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(Washington Times)   The inaugural lunch topped out at 3,000 calories. Do as I say, not as I do   (washingtontimes.com) divider line 27
    More: Obvious, calories, state dinners, inauguration  
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1310 clicks; posted to Politics » on 22 Jan 2013 at 9:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-22 07:53:46 AM  
5 votes:
s14.postimage.org
2013-01-22 09:29:14 AM  
3 votes:
"If you think Michelle Obama is after your freedom because she merely suggests that our kids should exercise more and eat a little broccoli with their lard, you don't deserve a place in the free market of ideas, you belong at the cheesecake factory. She's not Stalin because she notices your kids sweat Mountain Dew. Now, this is bigger than America's ass. I know that's hard to believe so indulge me. This is about the Teabaggers fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between freedom, and the freedom to never be told anything. Like avoid food served in a bucket...

It's just a tradition that First Ladies get to pick some mundane up until now non-controversial cause to promote. Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, Barbara Bush had literacy. Betty Ford's was no hard liquor before 10 AM. Our last First Lady Laura Bush worked tirelessly against illiteracy, so between her efforts and her husband's, it was a tie. Hillary Clinton did pioneering work in looking the other way...

Now when I look at a Moon Pie, I just see sugar and trans fats, not my constitutional freedoms, but Sarah Palin recently brought sugar cookies to a school as a protest against the government telling the school what to eat, which of course, it wasn't doing. Sean Hannity warned that we'd soon be paying fines for eating salt, which isn't a problem for Hannity who mostly eats boogers.

When did the right wing become Joe Pesci over every little thing? You sayin' I use too much salt? What am I salty to you? fark you, I use too much salt. Here take some salt right down your throat. I mean 40 years ago when Lady Bird Johnson suggested we plant wild flowers to beautify the highways, the reaction was it sounds like a neat idea, not don't tell me what I can plant, biatch. Matt Drudge promoted a story saying pedestrian deaths were way up because The Evil One, Michelle Obama had encouraged people to walk more.....directly into traffic. Those were her exact words. Walk into traffic.

Now I'm not saying the right objects to Mrs. Obama's efforts because the Teabaggers are stupid, or because they're hysterical, or because they hate black people, though all of that is true, but what does it say about America that even a First Lady's suggestion has to be controversial? Especially when she picked one no one could disagree with. Maybe we should our kids outside to play? Well, you know who else liked to send people places? Hitler.

I mean Rush Limbaugh makes a crack about this every week, because who better to get your health advice from than a drug addicted fat man. Rush, I have proof that no one in the government is forcing you to eat right and exercise. YOU!"


From a Bill Maher closing monologue.
2013-01-22 09:27:13 AM  
3 votes:

fracto: thomps: even worse, the lunch cost the american tax payer $13 billion. thanks for nothing moochelle.


The menu was set by Lamar Alexander, Eric Cantor, John Boehner, Charles Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid. Which one of them are you calling 'moochelle'?


it's fitting that moochelle antoinette couldn't even lift her finger to set a menu.
2013-01-22 09:09:55 AM  
3 votes:
Does somebody have a bag of low-calorie dicks for subby to eat?
2013-01-22 09:07:14 AM  
3 votes:
Patient: The Washington Times

Symptoms: Complaining about what 0bama and his wife ate at the inauguration ball, calling apple pie "luxurious", needlessly mentioning that the committee that decided the menu was chaired by a democrat, making a ridiculous claim about pizza chains having to list thousands of combinations of ingredients without citing any source

Butthurt Doctor's Diagnosis: Buttdevastated. No known cure.
2013-01-22 10:02:18 AM  
2 votes:
You know what real Americans hate about Michelle Obama?

The nagging.

The hypocrisy.

My lunch was way less than 3000 calories. I know, because she FORCED McDonald's to post a sign with the calorie counts of my Quarter Pounder with Cheese, large fries, and a super-size Diet Coke. Like I need to know that. I already know I'm eating healthier than Moochelle, because I'm eating real American food, not lobster and Iranian caviar and shiat.

I mean, just look at her. Look at what eating 3000 calorie dinners does to a person's body.

cdn2-b.examiner.com

yeahshesaidit.com

lh5.ggpht.com

I mean, oh my God. Becky, look at her butt. It is so big!

She looks like, one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
2013-01-22 09:41:52 AM  
2 votes:

likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.


That much I know. He should put out a recipe book. It's one thing for skinny Barack from Hawaii to stay skinny, but a guy from deep-fried Arkansas? Holy crap. That's some Duane-Kuiper-going-yard shiat right there.  I think he's Level IV vegan, which means he won't eat anything that casts a shadow unless it's got nice plump tits.
2013-01-22 09:30:43 AM  
2 votes:

Don't Troll Me Bro!: For years I've been asking people butthurt about the First Lady's initiatives to state where she says that you can never have dessert, or eat a big meal on occasion. Of course nobody has ever been able to, because that's not what she's advocating. Listen, right-wingers, building strawmen might feel good at the time because you can knock them right over, but it really has a negative impact on your actual debate skills. It's not good for you in the long run. Of course, it seems that's a lot of what modern "conservatism" in America is about, so there's that.


So wait, are you telling me that a steady diet of strawmen and fallacious arguments will make one's debating skills flabby, ineffective, and unattractive? That they may be good as a "sometimes" talking point, but one should generally adhere to the solid foundations of a good, square presentation and consideration of facts to keep one's ability to debate in lean, fighting trim?

All very well and good to know, I guess, but you know, there are people in this country whose dialogue skills are weak, emaciated... frankly, they're starving for a proper argument, but they're so used to the fact-free fluff that they get from their usual sources that they're critically malinformed.

It's true what they say: the foundations to healthy thinking habits start young.
2013-01-22 09:04:29 AM  
2 votes:
The GOP, on the other hand, have gone into the garden to eat worms.
2013-01-22 08:33:19 AM  
2 votes:
Weapons grade butt hurt
2013-01-22 07:57:40 AM  
2 votes:
Guess what, fatties: you are not obligated to eat every last crumb on your plate, even at a high-profile event. So even though the menu may top out at 3000 calories, you don't actually have to consume more than you want to. Also, some people eat 3000 calorie meals every now and then and do just fine, because they actually go out and move their bodies every once in a while.

In short, fark you WT, and for everyone else:

baka-san: Nothing to see here, move along.

2013-01-23 08:24:29 AM  
1 votes:

BMulligan: Parthenogenetic: BMulligan: someonelse: likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.

I think he even went vegan.

Q: How you can tell when someone's a vegan?

A: Don't worry; she'll tell you.

How can you tell when someone's a meat eater? It's not hard, he's the smelly fat person roasting the corpses of dead animals, stuffing them in his mouth, and whining "OMG, vegans are so preachy!"

I'm sorry you didn't find my little joke amusing. The vegan who told it to me thought it was kind of funny. I found the vegan


It was a setup. You muffed it.
2013-01-22 04:36:12 PM  
1 votes:

Rann Xerox: There are two things that I love about seeing the Washington Times logo on threads:

- Warns me not to click the article so as not to give them any traffic.
- Reminds me that Sun Myung Moon is dead as fried chicken.


Chicken's supposed to be dead before you fry it?

Well, that explains the burning oil all over the kitchen.
2013-01-22 11:43:44 AM  
1 votes:
This reminds me of when I'm told a steak Chipotle burrito with guac, cheese, and sour cream has 5,000 calories and since the law requires you eat the whole thing then this means that Colonel Sanders is now president and his first decree is "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."
2013-01-22 11:10:29 AM  
1 votes:

thurstonxhowell: [yeahshesaidit.com image 450x310]

I'm reposting this image because, damn, that deserves to be posted twice. That woman is in her late 40s, raised two kids, has been quite successful professionally, and looks like that. Barack knows how to pick 'em. I'm nearly two decades her junior and I'd be proud to hit that. Even if she was just some chick I met in a bar.


I have to say that she REALLY needs to work on her "jammin' to the tunes' face. I watched the Kennedy Center Awards this year, and I still don't understand how the right decided not to ride her for her music expression. She looked pissed listening to the music she obviously actually liked. She dodged a bullet on that one, considering the stupid shiat they beat her up over.
2013-01-22 10:29:42 AM  
1 votes:

thurstonxhowell: utah dude: my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.

So what was the joke?


He procreated and has spawn.

/buh-dum-tssh
2013-01-22 10:23:20 AM  
1 votes:
my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.
2013-01-22 10:16:28 AM  
1 votes:

poot_rootbeer: A 3,000-calorie meal once every four years won't kill you, submidiot.


Unless that's the whole of your diet.
2013-01-22 09:39:50 AM  
1 votes:
Government control and regulation for our nations children. Freedom of choice for the President and his wife.
2013-01-22 09:38:20 AM  
1 votes:
jpegy.com

This perfectly sums up the Right wing these days.
2013-01-22 09:34:55 AM  
1 votes:
He's Kenyan, he can run it off. [ducks]
2013-01-22 09:21:08 AM  
1 votes:

thomps: even worse, the lunch cost the american tax payer $13 billion. thanks for nothing moochelle.



The menu was set by Lamar Alexander, Eric Cantor, John Boehner, Charles Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid. Which one of them are you calling 'moochelle'?
2013-01-22 09:08:28 AM  
1 votes:
i568.photobucket.com
2013-01-22 09:08:27 AM  
1 votes:
Its official. There is nothing the right-wing won't whine about.
2013-01-22 08:55:47 AM  
1 votes:
Meanwhile, the Right Wing Noise Machine continues to dine on ashes.
2013-01-22 08:49:50 AM  
1 votes:
even worse, the lunch cost the american tax payer $13 billion. thanks for nothing moochelle.
2013-01-22 08:32:28 AM  
1 votes:
Nobody wants to eat dirt and sadness at an inaugural lunch.
 
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