-24 07:43:26 PM
NO ONE would Fark that!!!
 
2013-01-24 10:57:23 PM
That's a man, baby!
 
2013-01-24 11:12:09 PM
verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-25 12:04:26 AM
BunkoSquad:

That's a rough-looking 44 right there.

If that's the best I can get I'd rather wank.

Then again, that's what she said.
 
2013-01-25 12:31:48 AM

LeroyBourne: dahmers love zombie: [i.imgur.com image 400x500]
That's a hard goddamn 44.

Dude, she's over 6'6''. Forget the knives, she could have just raped the pair.


Your math is wrong.

/not that she doesn't look like a man
/shudder
 
2013-01-25 07:47:58 AM

Satan's Bunny Slippers: ///yes, I'm probably doing it wrong


Are you a physicist? :)
 
2013-01-25 10:50:21 AM

ku4a: The town of "Friendship" lol


She was looking for more than just friendship.

Ba dum tsss.
 
Displayed 106 of 106 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report