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(Salon)   Dear Penthouse, I never thought this would happen to me, but I fell in love with my sorority sister   (salon.com) divider line 48
    More: Cool, Charlie Kaufman, enya, Jeep Wrangler, sorority, bake sales, John Hancock, sorority sisters, Boylston Street  
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24978 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2013 at 1:29 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-23 02:51:18 AM  
16 votes:
The only reason that a woman would turn gay is because she hasn't been dicked good and proper. I guarantee that if those vulva slurpers were to spend a few hours with me and the hog tamer, they'd be trading in the Doc Martens and lumberjack shirts for some silky Vicky Secret lin-ger-REE and Prada pumps. A little ground and pound with a phallic Jedimaster like myself will cause their once-dormant estrogen faucets to turn on full blast, baby. After just a tiny whiff of my manhood, I'll have them flossing with my pubes in zero seconds flat.
2013-01-23 02:36:37 AM  
13 votes:
i46.tinypic.com
2013-01-23 01:44:00 AM  
7 votes:
goodcomics.comicbookresources.com

Worst Penthouse Forum letter ever!
2013-01-23 12:56:20 AM  
5 votes:
Lindsay and I were always close friends, we did everything together. Well, not everything. Until one day, in the shower after field hockey practice...
2013-01-23 12:12:38 AM  
5 votes:
Huh. I was expecting Omega Moo's.
2013-01-23 03:09:48 AM  
4 votes:

Atomic Spunk: The only reason that a woman would turn gay is because she hasn't been dicked good and proper. I guarantee that if those vulva slurpers were to spend a few hours with me and the hog tamer, they'd be trading in the Doc Martens and lumberjack shirts for some silky Vicky Secret lin-ger-REE and Prada pumps. A little ground and pound with a phallic Jedimaster like myself will cause their once-dormant estrogen faucets to turn on full blast, baby. After just a tiny whiff of my manhood, I'll have them flossing with my pubes in zero seconds flat.


I'd buy all your drinks for the night of you were to walk into the Lexington in the Mission district, stand on the bar and proclaim "all you girls need is a good deep dicking to finally end all this foolishness. Alright cupcakes, who's first?" I'll keep the door held open (and we'll need a wheel man) so you effect egress promptly.
2013-01-23 01:45:38 AM  
4 votes:
So Salon is Penthouse Letters now?

I eagerly await finding out that Huffington Post has become Swank.
2013-01-23 12:54:07 AM  
4 votes:
WTF am I reading?
2013-01-23 07:47:28 AM  
3 votes:

walkerhound: If ya can't get yourself a 12, at least you can get an 8 and a 4.


static1.fjcdn.com
2013-01-23 06:51:58 AM  
3 votes:

Uchiha_Cycliste: Atomic Spunk: The only reason that a woman would turn gay is because she hasn't been dicked good and proper. I guarantee that if those vulva slurpers were to spend a few hours with me and the hog tamer, they'd be trading in the Doc Martens and lumberjack shirts for some silky Vicky Secret lin-ger-REE and Prada pumps. A little ground and pound with a phallic Jedimaster like myself will cause their once-dormant estrogen faucets to turn on full blast, baby. After just a tiny whiff of my manhood, I'll have them flossing with my pubes in zero seconds flat.

I'd buy all your drinks for the night of you were to walk into the Lexington in the Mission district, stand on the bar and proclaim "all you girls need is a good deep dicking to finally end all this foolishness. Alright cupcakes, who's first?" I'll keep the door held open (and we'll need a wheel man) so you effect egress promptly.


I think it would be funnier to get a guy to walk into a gay bar and shout that exact same line.
2013-01-23 06:37:48 AM  
3 votes:

OtherLittleGuy: illannoyin: Proving once again that fantasy lesbians...

[img122.imageshack.us image 416x600]

Do not equal real life lesbians...

[media.salon.com image 620x412]

/I've seen worse though

[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x495]

This is the "fuglier" of the two.


Say what you want, Ellen gets the hot babes. George Clooney could be her wingman.
2013-01-23 04:34:03 AM  
3 votes:

quickdraw: WTF am I reading?


.
A detailed account of the onset of a mental disorder.
2013-01-23 02:57:27 AM  
3 votes:

Atomic Spunk: The only reason that a woman would turn gay is because she hasn't been dicked good and proper. I guarantee that if those vulva slurpers were to spend a few hours with me and the hog tamer, they'd be trading in the Doc Martens and lumberjack shirts for some silky Vicky Secret lin-ger-REE and Prada pumps. A little ground and pound with a phallic Jedimaster like myself will cause their once-dormant estrogen faucets to turn on full blast, baby. After just a tiny whiff of my manhood, I'll have them flossing with my pubes in zero seconds flat.


Slow down dude. Save the three wolf shirt for the second date.
2013-01-23 02:42:03 AM  
3 votes:

digitalrain: What would you call a woman who identifies as bisexual but hasn't had a relationship with another female in almost two decades because she is married to a man whom she loves very much?


I'd suggest "biatch" for not setting up a threesome.
2013-01-23 01:34:51 AM  
3 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: Sgygus: An 8 and a 4 ... I don't think so.

Which is the 8? More like 3's to me.
/Studman


He was talking about their sizes.
2013-01-23 09:04:29 AM  
2 votes:
Well did some research, and they claim to have been together nine years, I guess they are counting the years they were pining for each other.

The thing is she is all worried about people viewing them as "that lesbian couple" but she has told her story to salon, yahoo, nymag,  and even have a website.      http://2brides2be.com/    White people attention whoring problems at its finest.

pixel.nymag.com
2013-01-23 08:07:05 AM  
2 votes:

Doubleodoug: dragonchild: Kinda cool that this thread picked up on the fact that the issue with this relationship has nothing to do homosexuality and everything to do with emotional immaturity.

I know, this thread hasn't done a lick to help me know what real lesbians may look like.


forgifs.com

Happy now?
2013-01-23 02:16:24 AM  
2 votes:
In the olden days we worried about an ink shortage.

Since we have progressed into the the Intertubes:

i94.photobucket.com
2013-01-23 02:04:57 AM  
2 votes:

SpdrJay: Dear Blueboy,
I never thought this could happen to me, but when I was walking to the showers through the lockeroom last week......


Was this in the vicinity of Penn State, by any chance?
2013-01-23 01:41:58 AM  
2 votes:
Lennay ?!?!?
2013-01-23 12:28:22 AM  
2 votes:
LESBIAN THREAD!!!
2013-01-23 12:15:51 AM  
2 votes:
Difficulty: salon.com
2013-01-23 03:08:55 PM  
1 votes:
i172.photobucket.com
2013-01-23 08:58:09 AM  
1 votes:
I think we have a new fancy way to say slut" Like most of the other girls, I passed the time with whoever looked cute and seemed interested. I'd never been in a real relationship, and at 19, I was scared of being vulnerable. I kept things casual. "

My prediction is that they make it one year at the most.  The other girl is going to cheat on her with a dude, and show up pregnant, tell he she still loves her, and that they should raise the baby together, but for the babies sake they need to have three ways with the father.
2013-01-23 08:46:38 AM  
1 votes:
i86.photobucket.com
2013-01-23 08:16:53 AM  
1 votes:
Delta Delta Delta
25.media.tumblr.com
They can't help it, help it, help it.
ehrmagerd?
2013-01-23 08:12:57 AM  
1 votes:

WTFDYW: THe chick on the right looks like Gene Simmons


And if she has a tongue like Gene Simmons, we know why the author is so in love.
2013-01-23 07:35:40 AM  
1 votes:
Why is this an article? Oh I'm so shocked about the lesbians, oh my gosh.
2013-01-23 06:52:37 AM  
1 votes:

JonnyG: The relationship won't last. She will realize her mistake and go back to the winning team.


Uh... Lesbians ARE the winning team.
2013-01-23 06:41:17 AM  
1 votes:

digitalrain: I thought it was a sweet story.

What would you call a woman who identifies as bisexual but hasn't had a relationship with another female in almost two a decade because she is married to a man whom she loves very much?


My wife
2013-01-23 06:34:22 AM  
1 votes:

illannoyin: Proving once again that fantasy lesbians...

[img122.imageshack.us image 416x600]

Do not equal real life lesbians...

[media.salon.com image 620x412]

/I've seen worse though


assets.nydailynews.com

This is the "fuglier" of the two.
2013-01-23 05:17:04 AM  
1 votes:
distilleryimage0.s3.amazonaws.com
2013-01-23 04:59:47 AM  
1 votes:
hey, who can blame them?

vajayjay tastes great! less filling! tastes great!

and so on.
2013-01-23 04:38:33 AM  
1 votes:
Proving once again that fantasy lesbians...

img122.imageshack.us

Do not equal real life lesbians...

media.salon.com

/I've seen worse though
2013-01-23 04:35:20 AM  
1 votes:
When people ask how Sam and I met, I almost never tell them the entire story

Unless, of course, those "people" are THE ENTIRE INTERNET. Dumb way to start a dumb article.
2013-01-23 03:13:09 AM  
1 votes:

GAT_00: Sweet story, but it's kind of missing a big piece between 'on and off' and 'married.'


Also missing was even the tiniest explanation of what there is to like about the other girl. Not a thing sounded particularly positive, aside from a declaration of love and the proposal itself. Other than that, about all there is in TFA to give some clues about her personality, really, is:
- she was mean to the writer, then later claimed that it was just a playing-hard-to-get ploy
- she cheated on the writer
- she was disrespectful of other girls in the sorority.

Hopefully there are a lot of positive aspects that just got left out somehow.
2013-01-23 03:03:29 AM  
1 votes:
brblroom26.files.wordpress.com
2013-01-23 02:56:13 AM  
1 votes:
Maybe it's a sign of the times, but I got to the end of the story and was still waiting for the point. You're getting married, congrats. But why do I care?
2013-01-23 02:38:06 AM  
1 votes:

digitalrain: I thought it was a sweet story.

What would you call a woman who identifies as bisexual but hasn't had a relationship with another female in almost two decades because she is married to a man whom she loves very much?


A 1 or a 2 on the Kinsey scale?
2013-01-23 02:13:18 AM  
1 votes:
I liked the story. It was illogical and vaguely defined, but such is love.
2013-01-23 01:58:52 AM  
1 votes:
Of course this shiatty writer gets into the MFA program at the New School, and I don't even get a sniff.

/from now on, I tell every prospective employer/grad progam that I identify as a genderqueer relationship hacker/relationship anarchist (look it up, it's a "real" thing, at least according to the tumblr lunatic brigade), so they will be so scared of offending somebody that they let me do whatever I want
2013-01-23 01:50:05 AM  
1 votes:
Dear Blueboy,
I never thought this could happen to me, but when I was walking to the showers through the lockeroom last week......
2013-01-23 01:44:17 AM  
1 votes:
She's all boy crazy, but suddenly in love with a girl.... but not bi....

This seems like a condensed version of a really long, boring story.
2013-01-23 01:40:51 AM  
1 votes:
Exams were stressing me out so when Sarah bounced into my room and said that she had a little buzzy friend that helps her take the edge off.
2013-01-23 01:32:19 AM  
1 votes:

Sgygus: An 8 and a 4 ... I don't think so.


Which is the 8? More like 3's to me.
/Studman
2013-01-23 01:31:29 AM  
1 votes:

propasaurus: That was very sweet.


You know what? Yes. Yes, it was. No snark at all from me on that nice story.
2013-01-23 01:04:48 AM  
1 votes:

vernonFL: Lindsay and I were always close friends, we did everything together. Well, not everything. Until one day, in the shower after field hockey practice...


We started out as best friends, but then we became breast friends.
2013-01-23 12:25:27 AM  
1 votes:
An 8 and a 4 ... I don't think so.
 
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