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(LA Times)   Male nurse in Los Angeles charged with having sex with corpse. Now that's cold   (latimesblogs.latimes.com) divider line 139
    More: Sick, Los Angeles, male nurses, Sherman Oaks, corpses, nanny, occupational safety  
•       •       •

9051 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2013 at 6:14 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



139 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-22 05:53:10 PM  
dettoldisney.files.wordpress.com

Approves.
 
2013-01-22 06:10:46 PM  
And who doesn't want to crack open a cold one after a long day at work?
 
2013-01-22 06:14:47 PM  
Unavailable for comment

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-01-22 06:15:37 PM  
Victimless crime.
 
2013-01-22 06:16:24 PM  
Obamacare!
 
2013-01-22 06:16:39 PM  
Like male nurses didn't already have it rough.
 
2013-01-22 06:17:09 PM  
Was it in front of a daycare?

Was it a dog corpse?
 
2013-01-22 06:17:15 PM  

namegoeshere: And who doesn't want to crack open a cold one after a long day at work?


...and we're done here!
 
2013-01-22 06:17:23 PM  
Plumbing don't work no more
 
2013-01-22 06:17:42 PM  
i.imgur.com

Approves.
 
2013-01-22 06:17:42 PM  
These kind of things deteriorate.
 
2013-01-22 06:18:46 PM  
www.rockpeaks.com

/approves
 
2013-01-22 06:18:55 PM  
Am I in before Aquarium heater
 
2013-01-22 06:19:10 PM  
That is so sick.

A male nurse?
 
2013-01-22 06:19:18 PM  
Last seen in this car?
 
2013-01-22 06:19:52 PM  
Embalming fluid. He was administering it.
 
2013-01-22 06:20:13 PM  

goochmeister42: Unavailable for comment

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 266x400]


Is there a fetish that dude HASN'T tried!?!
 
2013-01-22 06:20:34 PM  
Your mother's deaf!

My mother is dead!

Well, that explains why she didn't move too much.

cdn.hark.com
 
2013-01-22 06:20:55 PM  
In Los Angeles? Gross. Pittsburgh....sure but Los Angeles? Ewww.
 
2013-01-22 06:21:29 PM  
www.poets.org
I's been perpetrated before my sick little dearies..while I pondered weak and weary.
 
2013-01-22 06:22:04 PM  
I submitted this with a much more Alice Coopery headline.

*shakes tiny fist*
 
2013-01-22 06:22:28 PM  
And I don't even care how she died
I like it better if she smells of formaldehyde

www.on-parole.com
 
2013-01-22 06:22:32 PM  
The corpse was just asking for it laying there all naked. The SLUT!!

Maybe this guy is related to the 3 guys that tried to dig up that girl to have sex with her body. Now that was some epic fark threads!
 
2013-01-22 06:22:44 PM  

Moroning: goochmeister42: Unavailable for comment

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 266x400]

Is there a fetish that dude HASN'T tried!?!


Didn't your daddy tell you not to judge a book by its penis?

p.twimg.com
 
2013-01-22 06:22:50 PM  
Maybe he was just taking their temperature ... if you know what I mean.
 
2013-01-22 06:23:40 PM  

Lt. Cheese Weasel: I submitted this with a much more Alice Coopery headline.


I Love The Dead, or Cold Ethyl?
 
2013-01-22 06:23:51 PM  

carnifex2005: [i.imgur.com image 400x265]

Approves.


Yea, I have no complaints about a movie that shows Molly Parker naked.


thefirm.maxupdates.tv

 
2013-01-22 06:24:10 PM  
Mock all you want, but after the Zombie apocalypse he's gonna be getting tail left and right
 
2013-01-22 06:24:36 PM  
The stiffs make him stiff?
 
2013-01-22 06:25:07 PM  
It's not rape if she's dead...
 
2013-01-22 06:25:27 PM  
Sure
Screw all the donkeys you want
But
Screw one corpse...............
 
2013-01-22 06:25:43 PM  
Was he singing Scarlet Begonias?
 
2013-01-22 06:25:48 PM  

WhippingBoy: Victimless crime.


You'll note he was only arrested for a "Health and Safety Code violation".
 
2013-01-22 06:25:57 PM  
Well... was she hot? Or at least warm?

The corpse HAD BEEN a woman right? Otherwise that's an abomination unto the lord.

/What?
 
2013-01-22 06:26:48 PM  
A murse? No wonder, those guys are creep as shiat.
 
2013-01-22 06:27:14 PM  
Were they carrying a Necrocard?

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-22 06:27:16 PM  
Dude, I know you're new, but that's not how you Punch In for work here . . .
 
2013-01-22 06:28:37 PM  
viewaskew.comObscure?
 
2013-01-22 06:29:32 PM  
farm5.staticflickr.com

And throw in a reference to Sexy Losers.
 
2013-01-22 06:30:02 PM  

The Angry Hand of God: Moroning: goochmeister42: Unavailable for comment

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 266x400]

Is there a fetish that dude HASN'T tried!?!

Didn't your daddy tell you not to judge a book by its penis?

[p.twimg.com image 600x400]



Knowing him as Boyd on Justified, that scene really made me laugh ass off.
 
2013-01-22 06:30:21 PM  
I'm going to need to see a picture of the corpse before I pass judgment.
 
2013-01-22 06:30:28 PM  
And if they die during the sex act?
 
2013-01-22 06:31:03 PM  

tshauk: The Angry Hand of God: Moroning: goochmeister42: Unavailable for comment

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 266x400]

Is there a fetish that dude HASN'T tried!?!

Didn't your daddy tell you not to judge a book by its penis?

[p.twimg.com image 600x400]


Knowing him as Boyd on Justified, that scene really made me laugh ass off.


Between that and the Shield. That was the funniest moment I saw on TV all year, I think.
 
2013-01-22 06:31:36 PM  
Was it legitimate rape?
 
2013-01-22 06:32:06 PM  
How did they find out?
 
2013-01-22 06:32:46 PM  
This isn't a repeat from 1988, is it? No? I think Sam Kinison had a few words to say about it.... Link (NSFW language)
 
2013-01-22 06:33:00 PM  

The Angry Hand of God: Your mother's deaf!

My mother is dead!

Well, that explains why she didn't move too much.

[cdn.hark.com image 720x464]


Ahhh, Love that movie, thanks you!
 
2013-01-22 06:33:24 PM  

RandomExcess: Obscure?


www.gifbin.com
 
2013-01-22 06:34:04 PM  

GreenSun: How did they find out?


Sloppy seconds.
 
2013-01-22 06:34:37 PM  

namegoeshere: And who doesn't want to crack open a cold one after a long day at work?


*shuts down thread*
 
2013-01-22 06:34:48 PM  
"Anyone with information is asked to call (877) 527-3247."

Do not call! Its a trap. Apparently just watching is a health and safety code violation.
 
2013-01-22 06:35:10 PM  

RandomExcess: [viewaskew.com image 320x237]Obscure?


Clerks
 
2013-01-22 06:35:54 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

Doesn't see what the big deal is

/make a cannoli out of me
 
2013-01-22 06:37:09 PM  

Nothing To See Here: Was he singing Scarlet Begonias?


/3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-22 06:37:29 PM  

Zul the Magnificent: Lt. Cheese Weasel: I submitted this with a much more Alice Coopery headline.

I Love The Dead, or Cold Ethyl?


cold ethyl
 
2013-01-22 06:39:18 PM  

RandomExcess: [viewaskew.com image 320x237]Obscure?


Not at all, but wrong chick.
 
2013-01-22 06:39:47 PM  

kidsizedcoffin: And if they die during the sex act?


That's fine, as technically they consented to the sex prior to death.
 
2013-01-22 06:40:45 PM  
No means no.
*decompose* means yes?

Eeeeeew. I'm gonna have the sudders for a we- oh, they're gone. Damn internet desensitization.
 
2013-01-22 06:41:01 PM  
Phil Necro, the now retired famous knuckleballer, is working as a male nurse and has been accused of being a necrophilliac? What else is new?
 
2013-01-22 06:41:12 PM  

gameshowhost: namegoeshere: And who doesn't want to crack open a cold one after a long day at work?

*shuts down thread*


Thread? If that had been the headline, shut down the 2013 HOTY contest ...
 
2013-01-22 06:42:02 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-22 06:43:34 PM  

RandomExcess: [viewaskew.com image 320x237]Obscure?


I now think 99% of "Obscure?" posts are trolls.
 
2013-01-22 06:44:19 PM  

purple kool-aid and a jigger of formaldehyde: And I don't even care how she died
I like it better if she smells of formaldehyde

[www.on-parole.com image 600x600]


Came for this, leaving satisfied
 
2013-01-22 06:45:02 PM  

GreenSun: How did they find out?


that's what I'd like to know
 
2013-01-22 06:45:34 PM  
Was it straight or gay necrophilia?

/this matters
//no it doesn't
 
2013-01-22 06:47:17 PM  
Meh.
 
2013-01-22 06:51:07 PM  
Blonde, Brunette ?

/ . . .
 
2013-01-22 06:55:58 PM  
So he got caught sneaking off to have a cold one.
 
2013-01-22 06:57:01 PM  
static.guim.co.uk
Interested.
 
2013-01-22 06:57:29 PM  
Maybe he's just really lazy and shy......
 
2013-01-22 06:59:52 PM  
Wait... that's illegal.


Uh oh.
 
2013-01-22 07:00:14 PM  
why is this a crime? hes not hurting anyone.

where is the fark freedom brigade protesting this? make this legal along with prostitution and drugs because everything should be legal!!!! adults make their own choices!
 
2013-01-22 07:00:50 PM  
Never trust a woman with a pulse.
 
2013-01-22 07:00:52 PM  

iron de havilland: Interested.


Now then, now then
 
2013-01-22 07:00:58 PM  
So a guy likes a british woman..you don't all have to make a fuss abou...oh, it wasn't a metaphor.
 
2013-01-22 07:01:42 PM  
thumbnails.hulu.com
Morgue Worker: I don't judge, you guys. It's cool. I like yogurt up my ass and a Popsicle stick in my mouth.
Charlie: Oh, my God, man! (to Dee) No, you know what? Let's just give this guy his fifty bucks.
Morgue Worker: Whatev, man. You're the one with the hot plate. Weirdo.
Charlie: OK, yeah, I'm the weirdo, says the guy with the yogurt up his ass.
 
2013-01-22 07:05:10 PM  
No Sam Kinison image of his routine laying on the ground, taking one in the ass? I'll just post a picture of myself and a picture of Community Organizer sticking it up mine.
 
2013-01-22 07:08:06 PM  
So they were both stiff.
 
2013-01-22 07:09:40 PM  

GRCooper: gameshowhost: namegoeshere: And who doesn't want to crack open a cold one after a long day at work?

*shuts down thread*

Thread? If that had been the headline, shut down the 2013 HOTY contest ...


An old joke for HOTY? *shrug*
 
2013-01-22 07:11:46 PM  
 
2013-01-22 07:14:59 PM  

swahnhennessy: I'm going to need to see a picture of the corpse before I pass judgment.


somethingsinister.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-22 07:17:57 PM  
She must have been (*puts on sunglasses*) "drop-dead gorgeous". YYYEEEEAAAAHHHH!!1!
 
2013-01-22 07:20:16 PM  

tshauk: The Angry Hand of God: Moroning: goochmeister42: Unavailable for comment

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 266x400]

Is there a fetish that dude HASN'T tried!?!

Didn't your daddy tell you not to judge a book by its penis?

[p.twimg.com image 600x400]


Knowing him as Boyd on Justified, that scene really made me laugh ass off.


Wait, what? (Scrolls back up page),,,,,Holy fark-nuggets! That's funny.
 
2013-01-22 07:21:22 PM  

goochmeister42: Unavailable for comment

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 266x400]


When did this happen? Did I purposely forget this episode?
 
2013-01-22 07:26:49 PM  
dead ladies tell no tales...wear no plaid
 
2013-01-22 07:26:58 PM  

RandomExcess: Obscure?


Came here to post this. Leaving satisfied.

/nothingisobscureonfarketc
 
2013-01-22 07:28:30 PM  
Male nurse in Los Angeles charged with having sex with corpse. Now that's cold

Not necessarily, subby. It depends upon how long it's been dead.
 
2013-01-22 07:41:01 PM  
I saw this on the LA news last night.

The line from the report that had me laughing was, "...And it's particularly troubling, because the victim couldn't fight back".
 
2013-01-22 07:42:17 PM  
Maybe the whore shouldn't have been dressed that way? She was asking for it.
 
2013-01-22 07:43:16 PM  

carnifex2005: [i.imgur.com image 400x265]

Approves.


Based on a real incident. Here's an interview with the person responsible:

Link
 
2013-01-22 07:44:39 PM  

namegoeshere: And who doesn't want to crack open a cold one after a long day at work?


That was my headline... Nurse arrested for having cold one at work.
 
2013-01-22 07:46:34 PM  

Mr.Hawk: namegoeshere: And who doesn't want to crack open a cold one after a long day at work?

That was my headline... Nurse arrested for having cold one at work.


I would have voted it up had I seen it. That there's funny.
 
2013-01-22 07:50:09 PM  
Which hole did he use? Or did he cut a new one?
 
2013-01-22 07:56:37 PM  

GreenSun: How did they find out?


exactly what I was wondering, I'm guessing someone caught him in the act, awkward........
 
2013-01-22 07:58:27 PM  

NotSoFunkyPhantom: carnifex2005: [i.imgur.com image 400x265]

Approves.

Based on a real incident. Here's an interview with the person responsible:

Link


that was uh...enlightening? weird? ghastly? ghoulish? one of these?
 
2013-01-22 07:59:32 PM  
Big deal! I've been having sex with a corpse ever since I married her.
Thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.
 
2013-01-22 08:00:51 PM  

thisiszombocom: why is this a crime? hes not hurting anyone.



Wouldnt you be pissed if the morgue employees were banging your dead mom/sister?

/was about to add your wife, but then I LOLd at the ridiculousness of such a thought
 
2013-01-22 08:08:26 PM  
Yes, that's cold. And maybe heartless.
 
2013-01-22 08:10:35 PM  

iron de havilland: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]
Interested.


Holy shiat, Geddy Lee has really aged in the past year!
 
2013-01-22 08:11:53 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Was it legitimate rape?


She didn't get pregnant, so it MAY be legitimate.
 
2013-01-22 08:20:40 PM  
Howzabout this Headline: Male Nurse Bored Stiff
 
2013-01-22 08:24:33 PM  
Caught in a bad necromance.
 
2013-01-22 08:29:08 PM  

jtown: Sexy Losers


You mean Link?

/Suicide Prevention Week
//I remember when it was the Thin-H-Line
 
2013-01-22 08:33:23 PM  
I guess for this particular nurse, necrophilia is a bone chilling experience!!!!
 
2013-01-22 08:35:18 PM  
Still a better love story than twilight
 
2013-01-22 08:37:43 PM  
I predict that the lawyer will claim that he thought the person was merely unconscious.

/i have no idea which crime gets more time
 
2013-01-22 08:42:18 PM  
home.comcast.net
 
2013-01-22 08:55:13 PM  
img2.etsystatic.com
 
2013-01-22 09:00:11 PM  
Tom Petty made him do it. I wonder if the girl's name was Mary Jane?

I know I wouldn't be able to handle that job, especially if some hot chick shows up dead from an overdose or something. To paraphrase Chris Rock, "I'm not saying he should have banged her, but I understand..."
 
2013-01-22 09:20:57 PM  

Mateorabi: jtown: Sexy Losers

You mean Link?

/Suicide Prevention Week
//I remember when it was the Thin-H-Line


No. I said reference and meant what I said. Only a pervert would link to that sick stuff. :)
 
2013-01-22 09:22:34 PM  

RandomExcess: [viewaskew.com image 320x237]Obscure?


No, but this might be.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-22 09:27:06 PM  

kidsizedcoffin: And if they die during the sex act?


You're allowed to finish, but if you go again you're a perv.
 
2013-01-22 09:35:42 PM  

big pig peaches: kidsizedcoffin: And if they die during the sex act?

You're allowed to finish, but if you go again you're a perv.



You'd better hope he/she had recently emptied their bowels, or else you probably arent going to be able to get that nut.
 
2013-01-22 09:39:39 PM  

D_Evans45: big pig peaches: kidsizedcoffin: And if they die during the sex act?

You're allowed to finish, but if you go again you're a perv.


You'd better hope he/she had recently emptied their bowels, or else you probably arent going to be able to get that nut.


Are you kidding me? You know how many fetish videos there likely are out there specifically for that kind of thing? Well maybe not a combination necrophilia and scat, but you get my point.
 
2013-01-22 09:45:51 PM  

LordOfThePings: RandomExcess: [viewaskew.com image 320x237]Obscure?

No, but this might be.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x313]


Huh. I've never seen Brazil, but I knew the quote. It's sampled in the Cradle of Filth song Lord Abortion.
 
2013-01-22 09:46:38 PM  

D_Evans45: big pig peaches: kidsizedcoffin: And if they die during the sex act?

You're allowed to finish, but if you go again you're a perv.


You'd better hope he/she had recently emptied their bowels, or else you probably arent going to be able to get that nut.


I guess you don't know me very well.
 
2013-01-22 09:49:19 PM  

farkingismybusiness: D_Evans45: big pig peaches: kidsizedcoffin: And if they die during the sex act?

You're allowed to finish, but if you go again you're a perv.


You'd better hope he/she had recently emptied their bowels, or else you probably arent going to be able to get that nut.

I guess you don't know me very well.


Funny, I emptied my bowels today, and there was at least 3 peanuts.
 
2013-01-22 09:51:24 PM  
As long as he didn't eat her first. Now THAT would be sick.
 
2013-01-22 09:57:52 PM  
Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms..

/now that's song writing, kids.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-22 10:17:39 PM  
So.....there's hope for my ex to maybe find a guy willing to schtup her after all?
Good to know!
 
2013-01-22 10:57:19 PM  

Godscrack: [dettoldisney.files.wordpress.com image 399x196]

Approves.


Done on the Boobies. Bravo!
 
2013-01-22 11:08:07 PM  

MylesHeartVodak: Godscrack: [dettoldisney.files.wordpress.com image 399x196]

Approves.

Done on the Boobies. Bravo!


Among others places, I'd wager.

/love me the fark filter
 
2013-01-22 11:25:35 PM  
That's cold...

Ive had women give me BJs with small chips of ice in their mouths. Im assuming its nothing like that. Great BJ though.
 
2013-01-22 11:26:00 PM  
one necrophiliac is talking to the other
"yeah, I used to have a girlfriend, but the rotten coont split on me".

/crack open a cold one
 
2013-01-22 11:58:43 PM  
 
2013-01-23 12:44:07 AM  
English patient??
 
2013-01-23 12:55:33 AM  
Well, at least he wasn't trying to marry her.
 
2013-01-23 01:21:58 AM  
Looking for Sam Kinison reference.

Leaving sad and unhappy

/IT NEVER ENDS, IT NEVER ENDS OH! OHHHHH!!!!!
 
2013-01-23 01:34:55 AM  
Imagine waking up to an ugly woman you'd never otherwise have farked

Now imagine that but with a corpse

Worst post-sex feeling ever
 
2013-01-23 01:45:04 AM  
Oh, fine. And if she'd been alive, you'd be upset he raped her. This poor guy can't catch a break!
 
2013-01-23 02:21:43 AM  
"Sure tasted like shrimp."

Then, there's this: Link
 
2013-01-23 06:53:44 AM  

biggeek: Cue Sam Kineson


Dammit...first thing I thought of.

"Give me the story!"
 
2013-01-23 07:44:14 AM  
content.internetvideoarchive.com
/interested
//can't possibly be obscure
 
2013-01-23 08:43:37 AM  

groppet: The corpse was just asking for it laying there all naked. The SLUT!!

Maybe this guy is related to the 3 guys that tried to dig up that girl to have sex with her body. Now that was some epic fark threads!


Ah yes, that was the one that finally broke me as a human being
/good times!
 
2013-01-23 09:03:38 AM  
Obligatory:

Link
 
2013-01-23 11:00:37 AM  

farkingismybusiness: LordOfThePings: RandomExcess: [viewaskew.com image 320x237]Obscure?

No, but this might be.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x313]

Huh. I've never seen Brazil, but I knew the quote. It's sampled in the Cradle of Filth song Lord Abortion.


img855.imageshack.us

Cradle of Filth are actually one of the best contemporary dark-wave bands in the world.
 
2013-01-23 12:58:16 PM  
A kid is doing his summer job at the mortuary. He comes into the boss's office and tells him the latest female corpse has a shrimp sticking out her pooner. The old guy, disbelieving, goes in to check. He looks and says, "You idiot, that's her clitoris. It's just kinda big." The kid replies, "Oh! Well, it tasted like a shrimp."
 
2013-01-23 04:48:12 PM  
Die-Anne?


horrornews.net
/super obscure?
 
2013-01-23 05:19:10 PM  

LordOfThePings: RandomExcess: [viewaskew.com image 320x237]Obscure?

No, but this might be.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x313]


HA! I watched that for the first time Monday night.
 
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