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(My Fox DC)   My wife told me childbirth was an amazing story full of hope and love - um, say...what are all of those self-adhesive electrodes for?   (myfoxdc.com) divider line 62
    More: Interesting, AJ McCarron, British soldiers, New York Police Department, Miss Alabama USA  
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7793 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2013 at 12:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-23 12:13:30 PM  
This should be mandatory for all men.

/Bring it on!
/Bring it on!
/Bring on the PAIN!
 
2013-01-23 12:14:19 PM  
www.smbc-comics.com
 
2013-01-23 12:16:18 PM  
Overacting much?
 
2013-01-23 12:17:38 PM  
Those are to ensure you don't name your child Aiden or Madison.
 
2013-01-23 12:18:27 PM  
After looking at that still frame for the video I immediately got a mental picture of some woman talking about how horrible childbirth was while in the background Johnny Knoxville and crew are strapped into hospital beds tasing each other and putting on electrodes. Somebody reaching over and cranking someone else's machine up.
 
2013-01-23 12:18:39 PM  
Unless birthing a child actually does feel like electronic shocks for mom, this experiment simulates nothing.
 
2013-01-23 12:18:46 PM  
Didn't watch the video, but if anyone is particularly interested in what contractions feel like, I always tell them the closest thing I can equate it to is someone giving your whole abdomen an indian rug burn.
 
2013-01-23 12:19:04 PM  
Women, always complaining about something
 
2013-01-23 12:19:36 PM  
Electric shocks to abdominal muscles are not the same as uterine contractions and having your pelvis expand to accommodate giving birth.

/I say, let 'em scream. Don't want kids, won't have kids. Too bad for you that you do.
//I have had a traction pin extracted from my femur with no anesthesia when I was eight. I'll put that against childbirth.
 
2013-01-23 12:21:16 PM  
Does the reporter also get injected full of the endorphins and other drugs the woman's body manufactures during childbirth?
 
2013-01-23 12:21:52 PM  
Now if only we can simulate your skin ripping or being cut so the baby can pass through the vagina!

/and c sections
//had both
///NEVER AGAIN
 
2013-01-23 12:24:02 PM  
I didn't watch because it sounds exactly like an experiment that an Australian anchor did for his show last year. His wife, a mother of 3, was the one that established the baseline threshold by finding the setting that felt like an early contraction and then they hooked him up. Basically the story ended with him getting about 3/4 of the way through simulated labor before he used his safe word and declaring that he was never going to inflict that on his wife again.
 
2013-01-23 12:24:29 PM  
We get it: you're special because you have a vagina, and men are lesser because they don't have one.
 
2013-01-23 12:24:41 PM  
mortal.shang.free.fr
 
2013-01-23 12:27:15 PM  
I had kidney stones twice. I have a woman who is a friend who also had kidney stones. She told me she'd rather give birth again.
I couldn't even bend to stand up I was in so much pain. 3 shots of morphine and then a shot of dye and i passed it. It was no bigger than 1/2 a grain of rice, if that. Seriously, the piece of stone.salt/calcium that came out of the end of my dick was no bigger that this * (on your keyboard) and I felt a burning and back pain like I'd tore all the muscles in my lower back.
The second time I had *really* bad cramps like gas. I toughed it out. i was concerned and was on the phone with urologist 20 seconds after I tried to pee for the 4th time and did, and BLOOD CAME OUT OF MY DICK!!! Thankfully a guy in my unit had the same thing happen to him so i knew what it was.

Me: "Um, Hello, yes, I peed Blood"
Dr office: "Oh we can see you on Tuesday"
Me: "You.Don't. Understand" BLOOD CAME OUT OF MY DICK!!"
Dr Office." It's ok we'll see you on Tuesday (This was Friday)
Me: HELLLOOOOOO, DICK!!! PEE. BLOOD
Dr Office: Yes, I understand, You're not dying. Come see us Tuesday and we'll check it out.
Me: WTFF- OK then.

/sometimes the stones can be sharp and can nick a capillary and that happens.
 
2013-01-23 12:30:12 PM  

Mister Pleco: Electric shocks to abdominal muscles are not the same as uterine contractions and having your pelvis expand to accommodate giving birth.

/I say, let 'em scream. Don't want kids, won't have kids. Too bad for you that you do.
//I have had a traction pin extracted from my femur with no anesthesia when I was eight. I'll put that against childbirth.


I had one pulled out of my shattered elbow. The doc said, "let me go get my fancy medical device" and came back with farkin pliers. The one and only time I've needed smelling salts. Gimme a break, I was ten.

/yes, he used the pliers
//no painkillers
 
2013-01-23 12:30:19 PM  

Marine1: We get it: you're special because you have a vagina, and men are lesser because they don't have one.


We're special because we're softer and prettier than you.

/take that!
 
2013-01-23 12:40:54 PM  
Childbirth is not that bad. I've had five kids, 3 with epidurals and two without. My gallbladder was taken out two years ago due to a pea sized stone that got stuck. That was bad.
 
2013-01-23 12:48:30 PM  

5monkeys: Childbirth is not that bad. I've had five kids, 3 with epidurals and two without. My gallbladder was taken out two years ago due to a pea sized stone that got stuck. That was bad.


My mother said the same thing. Not sure if it was gallbladder or kidney... but... she said it was worse than childbirth.
 
2013-01-23 12:48:41 PM  

ChipNASA: I had kidney stones twice. I have a woman who is a friend who also had kidney stones. She told me she'd rather give birth again.
I couldn't even bend to stand up I was in so much pain. 3 shots of morphine and then a shot of dye and i passed it. It was no bigger than 1/2 a grain of rice, if that. Seriously, the piece of stone.salt/calcium that came out of the end of my dick was no bigger that this * (on your keyboard) and I felt a burning and back pain like I'd tore all the muscles in my lower back.
The second time I had *really* bad cramps like gas. I toughed it out. i was concerned and was on the phone with urologist 20 seconds after I tried to pee for the 4th time and did, and BLOOD CAME OUT OF MY DICK!!! Thankfully a guy in my unit had the same thing happen to him so i knew what it was.

Me: "Um, Hello, yes, I peed Blood"
Dr office: "Oh we can see you on Tuesday"
Me: "You.Don't. Understand" BLOOD CAME OUT OF MY DICK!!"
Dr Office." It's ok we'll see you on Tuesday (This was Friday)
Me: HELLLOOOOOO, DICK!!! PEE. BLOOD
Dr Office: Yes, I understand, You're not dying. Come see us Tuesday and we'll check it out.
Me: WTFF- OK then.

/sometimes the stones can be sharp and can nick a capillary and that happens.


I concur! I had two natrual births, but also had gallstones.

I would rather give birth to a semi truck with no drugs than have another gallbladder attack
 
2013-01-23 12:49:33 PM  

ChipNASA: I had kidney stones twice. I have a woman who is a friend who also had kidney stones. She told me she'd rather give birth again.
I couldn't even bend to stand up I was in so much pain. 3 shots of morphine and then a shot of dye and i passed it. It was no bigger than 1/2 a grain of rice, if that. Seriously, the piece of stone.salt/calcium that came out of the end of my dick was no bigger that this * (on your keyboard) and I felt a burning and back pain like I'd tore all the muscles in my lower back.
The second time I had *really* bad cramps like gas. I toughed it out. i was concerned and was on the phone with urologist 20 seconds after I tried to pee for the 4th time and did, and BLOOD CAME OUT OF MY DICK!!! Thankfully a guy in my unit had the same thing happen to him so i knew what it was.

Me: "Um, Hello, yes, I peed Blood"
Dr office: "Oh we can see you on Tuesday"
Me: "You.Don't. Understand" BLOOD CAME OUT OF MY DICK!!"
Dr Office." It's ok we'll see you on Tuesday (This was Friday)
Me: HELLLOOOOOO, DICK!!! PEE. BLOOD
Dr Office: Yes, I understand, You're not dying. Come see us Tuesday and we'll check it out.
Me: WTFF- OK then.

/sometimes the stones can be sharp and can nick a capillary and that happens.


I have had kidney stones 4 times, once requiring surgery, a stint, and then lithotripsy.

I went to the ER and they told me to give them a urine sample. I came back and handed the cup to the nurse. She says, "looks like chocolate milk, you must have kidney stones." They gave me morphine (thank GOD) and then ran some tests. They told me I was passing a stone too large and that it was stuck in my ureter, and tearing the ureter walls, and they would have to put in a stint. Little did I know that meant a garden hose being showed in my penis.

When the doctor says, "I will be passing over the prostate and you could feel some pressure." What he means is he will be passing over the prostate and it's going to feel like a Rambo survival knife just entered your a-hole and then got twisted a few times. H-O-L-Y S-H-I-A-T!!!
 
2013-01-23 12:50:58 PM  
Pfftt.

One time I got a paper cut and it didn't even bleed. Well a little. But I didn't cry. Well a little. But no one saw me. Except for this one guy. Buhhhh
 
2013-01-23 12:55:03 PM  
It must not be too bad or else my wife wouldn't want to go through it again.

d-day to d-day+3: "Never again!"
d-day+7: "maybe another one."
d-day+30: "lets start planning the next one."

I tell ya, I wouldn't want to go through it. It's even painful to watch. My wife is a champ.
 
2013-01-23 12:56:38 PM  
I once had the local anesthetic wear off during a minor operation.

It was my vasectomy.  Hint: It didn't tickle.
 
2013-01-23 12:58:27 PM  
When you vomit you are transitioning into the last phase.

Babby soon come
 
2013-01-23 01:09:47 PM  

punishmentforshoplifting: Didn't watch the video, but if anyone is particularly interested in what contractions feel like, I always tell them the closest thing I can equate it to is someone giving your whole abdomen an indian rug burn.


From the inside out.
 
2013-01-23 01:10:32 PM  
I'll see your childbirth and raise you getting run over by a train.
 
2013-01-23 01:13:37 PM  

5monkeys: Childbirth is not that bad. I've had five kids, 3 with epidurals and two without. My gallbladder was taken out two years ago due to a pea sized stone that got stuck. That was bad.


I was the opposite on pain levels. Childbirth was worse than my GB attack. Hell, my leg tattoo was worse pain-wise than the GB attack.

/gallbladder was taken out three days after the attack
//thought the gb attack was a strange asthma attack
 
2013-01-23 01:15:46 PM  
www.celebritydiagnosis.com
 
2013-01-23 01:16:29 PM  

Marine1: We get it: you're special because you have a vagina, and men are lesser because they don't have one.


Finally! I've been waiting for you guys to understand that for years!

/was that so hard?
 
2013-01-23 01:17:35 PM  
You what's awesome? Modern medicine is awesome. Thank you, 2 epidurals!
 
2013-01-23 01:17:46 PM  
My wife told me childbirth was an amazing story full of hope and love

Your wife is a liar, dude. When I first met her she told me that she didn't do anal...
 
2013-01-23 01:19:33 PM  

Mach10: This should be mandatory for all men.

/Bring it on!
/Bring it on!
/Bring on the PAIN!


I agree, in return, women should experience the joys of a kick in the nuts.
 
2013-01-23 01:19:48 PM  
Do they have some sort of simulation for women to experience what it's like to live with a pregnant woman for 9 months?
 
2013-01-23 01:24:26 PM  
Childbirth is easy. Two notches under my belt. Worst pain I ever felt was in high school when I had mono. I was out of school 6 weeks and in the hospital 3 times. My whole body hurt and ached every day, I wasn't ever asleep or awake, just kind of in between. Throat was so swollen I couldn't eat and the pain pills I choked down made me dry heave. Lost 17 lbs, and as a lightweight already I looked skeletal. I 'woke up' one day and asked what day it was and it had already been 5 weeks.
/would not wish on worst enemy
//... yes I would
 
2013-01-23 01:27:17 PM  
Speaking as a woman who has given birth twice, without anesthesia, the contractions aren't the worst part. The worst part is when your pelvis separates. That was the only point where it was difficult to refrain from screaming.
 
2013-01-23 01:33:36 PM  
I had my appendix burst while I was in college. Supposedly that's similar. My abdomen was on fire, but it wasn't the end of the world. I could still function well enough to call a cab, get to the hospital, convey to the doctor what was wrong, and prep for surgery.

Pain thresholds are different for everyone, obviously, but I'm pretty sure I could deal with child birth.
 
2013-01-23 01:35:20 PM  

Helena Handbasket: Speaking as a woman who has given birth twice, without anesthesia, the contractions aren't the worst part. The worst part is when your pelvis separates. That was the only point where it was difficult to refrain from screaming.


Depends on the woman I guess. My mother insists that labor wasn't that difficult for her and her pelvis just sort of did all the work through out the process so she didn't even notice the separation. Sister in law said that it was worse than the time she was hit by a car.
 
2013-01-23 01:42:01 PM  
My wife birthed our first child without meds -- not by choice, she just went really fast (40 minutes). From the standing-by-and-helplessly-watching-a-loved-one-go-through-pain perspective, it was pretty horrible. Fortunately, there appears to be something in the female mind that blocks memories of that crap, because she wanted another one a few months later.

The birth of our 2nd child was surreal. She got the epidural in time and she was beaming with happiness throughout the entire affair. According to her, there was no pain.

I don't understand the perspective that men must experience this pain in some way. Men don't walk around casually saying stupid stuff like: "Hey, that hurt more than child birth." Also, if your wife wants to see you go through pain just for the hell of it, run. Fast. I _never_ want to see my spouse in pain. Or my children. Or my pets. Because I'm not psychotic.

On a side note, A LOT of people walk around saying stupid stuff like: "I have a migraine". These people are idiots. You can recognize them because they can actually walk and talk -- people with true migraines don't do either of those things.
 
2013-01-23 01:43:28 PM  
Both times giving birth, labor felt to me like my lower back being ripped in two every two minutes for the last six hours of hard labor. I'd be willing to try the electrodes for a comparison.
 
2013-01-23 01:52:16 PM  
Breastfeeding was actually far worse than labour.
 
2013-01-23 01:56:09 PM  

RodneyToady: I once had the local anesthetic wear off during a minor operation.

It was my vasectomy.  Hint: It didn't tickle.


Holy crap! I had a very similar thing happen. I am not sure if it wore off or they didn't give me enough, but I had hand surgery and the first cut is something I will never forget. I was not sure at first if I was imagining it or not, but by the time the scalpel got close to the bone, I had to speak up.

Still sends chills over my whole body thinking about that feeling.
 
2013-01-23 02:02:49 PM  
www.miserableretailslave.com

Surprised no one posted this yet.
 
2013-01-23 02:18:56 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Breastfeeding was actually far worse than labour.


You're supposed to stop letting them when they sprout teeth.
 
2013-01-23 02:19:34 PM  

ChipNASA: I had kidney stones twice. I have a woman who is a friend who also had kidney stones. She told me she'd rather give birth again.
I couldn't even bend to stand up I was in so much pain. 3 shots of morphine and then a shot of dye and i passed it. It was no bigger than 1/2 a grain of rice, if that. Seriously, the piece of stone.salt/calcium that came out of the end of my dick was no bigger that this * (on your keyboard) and I felt a burning and back pain like I'd tore all the muscles in my lower back.
The second time I had *really* bad cramps like gas. I toughed it out. i was concerned and was on the phone with urologist 20 seconds after I tried to pee for the 4th time and did, and BLOOD CAME OUT OF MY DICK!!! Thankfully a guy in my unit had the same thing happen to him so i knew what it was.

Me: "Um, Hello, yes, I peed Blood"
Dr office: "Oh we can see you on Tuesday"
Me: "You.Don't. Understand" BLOOD CAME OUT OF MY DICK!!"
Dr Office." It's ok we'll see you on Tuesday (This was Friday)
Me: HELLLOOOOOO, DICK!!! PEE. BLOOD
Dr Office: Yes, I understand, You're not dying. Come see us Tuesday and we'll check it out.
Me: WTFF- OK then.

/sometimes the stones can be sharp and can nick a capillary and that happens.


You'd think they could have at least given you an explanation over the phone for why you were peeing blood. Perhaps it's not uncommon for kidney stones to do that, but it would make sense for them to rule out any other possible causes that might, you know, be medical emergencies.

Food poisoning can suck, too. I've woken up a few times in the middle of the night with searing gas pain after unknowingly drinking expired milk the evening before. I don't know how it would compare to kidney stones, but it was the sort of thing that couldn't possibly be more painful.
 
2013-01-23 02:40:18 PM  

chemrebel: 5monkeys: Childbirth is not that bad. I've had five kids, 3 with epidurals and two without. My gallbladder was taken out two years ago due to a pea sized stone that got stuck. That was bad.

I was the opposite on pain levels. Childbirth was worse than my GB attack. Hell, my leg tattoo was worse pain-wise than the GB attack.

/gallbladder was taken out three days after the attack
//thought the gb attack was a strange asthma attack


The difference was probably the type of attack. I had stones for years and refused to follow up an get surgery. They would pass and I would be fine. When the final stone happened it got stuck. I was in the hospital for 7 days. Four of those were getting rid of the infection, 1 was to remove stone with a tube down my throat, and the last two were for gall bladder removal and recovery. The pain was so bad I threw up 10 times as I drove myself to the er. It didn't stop till they pulled it out. The other attacks I had were bad, but this was different. It was a 10 pain wise for days. My body just kept shutting down. I would throw up and pass out. Never felt anything like it and hope I never do again. I am glad the stupid thing us gone now.
 
2013-01-23 02:45:30 PM  
"what are all of those self-adhesive electrodes for?"
"We've given your wife this button to push when she's in pain..."
 
2013-01-23 03:19:55 PM  
Anyone who has used those abbelts on a high setting probably has a fair idea what it's like.
 
2013-01-23 03:20:10 PM  
It's amazing to be stuck in a roomful of women with kids who start swapping childbirth stories, each seeming to want to top the others in how much pain there was, how long labor was, who pooped in front of everybody, who got ripped open, etc., who will then turn to me and ask in complete seriousness, "So why don't you have kids?"  ARE YOU FARKING KIDDING ME?

Worst pain I was ever in is a tossup between when my wisdom teeth came in and when I dislocated my knee.  The former made me scream and the latter made me puke.
 
2013-01-23 03:22:52 PM  
This would be a fun addition to the Sex Ed class.  Don't want to be on the pill?  Don't want to use condoms? Give this a test drive...... *zap*

5monkeys: The pain was so bad I threw up 10 times as I drove myself to the er. It didn't stop till they pulled it out. The other attacks I had were bad, but this was different. It was a 10 pain wise for days. My body just kept shutting down. I would throw up and pass out. Never felt anything like it and hope I never do again. I am glad the stupid thing us gone now.


That's how it was with my gallstones.  Pain to point that I couldn't breathe.
Childbirth was only easier because I had a few seconds of relief between waves of pain.
 
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