Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Weekly Standard)   Apparently the DHS stands for the Department of Obvious Shiat. Who knew?   (weeklystandard.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, DHS, non-alcoholic beverage, frostbite, relaxed pronunciation, chills, snow  
•       •       •

1284 clicks; posted to Politics » on 24 Jan 2013 at 8:27 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



20 Comments   (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-24 08:29:47 AM  
They really just have nothing to do.
 
2013-01-24 08:32:04 AM  
I feel safer already.
 
2013-01-24 08:37:41 AM  
If there was ever a government department that needed to have its budget cut and be dismantled...

/what a farce
 
2013-01-24 08:37:49 AM  
Thank god there was an entire office full of GS-13s and above getting a 20% COLA adjustment for the DC area putting them over 100k/yr at the low end to order a contractor making 90k/yr and getting billed to the government at 140k/yr by some defense contractor to draft these so America could be safe for Democracy.

/Let freedom ring.
 
2013-01-24 08:37:55 AM  
Who here honestly thinks that the average Twitter user is smart enough to know any of these things?

Seems like a decent way to stem the tide of morons ending up in the ER because they tried shoveling snow in a t-shirt and then tried to "warm up" with a bottle of whiskey in the garage. Won't work, but seems like it's worth a shot.
 
2013-01-24 08:42:42 AM  
Libby McLiberalstine though I may normally be, this is simply too much of a "your tax dollars at work" moment not to say it.
 
2013-01-24 08:44:04 AM  
DHS:

And remember to tie your shoe laces, button your coat and wait an hour prior to go swimming after eating.

/facepalm
 
2013-01-24 08:48:45 AM  

toomuchwhargarbl: Thank god there was an entire office full of GS-13s and above getting a 20% COLA adjustment for the DC area putting them over 100k/yr at the low end to order a contractor making 90k/yr and getting billed to the government at 140k/yr by some defense contractor to draft these so America could be safe for Democracy.

/Let freedom ring.


You just described my old job in DC perfectly.
 
2013-01-24 08:54:04 AM  

PanicMan: You just described my old job in DC perfectly.


Worked for a defense contractor in D.C. for almost a decade. Supported DHS for a good chunk of that.

I also know the con intimately.
 
2013-01-24 09:00:06 AM  
Earlier today, the Department of Homeland Security took to its Twitter account to offer "tips" on how to deal with the winter weather

The Department of Homeland Security has set the winter weather threat level to WHITE [ ].

/Can we please dissolve this useless department now???
 
2013-01-24 09:01:35 AM  
Don't lick the metal flagpole.
Avoid yellow snow.
Run away from brown snow.
Report red snow to the authorities.
 
2013-01-24 09:21:56 AM  
HEY JANET! "DHS" doesn't stand for "Department of Health and Human Services," yanno...
 
2013-01-24 09:22:49 AM  
IF YOU PULL A MUSCLE WHILE SHOVELING SNOW, THE TERRORISTS WIN

This announcement brought to you by Janet "Your Mom" Napolitano.
 
2013-01-24 09:32:19 AM  
p.s. We're still going to grab your junk at the airport.
 
2013-01-24 09:38:05 AM  
Watch for signs of hypothermia. These include uncontrollable shivering, memory loss, disorientation, incoherence, slurred speech, drowsiness, and apparent exhaustion.

Then how the fark are we supposed to remember all these symptoms?
 
2013-01-24 10:30:39 AM  
So, safety tips are now un-American?
 
2013-01-24 10:35:58 AM  
You guys are laughing, but i have a friend who just a few weeks ago pulled something because he didn't stretch prior to shoveling.
 
2013-01-24 11:02:33 AM  
Wow. I'm going to have all those helpful hints tatooed on my body part. If I had a bigger body part, I'd include the wise additions made by other Farkers.
 
2013-01-24 11:07:29 AM  
WTF. DHS was supposed to be for protecting us fro the terrorists.

Unless al qaeda is making it snow DHS should find real work to do.
 
2013-01-24 02:45:55 PM  
You all laugh now, but when terrorists burst forth from various mosques and none of you are able to do anything but watch and pant due to overexerting yourselves while shoveling, don't say you weren't warned.
 
Displayed 20 of 20 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report