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(Daily Mail)   So much for the star power of appearing in the Star Wars prequels. Anakin Skywalker was last seen growing a ridiculous molester beard and frequenting Thai massage parlors   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 124
    More: Amusing, Star Wars, Anakin Skywalker  
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16612 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Jan 2013 at 10:34 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-24 12:19:41 AM

realmolo: Honestly, the whole story of Anakin makes no sense.

Anakin didn't turn evil for ANY good reason. He had nothing to gain from turning into Darth Vader. He wasn't concerned about personal power, or using his power to control people. He craved respect, but that was about it. Was he truly so "pissed off at the world" after his wife died that he spent the next 30 years or so killing people? That would mean he was just a pure psychopath, and was NEVER a good guy at all. Maybe that's the case. But that's not the story that Lucas told. We're supposed to believe that Vader was a good guy, got turned into a bad guy (again, how? why?), and turned into a good guy again by...refusing to kill his son.

It's just horrible. The prequels were a *horrible* idea.


I agree, it's like "I chopped off Windu's hands and watched Palpatine kill him, so I guess I'm evil." The Clone Wars are only more and more ridiculous because all it does is go on about what a hero he was before he cut all the younglings down. I wish they'd come up with a new slice of the SW timeline, one where I haven't already seen a future version of this character so I know they can't be killed in the "dramatic" battle.
 
2013-01-24 12:21:30 AM

fusillade762: Funbags: As easy mahuika: scottydoesntknow: How times have changed: He was famous for his fresh faced good looks when he starred as Anakin Skywalker

No he wasn't. He was famous for turning one of the most iconic villains in movie history into a whiny emo crybaby.

To be fair to Christensen, Lucas did that. And he'd kind of written himself into a corner in the original trilogy, since everyone always says "He's so much like his father!" whenever Luke starts whining or being annoying. You walk away with the distinct impression that Anakin was an arrogant, immature POS.

This. Its too easy to hate Hayden's terrible portrayal as pre-Darth. It doesn't acknowledge that he had literally no chance, with one of the worst directors ever who wrote some of the most stagnantly stilted dialog of all time. "I don't like sand, it gets everywhere"? Really? Give that line to DDL. Okay, not fair, DDL would drink that line's milkshake, but few other actors could make it sensible.

Hayden's first role after pre-Darth was a film called "Shattered Glass". I challenge any of you to watch it and remain of the opinion that he cannot act.

Every time he says "Milady" in those movies I cringe so hard I strain a muscle.


eatthattoast.com
 
2013-01-24 12:33:39 AM
Please, subby, the pain runs too deep.

I've spent the last decade trying to block the memory of anything Star Wars related after 1983.
 
2013-01-24 12:36:18 AM

Thanks for the Meme-ries: He's more asshole now than man.


Somewhere in Jackson, MS, there's a bar table covered in bourbon & Coke.

+1
 
2013-01-24 12:40:28 AM

Lernaeus: Please, subby, the pain runs too deep.

I've spent the last decade trying to block the memory of anything Star Wars related after 1983.


Bioware did a pretty good job with the franchise, although HK-47 isn't exactly "family-friendly", and I'd be shocked to see anything like that character in any future Star Wars film...
 
2013-01-24 12:54:39 AM
Anakin is only screwed up in Ep III because of what happened to Ashoka.
 
2013-01-24 01:04:12 AM
Matt Lanter > Hayden Christensen
 
2013-01-24 01:41:17 AM
Didn't he make some serious bank on those movies?

If I had that kind of money, you better believe I'd be rocking sweats 24/7 and getting massages daily. Only difference would be that I can grow a mean beard.

Didn't he say he was retiring after the SW movies to become an architect?
 
2013-01-24 01:46:02 AM
Good lord that article was so poorly written it could've been one of the prequels.
 
2013-01-24 01:51:01 AM
jake calls 'em give up on life pants
 
2013-01-24 02:01:50 AM

mahuika: scottydoesntknow: How times have changed: He was famous for his fresh faced good looks when he starred as Anakin Skywalker

No he wasn't. He was famous for turning one of the most iconic villains in movie history into a whiny emo crybaby.

To be fair to Christensen, Lucas did that.


And Lucas picked him because the best part of his acting was being whiny, angsty, and emo. I should know, I saw him in Higher Ground before Lucas made the announcement.

/Watched that one for Jewel Staite (yes, several years before Kaylee).
//Also had the blond chick from Criminal Minds.
///And Sully from Dr. Quinn.
///And the crippled guy from Highlander.
 
2013-01-24 02:04:59 AM

4NSpy: Didn't he make some serious bank on those movies?

If I had that kind of money, you better believe I'd be rocking sweats 24/7 and getting massages daily. Only difference would be that I can grow a mean beard.

Didn't he say he was retiring after the SW movies to become an architect?


Funny you mention that, because after he completed Life As A House he said he was going to retire to be a gay jedi.
 
2013-01-24 02:09:22 AM
Once Upon A Time showed why the Queen was bad in ONE farking episode and it was brilliant.
Lucas had millions of dollars and 6 hours. Couldn't pull it off.
 
2013-01-24 02:13:09 AM
Way too easy to hate the guy with how awful those prequels were. I'm struggling to think of one halfway decent performance from any of the stars.

Not saying he wasn't total shiat in it, just that there was a lot of shiat to go around with how bad they were.
 
2013-01-24 02:13:21 AM

Funbags: As easy mahuika: scottydoesntknow: How times have changed: He was famous for his fresh faced good looks when he starred as Anakin Skywalker

No he wasn't. He was famous for turning one of the most iconic villains in movie history into a whiny emo crybaby.

To be fair to Christensen, Lucas did that. And he'd kind of written himself into a corner in the original trilogy, since everyone always says "He's so much like his father!" whenever Luke starts whining or being annoying. You walk away with the distinct impression that Anakin was an arrogant, immature POS.

This. Its too easy to hate Hayden's terrible portrayal as pre-Darth. It doesn't acknowledge that he had literally no chance, with one of the worst directors ever who wrote some of the most stagnantly stilted dialog of all time. "I don't like sand, it gets everywhere"? Really? Give that line to DDL. Okay, not fair, DDL would drink that line's milkshake, but few other actors could make it sensible.

Hayden's first role after pre-Darth was a film called "Shattered Glass". I challenge any of you to watch it and remain of the opinion that he cannot act.


Never watched that movie, but I saw the one he did immediately before star wars, Life as a House. He pretty much played the same character in that movie as he did in Episode II and III, a whiny teenage punk with the same exact range of emotion as well.
 
2013-01-24 02:23:07 AM

Tickle Mittens: 4NSpy: Didn't he make some serious bank on those movies?

If I had that kind of money, you better believe I'd be rocking sweats 24/7 and getting massages daily. Only difference would be that I can grow a mean beard.

Didn't he say he was retiring after the SW movies to become an architect?

Funny you mention that, because after he completed Life As A House he said he was going to retire to be a gay jedi.


Can always count on the dweebs on FARK for ruining the potential of a thread:

cdn.hollywoodgrind.com
celebrity.h90.orgwww.celebrific.com

This time by ignoring the POA he was getting recently, the uber-hot Rachel Bilson.

/if getting Rachel Bilson makes you a gay Jedi...
 
2013-01-24 02:45:16 AM

peterthx: Tickle Mittens: 4NSpy: Didn't he make some serious bank on those movies?

If I had that kind of money, you better believe I'd be rocking sweats 24/7 and getting massages daily. Only difference would be that I can grow a mean beard.

Didn't he say he was retiring after the SW movies to become an architect?

Funny you mention that, because after he completed Life As A House he said he was going to retire to be a gay jedi.

Can always count on the dweebs on FARK for ruining the potential of a thread:

[cdn.hollywoodgrind.com image 480x640]
[celebrity.h90.org image 850x1416][www.celebrific.com image 800x1196]

This time by ignoring the POA he was getting recently, the uber-hot Rachel Bilson.

/if getting Rachel Bilson makes you a gay Jedi...


Wow, white knighting hayden christensen. Now THAT is gay. No one is going to fark you, not him, not her, no one. Realize it was a chance to make a Life As a House reference, and you need to settle your jimmies before you injure yourself.

As a personal question to you, do you find it perhaps a little unseemly that some persons patrol the internet hoping to stumble upon an oppotunity to correct people on the mating habits of lesser known "celebrities?"
 
2013-01-24 05:08:30 AM
Why is she wearing leg-warmers on her arms?
 
2013-01-24 05:48:17 AM
I thought it was about Jake Lloyd too.

image.wtfux.org
 
2013-01-24 07:36:00 AM

DenisBergkamp: Way too easy to hate the guy with how awful those prequels were. I'm struggling to think of one halfway decent performance from any of the stars..



Ian McDiarmid managed to overcome the terrible scripts and lousy directing and made Palpatine a good villain
 
2013-01-24 07:39:34 AM
FTFA: "For the thespian is scheduled to start shooting his Outcast in the southwestern Chinese province of Yunnan in April along with Nicolas Cage."

I can't imagine how that movie won't be awesome.
 
2013-01-24 07:39:52 AM
shiatTIEST BEARD EVER
 
2013-01-24 07:41:51 AM
"...from a certain point of view..."
 
2013-01-24 08:06:31 AM

Spaced Lion: I thought it was about Jake Lloyd too.

[image.wtfux.org image 444x337]


Yippee!
 
2013-01-24 08:22:28 AM

Snapper Carr: DenisBergkamp: Way too easy to hate the guy with how awful those prequels were. I'm struggling to think of one halfway decent performance from any of the stars..


Ian McDiarmid managed to overcome the terrible scripts and lousy directing and made Palpatine a good villain


Well, he was the only one who played a human to reprise his role from the original series. Yeps, he played Palpatine in "Return of the Jedi", when he was 39.
 
2013-01-24 08:23:03 AM

DenisBergkamp: Way too easy to hate the guy with how awful those prequels were. I'm struggling to think of one halfway decent performance from any of the stars.

Not saying he wasn't total shiat in it, just that there was a lot of shiat to go around with how bad they were.


I can recall Liam Neeson on one of the late night talk shows threatening that he was done with Hollywood, or at the very least, working on projects where he was talking to a tennis ball and not another human. Anybody else remember this? (He got over it).

Not a quote by any means, but he was one of the few actors to actually come out and say how frustrating it was for them to make the prequels. A bad director can make any actor look and sound bad.
 
2013-01-24 08:41:35 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-24 09:19:25 AM

narkor: Anakin is only screwed up in Ep III because of what happened to Ashoka.


From various webpages I seen, didn't she get gang banged by half the cast of the clone wars?
 
2013-01-24 09:29:59 AM

scottydoesntknow: How times have changed: He was famous for his fresh faced good looks when he starred as Anakin Skywalker

No he wasn't. He was famous for turning one of the most iconic villains in movie history into a whiny emo crybaby.


It doesn't matter how popular a movie was if your acting is THAT bad. He stunk up the joint.
 
2013-01-24 09:31:38 AM
Surprised no one has photoshopped him into the Hobbit movie poster yet.

Also, is this where I come to complain about how bad Shadows of the Empire was? I just got done reading it because I thought it was supposed to be good but I'm not sure why I bothered finishing it. The story was just... bad. Any recommendations on good SW books? I've read the Thrawn trilogy.

Also, it doesn't have to be about characters from the movies. One thing I hate about all SW books I've read is the constant references to the movies. [farley]You remember the time when you stuck that bone in a Rancor's mouth... that was awesome.[/farley]
 
2013-01-24 09:37:31 AM

nimawai: 12349876: It's not like the original trilogy gave the actors star power either, with the exception of Harrison Ford.

That's pretty much because of him being Indy as well.


Mark Hamill is widely considered the best Joker ever, live action or animated. He's worth a fortune. He also made a deal before anyone knew there would be SW merchandise that he gets every piece of merch. Ever. He must have the warehouse from Raiders full of shiat.
 
2013-01-24 09:43:09 AM

Funbags: Hayden's first role after pre-Darth was a film called "Shattered Glass". I challenge any of you to watch it and remain of the opinion that he cannot act.


Not only is that a good movie, but a nice inside look at how big news magazines (aren't) run. Yeah he does a fine job in it.
 
2013-01-24 09:43:24 AM
Weren't there a series of comic books that told alt-verse stories, Star Wars Infinities? With the hood and the beard these pics could be artwork reference for a story where Obi-Wan was the one who fell to the dark side, and older Anakin trains Luke and Leia himself.
 
2013-01-24 09:45:21 AM

SpectroBoy: scottydoesntknow: How times have changed: He was famous for his fresh faced good looks when he starred as Anakin Skywalker

No he wasn't. He was famous for turning one of the most iconic villains in movie history into a whiny emo crybaby.

It doesn't matter how popular a movie was if your acting is THAT bad. He stunk up the joint.


You don't know what you're talking about. Don't confuse bad acting with bad writing and direction. SW Suffered from both of the latter. By the same token, you can say Sam Jackson stunk up the place too. his schtick was just as stilted and cardboard.
 
2013-01-24 10:25:30 AM
I always feel bad for guys who grow beards like that. All patchy and scraggily and whispy. For fark sake, man. That shiat never looks good. Shave it and do yourself a favor.

Not everyone can have magnificent beards.
 
2013-01-24 11:06:05 AM

Mugato: nimawai: 12349876: It's not like the original trilogy gave the actors star power either, with the exception of Harrison Ford.

That's pretty much because of him being Indy as well.

Mark Hamill is widely considered the best Joker ever, live action or animated. He's worth a fortune. He also made a deal before anyone knew there would be SW merchandise that he gets every piece of merch. Ever. He must have the warehouse from Raiders full of shiat.


Only one? Thing about the sheer number of things that have been released since 1977 with a Star Wars logo on it.
Mark Hamill has every single one. Every single one. If the voice acting thing hadn't worked out, he could be a billionaire several times over just by ebaying that shiat.

/I wonder if he has an official copy of the Holiday Special...
 
2013-01-24 11:12:54 AM

realmolo: It's just horrible. The prequels were a *horrible* idea.


We'd all be better off if Lucas produced only, and someone else directed, and someone else wrote the screenplay for the prequels.

Hmmm ... I wonder what popular movie that was the formula for?
 
2013-01-24 12:42:31 PM
Hayden Christiansen is a perfeclty acceptable actor. What the hell was he supposed to do with that dialogue?
 
2013-01-24 12:43:01 PM
Padme is the most understanding girlfriend I've ever seen.
Anikin: I slaughtered them like animals,/crys like a child
Padme, I love you baby.
 
2013-01-24 12:43:02 PM

4NSpy: Didn't he say he was retiring after the SW movies to become an architect?


old.mobilecrunch.com

Either that, or a marine biologist.
 
2013-01-24 02:03:34 PM

Farking Canuck: He had 12+ years of direct influence by a Sith Lord. I've always assumed that it was more than just ideas planted into his head by Sidious but subtle dark side coercion. That is why, when he finally snapped, he was 100% under Sidious' control.


gingerjet: The prequels were badly written and directed. But they weren't a *horrible* idea. Lucas is best when he outlines a story and let someone else run with it. Lucas has completely mismanaged his franchise. He could of easily kicked out a dozen successful movies in the Star Wars universe if he would of just let go sooner.


Very much these two points. I thought it would have been interesting if Obi-Wan was doing his best to teach Anakin (as he told Luke in ESB), but actually Palpatine was always sabotaging Obi-Wan's lessons from the sidelines.

Would have showed that Obi-Wan actually wasn't incompetent, just outmaneuvered unexpectedly by pure evil. (And that the Jedi ideal of *no emotions* and *no attachments* are actually detriments when confronted by pure evil)
 
2013-01-24 02:35:00 PM

realmolo: Honestly, the whole story of Anakin makes no sense.

Anakin didn't turn evil for ANY good reason. He had nothing to gain from turning into Darth Vader. He wasn't concerned about personal power, or using his power to control people. He craved respect, but that was about it. Was he truly so "pissed off at the world" after his wife died that he spent the next 30 years or so killing people? That would mean he was just a pure psychopath, and was NEVER a good guy at all. Maybe that's the case. But that's not the story that Lucas told. We're supposed to believe that Vader was a good guy, got turned into a bad guy (again, how? why?), and turned into a good guy again by...refusing to kill his son.

It's just horrible. The prequels were a *horrible* idea.


Not to white knight anakin.. but youre simplifying it a lot honestly. Here we have a kid who is ripped from everything he's ever known by some douche who thinks he's the chosen one. Said douche then dies and leaves him to an order of ascetic monks who are resentful and afraid of his powers so they spend the rest of his life stripping him of anything that might make him feel emotion because theyre afraid that he may blow up on them if something goes wrong. When he learns his mother has been raped by sand people they tell him not to worry about it. when he finds someone he cares about and who actually cares about HIM and not his powers they forbid him from speaking to her. Anakins story is a systematic attempt at brain washing gone wrong. The jedi raised him to be a psycho killer and were surprised when he snapped. Padme's death wasnt the reason he snapped it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Its like locking a child of 10 in a room wih a nuclear weapon for half their life telling them they cant see the outside world because its a scary place and expecting them to not set it off at some point out of sheer frustration. the sentiment was hammed to a fault by the awful scripts but its there.
 
2013-01-24 02:38:56 PM

TheOriginalEd: Padme's death wasnt the reason he snapped


If he hadnt snapped yet when he killed all those kids...well, I need to redefine my definition of 'snapped'
 
2013-01-24 02:42:04 PM
via Dlisted:

This former almost A list all movie actor has had a hard time getting much work in the past couple of years. Did I mention he is in the closet to the public so hard that he would freak out if there was any light at all coming in? Probably one of the more famous beard relationships in Hollywood. No longer seeing his long time boyfriend, our actor now uses the services of two Thai guys when he needs umm, some stress relief. Problem is he needs to go to their massage shop to get it and one of these days someone will talk or release what must be some CCTV video.
 
2013-01-24 02:53:48 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: scottydoesntknow: No he wasn't. He was famous for turning one of the most iconic villains in movie history into a whiny emo crybaby.

"I'll try flipping at Obi-Wan! THAT'S a good trick!"


see this is what i don't get, cause it worked for Obi-Wan just a couple movies earlier

searching for the pic of Obi Wan hanging from the edge with Maul above - then Obi Wan jumps / flips from the shaft up & over Maul to then slice him in half

25.media.tumblr.com

i mean, if Obi wan can pull that off, how could all powerful Annie not make it?
 
2013-01-24 02:58:48 PM

JonZoidberg: realmolo: Honestly, the whole story of Anakin makes no sense.

Anakin didn't turn evil for ANY good reason. He had nothing to gain from turning into Darth Vader. He wasn't concerned about personal power, or using his power to control people. He craved respect, but that was about it. Was he truly so "pissed off at the world" after his wife died that he spent the next 30 years or so killing people? That would mean he was just a pure psychopath, and was NEVER a good guy at all. Maybe that's the case. But that's not the story that Lucas told. We're supposed to believe that Vader was a good guy, got turned into a bad guy (again, how? why?), and turned into a good guy again by...refusing to kill his son.

It's just horrible. The prequels were a *horrible* idea.

I agree, it's like "I chopped off Windu's hands and watched Palpatine kill him, so I guess I'm evil." The Clone Wars are only more and more ridiculous because all it does is go on about what a hero he was before he cut all the younglings down. I wish they'd come up with a new slice of the SW timeline, one where I haven't already seen a future version of this character so I know they can't be killed in the "dramatic" battle.


hard to defend some of the prequels
but i'll just say that i was compelled by the idea that Anakin was doing all this in the attempt to save his Padmae from dying in childbirth.

granted; he kind of excused the most amazingly horrible shiat in the name of his perceived good cause, but that's what he let smooth out any objections his morals may have been making.
 
2013-01-24 03:35:19 PM

TheOriginalEd: realmolo: Honestly, the whole story of Anakin makes no sense.

Anakin didn't turn evil for ANY good reason. He had nothing to gain from turning into Darth Vader. He wasn't concerned about personal power, or using his power to control people. He craved respect, but that was about it. Was he truly so "pissed off at the world" after his wife died that he spent the next 30 years or so killing people? That would mean he was just a pure psychopath, and was NEVER a good guy at all. Maybe that's the case. But that's not the story that Lucas told. We're supposed to believe that Vader was a good guy, got turned into a bad guy (again, how? why?), and turned into a good guy again by...refusing to kill his son.

It's just horrible. The prequels were a *horrible* idea.

Not to white knight anakin.. but youre simplifying it a lot honestly. Here we have a kid who is ripped from everything he's ever known by some douche who thinks he's the chosen one. Said douche then dies and leaves him to an order of ascetic monks who are resentful and afraid of his powers so they spend the rest of his life stripping him of anything that might make him feel emotion because theyre afraid that he may blow up on them if something goes wrong. When he learns his mother has been raped by sand people they tell him not to worry about it. when he finds someone he cares about and who actually cares about HIM and not his powers they forbid him from speaking to her. Anakins story is a systematic attempt at brain washing gone wrong. The jedi raised him to be a psycho killer and were surprised when he snapped. Padme's death wasnt the reason he snapped it was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Its like locking a child of 10 in a room wih a nuclear weapon for half their life telling them they cant see the outside world because its a scary place and expecting them to not set it off at some point out of sheer frustration. the sentiment was hammed to a fault by the awful scripts but its there.


Here's what will always bother me... All Jedi are good, yet they believe the prophecy that Anakin would 'bring balance to the force'. if you're all good, then his only choice to balance was to be BAD. And he did turn bad. Why was anyone shocked?
 
2013-01-24 03:44:18 PM

Mugato: nimawai: 12349876: It's not like the original trilogy gave the actors star power either, with the exception of Harrison Ford.

That's pretty much because of him being Indy as well.

Mark Hamill is widely considered the best Joker ever, live action or animated. He's worth a fortune. He also made a deal before anyone knew there would be SW merchandise that he gets every piece of merch. Ever. He must have the warehouse from Raiders full of shiat.


In the SW universe yes Hamill is a pretty big deal. Outside of it he doesn't really have much pull. Harrison Ford can open a movie purely based on him being in it.
 
2013-01-24 03:44:52 PM
Hey subby: there's a big difference between a Thai massage and a Thai massage parlor!

/yet both are wonderful
 
2013-01-24 03:53:45 PM

Tickle Mittens: Wow, white knighting hayden christensen. Now THAT is gay. No one is going to fark you, not him, not her, no one. Realize it was a chance to make a Life As a House reference, and you need to settle your jimmies before you injure yourself.

As a personal question to you, do you find it perhaps a little unseemly that some persons patrol the internet hoping to stumble upon an oppotunity to correct people on the mating habits of lesser known "celebrities?"


Wasn't white-knighting anybody dummy.
I was trying to turn a FARK fanboy-circlejerk into an excuse to post Rachel Bilson pictures.

/talk about teh ghey
 
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