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(The Scottish Sun)   Smoking hot 31-year-old blonde mum: "I'm stuck in my chair. I'm so very scared. Help" (w/pics)   (thescottishsun.co.uk) divider line 147
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48789 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2013 at 2:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-22 04:55:51 AM
i42.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-22 04:57:48 AM
i42.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-22 04:59:14 AM
i42.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-22 05:06:41 AM
Link Leave it up to the old farts farkers to link our history...
 
2013-01-22 05:13:48 AM
How to identify a smoking hot person from any realm of the UK.

www.moondragon.org
 
2013-01-22 05:42:58 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: The inability to grow out of the adolescent mindset is what's to blame here. Getting drunk and farking around with the kid's high chair are things that we'd expect college kids to do, not 31 year olds.

It used to be said that Baby Boomers were the 'Me generation', but it turns out that the Gen-X and Gen-Y groups aren't approaching mental maturity, despite reaching middle age.


I think the biggest difference between the generations is that now there are always cameras on-hand to document such instances of stupidity.

planes: Curse you, subbie ... I fell for it again.


You've been here for over 9 years, at this point it's as much your fault for falling for it.
 
2013-01-22 06:01:08 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: The inability to grow out of the adolescent mindset is what's to blame here. Getting drunk and farking around with the kid's high chair are things that we'd expect college kids to do, not 31 year olds.

It used to be said that Baby Boomers were the 'Me generation', but it turns out that the Gen-X and Gen-Y groups aren't approaching mental maturity, despite reaching middle age.


So, what's a responsible and mature guy like you doing up a 3AM reading mindless pap?
 
2013-01-22 06:10:40 AM

david_gaithersburg: I'm having trouble wrapping my head around what's going on in the background. What is a $12,000 Viking range doing in that shiathole of what appears to be a welfare apartment? Notice its a kitchen/laundry room going on there.


Poor people have stoves, wake up Sheeple! This is all Blackbongo's fault that poor people can cook food.
 
2013-01-22 06:25:23 AM
I'd hit it.
 
2013-01-22 06:31:51 AM
there's a better story there:

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/4754911/You-don t -need-a-boob-job-fake-tan-and-blonde-hair-to-be-sexy-says-32C-porcelai n-skinned-dark-haired-Page-3-winner-Mellisa-Clarke.html


NSFW, but hey, who are we kidding?
 
2013-01-22 06:34:46 AM
I found this amusing. The pic of her with a cigarette was a nice touch.
 
2013-01-22 06:48:06 AM

Insatiable Jesus: david_gaithersburg: I'm having trouble wrapping my head around what's going on in the background. What is a $12,000 Viking range doing in that shiathole of what appears to be a welfare apartment? Notice its a kitchen/laundry room going on there.

Poor people have stoves, wake up Sheeple! This is all Blackbongo's fault that poor people can cook food.


.
Fark had an article just yesterday about the current generation of college grads having the reading skills of a three year old.
 
2013-01-22 06:48:35 AM
smokin' average
 
Skr
2013-01-22 06:51:39 AM
Looked like Bondage with Easy Access™ gone wrong, in some of those pics. Not bad looking with a track record of making sketchy judgments (which possibly bumps her up a few points in some playbooks.)
She doesn't seem to feel the same level of terror as the ballsackconundrum inspires. No risk of degloving that I can see, heh.
 
2013-01-22 06:53:42 AM
img.photobucket.com


david_gaithersburg: Fark had an article just yesterday about the current generation of college grads having the reading skills of a three year old.


The fact that it looked like it was written by someone with the reading skills of a three-year-old notwithstanding...
 
2013-01-22 07:01:16 AM
That first picture made me laugh so freaking hard
 
2013-01-22 07:11:17 AM
Subby's standards appear to be way, way too high. The woman in the article is in no way a horrid, fugly monster:

img.thesun.co.uk
 
2013-01-22 07:16:44 AM

blankmangedeux: there's a better story there:

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/4754911/You-don t -need-a-boob-job-fake-tan-and-blonde-hair-to-be-sexy-says-32C-porcelai n-skinned-dark-haired-Page-3-winner-Mellisa-Clarke.html


NSFW, but hey, who are we kidding?


Hehe I was about to link that but I see it has already been taken care of :D
 
2013-01-22 07:23:31 AM
Don't laugh. it's hard to be outsmarted in life by a chair.
 
2013-01-22 07:28:54 AM
Nice tights, lady.
 
2013-01-22 07:41:12 AM

pkellmey: Don't laugh. it's hard to be outsmarted in life by a chair.


Don't tell that to Clint Eastwood.
 
2013-01-22 07:45:12 AM
Hittable?

img.thesun.co.uk

Well, since you're already in the right position...
 
2013-01-22 07:46:41 AM
She;s 'England' hot that's about it
 
2013-01-22 07:50:46 AM

Another Government Employee: I was expecting 400lbs.

Sadly, been there and done that.


What was that like?
 
2013-01-22 07:55:07 AM
She makes bad choices when drunk. Sign me up.
 
2013-01-22 07:55:42 AM

Frankenstorm: Another Government Employee: I was expecting 400lbs.

Sadly, been there and done that.

What was that like?


after several applications of flour, etc.....
 
2013-01-22 07:59:06 AM

blankmangedeux: Frankenstorm: Another Government Employee: I was expecting 400lbs.

Sadly, been there and done that.

What was that like?

after several applications of flour, etc.....


Yes, yes. The flour. That's obvious. I want other details.
 
2013-01-22 08:02:47 AM

Frankenstorm: blankmangedeux: Frankenstorm: Another Government Employee: I was expecting 400lbs.

Sadly, been there and done that.

What was that like?

after several applications of flour, etc.....

Yes, yes. The flour. That's obvious. I want other details.


I did have to use a headlamp and a rabbit.
 
2013-01-22 08:19:19 AM
I'd walk in there and see that, unzip and say, "damn lady, this just ain't your day!"
 
2013-01-22 08:20:51 AM
British hot.
 
2013-01-22 08:22:21 AM
Smoking hot? I don't think that means what you think it means subby.
 
2013-01-22 08:24:43 AM
Please, 3/4s of you wouldn't pass up having sex with her if she offered.  No matter how far "below your standards" you guys boast that she is.
 
2013-01-22 08:30:54 AM

blankmangedeux: http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/4754911/You-don t -need-a-boob-job-fake-tan-and-blonde-hair-to-be-sexy-says-32C-porcelai n-skinned-dark-haired-Page-3-winner-Mellisa-Clarke.html


The funniest thing about that link is the "don't need a boob job fake tan...". She doesn't need a fake tan, but they caked on so much foundation and whatever else on her face that it almost looks like a shoop.
 
2013-01-22 08:33:25 AM
Lets just hope "chairing" doesn't become a thing.
 
2013-01-22 08:34:00 AM

littlett's: Please, 3/4s of you wouldn't pass up having sex with her if she offered.  No matter how far "below your standards" you guys boast that she is.


Dont spoil it for them - they are on a roll, as it were
/i feel so dirty tying that
 
2013-01-22 08:35:29 AM

martid4: I'd walk in there and see that, unzip and say, "damn lady, this just ain't your day!"


If I wasn't a newlywed I would bang it like a drum
 
2013-01-22 08:35:52 AM

fusillade762: So I wonder which would be more frightening: The Ballsack Conundrum or The Labia Conundrum?


That's what I was expecting, though I did control-f for mudflap. A pinch on either would probably be just as sensitive, though if you have a ball on the wrong side of the slats you would be in more trouble.
 
2013-01-22 08:37:46 AM
What the?

How?

O.o
 
2013-01-22 08:42:18 AM
So here's what I'm wondering. TFA says she decided to sit in her son's chair, but looking at the pictures, she's facing the back of the seat. WTF?
 
2013-01-22 08:55:28 AM
Not that hot, although I would do her while she was stuck in the chair. That would be kinda fun.
 
2013-01-22 08:57:51 AM
This is what AFV was created for. This kind of thing, nutshots and dumb animal videos is why we are ahead of England. Soon there should be a UKFV show, which would be similar only with 'tea mishaps' videos in the mix.
 
2013-01-22 09:01:33 AM
she must have an enormous clitoris.
 
2013-01-22 09:04:23 AM
I'm just going to assume that the fire brigade used the Scissors of Life to cut an access hole in the rear of those horrid tights, and gave her a good rogering, before skipping out to the pub for a pint or two...
 
2013-01-22 09:05:50 AM

Popcorn Johnny: I think her labia are stuck.


Q: why does the Avon Lady walk funny?
A: her lipstick
 
2013-01-22 09:05:51 AM

littlett's: Please, 3/4s of you wouldn't pass up having sex with her if she offered.  No matter how far "below your standards" you guys boast that she is.


To be fair, girls rarely just "offer" to strangers. Getting in the sack usually requires effort. When a guy says that a girl isn't up to standards, it means that she's not worth the normal average effort of getting with her. At least, that's how I always read it. If you have to lower the effort required to "absolutely none, she just offers upon meeting you", then that's just sad :(

That said, she's not great looking, but she's not terrible. And you know she's willing to try weird things while drunk.
 
2013-01-22 09:06:31 AM

rickycal78: So here's what I'm wondering. TFA says she decided to sit in her son's chair, but looking at the pictures, she's facing the back of the seat. WTF?


She probably got herself into that position trying to get free from being stuck in the chair.
 
2013-01-22 09:08:31 AM
static.prtst.net
 
2013-01-22 09:13:20 AM
Maybe I'm remembering too many blonde jokes, but I read that as "I'm stuck in my car. I'm so very scared. Help"
 
2013-01-22 09:24:38 AM
So she got a little silly drinking with a friend on a night off from babby. Seems a good sport, most of the pics were from before the fire dept got there.
 
2013-01-22 09:26:55 AM

Xenomech: Subby's standards appear to be way, way too high. The woman in the article is in no way a horrid, fugly monster:


No 31 year-old "mum" is hot. It doesn't happen. After age 29, a woman's sexual and social value drops precipitously.

Actually, a woman's sexual value is her social value, mostly.

It's not that older women have zero value per se, but that their lives end up being confined to things like childcare and house cleaning and blowjobs and such.
 
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