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(Mental Floss)   Six terrifying bedtime stories that should keep your kids in line   ( divider line
    More: Scary, burned to death, cautionary tales  
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1324 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 23 Jan 2013 at 1:34 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

22 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2013-01-23 12:40:06 PM  
I think I'll stick with "Good Night Gorilla", "Just Like Daddy", and the like...
2013-01-23 12:51:46 PM  
To little boys that suck their thumbs,
And ere they dream what he's about.
He takes his great sharp scissors out
And cuts their thumbs clean off, and then,
You know, they never grow again.

0.tqn.comView Full Size
2013-01-23 02:44:34 PM  
My father just read Penthouse Forum to me at bedtime.
2013-01-23 04:00:21 PM  
My mom always told us about "Uncle Aloisyus" who didn't eat his vegatables and was blown away by the north wind while milking the cows.
2013-01-23 05:09:44 PM  
i344.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-01-23 05:53:17 PM  
Came here solely for Struwwelpeter and was of course delighted.

/but not de-thumbed!
2013-01-23 06:30:18 PM  
The sentences are to complicated for many of today's young parents.If it's not in net-speak better leave it to the grandparents to do.
2013-01-23 06:36:14 PM  
At last she grew so coarse,
E'en her voice was rough and hoarse,
And her attitudes became so like a boy's, boy's, boy's,
That they thought it only right,
On a certain Summer's night,
To change her sex completely, without noise, noise, noise.

"Clenis". That is all.
2013-01-23 06:39:11 PM  
I remember Rebecca, Who Slammed Doors, from when I was in elementary school. It's nice to see the whole thing again. (You have to go to the linked book and preview it.) It wasn't terrifying, it was funny, and was presented as such.

I remember being confused about the "bust of Abraham" though. I thought it meant Abraham Lincoln, and I didn't know that a "bust" could be a type of statue, and wondered how one could flatten someone.

//also wondered why or how Abraham Lincoln had a bust
/childhood is confusing
2013-01-23 06:41:01 PM
2013-01-23 06:44:56 PM  
Mares eat oats,
and does eat oats,
and little lambs eat Ivy.

images2.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

I'd eat Ivy, too...
2013-01-23 07:49:38 PM  
Ahhh Germans. They love to scare children.

/ list fails without Krampus
2013-01-23 10:38:27 PM  
round up the first few years of National Lampoon Magazine off eBay and you'll have plenty of tales to scare hell out of your kids with.
2013-01-24 01:42:29 AM  
I got a different story of losing thumbs when I was growing up.

3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-01-24 02:23:35 AM  
I know that a terrifying story like that coming from the mouth of a recognized authority figure could be traumatizing to kids like yourselves. I know that because I had a similar situation with my Uncle Roy and a story he used to tell about a family who went into the woods and was attacked by a band of escaped Army psycho patients, who'd been subjected to violent, hellish torture behavior modification experiments. It seems they escaped from the metal boxes the Army kept them in, found this family in the woods, fell upon them, slaughtered them and ate them. Well now that story gave me nightmares not to be believed. So, no more thinking about bears, all right.
2013-01-24 02:28:48 AM  
That first one's now a Tiger Lillies song.

Of course, if you raise your kids on a musical diet that includes The Tiger Lillies you're making a seriously weird dude.
2013-01-24 06:00:10 AM  
This is what I grew up on. Link

I still love it. Now I have nieces & nephews old enough to hear it, too.
2013-01-24 07:17:25 AM  

cgraves67: My mom always told us about "Uncle Aloisyus" who didn't eat his vegatables and was blown away by the north wind while milking the cows.

The moral of the story being to always keep an onion on your belt to weigh you down?
2013-01-24 12:31:38 PM  
My dad just told me I shouldn't get out of bed, that's what the kid who used to live here did.
2013-01-24 03:25:12 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Mares eat oats,
and does eat oats,
and little lambs eat Ivy.

[ image 562x768]

I'd eat Ivy, too...

Stay away...she's poison
2013-01-25 02:50:45 AM  
Awesome. I was hoping for either der schneider or max und moritz and I got both.
2013-01-26 03:24:37 AM  
shhh...the Grither will hear you...
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