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(CNN)   North Korea discloses nuke test and promises "upcoming all-out action" against U.S   (cnn.com) divider line 236
    More: Followup, North Korea, United States, United Nations Security Council, nuclear tests, KCNA, Security Council resolutions, National Defence Commission  
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11464 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2013 at 2:36 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-24 03:03:06 AM
Nuke, nuke-nuke, nuke, nuke-em Jong-am style.
 
2013-01-24 03:03:32 AM

spacelord321: APE992: spacelord321: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

Can't it be both?

Take out SF and you lose your technology seeing as the entire bay area wouldn't be very livable. Take out LA and you only lose the RIAA and MPAA.

/easy pick when you think about it

Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

Jk about the target part, but WTF guys?


Im cool with losing california, just give me a few minutes to get out (im like 30 min. From oregon). Californians do suck.
 
2013-01-24 03:04:18 AM

A Terrible Human: It'd be nice if they'd just stop this bullshiat and ask for food aid like non crazy countries but they won't.


Of course that would be admitting that they can't feed their own people, and they aren't willing to admit that. Kim Jong-un and his inner circle want for nothing, but for the rest it's wide-spread hunger, sometimes to the point of starvation.
 
2013-01-24 03:04:25 AM
This is pathetic.

MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.


All those people who never stood a chance, just evaporated. Doesn't seem fair to me.
 
2013-01-24 03:05:44 AM

This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.


Yeah, this country totally doesn't need Silicon Valley anyway, amirite?
 
2013-01-24 03:05:49 AM

GarretSidzaka: im usually not in favor of military action, and am a leftist. but some precision drone strikes to cripple their rocketry program are seeming prudent


We would have to destroy anything they have that can reach Seoul
 
2013-01-24 03:06:22 AM

Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.


"War is the health of the state."
 
2013-01-24 03:07:33 AM
Because of this now we're going to have Iran in pay attention to me mode so I expect to hear something about them and whatever their latest tomfoolery is soon.
 
2013-01-24 03:08:26 AM

C18H27NO3: Because of this now we're going to have Iran in pay attention to me mode so I expect to hear something about them and whatever their latest tomfoolery is soon.


Ha, tomfoolery. Havent heard that in awhile.
 
2013-01-24 03:08:40 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: GarretSidzaka: im usually not in favor of military action, and am a leftist. but some precision drone strikes to cripple their rocketry program are seeming prudent

We would have to destroy anything they have that can reach Seoul


Miles of built-in artillery sites, thoroughly hardened. What's in them may be as dangerous as snowballs for all we know, but it would be difficult to take them out in case they actually have working weaponry. Very difficult.
 
2013-01-24 03:09:53 AM

Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags and girls, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.



FTFY
 
2013-01-24 03:10:01 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: Relatively Obscure: North Korea isn't going to do a damned thing except bluster.

This.

Didn't their last test end up at the bottom of the ocean? Maybe they're confusing the US with Atlantis.


Wouldn't you consider their satellite launch really a test of an ICMB vehicle? The way Atlas and Titan were both rocket and ICBM tests for us? If so, theor last test was better than their usual spongebob assault.
 
2013-01-24 03:10:35 AM
Well I blue that.

www.delawareonline.com
 
2013-01-24 03:10:37 AM
i.imgur.com
<a href="http://imgur.com/mY2bsdd"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/mY2bsdd.gif" title="Hosted by imgur.com" alt="" /></a>
 
2013-01-24 03:11:03 AM
Bring it!
 
2013-01-24 03:13:39 AM

Bathia_Mapes: A Terrible Human: It'd be nice if they'd just stop this bullshiat and ask for food aid like non crazy countries but they won't.

Of course that would be admitting that they can't feed their own people, and they aren't willing to admit that. Kim Jong-un and his inner circle want for nothing, but for the rest it's wide-spread hunger, sometimes to the point of starvation.


You said "rape" twice.
 
2013-01-24 03:13:55 AM

crab66: Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags and girls, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.


FTFY


Pack your bags and girls?

/I think you goofed
 
2013-01-24 03:14:41 AM

imthefonze: C18H27NO3: Because of this now we're going to have Iran in pay attention to me mode so I expect to hear something about them and whatever their latest tomfoolery is soon.

Ha, tomfoolery. Havent heard that in awhile.


tomfoolery, hi-jinx, malarkey, shenanigans and (maybe) balderdash and poppycock are all great words for silliness.
 
2013-01-24 03:16:00 AM

ontariolightning: APE992: spacelord321: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

Can't it be both?

Take out SF and you lose your technology seeing as the entire bay area wouldn't be very livable. Take out LA and you only lose the RIAA and MPAA.

/easy pick when you think about it

But then the marine life dies too. Why not nuke Texas and Mexico


Because I'm Texican!

Been a long time since I've been though.
 
2013-01-24 03:17:57 AM

Bathia_Mapes: Of course that would be admitting that they can't feed their own people, and they aren't willing to admit that. Kim Jong-un and his inner circle want for nothing, but for the rest it's wide-spread hunger, sometimes to the point of starvation.


I know. One of the most depressing documentaries I've ever watched was one were a guy secretly recorded how the rural areas lived. There were little kids picking tiny kernels of corn off the ground at a market. They all looked so thin and desperate.
 
2013-01-24 03:19:26 AM

imthefonze: Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.

Yep, itd be a huge war effort fighting a country that feeds it soldiers old shoes and cant figure out how to fire a rocket without using photoshop.


China?
 
2013-01-24 03:21:03 AM

ontariolightning: MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.

US can't do shiat to NK because of the proximity to South Korea and Seoul.


I never got why SK didn't turn their $megabucks to make a system that would make patriot/iron dome look like chickenshiat. Straight up put anti-artillary batteries/radars every 10 feet from the DMZ to Seoul.

Either that or make it so Seoul can retract into the ground, like Neon Genesis Evangelion....

The *only* reason people give NK a wide berth is because there's so many civilians nearby. Why not take that from them?
 
2013-01-24 03:21:14 AM
I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.
 
2013-01-24 03:25:20 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.


The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.
 
2013-01-24 03:25:43 AM

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.

"War is the health of the state."


Still rings true today.
 
2013-01-24 03:26:23 AM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: miniflea: but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.

Kim Jong Il isn't quite on the ball as he used to be.


Yeah, he's really been slipping.
/No American should feel threatened by a man named Kim.
 
2013-01-24 03:27:39 AM

ontariolightning: Mock26: Just give that dumb, fat, f*ck all the Happy Meals he can shove down his face hole. Then cut him off. He will agree to any demands if he can have his farking Happy Meals again.

Don't say that. Don't be mean. He could be reading that comment and committ suicide. Words kill. Your post could be what sets him off and kills millions of people. Now apologize just in case he read it. Put out the fire.


Honestly Un trying any sort of "all out action" against us pretty much will result in his death certificate reading "Suicide". Granted that'll be assisted suicide, but still...
 
2013-01-24 03:28:49 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.


Do you have a newsletter or pamphlet I can subscribe to?
 
2013-01-24 03:32:14 AM

TheCheese: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

Do you have a newsletter or pamphlet I can subscribe to?


http://www.helpforibs.com/news/
 
2013-01-24 03:32:38 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Yeah, this country totally doesn't need Silicon Valley anyway, amirite?


Silicon Valley is not in San Francisco.
 
2013-01-24 03:32:45 AM
Oh, crap. They saw the Red Dawn remake and thought it was a 'how-to'...
 
2013-01-24 03:33:57 AM

spacelord321: Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.


I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago from Boston, and I did notice the state flags all over the place. The best explanation I have comes from driving across: that all the important stuff is so far from another state that there is nothing comparable. The rest of the US is remote, almost fictional. We make up the images they'll consume, so we must be more important. Mexico abuts San Diego, but that's not the US -- that's where the better fish tacos come from, the control subject in this gringo hijacking experiment.

California became a state when it took several months to get to the next state. It's only been recently that the five-hour flights got cheap enough to happen more than once a year. California is... busy. Please leave a message.

/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...
//KJU probably doesn't think about Seattle, let alone watch Portlandia
///Our hipsters are far more welcoming. Have a Laguinitas IPA, bro!
 
2013-01-24 03:34:34 AM

This About That: Uchiha_Cycliste: Yeah, this country totally doesn't need Silicon Valley anyway, amirite?

Silicon Valley is not in San Francisco.


nope, it's just 40 or so miles away by car. We can totally nuke one and the other will be just fine... not to mention, you DO know that there are a shiat load of tech and financial companies in the City too, right?
 
2013-01-24 03:35:13 AM

This About That: Uchiha_Cycliste: Yeah, this country totally doesn't need Silicon Valley anyway, amirite?

Silicon Valley is not in San Francisco.


Some people referred to California as a whole, which obviously includes Silicon Valley.
 
2013-01-24 03:35:25 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.


That's why we have to carpet the place with dogs, man. People don't have to possess them they just bend over when nobody's looking and take a bite. Then they just do the old grade-school "in class slow chew" and hum a bit and look at a cloud or something and go about their business. And the whole country has so much TP it looks like Rosie Rottencrotch's house the morning after homecoming when they're squatting in the bushes they just pluck it.
 
2013-01-24 03:36:18 AM

Abacus9: /No American should feel threatened by a man named Kim.


Super unrelated but my mom worked as a nanny for a couple. The man said his name was Wayne. For around a week she kept answering phone calls where a woman would ask to speak to a Kim. Mom kept telling her that there wasn't a Kim that lived there. She told the couple about the calls. Wayne was all embarrassed and said his first name was Kim. It was his mom who had been calling.
 
2013-01-24 03:39:14 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.

That's why we have to carpet the place with dogs, man. People don't have to possess them they just bend over when nobody's looking and take a bite. Then they just do the old grade-school "in class slow chew" and hum a bit and look at a cloud or something and go about their business. And the whole country has so much TP it looks like Rosie Rottencrotch's house the morning after homecoming when they're squatting in the bushes they just pluck it.


I contend that the punishment would be the same. It's the reason that I don't think air dropping happy means is a good idea either. I seriously think Kim would be willing to imprison whole cities to maintain his control of the population.
 
2013-01-24 03:39:19 AM

GranoblasticMan: crab66: Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags and girls, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.


FTFY

Pack your bags and girls?

/I think you goofed


I dunno, maybe not a bad plan after all...
 
2013-01-24 03:41:04 AM

MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.


All of these.

The sideshow in Iraq was stupid, pointless and ugly; but the first two months in Afghanistan broke the back of the Taliban pretty effectively. If the administration hadn't had its collective head up its ass, we probably would have been in and out just like Desert Storm; but alas. I suspect that if No. Korea lobbed a nuke anywhere in our direction, South Korea would be a island in a week and a half.
 
2013-01-24 03:43:19 AM

pseydtonne: spacelord321: Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago from Boston, and I did notice the state flags all over the place. The best explanation I have comes from driving across: that all the important stuff is so far from another state that there is nothing comparable. The rest of the US is remote, almost fictional. We make up the images they'll consume, so we must be more important. Mexico abuts San Diego, but that's not the US -- that's where the better fish tacos come from, the control subject in this gringo hijacking experiment.

California became a state when it took several months to get to the next state. It's only been recently that the five-hour flights got cheap enough to happen more than once a year. California is... busy. Please leave a message.

/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...
//KJU probably doesn't think about Seattle, let alone watch Portlandia
///Our hipsters are far more welcoming. Have a Laguinitas IPA, bro!


Engrish, muddafalka. Do you speak it?
 
2013-01-24 03:43:27 AM

pseydtonne: spacelord321: Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago from Boston, and I did notice the state flags all over the place. The best explanation I have comes from driving across: that all the important stuff is so far from another state that there is nothing comparable. The rest of the US is remote, almost fictional. We make up the images they'll consume, so we must be more important. Mexico abuts San Diego, but that's not the US -- that's where the better fish tacos come from, the control subject in this gringo hijacking experiment.

California became a state when it took several months to get to the next state. It's only been recently that the five-hour flights got cheap enough to happen more than once a year. California is... busy. Please leave a message.

/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...
//KJU probably doesn't think about Seattle, let alone watch Portlandia
///Our hipsters are far more welcoming. Have a Laguinitas IPA, bro!


Yep. CA does pretty much have every type of terrain. They could probably go it alone.

I agree. The homebrew/grown scene was pretty good.
 
2013-01-24 03:44:02 AM
After a failed long-range rocket launch in April, North Korea ignored international condemnation and carried out a second attempt last month. That one succeeded in putting a satellite in orbit, Pyongyang's stated objective.

Wow my paranoia level just spiked.
 
2013-01-24 03:45:22 AM

spacelord321: pseydtonne: spacelord321: Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago from Boston, and I did notice the state flags all over the place. The best explanation I have comes from driving across: that all the important stuff is so far from another state that there is nothing comparable. The rest of the US is remote, almost fictional. We make up the images they'll consume, so we must be more important. Mexico abuts San Diego, but that's not the US -- that's where the better fish tacos come from, the control subject in this gringo hijacking experiment.

California became a state when it took several months to get to the next state. It's only been recently that the five-hour flights got cheap enough to happen more than once a year. California is... busy. Please leave a message.

/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...
//KJU probably doesn't think about Seattle, let alone watch Portlandia
///Our hipsters are far more welcoming. Have a Laguinitas IPA, bro!

Yep. CA does pretty much have every type of terrain. They could probably go it alone.

I agree. The homebrew/grown scene was pretty good.


We don't have the tropics =(, at least not like Hawaii does. Catalina doesn't count, although Catalina, Monterrey and Laguna all have good diving.
 
2013-01-24 03:52:05 AM

whidbey: After a failed long-range rocket launch in April, North Korea ignored international condemnation and carried out a second attempt last month. That one succeeded in putting a satellite in orbit, Pyongyang's stated objective.

Wow my paranoia level just spiked.


So they could tumble a warhead through orbit, coming down God-only-knows where. Likely, as noted, the ocean.

Wait, you weren't serious, were you?
 
2013-01-24 03:57:14 AM
This is interesting. Best Korea starts talking tough again just after tensions between China and Japan reach a fever pitch over those stupid islands north of Japan that both countries claim for themselves? NK may not be able to deliver a nuke to the US with any real accuracy, but they certainly can float a Junk into Tokyo Bay and blow up a nuke it might be carrying on-board.

Best Korea does nothing without China's approval.
China wants to put pressure on Japan to give up those islands.
Furthermore, China wants the US occupied elsewhere, so they can't interfere.

So Best Korea starts talking smack, which puts the fear of Un in both the leadership of Japan and South Korea, and it keep our attention focused on NK rather than the China/Japan standoff... or at least China hopes, anyway.
 
2013-01-24 03:59:58 AM

MmmmBacon: This is interesting. Best Korea starts talking tough again just after tensions between China and Japan reach a fever pitch over those stupid islands northsouth of Japan that both countries claim for themselves? NK may not be able to deliver a nuke to the US with any real accuracy, but they certainly can float a Junk into Tokyo Bay and blow up a nuke it might be carrying on-board.

Best Korea does nothing without China's approval.
China wants to put pressure on Japan to give up those islands.
Furthermore, China wants the US occupied elsewhere, so they can't interfere.

So Best Korea starts talking smack, which puts the fear of Un in both the leadership of Japan and South Korea, and it keep our attention focused on NK rather than the China/Japan standoff... or at least China hopes, anyway.


www.csmonitor.com
 
2013-01-24 04:00:01 AM

A Terrible Human: Abacus9: /No American should feel threatened by a man named Kim.

Super unrelated but my mom worked as a nanny for a couple. The man said his name was Wayne. For around a week she kept answering phone calls where a woman would ask to speak to a Kim. Mom kept telling her that there wasn't a Kim that lived there. She told the couple about the calls. Wayne was all embarrassed and said his first name was Kim. It was his mom who had been calling.


That's actually pretty sad, that he would feel ashamed of his own name.
Sort of related: I have an uncle from Okinawa who moved to the U.S. when he was around five. He calls himself Ed, although he's not embarassed by his real name or anything. I think he just didn't want to have to explain how to pronounce it, or answer questions about it.
 
2013-01-24 04:04:58 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.

That's why we have to carpet the place with dogs, man. People don't have to possess them they just bend over when nobody's looking and take a bite. Then they just do the old grade-school "in class slow chew" and hum a bit and look at a cloud or something and go about their business. And the whole country has so much TP it looks like Rosie Rottencrotch's house the morning after homecoming when they're squatting in the bushes they just pluck it.

I contend that the punishment would be the same. It's the reason that I don't think air dropping happy means is a good idea either. I seriously think Kim would be willing to imprison whole cities to maintain his control of the population.


Okay, then. What about BBQ stands all along the DMZ with huge fans blowing the smell of succulent, succulent baby-back ribs and brisket and chicken and sausages across into NK?

Yeah, I know, mandatory nose-plugs or labor camps, etc. You're such a buzz-kill. How about brainstorming a little with me instead of ag'in' me, bro? I'm trying to solve a problem here.
 
2013-01-24 04:05:17 AM

digistil: pseydtonne:
/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...

Engrish, muddafalka. Do you speak it?


i.imgur.com

Claro, hein?
 
2013-01-24 04:09:37 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.


Sadly that kind of food would likely lead to quite a few of them dying from refeeding syndrome. Great idea though.
 
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