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(Guardian)   Dear advice Columnist: a lesbian couple moved into the apartment across the street from us, and have no curtains or shades for the floor-to-ceiling picture window in their bedroom, what should I do? Columnist: Charge admission?   (guardian.co.uk) divider line 78
    More: Amusing, University and college admissions, high-rise apartment, ceilings, telephoto lens, curtains, bedrooms, lesbians, sunglasses  
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8899 clicks; posted to Geek » on 22 Jan 2013 at 6:03 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-22 11:44:26 PM

posicat: Just use a laser pointer, zot it into their bedroom a couple times. If they hurridly hide, they didn't know, if they pick up the action, install a laser rave thingy aimed into their window, and cheer them on.


What happens if they get excited and start chasing it around the room?
 
2013-01-22 11:44:38 PM
I'd just schedule a visit from 3 Day Blinds.

If they don't get the hint I'd send them a wide angle photo and a book on window treatments.
 
2013-01-23 12:09:23 AM

Pincy: OK, true story here. A few summers ago we had renters in the house next to ours. Apparently they liked to have sex at 2-3 o'clock in the morning. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem except that they kept their bedroom window open, because it's summer and it's a little hot at night. Well, so do the rest of us of course. And thus I'm awakened in the middle of the night by this woman screaming in passion at the top of her lungs.

So I don't do anything the first time it happens because everyone gets the benefit of the doubt once. Well, a few nights later the same thing, and this time my wife wakes up too. I told her I was going to clap after they were finished but she wouldn't let me do it, so instead I just closed the window really loudly to try and get the point across. Didn't work. Same thing again a few nights later. So I left a very polite letter on their door asking them to please be considerate of their neighbors and to keep any loud noises quiet after bedtime or close their windows. Still didn't work.

So the next time it happened I woke my wife up and she had apparently had enough of it too, so she finally agreed to let me clap after they were done. To my surprise, out of nowhere, one of my neighbors starts clapping as well. My wife and I were just rolling with tears. We could hear the sex couple yelling at each other (or maybe it was us) but couldn't make out what they were saying. But we did hear their window shut and we never heard them having sex again.

Fortunately they moved out within six months (the landlord said they were deadbeats who weren't paying their rent), so I never had the pleasure of having to meet them face to face, because I'm not sure I could have done it without clapping.


Shortly out of high school, I was living in an apartment building that had 4 apartments, two on bottom floor, two on second floor.  The lady directly above us was frequently QUITE loud.  I'd never met her, but my roommate had.  One day, after she'd had quite a busy night, we were coming home from the grocery store, and she was on her way out, and we ran across her, and my roommate said "Hey, so, I hear you like anal?" ..  she turned bright red, and just kept on going.  Then moved out that weekend.
 
2013-01-23 12:19:32 AM
www.beamq.com

Shine this on them while they're having fun. See if you can get them to chase the dot...
 
2013-01-23 12:35:28 AM
54 comments, not one line about Frostrupping or Inferno?

i48.tinypic.com
/Steve is disappointed.
 
2013-01-23 04:03:21 AM

Pincy: OK, true story here. A few summers ago we had renters in the house next to ours. Apparently they liked to have sex at 2-3 o'clock in the morning. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem except that they kept their bedroom window open, because it's summer and it's a little hot at night. Well, so do the rest of us of course. And thus I'm awakened in the middle of the night by this woman screaming in passion at the top of her lungs.

So I don't do anything the first time it happens because everyone gets the benefit of the doubt once. Well, a few nights later the same thing, and this time my wife wakes up too. I told her I was going to clap after they were finished but she wouldn't let me do it, so instead I just closed the window really loudly to try and get the point across. Didn't work. Same thing again a few nights later. So I left a very polite letter on their door asking them to please be considerate of their neighbors and to keep any loud noises quiet after bedtime or close their windows. Still didn't work.

So the next time it happened I woke my wife up and she had apparently had enough of it too, so she finally agreed to let me clap after they were done. To my surprise, out of nowhere, one of my neighbors starts clapping as well. My wife and I were just rolling with tears. We could hear the sex couple yelling at each other (or maybe it was us) but couldn't make out what they were saying. But we did hear their window shut and we never heard them having sex again.

Fortunately they moved out within six months (the landlord said they were deadbeats who weren't paying their rent), so I never had the pleasure of having to meet them face to face, because I'm not sure I could have done it without clapping.


Thought you were talking about me there for a moment until you mentioned leaving notes on the door. So far no complaints from the neighbors. I feel I can have as much loud rough sex as I want if the college freshman next door can blast out her annoying Radio Disney tunes all day.
 
2013-01-23 06:55:16 AM
You could do regular Friday-night gatherings round at your place with cocktails and canapés, for a fee, obviously. Or go global. A zoom lens focused on their bedroom and you'd be a YouTube sensation - all you would need to do is tweet the location and you'd create an instant hit.

This seems like a bad idea. Last thing I'd want is a big group of men all fapping in my living room every friday. Also, I'm sure this is somehow illegal.
 
2013-01-23 07:42:32 AM
Geek tab?
 
2013-01-23 07:47:26 AM

kelphead: meanwhile next door....

[engineerblogs.org image 300x200]


So obvious and I missed it. Good jorb, Sir
 
2013-01-23 08:06:04 AM

ChrisDe: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 250x346]

I like to watch.


Being There?
 
2013-01-23 08:40:08 AM

Even With A Chainsaw: ChrisDe: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 250x346]

I like to watch.

Being There?


Thanks to the both of you for making me remember that movie, it was awful. Except for the bit where he "attacked" the gang with the remote control. That was golden.
 
2013-01-23 08:53:55 AM
[parabolic reflector xkcd.jpeg]
 
2013-01-23 09:07:34 AM

Pincy: OK, true story here. A few summers ago we had renters in the house next to ours. Apparently they liked to have sex at 2-3 o'clock in the morning. Now, this wouldn't have been a problem except that they kept their bedroom window open, because it's summer and it's a little hot at night. Well, so do the rest of us of course. And thus I'm awakened in the middle of the night by this woman screaming in passion at the top of her lungs.

So I don't do anything the first time it happens because everyone gets the benefit of the doubt once. Well, a few nights later the same thing, and this time my wife wakes up too. I told her I was going to clap after they were finished but she wouldn't let me do it, so instead I just closed the window really loudly to try and get the point across. Didn't work. Same thing again a few nights later. So I left a very polite letter on their door asking them to please be considerate of their neighbors and to keep any loud noises quiet after bedtime or close their windows. Still didn't work.

So the next time it happened I woke my wife up and she had apparently had enough of it too, so she finally agreed to let me clap after they were done. To my surprise, out of nowhere, one of my neighbors starts clapping as well. My wife and I were just rolling with tears. We could hear the sex couple yelling at each other (or maybe it was us) but couldn't make out what they were saying. But we did hear their window shut and we never heard them having sex again.

Fortunately they moved out within six months (the landlord said they were deadbeats who weren't paying their rent), so I never had the pleasure of having to meet them face to face, because I'm not sure I could have done it without clapping.


"We hear you through the wall sometimes." Jamie - "Oh my god." Neighbor - "That's her!"
 
2013-01-23 09:30:41 AM
Back in 2006, I had been forced to move a different apartment because of some nonsense with a local college buying up land to expand. While there, my girlfriend (the current Mrs Bulsd) and I had plenty of fun in this building. I figured that while i was only in this apartment for a month, We'd have our share of fun. One night we rocked the apartment well, to the point where the next day, i had a note from the other tennants in the building, saying that while they all enjoy a good amount of sex, no one wanted to hear us. We kept that noise level up, till we moved out.
 
2013-01-23 09:48:07 AM
This woman, the letter-writer, wouldn't really have a problem with this and certainly wouldn't be writing to an advice columnist about it except for one thing: her husband watches.

That's her real (and only) problem here.
 
2013-01-23 10:06:32 AM
Once at a camping event my wife and I attended, things were so crowded that every square inch of the campground was covered in tents with only a foot or two from one to the other.

Which would have been fine except that our  neighboring tent was occupied by a man, his girlfriend, and a minorly famous porn starlet of the S&M variety, and the the three of them apparently picked that weekend to have  a marathon threesome with all the props and accoutrements.  Which still would have been perfectly fine if we didn't happen to have our young son with us at the campout.  Fortunately they started during the day so we were able to see that he was elsewhere for the worst of it, and we always carried earplugs to help him sleep at night, and insisted he use them on this particular occasion
 
2013-01-23 11:42:32 AM

Rihlsul: 54 comments, not one line about Frostrupping or Inferno?

[i48.tinypic.com image 800x450]
/Steve is disappointed.


*checks phone*
One keeps Frostrup to oneself, otherwise, crazy ex Jane acts on it.

/Would love to meet Shadaim.
 
2013-01-23 11:54:33 AM

bhcompy: I had a similar experience, except the woman loved to shout "CUM INSIDE ME!" at the end. Cops and landlords were called(never by me) and had the same result eventually(loud sex+drunken rages did them in). I don't think my neighbors with young kids were too enthused.. my son just shut his window.


Why the farking shiat do people call cops about these kinds of things?

Puritanical wusses wasting tax payer money.
 
2013-01-23 01:03:04 PM

torusXL: bhcompy: I had a similar experience, except the woman loved to shout "CUM INSIDE ME!" at the end. Cops and landlords were called(never by me) and had the same result eventually(loud sex+drunken rages did them in). I don't think my neighbors with young kids were too enthused.. my son just shut his window.

Why the farking shiat do people call cops about these kinds of things?

Puritanical wusses wasting tax payer money.


Noise ordinances are laws, too.
 
2013-01-23 01:45:10 PM

bhcompy: torusXL: bhcompy: I had a similar experience, except the woman loved to shout "CUM INSIDE ME!" at the end. Cops and landlords were called(never by me) and had the same result eventually(loud sex+drunken rages did them in). I don't think my neighbors with young kids were too enthused.. my son just shut his window.

Why the farking shiat do people call cops about these kinds of things?

Puritanical wusses wasting tax payer money.

Noise ordinances are laws, too.


Shouting something once for a moment isn't even a noise violation. A single shout by a person during climax shouldn't be enough to call cops for a noise ordinance, too. Underlying the person's motivations for calling cops due to a single shout is Puritanical fear of sex.

Complete wusses, like I said.

If the neighbors were shouting for an entire 1-hour marathon of sex, then they're just stupid and faking it and yeah, that'd be a noise violation. But no one has sex like that except maybe porn actors, not to mention the story I quoted was about a single shout.
 
2013-01-23 01:47:08 PM

torusXL: Underlying the person's motivations for calling cops due to a single shout is Puritanical fear of sex.Complete wusses, like I said.


Oh wait, that was your story I was quoting.

Haha, you're a farking pussy.
 
2013-01-23 01:54:08 PM

bhcompy: torusXL: bhcompy: I had a similar experience, except the woman loved to shout "CUM INSIDE ME!" at the end. Cops and landlords were called(never by me) and had the same result eventually(loud sex+drunken rages did them in). I don't think my neighbors with young kids were too enthused.. my son just shut his window.

Why the farking shiat do people call cops about these kinds of things?

Puritanical wusses wasting tax payer money.

Noise ordinances are laws, too.


i call the cops on people who are making loud noise. noise is an invasion. a trespass. it's violating. a person who would choose to be loud is an evil person, a person who hates humanity and wants nothing more than to watch the world burn. loud people really don't deserve to live in society.

in fact, if people in cities were quiet, there would be no crime. See Nobel, I., Effects of Shellfish Mating Clicks on Migratory Aquatic Fowl, University of Catbirdmonkey Press, 1997, pg 345-46. even diseases would lose their communicability. See Vivek, A., Bird Flu Diaspora: A Regimental Approach, Medical Journal of Gothamburger, ed. 17, 2004, pg. 27, 33. See but, people choose to remain in the vile pit of despair we call existence, because they think it's important to talk too loudly, to listen to music too loudly, or slam doors that don't really need to be slammed.
 
2013-01-23 02:04:45 PM

pute kisses like a man: i call the cops on people who are making loud noise. noise is an invasion. a trespass. it's violating. a person who would choose to be loud is an evil person, a person who hates humanity and wants nothing more than to watch the world burn. loud people really don't deserve to live in society.in fact, if people in cities were quiet, there would be no crime. See Nobel, I., Effects of Shellfish Mating Clicks on Migratory Aquatic Fowl, University of Catbirdmonkey Press, 1997, pg 345-46. even diseases would lose their communicability. See Vivek, A., Bird Flu Diaspora: A Regimental Approach, Medical Journal of Gothamburger, ed. 17, 2004, pg. 27, 33. See but, people choose to remain in the vile pit of despair we call existence, because they think it's important to talk too loudly, to listen to music too loudly, or slam doors that don't really need to be slammed.


Hm so....if we burned people at the stake or hanged them for noises, people would stop making noise and all crime would be solved as a side effect?
 
2013-01-23 02:41:08 PM

torusXL: bhcompy: torusXL: bhcompy: I had a similar experience, except the woman loved to shout "CUM INSIDE ME!" at the end. Cops and landlords were called(never by me) and had the same result eventually(loud sex+drunken rages did them in). I don't think my neighbors with young kids were too enthused.. my son just shut his window.

Why the farking shiat do people call cops about these kinds of things?

Puritanical wusses wasting tax payer money.

Noise ordinances are laws, too.

Shouting something once for a moment isn't even a noise violation. A single shout by a person during climax shouldn't be enough to call cops for a noise ordinance, too. Underlying the person's motivations for calling cops due to a single shout is Puritanical fear of sex.

Complete wusses, like I said.

If the neighbors were shouting for an entire 1-hour marathon of sex, then they're just stupid and faking it and yeah, that'd be a noise violation. But no one has sex like that except maybe porn actors, not to mention the story I quoted was about a single shout.


Ya, when it happens once in a blue moon, fine, I'll let it go. When it happens every few days at 2:30 in the morning and keeps waking you, and your other neighbors up then it is their problem not mine.
 
2013-01-23 04:41:35 PM

wxboy: Set up a live webcam?


This.

This webcam would make you famous.
 
2013-01-23 05:23:43 PM
Two words "camera obscura".
 
2013-01-24 10:39:49 AM

torusXL: Why the farking shiat do people call cops about these kinds of things?

Puritanical wusses wasting tax payer money.


torusXL: Shouting something once for a moment isn't even a noise violation. A single shout by a person during climax shouldn't be enough to call cops for a noise ordinance, too. Underlying the person's motivations for calling cops due to a single shout is Puritanical fear of sex.

Complete wusses, like I said.


Between your average prude, and the guy who gets spitting mad at anyone who theoretically, hypothetically, in someone else's story, might want to harsh some third party's sexual buzz for any reason whatsoever, the prude is not the one with the sex hangup.

/the prude is usually more fun in bed, too, if you can get them there
//they've got less to prove
 
2013-01-24 10:49:46 AM
Although the green laser is pretty funny, I would say to just talk to them and ask them to put up curtains. If they do not, call the cops. It isn't funny or sexy to have idiots that need to display their whole life to the public. They can do whatever they want in the privacy of their own home until one of them gets fat and it follows the "ugly then it is sexual harassment" argument ;P And I will follow by wagering that there are way hotter chicks doing way hotter things in way better focus on the internet and that is a way better use of your waste of time :)

/good for goose good for gander
 
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