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(The Scottish Sun)   Smoking hot 31-year-old blonde mum: "I'm stuck in my chair. I'm so very scared. Help" (w/pics)   (thescottishsun.co.uk) divider line 147
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48791 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jan 2013 at 2:48 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-21 10:09:23 PM  
She doesn't look too bad in the picture where the chair covers her face. The others...not so much
 
2013-01-21 10:11:58 PM  
Okay, I laughed at the 'Up sit creek' caption.
 
2013-01-21 10:15:47 PM  

Bob_Laublaw: Okay, I laughed at the 'Up sit creek' caption.


The Sun gets it right once in a while, I have to admit.
 
2013-01-21 10:15:57 PM  
Boobsack conundrum.
 
2013-01-21 10:21:19 PM  
Masturbate furiously.
 
2013-01-21 10:50:14 PM  
Six posts, and not one of the fat kid stuck in the chair with a sucker in his mouth?

For shame.
 
2013-01-21 10:56:53 PM  

kmmontandon: Six posts, and not one of the fat kid stuck in the chair with a sucker in his mouth?


I came looking for the "Look at me I'm an Attention Whore" text shopped onto the photo.
 
2013-01-21 11:21:03 PM  
Oh, please, God, I was hoping for a thread. It's 9:20 on a boring monday in the freezing Arizona mountains. I NEED this.

:(
 
2013-01-21 11:41:25 PM  
Bonus: She's a Curtis.
 
2013-01-21 11:50:25 PM  
I LOL'd and then I saw the cigarette and just lost it. Good stuff.
 
2013-01-21 11:50:40 PM  

CagedMan: She doesn't look too bad in the picture where the chair covers her face. The others...not so much


Hang on, let's get about 4 drinks in you.
 
2013-01-21 11:57:11 PM  

Zarquon's Flat Tire: CagedMan: She doesn't look too bad in the picture where the chair covers her face. The others...not so much

Hang on, let's get about 4 drinks in you.



Maybe 4 of these:

i47.tinypic.com
 
2013-01-21 11:59:18 PM  
At least she didn't drop her cig.
 
2013-01-22 12:01:26 AM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Oh, please, God, I was hoping for a thread. It's 9:20 on a boring monday in the freezing Arizona mountains. I NEED this.


What, it's like a whole 45 degrees or something?
 
2013-01-22 12:01:47 AM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-22 12:03:39 AM  
Yeah, I'd probably want a cigarette, too.
 
2013-01-22 12:06:13 AM  
But eventually the giggling pals had to call the fire brigade, who soon freed her.

Meanwhile, two animal shelters and an orphanage burned to the ground.  There were no survivors.
 
2013-01-22 12:14:08 AM  
So I wonder which would be more frightening: The Ballsack Conundrum or The Labia Conundrum?
 
2013-01-22 12:26:22 AM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-01-22 12:54:17 AM  
I think her labia are stuck.
 
2013-01-22 02:50:11 AM  
Did her pussy lips slip through the wooden slats??
 
2013-01-22 02:55:35 AM  

sariq: Boobsack conundrum.


Here for this. Ahh, the memories. Good times, good times. Wonder if he can walk upright by now?
 
2013-01-22 02:58:28 AM  
The inability to grow out of the adolescent mindset is what's to blame here. Getting drunk and farking around with the kid's high chair are things that we'd expect college kids to do, not 31 year olds.

It used to be said that Baby Boomers were the 'Me generation', but it turns out that the Gen-X and Gen-Y groups aren't approaching mental maturity, despite reaching middle age.
 
2013-01-22 03:01:43 AM  
I was envisioning her gigantic meat curtains causing a vacuum, sticking her to a plastic chair. In which case she'd be stuck on, rather than in, said chair. Anyway, I think I love her.
 
2013-01-22 03:01:51 AM  
I have looked at that highchair a few times now, and I think one thing- did they not have a non drunk neighbour in the flat next door who had a pair of pliers ? Also, Fake.
 
2013-01-22 03:03:21 AM  
Cmon, no link to the epic chair Fark thread?

Fark, I am disappoint...
 
2013-01-22 03:03:46 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-22 03:05:51 AM  
I blame Obama.


/Seriously though... those pictures.. are they possibly the very essence of "I fail at life"?
 
2013-01-22 03:10:07 AM  

DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 770x388]


Ya know for once she ain't that bad looking. Not sure I would call her smokin hot but she's smoking a cig so it isn't a full fledged lie. She looks better than a few of the one-nighters I've had.
 
2013-01-22 03:10:41 AM  
There is a very simple rule on Fark

when the link is to The Sun

and a smartarse subby invokes the 'hot' vocab

You are about to be lead down the garden path

/enjoy your stroll

//one day you will learn
 
2013-01-22 03:12:08 AM  

mjjt: You are about to be lead down the garden path


I lead myself down her garden path if you know what I'm saying and I think you do
 
2013-01-22 03:14:43 AM  
Needs help soonish?
 
2013-01-22 03:15:56 AM  
Smoking hot Dirt-stupid 31-year-old blonde mum
 
2013-01-22 03:16:34 AM  
2/10 would not bang

/I keed, I keed
//Like the fist of an angry god
 
2013-01-22 03:17:49 AM  

DanZero: [img.photobucket.com image 770x388]


Precisely.
 
2013-01-22 03:26:29 AM  

Summoner101: I lead myself down her garden path if you know what I'm saying and I think you do


"Garden" means "Vagina" right? Did I get it right? I mean we've got "Bush" and "De-Flower" and "Fertilize" and "Hoe" and "Plow" and "Turn over" and "Spray" and "Tossed Salad" and Tractor" and "Weed Whacker" and "Rusty Trowel" (hey, it could mean something right?) and "Mulch" and "Planting seeds" and "Climbing the beanstalk" and "Milking the cow" and "Riding the horse" and "Riding the Harvester until you get stuck on the seat with all of the orgasmic fluids emanating and such that eventually dry and make natures best glue" and did I mention "Vagina"?

/Vagina
 
2013-01-22 03:32:32 AM  
Family Guy already did it.
 
2013-01-22 03:33:01 AM  

Radioactive Ass: Summoner101: I lead myself down her garden path if you know what I'm saying and I think you do

"Garden" means "Vagina" right? Did I get it right? I mean we've got "Bush" and "De-Flower" and "Fertilize" and "Hoe" and "Plow" and "Turn over" and "Spray" and "Tossed Salad" and Tractor" and "Weed Whacker" and "Rusty Trowel" (hey, it could mean something right?) and "Mulch" and "Planting seeds" and "Climbing the beanstalk" and "Milking the cow" and "Riding the horse" and "Riding the Harvester until you get stuck on the seat with all of the orgasmic fluids emanating and such that eventually dry and make natures best glue" and did I mention "Vagina"?

/Vagina


You forgot "soiling her back yard." I mean, if you're into that sort of thing.
 
2013-01-22 03:37:28 AM  
If that's your idea of a "smoking hot" woman, then I feel bad for your standards.
 
2013-01-22 03:44:24 AM  
I'm sitting next to exactly the same make of high chair. It's 8.30am and I haven't had a drink since NYE...and yet I have a weird compulsion to try to climb into it.
 
2013-01-22 03:47:42 AM  
This one was actually sort of hot.  Not completely smoking, but quite hitable.

I see no reason to have called the fire department unless she just wanted to hit on firemen.  Seriously - are hack-saws outlawed in Britain?  Scissors to cut the sling.  Or start thinking like a Farker, pull her pants off and rub her down with butter, rather it gets her out or not is almost beside the point after you do that.
 
2013-01-22 03:50:43 AM  
While the kids were being looked after, the pair polished off two bottles of wine.

That happened after drinking a bottle apiece? Amateurs.
 
2013-01-22 03:51:20 AM  

MaxxRenn: If that's your idea of a "smoking hot" woman, then I feel bad for your standards.


Are you new here?
 
2013-01-22 03:53:43 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-01-22 04:09:35 AM  
What's her Fark handle?
 
2013-01-22 04:27:22 AM  
I'm having trouble wrapping my head around what's going on in the background. What is a $12,000 Viking range doing in that shiathole of what appears to be a welfare apartment? Notice its a kitchen/laundry room going on there.
 
2013-01-22 04:27:28 AM  
I was expecting 400lbs.

Sadly, been there and done that.
 
2013-01-22 04:27:54 AM  
the utter bull shiat that gets posted on my internet these days
 
2013-01-22 04:37:17 AM  

zerkalo: the utter bull shiat that gets posted on my internet these days


fark dot com didnot reach out and grab you. You  came here..
 
2013-01-22 04:43:02 AM  
Curse you, subbie ... I fell for it again.
 
2013-01-22 04:55:51 AM  
i42.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-22 04:57:48 AM  
i42.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-22 04:59:14 AM  
i42.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-22 05:06:41 AM  
Link Leave it up to the old farts farkers to link our history...
 
2013-01-22 05:13:48 AM  
How to identify a smoking hot person from any realm of the UK.

www.moondragon.org
 
2013-01-22 05:42:58 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: The inability to grow out of the adolescent mindset is what's to blame here. Getting drunk and farking around with the kid's high chair are things that we'd expect college kids to do, not 31 year olds.

It used to be said that Baby Boomers were the 'Me generation', but it turns out that the Gen-X and Gen-Y groups aren't approaching mental maturity, despite reaching middle age.


I think the biggest difference between the generations is that now there are always cameras on-hand to document such instances of stupidity.

planes: Curse you, subbie ... I fell for it again.


You've been here for over 9 years, at this point it's as much your fault for falling for it.
 
2013-01-22 06:01:08 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: The inability to grow out of the adolescent mindset is what's to blame here. Getting drunk and farking around with the kid's high chair are things that we'd expect college kids to do, not 31 year olds.

It used to be said that Baby Boomers were the 'Me generation', but it turns out that the Gen-X and Gen-Y groups aren't approaching mental maturity, despite reaching middle age.


So, what's a responsible and mature guy like you doing up a 3AM reading mindless pap?
 
2013-01-22 06:10:40 AM  

david_gaithersburg: I'm having trouble wrapping my head around what's going on in the background. What is a $12,000 Viking range doing in that shiathole of what appears to be a welfare apartment? Notice its a kitchen/laundry room going on there.


Poor people have stoves, wake up Sheeple! This is all Blackbongo's fault that poor people can cook food.
 
2013-01-22 06:25:23 AM  
I'd hit it.
 
2013-01-22 06:31:51 AM  
there's a better story there:

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/4754911/You-don t -need-a-boob-job-fake-tan-and-blonde-hair-to-be-sexy-says-32C-porcelai n-skinned-dark-haired-Page-3-winner-Mellisa-Clarke.html


NSFW, but hey, who are we kidding?
 
2013-01-22 06:34:46 AM  
I found this amusing. The pic of her with a cigarette was a nice touch.
 
2013-01-22 06:48:06 AM  

Insatiable Jesus: david_gaithersburg: I'm having trouble wrapping my head around what's going on in the background. What is a $12,000 Viking range doing in that shiathole of what appears to be a welfare apartment? Notice its a kitchen/laundry room going on there.

Poor people have stoves, wake up Sheeple! This is all Blackbongo's fault that poor people can cook food.


.
Fark had an article just yesterday about the current generation of college grads having the reading skills of a three year old.
 
2013-01-22 06:48:35 AM  
smokin' average
 
Skr
2013-01-22 06:51:39 AM  
Looked like Bondage with Easy Access™ gone wrong, in some of those pics. Not bad looking with a track record of making sketchy judgments (which possibly bumps her up a few points in some playbooks.)
She doesn't seem to feel the same level of terror as the ballsackconundrum inspires. No risk of degloving that I can see, heh.
 
2013-01-22 06:53:42 AM  
img.photobucket.com


david_gaithersburg: Fark had an article just yesterday about the current generation of college grads having the reading skills of a three year old.


The fact that it looked like it was written by someone with the reading skills of a three-year-old notwithstanding...
 
2013-01-22 07:01:16 AM  
That first picture made me laugh so freaking hard
 
2013-01-22 07:11:17 AM  
Subby's standards appear to be way, way too high. The woman in the article is in no way a horrid, fugly monster:

img.thesun.co.uk
 
2013-01-22 07:16:44 AM  

blankmangedeux: there's a better story there:

http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/4754911/You-don t -need-a-boob-job-fake-tan-and-blonde-hair-to-be-sexy-says-32C-porcelai n-skinned-dark-haired-Page-3-winner-Mellisa-Clarke.html


NSFW, but hey, who are we kidding?


Hehe I was about to link that but I see it has already been taken care of :D
 
2013-01-22 07:23:31 AM  
Don't laugh. it's hard to be outsmarted in life by a chair.
 
2013-01-22 07:28:54 AM  
Nice tights, lady.
 
2013-01-22 07:41:12 AM  

pkellmey: Don't laugh. it's hard to be outsmarted in life by a chair.


Don't tell that to Clint Eastwood.
 
2013-01-22 07:45:12 AM  
Hittable?

img.thesun.co.uk

Well, since you're already in the right position...
 
2013-01-22 07:46:41 AM  
She;s 'England' hot that's about it
 
2013-01-22 07:50:46 AM  

Another Government Employee: I was expecting 400lbs.

Sadly, been there and done that.


What was that like?
 
2013-01-22 07:55:07 AM  
She makes bad choices when drunk. Sign me up.
 
2013-01-22 07:55:42 AM  

Frankenstorm: Another Government Employee: I was expecting 400lbs.

Sadly, been there and done that.

What was that like?


after several applications of flour, etc.....
 
2013-01-22 07:59:06 AM  

blankmangedeux: Frankenstorm: Another Government Employee: I was expecting 400lbs.

Sadly, been there and done that.

What was that like?

after several applications of flour, etc.....


Yes, yes. The flour. That's obvious. I want other details.
 
2013-01-22 08:02:47 AM  

Frankenstorm: blankmangedeux: Frankenstorm: Another Government Employee: I was expecting 400lbs.

Sadly, been there and done that.

What was that like?

after several applications of flour, etc.....

Yes, yes. The flour. That's obvious. I want other details.


I did have to use a headlamp and a rabbit.
 
2013-01-22 08:19:19 AM  
I'd walk in there and see that, unzip and say, "damn lady, this just ain't your day!"
 
2013-01-22 08:20:51 AM  
British hot.
 
2013-01-22 08:22:21 AM  
Smoking hot? I don't think that means what you think it means subby.
 
2013-01-22 08:24:43 AM  
Please, 3/4s of you wouldn't pass up having sex with her if she offered.  No matter how far "below your standards" you guys boast that she is.
 
2013-01-22 08:30:54 AM  

blankmangedeux: http://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/scotsol/homepage/news/4754911/You-don t -need-a-boob-job-fake-tan-and-blonde-hair-to-be-sexy-says-32C-porcelai n-skinned-dark-haired-Page-3-winner-Mellisa-Clarke.html


The funniest thing about that link is the "don't need a boob job fake tan...". She doesn't need a fake tan, but they caked on so much foundation and whatever else on her face that it almost looks like a shoop.
 
2013-01-22 08:33:25 AM  
Lets just hope "chairing" doesn't become a thing.
 
2013-01-22 08:34:00 AM  

littlett's: Please, 3/4s of you wouldn't pass up having sex with her if she offered.  No matter how far "below your standards" you guys boast that she is.


Dont spoil it for them - they are on a roll, as it were
/i feel so dirty tying that
 
2013-01-22 08:35:29 AM  

martid4: I'd walk in there and see that, unzip and say, "damn lady, this just ain't your day!"


If I wasn't a newlywed I would bang it like a drum
 
2013-01-22 08:35:52 AM  

fusillade762: So I wonder which would be more frightening: The Ballsack Conundrum or The Labia Conundrum?


That's what I was expecting, though I did control-f for mudflap. A pinch on either would probably be just as sensitive, though if you have a ball on the wrong side of the slats you would be in more trouble.
 
2013-01-22 08:37:46 AM  
What the?

How?

O.o
 
2013-01-22 08:42:18 AM  
So here's what I'm wondering. TFA says she decided to sit in her son's chair, but looking at the pictures, she's facing the back of the seat. WTF?
 
2013-01-22 08:55:28 AM  
Not that hot, although I would do her while she was stuck in the chair. That would be kinda fun.
 
2013-01-22 08:57:51 AM  
This is what AFV was created for. This kind of thing, nutshots and dumb animal videos is why we are ahead of England. Soon there should be a UKFV show, which would be similar only with 'tea mishaps' videos in the mix.
 
2013-01-22 09:01:33 AM  
she must have an enormous clitoris.
 
2013-01-22 09:04:23 AM  
I'm just going to assume that the fire brigade used the Scissors of Life to cut an access hole in the rear of those horrid tights, and gave her a good rogering, before skipping out to the pub for a pint or two...
 
2013-01-22 09:05:50 AM  

Popcorn Johnny: I think her labia are stuck.


Q: why does the Avon Lady walk funny?
A: her lipstick
 
2013-01-22 09:05:51 AM  

littlett's: Please, 3/4s of you wouldn't pass up having sex with her if she offered.  No matter how far "below your standards" you guys boast that she is.


To be fair, girls rarely just "offer" to strangers. Getting in the sack usually requires effort. When a guy says that a girl isn't up to standards, it means that she's not worth the normal average effort of getting with her. At least, that's how I always read it. If you have to lower the effort required to "absolutely none, she just offers upon meeting you", then that's just sad :(

That said, she's not great looking, but she's not terrible. And you know she's willing to try weird things while drunk.
 
2013-01-22 09:06:31 AM  

rickycal78: So here's what I'm wondering. TFA says she decided to sit in her son's chair, but looking at the pictures, she's facing the back of the seat. WTF?


She probably got herself into that position trying to get free from being stuck in the chair.
 
2013-01-22 09:08:31 AM  
static.prtst.net
 
2013-01-22 09:13:20 AM  
Maybe I'm remembering too many blonde jokes, but I read that as "I'm stuck in my car. I'm so very scared. Help"
 
2013-01-22 09:24:38 AM  
So she got a little silly drinking with a friend on a night off from babby. Seems a good sport, most of the pics were from before the fire dept got there.
 
2013-01-22 09:26:55 AM  

Xenomech: Subby's standards appear to be way, way too high. The woman in the article is in no way a horrid, fugly monster:


No 31 year-old "mum" is hot. It doesn't happen. After age 29, a woman's sexual and social value drops precipitously.

Actually, a woman's sexual value is her social value, mostly.

It's not that older women have zero value per se, but that their lives end up being confined to things like childcare and house cleaning and blowjobs and such.
 
2013-01-22 09:30:52 AM  
That picture made me guffaw. The cigarette is a nice touch.
 
2013-01-22 09:40:59 AM  
I know what you are going to say to this, but 'ow the 'ell did she get a cigarette?
 
2013-01-22 09:41:04 AM  

Phinn: Xenomech: Subby's standards appear to be way, way too high. The woman in the article is in no way a horrid, fugly monster:

No 31 year-old "mum" is hot. It doesn't happen. After age 29, a woman's sexual and social value drops precipitously.

Actually, a woman's sexual value is her social value, mostly.

It's not that older women have zero value per se, but that their lives end up being confined to things like childcare and house cleaning and blowjobs and such.


You must be fun at parties.
 
2013-01-22 09:41:05 AM  

Phinn: Xenomech: Subby's standards appear to be way, way too high. The woman in the article is in no way a horrid, fugly monster:

No 31 year-old "mum" is hot. It doesn't happen. After age 29, a woman's sexual and social value drops precipitously.

Actually, a woman's sexual value is her social value, mostly.

It's not that older women have zero value per se, but that their lives end up being confined to things like childcare and house cleaning and blowjobs and such.


I remember when I was a teenage virgin. Ah, youth.
 
2013-01-22 09:44:08 AM  

NeoBad: I know what you are going to say to this, but 'ow the 'ell did she get a cigarette?


I love that pic. She and her friend were probably cracking up the whole time. She'd be fun to hang out with.
 
2013-01-22 09:55:14 AM  
Dammit... I didn't look at the tag before I clicked...

Yeah, "smoking hot" until she smiles. Her teeth look like a yellow rake.
 
2013-01-22 09:56:11 AM  
img2-2.timeinc.net


"I'd hit it after six seasons"

/ hint
 
2013-01-22 09:57:11 AM  
Does Fark get paid for all these Sun links or something?
 
2013-01-22 10:05:44 AM  
I wish all the studman 69 types would post pictures of their ladies. They must be knockouts considering thier high standards
 
2013-01-22 10:15:20 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: I wish all the studman 69 types would post pictures of their ladies. They must be knockouts considering thier high standards


more like you would get their fantasy date instead... or something shooped
 
2013-01-22 10:19:00 AM  

Xenomech: Subby's standards appear to be way, way too high. The woman in the article is in no way a horrid, fugly monster:

[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x450]


How about: Smoking hot British-cute 31-year-old blonde mum

Also, do they not have these in the UK?
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-01-22 10:20:19 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: I wish all the studman 69 types would post pictures of their ladies. They must be knockouts considering thier high standards


www.nypost.com

/oblig
 
2013-01-22 10:24:17 AM  
I was looking for the smoking hot nun.
 
2013-01-22 10:44:41 AM  
Pleasantly surprised...thought that smoking hot and stuck in chair meant morbidly obese and on fire.
 
2013-01-22 10:57:23 AM  
A drunk mother who gets caught in compromising positions....I like my chances!
 
2013-01-22 11:04:43 AM  
She's not bad at all. You guys cursing subby are probably all virgins living in your mothers' basements.

/Fronters gonna front
 
2013-01-22 11:17:35 AM  

Arthurgoboom: She's not bad at all. You guys cursing subby are probably all virgins living in your mothers' basements.

/Fronters gonna front


There is a very big difference between "not bad at all" and "smoking hot".
 
2013-01-22 11:21:52 AM  
They didn't know anyone with a hacksaw? Thanks for jacking up taxes, idiots!
 
2013-01-22 11:36:15 AM  
Maybe I'm remembering too many blonde jokes, but I read that as "I'm stuck in my car. I'm so very scared. Help"

Thanks, had not thought of this in years. Enjoy

Link
 
2013-01-22 11:41:40 AM  
Come on she ain't too bad. British hot. Nice ass anyway. Looks like a girl that can take a big d from behind.
 
2013-01-22 12:03:46 PM  
She's a lot less horrible than I expected.
 
2013-01-22 12:32:51 PM  
Is this the Mother from the British version of Shameless.
 
2013-01-22 12:35:48 PM  

ElFugawz: Xenomech: Subby's standards appear to be way, way too high. The woman in the article is in no way a horrid, fugly monster:

[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x450]

How about: Smoking hot British-cute 31-year-old blonde mum

Also, do they not have these in the UK?
[ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]


Why would you want to do that to her, you twisted fark?
 
2013-01-22 12:36:09 PM  
She does kinda have that "Will put out for the entire team" sorta look going on.
 
2013-01-22 12:44:29 PM  

joaquin closet: I was looking for the smoking hot nun.


Usually in the cas of these links, it's smoking hot --none.
 
2013-01-22 01:06:12 PM  
Through all that, she did not let go of her cancer stick. She may be up for the Ciggie Smoker of the Year Award from the Tobacco Institute.

Folding chairs. How do they work?
 
2013-01-22 01:08:13 PM  

littlett's: Please, 3/4s of you wouldn't pass up having sex with her if she offered.  No matter how far "below your standards" you guys boast that she is.


I'll be honest: I would totally tap that. Then again, I also think she's just a tad out of my league.

/ Homely mofo
// thankfully g/f doesn't think so
 
2013-01-22 01:11:56 PM  
Speaking of dumbassery, the ad next to this thread was for "combat ready" light sabers a moment ago.

Combat ready? This reminds me of an episode of the Venture Brothers. I don't think those words mean what you think they mean, Comicon Boy. In fact, I am afraid that your idea of "combat ready" is as faulty as this woman's knowledge of the proper use of chairs.

She's one of those people who are the reason that brooms come with safety instructions and user manuals.

Rule 74: Do not use broom to push bowling balls off of the top shelf, because unlike Fred Flintstone and Dick Petrie, you may be killed or injured if a bowling ball falls on your head.
 
2013-01-22 01:25:51 PM  
Adequate for purposes of sex. More than that would depend on her ability to avoid chair traps in the future, willingness to clean the house adequately, take care of herself and her hygiene, and most importantly not turn out to be a moonbat.

/low standards you say? not these days....
 
2013-01-22 01:54:54 PM  
www.yourhorse.co.uk
 
2013-01-22 02:00:27 PM  

ElFugawz: Xenomech: Subby's standards appear to be way, way too high. The woman in the article is in no way a horrid, fugly monster:

[img.thesun.co.uk image 620x450]

How about: Smoking hot British-cute 31-year-old blonde mum

Also, do they not have these in the UK?
[dremel.jpg]


Likes the way you think

www.mahir.nl
 
2013-01-22 02:13:44 PM  
img.thesun.co.uk

"Hey... these aren't my glasses..."
 
2013-01-22 02:48:36 PM  
 
2013-01-22 02:54:53 PM  

DAHFreedom: [img2-2.timeinc.net image 300x400]


"I'd hit it after six seasons"

/ hint


Yup, exactly who I was thinking of also!
 
2013-01-22 02:56:25 PM  

DAHFreedom: [img2-2.timeinc.net image 300x400]


"I'd hit it after six seasons"

/ hint


That's who she was reminding me of! I couldn't quite place it until you posted that...
 
2013-01-22 03:56:08 PM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: martid4: I'd walk in there and see that, unzip and say, "damn lady, this just ain't your day!"

If I wasn't a newlywed I would bang it like a drum


You know women want to stop having sex after you get married, unless of course it's with one of your buddies!
 
2013-01-22 04:19:04 PM  
I'm not a fan of smokers, or fall down drunk girls, but give her a few mugs of coffee and a breath mint, a pacifier, a diaper and a bonnet, and... I've probably said too much.
 
pc
2013-01-22 04:29:49 PM  
i.chzbgr.com
/Smoking hot
 
2013-01-22 05:42:22 PM  
A mother of a baby is drunk, while taking care of the baby...how classy. Keep having children you shouldn't have world, you're doing great.
 
2013-01-22 06:12:10 PM  

rushthatspeaks: A mother of a baby is drunk, while taking care of the baby...how classy. Keep having children you shouldn't have world, you're doing great.


From the fist paragraph..."While the kids were being looked after, the pair polished off two bottles of wine." Way to read the article Rush.
 
2013-01-22 06:58:41 PM  
Should have left her to die. Natural selection.
 
2013-01-22 09:31:44 PM  

slayer199: [imageshack.us image 640x480]


I gotcha, Slayer99. Thanks for reminding us.

I'm stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help. (Details In thread)
 
2013-01-23 12:03:53 AM  
So being 31-years old is now a weird age to be a mum? When did that happen?
 
2013-01-23 12:18:25 AM  
Put her on page 3?
 
2013-01-23 08:09:02 AM  
makes me laugh when you damn yanks slate english women . have you seen the tramps around the US?

lets just straighten this out right now shall we.you have this

laughingatthem.files.wordpress.com

we in the UK have this

wfiles.brothersoft.com
game over!
 
2013-01-23 01:06:16 PM  

pxlboy: That picture made me guffaw. The cigarette is a nice touch.


I know, right?

"Hey I hardly have clearance to breathe freely. Can someone hand me a smoke?
 
2013-01-25 03:27:59 AM  

Lem Motlow: pxlboy: That picture made me guffaw. The cigarette is a nice touch.

I know, right?

"Hey I hardly have clearance to breathe freely. Can someone hand me a smoke?


Hey, be fair. The last time I was stuck in a high chair and the fire department came and spent 4 hours trying to figure out how the f*ck I got in there, how they're getting me out, and how nice my ass is, they gave me a couple smokes and some Cheezies. Like, f*ck, I was stuck on the floor. I needed a few smokes, eh.
 
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