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(Boston Herald)   Harvard professor says if you believed the Neanderthal baby story you probably are one   (bostonherald.com) divider line 74
    More: Followup, Neanderthals, Harvard, Human Genome Project, Britain's Daily Mail, Harvard professor, genome sequencing, H.G. Wells  
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14767 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2013 at 10:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-22 10:22:23 AM  
Subby is an idiot.
 
2013-01-22 10:23:12 AM  
Neanderfark.
 
2013-01-22 10:23:52 AM  
Yes, I am a Harvard professor.

/not really
 
2013-01-22 10:26:35 AM  
Blast! My army of Neanderthal super-soldiers has been delayed again.
 
2013-01-22 10:26:40 AM  
The professor looks totally baked.

/not that I would know
 
2013-01-22 10:26:56 AM  
That's offensive subbs

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-22 10:27:16 AM  
IIRC DNA half-life is around 520 years which would make any Neanderthal DNA unusable for any sort of cloning.

/IANAB so please correct me if I'm wrong.
 
2013-01-22 10:27:27 AM  
In a related story, the Fox News farm team suffers another staffing setback.
 
2013-01-22 10:27:41 AM  
Even if you didn't believe it, all the Harvard professors think you're a Neanderthal.
 
2013-01-22 10:33:26 AM  
Meh. Wake me up when they need someone to gestate a mammoth.

/big boned
 
2013-01-22 10:33:33 AM  

Snapper Carr: IIRC DNA half-life is around 520 years which would make any Neanderthal DNA unusable for any sort of cloning.

/IANAB so please correct me if I'm wrong.


If they can get a lot of different samples that are fairly high quality, they can try to piece together a full genome.

I'm also not a biologist, but I did stay at a Motel 6 last night.
 
2013-01-22 10:34:13 AM  
Probably just a squatch.
 
2013-01-22 10:34:22 AM  

The Muthaship: Even if you didn't believe it, all the Harvard professors think you're a Neanderthal.


That's ok, I've made plenty of money fixing things their former students have farked up.
 
2013-01-22 10:35:10 AM  

I May Be Crazy But...: Snapper Carr: IIRC DNA half-life is around 520 years which would make any Neanderthal DNA unusable for any sort of cloning.

/IANAB so please correct me if I'm wrong.

If they can get a lot of different samples that are fairly high quality, they can try to piece together a full genome.

I'm also not a biologist, but I did stay at a Motel 6 last night.


Also, they can do it with dinosaur DNA from mosquitoes in amber, so relatively recent Neanderthal DNA shouldn't be a problem. Didn't you see that documentary series from a few years back?
 
2013-01-22 10:35:10 AM  

Snapper Carr: IIRC DNA half-life is around 520 years which would make any Neanderthal DNA unusable for any sort of cloning.

/IANAB so please correct me if I'm wrong.


But what if we fill in the gaps with some animal that has a vague evolutionary connection? Then somehow the Neanderthals would change sexes and start breeding! Then maybe Wayne Knight will get clubbed to death by a pack of neanderthals in his Jeep.
 
2013-01-22 10:37:07 AM  
This is an amazing lesson in damage control.
 
2013-01-22 10:37:17 AM  
but i saw it on alex jones, its real


ON RECORD!
 
2013-01-22 10:37:59 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: The Muthaship: Even if you didn't believe it, all the Harvard professors think you're a Neanderthal.

That's ok, I've made plenty of money fixing things their former students have farked up.


Reminds me of the old joke:

A young man was walking on the campus of Harvard, and saw a professor strolling toward him.

The young man said, "Excuse me, sir. Where is the library at?"

The professor looked over his glasses and said, "My boy, this is Hahvud, we do not end sentences with prepositions."

So the young man replied, "Oh, sorry. Where is the library at, asshole?"
 
2013-01-22 10:38:05 AM  
...likewise if you make up a story about a neanderthal baby.
 
2013-01-22 10:39:07 AM  
CSB? I took a computation genetics class taught by George. Super nice guy.

And what's this? The Daily Fail printing bullshiat to generate clicks? Inconceivable!
 
2013-01-22 10:40:18 AM  
Anyone who has even MET George for five minutes would know this was blown out of proportion. He's a really responsible, likeable, brilliant guy, doubt he'd even dip his toes in something as unethical as that.
 
2013-01-22 10:40:30 AM  
I once had my semen analyzed by a Genome scientist. She said it tasted like chicken and I smelled like a Neanderthal. So I guess I am out of the project as a supplier.
 
2013-01-22 10:41:56 AM  

The Muthaship: Smeggy Smurf: The Muthaship: Even if you didn't believe it, all the Harvard professors think you're a Neanderthal.

That's ok, I've made plenty of money fixing things their former students have farked up.

Reminds me of the old joke:

A young man was walking on the campus of Harvard, and saw a professor strolling toward him.

The young man said, "Excuse me, sir. Where is the library at?"

The professor looked over his glasses and said, "My boy, this is Hahvud, we do not end sentences with prepositions."

So the young man replied, "Oh, sorry. Where is the library at, asshole?"


Remember, a preposition is something you should never end a sentence with. A proposition is something to end every sentence with - you wanna go back to my place?
 
2013-01-22 10:42:44 AM  

DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Anyone who has even MET George for five minutes would know this was blown out of proportion. He's a really responsible, likeable, brilliant guy, doubt he'd even dip his toes in something as unethical as that.


And, come on, who hasn't met George?
 
2013-01-22 10:42:47 AM  

The Muthaship: Smeggy Smurf: The Muthaship: Even if you didn't believe it, all the Harvard professors think you're a Neanderthal.

That's ok, I've made plenty of money fixing things their former students have farked up.

Reminds me of the old joke:

A young man was walking on the campus of Harvard, and saw a professor strolling toward him.

The young man said, "Excuse me, sir. Where is the library at?"

The professor looked over his glasses and said, "My boy, this is Hahvud, we do not end sentences with prepositions."

So the young man replied, "Oh, sorry. Where is the library at, asshole?"


Yeah, that don't happen no more.

/works for Harvard
//also provides support to George Church's lab
///haven't met him, but he's got smart people working for him
 
2013-01-22 10:44:13 AM  

aerojockey: DO NOT WANT Poster Girl: Anyone who has even MET George for five minutes would know this was blown out of proportion. He's a really responsible, likeable, brilliant guy, doubt he'd even dip his toes in something as unethical as that.

And, come on, who hasn't met George?


From what I've heard, he's very curious.
 
2013-01-22 10:46:13 AM  
So he theorizes that Der Spiegel mistranslated what he said. Did he conduct the interview in English or German? If in English, did they translate it into German and back into English again? Here is the Spiegel article in English. If these are in fact his words in English, I can certainly see how someone would think he's bullish about the possibility of cloning Neanderthals, though the "Wanted" headline is clearly an exaggeration. (The questions are amusing: basically trying to get him to admit that he's Josef Mengele all over again.)
 
2013-01-22 10:48:41 AM  
plancksconstant.org

They've found the surrogate!
 
2013-01-22 10:49:04 AM  
But he said, "I'm not going to run away. ... I want to use it as an educational moment to talk about journalism and technology."

Anybody else find it hilarious that the story ends with this? Prof starts to go on rant about bad journalism, journalist hangs up and puts down pen.
 
2013-01-22 10:49:50 AM  
Well if they need an extra neanderthal DNA they can get it from some of the people work with. Some of them just started walking upright.
 
2013-01-22 10:49:51 AM  

The Muthaship: Smeggy Smurf: The Muthaship: Even if you didn't believe it, all the Harvard professors think you're a Neanderthal.

That's ok, I've made plenty of money fixing things their former students have farked up.

Reminds me of the old joke:

A young man was walking on the campus of Harvard, and saw a professor strolling toward him.

The young man said, "Excuse me, sir. Where is the library at?"

The professor looked over his glasses and said, "My boy, this is Hahvud, we do not end sentences with prepositions."

So the young man replied, "Oh, sorry. Where is the library at, asshole?"


Neanderthals and grammar Nazis make me think of this:

www.explosm.net
 
2013-01-22 10:49:52 AM  
There goes my army of neanderthal super soldiers.
 
2013-01-22 10:51:22 AM  
This story didn't happen because of poor translation skills, but because sensation sells the paper. Der Spiegel is Germany's National Enquirer.
 
2013-01-22 10:51:45 AM  

The Muthaship: Smeggy Smurf: The Muthaship: Even if you didn't believe it, all the Harvard professors think you're a Neanderthal.

That's ok, I've made plenty of money fixing things their former students have farked up.

Reminds me of the old joke:

A young man was walking on the campus of Harvard, and saw a professor strolling toward him.

The young man said, "Excuse me, sir. Where is the library at?"

The professor looked over his glasses and said, "My boy, this is Hahvud, we do not end sentences with prepositions."

So the young man replied, "Oh, sorry. Where is the library at, asshole?"


A Yale man uses the urinal at Widener Library. As he's about to leave, a Harvard man stops him and says, "At Harvard, they taught us to wash our hands after using the bathroom."
The Yalie replies, "At Yale, they taught us NOT TO PISS ALL OVER OUR HANDS!"

/then the Princeton guy yells from the stall, "At Princeton, we don't need to be taught not to piss on our hands."
 
2013-01-22 10:53:28 AM  

I May Be Crazy But...: Snapper Carr: IIRC DNA half-life is around 520 years which would make any Neanderthal DNA unusable for any sort of cloning.

/IANAB so please correct me if I'm wrong.

If they can get a lot of different samples that are fairly high quality, they can try to piece together a full genome.



Just fill in the missing pieces with frog DNA. No sweat.
 
2013-01-22 10:55:43 AM  
Dr. Moreau: What is the law?
Sayer of the Law: Not to eat meat, that is the law. Are we not men?
Beasts (in unison): Are we not men?
Dr. Moreau: What is the law?
Sayer of the Law: Not to go on all fours, that is the law. Are we not men?
Beasts (in unison): Are we not men?
Dr. Moreau: What is the law?
Sayer of the Law: Not to spill blood, that is the law. Are we not men?
Beasts (in unison): Are we not men?
 
2013-01-22 11:09:17 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com

Krieger: Pam, if you're dumping stuff on the street, you can also dump these.
Pam: What is it?
Krieger: Shattered dreams.
Cheryl: Smells like rotten meat.
Krieger: Also, yes.
 
2013-01-22 11:10:16 AM  

I May Be Crazy But...: Snapper Carr: IIRC DNA half-life is around 520 years which would make any Neanderthal DNA unusable for any sort of cloning.

/IANAB so please correct me if I'm wrong.

If they can get a lot of different samples that are fairly high quality, they can try to piece together a full genome.

I'm also not a biologist, but I did stay at a Motel 6 last night.


it's been done before...
www.wildsoundmovies.com
 
2013-01-22 11:16:58 AM  

rdyb: But he said, "I'm not going to run away. ... I want to use it as an educational moment to talk about journalism and technology."

Anybody else find it hilarious that the story ends with this? Prof starts to go on rant about bad journalism, journalist hangs up and puts down pen.


Of course it's not just bad journalism. The great thing about the internet is it makes it incredibly easy for people all over the world to communicate. The bad thing about the internet is it makes it incredibly easy for dumbasses all over the world to communicate. Hence complete dumbassery, like Newtown CT conspiracy theorists suddenly have the power to spew their shiat all over the world.
 
2013-01-22 11:21:19 AM  
FTFA: Church said he was not even involved in the sequencing of Neanderthal DNA - a project that scientists said has helped determined that many modern humans actually carry traces of their distant hominid ancestors.

With journalists this well educated and diligent, I can't imagine how the original mistake was made.

/Facepalm
//Also, the comments on that article are a perfect storm of Stupid.
 
2013-01-22 11:39:53 AM  

ManRay: Just fill in the missing pieces with frog DNA. No sweat.


An army of unstoppable neanderthal frog-warriors? Sign me up!
1.bp.blogspot.com


And I got dibs on Sandrahl.
1.bp.blogspot.com
//giggity
 
2013-01-22 11:42:11 AM  
Curse my feeble, non frog-infused html-fu
www.horrorchannel.co.uk
I restate my giggity.
 
2013-01-22 11:48:39 AM  

fireclown: ManRay: Just fill in the missing pieces with frog DNA. No sweat.

An army of unstoppable neanderthal frog-warriors? Sign me up!
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 720x405]


And I got dibs on Sandrahl.
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 720x405]
//giggity


Wow, that makes "Gargoyles" look good.
 
2013-01-22 11:49:31 AM  

I May Be Crazy But...: Also, they can do it with dinosaur DNA from mosquitoes in amber,


There's a great TED talk where a paleo-biologist (who wants to bring dinosaurs back) points out that what you'd get out of a mosquito trapped in amber is... mosquito DNA
 
2013-01-22 11:53:16 AM  
Did Subby call me a baby?
Well your the baby, BABY
 
2013-01-22 11:58:17 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: I May Be Crazy But...: Also, they can do it with dinosaur DNA from mosquitoes in amber,

There's a great TED talk where a paleo-biologist (who wants to bring dinosaurs back) points out that what you'd get out of a mosquito trapped in amber is... mosquito DNA


If it's Horner, I'd use "great" very loosely.
 
2013-01-22 11:58:58 AM  

Marcintosh: Beasts (in unison): Are we not men?


1.bp.blogspot.com

WE ARE DEVO!
 
2013-01-22 12:01:51 PM  
Der Spiegel is not equivalent to the National Enquirer. It has a good reputation. The Daily Fail, on the other hand, is equivalent to the National Enquirer.
 
2013-01-22 12:06:33 PM  

fireclown: Curse my feeble, non frog-infused html-fu
[www.horrorchannel.co.uk image 324x450]
I restate my giggity.


Wait- she's dressed like a Solid Gold dancer who's been fighting in the Thunderdome, and yet she's wearing librarian glasses. Who did the costuming for this picture?
 
2013-01-22 12:16:54 PM  
Looks like subby's mom won't be employed for the next 9 months after all.
 
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