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(The Big Story)   HOO-HA   (bigstory.ap.org) divider line 72
    More: Hero, Special-use permit, Leon Panetta, Land warfare, Delta Force  
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35079 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2013 at 5:32 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-23 06:13:24 PM
8 votes:
Another mass social denegration of the great republic. I am done with chivalry.

No more door-opening or deference to you, ladies. I won't call you ladies anymore, I'll call you sows or child carriers, biatches if you like. Congratulations! I won't stick up for you if I see someone physically abusing you, or outraging your modesty. You can handle it on your own.

If you outrank me, I'll now call you "Sir".

/You can thank "President" Basilisk Chumpstain 0FUK0: the Kenyan communist arugula eating Presidential usurping paperclip using birth certificate forging tax loving dijon mustard spreading gun-running college transcript cheating cigarette smoking baby killing 200 million dollar a day vacationing job regulating gun taking teleprompter reading czar appointing christmas tree taxing death panel instating wealth redistributing terrorist pal'ing inexperienced foriegn leader worshipping vacation-taking deficit spending incandescent lightbulb banning jalapeno ordering secret muslim Nazi American...

...the Communist Nazi Muslim Socialist Peacenik Elitist Dhimmicrat Man-Child Egghead Celebrity Jihadist Appeaser Usurper Dictator Manchurian-Candidate Community-Organizer Cult-Leader Empty-Suit Tyrant Bureaucrat Hypocrite Non-Citizen America-Hater Arugula-Muncher Marxist Terrorist Liberal Leftist Stalinist Welfare-Statist Narcissist Plagiarist Pottymouth Murderer Islamofascist Sleeper-Cell Ghetto-Trash Blame-America-Firster Fearmonger Racist Atheist Kenyan Keynesian Militant Flag-Burner Child-Molester Drug-Lord Gun-Grabber Gun-Runner Lightbulb-Outlawer Union-Thug Anti-Semite Media-Darling Fifth-Columnist Ponzi-Schemer Vacation-Abuser Lazy-Ass Flip-Flopper Black-Liberationist Abortionist Antichrist Coward Traitor Liar Trickster Death-Panelist Affirmative-Action-Case Evolutionist Fraudster Pothead Coke-Dealer Alinskyite Taxaholic Spendthrift Job-Killer Puppetmaster Soros-Minion Subhuman Illegal-Alien Reptoid Silver-Spoon Monarchist Teleprompter-Addict Chain-Smoker Hip-Hop-Barbecuer Stutterer Non-Tipper Binder-Clipper Pizza-Cheese-Eater Face-Blocker Havel-Snubber Malware-Propagator Greenie-Weenie State-Miscounter Mom-Jeans-Wearer Grey-Poupon-Supremacist Long-Legged Mackdaddy Socialist Marxist Arab Fascist Kenyan Muslim Blah Usurper Reptoid currently defiling the White House.
2013-01-23 06:02:47 PM
8 votes:
thirtytwothousanddays.com

"You aint got time to bleed."
2013-01-23 05:59:46 PM
7 votes:
One step closer to reality:

www.afterelton.com

Would you like to know more?
2013-01-23 05:48:00 PM
7 votes:
"There were hatchet wounds all over the battlefield."
2013-01-23 04:10:08 PM
5 votes:
Get ready for intergender global thermoemotional breakdown war.
2013-01-23 06:27:07 PM
4 votes:
Hey Vasquez you ever been mistaken for a man?

No, have you?
2013-01-23 05:34:31 PM
4 votes:
cdn.honestlywtf.com
2013-01-23 04:22:34 PM
4 votes:
Completely juvenile, sophomoric and crass.

+1
2013-01-23 04:12:57 PM
4 votes:
Slime-trench warfare is hell, I tell you!

+1 Subby, I salute you!

So, I guess all the women combat troops will keep with tradition and Go Clamando!
2013-01-23 06:30:34 PM
3 votes:
Glad I'm not the first with a Vasquez reference...but had to add:

"Hey, Vasquez...Have you ever been mistaken for a man?"

images1.wikia.nocookie.net

"No. Have you?"
2013-01-23 05:51:01 PM
3 votes:
Happy V-J Jay Day!
2013-01-23 09:16:32 PM
2 votes:
Fantasy
2.bp.blogspot.com

Reality
ww1.hdnux.com
2013-01-23 07:46:37 PM
2 votes:
Combat Rolls? It that a new type of sandwich?
2013-01-23 06:47:57 PM
2 votes:
From Her majesties royal navy,
i46.tinypic.com
Mr. Prostitue, responsible for discipline....

/not obsxure enough, but still relevant and funny
2013-01-23 06:40:49 PM
2 votes:
imageshack.us
2013-01-23 06:27:23 PM
2 votes:

shintochick: Sailors yell "HOOYAH"


No, we yell, "BARTENDER!"
m00
2013-01-23 06:19:46 PM
2 votes:

impaler: TheEdibleSnuggie: Cue feminist outrage that men and women in the military now playing equal roles in 3...2...1...

I don't think you are aware of what a feminist actually is.


A feminist is someone who believes in the myth of the male patriarchy, and advocates equal rights for women where it's convenient for women, but unequal responsibilities women when it's convenient for women.

Someone who believes that men and women, while inherently biologically different, should have equal protection under the law and women should not be barred from access to societal, political, or economic roles solely based on their gender is just a logical person.

Let me give you an example. In 2013 if there is a cruise or passenger ship that sinks and there isn't enough lifeboats, it's "women and children first." Steven Hawking (or any man, regardless of his accomplishments) would be demanded by society to give up his spot on the lifeboat for any high-school dropout drug addict woman, solely because he's a man. Society values women above men, and society expects men to protect women even if it means death. Even if the man is infinitely more accomplished than the woman, doesn't matter. Men in our society are disposable. Women must be cherished and preserved at all costs. There is a very good and obvious evolutionary reason for that, as had been necessary for the survival of our species for hundreds of thousands of years. This is why we send MEN to die for stupid wars, and not women. This is why sex-crimes and domestic abuse are only really recognized if the perpetrator is a man and the victim is a woman. Trying being a man and claiming you were date-raped by a woman who got you intoxicated, and see how far that gets you. Feminism is not interested in equality; if it were, it would be interested in treating every person as an individual who should be judged on his or her own accomplishment and by his or her own actions. But Feminism is not interested in equality, it is interested in promoting the well-being and comfort of women at the expense of men... just like society has always done. Feminism is a backlash to the notion that men and women are to be treated equally, and instead seeks to preserve the status quo of the disposable man who shuts up and gladly lays down his life so that women may be comfortable. Thus, Feminism and equality are fundamentally incompatible.
2013-01-23 06:03:45 PM
2 votes:
t2.gstatic.com


Women! What can you say? Who made 'em? God must have been a farkin' genius. The hair... They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls... just wanted to go to sleep forever? Or lips... and when they touched, yours were like... that first swallow of wine... after you just crossed the desert. Tits. Hoo-ah! Big ones, little ones, nipples staring right out at ya, like secret searchlights. Mmm. Legs. I don't care if they're Greek columns... or secondhand Steinways. What's between 'em... passport to heaven. I need a drink. Yes, Mr Sims, there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy. Hah! Are you listenin' to me, son? I'm givin' ya pearls here.
2013-01-23 06:01:12 PM
2 votes:
dreamdogsart.typepad.com

"And some rights for you..."
2013-01-23 05:58:07 PM
2 votes:
As long as they can eat 3 pizzas I say let 'em fight.

farm2.staticflickr.com
2013-01-23 05:53:49 PM
2 votes:
Women should make combat rolls and sell them to support the soldiers.
2013-01-23 05:48:29 PM
2 votes:
Your number's up, babies:

rlv.zcache.com
2013-01-23 05:46:59 PM
2 votes:

Smeggy Smurf: The first time some gash has to face some goat rapist in hand to hand she's going to either tear his farking head off or get herself raped. I'm betting on raped.


"Nobody rapes goats and people, you idiot. You either rape goats OR you rape people. Thats it. There's no in-between."
2013-01-23 05:46:42 PM
2 votes:
shoeblogs.com

You say Ukraine is weak?
2013-01-23 05:42:08 PM
2 votes:

IamAwake: about damn time. Another 500 years or so, we might have started looking egalitarian in all respects other than socio-economic class...were it not for the fact we won't make it another 50 due to the socio-economic imbalance globally :P


Does that mean we get the Starship Troopers combined showers?
2013-01-23 04:58:31 PM
2 votes:
Make 'em shave their heads too!
2013-01-23 04:35:27 PM
2 votes:
This is the one that needs to go green & also needs to be in the HOTY finals.

Spectacular job subby
2013-01-23 04:21:03 PM
2 votes:
I'm thinking Arby's
2013-01-23 04:03:51 PM
2 votes:
OK I totally posted earlier than this and some funny headlines, but this....SUBBY. Funny....you're good you.....you're very GOOD.
HOTY material.
2013-01-24 09:45:17 AM
1 votes:

shotglasss: Will the lezbos get their own division?


marine corps
2013-01-24 12:34:59 AM
1 votes:
ts1.mm.bing.net

Lyudmila Pavlichenko is not impressed by you capitalist slow-pokes.
2013-01-24 12:21:03 AM
1 votes:

doyner: Jegred2: extreme leftists

Bless your heart.


But he's not a Nazi. He took an online test that said so.
m00
2013-01-23 11:59:05 PM
1 votes:

Theaetetus: Shame it's false. Or rather, his "reason" is false. It wasn't "simply because they had no place to pee" but because they couldn't go someplace private and not get raped:
Professor Helen Benedict of the Graduate School of Journalism at Columbia University is an author of two books on sexual assault and sex crimes. She has spent months interviewing more than 20 women veterans of the Iraq war for up to 10 hours each in preparation for a new book about them.
According to Benedict, sexual harassment is almost unilateral throughout the military and it is something very few men in the military have to endure. Sexual assault and rape is a real and ever present danger from their own comrades, male comrades. This is a well known fact amongst the military in Iraq. All the women Benedict spoke to told her that their officers in Iraq routinely warned them they should never go to the latrine or showers without another woman for protection.

...Colonel Janis Karpinski has been an outspoken critic of how female soldiers are treated in Iraq. Last year she testified at the Bush Crimes Commission Hearings, a mock trial. Below is an excerpt from her testimony:
"Because the women, in fear of getting up in the hours of darkness to go out to the portatoilets or the latrines, were not drinking liquids after 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon. And in 120-degree heat or warmer, because there was no air conditioning at most of the facilities, they were dying from dehydration in their sleep. And rather than make everybody aware of that, because that's shocking -- and as a leader, if that's not shocking to you, then you're not much of a leader -- so what they told the surgeon to do was, "Don't brief those details anymore. And don't say specifically that they're women. You can provide that in a written report, but don't brief it in the open anymore.""
According to Professor Benedict, Karpinski had told her there were male soldiers lying in wait out there for the women soldiers. They would pull ...


This issue will sort itself out. We have gays in the military now, and they'll just lie in wait to rape the male soldiers who go out alone at night to lie in wait for the women to go to the latrine.
2013-01-23 11:37:47 PM
1 votes:

rickycal78: Wasn't a whole lot of rape necessary


Do let us know when it is necessary.
2013-01-23 11:28:49 PM
1 votes:

doyner: USP .45: As long as they don't reduce the physical standards for infantry, this is mostly a non-issue.

However, since the libs always like to guilt trip America into what he rest of the western nations are doing, can we list which countries allow woman in infantry positions?

I know Canada doesn't.

Sooooo, it's ok to look to other countries for leadership now?  Whatever happened to American exceptionalism?


It was neutered, and we're all better off for it.
2013-01-23 10:52:07 PM
1 votes:
Hey, why has no one suggested this for HOTY?

Well Subby, +1 from me anyway. Hell, that deserves a Chicago vote: +2.
IP
2013-01-23 10:48:11 PM
1 votes:

DrZiffle: Came into thread for pics of female Israeli soldiers.

/left crestfallen


I know right???

/was in the Israeli military, banged many
//prove me wrong
///see what I did there?
2013-01-23 10:18:48 PM
1 votes:

Jegred2: extreme leftists


Bless your heart.
2013-01-23 10:17:18 PM
1 votes:

phrawgh: These are minimum Army PT test standards for male and female soldiers in the Army.

MALE STANDARDS:
Age Push-Ups Min Sit-Ups Min Two Mile Run Min
17-21 42 53 15:54
22-26 40 50 16:36

FEMALE STANDARDS:
Age Push-Ups Min Sit-Ups Min Two Mile Run Min
17-21 19 53 18:54
22-26 17 50 19:36

Equality. How the fark does it work?


Are you also suggesting that the maximum weight limit for men be reduced to the one for women?

Hypocrisy. How the fark does it work?
2013-01-23 10:03:04 PM
1 votes:

Jegred2: Great, now the army can spend millions training women so that most of them can fail out. Definitely should have a pre-test for women so that money doesn't go down the tube. And before you liberal feelgood farkers come running, stfu, women are built differently than men, most of them aren't up to snuff for infantry work. Not to mention how many men will die because a women can't drag their 200lb + 100lb of gear body. That's also not counting the pregnancies that will happen. For all of you non-military farkers out there, you don't get a replacement for a pregnant member of your team. You just have to run a man down because that slot is filled. Only amazons on birth control will work out, and its not even worth it for the amount of hacks the army will have to wade through to get them.


Waahhhhhh!!!

I can just taste the delicious con tears. Cry for us, Rethuglican baby!
2013-01-23 09:25:55 PM
1 votes:

Moquary: "Reality" photo looks like a family day exercise where they let the families of a service member get all cammied up and go out in the field to have fun and "see" what their loved one does for a living.


Either your theory is spot on, or we're also conscripting child soldiers along with middle-aged white women.
2013-01-23 08:18:11 PM
1 votes:
It's about damn time! All this time, I've been arguing that allowing gays to shower and bunk with the gender that they prefer, but denying the same right to heterosexuals is clearly discriminatory, on the basis of sexual orientation. If Caesar is free to ogle Steve, why should Francine enjoy a different level of privacy from Steve's eyes? Now the military can truly say they don't discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

Thanks, Obama!
2013-01-23 08:08:33 PM
1 votes:
Once again, woman are a generation behind in their struggle to join the ranks of power brokerage.

Saying women are different than men isn't the same as "separate but equal" Jim Crow laws. Feminists don't seem to realize this, and believe that doing terrible jobs in harms way will earn them respect, when in fact it accomplishes the opposite.
2013-01-23 07:59:21 PM
1 votes:
I wonder if the leftist hippie losers will actually spit on women returning from service now.
2013-01-23 07:50:23 PM
1 votes:
This thread has a severe lack of combat chicks in it.

Hell, not even a single IDF girl!

What's happened to you, Fark? You've changed.
2013-01-23 07:47:57 PM
1 votes:
www.rottenecards.com

ritarussell.files.wordpress.com
2013-01-23 07:40:56 PM
1 votes:
Ok, I definitely thought this thread was going somewhere else when I clicked it. But, the man is a fan anyway, so it works.

i48.tinypic.com
2013-01-23 07:37:29 PM
1 votes:
we're way behind. i've been reading about other countries using 12 yr olds as killing machines for years. what is Washington afraid of?
2013-01-23 06:58:25 PM
1 votes:
I don't expect to change anybody's mind but I will throw it in...

In my experience, women in the military were an abject failure across the board. By and large, besides maybe one or two women I had the occasion to run across, virtually none performed at the same standard as men, nor did they attempt to. This could be the result of American cultural reasons, but there are surely biological factors as well.

Virtually none of the women I saw attempted to perform the same labor as men in their respective units. Women did none of the prepping of vehicles or lifting heavy equipment, usually they did not attempt to. When the mission was over the men were expected to strip down the vehicles, clean all the weapons and equipment and bring them back for storage. Bar none, virtually every woman in uniform immediately gathered up their personal belongings and headed straight back to their bee huts without bothering to offer if there was anything they could help with.

Discipline was a huge factor as well. I saw many times women servicemembers talked backed to their superiors and officers or refused orders. Often when more Infantry minded types yelled them down as is expected in military bearing it was returned with a plethora of EO complaints and their own CIC had to intervene.

Their usefulness in missions was debatable. All the women were taken out on PR missions to snap photos and deliver tylenol and cough syrup to disappointing children who were hoping to get candy. Typically it resulted in them throwing rocks at our vehicles as we lined up to leave. Yet these pogue units were happy to have the occasional outside the wire photos to upload to their facebook accounts unauthorized and pretend to their family back home that they "were in the shiat".

One of the biggest problems we had operationally was that women were constantly dehydrating. The reason was simply because they had no place to pee. Now think about this when it comes to military operations and how far you are removed from the comforts of modern conveniences and think "I can do anything!". Everywhere we went always drew a crowd, we would hope to stop at the side of the road, pull security, and allow females to pop a squat between two humvee doors with another female service member holding a sheet between the doors. The uncomfortablity of the situation led many females to the obvious conclusion that it was preferable to simply reduce drinking water. In 140 degree heat with 100% humidity this led to the obvious problem of dehydration and heat exhaustion, another reason why females always ditched their crew, equipment, and vehicles and simply headed back to their home as soon as we were back inside the wire, including officers, leaving men hours of work to deprep everything.

I've actually sat in mission briefings with females who argued to command, successfully, to reduce the time a proposed mission as they couldn't be outside the wire that long without urinating.

Luckily these pogue missions were few and far between. They were typically happy to sip coffee playing video games in the JOC until FOB fever kicked in and they decided they needed fresh smiling photos to post on their facebook accounts.

In a tactical situation, allowing this type of of a problem into combat arms I can only predict an outright disaster to military operations. That said, I don't really care. I feel bad for the next generation of army grunts sold into fighting for freedom, but maybe a few mission failures will finally lead to the deconstruction of the MIC. We can scale down to a military like the French where we send a few guys to stroll through Africa every few years and feign outrage at their chosen facial attire.  Maybe that's the point of this policy.
2013-01-23 06:45:26 PM
1 votes:

Marine1: lennavan: Marine1: So, other than to pat ourselves on the back as a "progressive" society, what's the real purpose behind this?

Being slightly less sexist?

Sexist? What's sexism have to do with war?

/before people start presuming I'm a Marine in this thread, it was a name I picked while playing Halo when I was 14.
//full disclosure


I have noticed you before around teh Fark and always thought you were named after the helicopter.
2013-01-23 06:27:42 PM
1 votes:

m00: impaler: TheEdibleSnuggie: Cue feminist outrage that men and women in the military now playing equal roles in 3...2...1...

I don't think you are aware of what a feminist actually is.

A feminist is someone who believes in the myth of the male patriarchy, and advocates equal rights for women where it's convenient for women, but unequal responsibilities women when it's convenient for women.

Someone who believes that men and women, while inherently biologically different, should have equal protection under the law and women should not be barred from access to societal, political, or economic roles solely based on their gender is just a logical person.

Let me give you an example. In 2013 if there is a cruise or passenger ship that sinks and there isn't enough lifeboats, it's "women and children first." Steven Hawking (or any man, regardless of his accomplishments) would be demanded by society to give up his spot on the lifeboat for any high-school dropout drug addict woman, solely because he's a man. Society values women above men, and society expects men to protect women even if it means death. Even if the man is infinitely more accomplished than the woman, doesn't matter. Men in our society are disposable. Women must be cherished and preserved at all costs. There is a very good and obvious evolutionary reason for that, as had been necessary for the survival of our species for hundreds of thousands of years. This is why we send MEN to die for stupid wars, and not women. This is why sex-crimes and domestic abuse are only really recognized if the perpetrator is a man and the victim is a woman. Trying being a man and claiming you were date-raped by a woman who got you intoxicated, and see how far that gets you. Feminism is not interested in equality; if it were, it would be interested in treating every person as an individual who should be judged on his or her own accomplishment and by his or her own actions. But Feminism is not interested in equality, it is interested ...


Even worse than the evil feminist though is the complete moron who doesn't know what they are talking about.
2013-01-23 06:25:09 PM
1 votes:
i47.tinypic.com
2013-01-23 06:17:41 PM
1 votes:
Fark yeah!

i215.photobucket.com
2013-01-23 06:17:19 PM
1 votes:

cman: Harvey Manfrenjensenjen: How about we just get rid of the draft instead? I find that to be more of an anachronism and source of ire than prohibiting women from combat roles.

We dont have a draft...


farm6.staticflickr.com
2013-01-23 06:13:44 PM
1 votes:

Marine1: How long before they have to sign up for the SSS?

/or figure out that a baby is a good way to get out of shooting at some beady-eyed motherfarker in the Afghan wastes?


Oh wow. I can see that happening too. "We're instituting a draft." "That's cool, we're going to be pregnant starting tomorrow." Though, I guess in some twisted way that has a population balancing effect.
2013-01-23 06:11:20 PM
1 votes:
Won't the bears be able to sniff them out during their time of the month?
2013-01-23 06:09:51 PM
1 votes:

somemoron: blatz514: [shoeblogs.com image 589x452]

You say Ukraine is weak?

Those are some damn short skirts if they are actual military personnel. I would have to see more to verify the authenticity of these photos. For that matter, they mostly seem to have long hair. Not a good trait for a combat soldier. Again, though, I need more pictorial evidence to be sure.

\Every last one of them could kick my ass, even if they were in high heels.


I'm guessing they're there for oral support.
2013-01-23 06:02:05 PM
1 votes:

knbwhite: I got no problem with women and gays serving in any job they qualify for, but I do have one comment. When my mom informed me I should have no problem with gays in the field with me because they weren't interested in me because I am afflicted with teh straight. I told her to head on down to the college and shower with the football team, because hey, they aren't interested in her.

Any farkette's/mom's have a comment?


I have a comment. You're an idiot.
2013-01-23 05:54:58 PM
1 votes:
I'm ok with more of this:

farm9.staticflickr.com
2013-01-23 05:50:12 PM
1 votes:

TheEdibleSnuggie: Cue feminist outrage that men and women in the military now playing equal roles in 3...2...1...


I don't think you are aware of what a feminist actually is.
2013-01-23 05:47:49 PM
1 votes:
War is one of the worst things that mankind does to each other. I do not find any joy in encouraging women to be full participants in this activity.
2013-01-23 05:46:23 PM
1 votes:
Including special forces? Yeah, good luck with that one.
2013-01-23 05:41:49 PM
1 votes:

Fail in Human Form: Unless there's ONE physical standard for both men and women then this is going to be a huge clusterfark.


There is. That's why women weren't allowed in combat.
2013-01-23 05:41:22 PM
1 votes:

Nabb1: Completely juvenile, sophomoric and crass.

+1


Welcome to Fark, heh heh heh

I give +2 for our gallant submitter. Goddmannit man, that actually made me laugh out loud when I read the real headline.
2013-01-23 05:39:06 PM
1 votes:
Will the lezbos get their own division?
2013-01-23 05:38:00 PM
1 votes:
About time, women deserve the right to make the same terrible decisions men can.

Also definite HOTY material, well done subby.
2013-01-23 05:37:49 PM
1 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com

I know you really want to know who's
comin' through leaving bloodstains and residues
Sorry homeboy but your flow sounds used
Gotta pay your dues baby you know the rules

Whenever I travel the world I landcruise
If you choose to fark around you get bruised
Now I got you gassed on super unleaded fuels
Get me through give me some space you excuse
2013-01-23 05:37:40 PM
1 votes:
The enemies better give up now. You have no chance against our women!! They are going to kick your ass and you will thank them for it.
2013-01-23 05:33:57 PM
1 votes:
Good to know the women are finally getting their war boobies.
2013-01-23 05:11:51 PM
1 votes:
Vagina.
2013-01-23 04:51:15 PM
1 votes:
>_>
<_<
O_O
2013-01-23 04:07:28 PM
1 votes:
THIS BETTER get the green.
 
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