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(WTSP)   Saddest. First sentence. Ever   (wtsp.com) divider line 191
    More: Florida  
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47869 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jan 2013 at 4:19 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-22 02:10:55 PM  
Burning cheese trifecta now in play
 
2013-01-22 02:55:28 PM  
He's not the only one celebrating his birthday alone today.
 
2013-01-23 12:14:40 PM  
there but for a social safety net go i
 
2013-01-23 12:24:08 PM  
Poor guy. I'm sending him a card.
 
2013-01-23 03:01:15 PM  
I represent that sentence. :-(
 
2013-01-23 03:08:21 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

i think if he was celebrating his birthday with a bowl of corn flakes and set that on fire, it might have been sadder.
 
2013-01-23 03:17:07 PM  
That shiat is like the first few minutes of Up.
 
2013-01-23 03:24:55 PM  

RexTalionis: He's not the only one celebrating his birthday alone today.


Happy Birthday!!

loser
 
2013-01-23 03:31:53 PM  
From the frying pan to the fire. Literally.
 
2013-01-23 03:32:17 PM  
I hope he was listening to Samuel Barber's "Adagio for Strings" or watching the end of "Old Yeller" while he was cooking his feast.
 
2013-01-23 03:33:40 PM  

RexTalionis: He's not the only one celebrating his birthday alone today.


Do you mean you? Because if you do, let me go ahead and wish you a happy birthday. May you find a copy of Fantastic Four #2 hidden inside a stack of Life Magazine or something equally cool today.
 
2013-01-23 03:43:40 PM  

RexTalionis: He's not the only one celebrating his birthday alone today.


Many happy returns of the day, amigo!
 
2013-01-23 03:45:53 PM  
FTFA: "Authorities say a man celebrating his 76th birthday alone was rescued from his apartment after a pan of macaroni and cheese caught fire on his stove."

No, that is not even remotely the saddest first sentence ever. For example, I'm quite sure this has happened to people who were not rescued from the subsequent fire.
 
2013-01-23 03:46:52 PM  

RexTalionis: He's not the only one celebrating his birthday alone today.


Enjoy.

i171.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-23 03:50:08 PM  
So "feel asleep" is what we are now calling "passed out while trying to satify the munchies"?  Most regular people don't sleep while being being drenched with water.
 
2013-01-23 03:56:27 PM  
You may also like...

Prostitute Roundup
 I don't know, it sounds difficult... Maybe let the poor guy in the article try it?
 
2013-01-23 04:01:34 PM  
Actually subby, this is

Not to mention the embarrassment of being named.
 
2013-01-23 04:09:16 PM  

Paris1127: You may also like...

Prostitute Roundup
 I don't know, it sounds difficult... Maybe let the poor guy in the article try it?


I knew it was a tranny in there somewhere
i.imgur.com
"Claude Eugene Riley III. Charges: Solicit prostitution - Everything for $240; Possession of a controlled substance without a prescription (2 counts); DWLSR. Summary: Single - Employed as a salesperson MAC Cosmetics; Suspended license"
Sad thing is that this person had a job and is probably hooking to to pay for some new tits
 
2013-01-23 04:20:59 PM  

minoridiot: So "feel asleep" is what we are now calling "passed out while trying to satify the munchies"?  Most regular people don't sleep while being being drenched with water.


www.texturemonkey.com
 
2013-01-23 04:21:46 PM  
I couldn't help but laugh. Not at the guy or his sad life, but at the combination of the headline and the referenced sentence...
 
2013-01-23 04:23:53 PM  
Should've used the microwave.
 
2013-01-23 04:23:58 PM  

ITGreen: That shiat is like the first few minutes of Up.


So right. I loved that movie, but the first couple minutes make me want to get drunk.
 
2013-01-23 04:24:15 PM  
Get off my mac&cheese.
craig.purplestateofmind.com
 
2013-01-23 04:24:20 PM  
Well sad, but at least he's alive.

Now maybe he'll visit his local senior center more often.
 
2013-01-23 04:24:25 PM  

SlothB77: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 300x228]

i think if he was celebrating his birthday with a bowl of corn flakes and set that on fire, it might have been sadder.


Came for that, leaving happy.
 
2013-01-23 04:24:42 PM  
I ignore my birthday. I tell friends and family to ignore as well. My theory is, if you ignore birthdays, they don't happen, thus I don't age.

Working so far....

/definitely will be alone when/if I hit 76.
 
2013-01-23 04:24:47 PM  

AirForceVet: I represent that sentence. :-(


Happy Birthday from an Air Force Brat. :)
 
2013-01-23 04:25:14 PM  
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-23 04:26:20 PM  
He says his Army training kicked in as he saw smoke billowing from the stove

I've never been in the Army.  But I'm pretty sure I would have put out the fire too.  Do I get a medal for valor?

/This will be me when I'm 76
//Except it will be a frozen pizza
 
2013-01-23 04:26:23 PM  
Authorities say a man celebrating his 76th birthday alone was rescued from his apartment after a pan of macaroni and cheese caught fire on his stove.


Damn! This dude knows how to PARTY!
 
2013-01-23 04:26:45 PM  
There are some things I won't try to prepare when super drunk. Just go with the chef-boy-r-d, cold right out of the can. No fuss no muss.
 
2013-01-23 04:26:57 PM  
media.rofls.com
 
2013-01-23 04:27:14 PM  
All I ever ask for my birthday is to have one day to myself where everyone leaves me the fark alone. I never get it. This guy is living my dream.

/one farking day a year
//is that too much to ask?
 
2013-01-23 04:27:38 PM  
Maybe he should of invested in a microwave?
 
2013-01-23 04:29:05 PM  

abhorrent1: All I ever ask for my birthday is to have one day to myself where everyone leaves me the fark alone. I never get it. This guy is living my dream.

/one farking day a year
//is that too much to ask?


this
 
2013-01-23 04:30:32 PM  

fruitloop: RexTalionis: He's not the only one celebrating his birthday alone today.

Enjoy.

[i171.photobucket.com image 223x200]


I worked with a girl who forgot to add water to one of those....she almost started the microwave on fire
 
2013-01-23 04:30:52 PM  
I don't see what's sad about mac and cheese.
 
2013-01-23 04:31:12 PM  

FarkingReading: [encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 240x210]


Took me too long to find, but I can't help myself but to post this:
i.imgur.com
cdn2-b.examiner.com
 
2013-01-23 04:31:53 PM  

Pilikia: abhorrent1: All I ever ask for my birthday is to have one day to myself where everyone leaves me the fark alone. I never get it. This guy is living my dream.

/one farking day a year
//is that too much to ask?

this


thought I was the only one
 
2013-01-23 04:33:01 PM  
Nearly every word on that entire page is about sadness and decay.
 
2013-01-23 04:33:36 PM  
It's only the 3rd saddest thing I've heard today.
 
2013-01-23 04:33:40 PM  
Or happiest, you know, if you're a loner. like abhorrent1, Pilikia, or thecpt.
 
2013-01-23 04:33:59 PM  

Chinchillazilla: I don't see what's sad about mac and cheese.


it burned up.
 
2013-01-23 04:34:13 PM  

LeroyBourne: There are some things I won't try to prepare when super drunk. Just go with the chef-boy-r-d, cold right out of the can. No fuss no muss.


interior semiotics much?
 
2013-01-23 04:35:24 PM  
I will be celebrating my birthday alone tomorrow and no macaroni for me.
 
2013-01-23 04:35:26 PM  
That will never happen to me............I know how to cook.
 
2013-01-23 04:35:28 PM  
Lot of that going around

/me too
 
2013-01-23 04:35:49 PM  

themasterdebater: Maybe he should of invested in a microwave?



I know that "should've" sounds like "should of", but the contraction is short for "should have".

Please use words responsibly.
 
2013-01-23 04:36:37 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Paris1127: You may also like...

Prostitute Roundup

 I don't know, it sounds difficult... Maybe let the poor guy in the article try it?

I knew it was a tranny in there somewhere
[i.imgur.com image 640x360]
"Claude Eugene Riley III. Charges: Solicit prostitution - Everything for $240; Possession of a controlled substance without a prescription (2 counts); DWLSR. Summary: Single - Employed as a salesperson MAC Cosmetics; Suspended license"
Sad thing is that this person had a job and is probably hooking to to pay for some new tits


Oh Internet you know us so well. Thanks Google Tracking. If only you also knew I liked my slideshows on deslide.clusterfake.

Wait, they list what they solicited and how much they paid?
Interesting some guys paid $35 for oral and some $80.
Then there is Image #1: Christina Clark. Charges: Solicit prostitution - oral sex for $300; Crap, I might blow someone for $300.
 
2013-01-23 04:36:52 PM  

dv-ous: LeroyBourne: There are some things I won't try to prepare when super drunk. Just go with the chef-boy-r-d, cold right out of the can. No fuss no muss.

interior semiotics much?


ewwww, I haven't thought about that in a long time.
 
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