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(Washington Times)   The inaugural lunch topped out at 3,000 calories. Do as I say, not as I do   (washingtontimes.com) divider line 139
    More: Obvious, calories, state dinners, inauguration  
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1307 clicks; posted to Politics » on 22 Jan 2013 at 9:01 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-22 07:45:03 AM
FTFA:

  She has come under fire for the high-calorie counts of some of the state dinners she's hosted at the White House, but other nutritionists have given her a pass, saying indulging on special occasions is perfectly fine. Inaugurations, which come every four years, are about as special as occasions get.


Nothing to see here, move along.


 
2013-01-22 07:53:46 AM
s14.postimage.org
 
2013-01-22 07:57:14 AM

baka-san: FTFA:

She has come under fire for the high-calorie counts of some of the state dinners she's hosted at the White House, but other nutritionists have given her a pass, saying indulging on special occasions is perfectly fine. Inaugurations, which come every four years, are about as special as occasions get.


Nothing to see here, move along.


I'd rather see what the day-to-day calorie counts are for White House meals are when there's no fancy-shmancy dinners going on. Say what you want about the Obamas (or the Bushes before them), life in the White House didn't make them fat.

Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).
 
2013-01-22 07:57:40 AM
Guess what, fatties: you are not obligated to eat every last crumb on your plate, even at a high-profile event. So even though the menu may top out at 3000 calories, you don't actually have to consume more than you want to. Also, some people eat 3000 calorie meals every now and then and do just fine, because they actually go out and move their bodies every once in a while.

In short, fark you WT, and for everyone else:

baka-san: Nothing to see here, move along.

 
2013-01-22 08:32:28 AM
Nobody wants to eat dirt and sadness at an inaugural lunch.
 
2013-01-22 08:33:19 AM
Weapons grade butt hurt
 
2013-01-22 08:47:08 AM
Moonie Times: Bringing you all the news that's fat to print.
 
2013-01-22 08:49:50 AM
even worse, the lunch cost the american tax payer $13 billion. thanks for nothing moochelle.
 
2013-01-22 08:55:47 AM
Meanwhile, the Right Wing Noise Machine continues to dine on ashes.
 
2013-01-22 09:03:54 AM
FOR WHY WON'T YOU SHUT UP?!
 
2013-01-22 09:04:29 AM
The GOP, on the other hand, have gone into the garden to eat worms.
 
2013-01-22 09:07:14 AM
Patient: The Washington Times

Symptoms: Complaining about what 0bama and his wife ate at the inauguration ball, calling apple pie "luxurious", needlessly mentioning that the committee that decided the menu was chaired by a democrat, making a ridiculous claim about pizza chains having to list thousands of combinations of ingredients without citing any source

Butthurt Doctor's Diagnosis: Buttdevastated. No known cure.
 
2013-01-22 09:07:47 AM
The dessert is apple pie with sour cream ice cream.

 sour cream ice cream

Man, screw all the birther and Obamacare nonsense, impeach him for this travesty.
 
2013-01-22 09:08:27 AM
Its official. There is nothing the right-wing won't whine about.
 
2013-01-22 09:08:28 AM
i568.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-22 09:09:18 AM
You call that Inauguration Day outrage?
 
2013-01-22 09:09:38 AM
Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.

Republicans: Do as I say, not as I do I'm a fat liar.
 
2013-01-22 09:09:55 AM
Does somebody have a bag of low-calorie dicks for subby to eat?
 
2013-01-22 09:10:24 AM
i1151.photobucket.com
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Food, glorious food!
Hot sausage and mustard!
While we're in the mood --
Cold jelly and custard!
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫

Enjoy the veal, folks!
I'll just sit here - playing away on this keyboard while you chow down.
Yeah, I'm getting paid - but my food & drinks get deducted - goddamn new economy!
 
2013-01-22 09:14:27 AM

Diogenes: Meanwhile, the Right Wing Noise Machine continues to dine on ashes.


www.brandchannel.com

Approves.
 
2013-01-22 09:15:52 AM

Peter von Nostrand: Weapons grade butt hurt


This.

9/11, Iraq, destroyed economy >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Ina uguration menu
yet no butthurt at all!
 
2013-01-22 09:15:59 AM
The people who don't think the average American is competent enough to pick out their drink size dont care about this type of stuff.
 
2013-01-22 09:17:01 AM
For years I've been asking people butthurt about the First Lady's initiatives to state where she says that you can never have dessert, or eat a big meal on occasion. Of course nobody has ever been able to, because that's not what she's advocating. Listen, right-wingers, building strawmen might feel good at the time because you can knock them right over, but it really has a negative impact on your actual debate skills. It's not good for you in the long run. Of course, it seems that's a lot of what modern "conservatism" in America is about, so there's that.
 
2013-01-22 09:17:02 AM
sour cream ice cream?!
 
2013-01-22 09:21:08 AM

thomps: even worse, the lunch cost the american tax payer $13 billion. thanks for nothing moochelle.



The menu was set by Lamar Alexander, Eric Cantor, John Boehner, Charles Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid. Which one of them are you calling 'moochelle'?
 
2013-01-22 09:27:13 AM

fracto: thomps: even worse, the lunch cost the american tax payer $13 billion. thanks for nothing moochelle.


The menu was set by Lamar Alexander, Eric Cantor, John Boehner, Charles Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid. Which one of them are you calling 'moochelle'?


it's fitting that moochelle antoinette couldn't even lift her finger to set a menu.
 
2013-01-22 09:28:06 AM

GiantRex: Patient: The Washington Times

Symptoms: Complaining about what 0bama and his wife ate at the inauguration ball, calling apple pie "luxurious", needlessly mentioning that the committee that decided the menu was chaired by a democrat, making a ridiculous claim about pizza chains having to list thousands of combinations of ingredients without citing any source

Butthurt Doctor's Diagnosis: Buttdevastated. No known cure.


I like that complaining about everything Obama does is now as American as, well, apple pie.
 
2013-01-22 09:28:08 AM
I think that when I get inaugurated for my second term as president, I'm going to go with something light. I want to save that big meal splurge for something important and noteworthy. Maybe watching the Super Bowl or something.
 
2013-01-22 09:29:09 AM
Either fork over more money to your local school in property taxes or shut the fark up about the school lunch program.
 
2013-01-22 09:29:14 AM
"If you think Michelle Obama is after your freedom because she merely suggests that our kids should exercise more and eat a little broccoli with their lard, you don't deserve a place in the free market of ideas, you belong at the cheesecake factory. She's not Stalin because she notices your kids sweat Mountain Dew. Now, this is bigger than America's ass. I know that's hard to believe so indulge me. This is about the Teabaggers fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between freedom, and the freedom to never be told anything. Like avoid food served in a bucket...

It's just a tradition that First Ladies get to pick some mundane up until now non-controversial cause to promote. Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, Barbara Bush had literacy. Betty Ford's was no hard liquor before 10 AM. Our last First Lady Laura Bush worked tirelessly against illiteracy, so between her efforts and her husband's, it was a tie. Hillary Clinton did pioneering work in looking the other way...

Now when I look at a Moon Pie, I just see sugar and trans fats, not my constitutional freedoms, but Sarah Palin recently brought sugar cookies to a school as a protest against the government telling the school what to eat, which of course, it wasn't doing. Sean Hannity warned that we'd soon be paying fines for eating salt, which isn't a problem for Hannity who mostly eats boogers.

When did the right wing become Joe Pesci over every little thing? You sayin' I use too much salt? What am I salty to you? fark you, I use too much salt. Here take some salt right down your throat. I mean 40 years ago when Lady Bird Johnson suggested we plant wild flowers to beautify the highways, the reaction was it sounds like a neat idea, not don't tell me what I can plant, biatch. Matt Drudge promoted a story saying pedestrian deaths were way up because The Evil One, Michelle Obama had encouraged people to walk more.....directly into traffic. Those were her exact words. Walk into traffic.

Now I'm not saying the right objects to Mrs. Obama's efforts because the Teabaggers are stupid, or because they're hysterical, or because they hate black people, though all of that is true, but what does it say about America that even a First Lady's suggestion has to be controversial? Especially when she picked one no one could disagree with. Maybe we should our kids outside to play? Well, you know who else liked to send people places? Hitler.

I mean Rush Limbaugh makes a crack about this every week, because who better to get your health advice from than a drug addicted fat man. Rush, I have proof that no one in the government is forcing you to eat right and exercise. YOU!"


From a Bill Maher closing monologue.
 
2013-01-22 09:29:53 AM
clearly this sends a mixed message - that eating a 3,000-calorie meal once every four years means that i can eat like that every single farking day of my life.
 
2013-01-22 09:30:25 AM

tfresh: sour cream ice cream?!


Link

I fail to see how this could be bad. It'd be like a rich vanilla custard plus the sour cream tang. Although it would've been kinda cool if they'd served the pie old school with a slice of cheddar.
 
2013-01-22 09:30:43 AM

Don't Troll Me Bro!: For years I've been asking people butthurt about the First Lady's initiatives to state where she says that you can never have dessert, or eat a big meal on occasion. Of course nobody has ever been able to, because that's not what she's advocating. Listen, right-wingers, building strawmen might feel good at the time because you can knock them right over, but it really has a negative impact on your actual debate skills. It's not good for you in the long run. Of course, it seems that's a lot of what modern "conservatism" in America is about, so there's that.


So wait, are you telling me that a steady diet of strawmen and fallacious arguments will make one's debating skills flabby, ineffective, and unattractive? That they may be good as a "sometimes" talking point, but one should generally adhere to the solid foundations of a good, square presentation and consideration of facts to keep one's ability to debate in lean, fighting trim?

All very well and good to know, I guess, but you know, there are people in this country whose dialogue skills are weak, emaciated... frankly, they're starving for a proper argument, but they're so used to the fact-free fluff that they get from their usual sources that they're critically malinformed.

It's true what they say: the foundations to healthy thinking habits start young.
 
2013-01-22 09:32:47 AM

someonelse: tfresh: sour cream ice cream?!

Link

I fail to see how this could be bad. It'd be like a rich vanilla custard plus the sour cream tang. Although it would've been kinda cool if they'd served the pie old school with a slice of cheddar.


Come summer time, I make sour cream ice cream quite often. Macerate raspberries, add them to the custard and then make ice cream. Really tasty.
 
2013-01-22 09:33:00 AM

jayhawk88: The dessert is apple pie with sour cream ice cream.

sour cream ice cream

Man, screw all the birther and Obamacare nonsense, impeach him for this travesty.


I know it sounds weird, but a couple of baker friends of mine (who are really getting a kick &c.) say the sour cream helps bring out the taste of the fruit.
 
2013-01-22 09:34:00 AM
Next thing you'll tell me is that weddings should skip the cake
 
2013-01-22 09:34:13 AM
Crabs_Can_Polevault:  It's true what they say: the foundations to healthy thinking habits start young.

Very well executed, sir.
 
2013-01-22 09:34:28 AM

jayhawk88: The dessert is apple pie with sour cream ice cream.

 sour cream ice cream

Man, screw all the birther and Obamacare nonsense, impeach him for this travesty.


I admit to never having sour cream ice cream, but having had apple and sour cream pie, screw you, it's awesome.
 
2013-01-22 09:34:55 AM
He's Kenyan, he can run it off. [ducks]
 
2013-01-22 09:35:17 AM

Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).


His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.
 
2013-01-22 09:37:46 AM

baka-san: FTFA:

  She has come under fire for the high-calorie counts of some of the state dinners she's hosted at the White House, but other nutritionists have given her a pass, saying indulging on special occasions is perfectly fine. Inaugurations, which come every four years, are about as special as occasions get.


Nothing to see here, move along.




Nothing to see here because Moochelle the uppity negress-in-chief is blocking all there is to see with her huge ghettobooty. Meanwhile my son Leebob-Joe is starving eating his 800 calorie lunch. He is a growing boy 5'6 298 lbs, and he needs his food or else he will waste away to nothing. Moochelle will be the death of our healthy, round children.
 
2013-01-22 09:38:16 AM

likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.


I think he even went vegan.
 
2013-01-22 09:38:20 AM
jpegy.com

This perfectly sums up the Right wing these days.
 
2013-01-22 09:38:24 AM

likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.


Mostly vegan, with the exception of fish.

No beef or dairy for Bubba these days! It shows.
 
2013-01-22 09:39:28 AM
The GOP is just a pack of miserable, nattering old ladies.
 
2013-01-22 09:39:50 AM
Government control and regulation for our nations children. Freedom of choice for the President and his wife.
 
2013-01-22 09:41:23 AM

Diogenes: "If you think Michelle Obama is after your freedom because she merely suggests that our kids should exercise more and eat a little broccoli with their lard, you don't deserve a place in the free market of ideas, you belong at the cheesecake factory. She's not Stalin because she notices your kids sweat Mountain Dew. Now, this is bigger than America's ass. I know that's hard to believe so indulge me. This is about the Teabaggers fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between freedom, and the freedom to never be told anything. Like avoid food served in a bucket...

It's just a tradition that First Ladies get to pick some mundane up until now non-controversial cause to promote. Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, Barbara Bush had literacy. Betty Ford's was no hard liquor before 10 AM. Our last First Lady Laura Bush worked tirelessly against illiteracy, so between her efforts and her husband's, it was a tie. Hillary Clinton did pioneering work in looking the other way...

Now when I look at a Moon Pie, I just see sugar and trans fats, not my constitutional freedoms, but Sarah Palin recently brought sugar cookies to a school as a protest against the government telling the school what to eat, which of course, it wasn't doing. Sean Hannity warned that we'd soon be paying fines for eating salt, which isn't a problem for Hannity who mostly eats boogers.

When did the right wing become Joe Pesci over every little thing? You sayin' I use too much salt? What am I salty to you? fark you, I use too much salt. Here take some salt right down your throat. I mean 40 years ago when Lady Bird Johnson suggested we plant wild flowers to beautify the highways, the reaction was it sounds like a neat idea, not don't tell me what I can plant, biatch. Matt Drudge promoted a story saying pedestrian deaths were way up because The Evil One, Michelle Obama had encouraged people to walk more.....directly into traffic. Those were her exact words. Walk into traffic.

Now I'm not saying the ...


For all the shiat that guy gets (especially around here), when he's right, he farking nails it.
 
2013-01-22 09:41:52 AM

likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.


That much I know. He should put out a recipe book. It's one thing for skinny Barack from Hawaii to stay skinny, but a guy from deep-fried Arkansas? Holy crap. That's some Duane-Kuiper-going-yard shiat right there.  I think he's Level IV vegan, which means he won't eat anything that casts a shadow unless it's got nice plump tits.
 
2013-01-22 09:42:11 AM
A 3,000-calorie meal once every four years won't kill you, submidiot.
 
2013-01-22 09:43:00 AM

Free_Chilly_Willy: Government control and regulation for our nations children. Freedom of choice for the President and his wife.


Could you at least try a little?  Though I admit the intellectually lazy goes smashing with your spare tire.
 
2013-01-22 09:46:00 AM
There are two things that I love about seeing the Washington Times logo on threads:

- Warns me not to click the article so as not to give them any traffic.
- Reminds me that Sun Myung Moon is dead as fried chicken.
 
2013-01-22 09:47:12 AM
The Party of Personal Responsibility, ladies and gentlemen!
 
2013-01-22 09:48:55 AM

un4gvn666: For all the shiat that guy gets (especially around here), when he's right, he farking nails it.


I run hot and cold on him.  But yeah, that's one of his best.  And we're seeing it play it out in real time (haha) with some of the posters here right now.
 
2013-01-22 09:49:56 AM

Free_Chilly_Willy: Government control and regulation for our nations children. Freedom of choice for the President and his wife.


I'm going to have to put you on ignore. Not because you're particularly offensive, but because you don't even make an effort.
 
2013-01-22 09:50:43 AM

Diogenes: Free_Chilly_Willy: Government control and regulation for our nations children. Freedom of choice for the President and his wife.

Could you at least try a little?


No. He can't.
 
2013-01-22 09:52:23 AM
In unrelated news, Moonies still hold the record for Projectile Vomiting.
 
2013-01-22 09:53:15 AM
I heard that when Obama invites people around to play basketball each week they're all given supersized McDonalds happy meals and afterwards ACORN pumps their stomachs at a FEMA camp just to make the demonrats calorie intake look good.
 
2013-01-22 09:53:35 AM
How pathetically petty.
 
2013-01-22 09:53:43 AM

BitwiseShift: In unrelated news, Moonies still hold the record for Projectile Vomiting.


Someone watched Colbert last night. :-)
 
2013-01-22 09:58:08 AM
FTFA: "The menu was determined by the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugurual Ceremonies, which is chaired by Sen. Charles E. Schumer"

So the menu was created entirely by the Joint Congressional Committee which Mrs. Obama is not apart yet then try to tear her down and blame her for the the menu. Even for republicans this butt hurt logic is way extreme.
 
2013-01-22 10:00:11 AM

mauricecano: Even for republicans this butt hurt logic is way extreme.


Yeah, but this isn't just another incident.  It's a theme.
 
2013-01-22 10:02:18 AM
You know what real Americans hate about Michelle Obama?

The nagging.

The hypocrisy.

My lunch was way less than 3000 calories. I know, because she FORCED McDonald's to post a sign with the calorie counts of my Quarter Pounder with Cheese, large fries, and a super-size Diet Coke. Like I need to know that. I already know I'm eating healthier than Moochelle, because I'm eating real American food, not lobster and Iranian caviar and shiat.

I mean, just look at her. Look at what eating 3000 calorie dinners does to a person's body.

cdn2-b.examiner.com

yeahshesaidit.com

lh5.ggpht.com

I mean, oh my God. Becky, look at her butt. It is so big!

She looks like, one of those rap guys' girlfriends.
 
2013-01-22 10:02:29 AM

Gulper Eel: likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.

That much I know. He should put out a recipe book. It's one thing for skinny Barack from Hawaii to stay skinny, but a guy from deep-fried Arkansas? Holy crap. That's some Duane-Kuiper-going-yard shiat right there.  I think he's Level IV vegan, which means he won't eat anything that casts a shadow unless it's got nice plump tits.


My SO went vegan a few years ago and lost half of his body weight. Seriously, there are coats in his closet that wrap around him twice. We run into people he uses to know who literally don't recognize him.

I keep telling him he should write a cookbook. I stopped hating on vegan food once I figured out there's more to it than sticks and dirt or whatever. Hell, I actually think he's made a vegan sour cream ice cream before.
 
2013-01-22 10:06:04 AM

Gulper Eel: baka-san: ... I'd rather see what the day-to-day calorie counts are for White House meals are when there's no fancy-shmancy dinners going on. Say wha t you want about the Obamas (or the Bushes before them), life in the White House didn't make them fat.

True dat.


Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).


I presume the obvious joke you're alluding to is replacing "what" with "who".
 
2013-01-22 10:09:58 AM
yeahshesaidit.com

I'm reposting this image because, damn, that deserves to be posted twice. That woman is in her late 40s, raised two kids, has been quite successful professionally, and looks like that. Barack knows how to pick 'em. I'm nearly two decades her junior and I'd be proud to hit that. Even if she was just some chick I met in a bar.
 
2013-01-22 10:13:02 AM
It makes me happy knowing the butthurt and rage-crying will continue for the next 4 years. Thank you GOP, for being a bunch of grudge-holding crybabies.
 
2013-01-22 10:16:28 AM

poot_rootbeer: A 3,000-calorie meal once every four years won't kill you, submidiot.


Unless that's the whole of your diet.
 
2013-01-22 10:17:37 AM
The other thing that should be pointed out is that many people involved in the Inauguration don't eat breakfast (because of nerves) that day, and are often up for 20-24 hours. Were I in that situation, I'd be grateful for a 3000-calorie meal.
 
2013-01-22 10:23:20 AM
my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.
 
2013-01-22 10:23:20 AM

baka-san: FTFA:

  She has come under fire for the high-calorie counts of some of the state dinners she's hosted at the White House, but other nutritionists have given her a pass, saying indulging on special occasions is perfectly fine. Inaugurations, which come every four years, are about as special as occasions get.


Nothing to see here, move along.


Done in one.

You have to marvel at people who spend their time crying about this stuff. Isn't there a kispy kreme opening up in a Walmart somewhere, handing out collectable NASCAR big gulp cups?
 
2013-01-22 10:24:59 AM

utah dude: my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.


So what was the joke?
 
2013-01-22 10:29:42 AM

thurstonxhowell: utah dude: my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.

So what was the joke?


He procreated and has spawn.

/buh-dum-tssh
 
2013-01-22 10:31:30 AM

poot_rootbeer: A 3,000-calorie meal once every four years won't kill you, submidiot.


Well, only if they're calorie efficient foods, like pie and twinkies and ice cream, and not vegetables that you could hurt yourself with the sheer volume of crap you're stuffing into your gut.
 
2013-01-22 10:33:30 AM

thurstonxhowell: [yeahshesaidit.com image 450x310]

I'm reposting this image because, damn, that deserves to be posted twice. That woman is in her late 40s, raised two kids, has been quite successful professionally, and looks like that. Barack knows how to pick 'em. I'm nearly two decades her junior and I'd be proud to hit that. Even if she was just some chick I met in a bar.


They only talk to her, because, she looks like a total prostitute, 'kay?
 
2013-01-22 10:34:06 AM

thurstonxhowell: [yeahshesaidit.com image 450x310]

I'm reposting this image because, damn, that deserves to be posted twice. That woman is in her late 40s, raised two kids, has been quite successful professionally, and looks like that. Barack knows how to pick 'em. I'm nearly two decades her junior and I'd be proud to hit that. Even if she was just some chick I met in a bar.


So... What your saying is:
allhiphop.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-22 10:35:40 AM

utah dude: my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.


This sounds like something that Frito Bandito said that ended up on the cutting room floor of Idiocracy.
 
2013-01-22 10:36:37 AM

Diogenes: "If you think Michelle Obama is after your freedom because she merely suggests that our kids should exercise more and eat a little broccoli with their lard, you don't deserve a place in the free market of ideas, you belong at the cheesecake factory. She's not Stalin because she notices your kids sweat Mountain Dew. Now, this is bigger than America's ass. I know that's hard to believe so indulge me. This is about the Teabaggers fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between freedom, and the freedom to never be told anything. Like avoid food served in a bucket...

It's just a tradition that First Ladies get to pick some mundane up until now non-controversial cause to promote. Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, Barbara Bush had literacy. Betty Ford's was no hard liquor before 10 AM. Our last First Lady Laura Bush worked tirelessly against illiteracy, so between her efforts and her husband's, it was a tie. Hillary Clinton did pioneering work in looking the other way...

Now when I look at a Moon Pie, I just see sugar and trans fats, not my constitutional freedoms, but Sarah Palin recently brought sugar cookies to a school as a protest against the government telling the school what to eat, which of course, it wasn't doing. Sean Hannity warned that we'd soon be paying fines for eating salt, which isn't a problem for Hannity who mostly eats boogers.

When did the right wing become Joe Pesci over every little thing? You sayin' I use too much salt? What am I salty to you? fark you, I use too much salt. Here take some salt right down your throat. I mean 40 years ago when Lady Bird Johnson suggested we plant wild flowers to beautify the highways, the reaction was it sounds like a neat idea, not don't tell me what I can plant, biatch. Matt Drudge promoted a story saying pedestrian deaths were way up because The Evil One, Michelle Obama had encouraged people to walk more.....directly into traffic. Those were her exact words. Walk into traffic.

Now I'm not saying the ...


Ooo! Let me!

"He said 'teabaggers' so every spot on point he made is automatically potato"
 
2013-01-22 10:43:18 AM

coeyagi: utah dude: my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.

This sounds like something that Frito Bandito said that ended up on the cutting room floor of Idiocracy.



Pass the bacon "jokes" in a "pass the bacon" thread.

/full circle
//google it
 
2013-01-22 10:45:04 AM
The Moonie times is such a wealth of information:

"Some of those restaurants have objected. Pizza chains said they'll have to post extensive signs with thousands of combinations of ingredients to meet the requirements."

I never knew that pizza chains were not allowed to assume their customers could do simple addition.

Base calories plus topping plus topping etc.

Just wow.
 
2013-01-22 10:50:08 AM

Masterstuff: He procreated and has spawn.


That's not a joke; that's a horror story.
 
2013-01-22 10:50:14 AM

baka-san: FTFA:

  She has come under fire for the high-calorie counts of some of the state dinners she's hosted at the White House, but other nutritionists have given her a pass, saying indulging on special occasions is perfectly fine. Inaugurations, which come every four years, are about as special as occasions get.


Nothing to see here, move along.


Yeah, I was going to say the same thing. It's as annoying as that one woman we all know who freaks out over a the concept of a single piece of cake at the company party because it will "ruin her diet". Same amount of cluelessness for both.
 
2013-01-22 10:55:58 AM

Granny_Panties: Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.


www.fitnessforhumans.com

Yeah, what a fat ass!
 
2013-01-22 10:57:36 AM

Diogenes: "If you think Michelle Obama is after your freedom because she merely suggests that our kids should exercise more and eat a little broccoli with their lard, you don't deserve a place in the free market of ideas, you belong at the cheesecake factory. She's not Stalin because she notices your kids sweat Mountain Dew. Now, this is bigger than America's ass. I know that's hard to believe so indulge me. This is about the Teabaggers fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between freedom, and the freedom to never be told anything. Like avoid food served in a bucket...

It's just a tradition that First Ladies get to pick some mundane up until now non-controversial cause to promote. Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, Barbara Bush had literacy. Betty Ford's was no hard liquor before 10 AM. Our last First Lady Laura Bush worked tirelessly against illiteracy, so between her efforts and her husband's, it was a tie. Hillary Clinton did pioneering work in looking the other way...

Now when I look at a Moon Pie, I just see sugar and trans fats, not my constitutional freedoms, but Sarah Palin recently brought sugar cookies to a school as a protest against the government telling the school what to eat, which of course, it wasn't doing. Sean Hannity warned that we'd soon be paying fines for eating salt, which isn't a problem for Hannity who mostly eats boogers.

When did the right wing become Joe Pesci over every little thing? You sayin' I use too much salt? What am I salty to you? fark you, I use too much salt. Here take some salt right down your throat. I mean 40 years ago when Lady Bird Johnson suggested we plant wild flowers to beautify the highways, the reaction was it sounds like a neat idea, not don't tell me what I can plant, biatch. Matt Drudge promoted a story saying pedestrian deaths were way up because The Evil One, Michelle Obama had encouraged people to walk more.....directly into traffic. Those were her exact words. Walk into traffic.

Now I'm not saying the ...


Holy farking Hell... You gotta be shiatting me. I know they're retarded and all, but this is a completely new level of idiocy.
 
2013-01-22 10:57:45 AM

lordjupiter: Diogenes: "If you think Michelle Obama is after your freedom because she merely suggests that our kids should exercise more and eat a little broccoli with their lard, you don't deserve a place in the free market of ideas, you belong at the cheesecake factory. She's not Stalin because she notices your kids sweat Mountain Dew. Now, this is bigger than America's ass. I know that's hard to believe so indulge me. This is about the Teabaggers fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between freedom, and the freedom to never be told anything. Like avoid food served in a bucket...

It's just a tradition that First Ladies get to pick some mundane up until now non-controversial cause to promote. Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, Barbara Bush had literacy. Betty Ford's was no hard liquor before 10 AM. Our last First Lady Laura Bush worked tirelessly against illiteracy, so between her efforts and her husband's, it was a tie. Hillary Clinton did pioneering work in looking the other way...

Now when I look at a Moon Pie, I just see sugar and trans fats, not my constitutional freedoms, but Sarah Palin recently brought sugar cookies to a school as a protest against the government telling the school what to eat, which of course, it wasn't doing. Sean Hannity warned that we'd soon be paying fines for eating salt, which isn't a problem for Hannity who mostly eats boogers.

When did the right wing become Joe Pesci over every little thing? You sayin' I use too much salt? What am I salty to you? fark you, I use too much salt. Here take some salt right down your throat. I mean 40 years ago when Lady Bird Johnson suggested we plant wild flowers to beautify the highways, the reaction was it sounds like a neat idea, not don't tell me what I can plant, biatch. Matt Drudge promoted a story saying pedestrian deaths were way up because The Evil One, Michelle Obama had encouraged people to walk more.....directly into traffic. Those were her exact words. Walk into traffic.

Now I'm not saying the ...

Ooo! Let me!

"He said 'teabaggers' so every spot on point he made is automatically potato"


Which is then countered with how they called themselves that originally, followed by picture proof.
 
2013-01-22 10:59:28 AM

Vlad_the_Inaner: I never knew that pizza chains were not allowed to assume their customers could do simple addition.

Base calories plus topping plus topping etc.

Just wow.


Most pizza orders are placed over the phone and not in-person, so the regulation is pointless.
 
2013-01-22 11:04:02 AM

machoprogrammer: Granny_Panties: Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.

[www.fitnessforhumans.com image 293x285]

Yeah, what a fat ass!


Wow, he knows Arnold personally?
 
2013-01-22 11:05:34 AM
Mr. Schumer's home town of New York already requires all fast-food chains to post calorie counts.
And soon the rest of the country will have to follow suit. Mr. Obama's health law includes that same requirement.


OH

MY

GOD


It is DEFINITELY torches and pitchforks time... How dare they stipulate that the fast food chains HAVE to be honest with the consumer?
 
2013-01-22 11:05:54 AM

Diogenes: "If you think Michelle Obama is after your freedom because she merely suggests that our kids should exercise more and eat a little broccoli with their lard, you don't deserve a place in the free market of ideas, you belong at the cheesecake factory. She's not Stalin because she notices your kids sweat Mountain Dew. Now, this is bigger than America's ass. I know that's hard to believe so indulge me. This is about the Teabaggers fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between freedom, and the freedom to never be told anything. Like avoid food served in a bucket...

It's just a tradition that First Ladies get to pick some mundane up until now non-controversial cause to promote. Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, Barbara Bush had literacy. Betty Ford's was no hard liquor before 10 AM. Our last First Lady Laura Bush worked tirelessly against illiteracy, so between her efforts and her husband's, it was a tie. Hillary Clinton did pioneering work in looking the other way...

Now when I look at a Moon Pie, I just see sugar and trans fats, not my constitutional freedoms, but Sarah Palin recently brought sugar cookies to a school as a protest against the government telling the school what to eat, which of course, it wasn't doing. Sean Hannity warned that we'd soon be paying fines for eating salt, which isn't a problem for Hannity who mostly eats boogers.

When did the right wing become Joe Pesci over every little thing? You sayin' I use too much salt? What am I salty to you? fark you, I use too much salt. Here take some salt right down your throat. I mean 40 years ago when Lady Bird Johnson suggested we plant wild flowers to beautify the highways, the reaction was it sounds like a neat idea, not don't tell me what I can plant, biatch. Matt Drudge promoted a story saying pedestrian deaths were way up because The Evil One, Michelle Obama had encouraged people to walk more.....directly into traffic. Those were her exact words. Walk into traffic.

Now I'm not saying the ...


assets0.ordienetworks.com
 
2013-01-22 11:08:47 AM

Granny_Panties: Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.

Republicans: Do as I say, not as I do I'm a fat liar.


They prefer the term "big boned".
 
2013-01-22 11:09:10 AM

thurstonxhowell: [yeahshesaidit.com image 450x310]

I'm reposting this image because, damn, that deserves to be posted twice. That woman is in her late 40s, raised two kids, has been quite successful professionally, and looks like that. Barack knows how to pick 'em. I'm nearly two decades her junior and I'd be proud to hit that. Even if she was just some chick I met in a bar.


Amen. Absolutely, positively, black-baptist-preacher-on-Christmas-morning, AMEN!
 
2013-01-22 11:10:29 AM

thurstonxhowell: [yeahshesaidit.com image 450x310]

I'm reposting this image because, damn, that deserves to be posted twice. That woman is in her late 40s, raised two kids, has been quite successful professionally, and looks like that. Barack knows how to pick 'em. I'm nearly two decades her junior and I'd be proud to hit that. Even if she was just some chick I met in a bar.


I have to say that she REALLY needs to work on her "jammin' to the tunes' face. I watched the Kennedy Center Awards this year, and I still don't understand how the right decided not to ride her for her music expression. She looked pissed listening to the music she obviously actually liked. She dodged a bullet on that one, considering the stupid shiat they beat her up over.
 
2013-01-22 11:15:04 AM

utah dude: my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.


I've been monitoring my stepsons to see if they are being fed full of propaganda at school around here. With the farking Eagle Forum carrying so much power in this state(Or the Sutherland Institute), you never know. It's tough to explain politics to them, and not influence their choices, allowing them to make their own, especially with the idiocy that is mostly on the Right's side of the aisle. It helps that I explain WHY side A is making such a stupid claim, and if there is any truth to the claim, it's really hard when the "Why' breaks down to "Well, the GOP is a bunch of whiny jack-holes.", there's just no way to present tose oh-so-frequent instances.
 
2013-01-22 11:17:21 AM

machoprogrammer: Granny_Panties: Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.

[www.fitnessforhumans.com image 293x285]

Yeah, what a fat ass!



1) Old pic
2) Do you know what he had to do to get like that?
3) Mr. Universe is a superlative for a reason
 
2013-01-22 11:21:50 AM

machoprogrammer: Granny_Panties: Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.

[www.fitnessforhumans.com image 293x285]

Yeah, what a fat ass!


you'd get a fair amount of argument from the Republicans I know here in Georgia that Arnold doesn't qualify as one.
 
2013-01-22 11:28:53 AM

machoprogrammer: Granny_Panties: Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.

[www.fitnessforhumans.com image 293x285]

Yeah, what a fat ass!


Granny_Panties personally knows the Governator? That's awesome!
 
2013-01-22 11:34:07 AM

Mikey1969: I've been monitoring my stepsons to see if they are being fed full of propaganda at school around here. With the farking Eagle Forum carrying so much power in this state(Or the Sutherland Institute), you never know. It's tough to explain politics to them, and not influence their choices, allowing them to make their own, especially with the idiocy that is mostly on the Right's side of the aisle. It helps that I explain WHY side A is making such a stupid claim, and if there is any truth to the claim, it's really hard when the "Why' breaks down to "Well, the GOP is a bunch of whiny jack-holes.", there's just no way to present tose oh-so-frequent instances.


they're gonna be exposed to propaganda, your job is: beyond 18 y.o.'s to start repairing the damage, there's only so much correcting you can do 'in-play' without cheating them out of the Benefits of a Newer and Stronger Germany(tm).
 
2013-01-22 11:34:53 AM
Yes, this is definitely what I'm going to get outraged about today. Definitely.
 
2013-01-22 11:41:33 AM

Gulper Eel: I think he's Level IV vegan, which means he won't eat anything that casts a shadow unless it's got nice plump tits.


This got you funnied and forced espresso through my nostrils in an extraordinarily unpleasant manner.
 
2013-01-22 11:43:44 AM
This reminds me of when I'm told a steak Chipotle burrito with guac, cheese, and sour cream has 5,000 calories and since the law requires you eat the whole thing then this means that Colonel Sanders is now president and his first decree is "I'm too drunk to taste this chicken."
 
2013-01-22 11:44:10 AM

Mikey1969: utah dude: my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.

I've been monitoring my stepsons to see if they are being fed full of propaganda at school around here. With the farking Eagle Forum carrying so much power in this state(Or the Sutherland Institute), you never know. It's tough to explain politics to them, and not influence their choices, allowing them to make their own, especially with the idiocy that is mostly on the Right's side of the aisle. It helps that I explain WHY side A is making such a stupid claim, and if there is any truth to the claim, it's really hard when the "Why' breaks down to "Well, the GOP is a bunch of whiny jack-holes.", there's just no way to present tose oh-so-frequent instances.


You can always say, "This is how I see it. This is my opinion." Frame it in the context that you're not thundering down Absolute Truth That Must Not Be Questioned.

It's either that, or you go the "fair and balanced" route, and I think we know how that ends up.
 
2013-01-22 11:50:12 AM
3,000 calorie lunch once every 4 years? You'll be ok.
 
2013-01-22 11:56:26 AM

Vlad_the_Inaner: I never knew that pizza chains were not allowed to assume their customers could do simple addition.

Base calories plus topping plus topping etc.

Just wow.


That's how the menus work here in NYC.

Even in other places (chipolte, Chilis, etc). Its main item XXX cal, and then a list of the typical add-ons with their calories (cheese, mayo, tomato, etc)

you dont list every possible combination, unless you are offering a recommended combination (like the special pizzas in CPK).
 
2013-01-22 11:57:50 AM
There is nothing in the Constitution that requires me to do math.
 
2013-01-22 12:02:19 PM

Kibbler: It's either that, or you go the "fair and balanced" route, and I think we know how that ends up.


there's only so much correcting you can do 'in-play' without cheating them out of the Benefits of a Newer and Stronger Germany(tm).
 
2013-01-22 12:03:06 PM
just favorited Kibbler. :)
 
2013-01-22 12:07:15 PM

Kibbler: Mikey1969: utah dude: my son is all like DAD, MICHELLE OBAMA TOOK THE CHICKEN SANDWICH AWAY THAT WAS GOOD AND REPLACED IT WITH SOMETHING CALLED A 'MEAT SANDWICH' WHICH ISN'T GOOD.

and i'm all like, son, i want you to stay as far away from michelle's meat sandwich as you can, ok?

kid doesn't even know the awesome joke he cracked.

I've been monitoring my stepsons to see if they are being fed full of propaganda at school around here. With the farking Eagle Forum carrying so much power in this state(Or the Sutherland Institute), you never know. It's tough to explain politics to them, and not influence their choices, allowing them to make their own, especially with the idiocy that is mostly on the Right's side of the aisle. It helps that I explain WHY side A is making such a stupid claim, and if there is any truth to the claim, it's really hard when the "Why' breaks down to "Well, the GOP is a bunch of whiny jack-holes.", there's just no way to present tose oh-so-frequent instances.

You can always say, "This is how I see it. This is my opinion." Frame it in the context that you're not thundering down Absolute Truth That Must Not Be Questioned.

It's either that, or you go the "fair and balanced" route, and I think we know how that ends up.


Actually that IS how I do it. I say 'You might hear me baitching about it, but here's why:' I tell 'em as much about both sides as I can, and make sure to tell them that they are free to interpret the situation any way they want. By explaining why I might feel a certain way, I take away that' Well he sees it such-and-such way, so I should follow suit. ' mindset as much as I can.

Don't know if it's working, but it makes me feel better at least.
 
2013-01-22 12:11:29 PM
Wolf!
 
2013-01-22 12:21:21 PM

Diogenes: It's just a tradition that First Ladies get to pick some mundane up until now non-controversial cause to promote. Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, Barbara Bush had literacy. Betty Ford's was no hard liquor before 10 AM. Our last First Lady Laura Bush worked tirelessly against illiteracy, so between her efforts and her husband's, it was a tie. Hillary Clinton did pioneering work in looking the other way...


You magnificent bastard.
 
2013-01-22 12:24:47 PM
Well, at least the comments on TFA are sensible and refreshing.**

**much like any "smokin hot babe" on the main tab
 
2013-01-22 12:47:15 PM

Diogenes: "If you think Michelle Obama is after your freedom because she merely suggests that our kids should exercise more and eat a little broccoli with their lard, you don't deserve a place in the free market of ideas, you belong at the cheesecake factory. She's not Stalin because she notices your kids sweat Mountain Dew. Now, this is bigger than America's ass. I know that's hard to believe so indulge me. This is about the Teabaggers fundamental misunderstanding of the difference between freedom, and the freedom to never be told anything. Like avoid food served in a bucket...

It's just a tradition that First Ladies get to pick some mundane up until now non-controversial cause to promote. Lady Bird Johnson beautifying America, Barbara Bush had literacy. Betty Ford's was no hard liquor before 10 AM. Our last First Lady Laura Bush worked tirelessly against illiteracy, so between her efforts and her husband's, it was a tie. Hillary Clinton did pioneering work in looking the other way...

Now when I look at a Moon Pie, I just see sugar and trans fats, not my constitutional freedoms, but Sarah Palin recently brought sugar cookies to a school as a protest against the government telling the school what to eat, which of course, it wasn't doing. Sean Hannity warned that we'd soon be paying fines for eating salt, which isn't a problem for Hannity who mostly eats boogers.

When did the right wing become Joe Pesci over every little thing? You sayin' I use too much salt? What am I salty to you? fark you, I use too much salt. Here take some salt right down your throat. I mean 40 years ago when Lady Bird Johnson suggested we plant wild flowers to beautify the highways, the reaction was it sounds like a neat idea, not don't tell me what I can plant, biatch. Matt Drudge promoted a story saying pedestrian deaths were way up because The Evil One, Michelle Obama had encouraged people to walk more.....directly into traffic. Those were her exact words. Walk into traffic.

Now I'm not saying the ...


Yup
 
2013-01-22 12:47:40 PM
You didn't have to eat it all, pigmitter.
 
2013-01-22 01:04:39 PM

machoprogrammer: Granny_Panties: Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.

[www.fitnessforhumans.com image 293x285]

Yeah, what a fat ass!


Yes - yea indeed:
spokesgeek.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-01-22 01:33:13 PM
The thing about a banquet is that it is a special occasion, not every day eating.

I grew up with an obese parent. Fortunately, I had a rapid metabolism at the time. When I had adult roommates in my 20s, I was surprised that people did not have dessert after every dinner. I'm glad I learned that, because I was spared my parent's fate. (It's useful because I can wear every outfit in my closet, which has clothing older than some farkers)
 
2013-01-22 01:54:36 PM

oldfarthenry: machoprogrammer: Granny_Panties: Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.

[www.fitnessforhumans.com image 293x285]

Yeah, what a fat ass!

Yes - yea indeed:
[spokesgeek.files.wordpress.com image 250x350]


To be fair he did lose quite a bid of weight prior to Expendables 2. He isn't the Mr. Universe at age 20 but for 65 he looks pretty good now.
 
2013-01-22 01:59:28 PM

lordjupiter: 1) Old pic
2) Do you know what he had to do to get like that?
3) Mr. Universe is a superlative for a reason



1. I know.
2. Lots of working out and lots of anabolic steroids and diuretics :)
3. I know
 
2013-01-22 02:02:24 PM
I am impressed that powerful elite do not choke on their own hypocrisy while wolfing down a meal that could feed a city worth of hungry people. Indulge, my betters, you are entitled.
 
2013-01-22 02:05:45 PM

Fart_Machine: To be fair he did lose quite a bid of weight prior to Expendables 2. He isn't the Mr. Universe at age 20 but for 65 he looks pretty good now.


Even when that picture was taken, on a bad day he could probably pick up more than most regular joes 40 years younger than him.
 
2013-01-22 02:09:47 PM

thomps: even worse, the lunch cost the american tax payer $13 billion. thanks for nothing moochelle.


$13b each!
 
2013-01-22 02:09:54 PM

oldfarthenry: machoprogrammer: Granny_Panties: Every Republican I personally know is fat and ALL of them claim they hardly eat.

[www.fitnessforhumans.com image 293x285]

Yeah, what a fat ass!

Yes - yea indeed:
[spokesgeek.files.wordpress.com image 250x350]


65 years old. Most people can only hope to be in 1/2 that shape at that time.
 
2013-01-22 02:34:09 PM

RandomExcess: I am impressed that powerful elite do not choke on their own hypocrisy while wolfing down a meal that could feed a city worth of hungry people. Indulge, my betters, you are entitled.


I am impressed that there are so many ALTs with "Random" in their title that spew nothing but derp.

NTTAWWT, of course, have as many ALTs as you need to convince no one.
 
2013-01-22 02:43:38 PM
POUTRAGE!
 
2013-01-22 02:47:14 PM

incendi: Guess what, fatties: you are not obligated to eat every last crumb on your plate, even at a high-profile event. So even though the menu may top out at 3000 calories, you don't actually have to consume more than you want to. Also, some people eat 3000 calorie meals every now and then and do just fine, because they actually go out and move their bodies every once in a while.

In short, fark you WT, and for everyone else:
baka-san: Nothing to see here, move along.


Seriously... You can have upwards of 15000 calories a day and still lose weight if you are active enough.

Non-story.
 
2013-01-22 03:06:03 PM
So it was equal to a Burger King Milkshake?
 
2013-01-22 03:18:50 PM

Contents Under Pressure: The thing about a banquet is that it is a special occasion, not every day eating.

I grew up with an obese parent. Fortunately, I had a rapid metabolism at the time. When I had adult roommates in my 20s, I was surprised that people did not have dessert after every dinner. I'm glad I learned that, because I was spared my parent's fate. (It's useful because I can wear every outfit in my closet, which has clothing older than some farkers)


When I first got married, my wife's kids had "dessert" after dinner every night, which generally meant cookies. As many as they wanted. I started doing the grocery shopping, and I found that a bag of cookies bought on Sunday was 2/3 gone on Monday night, and somehow, the other 1/3 were gone by the time the kids went to school on Tuesday.

That came to a screaming halt.
 
2013-01-22 04:36:12 PM

Rann Xerox: There are two things that I love about seeing the Washington Times logo on threads:

- Warns me not to click the article so as not to give them any traffic.
- Reminds me that Sun Myung Moon is dead as fried chicken.


Chicken's supposed to be dead before you fry it?

Well, that explains the burning oil all over the kitchen.
 
2013-01-22 05:33:40 PM
I'd post the cartoon of a morbidly obese M00cherella chowing on a pile of burgers while a huge-eared Fartdingo nibbles an absurdly tiny salad, but yanno, I'm just too fat and lazy and can't be bothered.

/shut up and PASS THE bacon!
 
2013-01-22 05:42:59 PM
So after all the birthers and teabaggers, this is what we're left with?
 
2013-01-22 05:43:01 PM

someonelse: likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.

I think he even went vegan.


Q: How you can tell when someone's a vegan?

A: Don't worry; she'll tell you.
 
2013-01-22 05:59:38 PM
If you ate an Obama inaugural lunch 3 meals a day infinitely you'd end up weighing 900 lbs. Thats like double hoverround weight.
 
2013-01-22 07:35:06 PM

BMulligan: someonelse: likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.

I think he even went vegan.

Q: How you can tell when someone's a vegan?

A: Don't worry; she'll tell you.


How can you tell when someone's a meat eater? It's not hard, he's the smelly fat person roasting the corpses of dead animals, stuffing them in his mouth, and whining "OMG, vegans are so preachy!"
 
2013-01-22 07:37:27 PM

BMulligan: someonelse: likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.

I think he even went vegan.

Q: How you can tell when someone's a vegan?

A: Don't worry; she'll tell you.


Alternative response:
 
2013-01-22 07:38:23 PM
Aw, dammit.
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-22 08:15:20 PM

Parthenogenetic: BMulligan: someonelse: likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.

I think he even went vegan.

Q: How you can tell when someone's a vegan?

A: Don't worry; she'll tell you.

How can you tell when someone's a meat eater? It's not hard, he's the smelly fat person roasting the corpses of dead animals, stuffing them in his mouth, and whining "OMG, vegans are so preachy!"


I'm sorry you didn't find my little joke amusing. The vegan who told it to me thought it was kind of funny.
 
2013-01-22 08:34:16 PM

Crabs_Can_Polevault: Don't Troll Me Bro!: For years I've been asking people butthurt about the First Lady's initiatives to state where she says that you can never have dessert, or eat a big meal on occasion. Of course nobody has ever been able to, because that's not what she's advocating. Listen, right-wingers, building strawmen might feel good at the time because you can knock them right over, but it really has a negative impact on your actual debate skills. It's not good for you in the long run. Of course, it seems that's a lot of what modern "conservatism" in America is about, so there's that.

So wait, are you telling me that a steady diet of strawmen and fallacious arguments will make one's debating skills flabby, ineffective, and unattractive? That they may be good as a "sometimes" talking point, but one should generally adhere to the solid foundations of a good, square presentation and consideration of facts to keep one's ability to debate in lean, fighting trim?

All very well and good to know, I guess, but you know, there are people in this country whose dialogue skills are weak, emaciated... frankly, they're starving for a proper argument, but they're so used to the fact-free fluff that they get from their usual sources that they're critically malinformed.

It's true what they say: the foundations to healthy thinking habits start young.


That was brilliant on so many levels. Beautifully played.
 
2013-01-22 08:51:58 PM

machoprogrammer: lordjupiter: 1) Old pic
2) Do you know what he had to do to get like that?
3) Mr. Universe is a superlative for a reason


1. I know.
2. Lots of working out and lots of anabolic steroids and diuretics :)
3. I know


4. Be 22 years old.
 
2013-01-22 09:17:49 PM
violetvolume: thomps: even worse, the lunch cost the american tax payer $13 billion. thanks for nothing moochelle.

$13b each!


PER BITE!!!
 
2013-01-23 03:09:40 AM
The Washington Times is so adorable... they think they're a real paper!
 
2013-01-23 06:15:46 AM
Back in November, there was a news piece about how the average American consumes between 4,000-5,000 calories on Thanksgiving, well above the calorie count of the inauguration lunch.

But yes, this is surely an outrage that a special banquet was held on a special occasion.
 
2013-01-23 08:24:29 AM

BMulligan: Parthenogenetic: BMulligan: someonelse: likefunbutnot: Gulper Eel: Hell, I want to see what Bill Clinton's been eating (obvious joke goes here).

His pimpness has been on a vegetarian diet, actually.

I think he even went vegan.

Q: How you can tell when someone's a vegan?

A: Don't worry; she'll tell you.

How can you tell when someone's a meat eater? It's not hard, he's the smelly fat person roasting the corpses of dead animals, stuffing them in his mouth, and whining "OMG, vegans are so preachy!"

I'm sorry you didn't find my little joke amusing. The vegan who told it to me thought it was kind of funny. I found the vegan


It was a setup. You muffed it.
 
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