If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(STV.tv)   Healer blesses woman's bag full of valuables and cash, then tells her not to open the bag for two weeks for blessing to work. Valuables miraculously transformed into what non-believers call 'junk.'   (local.stv.tv) divider line 78
    More: Dumbass, energy medicine, skeptics, Lothian and Borders Police  
•       •       •

8950 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2013 at 1:35 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-01-22 11:57:30 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-22 12:10:29 PM
Never give a sucker an even break.
 
2013-01-22 01:39:38 PM
Ha! People are gullible as shiat.

It would be a weird world if it were full of people who didn't buy other people's bunk.
 
2013-01-22 01:40:44 PM

simplicimus: Never give a sucker an even break.


The words of St. Francis of Assisi remain true today.
 
2013-01-22 01:40:47 PM
The spirits have spoken.
 
2013-01-22 01:41:56 PM
Given that the victim went to some guy to get a bag of valuables blessed, I would rather see the "Amusing" tag.
 
2013-01-22 01:43:36 PM
I thought Asians were suppose to be smart.
 
2013-01-22 01:48:25 PM
farm5.static.flickr.com
 
2013-01-22 01:49:32 PM
img266.imageshack.us

Approves.
 
2013-01-22 01:50:20 PM
"She has subsequently been robbed of several thousand pounds of cash and jewellery..."

I thoughts Buddhists were supposed to live free of the desire for objects or something like that. Did she hire a semi to deliver all her cash and jewellery to be blessed? I'm pretty sure the load limit in my car isn't much more than 800 pounds.
 
2013-01-22 01:52:10 PM
userserve-ak.last.fm
Can't fix stupid.
 
2013-01-22 01:53:48 PM

SpaceBison: [farm5.static.flickr.com image 500x334]


Wow, Pastor Mullet has his own mystical back story:

Pastor Danny Davis has spent 33 years of his life traveling the world preaching the gospel of healing, salvation, and miracles through the all powerful name of Jesus Christ. He received his calling in a most unusual way. His mother, Charlotte, is an intercessory -prayer-warrior. In the fall of 1954 she was attending a little Pentecostal Church called Star of Hope. The church was in the middle of a building-program. Heavy with child she went to bed one night sad because she had no money to sow a seed . Even the milk man that delivered milk to the front porch had stopped delivery due to non -payment. In her heart she longed to do something for the gospel. As she laid down one afternoon she received a vision of a baby boy sitting under a bright ray of light. The same evening she received a visitation from the Lord. She saw the name DANIEL written on the wall. The Lord spoke to her that she would have a "manchild" and that he would preach the judgements of God to His people. His name was to be Daniel. A few months later she gave birth to a son. Like Samuel of old....Danny Davis was a seed-faith gift given to God before birth.
 
2013-01-22 01:55:44 PM
2nd oldest scam in the book.

/1st place goes to an actual book. A "Good Book", you might say.
 
2013-01-22 01:59:38 PM
Three Chinese women and a Buddhist met up in Scotland. That's when things got real.
 
2013-01-22 02:00:23 PM
Anyone with information is asked to contact Lothian and Borders Police on 0131 311 3131 or through Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

That's totally a fake number.
 
2013-01-22 02:03:00 PM

blatz514: Anyone with information is asked to contact Lothian and Borders Police on 0131 311 3131 or through Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

That's totally a fake number.


Not too far off:
www.thesmokingjacket.com
 
2013-01-22 02:06:47 PM
The healer put their junk in the bag, then the woman opened the bag and saw their junk?
 
2013-01-22 02:07:21 PM
Dragnet covered this one around 1968.

This is what happens when people fail to watch the classics.
 
2013-01-22 02:08:08 PM
that's pretty damn funny

/know a few people this would work on
 
2013-01-22 02:08:51 PM
I got a magic rock to sell you that keeps tigers away.
 
2013-01-22 02:09:02 PM
This, in a nutshell, is what religion is all about.
 
2013-01-22 02:09:11 PM

Bpjosep: "She has subsequently been robbed of several thousand pounds of cash and jewellery..."

I thoughts Buddhists were supposed to live free of the desire for objects or something like that. Did she hire a semi to deliver all her cash and jewellery to be blessed? I'm pretty sure the load limit in my car isn't much more than 800 pounds.


Not sure if trolling or just an idiot...
 
2013-01-22 02:09:32 PM

wildcardjack: Dragnet covered this one around 1968.

This is what happens when people fail to watch the classics.


Came here for this.

/watched that none the other day
 
2013-01-22 02:10:23 PM
"The bag was taken and "blessed" and the woman was told not to open the bag for a few weeks to allow the charm to work. However, she opened the bag a few days later and found her items had been swapped for junk."

She didn't wait long enough and suffered the consequences.
 
2013-01-22 02:13:24 PM

dwade: I thought Asians were suppose to be smart.


1. There are at least two kinds of smart: Book Smart and Street Smart.
2. That's racist.
 
2013-01-22 02:13:27 PM
Ugh, one of the oldest tricks in the book and people are still falling for it. Tell you what, for $19.95, buy my book of the "Top 25 Oldest Tricks in the Book". It details the top 25 such scams and you can read all about them to ensure you never fall for them.

/some pages intentionally left blank
//coming next week - my "top 26 oldest tricks in the book" book
 
2013-01-22 02:13:43 PM
Heh, when I read the headline I thought it said "vegetables", not "valuables." I thought, well, yeah, that's what happens if you leave a bunch of vegetables in a bag for two weeks. It turns into a bag full of gross.

Valuables. That makes more sense, yeah.
 
2013-01-22 02:16:47 PM

jack21221: Bpjosep: "She has subsequently been robbed of several thousand pounds of cash and jewellery..."

I thoughts Buddhists were supposed to live free of the desire for objects or something like that. Did she hire a semi to deliver all her cash and jewellery to be blessed? I'm pretty sure the load limit in my car isn't much more than 800 pounds.

Not sure if trolling or just an idiot...


It's a joke. He's making a jest out of conflating British currency for a measure of weight.

lighten up. It may not be funny, but that doesn't mean you have to interpret it literally.
 
2013-01-22 02:17:19 PM
You trust a Scottish Buddhist, you get what you get... Kinda like an Italian Scientologist, or a Libyan Catholic... WTF were ya thinking?
 
2013-01-22 02:18:04 PM

blatz514: Anyone with information is asked to contact Lothian and Borders Police on 0131 311 3131 or through Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

That's totally a fake number.


Everyone knows it's 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3
 
2013-01-22 02:19:49 PM
Scotland? There can be only one.
 
2013-01-22 02:20:41 PM

FunkyBlue: blatz514: Anyone with information is asked to contact Lothian and Borders Police on 0131 311 3131 or through Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111.

That's totally a fake number.

Everyone knows it's 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3


That's for emergencies only.
 
2013-01-22 02:22:10 PM

cgraves67: jack21221: Bpjosep: "She has subsequently been robbed of several thousand pounds of cash and jewellery..."

I thoughts Buddhists were supposed to live free of the desire for objects or something like that. Did she hire a semi to deliver all her cash and jewellery to be blessed? I'm pretty sure the load limit in my car isn't much more than 800 pounds.

Not sure if trolling or just an idiot...

It's a joke. He's making a jest out of conflating British currency for a measure of weight.

lighten up. It may not be funny, but that doesn't mean you have to interpret it literally.


I acknowledged that he might have been conflating the two on purpose. Did you not read?
 
2013-01-22 02:22:22 PM
Old, OLD gypsy con.  Funnny to see Gadje have adopted it as there own now.
 
2013-01-22 02:22:35 PM
Here you go. I believe that's all in order.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-22 02:24:46 PM

Bpjosep: "She has subsequently been robbed of several thousand pounds of cash and jewellery..."

I thoughts Buddhists were supposed to live free of the desire for objects or something like that. Did she hire a semi to deliver all her cash and jewellery to be blessed? I'm pretty sure the load limit in my car isn't much more than 800 pounds.


We should rename our dollar to "kilogram" and see how much the eurotrash likes to read our articles.
 
2013-01-22 02:24:54 PM

Tenatra: "The bag was taken and "blessed" and the woman was told not to open the bag for a few weeks to allow the charm to work. However, she opened the bag a few days later and found her items had been swapped for junk."

She didn't wait long enough and suffered the consequences.


Came to say this! She blew it when she did not wait the required 2 weeks. Its Entirely.Her.Fault.

/case closed
//slashies
 
2013-01-22 02:26:25 PM

HotWingConspiracy: SpaceBison: [farm5.static.flickr.com image 500x334]

Wow, Pastor Mullet has his own mystical back story:

Pastor Danny Davis has spent 33 years of his life traveling the world preaching the gospel of healing, salvation, and miracles through the all powerful name of Jesus Christ. He received his calling in a most unusual way. His mother, Charlotte, is an intercessory -prayer-warrior. In the fall of 1954 she was attending a little Pentecostal Church called Star of Hope. The church was in the middle of a building-program. Heavy with child she went to bed one night sad because she had no money to sow a seed . Even the milk man that delivered milk to the front porch had stopped delivery due to non -payment. In her heart she longed to do something for the gospel. As she laid down one afternoon she received a vision of a baby boy sitting under a bright ray of light. The same evening she received a visitation from the Lord. She saw the name DANIEL written on the wall. The Lord spoke to her that she would have a "manchild" and that he would preach the judgements of God to His people. His name was to be Daniel. A few months later she gave birth to a son. Like Samuel of old....Danny Davis was a seed-faith gift given to God before birth.


Wow.

/What the man child?
//What the seed-faith gift?!?
 
2013-01-22 02:31:38 PM

umad: Bpjosep: "She has subsequently been robbed of several thousand pounds of cash and jewellery..."

I thoughts Buddhists were supposed to live free of the desire for objects or something like that. Did she hire a semi to deliver all her cash and jewellery to be blessed? I'm pretty sure the load limit in my car isn't much more than 800 pounds.

We should rename our dollar to "kilogram" and see how much the eurotrash likes to read our articles.


Sorry, bad joke--mostly I was just poking fun at "pounds of" rather than "pounds worth of".

/several dollars of jewellery
 
2013-01-22 02:33:32 PM
I like the healer that asked people in the audience to come forward.  A black guy walked up and said he needed help with his hearing.  The healer immediately stuck his fingers in his ears and everyone prayed for him.  He removed his fingers slowly and said, "how's your hearing now?"  The black guy told him the hearing wasn't until nex week.
 
2013-01-22 02:34:33 PM
www.hardtofindseminars.com
"Never give a sucker an even break."
"It's a sin not to fleece a sucker."
 
2013-01-22 02:39:27 PM
The ol' reverse pigeon drop.
 
2013-01-22 02:44:40 PM

umad: Bpjosep: "She has subsequently been robbed of several thousand pounds of cash and jewellery..."

I thoughts Buddhists were supposed to live free of the desire for objects or something like that. Did she hire a semi to deliver all her cash and jewellery to be blessed? I'm pretty sure the load limit in my car isn't much more than 800 pounds.

We should rename our dollar to "kilogram" and see how much the eurotrash likes to read our articles.


But then we'd have to pay 50 kilos for one year of TF.

That's a lot of snow.
 
2013-01-22 02:52:50 PM

Qwertyette: I got a magic rock to sell you that keeps tigers away.


ninjamonkey.us
 
2013-01-22 02:53:09 PM

Tenatra: "The bag was taken and "blessed" and the woman was told not to open the bag for a few weeks to allow the charm to work. However, she opened the bag a few days later and found her items had been swapped for junk."

She didn't wait long enough and suffered the consequences.


THIS. Thank you for spotting the obvious flaw in the law's logic. If anything, these three Chinese woman should be compensated for being made a mockery of in the public's eye. It's not their fault this twatwaffle couldn't follow instructions.
 
2013-01-22 03:02:54 PM

dwade: I thought Asians were suppose to be smart.


Hardworking yes, smart? Smart can be faked by hard work, most of the time.
 
2013-01-22 03:02:57 PM
jack21221: Not sure if trolling or just an idiot...

Doesn't look like either to me, just someone being facetious and cliched.
 
2013-01-22 03:03:46 PM
The 64-year-old Buddhist was approached by two Chinese women at around 3pm in the St James Centre, Edinburgh on Tuesday January 15.

I know that when I am in need of spiritual guidance the first place I look is a shopping mall, too.
 
2013-01-22 03:06:52 PM
People who say that there are two types of "smart" which include book smart and street smart are just not smart, and making excuses. There is only one kind of smart. A smart person is a person who can make informed decisions well, having done the information gathering part properly, and who engages each decision making opportunity with as much of that gathered knowledge and understanding as time allows for.
"street smart" refers to people who make decisions quickly on their feet, but remain ignorant, while "book smart" refers to people who amass large amounts of information but still remain fools. Neither is smart.
Having all of the knowledge in the world, but no system to index and consider that information in a time of decision making is NOT intelligence, it's memorization.
 
2013-01-22 03:08:43 PM

ChaoticLimbs: People who say that there are two types of "smart" which include book smart and street smart are just not smart, and making excuses. There is only one kind of smart. A smart person is a person who can make informed decisions well, having done the information gathering part properly, and who engages each decision making opportunity with as much of that gathered knowledge and understanding as time allows for.
"street smart" refers to people who make decisions quickly on their feet, but remain ignorant, while "book smart" refers to people who amass large amounts of information but still remain fools. Neither is smart.
Having all of the knowledge in the world, but no system to index and consider that information in a time of decision making is NOT intelligence, it's memorization.


it's INT vs WIS.
 
Displayed 50 of 78 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report