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(Deadspin)   Roget Goodell being eaten by a giant vagina   (deadspin.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Roger Goodell, New Orleans, Super Bowl, Times Picayune  
•       •       •

4265 clicks; posted to Sports » on 22 Jan 2013 at 12:18 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2013-01-21 10:52:50 PM  
Isn't that cannibalism?
 
2013-01-21 11:14:50 PM  
Epic. I'm so loving this Super Bowl already.
 
2013-01-21 11:18:40 PM  
om nom nom nom
 
2013-01-21 11:21:32 PM  
What's another word for tacky?
 
2013-01-22 12:02:24 AM  
I've seen worse on Bourbon Street at 3 AM.
 
2013-01-22 12:03:42 AM  
Wow.
 
2013-01-22 12:06:21 AM  
Classy as always NOLA.
 
2013-01-22 12:06:40 AM  
Hahaha...oh, it'll be a fun two weeks.
 
2013-01-22 12:09:02 AM  
Reminds me of American Gods
 
2013-01-22 12:20:23 AM  
Is that the thesaurus guy?
 
2013-01-22 12:24:47 AM  
I thought subby was speaking metaphorically....I thought wrong.
 
2013-01-22 12:30:20 AM  
This looks like a good time. Probably too late and expensive to fly and stay for a couple days.
Anyone know?
 
2013-01-22 12:31:11 AM  
It's a big pink mother from outer space, ant it's MAD!
 
2013-01-22 12:32:08 AM  
I was not expecting that to be a literal telling of events
 
2013-01-22 12:32:17 AM  
The vag is mightier than thesaurus
 
2013-01-22 12:33:31 AM  
Fark you Roget!
 
2013-01-22 12:34:41 AM  
Roget is a worse commissioner than Gary Bergman.
 
2013-01-22 12:38:55 AM  

4NSpy: Roget is a worse commissioner than Gary Bergman.


Bergman is the worstest!
 
2013-01-22 12:42:55 AM  
I didn't click. Was it Belichick?
 
2013-01-22 12:43:15 AM  
Is it me or does Selig come away from the last few tears of multi-sport shenanigans as the better (comparatively, I hate to use best because dear god there's room for improvement) commissioner of the big 4?
 
2013-01-22 12:45:46 AM  
What the hell?

ChrisDe: I didn't click. Was it Belichick?


Belichicks with dicks, man. Don't look.
 
2013-01-22 12:48:01 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-01-22 12:49:53 AM  

neuroflare: Is it me or does Selig come away from the last few tears of multi-sport shenanigans as the better (comparatively, I hate to use best because dear god there's room for improvement) commissioner of the big 4?


Eh, it's just not as fresh with him.

In the end, what do we all really care about the business end of this stuff? It's entertainment, I don't need to worry about the long term financials of a favorite diversion any more than Roget, Bergman and the rest of them give a crap about my 401K. It's all drama. As long as they're putting something on the field, someone will watch.

Granted, this won't stop us biatching about it. Fark 'em all!
 
2013-01-22 12:55:07 AM  
I am shocked, just shocked, that the good folks in NoLa would have a less-than-stellar opinion of Mr. Goodell.

I half expect there to be a sudden illness in Goodell's family which would prevent him from attending the Super Bowl.
 
2013-01-22 12:56:32 AM  
The commissioner who now stands before you was caught red-handed showing feelings. Showing feelings of an almost human nature.
 
2013-01-22 01:00:16 AM  

timswar: I half expect there to be a sudden illness in Goodell's family which would prevent him from attending the Super Bowl.


Why? You think the stadium will be full of Saints fans? It will be 1%ers from all over the country.
 
2013-01-22 01:00:59 AM  
Taints fans, always bitter.

Face it, your team farked up and got slapped for it, lets not act like its going to get better when you lose players next year.
 
2013-01-22 01:02:46 AM  
Jeez, you got a big pussy. Jeez, you got a big pussy.
 
2013-01-22 01:04:37 AM  

slayer199: I thought subby was speaking metaphorically....I thought wrong.


Next they will come for your children...

images49.fotki.com

...oh dear lord, we're too late.
 
2013-01-22 01:07:27 AM  

neuroflare: Is it me or does Selig come away from the last few tears of multi-sport shenanigans as the better (comparatively, I hate to use best because dear god there's room for improvement) commissioner of the big 4?


I don't know. The tampering with the All-Star game. Moving the Brewers to the NL then moving the Astros to the AL. The constant tinkering with the play-offs (also included with the all-star game). The LA Dodgers fiasco and general "old boys club" for ownership. Baseball isn't really smelling like roses either.

For the NBA Stern has the whole "sorry Lakers, but your Chris Paul is in another castle" thing and the "Supersonics? Lol, who would want a team named the Supersonics?" thing, but much less tinkering and cockblockery outside of those major incidents. Yes I think the NBA lock out doesn't exactly fit into that morass since there are a number of NBA teams that are losing money and true talent is spread too thin. They have to cut down on teams, but no one wants to be the commissioner who over saw of removal half of the leagues teams even if it the best long term solution, so I give him a partial pass on that.

Goodell has a gold mine sport which can't lose money, but he also has a god complex.

Bettman is a douche, and his sport has no money so I don't really give him as much flack as I give Goodell. So if I had to rank them it would be:

Stern
Selig
Bettman
Goodell

I don't know enough about soccer/football to make any comments on Don Garber, but I would put him at the top of the list just for staying out of the national media.
 
2013-01-22 01:12:13 AM  

mamoru: Jeez, you got a big pussy. Jeez, you got a big pussy.


Why did you say it twice????
 
2013-01-22 01:12:37 AM  
Is that Kevin Federline escorting that float? I guess if anyone would know what it's like to be eaten by a giant vagina, it would be him.
 
2013-01-22 01:13:23 AM  

Triumph: timswar: I half expect there to be a sudden illness in Goodell's family which would prevent him from attending the Super Bowl.

Why? You think the stadium will be full of Saints fans? It will be 1%ers from all over the country.


Contest winners and reality tv stars to cross promote for the network.
 
2013-01-22 01:17:18 AM  

steamingpile: mamoru: Jeez, you got a big pussy. Jeez, you got a big pussy.

Why did you say it twice????


That was an echo. Jeez
 
2013-01-22 01:21:35 AM  

4NSpy: Roget is a worse commissioner than Gary Bergman.


At least Goodell lets them play something remotely resembling football!

/F*ck you Bergman.
//And yeah, Goodell too.
 
2013-01-22 01:22:49 AM  

4NSpy: Roget is a worse commissioner than Gary Bergman.


Buck Henderson: Fark you Roget!


He should've stayed in the thesaurus business and left football alone.
 
2013-01-22 01:25:08 AM  

4NSpy: Roget is a worse commissioner than Gary Bergman.


LOL...Roget and Bergman, I love it.

Something else I love, having a present for king butthurt of the Falcon fanbase.
i63.photobucket.com

Make sure to soothe your own sore taint with that one.
 
2013-01-22 01:25:48 AM  

degenerate-afro: neuroflare: Is it me or does Selig come away from the last few tears of multi-sport shenanigans as the better (comparatively, I hate to use best because dear god there's room for improvement) commissioner of the big 4?

I don't know. The tampering with the All-Star game. Moving the Brewers to the NL then moving the Astros to the AL. The constant tinkering with the play-offs (also included with the all-star game). The LA Dodgers fiasco and general "old boys club" for ownership. Baseball isn't really smelling like roses either.

For the NBA Stern has the whole "sorry Lakers, but your Chris Paul is in another castle" thing and the "Supersonics? Lol, who would want a team named the Supersonics?" thing, but much less tinkering and cockblockery outside of those major incidents. Yes I think the NBA lock out doesn't exactly fit into that morass since there are a number of NBA teams that are losing money and true talent is spread too thin. They have to cut down on teams, but no one wants to be the commissioner who over saw of removal half of the leagues teams even if it the best long term solution, so I give him a partial pass on that.

Goodell has a gold mine sport which can't lose money, but he also has a god complex.

Bettman is a douche, and his sport has no money so I don't really give him as much flack as I give Goodell. So if I had to rank them it would be:

Stern
Selig
Bettman
Goodell

I don't know enough about soccer/football to make any comments on Don Garber, but I would put him at the top of the list just for staying out of the national media.


I really can't hate on Selig (that much).

Yeah, the ASG thing is beyond stupid, but I actually think the expanded playoffs (to what we have right now.. this is the sweet spot. no more) is a -good- thing for the league, if not a -great- thing overall.
While I think the Brewers thing was dirty pool, the right move was made with the Dodgers. McCourt was in the process of driving the game's second most-valuable franchise straight into the ground (in a way that would've made the Wilpons pause and say "damn!") and had to be stopped. No real bones about the Astros thing either; it made the most sense in terms of logistics and timing. As far as the "old boys club", that falls more at the feet of the owners as a whole than at Selig specifically.
 
2013-01-22 01:25:57 AM  
Apparently there's also another float of him farking a dog that's in the article. This is gonna be a fun two weeks.
 
2013-01-22 01:37:38 AM  
Wow, I'm sure all female saints fans love that. Nice and insulting.

I don't really get the hate avg people have for commissioners- they are running the business for the owners, and the players have agreed to it. If you don't like the rules, don't play the game. And what they do has absolutely no affect on the fans personally. Get over it, it's just a stupid game in the end.
 
2013-01-22 01:39:04 AM  

The Bestest: degenerate-afro: neuroflare: Is it me or does Selig come away from the last few tears of multi-sport shenanigans as the better (comparatively, I hate to use best because dear god there's room for improvement) commissioner of the big 4?

I don't know. The tampering with the All-Star game. Moving the Brewers to the NL then moving the Astros to the AL. The constant tinkering with the play-offs (also included with the all-star game). The LA Dodgers fiasco and general "old boys club" for ownership. Baseball isn't really smelling like roses either.

For the NBA Stern has the whole "sorry Lakers, but your Chris Paul is in another castle" thing and the "Supersonics? Lol, who would want a team named the Supersonics?" thing, but much less tinkering and cockblockery outside of those major incidents. Yes I think the NBA lock out doesn't exactly fit into that morass since there are a number of NBA teams that are losing money and true talent is spread too thin. They have to cut down on teams, but no one wants to be the commissioner who over saw of removal half of the leagues teams even if it the best long term solution, so I give him a partial pass on that.

Goodell has a gold mine sport which can't lose money, but he also has a god complex.

Bettman is a douche, and his sport has no money so I don't really give him as much flack as I give Goodell. So if I had to rank them it would be:

Stern
Selig
Bettman
Goodell

I don't know enough about soccer/football to make any comments on Don Garber, but I would put him at the top of the list just for staying out of the national media.

I really can't hate on Selig (that much).

Yeah, the ASG thing is beyond stupid, but I actually think the expanded playoffs (to what we have right now.. this is the sweet spot. no more) is a -good- thing for the league, if not a -great- thing overall.
While I think the Brewers thing was dirty pool, the right move was made with the Dodgers. McCourt was in the process of driving the game's second most-valuable franchise straight into the ground (in a way that would've made the Wilpons pause and say "damn!") and had to be stopped. No real bones about the Astros thing either; it made the most sense in terms of logistics and timing. As far as the "old boys club", that falls more at the feet of the owners as a whole than at Selig specifically.


Sucks for Astros fans though. Both of us
 
2013-01-22 02:24:46 AM  
I was waiting for Disney to just outright purchase the NFL.
 
2013-01-22 03:54:22 AM  

degenerate-afro: Stern
Selig
Bettman
Goodell

I don't know enough about soccer/football to make any comments on Don Garber, but I would put him at the top of the list just for staying out of the national media.


Garber has run MLS since 1999 taken the league from laughingstock to solid stability. He's gotten them a bunch of TV time, expanded the league, 15 of the 19 teams have soccer-specific stadiums, the attendance at games is comparable to that of France's top flight... the guy knows exactly what he's doing.

Your January 2013 North American Sports Commissioner Competency Power Rankings:

1. Don Garber (MLS)
2. Bud Selig (MLB) (playoff expansion and interleague play have worked very well, league inequality has been fixed (and the Brewers move to the NL has worked out while the Astros were increasingly the odd team out), and I know everyone is in a big argument over the Hall of Fame vote, but I think Selig's right in not panicking and chalking it up as just part of the process as opposed to contriving some stupid procedure that throws open the door to everyone and their mother just because of one year where nobody got in. The zealousness to convict Ryan Braun to the point of firing the arbitrator that went against him is a black mark in the notebook, though, as was the leaning on the Astros to get an owner that would consent to a league change.)
3. Dana White (UFC) (some weak cards lately, but still a very stable product)
4. David Gross (MLL) (the sport of lacrosse is expanding outside the Northeast a bit)
5. Mark Cohon (CFL) (some delays in expanding the league, but patience is a virtue with things like that, and games are available on the NFL Network, which is a coup)
6. Brian France (NASCAR) (introduced playoffs and guaranteed fewer runaway season endgames, improved trackday experience, renewed focus on winning as opposed to points racing, but at the same time, the non-playoff drivers' fans lose interest and the TV coverage gets worse as the season goes on, plus too much focus on peripheral markets)
7. Tim Fincham (PGA) (two real issues: the attempt to retain star power after Tiger's fall from grace fell largely flat, and the fact that Q School was a neat way to provide excitement at the lower levels of the Tour and he killed off the direct route to the Tour it provided)
8. David Stern (NBA) (bit of a pompous meddling dick we have here)
9. Roger Goodell (NFL) (gigantic pompous meddling dick we have here whose head is way too big over the NFL's invincibility and handling the increasing calls for league safety all wrong)
10. Laurel J. Richie (WNBA) (just a churning mangled mess of a league where all the top players are pulling double duty in Europe)
11. Mitchell Mortaza (LFL) (the league was dying as it was with the college-frat-boy demographic not bringing in enough cash for them to survive, and it took some balls to throw the Hail Mary of putting clothes on. They might not survive with them on, but they were guaranteed to die with them off. If they can hang on for a season or two to provide proof of concept, Mortaza's next move ought to be to pursue a WNBA-like partnership with the NFL.)
12. Jerry Kurz (AFL) (no such Hail Mary, and the league has died once already under his watch; he's ahead of people because the league was at least brought back)
13. (tie) Gilberto Mendoza (WBA), Daryl J. Peoples (IBF), Jose Sulaiman (WBC), Francisco Varcarcel (WBO) (boxing, people? Really? You expected a good ranking from four different commissioners all doing their own thing in a sport that desperately needs someone to do something right for a change?)
14. Gary Bettman (NHL) (needs no introduction)
 
2013-01-22 04:45:03 AM  
Huh.
 
2013-01-22 04:48:41 AM  
James Harrison will be fined for this one.
 
2013-01-22 05:19:20 AM  

timswar: I half expect there to be a sudden illness in Goodell's family which would prevent him from attending the Super Bowl.


Naw, the Superdome has it's own little heliport. He'll be able to fly in without having to mix with the rabble.

JohnnyRebel88: This looks like a good time. Probably too late and expensive to fly and stay for a couple days.
Anyone know?


I believe the hotels are all pretty much booked solid already. I think at this point you'd need to know someone who you could stay with.
 
2013-01-22 05:52:52 AM  

Korzine: Naw, the Superdome has it's own little heliport. He'll be able to fly in without having to mix with the rabble.


Can you imagine the inconvenience of having to walk from the heliport and THEN all around the stadium?
 
2013-01-22 05:55:14 AM  
Roget Goodell being eaten by a giant vagina
Yep that is exactly what that is.
 
2013-01-22 06:00:17 AM  
When I click a link like this, I always know it won't literally be what the headline says. In this case...I was very very wrong.

/Pleasantly, and hilariously, surprised
 
2013-01-22 06:39:24 AM  

degenerate-afro: neuroflare: Is it me or does Selig come away from the last few tears of multi-sport shenanigans as the better (comparatively, I hate to use best because dear god there's room for improvement) commissioner of the big 4?

I don't know. The tampering with the All-Star game. Moving the Brewers to the NL then moving the Astros to the AL. The constant tinkering with the play-offs (also included with the all-star game). The LA Dodgers fiasco and general "old boys club" for ownership. Baseball isn't really smelling like roses either.

For the NBA Stern has the whole "sorry Lakers, but your Chris Paul is in another castle" thing and the "Supersonics? Lol, who would want a team named the Supersonics?" thing, but much less tinkering and cockblockery outside of those major incidents. Yes I think the NBA lock out doesn't exactly fit into that morass since there are a number of NBA teams that are losing money and true talent is spread too thin. They have to cut down on teams, but no one wants to be the commissioner who over saw of removal half of the leagues teams even if it the best long term solution, so I give him a partial pass on that.

Goodell has a gold mine sport which can't lose money, but he also has a god complex.

Bettman is a douche, and his sport has no money so I don't really give him as much flack as I give Goodell. So if I had to rank them it would be:

Stern
Selig
Bettman
Goodell


Selig is at the top of the list, if only because George Carlin remains validated and baseball is a more fun sport than football, and Stern will fine Mark Cuban for being bumped to second.

Bettman is at the bottoim for systematically destroying an almost century-old league.
 
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