If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   North Korea discloses nuke test and promises "upcoming all-out action" against U.S   (cnn.com) divider line 236
    More: Followup, North Korea, United States, United Nations Security Council, nuclear tests, KCNA, Security Council resolutions, National Defence Commission  
•       •       •

11470 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jan 2013 at 2:36 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



236 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-24 02:13:58 AM
Good luck with that. I liked you guys better when you were just a hilarious side bar on the internet.
 
2013-01-24 02:26:45 AM
Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.
 
2013-01-24 02:27:44 AM
North Korea isn't going to do a damned thing except bluster.
 
2013-01-24 02:28:37 AM
bring it.

come at me bro.
 
2013-01-24 02:31:30 AM

This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.


Well ... I'm not really sure if L.A. would notice the difference in pollution.
 
2013-01-24 02:32:23 AM
Quit with the newsflash. This isn't scary, they aren't going to attack us. They just threaten so they can offer something for more aid. By being scared of them you're doing exactly what they want.
 
2013-01-24 02:37:27 AM
So ronery.

/Maybe some fireworks will win me some friends
 
2013-01-24 02:38:26 AM
I might worry when they get good at Photoshop. Until then, yawn.
 
2013-01-24 02:38:51 AM

GAT_00: Quit with the newsflash. This isn't scary, they aren't going to attack us. They just threaten so they can offer something for more aid. By being scared of them you're doing exactly what they want.


North Korea says no dialogue on the denuclearization of their country will be possible in the future
 
2013-01-24 02:40:07 AM

Relatively Obscure: North Korea isn't going to do a damned thing except bluster.


This.

Didn't their last test end up at the bottom of the ocean? Maybe they're confusing the US with Atlantis.
 
2013-01-24 02:40:50 AM
There could be north koreans with a nuke in the US right now planning an attack for all we know. Too bad Jack Bauer faked his death and is living off the grid.
 
2013-01-24 02:42:07 AM
The Japanese have far more to worry about with all the Best Korean missile parts coming apart and raining down on them.
 
2013-01-24 02:42:29 AM
Trust me, Nork. We don't want to have any farking thing to do with you. Really. We just don't care about you at all.

We care about the sweet Korean twat buffet our soldiers get during their deployment, and we care about cheap LG and Samsung TVs. I suppose we care about those cheap Hyundais that have way better power than the Jap rice burners. And Korean BBQ is pretty great, but keep that dog meat away.

Anyway, settle the fark down. Hey, if you give up your nukes, you can visit Tokyo Disneyland. Our treat.
 
2013-01-24 02:43:35 AM

ontariolightning: GAT_00: Quit with the newsflash. This isn't scary, they aren't going to attack us. They just threaten so they can offer something for more aid. By being scared of them you're doing exactly what they want.

North Korea says no dialogue on the denuclearization of their country will be possible in the future


Judging from what we've seen from North Korean missile tests in the past, they'll probably end up denuclearizing themselves.
 
2013-01-24 02:43:43 AM

This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.


Doubt that they have a rocket that will go that far. I would imagine that that take out Seoul first before that attempt anything against us.
 
2013-01-24 02:44:13 AM
Maybe Hans Blix can defuse this tense situation.
 
2013-01-24 02:45:38 AM
Just give that dumb, fat, f*ck all the Happy Meals he can shove down his face hole. Then cut him off. He will agree to any demands if he can have his farking Happy Meals again.
 
2013-01-24 02:46:40 AM

ontariolightning: North Korea says no dialogue on the denuclearization of their country will be possible in the future


When I read that I was thinking if they want nuclearization we could make it happen in about 2-3 short hours. If they really want it that is. Fallout 4 may come early afterall?

/just kidding
//only barely
 
2013-01-24 02:46:57 AM
Thank you Bill Richardson and Google megalomaniac. More aid = secreter bombs.
 
2013-01-24 02:47:12 AM
"Upcoming all-out action! Next on Wrestlemania XVCIIVCII!"
 
2013-01-24 02:47:14 AM

Dejah: Maybe Hans Blix can defuse this tense situation.


Hah!

That's funny, because he was totally wrong about Iraq, except for the part where he was totally right, and you're too stupid to breathe without coaching.
 
2013-01-24 02:47:34 AM

This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.


Can't it be both?
 
2013-01-24 02:47:59 AM

Mock26: Just give that dumb, fat, f*ck all the Happy Meals he can shove down his face hole. Then cut him off. He will agree to any demands if he can have his farking Happy Meals again.


Don't say that. Don't be mean. He could be reading that comment and committ suicide. Words kill. Your post could be what sets him off and kills millions of people. Now apologize just in case he read it. Put out the fire.
 
2013-01-24 02:48:03 AM
You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.
 
2013-01-24 02:48:32 AM

This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.


North Korea is incapable of striking the United States, or of holding out for more than a few weeks of conventional war, if that. What they ARE capable of is causing hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths in Seoul within the first hours of any war.

Anti US bluster has always been a key part of the Kim's stranglehold on their country, but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.
 
2013-01-24 02:49:22 AM

MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.


US can't do shiat to NK because of the proximity to South Korea and Seoul.
 
2013-01-24 02:49:46 AM
HK biatches don't blink without a tug o' the leash from their Chicom master.
 
2013-01-24 02:49:49 AM

GAT_00: Quit with the newsflash. This isn't scary, they aren't going to attack us. They just threaten so they can offer something for more aid. By being scared of them you're doing exactly what they want.


This. Here's how it works. You run the tests THEN you make the threats. Not the other way around, dummies.
 
2013-01-24 02:50:56 AM
Part of me wants them to try it just so that we can finally deal with that ass pimple of a country.
 
2013-01-24 02:51:30 AM
Lol. Hey we are safe, the u.n. Sent them an angry letter. Also, im willing to give up san fransisco for us to finally go scorched earth policy on them.
 
2013-01-24 02:52:06 AM
FTA- "part of a new phase of confrontation with the United States"

Finally after nearly 60 years the Korean War heats up again as the North seeks a new strategy after finding out that "doing nothing relevant for 60 years" finally does nothing for them.
 
2013-01-24 02:52:13 AM

spacelord321: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

Can't it be both?


Take out SF and you lose your technology seeing as the entire bay area wouldn't be very livable. Take out LA and you only lose the RIAA and MPAA.

/easy pick when you think about it
 
2013-01-24 02:52:29 AM

kmmontandon: Hah! That's funny, because he was totally wrong about Iraq, except for the part where he was totally right, and you're too stupid to breathe without coaching.


... Congratulations on being the only Farker who hasn't seen Team America, I suppose.
 
2013-01-24 02:52:33 AM
Dear America, it's time to send us some more free care baskets again (or die).

Love,
Kim Jong-un
 
2013-01-24 02:53:41 AM
What are you going to do...bleed on me?
 
2013-01-24 02:54:27 AM

APE992: spacelord321: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

Can't it be both?

Take out SF and you lose your technology seeing as the entire bay area wouldn't be very livable. Take out LA and you only lose the RIAA and MPAA.

/easy pick when you think about it


But then the marine life dies too. Why not nuke Texas and Mexico
 
2013-01-24 02:55:09 AM

Flacman: FTA- "part of a new phase of confrontation with the United States"

Finally after nearly 60 years the Korean War heats up again as the North seeks a new strategy after finding out that "doing nothing relevant for 60 years" finally does nothing for them.


Im pretty okay with losing both. For the greater good.
 
2013-01-24 02:55:54 AM
Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.
 
2013-01-24 02:56:57 AM

miniflea: but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.


Kim Jong Il isn't quite on the ball as he used to be.
 
2013-01-24 02:57:05 AM

ontariolightning: APE992: spacelord321: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

Can't it be both?

Take out SF and you lose your technology seeing as the entire bay area wouldn't be very livable. Take out LA and you only lose the RIAA and MPAA.

/easy pick when you think about it

But then the marine life dies too. Why not nuke Texas and Mexico


But then who will take er jerbs?
 
2013-01-24 02:57:48 AM

miniflea: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

North Korea is incapable of striking the United States, or of holding out for more than a few weeks of conventional war, if that. What they ARE capable of is causing hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths in Seoul within the first hours of any war.

Anti US bluster has always been a key part of the Kim's stranglehold on their country, but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.


I really doubt they could manage to do much damage to Seoul, and Seoul has pretty extensive preparations for such an event so casualties would be minimal. They might have been able to do some serious harm in the 80s, but at this point they'd only have about 10 minutes before all of their artillery bunkers were buried in rubble and rocket shrapnel. They certainly couldn't nuke Seoul. Any plane they sent would be shot down just over the DMZ and they don't have any other delivery method short of carrying it through a tunnel under the DMZ, and I don't think they've got any of those the South hasn't found.
 
2013-01-24 02:57:58 AM
im usually not in favor of military action, and am a leftist. but some precision drone strikes to cripple their rocketry program are seeming prudent

/that kid grew up playin starcraft
//nuclear launch detected
 
2013-01-24 02:58:00 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Trust me, Nork. We don't want to have any farking thing to do with you. Really. We just don't care about you at all.

We care about the sweet Korean twat buffet our soldiers get during their deployment, and we care about cheap LG and Samsung TVs. I suppose we care about those cheap Hyundais that have way better power than the Jap rice burners. And Korean BBQ is pretty great, but keep that dog meat away.

Anyway, settle the fark down. Hey, if you give up your nukes, you can visit Tokyo Disneyland. Our treat.


Nice!
 
2013-01-24 02:58:15 AM

Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.


Yep, itd be a huge war effort fighting a country that feeds it soldiers old shoes and cant figure out how to fire a rocket without using photoshop.
 
2013-01-24 02:58:19 AM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: miniflea: but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.

Kim Jong Il isn't quite on the ball as he used to be.


Kim jong 2s uncle runs the military
 
2013-01-24 02:58:33 AM
It'd be nice if they'd just stop this bullshiat and ask for food aid like non crazy countries but they won't.
 
2013-01-24 03:00:17 AM

ontariolightning: MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.

US can't do shiat to NK because of the proximity to South Korea and Seoul.


Wat?

Pfft!
 
2013-01-24 03:01:31 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: ontariolightning: MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.

US can't do shiat to NK because of the proximity to South Korea and Seoul.

Wat?

Pfft!


Challenge accepted.
 
2013-01-24 03:02:05 AM

APE992: spacelord321: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

Can't it be both?

Take out SF and you lose your technology seeing as the entire bay area wouldn't be very livable. Take out LA and you only lose the RIAA and MPAA.

/easy pick when you think about it


Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

Jk about the target part, but WTF guys?
 
2013-01-24 03:02:15 AM
People of America you are being duped!
The party doesn't serve others, it only serves itself.
We are not at war with Eurasia!
 
2013-01-24 03:03:06 AM
Nuke, nuke-nuke, nuke, nuke-em Jong-am style.
 
2013-01-24 03:03:32 AM

spacelord321: APE992: spacelord321: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

Can't it be both?

Take out SF and you lose your technology seeing as the entire bay area wouldn't be very livable. Take out LA and you only lose the RIAA and MPAA.

/easy pick when you think about it

Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

Jk about the target part, but WTF guys?


Im cool with losing california, just give me a few minutes to get out (im like 30 min. From oregon). Californians do suck.
 
2013-01-24 03:04:18 AM

A Terrible Human: It'd be nice if they'd just stop this bullshiat and ask for food aid like non crazy countries but they won't.


Of course that would be admitting that they can't feed their own people, and they aren't willing to admit that. Kim Jong-un and his inner circle want for nothing, but for the rest it's wide-spread hunger, sometimes to the point of starvation.
 
2013-01-24 03:04:25 AM
This is pathetic.

MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.


All those people who never stood a chance, just evaporated. Doesn't seem fair to me.
 
2013-01-24 03:05:44 AM

This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.


Yeah, this country totally doesn't need Silicon Valley anyway, amirite?
 
2013-01-24 03:05:49 AM

GarretSidzaka: im usually not in favor of military action, and am a leftist. but some precision drone strikes to cripple their rocketry program are seeming prudent


We would have to destroy anything they have that can reach Seoul
 
2013-01-24 03:06:22 AM

Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.


"War is the health of the state."
 
2013-01-24 03:07:33 AM
Because of this now we're going to have Iran in pay attention to me mode so I expect to hear something about them and whatever their latest tomfoolery is soon.
 
2013-01-24 03:08:26 AM

C18H27NO3: Because of this now we're going to have Iran in pay attention to me mode so I expect to hear something about them and whatever their latest tomfoolery is soon.


Ha, tomfoolery. Havent heard that in awhile.
 
2013-01-24 03:08:40 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: GarretSidzaka: im usually not in favor of military action, and am a leftist. but some precision drone strikes to cripple their rocketry program are seeming prudent

We would have to destroy anything they have that can reach Seoul


Miles of built-in artillery sites, thoroughly hardened. What's in them may be as dangerous as snowballs for all we know, but it would be difficult to take them out in case they actually have working weaponry. Very difficult.
 
2013-01-24 03:09:53 AM

Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags and girls, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.



FTFY
 
2013-01-24 03:10:01 AM

Fluorescent Testicle: Relatively Obscure: North Korea isn't going to do a damned thing except bluster.

This.

Didn't their last test end up at the bottom of the ocean? Maybe they're confusing the US with Atlantis.


Wouldn't you consider their satellite launch really a test of an ICMB vehicle? The way Atlas and Titan were both rocket and ICBM tests for us? If so, theor last test was better than their usual spongebob assault.
 
2013-01-24 03:10:35 AM
Well I blue that.

www.delawareonline.com
 
2013-01-24 03:10:37 AM
i.imgur.com
<a href="http://imgur.com/mY2bsdd"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/mY2bsdd.gif" title="Hosted by imgur.com" alt="" /></a>
 
2013-01-24 03:11:03 AM
Bring it!
 
2013-01-24 03:13:39 AM

Bathia_Mapes: A Terrible Human: It'd be nice if they'd just stop this bullshiat and ask for food aid like non crazy countries but they won't.

Of course that would be admitting that they can't feed their own people, and they aren't willing to admit that. Kim Jong-un and his inner circle want for nothing, but for the rest it's wide-spread hunger, sometimes to the point of starvation.


You said "rape" twice.
 
2013-01-24 03:13:55 AM

crab66: Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags and girls, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.


FTFY


Pack your bags and girls?

/I think you goofed
 
2013-01-24 03:14:41 AM

imthefonze: C18H27NO3: Because of this now we're going to have Iran in pay attention to me mode so I expect to hear something about them and whatever their latest tomfoolery is soon.

Ha, tomfoolery. Havent heard that in awhile.


tomfoolery, hi-jinx, malarkey, shenanigans and (maybe) balderdash and poppycock are all great words for silliness.
 
2013-01-24 03:16:00 AM

ontariolightning: APE992: spacelord321: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

Can't it be both?

Take out SF and you lose your technology seeing as the entire bay area wouldn't be very livable. Take out LA and you only lose the RIAA and MPAA.

/easy pick when you think about it

But then the marine life dies too. Why not nuke Texas and Mexico


Because I'm Texican!

Been a long time since I've been though.
 
2013-01-24 03:17:57 AM

Bathia_Mapes: Of course that would be admitting that they can't feed their own people, and they aren't willing to admit that. Kim Jong-un and his inner circle want for nothing, but for the rest it's wide-spread hunger, sometimes to the point of starvation.


I know. One of the most depressing documentaries I've ever watched was one were a guy secretly recorded how the rural areas lived. There were little kids picking tiny kernels of corn off the ground at a market. They all looked so thin and desperate.
 
2013-01-24 03:19:26 AM

imthefonze: Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.

Yep, itd be a huge war effort fighting a country that feeds it soldiers old shoes and cant figure out how to fire a rocket without using photoshop.


China?
 
2013-01-24 03:21:03 AM

ontariolightning: MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.

US can't do shiat to NK because of the proximity to South Korea and Seoul.


I never got why SK didn't turn their $megabucks to make a system that would make patriot/iron dome look like chickenshiat. Straight up put anti-artillary batteries/radars every 10 feet from the DMZ to Seoul.

Either that or make it so Seoul can retract into the ground, like Neon Genesis Evangelion....

The *only* reason people give NK a wide berth is because there's so many civilians nearby. Why not take that from them?
 
2013-01-24 03:21:14 AM
I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.
 
2013-01-24 03:25:20 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.


The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.
 
2013-01-24 03:25:43 AM

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.

"War is the health of the state."


Still rings true today.
 
2013-01-24 03:26:23 AM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: miniflea: but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.

Kim Jong Il isn't quite on the ball as he used to be.


Yeah, he's really been slipping.
/No American should feel threatened by a man named Kim.
 
2013-01-24 03:27:39 AM

ontariolightning: Mock26: Just give that dumb, fat, f*ck all the Happy Meals he can shove down his face hole. Then cut him off. He will agree to any demands if he can have his farking Happy Meals again.

Don't say that. Don't be mean. He could be reading that comment and committ suicide. Words kill. Your post could be what sets him off and kills millions of people. Now apologize just in case he read it. Put out the fire.


Honestly Un trying any sort of "all out action" against us pretty much will result in his death certificate reading "Suicide". Granted that'll be assisted suicide, but still...
 
2013-01-24 03:28:49 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.


Do you have a newsletter or pamphlet I can subscribe to?
 
2013-01-24 03:32:14 AM

TheCheese: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

Do you have a newsletter or pamphlet I can subscribe to?


http://www.helpforibs.com/news/
 
2013-01-24 03:32:38 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Yeah, this country totally doesn't need Silicon Valley anyway, amirite?


Silicon Valley is not in San Francisco.
 
2013-01-24 03:32:45 AM
Oh, crap. They saw the Red Dawn remake and thought it was a 'how-to'...
 
2013-01-24 03:33:57 AM

spacelord321: Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.


I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago from Boston, and I did notice the state flags all over the place. The best explanation I have comes from driving across: that all the important stuff is so far from another state that there is nothing comparable. The rest of the US is remote, almost fictional. We make up the images they'll consume, so we must be more important. Mexico abuts San Diego, but that's not the US -- that's where the better fish tacos come from, the control subject in this gringo hijacking experiment.

California became a state when it took several months to get to the next state. It's only been recently that the five-hour flights got cheap enough to happen more than once a year. California is... busy. Please leave a message.

/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...
//KJU probably doesn't think about Seattle, let alone watch Portlandia
///Our hipsters are far more welcoming. Have a Laguinitas IPA, bro!
 
2013-01-24 03:34:34 AM

This About That: Uchiha_Cycliste: Yeah, this country totally doesn't need Silicon Valley anyway, amirite?

Silicon Valley is not in San Francisco.


nope, it's just 40 or so miles away by car. We can totally nuke one and the other will be just fine... not to mention, you DO know that there are a shiat load of tech and financial companies in the City too, right?
 
2013-01-24 03:35:13 AM

This About That: Uchiha_Cycliste: Yeah, this country totally doesn't need Silicon Valley anyway, amirite?

Silicon Valley is not in San Francisco.


Some people referred to California as a whole, which obviously includes Silicon Valley.
 
2013-01-24 03:35:25 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.


That's why we have to carpet the place with dogs, man. People don't have to possess them they just bend over when nobody's looking and take a bite. Then they just do the old grade-school "in class slow chew" and hum a bit and look at a cloud or something and go about their business. And the whole country has so much TP it looks like Rosie Rottencrotch's house the morning after homecoming when they're squatting in the bushes they just pluck it.
 
2013-01-24 03:36:18 AM

Abacus9: /No American should feel threatened by a man named Kim.


Super unrelated but my mom worked as a nanny for a couple. The man said his name was Wayne. For around a week she kept answering phone calls where a woman would ask to speak to a Kim. Mom kept telling her that there wasn't a Kim that lived there. She told the couple about the calls. Wayne was all embarrassed and said his first name was Kim. It was his mom who had been calling.
 
2013-01-24 03:39:14 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.

That's why we have to carpet the place with dogs, man. People don't have to possess them they just bend over when nobody's looking and take a bite. Then they just do the old grade-school "in class slow chew" and hum a bit and look at a cloud or something and go about their business. And the whole country has so much TP it looks like Rosie Rottencrotch's house the morning after homecoming when they're squatting in the bushes they just pluck it.


I contend that the punishment would be the same. It's the reason that I don't think air dropping happy means is a good idea either. I seriously think Kim would be willing to imprison whole cities to maintain his control of the population.
 
2013-01-24 03:39:19 AM

GranoblasticMan: crab66: Ishkur: Oh, perfect.

This is the really big war America needs to get back on top and shake these economic doldrums.

Capitalism loves creative destruction. Pack your bags and girls, boys. It's time to get some Best Korea tang.


FTFY

Pack your bags and girls?

/I think you goofed


I dunno, maybe not a bad plan after all...
 
2013-01-24 03:41:04 AM

MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.


All of these.

The sideshow in Iraq was stupid, pointless and ugly; but the first two months in Afghanistan broke the back of the Taliban pretty effectively. If the administration hadn't had its collective head up its ass, we probably would have been in and out just like Desert Storm; but alas. I suspect that if No. Korea lobbed a nuke anywhere in our direction, South Korea would be a island in a week and a half.
 
2013-01-24 03:43:19 AM

pseydtonne: spacelord321: Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago from Boston, and I did notice the state flags all over the place. The best explanation I have comes from driving across: that all the important stuff is so far from another state that there is nothing comparable. The rest of the US is remote, almost fictional. We make up the images they'll consume, so we must be more important. Mexico abuts San Diego, but that's not the US -- that's where the better fish tacos come from, the control subject in this gringo hijacking experiment.

California became a state when it took several months to get to the next state. It's only been recently that the five-hour flights got cheap enough to happen more than once a year. California is... busy. Please leave a message.

/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...
//KJU probably doesn't think about Seattle, let alone watch Portlandia
///Our hipsters are far more welcoming. Have a Laguinitas IPA, bro!


Engrish, muddafalka. Do you speak it?
 
2013-01-24 03:43:27 AM

pseydtonne: spacelord321: Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago from Boston, and I did notice the state flags all over the place. The best explanation I have comes from driving across: that all the important stuff is so far from another state that there is nothing comparable. The rest of the US is remote, almost fictional. We make up the images they'll consume, so we must be more important. Mexico abuts San Diego, but that's not the US -- that's where the better fish tacos come from, the control subject in this gringo hijacking experiment.

California became a state when it took several months to get to the next state. It's only been recently that the five-hour flights got cheap enough to happen more than once a year. California is... busy. Please leave a message.

/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...
//KJU probably doesn't think about Seattle, let alone watch Portlandia
///Our hipsters are far more welcoming. Have a Laguinitas IPA, bro!


Yep. CA does pretty much have every type of terrain. They could probably go it alone.

I agree. The homebrew/grown scene was pretty good.
 
2013-01-24 03:44:02 AM
After a failed long-range rocket launch in April, North Korea ignored international condemnation and carried out a second attempt last month. That one succeeded in putting a satellite in orbit, Pyongyang's stated objective.

Wow my paranoia level just spiked.
 
2013-01-24 03:45:22 AM

spacelord321: pseydtonne: spacelord321: Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

I moved to Los Angeles a year and a half ago from Boston, and I did notice the state flags all over the place. The best explanation I have comes from driving across: that all the important stuff is so far from another state that there is nothing comparable. The rest of the US is remote, almost fictional. We make up the images they'll consume, so we must be more important. Mexico abuts San Diego, but that's not the US -- that's where the better fish tacos come from, the control subject in this gringo hijacking experiment.

California became a state when it took several months to get to the next state. It's only been recently that the five-hour flights got cheap enough to happen more than once a year. California is... busy. Please leave a message.

/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...
//KJU probably doesn't think about Seattle, let alone watch Portlandia
///Our hipsters are far more welcoming. Have a Laguinitas IPA, bro!

Yep. CA does pretty much have every type of terrain. They could probably go it alone.

I agree. The homebrew/grown scene was pretty good.


We don't have the tropics =(, at least not like Hawaii does. Catalina doesn't count, although Catalina, Monterrey and Laguna all have good diving.
 
2013-01-24 03:52:05 AM

whidbey: After a failed long-range rocket launch in April, North Korea ignored international condemnation and carried out a second attempt last month. That one succeeded in putting a satellite in orbit, Pyongyang's stated objective.

Wow my paranoia level just spiked.


So they could tumble a warhead through orbit, coming down God-only-knows where. Likely, as noted, the ocean.

Wait, you weren't serious, were you?
 
2013-01-24 03:57:14 AM
This is interesting. Best Korea starts talking tough again just after tensions between China and Japan reach a fever pitch over those stupid islands north of Japan that both countries claim for themselves? NK may not be able to deliver a nuke to the US with any real accuracy, but they certainly can float a Junk into Tokyo Bay and blow up a nuke it might be carrying on-board.

Best Korea does nothing without China's approval.
China wants to put pressure on Japan to give up those islands.
Furthermore, China wants the US occupied elsewhere, so they can't interfere.

So Best Korea starts talking smack, which puts the fear of Un in both the leadership of Japan and South Korea, and it keep our attention focused on NK rather than the China/Japan standoff... or at least China hopes, anyway.
 
2013-01-24 03:59:58 AM

MmmmBacon: This is interesting. Best Korea starts talking tough again just after tensions between China and Japan reach a fever pitch over those stupid islands northsouth of Japan that both countries claim for themselves? NK may not be able to deliver a nuke to the US with any real accuracy, but they certainly can float a Junk into Tokyo Bay and blow up a nuke it might be carrying on-board.

Best Korea does nothing without China's approval.
China wants to put pressure on Japan to give up those islands.
Furthermore, China wants the US occupied elsewhere, so they can't interfere.

So Best Korea starts talking smack, which puts the fear of Un in both the leadership of Japan and South Korea, and it keep our attention focused on NK rather than the China/Japan standoff... or at least China hopes, anyway.


www.csmonitor.com
 
2013-01-24 04:00:01 AM

A Terrible Human: Abacus9: /No American should feel threatened by a man named Kim.

Super unrelated but my mom worked as a nanny for a couple. The man said his name was Wayne. For around a week she kept answering phone calls where a woman would ask to speak to a Kim. Mom kept telling her that there wasn't a Kim that lived there. She told the couple about the calls. Wayne was all embarrassed and said his first name was Kim. It was his mom who had been calling.


That's actually pretty sad, that he would feel ashamed of his own name.
Sort of related: I have an uncle from Okinawa who moved to the U.S. when he was around five. He calls himself Ed, although he's not embarassed by his real name or anything. I think he just didn't want to have to explain how to pronounce it, or answer questions about it.
 
2013-01-24 04:04:58 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.

That's why we have to carpet the place with dogs, man. People don't have to possess them they just bend over when nobody's looking and take a bite. Then they just do the old grade-school "in class slow chew" and hum a bit and look at a cloud or something and go about their business. And the whole country has so much TP it looks like Rosie Rottencrotch's house the morning after homecoming when they're squatting in the bushes they just pluck it.

I contend that the punishment would be the same. It's the reason that I don't think air dropping happy means is a good idea either. I seriously think Kim would be willing to imprison whole cities to maintain his control of the population.


Okay, then. What about BBQ stands all along the DMZ with huge fans blowing the smell of succulent, succulent baby-back ribs and brisket and chicken and sausages across into NK?

Yeah, I know, mandatory nose-plugs or labor camps, etc. You're such a buzz-kill. How about brainstorming a little with me instead of ag'in' me, bro? I'm trying to solve a problem here.
 
2013-01-24 04:05:17 AM

digistil: pseydtonne:
/cripes, we're totally gonna get nuked first -- Best Korea, Iran, possibly Alberta...

Engrish, muddafalka. Do you speak it?


i.imgur.com

Claro, hein?
 
2013-01-24 04:09:37 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.


Sadly that kind of food would likely lead to quite a few of them dying from refeeding syndrome. Great idea though.
 
2013-01-24 04:13:38 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: MmmmBacon: This is interesting. Best Korea starts talking tough again just after tensions between China and Japan reach a fever pitch over those stupid islands northsouth of Japan that both countries claim for themselves? NK may not be able to deliver a nuke to the US with any real accuracy, but they certainly can float a Junk into Tokyo Bay and blow up a nuke it might be carrying on-board.

Best Korea does nothing without China's approval.
China wants to put pressure on Japan to give up those islands.
Furthermore, China wants the US occupied elsewhere, so they can't interfere.

So Best Korea starts talking smack, which puts the fear of Un in both the leadership of Japan and South Korea, and it keep our attention focused on NK rather than the China/Japan standoff... or at least China hopes, anyway.

[www.csmonitor.com image 600x724]


I never said China was wrong in their claim to those islands, just that both countries claim them, and they have nearly come to blows over it recently. And now, suddenly Best Korea decides it is a good time to threaten the US with nuclear war?

That's not a coincidence, that's planned. And China is the one behind it.

China knows the US signed a treaty to defend Japan, and so if they attack Japan, we are obligated to enter the fray. China does not want that. So get Kim Jong-Un to stir things up with the US, which allows China to either take the islands themselves (hoping we won't fight them over unoccupied land). Or - worst case scenario - they have Best Korea attack Japan, which forces the US into war with NK, while China takes those islands in the chaos. Maybe they take Taiwan as well, hoping the US won't be willing to fight a two-fronted war, but that seems unlikely.

In the end, do I really think it'll come to war? No. China may simply be reminding Japan that it controls the neighborhood Crazy, and can send it their way, should Japan refuse to play ball over those islands. Also, Best Korea might just be begging for aid again, as it is very cold this time of year in NK.
 
2013-01-24 04:19:12 AM
I bet with a lot of fancy technology a special forces team could go into NK and set themselves up as gods. They seem to dig that kind of shiat.
 
2013-01-24 04:19:39 AM

MmmmBacon: AverageAmericanGuy: MmmmBacon: This is interesting. Best Korea starts talking tough again just after tensions between China and Japan reach a fever pitch over those stupid islands northsouth of Japan that both countries claim for themselves? NK may not be able to deliver a nuke to the US with any real accuracy, but they certainly can float a Junk into Tokyo Bay and blow up a nuke it might be carrying on-board.

Best Korea does nothing without China's approval.
China wants to put pressure on Japan to give up those islands.
Furthermore, China wants the US occupied elsewhere, so they can't interfere.

So Best Korea starts talking smack, which puts the fear of Un in both the leadership of Japan and South Korea, and it keep our attention focused on NK rather than the China/Japan standoff... or at least China hopes, anyway.

[www.csmonitor.com image 600x724]

I never said China was wrong in their claim to those islands, just that both countries claim them, and they have nearly come to blows over it recently. And now, suddenly Best Korea decides it is a good time to threaten the US with nuclear war?

That's not a coincidence, that's planned. And China is the one behind it.

China knows the US signed a treaty to defend Japan, and so if they attack Japan, we are obligated to enter the fray. China does not want that. So get Kim Jong-Un to stir things up with the US, which allows China to either take the islands themselves (hoping we won't fight them over unoccupied land). Or - worst case scenario - they have Best Korea attack Japan, which forces the US into war with NK, while China takes those islands in the chaos. Maybe they take Taiwan as well, hoping the US won't be willing to fight a two-fronted war, but that seems unlikely.

In the end, do I really think it'll come to war? No. China may simply be reminding Japan that it controls the neighborhood Crazy, and can send it their way, should Japan refuse to play ball over those islands. Also, Best Korea might just be begging f ...


My post was merely informative. Showing the lines in dispute and correcting the north/south error you made.

Wasn't trying to be antagonistic.
 
2013-01-24 04:19:56 AM
I doubt China will play nuclear chicken with countries that border them.
 
2013-01-24 04:25:35 AM

A Terrible Human: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

Sadly that kind of food would likely lead to quite a few of them dying from refeeding syndrome. Great idea though.


Damn. Sounds like we can't win for losing. I'm turning WOPR off, damn thing isn't helping one bit. Hotdog Variant and Burrito Theaterwide end badly for humanity every time.

Do they play chess?
 
2013-01-24 04:26:23 AM

Boojum2k: whidbey: After a failed long-range rocket launch in April, North Korea ignored international condemnation and carried out a second attempt last month. That one succeeded in putting a satellite in orbit, Pyongyang's stated objective.

Wow my paranoia level just spiked.

So they could tumble a warhead through orbit, coming down God-only-knows where. Likely, as noted, the ocean.

Wait, you weren't serious, were you?


No. I'm starting to wonder if they're monitoring our transmissions. From up there.
*pointing*
 
2013-01-24 04:30:22 AM

draa: ontariolightning: North Korea says no dialogue on the denuclearization of their country will be possible in the future

When I read that I was thinking if they want nuclearization we could make it happen in about 2-3 short hours. If they really want it that is. Fallout 4 may come early afterall?

/just kidding
//only barely


Really? You are barely kidding about killing 10s of millions of people because you don't like a few people that are in charge of the place?
 
2013-01-24 04:39:12 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: This About That: Uchiha_Cycliste: Yeah, this country totally doesn't need Silicon Valley anyway, amirite?

Silicon Valley is not in San Francisco.

nope, it's just 40 or so miles away by car. We can totally nuke one and the other will be just fine... not to mention, you DO know that there are a shiat load of tech and financial companies in the City too, right?


there are more startups and more innovation going on in SF now than in Silicon valley.

losing SF would put a huge serious dent in technology innovation for many many years.
 
2013-01-24 05:10:58 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: MmmmBacon: AverageAmericanGuy: MmmmBacon: This is interesting. Best Korea starts talking tough again just after tensions between China and Japan reach a fever pitch over those stupid islands northsouth of Japan that both countries claim for themselves? NK may not be able to deliver a nuke to the US with any real accuracy, but they certainly can float a Junk into Tokyo Bay and blow up a nuke it might be carrying on-board.

Best Korea does nothing without China's approval.
China wants to put pressure on Japan to give up those islands.
Furthermore, China wants the US occupied elsewhere, so they can't interfere.

So Best Korea starts talking smack, which puts the fear of Un in both the leadership of Japan and South Korea, and it keep our attention focused on NK rather than the China/Japan standoff... or at least China hopes, anyway.

[www.csmonitor.com image 600x724]

I never said China was wrong in their claim to those islands, just that both countries claim them, and they have nearly come to blows over it recently. And now, suddenly Best Korea decides it is a good time to threaten the US with nuclear war?

That's not a coincidence, that's planned. And China is the one behind it.

China knows the US signed a treaty to defend Japan, and so if they attack Japan, we are obligated to enter the fray. China does not want that. So get Kim Jong-Un to stir things up with the US, which allows China to either take the islands themselves (hoping we won't fight them over unoccupied land). Or - worst case scenario - they have Best Korea attack Japan, which forces the US into war with NK, while China takes those islands in the chaos. Maybe they take Taiwan as well, hoping the US won't be willing to fight a two-fronted war, but that seems unlikely.

In the end, do I really think it'll come to war? No. China may simply be reminding Japan that it controls the neighborhood Crazy, and can send it their way, should Japan refuse to play ball over those islands. Also, Best Korea might just b ...


Sorry, didn't mean to sound antagonized. It's all good.
 
2013-01-24 05:22:13 AM
This is me being scared.
 
2013-01-24 05:23:04 AM
Good ruck.
 
2013-01-24 05:30:35 AM
I can't remember was it a two minute hate or 5 minute hate that Orwell spoke about? I guess I need to reread that that book just remember we were always at war with ....

/Well, damn me and my faulty memory I can't remember ; )
 
2013-01-24 05:36:23 AM
imthefonze: Lol. Hey we are safe, the u.n. Sent them an angry letter. Also, im willing to give up san fransisco for us to finally go scorched earth policy on them.

Since 1945, the UN has been credited with negotiating 172 peaceful settlements that have ended regional conflicts. But, you know, keep derping.
 
2013-01-24 05:41:01 AM

bigpeeler: [i.imgur.com image 255x216]
<a href="http://imgur.com/mY2bsdd"><img src="http://i.imgur.com/mY2bsdd.gif" title="Hosted by imgur.com" alt="" /></a>


What's the source vid for that cat?
 
2013-01-24 05:51:32 AM
Considering a couple carrier task forces could put the entire land surface of the country down to sea level before any B-52s even got there from Barksdale to start the real carpet-bombing, I'm not too worried.

If I were China I'd invade the DPRK myself and do a bit of regime change. It works so well for America after all.
 
2013-01-24 05:53:53 AM
comicstroll.com
 
2013-01-24 05:54:54 AM
America now: We have to send a message. Let's get the UN to send an angry letter.
America in the 80s: We have to send a message. Hit that farks house with a missile.
 
2013-01-24 06:03:14 AM

AaronSynn: America now: We have to send a message. Let's get the UN to send an angry letter.
America in the 80s: We have to send a message. Hit that farks house with a missile.


translation: i dont know my own history or understand diplomacy at all.
 
2013-01-24 06:05:23 AM
We laughed when the terrorists promised all out war....
 
2013-01-24 06:06:06 AM

Gyrfalcon: MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.

All of these.

The sideshow in Iraq was stupid, pointless and ugly; but the first two months in Afghanistan broke the back of the Taliban pretty effectively. If the administration hadn't had its collective head up its ass, we probably would have been in and out just like Desert Storm; but alas. I suspect that if No. Korea lobbed a nuke anywhere in our direction, South Korea would be a island in a week and a half.


Nah the difference with Desert Storm was that we weren't fighting an ideal just an invading military force. They can both be defeated but the latter is a lot easier than the former. That involves changing minds.
 
2013-01-24 06:07:43 AM

This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.


Neither would be a fair trade... maybe something like Dickinson, ND....
 
2013-01-24 06:15:06 AM
This wont end well. Son of Lord Fatass is getting all thermonuclear saber rattle-y, is he? Life isn't like cartoons, chubbo. You come around here tripping over your dick and there won't be much to go home to. You'd think the planet would have grown up a bit. *sigh*
 
2013-01-24 06:26:54 AM

NobleHam: miniflea: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

North Korea is incapable of striking the United States, or of holding out for more than a few weeks of conventional war, if that. What they ARE capable of is causing hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths in Seoul within the first hours of any war.

Anti US bluster has always been a key part of the Kim's stranglehold on their country, but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.

I really doubt they could manage to do much damage to Seoul, and Seoul has pretty extensive preparations for such an event so casualties would be minimal. They might have been able to do some serious harm in the 80s, but at this point they'd only have about 10 minutes before all of their artillery bunkers were buried in rubble and rocket shrapnel. They certainly couldn't nuke Seoul. Any plane they sent would be shot down just over the DMZ and they don't have any other delivery method short of carrying it through a tunnel under the DMZ, and I don't think they've got any of those the South hasn't found.


The problem with attacking Best Korea is that China would probably get involved. Attacking N. Korea would probably cause the Chinese to launch their own counter-attack against any invading forces. In order to go to war with N.Korea, we would have to convince China to support or stay neutral on the invasion.
 
2013-01-24 06:26:56 AM

ontariolightning: US can't do shiat to NK because of the proximity to South Korea and Seoul.


Worst Korea (and namely Samsung) have been on an Anti-American/Death-to-America propaganda kick for quite some time. They can fend for themselves.
 
2013-01-24 06:29:11 AM

Bomb Head Mohammed: Since 1945, the UN has been credited with negotiating 172 peaceful settlements that have ended regional conflicts. But, you know, keep derping.


Citation, please.
 
2013-01-24 06:31:19 AM
Has Alec Baldwin issued a statement yet?
 
2013-01-24 06:32:12 AM
Aw, somebody's hungry and cranky.
 
2013-01-24 06:33:26 AM
If only they had a rocket lawnchair...
 
2013-01-24 06:36:37 AM
Isn't it rich?
Are we a pair?
Me here at last on the ground,
You in mid-air.
Send in the drones.

Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move.
Where are the drones?
Send in the drones.

Just when I'd dropped
a Mark 42,
Finally knowing
The ass that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again
With my usual flair,
Sure of my aim,
No one is there.

Don't we love force?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you'd see what I want -
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the drones?
There ought to be drones.
Quick, send in the drones.

What a surprise.
Who could foresee
I'd come to feel about you
What you'd felt about me?
Why only now when i see
The smoke drifting away?
What a surprise.
What a cliché.

Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing Korea this late,
Guided by FLIR?
And where are the drones?
Quick, send in the drones.
Don't bother - they're here.

-Stephen Sondheim/ Hammertoe
 
2013-01-24 06:38:41 AM
i18.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-24 06:40:13 AM

spacelord321: Actually, target the whole "California Republic" for all I care. Worked out there this year and never saw more than a handfull of American flags. Every other house had Cal. Rep. flag. They seem to forget there are 49 others, even more than Texas has.

Jk about the target part, but WTF guys?


You must not be in Texas often..
 
2013-01-24 06:45:16 AM
If in had a dollar for every time the North Koreans threatened all out action against the US I could finally afford to be able to move somewhere safe from The Wraith of North Korea!
 
2013-01-24 06:46:12 AM
I know it might serve some of China's interests to keep the US/Japan/SKorea busy worrying about NKorea nukes, but I'd be surprised if they are going to put up with too much more of it.

China is getting rich by doing business with South Korea, Taiwan, Japan and the US, both directly and by being in various supply chains, and the North Koreans are clearly a threat to that. Also, the last thing China wants is a flow of starving North Koreans over their border.

So at some point I see capitalist branch of the Chinese Communist party saying "enough", I don't think they will do anything overt, but maybe take the North Korean leadership for a nice boat ride somewhere.

Just my 2 cents.
 
2013-01-24 06:59:10 AM

Dejah: Maybe Hans Blix can defuse this tense situation.


Hans Brix? Ah, you're berstin my bers, Hans Brix!
 
2013-01-24 07:05:10 AM

whidbey: After a failed long-range rocket launch in April, North Korea ignored international condemnation and carried out a second attempt last month. That one succeeded in putting a satellite in orbit, Pyongyang's stated objective.

Wow my paranoia level just spiked.


You should have seen the thread at the time, people were watching the orbital track in real time, afraid it was going to de-orbit with a thermonuclear payload on their head. It was... pretty pathetic, actually
 
2013-01-24 07:09:22 AM

ko_kyi: Aw, somebody's hungry and cranky.


Grass doesn't grow very well in the middle of winter, with freezing temperatures.
Many in Best Korea live on grass and whatever else they can scrape by on, having no other options.
Eventually those hungry masses will turn on Best Korea's government, unless aid can be procured.

Time for another nuclear threat.

I still think China is behind a lot of this, but given the choice of threatening a Superpower or inciting civil war caused by an uprising of your starving population, threatening America is a good choice.
 
2013-01-24 07:15:18 AM

mr_a: I know it might serve some of China's interests to keep the US/Japan/SKorea busy worrying about NKorea nukes, but I'd be surprised if they are going to put up with too much more of it.

China is getting rich by doing business with South Korea, Taiwan, Japan and the US, both directly and by being in various supply chains, and the North Koreans are clearly a threat to that. Also, the last thing China wants is a flow of starving North Koreans over their border.

So at some point I see capitalist branch of the Chinese Communist party saying "enough", I don't think they will do anything overt, but maybe take the North Korean leadership for a nice boat ride somewhere.

Just my 2 cents.


Call it "Forced Reunification" with South Korea. China works with SK to aid NK over a multi-year plan to slowly reunify the two countries, while China gives Un and his cronies safe harbor somewhere. It would be a slow process, but in a couple of decades at the latest the North could be a burgeoning home for industry, built in partnership by SK and China.
 
2013-01-24 07:27:39 AM

MmmmBacon: mr_a: I know it might serve some of China's interests to keep the US/Japan/SKorea busy worrying about NKorea nukes, but I'd be surprised if they are going to put up with too much more of it.

China is getting rich by doing business with South Korea, Taiwan, Japan and the US, both directly and by being in various supply chains, and the North Koreans are clearly a threat to that. Also, the last thing China wants is a flow of starving North Koreans over their border.

So at some point I see capitalist branch of the Chinese Communist party saying "enough", I don't think they will do anything overt, but maybe take the North Korean leadership for a nice boat ride somewhere.

Just my 2 cents.

Call it "Forced Reunification" with South Korea. China works with SK to aid NK over a multi-year plan to slowly reunify the two countries, while China gives Un and his cronies safe harbor somewhere. It would be a slow process, but in a couple of decades at the latest the North could be a burgeoning home for industry, built in partnership by SK and China.


China right now is enjoying keeping the industry to itself, as well as the benefits of having a land barrier between them and the industrialized western allies.
Unless the antics of North Korea start to cost them personally, this proposal is alot of work for questionable benefit.

/SK has the similar issues, looked at from their perspective.
/They are happy enough to live without the bill for cleaning up the place.
 
2013-01-24 07:29:41 AM

NobleHam: miniflea: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

North Korea is incapable of striking the United States, or of holding out for more than a few weeks of conventional war, if that. What they ARE capable of is causing hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths in Seoul within the first hours of any war.

Anti US bluster has always been a key part of the Kim's stranglehold on their country, but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.

I really doubt they could manage to do much damage to Seoul, and Seoul has pretty extensive preparations for such an event so casualties would be minimal. They might have been able to do some serious harm in the 80s, but at this point they'd only have about 10 minutes before all of their artillery bunkers were buried in rubble and rocket shrapnel. They certainly couldn't nuke Seoul. Any plane they sent would be shot down just over the DMZ and they don't have any other delivery method short of carrying it through a tunnel under the DMZ, and I don't think they've got any of those the South hasn't found.


Dude, have you been to Seoul? It's nice. It's a major world city. Millions of people walk around on the street. There could indeed be a LOT of casualties in the first few minutes.
 
2013-01-24 07:32:33 AM

MmmmBacon: mr_a: I know it might serve some of China's interests to keep the US/Japan/SKorea busy worrying about NKorea nukes, but I'd be surprised if they are going to put up with too much more of it.

China is getting rich by doing business with South Korea, Taiwan, Japan and the US, both directly and by being in various supply chains, and the North Koreans are clearly a threat to that. Also, the last thing China wants is a flow of starving North Koreans over their border.

So at some point I see capitalist branch of the Chinese Communist party saying "enough", I don't think they will do anything overt, but maybe take the North Korean leadership for a nice boat ride somewhere.

Just my 2 cents.

Call it "Forced Reunification" with South Korea. China works with SK to aid NK over a multi-year plan to slowly reunify the two countries, while China gives Un and his cronies safe harbor somewhere. It would be a slow process, but in a couple of decades at the latest the North could be a burgeoning home for industry, built in partnership by SK and China.


Unlikely.

SK doesn't trust China, and likely never will. They're content with a big buffer zone (NK) between them and China.

.Most of the far east either hates or distrusts everyone else (e.g., Japan, SK, NK, China, etc.). There is no love lost between any of them.
 
2013-01-24 07:32:38 AM

Richard C Stanford: NobleHam: miniflea: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

North Korea is incapable of striking the United States, or of holding out for more than a few weeks of conventional war, if that. What they ARE capable of is causing hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths in Seoul within the first hours of any war.

Anti US bluster has always been a key part of the Kim's stranglehold on their country, but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.

I really doubt they could manage to do much damage to Seoul, and Seoul has pretty extensive preparations for such an event so casualties would be minimal. They might have been able to do some serious harm in the 80s, but at this point they'd only have about 10 minutes before all of their artillery bunkers were buried in rubble and rocket shrapnel. They certainly couldn't nuke Seoul. Any plane they sent would be shot down just over the DMZ and they don't have any other delivery method short of carrying it through a tunnel under the DMZ, and I don't think they've got any of those the South hasn't found.

The problem with attacking Best Korea is that China would probably get involved. Attacking N. Korea would probably cause the Chinese to launch their own counter-attack against any invading forces. In order to go to war with N.Korea, we would have to convince China to support or stay neutral on the invasion.


Something i find curious about these Best Korea Invasion Threads is how little S. Korea seems to factor into people's calculus. Everyone talks about the big bad US Military kickin DPRK's butt, but wait, the Chinese...

Um, what about the S. Koreans?

The reason noone's done anything: S. Korea doesn't care about anything but the status quo. They've seen the issues the Germans have had with unification, and E. Germany was a goddamn paradise compared to the North. S. Korea doesn't *want* unification as they don't want to pay the freakin' bill and deal with it.

Furthermore, the S. Koreans are the ones who are potentially going to die in large numbers if in its death throes the n. Korean state decides to lob a nuke or two south. In the eyes of the S. Koreans, or so it would seem, the north aint worth it. Why risk losing seoul and hundreds of thousands to a worst case scenario war, only to have to then rebuild your own capital and economy AND rebuild the north and deal with millions of basically useless, destitute unskilled peasants and revamp at best completely wrecked early 20th century infrastructure?

From our perspective as people who don't really, fundamentally, have a dog in this fight, its easy to say "the north should be overthrown! Prison camps for generations! Horrible regime! [moral outrage reason!] [hypothetical security interest reason!] Well, sure, that's all true.

The world would be a better place without Best Korea, sure. But the vast majority of the cost of that is going to fall on the South, and frankly doesn't seem like they've got the stomach for the price they might have to pay if goes badly. And frankly... fair enough.

Reunification is a noble goal. Its not worth losing Seoul over.

(my inner internet tough guy and chairborne ranger self, however, would love the chance to see that war though... would be something to behold)
 
2013-01-24 07:32:55 AM
China views N.Kor the same way we do, as an annoyance that can cause some damage to people out of ignorance and power grasping.

Everyone talks of being afraid of China, but ultimately they are on our side because they rely on us to buy all the cheap crap they make. It is a mutual relationship, they are not dumb, there is nothing to gain from war with the US, but a partnership and the #2 say in International affairs is pretty hefty sword to swing and they are happy with it.
 
2013-01-24 07:38:52 AM
How I think of NK
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-24 07:39:43 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: sweet Korean twat buffet.


This is my favorite phrase of the day.
 
2013-01-24 07:39:45 AM
I'm always down for some all out Korean action.
 
2013-01-24 07:44:58 AM

FatherDale: AverageAmericanGuy: sweet Korean twat buffet.

This is my favorite phrase of the day.


It should be a band name too.
 
2013-01-24 07:51:02 AM
Let's take him at his word. I'm tired of this. Tell China to put their welding glasses on and look away from NK. We'll take it from here.

Bush said the next surprise may be the form of a mushroom cloud. NK is openly threading our country with one. We should attack. Now.
 
2013-01-24 07:54:19 AM
It's winter so the Norks must need something.
What is it now?
Food?
Oil?

wtf, Norks. Just wtf.

We need to stop reinforcing this behavior: They fire rockets, we give them stuff.
The next thing they get from us should be their cute little rockets shot out of the sky.
 
2013-01-24 07:54:27 AM
Mickey fickey you Joe!
 
2013-01-24 07:56:28 AM

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: Let's take him at his word. I'm tired of this. Tell China to put their welding glasses on and look away from NK. We'll take it from here.

Bush said the next surprise may be the form of a mushroom cloud. NK is openly threading our country with one. We should attack. Now.


Not gonna happen. Dropping nukes on NK, with China and SK just next door, would be a huge mistake politically and economically. Attacking with conventional weapons leaves Best Korea an opportunity to attack SK or Japan (or both), with conventional and nuclear weapons.

No, we'll send them food and heating oil, and NK will shut up for a while until they need more handouts.
 
2013-01-24 07:56:49 AM
Silly North Korea, you think you can take us on with your army and nukes? America doesn't fear you!

The only thing America fears is its armed populace. According to gun nuts and Fark threads, it is the only thing keeping the country from becoming like you guys.
 
2013-01-24 07:58:21 AM
For a look at how such an "all-out action" might turn out:

i48.tinypic.com

/yeah, they invaded Australia and not the US, but you've got to start somewhere.
 
2013-01-24 08:03:47 AM

Xenomech: For a look at how such an "all-out action" might turn out:

[i48.tinypic.com image 214x317]

/yeah, they invaded Australia and not the US, but you've got to start somewhere.


Somehow I think yelling "KOALAS!" with an AK-47 raised to the sky isn't quite as effective as "WOLVERINES!" was.

/C. Thomas Howell FTMFW!
 
2013-01-24 08:08:34 AM
Sounds like a legitimate threat and we should send Japan in to take them over.
 
2013-01-24 08:14:27 AM
My reaction to this:
www.vh1.com
 
2013-01-24 08:14:39 AM
The thing most people here seem to fail to realize is that Best Korea doesn't need to be accurate, they just need to get a missile into the air.
When you hate everyone, you don't really care where it lands.
 
2013-01-24 08:19:08 AM
Didn't these guys just beat us at a spy game recently?

Why are we taking them so lightly and blowing them off as 'not capable' of anything?

OH, no oil.
 
2013-01-24 08:32:20 AM

Kell Hound: Oh, crap. They saw the Red Dawn remake and thought it was a 'how-to'...


Came here to say this.

/maybe they are being paid as part of the marketing campaign
 
2013-01-24 08:35:01 AM

Xenomech: For a look at how such an "all-out action" might turn out:

[i48.tinypic.com image 214x317]

/yeah, they invaded Australia and not the US, but you've got to start somewhere.


Forget that flick. THIS is how the war began!!!!1!!1!! WOLVERINES!!!!!

mjcdn.motherjones.com

/sigh
 
2013-01-24 08:43:24 AM
"North Korea announces intention to commit National Suicide."

or more realistically;

"North Korea as full of shiat as ever"
 
2013-01-24 08:54:05 AM
The sooner the government of North Korea is consigned to the shiatheap of history, the better and if I could push a button and cause the highest-ranked 200 members of that regime to undergo Scanners-style head explosions, well . . . you could consider that button pushed.
 
2013-01-24 09:01:32 AM
I really wish I has something diplomatic or intelligent to say about this but my only response is " are they farking retarded".
 
2013-01-24 09:03:41 AM

Father_Jack: Richard C Stanford: NobleHam: miniflea: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

North Korea is incapable of striking the United States, or of holding out for more than a few weeks of conventional war, if that. What they ARE capable of is causing hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths in Seoul within the first hours of any war.

Anti US bluster has always been a key part of the Kim's stranglehold on their country, but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.

I really doubt they could manage to do much damage to Seoul, and Seoul has pretty extensive preparations for such an event so casualties would be minimal. They might have been able to do some serious harm in the 80s, but at this point they'd only have about 10 minutes before all of their artillery bunkers were buried in rubble and rocket shrapnel. They certainly couldn't nuke Seoul. Any plane they sent would be shot down just over the DMZ and they don't have any other delivery method short of carrying it through a tunnel under the DMZ, and I don't think they've got any of those the South hasn't found.

The problem with attacking Best Korea is that China would probably get involved. Attacking N. Korea would probably cause the Chinese to launch their own counter-attack against any invading forces. In order to go to war with N.Korea, we would have to convince China to support or stay neutral on the invasion.

Something i find curious about these Best Korea Invasion Threads is how little S. Korea seems to factor into people's calculus. Everyone talks about the big bad US Military kickin DPRK's butt, but wait, the Chinese...

Um, what about the S. Koreans?

The reason noone's done anything: S. Korea doesn't care about anything but the status quo. They've seen the issues the Germans have had with unification, and E. Germany was a goddamn paradise compared to the North. S. Korea doesn't *want* unification as they don't want to pay the freakin' bill and deal with it.

Furthermore, the S. Koreans are the ones who are potentially going to die in large numbers if in its death throes the n. Korean state decides to lob a nuke or two south. In the eyes of the S. Koreans, or so it would seem, the north aint worth it. Why risk losing seoul and hundreds of thousands to a worst case scenario war, only to have to then rebuild your own capital and economy AND rebuild the north and deal with millions of basically useless, destitute unskilled peasants and revamp at best completely wrecked early 20th century infrastructure?

From our perspective as people who don't really, fundamentally, have a dog in this fight, its easy to say "the north should be overthrown! Prison camps for generations! Horrible regime! [moral outrage reason!] [hypothetical security interest reason!] Well, sure, that's all true.

The world would be a better place without Best Korea, sure. But the vast majority of the cost of that is going to fall on the South, and frankly doesn't seem like they've got the stomach for the price they might have to pay if goes badly. And frankly... fair enough.

Reunification is a noble goal. Its not worth losing Seoul over.

(my inner internet tough guy and chairborne ranger self, however, would love the chance to see that war though... would be something to behold)


The way I see things, you're basically discounting the lessons learned since German reunification. The costs could be easily subsidized by nations (such as, say, the US) looking for a cheap and "ethical" alternative to Chinese factories, once the NKns drop this silly charade.

Which is probably a damn good reason China keeps propping them up, now that I think about it-- buy yourself a temporary monopoly.
 
2013-01-24 09:16:41 AM
1) Wait until a few hours after nightfall during the week
2) Carpet bomb anything with electricity
3) Congratulations, you've destroyed the tyrannical ruling class
 
2013-01-24 09:24:46 AM
GRASS PARKING ROT?
 
2013-01-24 09:35:16 AM
I do think we should stop dealing with them, short of bombing everything that uses lights at night, just stop giving them food for their empty promises.

The people will either starve to death and there will be no country left to rule, or they'll see they have nothing to lose and rise up...

Either way, stop the cycle, no food for lies!!!
 
2013-01-24 09:36:17 AM
Couplathings

1. The South is gonna rise again!!!
www.crwflags.com

2. Does NK realize that the US has a butt load of guns and crazy people just waiting to use them?
 
2013-01-24 09:45:13 AM
"Analysts say it still has a lot of work to do to master the technology necessary to mount a nuclear warhead on missile or accurately target it."

duct tape and pop it in orbit over the u.s. does something called an 'emp' which sets everyone's gas gauges automatically to 'E'.
 
2013-01-24 09:46:21 AM

KellyX: I do think we should stop dealing with them, short of bombing everything that uses lights at night, just stop giving them food for their empty promises.


hi, um, they shut the lights off at night, actually. to save electricity. it's kinda third-world-esque, but that's how they roll, brah.
 
2013-01-24 09:49:17 AM
change 'one laptop per child' (OLPC) to One iPhone per North Korean (OINK) and start airdropping those things on them.

free speech and democracy, steve jobs will give you.
 
2013-01-24 09:56:43 AM

The All-Powerful Atheismo: miniflea: but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.

Kim Jong Il isn't quite on the ball as he used to be.


He does tend to lay around a lot. Kinda lazy, apparently.
 
2013-01-24 09:58:23 AM

utah dude: change 'one laptop per child' (OLPC) to One iPhone per North Korean (OINK) and start airdropping those things on them.

free speech and democracy, steve jobs will give you.


Free speech works up until the other guy decides to beat you back into line with a stick.
NK is far beyond the point where facebook can help.
 
2013-01-24 09:59:02 AM

CipollinaFan: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

Doubt that they have a rocket that will go that far. I would imagine that that take out Seoul first before that attempt anything against us.


They managed to put a satellite in orbit last month. That puts us in range.
 
2013-01-24 10:03:27 AM

sid244: Couplathings

2. Does NK realize that the US has a butt load of guns and crazy people just waiting to use them?


Heck even many of the non crazy people with guns wouldn't mind getting in on the action I bet. Mean seriously, who isn't tired of NK's mouth at this point?
 
2013-01-24 10:05:37 AM

way south: Free speech works up until the other guy decides to beat you back into line with a stick.
NK is far beyond the point where facebook can help.


fine, full auto-iPhones with high capacity magazines and bayonet mounts.
 
2013-01-24 10:16:34 AM

Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.


Yeah, that whole "three generations" thing about NK is really, really farked up.

They declare you an enemy of the state without even so much as a kangaroo court/show trial, you go to prison, your entire extended family goes to prison, for life with no chance of release, ever. Then, the next two generations of that family are born into that prison and are prisoners from birth to grave, with the grandchildren being released from prison. That's assuming the family lives that long, and all members don't either starve or are summarily executed for even petty offenses.

By "prison" we mean conditions akin to a concentration camp, judging from the reports that have come in and the accounts of the only person to have ever escaped from them.
 
2013-01-24 10:20:52 AM
Meh.  Call me back when they have real ICBMs, not just cardboard mock ups.
 
2013-01-24 10:22:08 AM

MythDragon: How I think of NK
[i.imgur.com image 850x478]


Thanks! My new screen saver.
 
2013-01-24 10:26:55 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Trust me, Nork. We don't want to have any farking thing to do with you. Really. We just don't care about you at all.

We care about the sweet Korean twat buffet our soldiers get during their deployment, and we care about cheap LG and Samsung TVs. I suppose we care about those cheap Hyundais that have way better power than the Jap rice burners. And Korean BBQ is pretty great, but keep that dog meat away.

Anyway, settle the fark down. Hey, if you give up your nukes, you can visit Tokyo Disneyland. Our treat.


I loved my wrx :(
 
2013-01-24 10:45:15 AM

utah dude: way south: Free speech works up until the other guy decides to beat you back into line with a stick.
NK is far beyond the point where facebook can help.

fine, full auto-iPhones with high capacity magazines and bayonet mounts.


I seriously wonder if a 2A solution would even work at this point.
Think of it as a nation sized domestic violence case. The folks there have lived in tyranny so long it would probably be a culture shock if they didn't have someone bossing them around.

/You could probably sprinkle phones, rifles, and RPG's everywhere and they'll just round the lot up and turn it in to the nearest army depot.
 
2013-01-24 10:45:51 AM
Serious question - when was the last time a NATO country had a big parade to show off missiles? I don't remember one, but is it common practice anywhere in the west? It seems like China, NK, Pakistan, India and a few other nations do it regularly. Does Russia still feel the need?
 
2013-01-24 10:47:57 AM

spacelord321: MythDragon: How I think of NK
[i.imgur.com image 850x478]

Thanks! My new screen saver.


Do a GIS for "bear come at me bro" and you can probably find a nice hi res image
 
2013-01-24 10:53:38 AM
Best Korea in Winter
We set off nuke; sea of fire!
Give us stuff, ditch rats
 
2013-01-24 10:55:28 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: Uchiha_Cycliste: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

The problem is then fatty the grand Poobah tells the people that anyone caught in possession of these things will not only be sent to a labor camp, but will be condemning their families to labor camps as well.

That's why we have to carpet the place with dogs, man. People don't have to possess them they just bend over when nobody's looking and take a bite. Then they just do the old grade-school "in class slow chew" and hum a bit and look at a cloud or something and go about their business. And the whole country has so much TP it looks like Rosie Rottencrotch's house the morning after homecoming when they're squatting in the bushes they just pluck it.

I contend that the punishment would be the same. It's the reason that I don't think air dropping happy means is a good idea either. I seriously think Kim would be willing to imprison whole cities to maintain his control of the population.

Okay, then. What about BBQ stands all along the DMZ with huge fans blowing the smell of succulent, succulent baby-back ribs and brisket and chicken and sausages across into NK?

Yeah, I know, mandatory nose-plugs or labor camps, etc. You're such a buzz-kill. How about brainstorming a little with me instead of ag'in' me, bro? I'm trying to solve a problem here.


I'm with you Bud, but we have to acknowledge the existing framework and bring change from within. These folks are too scared and possibly brainwashed for outside influence to have much effect outside of causing trouble to the very people we are trying to help. The change has to come from within and it has to be a hell of a lot of them, a 5th column sort of situation. Now how we can get that to happen I don't know. In the meantime the best we could do to assist the crushing hunger and poverty would be to slip people to pass around seeds I think . Give them the resources to start feeding themselves, now that laws on self-grown food are loosening a little bit.. Beyond that a small group of smuggled in plotters would have to be the beginning of a much larger and time consuming sedition plot.

\Sorry about the late reply, sleep and all that.
 
2013-01-24 10:58:20 AM
Easiest way to solve the NK situation is to have the UN lean on China to get off of it's communist ass and deal with NK or lose their security council veto. It's not hard to justify either. How can you have any legitimacy in such an organization when you have insane neighbors actively trying to destabilize the region and you sit by and do nothing?
 
2013-01-24 11:00:17 AM

Xenomech: For a look at how such an "all-out action" might turn out:

[i48.tinypic.com image 214x317]

/yeah, they invaded Australia and not the US, but you've got to start somewhere.


images4.wikia.nocookie.net
Shaka, when the walls fell
 
2013-01-24 11:08:07 AM
I wouldn't worry too much. The tests they are carrying out are underground where, mostly, nobody can get hurt except the Norks themselves if they don't seal their borehole up well enough. Vaporizing their entire space launch complex is fairly easy, even with conventional munitions. A few submarine-launched tomahawks would do the job nicely.
 
2013-01-24 11:09:19 AM
Any other Administration, I'd say North Korea is in for some urban renewal if they try that shiat, but with Obama?

He hates America and is probably coordinating the attack for greatest efficiency in killing the most Americans that can be accomplished.
 
2013-01-24 11:15:11 AM
Is this the device?

Too obscure?
 
2013-01-24 11:18:29 AM
Damn hotlink protection.

Is this the device?

www.potatowave.com
 
2013-01-24 11:24:34 AM
Hey, North Korea

I don't want to sound presumptuous, but isn't it a bit silly to go around waving your dick at people thousands of miles away when you can't even manage to feed, provide electricity for or educate your own people outside of a bunch of propaganda, pamphlet style "we are best in world, all you need to know" malarkey?

I mean, you might want to look into that.

Cause you ain't helping ANYBODY, let alone best Koreans.
 
2013-01-24 11:25:49 AM

MythDragon: spacelord321: MythDragon: How I think of NK
[i.imgur.com image 850x478]

Thanks! My new screen saver.

Do a GIS for "bear come at me bro" and you can probably find a nice hi res image


; )
 
2013-01-24 11:39:44 AM

ontariolightning: GAT_00: Quit with the newsflash. This isn't scary, they aren't going to attack us. They just threaten so they can offer something for more aid. By being scared of them you're doing exactly what they want.

North Korea says no dialogue on the denuclearization of their country will be possible in the future


Kinda hard to have a dialogue with a smoking crater.
 
2013-01-24 11:45:57 AM
The only thing North Korea has going for it is it's friendship with China. But China isn't going to support them in a military action against us. All we have to do to keep China in line is tell them that if they give us any shiat, we'll offer massive tax incentives for Apple and other companies to produce their products in the US. China will then step aside and let us mop the floor with that dopey looking farker and his cadre of anal tonguing worshipers.
 
2013-01-24 11:47:12 AM
That would be...unwise.
 
2013-01-24 11:50:08 AM
media.giantbomb.com

Welcome to New Best Korea!
 
2013-01-24 12:26:45 PM

Boojum2k: drjekel_mrhyde: GarretSidzaka: im usually not in favor of military action, and am a leftist. but some precision drone strikes to cripple their rocketry program are seeming prudent

We would have to destroy anything they have that can reach Seoul

Miles of built-in artillery sites, thoroughly hardened. What's in them may be as dangerous as snowballs for all we know, but it would be difficult to take them out in case they actually have working weaponry. Very difficult.


Not to mention extremely unfriendly terrain with lots of mountains. We can't take our big stuff there like tanks or Strykers.
 
2013-01-24 12:46:08 PM

AverageAmericanGuy: MmmmBacon: This is interesting. Best Korea starts talking tough again just after tensions between China and Japan reach a fever pitch over those stupid islands northsouth of Japan that both countries claim for themselves? NK may not be able to deliver a nuke to the US with any real accuracy, but they certainly can float a Junk into Tokyo Bay and blow up a nuke it might be carrying on-board.

Best Korea does nothing without China's approval.
China wants to put pressure on Japan to give up those islands.
Furthermore, China wants the US occupied elsewhere, so they can't interfere.

So Best Korea starts talking smack, which puts the fear of Un in both the leadership of Japan and South Korea, and it keep our attention focused on NK rather than the China/Japan standoff... or at least China hopes, anyway.

[www.csmonitor.com image 600x724]


You listen to too much western media bias. Truth is China has a lot less influence over NK than what most folks in America think. Also Japan and China are not going to war over Senkaku/Diaoyu islands. It's saber rattling and playing chicken/ dog and pony show to keep the ignorant populace happy.
 
2013-01-24 12:48:30 PM

Egoy3k: Easiest way to solve the NK situation is to have the UN lean on China to get off of it's communist ass and deal with NK or lose their security council veto. It's not hard to justify either. How can you have any legitimacy in such an organization when you have insane neighbors actively trying to destabilize the region and you sit by and do nothing?


i am now in love with you.
 
2013-01-24 12:57:05 PM

GAT_00: Quit with the newsflash. This isn't scary, they aren't going to attack us. They just threaten so they can offer something for more aid. By being scared of them you're doing exactly what they want.


You sound like someone who lives on the east coast.
 
2013-01-24 01:00:52 PM

JesusJuice: I bet with a lot of fancy technology a special forces team could go into NK and set themselves up as gods. They seem to dig that kind of shiat.


Ill bring a bic lighter and some deoderant. Maybe a few 50 lbs bags of rice.
 
2013-01-24 01:07:58 PM

AverageAmericanGuy:
We care about the sweet Korean twat buffet our soldiers get during their deployment...


Your terminology is way off here, mister. You must be referring to that area in Itaewon just north of Fish Alley, an area in which well-dressed young women ply their services by calling out "Short Form! Long Form! Can do 1040 EZ, GI!" We used to call the place "Accountants Hill."
 
2013-01-24 01:15:18 PM

Great_Milenko: The only thing North Korea has going for it is it's friendship with China. But China isn't going to support them in a military action against us. All we have to do to keep China in line is tell them that if they give us any shiat, we'll offer massive tax incentives for Apple and other companies to produce their products in the US. China will then step aside and let us mop the floor with that dopey looking farker and his cadre of anal tonguing worshipers.


North Korea is Chinas retarded little brother. They just wish he'd shut up, sit down, and stop embarrassing them or complicating things when the grown-ups are talking.

Yeah, if NK gets aggressive, China will sit it out, probably shake their heads and wag their fingers, probably veto a UNSC resolution about it, but won't get militarily involved. China knows that their own government stability is fueled by their economic stability and growth, which keeps the people in line. A war with the US would shiat all over that.

For all the talk of our dependence on China, they need us just as much.

Sure, they got involved the first time, but that was 60 years ago and China has changed a lot. Their relaxation in the 1980's and economic opening has really turned them into being Communist in-name-only, they are now more an authoritarian socialist state than really communist.

On the other hand, Best Korea has wholeheartedly embraced Stalinist Communism. China thrived, Best Korea has turned into some nightmarish combination of 1984 and Mad Max.
 
2013-01-24 02:20:15 PM
You know, go ahead, N Korea. Start a fight with us.  We have never hurt you and actively offer aid to your sorry ass. You start that fight, we will be  fully justified in raining all holy hell down on your asses, and I for one will feel no sympathy for anyone but the civilians that your own goddamn posturing killed.

/Seriously, where the f**k does this 'KILL AMERICA!!!111!' thing come from? The one nation on farking Earth we've never actually farked with, and  that's the one pretending we're 'sworn enemies'?
//I mean, yes, we don't let them have nukes, but that's fairly typical international douchebaggery, not a sign of actual enmity (and partly a 'holy fark no, you lunatics don't get grown-up toys, you're farking insane').
 
2013-01-24 02:26:47 PM

Bomb Head Mohammed: imthefonze: Lol. Hey we are safe, the u.n. Sent them an angry letter. Also, im willing to give up san fransisco for us to finally go scorched earth policy on them.

Since 1945, the UN has been credited with negotiating 172 peaceful settlements that have ended regional conflicts. But, you know, keep derping.


The UN only functions as designed when both sides are willing to allow the UN to function as designed.

When one or both sides treats the UN as a joke, the UN functions as a joke.
 
2013-01-24 02:37:58 PM
Anybody else getting a strong whiff of Iran here?
 
2013-01-24 02:44:18 PM

NobleHam: miniflea: This About That: Would it cost us San Francisco or LA to finally be rid of N. Korea? It makes a difference.

North Korea is incapable of striking the United States, or of holding out for more than a few weeks of conventional war, if that. What they ARE capable of is causing hundreds of thousands of civilian deaths in Seoul within the first hours of any war.

Anti US bluster has always been a key part of the Kim's stranglehold on their country, but they (Jong Il at least, and lets hope his son as well) aren't so stupid as to believe their own propaganda.

I really doubt they could manage to do much damage to Seoul, and Seoul has pretty extensive preparations for such an event so casualties would be minimal. They might have been able to do some serious harm in the 80s, but at this point they'd only have about 10 minutes before all of their artillery bunkers were buried in rubble and rocket shrapnel. They certainly couldn't nuke Seoul. Any plane they sent would be shot down just over the DMZ and they don't have any other delivery method short of carrying it through a tunnel under the DMZ, and I don't think they've got any of those the South hasn't found.


1. They have hundreds of bunkers in the mountains within range of Seoul, and most of them are fortified and hidden well enough to withstand counterbattery or counterground operations from the ground and air, respectively, at least for the first week of combat.

2. NK has crappy aircraft, but they have a lot of them. If they really, really wanted to aerially deliver a nuke to Seoul, they could figure out a way to make it happen. Awfully hard to shoot down a flood of Cold War-era MiGs without some of them getting through.

3. I can't go into specifics, but every wargame I ever saw or participated in with NK as the focus inevitably resulted in one common conclusion: lots of dead South Koreans.
 
2013-01-24 03:23:49 PM

Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.


A friend of mine used to be stationed at the Berlin Wall, and he said the soldiers on each side would throw gifts to each other all the time; the East Germans would throw over bottles of vodka, and the Americans would throw over cartons of Marlboros. My buddy said that if TSHTF, they'd most likely meet in the middle and shake hands.
 
2013-01-24 03:24:38 PM

ontariolightning: Mock26: Just give that dumb, fat, f*ck all the Happy Meals he can shove down his face hole. Then cut him off. He will agree to any demands if he can have his farking Happy Meals again.

Don't say that. Don't be mean. He could be reading that comment and committ suicide. Words kill. Your post could be what sets him off and kills millions of people. Now apologize just in case he read it. Put out the fire.


Dear Kim Jong-un,

i am sorry that you are a dumb f*ck.

Insincerely,
Mock26.
 
2013-01-24 03:31:39 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-24 03:44:09 PM
So, this is a declaration of war yes?

They specifically mentioned the US and provoking the US with military acts.

Perhaps if we don't take them seriously as a nation declaring war, we can treat them as pirates and pick em off every time they stick their heads out of their holes?
 
2013-01-24 04:11:01 PM
PsiChick

2013-01-24 02:20:15 PM
You know, go ahead, N Korea. Start a fight with us. We have never hurt you and actively offer aid to your sorry ass. You start that fight, we will be fully justified in raining all holy hell down on your asses, and I for one will feel no sympathy for anyone but the civilians that your own goddamn posturing killed.

/Seriously, where the f**k does this 'KILL AMERICA!!!111!' thing come from? The one nation on farking Earth we've never actually farked with, and that's the one pretending we're 'sworn enemies'?


What do you mean? We fought a war there from 1950 - 1953. Remember MASH, the TV show? Alan Alda? Radar? HotLips Houlihan?
 
2013-01-24 04:18:09 PM

ReverendJynxed: So, this is a declaration of war yes?

They specifically mentioned the US and provoking the US with military acts.

Perhaps if we don't take them seriously as a nation declaring war, we can treat them as pirates and pick em off every time they stick their heads out of their holes?


If I remember correctly, we are still at war with North Korea. We never signed a peace treaty with them.
 
2013-01-24 04:26:54 PM

ReverendJynxed: So, this is a declaration of war yes?

They specifically mentioned the US and provoking the US with military acts.

Perhaps if we don't take them seriously as a nation declaring war, we can treat them as pirates and pick em off every time they stick their heads out of their holes?


Mock26: ReverendJynxed: So, this is a declaration of war yes?

They specifically mentioned the US and provoking the US with military acts.

Perhaps if we don't take them seriously as a nation declaring war, we can treat them as pirates and pick em off every time they stick their heads out of their holes?

If I remember correctly, we are still at war with North Korea. We never signed a peace treaty with them.


That's right. So, can they declare war on us or what?
 
2013-01-24 04:58:42 PM

Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 600x432]


"This calls for a delicate blend of psychology and extreme violence."
 
2013-01-24 05:12:35 PM

SirEattonHogg: PsiChick

2013-01-24 02:20:15 PM
You know, go ahead, N Korea. Start a fight with us. We have never hurt you and actively offer aid to your sorry ass. You start that fight, we will be fully justified in raining all holy hell down on your asses, and I for one will feel no sympathy for anyone but the civilians that your own goddamn posturing killed.

/Seriously, where the f**k does this 'KILL AMERICA!!!111!' thing come from? The one nation on farking Earth we've never actually farked with, and that's the one pretending we're 'sworn enemies'?


What do you mean? We fought a war there from 1950 - 1953. Remember MASH, the TV show? Alan Alda? Radar? HotLips Houlihan?


...I'm twenty, the most I know about MASH is that it was an old fart's idea of comedy. Are you farking kidding?

*googles*

Oh, that explains it, we never actually declared war on them...FFS, how did this not make history textbooks? This actually explains quite a lot.

/Goddamnit, can we start funding and researching education already?
 
2013-01-24 05:24:04 PM

PsiChick: SirEattonHogg: PsiChick

2013-01-24 02:20:15 PM
You know, go ahead, N Korea. Start a fight with us. We have never hurt you and actively offer aid to your sorry ass. You start that fight, we will be fully justified in raining all holy hell down on your asses, and I for one will feel no sympathy for anyone but the civilians that your own goddamn posturing killed.

/Seriously, where the f**k does this 'KILL AMERICA!!!111!' thing come from? The one nation on farking Earth we've never actually farked with, and that's the one pretending we're 'sworn enemies'?


What do you mean? We fought a war there from 1950 - 1953. Remember MASH, the TV show? Alan Alda? Radar? HotLips Houlihan?

...I'm twenty, the most I know about MASH is that it was an old fart's idea of comedy. Are you farking kidding?

*googles*

Oh, that explains it, we never actually declared war on them...FFS, how did this not make history textbooks? This actually explains quite a lot.

/Goddamnit, can we start funding and researching education already?


Ouch. Just ouch.
 
2013-01-24 05:43:33 PM

Bomb Head Mohammed: imthefonze: Lol. Hey we are safe, the u.n. Sent them an angry letter. Also, im willing to give up san fransisco for us to finally go scorched earth policy on them.

Since 1945, the UN has been credited with negotiating 172 peaceful settlements that have ended regional conflicts. But, you know, keep derping.


Negotiating while the U.S. sits in the corner tapping its very large stick in reminder of who runs the show.
 
2013-01-24 05:49:44 PM

Mock26: ReverendJynxed: So, this is a declaration of war yes?

They specifically mentioned the US and provoking the US with military acts.

Perhaps if we don't take them seriously as a nation declaring war, we can treat them as pirates and pick em off every time they stick their heads out of their holes?

If I remember correctly, we are still at war with North Korea. We never signed a peace treaty with them.


Then they are calling for the end of the cease fire. For all intent and purpose, if you aren't flinging projectiles at each other or killing an enemy's soldiers, it isn't war.

Sure we can be pedantic but that just avoids the question and point being made.
 
2013-01-24 06:13:51 PM

PsiChick: SirEattonHogg: PsiChick

2013-01-24 02:20:15 PM
You know, go ahead, N Korea. Start a fight with us. We have never hurt you and actively offer aid to your sorry ass. You start that fight, we will be fully justified in raining all holy hell down on your asses, and I for one will feel no sympathy for anyone but the civilians that your own goddamn posturing killed.

/Seriously, where the f**k does this 'KILL AMERICA!!!111!' thing come from? The one nation on farking Earth we've never actually farked with, and that's the one pretending we're 'sworn enemies'?


What do you mean? We fought a war there from 1950 - 1953. Remember MASH, the TV show? Alan Alda? Radar? HotLips Houlihan?

...I'm twenty, the most I know about MASH is that it was an old fart's idea of comedy. Are you farking kidding?

*googles*

Oh, that explains it, we never actually declared war on them...FFS, how did this not make history textbooks? This actually explains quite a lot.

/Goddamnit, can we start funding and researching education already?


*blink* Posts like this make me weep for the future...

/And, goddammit, watch M*A*S*H sometime!
//It's not just for "old farts", nor is it simple "comedy"...
 
2013-01-24 06:29:56 PM

buckler: Feral_and_Preposterous: I think we should just develop a long range hot-dog gun. Shoot a bunch of hot-dogs and burritos and packets of Charmin over there and let people (and especially their troops) develop a taste for something other than sawdust and shoe leather and get used to wiping their asses with some soft, plush TP. Maybe the problem will correct itself.

A friend of mine used to be stationed at the Berlin Wall, and he said the soldiers on each side would throw gifts to each other all the time; the East Germans would throw over bottles of vodka, and the Americans would throw over cartons of Marlboros. My buddy said that if TSHTF, they'd most likely meet in the middle and shake hands.


Nice. It's like Christmas on the Western front.
 
2013-01-24 06:31:26 PM

PsiChick: You know, go ahead, N Korea. Start a fight with us.  We have never hurt you and actively offer aid to your sorry ass. You start that fight, we will be  fully justified in raining all holy hell down on your asses, and I for one will feel no sympathy for anyone but the civilians that your own goddamn posturing killed.

/Seriously, where the f**k does this 'KILL AMERICA!!!111!' thing come from? The one nation on farking Earth we've never actually farked with, and  that's the one pretending we're 'sworn enemies'?
//I mean, yes, we don't let them have nukes, but that's fairly typical international douchebaggery, not a sign of actual enmity (and partly a 'holy fark no, you lunatics don't get grown-up toys, you're farking insane').


Wat?
 
2013-01-24 07:04:33 PM

ontariolightning: MaliFinn: You really don't want to do that. We're all peaceful and humane and shiat, but if you attack us we will evaporate your entire country 500 feet deep.

US can't do shiat to NK because of the proximity to South Korea and Seoul.


South Korea would be more than happy for us to bomb the shiat out of them again.

And we wouldn't need nukes, if that's what you were thinking.
 
2013-01-24 07:13:47 PM

Clemkadidlefark: Any other Administration, I'd say North Korea is in for some urban renewal if they try that shiat, but with Obama?

He hates America and is probably coordinating the attack for greatest efficiency in killing the most Americans that can be accomplished.


I heard he eats white babies and wipes his ass with American flags...I heard that he harvesting the organs of war veterans and selling them to George Soros to be used in satanic incantations that they perform at the opening of "green" pork barrel projects ran by marriage hating queers.
 
2013-01-24 08:02:58 PM

ficklefkrfark: Clemkadidlefark: Any other Administration, I'd say North Korea is in for some urban renewal if they try that shiat, but with Obama?

He hates America and is probably coordinating the attack for greatest efficiency in killing the most Americans that can be accomplished.

I heard he eats white babies and wipes his ass with American flags...I heard that he is harvesting the organs of war veterans and selling them to George Soros to be used in satanic incantations that they perform at the opening of "green" pork barrel projects run by marriage hating queers.


Don't forget sawing Florida off the American coastline and... wait, I gotta find my script...

...let's see, saws the coastline a la Bugs Bunny, got that. Oh, and they have to use hand saws and Dremels so that a lot of people get work but it's boring and not job-creating. I almost forgot that part....

...oh! And he's hijacking crates of Hennessy VSOP heading to liquor stores in Koreatown and shipping them directly to KJU using Psy's private plane (also stolen) just to anger the Southland's expat community.

/couldn't remember how to spell Hennessy, so I wound up at their web site
//I'm glad to see Futura is getting work!
 
2013-01-25 03:11:09 AM

PsiChick: SirEattonHogg: PsiChick

2013-01-24 02:20:15 PM
You know, go ahead, N Korea. Start a fight with us. We have never hurt you and actively offer aid to your sorry ass. You start that fight, we will be fully justified in raining all holy hell down on your asses, and I for one will feel no sympathy for anyone but the civilians that your own goddamn posturing killed.

/Seriously, where the f**k does this 'KILL AMERICA!!!111!' thing come from? The one nation on farking Earth we've never actually farked with, and that's the one pretending we're 'sworn enemies'?


What do you mean? We fought a war there from 1950 - 1953. Remember MASH, the TV show? Alan Alda? Radar? HotLips Houlihan?

...I'm twenty, the most I know about MASH is that it was an old fart's idea of comedy. Are you farking kidding?

*googles*

Oh, that explains it, we never actually declared war on them...FFS, how did this not make history textbooks? This actually explains quite a lot.

/Goddamnit, can we start funding and researching education already?


I hope you're pretty.

/I keed
 
2013-01-26 02:49:48 PM

PsiChick: SirEattonHogg: PsiChick

2013-01-24 02:20:15 PM
You know, go ahead, N Korea. Start a fight with us. We have never hurt you and actively offer aid to your sorry ass. You start that fight, we will be fully justified in raining all holy hell down on your asses, and I for one will feel no sympathy for anyone but the civilians that your own goddamn posturing killed.

/Seriously, where the f**k does this 'KILL AMERICA!!!111!' thing come from? The one nation on farking Earth we've never actually farked with, and that's the one pretending we're 'sworn enemies'?


What do you mean? We fought a war there from 1950 - 1953. Remember MASH, the TV show? Alan Alda? Radar? HotLips Houlihan?

...I'm twenty, the most I know about MASH is that it was an old fart's idea of comedy. Are you farking kidding?

*googles*

Oh, that explains it, we never actually declared war on them...FFS, how did this not make history textbooks? This actually explains quite a lot.

/Goddamnit, can we start funding and researching education already?


You're either Epic Trolling, or you just pulled off an Epic Fail.

You'd never heard of the Korean War? 1950-1953. 35,000 American KIA, 8,000 American MIA, the only time in the entire Cold War that US forces openly fought Soviet and Chinese troops on the battlefield in open warfare.

Yeah, it wasn't a declared war, neither was Vietnam, and the Gulf War, or the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars,

Again, not sure if Epic Trolling or Epic Fail.

The idea that MASH is just "old farts idea of comedy" makes me think it's trolling though.
If it's Epic Fail. . .Damn, our schools need better History classes.
 
2013-01-26 03:09:29 PM

Silverstaff: You're either Epic Trolling, or you just pulled off an Epic Fail.

You'd never heard of the Korean War? 1950-1953. 35,000 American KIA, 8,000 American MIA, the only time in the entire Cold War that US forces openly fought Soviet and Chinese troops on the battlefield in open warfare.

Yeah, it wasn't a declared war, neither was Vietnam, and the Gulf War, or the Iraq and Afghanistan Wars,

Again, not sure if Epic Trolling or Epic Fail.

The idea that MASH is just "old farts idea of comedy" makes me think it's trolling though.
If it's Epic Fail. . .Damn, our schools need better History classes.


No, the Korean War is not covered in most history textbooks. Vietnam is barely covered, and the Gulf War isn't mentioned, nor are our previous attempts to fark around in the ME. My HS was pretty good, but American schools are ranked ridiculously low in the world for a reason. Most of the history class got spent on telling us how awful the World Wars were. Which is a good subject, just it's a touch confusing when people start talking about Bush like he's going  back to Iraq and you wonder just WTF happened there.

/As far as 'old farts idea of comedy', I'm an English major. I can tell you exactly why complaining about the Clone Wars Saga is stupid and point to 'classic' TV shows that prove why.
//I'm really boring to watch TV with if I don't like the show. :p
 
2013-01-26 10:49:58 PM

PsiChick: No, the Korean War is not covered in most history textbooks. Vietnam is barely covered, and the Gulf War isn't mentioned, nor are our previous attempts to fark around in the ME. My HS was pretty good, but American schools are ranked ridiculously low in the world for a reason. Most of the history class got spent on telling us how awful the World Wars were. Which is a good subject, just it's a touch confusing when people start talking about Bush like he's going back to Iraq and you wonder just WTF happened there.

/As far as 'old farts idea of comedy', I'm an English major. I can tell you exactly why complaining about the Clone Wars Saga is stupid and point to 'classic' TV shows that prove why.
//I'm really boring to watch TV with if I don't like the show. :p



Okay, you've got the Internet, access to the sum of human knowledge. Use it to better your education. There is a LOT about world history and US history you never were told. (Let me dust off my History and Political Science degrees here)

The countries that don't like us very much tend to have VERY good reasons for doing so.

North Korea: The Korean War, three year long war where we killed several hundred thousand of their soldiers, and only direct military intervention by the Soviet Union and communist China prevented their total defeat. . .and we discussed nuking them outright to end the war (but decided not to). The US ongoing massive military presence in South Korea is one of the big reasons why North Korea can't conquer South Korea. Yeah, they are going to be pissed at us.

Iran: In 1953 the US (in cooperation with the United Kingdom) orchestrated a coup de etat in Iran to oust Prime Minister Mohammed Mossadegh from power. We overthrew the democratically elected government of Iran to turn the token Constitutional Monarch of Shah Reza Pahlavi into an authoritarian dictator. Why? Because the democratically elected government thought we were ripping them off in oil transactions (we were) and was planning to nationalize the oil wells and kick out western oil companies. So, to protect our oil interests, we overthrew their government and installed a dictatorship. The big Iranian Revolution of 1979 (which you also might not have heard) was them overthrowing the hated dictator we put in place there. Yeah, the Islamic Theocracy that replaced it wasn't much better, if any better, but it actually was a secular, democratic state about 60 years ago, until we farked that up. So, yeah, Iran has reason to be pissed at us.

For key events in world history (with an emphasis on the US and effects on the US) after World War II but before 9/11, some subjects to Google (in roughly chronological order):

The Cold War
The Berlin Airlift
The Korean War
Mossadegh Affair
Suez Crisis
The Bay of Pigs
Gulf of Tonkin Incident
Kennedy Assassination
Vietnam War
Six Day War
The Killing Fields
Ping Pong Diplomacy
Watergate
Yom Kippur War
Soviet Detente
Iranian Revolution
Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan
Falkland Islands War
Grenada Invasion
Iran-Iraq War
Operation Just Cause
Fall of the Berlin Wall
Operation Desert Storm
The Yugoslav Wars

As for MASH, it was far more than a typical sitcom. There is a reason why 40 years later it's so fondly remembered.

From an artistic standpoint, it marked a real transition in US television as it became a show that was far more than a simple comedy (but it was quite good when it went for raw comedy). It quickly became a comedy-drama series that in some cases was much more about the drama. In the 1970's, MASH used the setting of the Korean War as an allegory to help the US deal with social and emotional issues related to Vietnam. Also, it dealt with a lot of issues that were quite controversial in the day (a young soldier accidentally reveals he's gay, and an overzealous officer is trying to get him dishonorably discharged, a racist commanding officer is sending black troops on suicide missions to get rid of them).

If you think of it as just a stupid sitcom, you'll miss out on something that has a lot of depth of character and genuine drama (and the first show in US TV to really blend the two), while also being a remarkably funny show.
 
2013-01-27 01:02:10 AM

Silverstaff: PsiChick: No, the Korean War is not covered in most history textbooks. Vietnam is barely covered, and the Gulf War isn't mentioned, nor are our previous attempts to fark around in the ME. My HS was pretty good, but American schools are ranked ridiculously low in the world for a reason. Most of the history class got spent on telling us how awful the World Wars were. Which is a good subject, just it's a touch confusing when people start talking about Bush like he's going back to Iraq and you wonder just WTF happened there.

/As far as 'old farts idea of comedy', I'm an English major. I can tell you exactly why complaining about the Clone Wars Saga is stupid and point to 'classic' TV shows that prove why.
//I'm really boring to watch TV with if I don't like the show. :p


Okay, you've got the Internet, access to the sum of human knowledge. Use it to better your education. There is a LOT about world history and US history you never were told. (Let me dust off my History and Political Science degrees here)

The countries that don't like us very much tend to have VERY good reasons for doing so.

North Korea: The Korean War, three year long war where we killed several hundred thousand of their soldiers, and only direct military intervention by the Soviet Union and communist China prevented their total defeat. . .and we discussed nuking them outright to end the war (but decided not to). The US ongoing massive military presence in South Korea is one of the big reasons why North Korea can't conquer South Korea. Yeah, they are going to be pissed at us.

Iran: In 1953 the US (in cooperation with the United Kingdom) orchestrated a coup de etat in Iran to oust Prime Minister Mohammed Mossadegh from power. We overthrew the democratically elected government of Iran to turn the token Constitutional Monarch of Shah Reza Pahlavi into an authoritarian dictator. Why? Because the democratically elected government thought we were ripping them off in oil transactions (we were) and ...


Oooh, that's fascinating, thanks. I've been trying to supplement my history education with Google, it's just difficult to find terms. This is really helpful. :)
 
2013-01-27 04:07:58 AM

Silverstaff: The countries that don't like us very much tend to have VERY good reasons for doing so.

North Korea: The Korean War, three year long war where we killed several hundred thousand of their soldiers, and only direct military intervention by the Soviet Union and communist China prevented their total defeat. . .and we discussed nuking them outright to end the war (but decided not to). The US ongoing massive military presence in South Korea is one of the big reasons why North Korea can't conquer South Korea. Yeah, they are going to be pissed at us.


We killed their soldiers while they were trying to invade South Korea, occupying cities and executing every educated person they could find as a "security threat". We weren't the aggressors in that war, nor were the people we were defending. They should be pissed at their leaders, not the friends of the people they attempted to conquer.
 
2013-01-27 06:48:46 AM

Dokushin: We killed their soldiers while they were trying to invade South Korea, occupying cities and executing every educated person they could find as a "security threat". We weren't the aggressors in that war, nor were the people we were defending. They should be pissed at their leaders, not the friends of the people they attempted to conquer.


I know. I never said we were the aggressors.

However, the average people of Best Korea know only what Dear Leader/Dear Successor/Dear Donut Depository tell them, and the official story is that the US is the evil empire ect.

The fact that the US is really the only thing keeping Best Korea from restarting the Korean War and probably winning (or at least making it a very bloody fight) is reason for them to be pissed. Yeah, we aren't the aggressors, but that doesn't mean they'll like us.

The whole point of this was that PsiChick didn't know why NK hates the US, because of the lackluster and shamefully inadequate coverage of post World War II history in US public schools. They have a reason to hate us, it might be that we thwarted their plan for conquest of the Korean peninsula, but it's a reason.

To them, we are their single greatest nemesis, that which keeps blocking them from their dreams of conquest and domination. To us they are just another adversary on our list of local bad guys to keep in check.
 
2013-01-27 07:02:29 AM

Silverstaff: The Cold War
The Berlin Airlift
The Korean War
Mossadegh Affair
Suez Crisis
The Bay of Pigs
Gulf of Tonkin Incident
Kennedy Assassination
Vietnam War
Six Day War
The Killing Fields
Ping Pong Diplomacy
Watergate
Yom Kippur War
Soviet Detente
Iranian Revolution
Soviet Invasion of Afghanistan
Falkland Islands War
Grenada Invasion
Iran-Iraq War
Operation Just Cause
Fall of the Berlin Wall
Operation Desert Storm
The Yugoslav Wars


I can't take it anymore!

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-27 07:27:36 AM
PsiChick

Bonus history lesson: Why Al-Qaeda and Osama Bin Ladin hates/hated us. (Free hint, it isn't because "They hate our Freedom" was was the standard chant after 9/11)

In 1979, a communist insurgency in Afghanistan overthrew the democratically elected government. To prevent the significant anti-communist forces from regaining control, the Afghani Communists signed a treaty with the Soviet Union and invited the USSR to come and help spread communism to Afghanistan.

The Soviets invaded and occupied Afghanistan immediately, to turn it into another Soviet-bloc puppet state. The rest of the world was not exactly happy about this. The US began to funnel resources and money to the Mujahedin, the anti-communist forces. (This was also part of the plot of Rambo III, where Rambo goes to help the Afghanis fight the communists).

The Islamic world was also VERY pissed about this. Afghanistan was a secular, democratic state, but it was overwhelmingly Islamic in population and the USSR was unabashedly atheist and had since its inception a goal of the eradication of religion worldwide. So, Muslims around the world went to Afghanistan to fight the Soviets, as a jihad.

Osama Bin Ladin was one of these. The son of a wealthy Saudi family, he put his substantial personal wealth into backing anti-communist Mujahedin. The war raged on for a decade, eventually ending in Soviet withdrawal in 1989, right as the Cold War was ending. The USSR began dissolution and was eventually completely disbanded on Christmas Day, 1991.

Osama Bin Ladin saw this as a sign from Allah: He fought a superpower and won. He took on one of the two most powerful nations on Earth and in his mind, forced it to complete collapse (he basically attributed the entire collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War to his actions in Afghanistan). Needless to say, this did wonders for his ego.

Right after the Soviet withdrawal, Saddam Hussein does the dumbest thing he ever did. Iraq invaded Kuwait, claiming that Kuwait was rightfully a part of Iraq and should never have been independent. In 1990 they blatantly stage a massive complete invasion and occupation of Kuwait. Iraq, fresh out of the Iran-Iraq war of the 1980's, had (on paper) the fourth largest army in the world. It didn't help that Kuwait had basically loaned Iraq all the money to fight that war and build that huge army and was now calling those debts due, by invading them they could essentially wipe out the debts.

The Kuwaiti Royal Family flees to Saudi Arabia, and begins to coordinate the efforts to retake their country in concert with the Saudi Royalty.

Osama Bin Ladin goes to the Saudi Royal Family and offers his skills as a leader of jihad. He offers to put together a Kuwaiti Mujahedin, to gather Muslims from around the world, train them, and take them to Kuwait to fight the Iraqis and drive them out.

The Saudis see that is impractical, time consuming, and of questionable military value. Instead, the Saudis go to the United Nations, get a Security Council resolution condemning the invasion and a massive (US-lead) international coalition is assembled in Saudi Arabia to prepare to retake Kuwait.

This enraged Bin Ladin beyond belief. Traditional Islamic thought is that the Arabian penninsula is for Muslims only. The presence of US (and other Christian & non-Islamic) forces in Arabia was intolerable. The fact that the actual ground war, once began, resulted in total defeat of Iraqi forces (supposedly the 4th strongest army in the world at the time) within 100 hours totally vindicated the Saudi royal family in their choice to turn to the US for professional military aid, instead of Bin Ladin and his plan to raise a Mujahedin army.

Bin Ladin held a grudge. He figured he'd taken down one superpower, now he'd go after the other. The standing US presence in the Arabian peninsula after the war was cassus belli in his eyes for a Jihad.

With high-sounding rhetoric about restoring the glory of the Islamic Caliphate (i.e. the middle-east wide Islamic Empire that ruled under various names from the time of Mohammed in the mid 600's until the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire in 1923), he appealed to fundamentalist Muslims who hated all things western, to those enthralled with the history of when Islamic Empires were major world powers, to those who saw foreign infidel forces on their holy ground as sacrilege, and talked of building a worldwide new empire.

Al Qaeda is typically translated as "The Base", but it can also be translated as "The Foundation". There is some evidence that Osama Bin Laden actually was a fan of Asimov's Foundation & Empire novels, and basically tried to make Al Qaeda an Islamic version of The Foundation, to build a new Islamic Empire after the collapse of civilization (which they would bring on).

Stripped of his Saudi citizenship by a Saudi government that considered him an embarrasment and a criminal, he fled to Afghanistan, which saw him as something of a hero for his efforts in chasing the Soviet threat. In the power vacuum after the Soviets left, armed bands of fundamentalist Madrassa students took over in the government. ("Taliban" actually means "Students"). More secularly inclined factions resisted Taliban rule and Afghanistan descended into a long civil war throughout the 1990's as small anti-Taliban factions resisted. The US basically stayed out of this, we didn't want to get involved in Afghanistan like the Soviets did.

The Taliban government sheltered him and let him run his operations from there, but the Taliban and Al-Qaeda were always separate organizations that didn't overlap. Al-Qaeda is international terrorism with the stated goal of creating a new worldwide Islamic Caliphate. The Taliban is the militant extremist Islamic faction that wants to govern Afghanistan.

Bin Laden was a wanted criminal in the US long before 9/11, for being the known mastermind of numerous terrorist attacks on US forces in the middle east, including a massive truck bomb attack on US barracks in Saudi Arabia (look up the Khobar Towers), and a bombing/ramming attack on the USS Cole. Thing was, he was just attacking troops overseas, the US media would talk about the attacks, but it would just be another news story, just another item.

Until 9/11, it was just seen by the US as business as usual, the terrorist attacks were only on our troops overseas. 9/11 was the game changer not because it was the first time they attacked us, far from it, it was the first time they attacked US civilians on US soil. He hoped that it would demoralize the US, and draw them into a long, protracted war where he would win through attrition and drive the US to complete and total collapse like he did the Soviets, and without the mighty US in his way, his dream of a new Islamic world government would be possible.
 
2013-01-27 02:01:12 PM

Silverstaff: PsiChick

Bonus history lesson: Why Al-Qaeda and Osama Bin Ladin hates/hated us. (Free hint, it isn't because "They hate our Freedom" was was the standard chant after 9/11)

In 1979, a communist insurgency in Afghanistan overthrew the democratically elected government. To prevent the significant anti-communist forces from regaining control, the Afghani Communists signed a treaty with the Soviet Union and invited the USSR to come and help spread communism to Afghanistan.

The Soviets invaded and occupied Afghanistan immediately, to turn it into another Soviet-bloc puppet state. The rest of the world was not exactly happy about this. The US began to funnel resources and money to the Mujahedin, the anti-communist forces. (This was also part of the plot of Rambo III, where Rambo goes to help the Afghanis fight the communists).

The Islamic world was also VERY pissed about this. Afghanistan was a secular, democratic state, but it was overwhelmingly Islamic in population and the USSR was unabashedly atheist and had since its inception a goal of the eradication of religion worldwide. So, Muslims around the world went to Afghanistan to fight the Soviets, as a jihad.

Osama Bin Ladin was one of these. The son of a wealthy Saudi family, he put his substantial personal wealth into backing anti-communist Mujahedin. The war raged on for a decade, eventually ending in Soviet withdrawal in 1989, right as the Cold War was ending. The USSR began dissolution and was eventually completely disbanded on Christmas Day, 1991.

Osama Bin Ladin saw this as a sign from Allah: He fought a superpower and won. He took on one of the two most powerful nations on Earth and in his mind, forced it to complete collapse (he basically attributed the entire collapse of the Soviet Union and the end of the Cold War to his actions in Afghanistan). Needless to say, this did wonders for his ego.

Right after the Soviet withdrawal, Saddam Hussein does the dumbest thing he ever did. Iraq invaded ...


Hunh. I always figured OBL was a schizo, but this form of crazy explains how he was able to put together 9/11 (coherency is not typical for schizos). Thanks! :)
 
2013-01-27 05:55:53 PM

Silverstaff: Dokushin: We killed their soldiers while they were trying to invade South Korea, occupying cities and executing every educated person they could find as a "security threat". We weren't the aggressors in that war, nor were the people we were defending. They should be pissed at their leaders, not the friends of the people they attempted to conquer.

I know. I never said we were the aggressors.

However, the average people of Best Korea know only what Dear Leader/Dear Successor/Dear Donut Depository tell them, and the official story is that the US is the evil empire ect.

The fact that the US is really the only thing keeping Best Korea from restarting the Korean War and probably winning (or at least making it a very bloody fight) is reason for them to be pissed. Yeah, we aren't the aggressors, but that doesn't mean they'll like us.

The whole point of this was that PsiChick didn't know why NK hates the US, because of the lackluster and shamefully inadequate coverage of post World War II history in US public schools. They have a reason to hate us, it might be that we thwarted their plan for conquest of the Korean peninsula, but it's a reason.

To them, we are their single greatest nemesis, that which keeps blocking them from their dreams of conquest and domination. To us they are just another adversary on our list of local bad guys to keep in check.


Right on. You know better than I do, it sounds like -- your posts are fascinating; newsletter, etc. Sorry if I sounded defensive. :D
 
Displayed 236 of 236 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report