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(Wikipedia)   It's actually possible to get Jobs tears   (en.wikipedia.org) divider line 35
    More: Amusing, Job's tears, Asian supermarkets, barley  
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5397 clicks; posted to Geek » on 21 Jan 2013 at 3:33 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-21 03:24:52 PM  
STEVE Job's tears? Because I'm sure they'd be delicious and satisfying.

/anyone who isn't an iCultist can recognize that the man was a major-league asshole who stole more concepts (and pretended to invent them) than Thomas Edison
 
2013-01-21 03:31:14 PM  
i.ytimg.com
 
2013-01-21 03:40:12 PM  
And Dragon's blood exists apart from Harry Potter books, too. Sometimes they use it in violin varnish.
 
2013-01-21 03:58:16 PM  
data.whicdn.com
Taste the sad Michael
 
2013-01-21 04:05:13 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-01-21 04:15:00 PM  
There is a "tearjob" joke in here somewhere, something about a crying stripper ... but I can't quite find it.
 
2013-01-21 04:17:54 PM  
Jobs was an asshole.

Anybody who's developed an iOS app on a non-Mac platform can attest to this. I spent a lot of time and money preparing an app for the iOS market, only to find out you MUST have an Apple Mac to upload the app to iTunes.

WTF?

I'm sure this is because Steve Jobs demanded this. There is simply NO technical reason for this requirement.

Every other mobile app market has an easy entry, uploading apps and resources through the web... even with Apple's iTunes, you can upload MOST of the stuff through their web portal, but the app itself has to be uploaded using Apple's "Application Loader" that only runs on the latest Mac OS X version.

In the end, I had to run a Virtual Hackentosh to get the job done, but it truly is an assholish thing for Apple to do to developers, who already have to pay a fee to even submit apps. Likewise, the process for preparing apps for device testing and distribution is easily the most complicated PITA of any mobile app development platforms.
 
2013-01-21 04:36:34 PM  
Let's watch as the fandroids don't bother to click the link and come in here to blather on about their irrational Apple hatred!

LesserEvil takes the lead with a lengthy tirade that is not about tropical grain-bearing plants!
 
2013-01-21 04:41:27 PM  

Surool: Let's watch as the fandroids don't bother to click the link and come in here to blather on about their irrational Apple hatred!

LesserEvil takes the lead with a lengthy tirade that is not about tropical grain-bearing plants!


Just taking advantage to let off a little steam about an unjustified policy. I was up until 3am last night getting my app uploaded. It's the sort of thing you don't find out about until you are ready for distribution... and I've already spent a bit of cash on devices for testing. I needed to get that off my chest.

Now I have to wait for approval, which I understand.
 
2013-01-21 04:52:30 PM  
No fan of Crapple, but I still think hitting dead guys in the nuts to make em cry is probably wrong.

Probably.
 
2013-01-21 04:59:18 PM  
I wiped my ass with an iPod and all I got was this lousy t-shirt and an iPod covered in dookie.
 
2013-01-21 05:13:02 PM  
screw centuries of ashun culture and history, this here plant is now named for a guy what was in the bible
 
2013-01-21 05:16:24 PM  

LesserEvil:

Jobs was an asshole.

Anybody who's developed an iOS app on a non-Mac platform can attest to this. I spent a lot of time and money preparing an app for the iOS market, only to find out you MUST have an Apple Mac to upload the app to iTunes.

WTF?

I'm sure this is because Steve Jobs demanded this. There is simply NO technical reason for this requirement.


Why settle for writing for a PHONE anyway? Write for Linux: KDE provides a decent framework, or there's GNUstep. If you must set your sights so low try Android and broaden it later.

Or you could always abandon your integrity, curse God and die.
 
2013-01-21 05:24:59 PM  

The One True TheDavid: LesserEvil:

Jobs was an asshole.

Anybody who's developed an iOS app on a non-Mac platform can attest to this. I spent a lot of time and money preparing an app for the iOS market, only to find out you MUST have an Apple Mac to upload the app to iTunes.

WTF?

I'm sure this is because Steve Jobs demanded this. There is simply NO technical reason for this requirement.

Why settle for writing for a PHONE anyway? Write for Linux: KDE provides a decent framework, or there's GNUstep. If you must set your sights so low try Android and broaden it later.

Or you could always abandon your integrity, curse God and die.


I'd like to actually make money doing this. I have nothing against "free software" - I've written plenty myself in the past. If you've ever hacked the original Xbox, you've probably used something I wrote (I also helped inspire the guys that wrote a little handy app called "XBMC") - but I've got bills to pay and I'd like to live comfortably.

The app I'm just getting on the iOS market is a tablet app that has been on other markets. The app is pretty much specifically a tablet app, as well.

Beyond that, I'm a developer with over 30 years of experience. Development isn't new to me, just dealing with distribution through Apple's iTunes is new to me, which is why the process has been a bit frustrating.
 
2013-01-21 05:31:35 PM  
'cough cough' no one going to point out that they are pronounced Jobe's tears not jobs with a short 'o'
 
2013-01-21 05:38:51 PM  
Obviously they lack the cancer-killing properties of Chuck Norris tears. Do not want.
 
2013-01-21 05:40:31 PM  

LesserEvil: Jobs was an asshole.


Last time I checked, that was the number one requirement to being a wealthy business person. No one ever got that big being nice, moral and considerate.
 
2013-01-21 05:44:10 PM  

Saborlas: STEVE Job's tears? Because I'm sure they'd be delicious and satisfying.

/anyone who isn't an iCultist can recognize that the man was a major-league asshole who stole more concepts (and pretended to invent them) than Thomas Edison


So you're saying he's a Templar overlord?
 
2013-01-21 05:48:05 PM  
"In both Korea and China, distilled liquors are also made from the grain. One such example is the South Korean liquor called okroju (옥로주; hanja: 玉露酒), which is made from rice and Job's tears."

WANT
 
2013-01-21 05:49:11 PM  
LesserEvil as frustrated as you may be, even bringing it up in a thread about plants is a massive failure. As you can see from the thread, you are not alone.
 
2013-01-21 06:19:00 PM  
I'm sure this would be handy information, if you were a Cook looking to come up in the world.
 
2013-01-21 06:19:32 PM  
www.mountainfeed.com
iTears
 
2013-01-21 06:30:40 PM  
Nice "job" submitter....yeah
just post a random page from wiki, and get a green

Nice
Of course, I find an interesting article, take the time to come up with a clever pun, and submit it to Fark and .... nothing, just another rejected thread - over - and over - and over again.

But YOU, "oh look, a static article about a plant I think I'll submit this." and it's green

/grumblemumblegrumble
 
2013-01-21 06:37:07 PM  
My first thought was the biblical guy.

God was an asshole to him for no particular reason.

dtomolson.files.wordpress.com

He shed a lot of tears.
 
2013-01-21 07:08:56 PM  
Apostrophes are handy. Add some to your toolbox. You won't regret it, unless you over-use them.
 
2013-01-21 07:32:57 PM  

LesserEvil: Jobs was an asshole.

Anybody who's developed an iOS app on a non-Mac platform can attest to this. I spent a lot of time and money preparing an app for the iOS market, only to find out you MUST have an Apple Mac to upload the app to iTunes.

WTF?

I'm sure this is because Steve Jobs demanded this. There is simply NO technical reason for this requirement.

Every other mobile app market has an easy entry, uploading apps and resources through the web... even with Apple's iTunes, you can upload MOST of the stuff through their web portal, but the app itself has to be uploaded using Apple's "Application Loader" that only runs on the latest Mac OS X version.

In the end, I had to run a Virtual Hackentosh to get the job done, but it truly is an assholish thing for Apple to do to developers, who already have to pay a fee to even submit apps. Likewise, the process for preparing apps for device testing and distribution is easily the most complicated PITA of any mobile app development platforms.


ezrahub.com

I made some apps using Adobe AIR. My dreams are still haunted by the phrase "mobile provisioning profile." But at least I get the satisfaction of imagining Jobs spinning in his grave knowing that Flash is the basis for some apps on his beloved iPad.
 
2013-01-21 07:41:19 PM  
can we all get our favorite plant greenlighted?
 
2013-01-21 07:45:00 PM  

utah dude: can we all get our favorite plant greenlighted?


I nominate the humble spaghetti plant.
 
2013-01-21 08:27:03 PM  
FTA: Job's Tears are also commonly sold as Chinese pearl barley.

i759.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-21 08:59:53 PM  

tinyarena: Nice "job" submitter....yeah
just post a random page from wiki, and get a green

Nice
Of course, I find an interesting article, take the time to come up with a clever pun, and submit it to Fark and .... nothing, just another rejected thread - over - and over - and over again.

But YOU, "oh look, a static article about a plant I think I'll submit this." and it's green

/grumblemumblegrumble


My sentiments exactly

/although my headlines are usually questionable, I only get mad over the ones I know are good
 
2013-01-21 09:45:53 PM  
a) Pretty much anyone of Cherokee ancestry whose parental units did the yearly trip to the Qualla Boundary knows there is such a thing as Job's tears (among other things, they tend to be made into necklaces sold as "Cherokee Tear necklaces"). They also tend to be rather common in Filipino rosaries.

b) Re the book of the Bible (and the name the beads were called in English)--It's actually a bit worse than merely "God being an asshole"...the best way to put the book of Job into terms for folks unfamiliar with early Middle Eastern court systems or Napoleonic law is "Imagine a scenario in a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney game...with Job as Phoenix Wright representing all of humanity, Satan as Miles Edgeworth, and God Himself as the annoying Judge with the long-ass beard. Oh, and Job's client, namely all of humanity, ALSO thinks he's a dick."

(Yes, I'm quite serious. The book of Job is basically a story of how all of humanity gets put on trial for being generally Bastard-Flavoured Bastards Full Of Bastard Filling in a courtroom typical of Israeli courtrooms of the period where generally the defendant had to explicitly prove their innocence (still typical in countries using a form of Napoleonic law such as Japan--of which the Phoenix Wright series was meant to be an overt parody of the Japanese court system) with Job being simultaneously a defense attorney for humanity and the primary exhibit that there ARE humans out there capable of acts of non-bastardy. At the time the book was written, Satan was considered to have a role in the divine court of essentially God's own prosecuting attorney (and thus actually working for God--the term "ha-Satan" means literally "the adversary" and was originally meant in roughly the same light as "The Prosecutor" in modern court discussion); the book itself, interestingly, can be seen as a rather savage parody of both the concept of the "divine judge" AND the idea that "bad things happen to good people to make them stronger in their faith".)
 
2013-01-21 10:05:12 PM  
I haven't the patience for this, so here's a musical interlude.
 
2013-01-22 12:52:08 AM  
Where can I get Scott Tenorman's tears?
 
2013-01-22 01:04:25 AM  
Jimson weed is a hell of a lot more fun.


/And by fun I mean nightmarish.
 
2013-01-23 12:02:27 AM  
Hello? Hello teh funnay?

/link is bad and you should feel bad
 
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