FARK.com: (7549826) How exactly does one get into a food fight in the *frozen food* section? Answer: Walmart, of course

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(Some Guy)		How exactly does one get into a food fight in the frozen food section? Answer: Walmart, of course (popcrush1057.com)		55
		More: Amusing, food fights, Wal-Mart, Hot Pockets

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5213 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2013 at 3:47 PM | Favorite | share:

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alfuso		2013-01-22 03:49:15 PM

Umm, ow?

Oznog		2013-01-22 03:49:34 PM

First rule, never talk about this.

Solid State Vittles		2013-01-22 03:52:12 PM

One of the few departments where they could be sure the merchandise wouldn't break.

Gosling		2013-01-22 03:53:27 PM

Solid State Vittles: One of the few departments where they could be sure the merchandise wouldn't break.

Oh, yes, we're worried about the MERCHANDISE bre--- well, yeah, I guess that's about right.

Random Anonymous Blackmail		2013-01-22 03:53:42 PM

FTFA: de-LISH

Really? And you are a paid journalist.

universebetween		2013-01-22 03:53:50 PM

you've never actually been to wal-mart have you? this crap happens ALL THE TIME

oldfarthenry		2013-01-22 03:54:18 PM

Oh the humanity!

Cerebral Knievel		2013-01-22 03:57:42 PM

universebetween: you've never actually been to wal-mart have you? this crap happens ALL THE TIME

these are the same people who patron Chuck E Cheese, so, it makes sense.

also, the supermarket scene in hot fuzz is the greatest food fight scene of all time, OF ALL TIME!!

Whatthefark		2013-01-22 04:00:09 PM

One of them must have pissed off the Rattlesnake...

i48.tinypic.com

blatz514		2013-01-22 04:00:23 PM

and...

Who the hell wrote that article....

oh.

wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net

bikerbob59		2013-01-22 04:01:37 PM

Random Anonymous Blackmail: FTFA: de-LISH

Really? And you are a paid journalist.

Well, to be fair, it does seem to be from a radio station web site so 'journalist' might be to professional of a word.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-01-22 04:01:44 PM

oldfarthenry: humanity

i.chzbgr.com

Osomatic		2013-01-22 04:02:50 PM

Frozen pizzas make excellent frisbees, you can really whip 'em if you put your mind to it. Most of the toppings will fly off like shrapnel.

Not that I would have any firsthand knowledge, and if my former employer (a producer of frozen pizzas) ever asks, I will entirely deny any such thing ever happened and that it was all in my imagination and in no way was any stock destroyed.

Matthew Keene		2013-01-22 04:04:42 PM

Osomatic: Frozen pizzas make excellent frisbees, you can really whip 'em if you put your mind to it. Most of the toppings will fly off like shrapnel.
Not that I would have any firsthand knowledge, and if my former employer (a producer of frozen pizzas) ever asks, I will entirely deny any such thing ever happened and that it was all in my imagination and in no way was any stock destroyed.

Perchance Tony's Pizza in Salina, Kansas. I had a girl friend that worked there in the 80's when I worked at KSAL.

universebetween		2013-01-22 04:05:42 PM

Osomatic: Frozen pizzas make excellent frisbees, you can really whip 'em if you put your mind to it. Most of the toppings will fly off like shrapnel.
Not that I would have any firsthand knowledge, and if my former employer (a producer of frozen pizzas) ever asks, I will entirely deny any such thing ever happened and that it was all in my imagination and in no way was any stock destroyed.

we used to take the metal tops on the juice concentrate containers and use shears to cut out throwing stars. they hurt like a biatch

Arkanaut		2013-01-22 04:08:18 PM

I'm fairly sure this can also happen in a 7-11.

ChipNASA		2013-01-22 04:09:55 PM

I used to work grocery at an unnamed Wash DC/MD/VA grocer for about 5 years, and frozen food.
This is not us, but we *TOTALLY* did this in the middle of the night when no one was around.

FROZEN. TURKEY. BOWLING!!!!
/pops

oldfarthenry		2013-01-22 04:11:34 PM

If this was Whole Foods, the misunderstanding would have been settled with a healing circle and some drumming.

Despair of the Cheese		2013-01-22 04:14:50 PM

I have been so tempted to do this when some idiot is standing diagonally in the precise middle of the aisle like a drunk cow trying to make up their minds between extra virgin olive oil or extra extra virgin olive oil. Maybe I should just grab a few cans of frozen juice at the beginning of the shopping trip just in case I get the urge.

/10 points for soccer moms, 20 points for hipsters

Jument		2013-01-22 04:18:33 PM

If they were hardcore they'd get into a food fight in the canned goods aisle.

Matthew Keene		2013-01-22 04:19:28 PM

The one thing I can't stand is the sound of someone ratting around through bagged items, looking for some buried treasure. I want to ram a can of beans down their farking throat.

bikerbob59		2013-01-22 04:23:59 PM

universebetween: Osomatic: Frozen pizzas make excellent frisbees, you can really whip 'em if you put your mind to it. Most of the toppings will fly off like shrapnel.
Not that I would have any firsthand knowledge, and if my former employer (a producer of frozen pizzas) ever asks, I will entirely deny any such thing ever happened and that it was all in my imagination and in no way was any stock destroyed.

we used to take the metal tops on the juice concentrate containers and use shears to cut out throwing stars. they hurt like a biatch

We used to have nail gun fights....

TWX		2013-01-22 04:26:46 PM

universebetween: you've never actually been to wal-mart have you? this crap happens ALL THE TIME

We used to go turkey bowling at 2am... as long as we picked up after ourselves the rank-and-file employees didn't really care.

/though hockey with those steak 'medallions' was still frowned upon

Peepeye		2013-01-22 04:29:45 PM

Chucking a gallon of frozen sherbert at someone's head sounds fun to me.

lokis_mentor		2013-01-22 04:31:26 PM

The birdseye frozen rectangles of spinach hurt like a biatch when you get bashed over the head with them.

KrispyKritter		2013-01-22 04:31:33 PM

dooshbags that leave their cart smack dab in the middle of the aisle, totally oblivious to the other 238 shoppers mulling about them. these are not children who don't know better, these are adults who do this every time they shop. they deserve to have canned and or frozen goods lobbed at them.

don't understand		2013-01-22 04:31:36 PM

FTFA:
Many of us have seen the pictures from People of Walmart and chuckled loudly over the years. But who would of thought that an actual brawl would of broken out in in the frozen food aisle at the Walmart in Amsterdam, NY.

Yay, journalism!

nmrsnr		2013-01-22 04:35:55 PM

Walmart, last I checked, was a "where" not a "how." I'm still unsure how a Walmart gets me into a food fight in a frozen food section.

The Real Weedlord Bonerhitler		2013-01-22 04:36:10 PM

Who green lights this shiat?

spentmiles		2013-01-22 04:38:50 PM

When I worked as a night stocker at Ralph's, we'd defrost a turkey and gang bang it. The new guys were always freaked to walk into the back to see five totally naked lard asses farking the living shiat out of a pale skinned turkey. It was sort of an "I'm in" or "I'm out" situation.

Aipaloovik		2013-01-22 04:42:17 PM

So when...I mean if...yes if I beat someone to death with a 25lb frozen turkey, I can just call it a "food fight"?

Osomatic		2013-01-22 04:43:08 PM

Matthew Keene: Osomatic: Frozen pizzas make excellent frisbees, you can really whip 'em if you put your mind to it. Most of the toppings will fly off like shrapnel.
Not that I would have any firsthand knowledge, and if my former employer (a producer of frozen pizzas) ever asks, I will entirely deny any such thing ever happened and that it was all in my imagination and in no way was any stock destroyed.

Perchance Tony's Pizza in Salina, Kansas. I had a girl friend that worked there in the 80's when I worked at KSAL.

Nope. Never been to Salina. This was a place called K.T.'s Kitchens, in Southern California. The pizza-throwing incident happened the weekend we moved the factory, in... um... 1996? '97? That was a crazy weekend for many, many reasons.

Osomatic		2013-01-22 04:45:28 PM

spentmiles: When I worked as a night stocker at Ralph's, we'd defrost a turkey and gang bang it. The new guys were always freaked to walk into the back to see five totally naked lard asses farking the living shiat out of a pale skinned turkey. It was sort of an "I'm in" or "I'm out" situation.

So Christopher Moore wasn't kidding. Supermarket night stockers really are completely deranged party animals.

Strobeguy		2013-01-22 04:45:33 PM

spentmiles: When I worked as a night stocker at Ralph's, we'd defrost a turkey and gang bang it. The new guys were always freaked to walk into the back to see five totally naked lard asses farking the living shiat out of a pale skinned turkey. It was sort of an "I'm in" or "I'm out" situation.

Il bet, but I had a 15yr old girlfriend that could suck a golf ball thru a garden hose so I never partook.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-01-22 04:48:48 PM

don't understand: FTFA:
Many of us have seen the pictures from People of Walmart and chuckled loudly over the years. But who would of thought that an actual brawl would of broken out in in the frozen food aisle at the Walmart in Amsterdam, NY.

Yay, journalism!

nmrsnr: Walmart, last I checked, was a "where" not a "how." I'm still unsure how a Walmart gets me into a food fight in a frozen food section.

208.116.9.205

Matthew Keene		2013-01-22 04:50:37 PM

spentmiles: When I worked as a night stocker at Ralph's, we'd defrost a turkey and gang bang it. The new guys were always freaked to walk into the back to see five totally naked lard asses farking the living shiat out of a pale skinned turkey. It was sort of an "I'm in" or "I'm out" situation.

Finish the story now. About how it was restocked and sold to some unsuspecting family. Self basting and all that.

FTDA		2013-01-22 04:53:56 PM

Cerebral Knievel: universebetween: you've never actually been to wal-mart have you? this crap happens ALL THE TIME

these are the same people who patron Chuck E Cheese, so, it makes sense.

also, the supermarket scene in hot fuzz is the greatest food fight scene of all time, OF ALL TIME!!

1.bp.blogspot.com

FTDA		2013-01-22 04:55:05 PM

Damnit, I should have read through the comments. Blatz514 beat me to it!

FTDA		2013-01-22 04:58:19 PM

Jument: If they were hardcore they'd get into a food fight in the canned goods aisle.

You go for the Campbells, I'll hit 'em with the Vienna Sausages.

Fark Rye For Many Whores		2013-01-22 05:01:32 PM

spentmiles: When I worked as a night stocker at Ralph's, we'd defrost a turkey and gang bang it. The new guys were always freaked to walk into the back to see five totally nakedwarning: spentmileslike typing detected

Kevin72		2013-01-22 05:01:35 PM

I was expecting it to be a Florida story. But the real Florida story today is the one about the lady arrested 22 years later for stealing a package of cigaretttes.

blatz514		2013-01-22 05:05:09 PM

FTDA: Damnit, I should have read through the comments. Blatz514 beat me to it!

It's all good. I can't believe it took 10 posts.

Cerebral Knievel		2013-01-22 05:12:47 PM

FTDA: Cerebral Knievel: universebetween: you've never actually been to wal-mart have you? this crap happens ALL THE TIME

these are the same people who patron Chuck E Cheese, so, it makes sense.

also, the supermarket scene in hot fuzz is the greatest food fight scene of all time, OF ALL TIME!!

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 281x224]

I've taken Animal House in consideration, and while it is legendary, in the pantheon of food fight scenes, it's pretty much just Mr. Bulshie popping up, yelling FOOD FIGHT! and people start throwing shiat each other and CUT SCENE!

the Hot Fuzz scene in the grocery store is a life and death struggle. including the shopping cart battering ram. there really is no comparison at that point.

Bathia_Mapes		2013-01-22 05:14:51 PM

Gilligann		2013-01-22 05:21:50 PM

The police did not disclose what the rumble was about

My guess is one of the people was browsing with the door open, causing the glass to fog up.

I hate it when people do that. Find what you want before opening the door.

Lev_Astov		2013-01-22 05:23:01 PM

don't understand: FTFA:
Many of us have seen the pictures from People of Walmart and chuckled loudly over the years. But who would of thought that an actual brawl would of broken out in in the frozen food aisle at the Walmart in Amsterdam, NY.

Yay, journalism!

Came here to point this out. I'm no grammar nazi, but I died a little inside when that second "would of" came up in the same sentence.

Bawdy George		2013-01-22 05:56:06 PM

Bathia_Mapes: No, the greatest food fight scene would be from The Great Race.

Agreed! Love that movie. Also has a great bar fight.

/Welcome to Borracho

Cerebral Knievel		2013-01-22 05:57:23 PM

Bathia_Mapes: Cerebral Knievel: universebetween: you've never actually been to wal-mart have you? this crap happens ALL THE TIME

these are the same people who patron Chuck E Cheese, so, it makes sense.

also, the supermarket scene in hot fuzz is the greatest food fight scene of all time, OF ALL TIME!!

No, the greatest food fight scene would be from The Great Race.

The ones in "Animal House" and "Blazing Saddles" are pretty good too.

an awesome movie, and a great pie fight..
BUT

just a pie fight.. perhaps, the best pie fight of all time, OF ALL TIME!!!

but not a FOOD fight..

not saying that pie isn't food.. but it's only one part of the food pyramid. for a proper food fight you need all types of food, not just pastry. a food fight, is a food fight, and while there might be pie involved in a food fight, if it just pie, then it's a pie fight. and not a food fight.

we must keep these tropes PURE!. .

Harvey Manfrenjensenjen		2013-01-22 06:11:13 PM

oldfarthenry: If this was Whole Foods, the misunderstanding would have been settled with a healing circle and some drumming.

If it were Whole Foods it would be...

www.werealotlikeyou.com

...getting into a knock-down drag-out catfight with...

www.werealotlikeyou.com

...over the last half-dozen organic eggs.

dickfreckle		2013-01-22 07:05:03 PM

ChipNASA: I used to work grocery at an unnamed Wash DC/MD/VA grocer for about 5 years, and frozen food.
This is not us, but we *TOTALLY* did this in the middle of the night when no one was around.

FROZEN. TURKEY. BOWLING!!!!
/pops

I worked at a grocery store when I was a kid, and we did the same things. Seems pretty universal that bored people will find a way to entertain themselves with whatever means are at their disposal.

We always cleaned up, though. That was the bummer part, because we made a huge mess.

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