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(MLive.com)   High school kid who put semen in breath mints pleads guilty, but will have record sealed. Solution: publish his name and photo before that happens   (mlive.com) divider line 78
    More: Amusing, induction sealing, Saginaw, mess, Poole  
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15531 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2013 at 8:38 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-24 11:32:02 AM
"adulterating a food product"? That's a law?
Who else went out their way to jizz in/on food and hand it out to others to make it a law?

/this is why we can't have nice things
 
2013-01-24 11:47:22 AM

The Angry Hand of God: Everything else aside, how in the hell did he get caught?


Someone recognized his taste.
 
2013-01-24 11:51:59 AM

Tango_down: [www.movievillains.com image 200x206]

I died when I first saw this.


gagged.

FTFM
 
2013-01-24 11:56:45 AM

BizarreMan: The Angry Hand of God: Everything else aside, how in the hell did he get caught?

I'm guessing it's his big mouth. He tells his friends that he just did the funniest thing, and it gets back to the girl and she go to the principal.


Or the girl was an experienced jizz-gargler and knew right away.
 
2013-01-24 11:58:12 AM
A prank?  Oh, he's the funny guy in class....

Bet he doesn't get invited to a lot of social events.
 
2013-01-24 12:00:29 PM

dgriffith2: i for one am not shocked. i mean come on...we got larry the cable guy hocking Wildberry flavored prilosec on that there movin' picture contraption. this guy's just thinking skeeting outside the box....

/sarcasm


/skeet skeet SKEET!
 
2013-01-24 12:28:45 PM
What would have happened had that mint been used to freshen up the victim's vergina?
 
2013-01-24 12:29:22 PM

hornblowerfan: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.


like this?
simplemom.net
 
2013-01-24 12:31:11 PM
One Guy: Hey, you got semen in my breath mints.

Other Guy: Yeah? Well you got your breath mints in my semen.

Both Guys: Hey, it's terrific.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups Recoils in sticky, slippery horror.
 
2013-01-24 12:57:42 PM
Mrs. Freidman: I've had this taste in my mouth before

Sure, he will have his record sealed, but the internet is around forever...
 
2013-01-24 02:14:29 PM
"Adulterating or misbranding a food" is gluing meat scraps together and calling it a steak. Putting your jizz into an unwilling person's mouth is a sexual assault.

The victim was a girl?

"Oh, in that case, boys will be boys," say all the men involved in the case.
 
2013-01-24 02:53:48 PM

brimed03: MythDragon: "Mmmm spermamint"

Who is that/what's that from?


I believe it's Gwyneth Paltrow playing a game of 'Chubby Bunny'.
Showed up as a random image in a GIS I was doing while trying to find related image to jizz mints.
 
2013-01-24 02:55:32 PM

Mr.BobDobalita: Awesome that they put his name in the paper like this. I'm sure it will come up in a google search for future employers, despite the "sealed record".... Boss move by the paper.

This "kid" sure as hell shouldn't be getting off so light for what amounts to a sex crime. What if he gave them HPV or HIV or Herpes or something else?! Disgusting. People get on the sex offenders list for peeing in the bushes.... THIS guy should be on the offenders list.


Not really we treat minors differently for a reason. The point of sealed records is not to ruin some kids life because of some stupid joke you played as a kid.

In a just world the kid would be able to sue the paper for ruining his life
 
2013-01-24 03:22:07 PM

daveUSMC: Theaetetus: Bpjosep: If he had put it in a batch of stroganoff, no one would have noticed.

Stroganoff was how he got it.

WINNER!!!


that was just wrong.
 
2013-01-24 03:51:32 PM

deanis: Some pranks, although gross, are funny. This guy is sick. What ever happened to whoopie cushions!?


It takes a lot longer to fill those with semen.
 
2013-01-24 03:53:06 PM
I once worked in a restaurant with a guy who told me that he'd splooged into a bottle of body lotion that one of the waitresses had in her purse.

He acted like it was some hilarious prank.

I didn't tell anybody because I wasn't sure if he was serious, but the dude ended up going to jail for something else not long after that.

Creepy farker.
 
2013-01-24 03:58:54 PM

louiedog: deanis: Some pranks, although gross, are funny. This guy is sick. What ever happened to whoopie cushions!?

It takes a lot longer to fill those with semen.


Use Dial liquid hand soap, they'll never know the difference.
 
2013-01-24 04:09:26 PM

eyeq360: Those mints have got lots of spunk in...I mean on them.


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-24 04:23:22 PM

Warlordtrooper: Mr.BobDobalita: Awesome that they put his name in the paper like this. I'm sure it will come up in a google search for future employers, despite the "sealed record".... Boss move by the paper.

This "kid" sure as hell shouldn't be getting off so light for what amounts to a sex crime. What if he gave them HPV or HIV or Herpes or something else?! Disgusting. People get on the sex offenders list for peeing in the bushes.... THIS guy should be on the offenders list.

Not really we treat minors differently for a reason. The point of sealed records is not to ruin some kids life because of some stupid joke you played as a kid.

In a just world the kid would be able to sue the paper for ruining his life


FTA: Jordan T. Drake, 18, pleaded guilty as charged on Wednesday, Jan. 23, to adulterating a food item.

He's not a "kid" or a juvenile, or a minor. He's a legal adult and a sick little turd; he shouldn't have his record sealed.
 
2013-01-24 06:37:51 PM
Publishing his name and picture seems like a curiously strong punishment that's for cert. He may develop a tic even though it was a tac-y thing to do. Must have sent his parents into orbit! Maybe he should take up polo instead. It's the perfect ice breaker when talking to women. Hopefully he never does anything extra bad that will eclipse this.
 
2013-01-24 06:54:22 PM
Born and raised is Saginaw, MI..... What a hell-hole.
 
2013-01-24 06:55:03 PM
Correction.....

Born and raised IN Saginaw, MI..... What a hell-hole.
 
2013-01-24 09:58:50 PM

louiedog: deanis: Some pranks, although gross, are funny. This guy is sick. What ever happened to whoopie cushions!?

It takes a lot longer to fill those with semen.


Should have filled a few of these puppies up for a burst of joy.

www.dutchvalleyfoods.com
 
2013-01-24 11:25:41 PM
"High school kid"

Right.
 
2013-01-25 07:31:38 AM
changethetaste.com
NO FIBER? well i've been jipped (eats a grapefruit)
 
2013-01-25 09:19:06 AM
AAAAAAND--- He's black, ---surprise!
 
2013-01-25 10:29:06 AM
Note to self:

Don't accept foodstuffs from 18 year olds that look 37
 
2013-01-26 01:34:06 PM

oldfurr: AAAAAAND--- He's black, ---surprise!


Honestly, that did surprise me.
 
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