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(The Register)   "'Engineers are cold and dead inside,' research shows, 'Unable to care or love'" In other news, trolling for web-hits is easy   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 65
    More: Obvious, surveying, School of Engineering, computer engineering, trolls  
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11388 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2013 at 3:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-01-21 03:31:41 PM  
5 votes:
As a former Civil Engineer, I would like to refute the headline/

I'd like to, but I can't.

/so lonely
2013-01-21 03:59:39 PM  
4 votes:
Perfect! Bar political office to all those except physics based engineering types with a career 10 years long or older.

I've had enough of the "it's for the children"/"it's a good first step, even if it's useless"/"fairness!" brand of governance.

At least with cold-hearted engineers in charge, we could look forward to government reports like, "The measure passed in 2003 has achieved no higher than 25% effectiveness according to the measurement protocol. According to the Historical Standard Regression Forecasting Algorithm, we can predict, based on past governmental performance, an end effectiveness of 21.5%. Therefore, using the Congressional 10-year re-authorization rules, the measure will have to pass a ( 100% - Effectiveness /2 ) or 89% vote to make it permanent. It is predicted that the measure will not pass this hurdle, and expire on schedule. Another measure passed in 2006 has been very successful, at 120% effectiveness this year alone, and will almost certainly become permanent in three years."
2013-01-21 03:37:10 PM  
4 votes:
I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer
2013-01-21 06:44:06 PM  
3 votes:
All professions can be explained in terms of 'Star Trek.'

Engineers come in three flavors, Scotty, Geordi and Data. The Data ones are the best at sheer technical prowess, but the worst at dealing with others.

Doctors come in three flavors, Dr. Crusher, Dr. McCoy and Dr. Bashir. Bashirs are a little arrogant, Crushers have the best bedside manner, and McCoys typically wind up being the surgeons.

I.T. professionals are either Klingons, Cardassians or Trill. If your I.T. person is the kind of person who will irritatedly shove you out of the way, fix it without telling you how and then head back to the office, that's the Klingon variety. The Cardassian variety will block or disable stuff if you mess it up and takes great glee in having authority. And the Trill, being a joined species, is typically a person who started in I.T. but has another skillset, and is thus markedly more chill and fun at parties.

The receptionists, who seem to always be female, are also always Betazeds. Ever notice how a pudgy, middle-aged lady whose skillset includes phones, faxes, copies and typing somehow always knows everything that's going on with a staff of engineers, doctors and I.T.? It's because she's the team mom and everyone brings their problems to her, much like Counselor Troi. Same goes for the tendency of some younger receptionists to be quite busty.

And Human Resources are all Borg. No exceptions.
2013-01-21 03:48:41 PM  
3 votes:
Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.

More seriously a lot of engineers end up being managers after graduation. If there is any job that will make you hate people that's it.
2013-01-21 03:41:22 PM  
3 votes:
And then when no one is watching, the people in medicine acted like total dicks and the engineers went back to giggling at videos of kittens.

Actually, a lot of people that apparently come across as warm, empathetic, and friendly to most seem terribly fake to me. They're all big smiles and "Hi! I'm a friendly happy person! I'm lovable! You should love me!" to which I respond "No," like that grumpy cat.
2013-01-21 03:38:33 PM  
3 votes:
Because when I want well researched psychological analysis, I go to a trick cyclist.
2013-01-21 03:36:09 PM  
3 votes:

FormlessOne: They're nothing compared to the IT admins, though. Friggin' sadistic sociopaths.

/I keed, I keed.



It's a coping strategy...

The more I make you hate coming to me, the less frequent my interruptions.
2013-01-21 03:34:18 PM  
3 votes:
I like machines better than people anyway.
2013-01-21 03:45:36 PM  
2 votes:
Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.
2013-01-21 03:42:59 PM  
2 votes:
I'm an electrical engineer; the headline is accurate.

The fact that other people besides me live on this planet fills me with a quiet rage.
2013-01-21 03:36:55 PM  
2 votes:
Who cares? It's not like we normals ever need to interact with engineers. Keep them in their cages with their bottles of Mountain Dew and just ignore them.
2013-01-21 03:36:33 PM  
2 votes:
Architectural Engineer, and I only love my wife and daughter. Everyone else will make nice lubricant for the gears of my machines of war someday.
2013-01-21 03:33:40 PM  
2 votes:
FTA: The computing students, once gender effects had been eliminated, actually came out basically the same as medical and caring types: they had turned out to be normal, warm, caring human beings. It was in fact the physics-based classical engineers who were dead inside.

I can't really vouch for that, having met everything from normal, warm, caring developers to cold, dead, purely rational developers. Tech writers are fantastic folks, while the UI folks are a little too "touchy-feely" for me. And, as usual, PMs vary from friendly lying snakes to unfriendly lying snakes.

They're nothing compared to the IT admins, though. Friggin' sadistic sociopaths.

/I keed, I keed.
2013-01-21 03:31:27 PM  
2 votes:
mechanical engineer - 63.2% dead inside
2013-01-22 11:21:48 PM  
1 votes:

I drunk what: Pop Quiz:

Which one of these is a Sanitation Engineer?

A
[ktothec.files.wordpress.com image 400x533]

B
[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

C
[farm5.staticflickr.com image 159x240]


I don't know, but it's not B. He's standing in a giant tube, so I assume he's an Internet Engineer.
2013-01-22 08:03:52 PM  
1 votes:

sxacho: The civil PE exam has about an 89% pass rate vs about 23% for the Structural I exam.


actually Civil = 65%, and i couldn't find any data on structural for 2011-12, but it was 46% in 2010, but hey looks like architectural = 71% so i guess Big12 picked the right one after all :3

//unfortunately that wasn't a choice when i was in school :(

so i feel much better now, i guess those structural I's aren't as smart as they think they are :D

good jorb lad
2013-01-22 07:47:11 PM  
1 votes:

I drunk what: sxacho: The civil PE exam has about an 89% pass rate vs about 23% for the Structural I exam. Are you really trying to say that they're essentially the same?

does the piece of paper getting stamped know the difference? or care?

if you can't decide which one you like better, let the architectural stamp it

or if he's not around maybe a software can stamp it for ya?

maybe soon the art history major's can get a engineer's stamp too

i'm gunna start studying for the Philosophy Engineering PE exam, those stamps are going to be priceless



Go home I drunk what, you are drunk.
2013-01-22 05:41:35 PM  
1 votes:
www.quotesworthrepeating.com
sigh =( ok.
2013-01-21 09:15:42 PM  
1 votes:
It's the job/bosses that makes you cold and dead inside.
2013-01-21 07:01:32 PM  
1 votes:
As an architect I'd like to say engineers are always farking up our designs. Oh sure, NOW you want to put a column there.
2013-01-21 06:15:50 PM  
1 votes:
What's the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
2013-01-21 06:15:48 PM  
1 votes:
So the article is saying that individuals who like people and emotional drama go into fields where they work with people and emotional drama occurs, and individuals who are analytical, find dealing with people draining and don't like drama go into careers where they can work with data rather than people, and emotional drama is a detriment?

What a surprise!
Someone call Rick Romero

Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.

Shocking to think that people who use their brain all the time would have trouble dealing with people who don't use it ever!

Actually, a lot of people that apparently come across as warm, empathetic, and friendly to most seem terribly fake to me. They're all big smiles and "Hi! I'm a friendly happy person! I'm lovable! You should love me!" to which I respond "No," like that grumpy cat.

This
Just because you are waiting on my table or taking my bank deposit doesn't mean you have to be my best buddy.
2013-01-21 06:07:24 PM  
1 votes:

Nurglitch: A little confusion about means and averages maybe?


In arithmetic the mean is one of several types of averages. When most people say "average" they arithmetic mean. When modern IQ tests are devised, the mean (average) score within an age group is set to 100 and the standard deviation (SD) almost always to 15.

Neglecting extreme outliers (which would not affect the statistic much anyway) and assuming the distribution is close to normal (it nearly is), then YES, about 1/2 the people are below average.

Also, in a normal distribution, mean, median, mode are the same. So YES, I would say there is some "confusion about means and averages" and I would say it lies with you.
2013-01-21 05:57:41 PM  
1 votes:

SultanofSchwing: two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?

People are gonna shiat on me for it, but I'd say yes. An engineer doesn't have to be limited to certain disciplines, at it's root an engineer is someone who comes up with ways to solve technical problems.


Eeeh. I thought the alternative title for gaffer was "Chief Lighting Technician". The difference usually being execution vs. design. IMHO, a lighting engineer would be someone designing new lighting equipment. The same way an "audio engineer" is the one designing the speakers, not the guy running the mixer. YMMV.
2013-01-21 05:55:49 PM  
1 votes:
Meh, engineers are still better than accountants.
2013-01-21 05:33:06 PM  
1 votes:
I've worked with a lot of engineers, and I'm starting to think that the fact I've found most of them to be completely normal people says more about me than it does about them.
2013-01-21 05:19:52 PM  
1 votes:

brantgoose: Finally, you have the smarter sort of engineers. They take English literature courses once they graduate and have jobs because they would like to have been English majors instead of engineers, or because they realize something is missing that leaves them cold and empty inside, or simply because they realize that engineers can't communicate their way around a cardboard box. This class of engineers frequently graduate to management positions where they manage engineers and even real people.


FWIW, some tech companies are realizing that promoting good engineers into managers is a terribly idea. The average engineer is not a good manager. These companies are providing career paths for people (like me) who are good at engineering and realize that they would be horrible managers.
2013-01-21 04:47:55 PM  
1 votes:

contrapunctus: [wiki.teamfortress.com image 250x336]

Approves.


i.imgur.com

Approves even more.
2013-01-21 04:44:24 PM  
1 votes:
Yep. That's why we went into engineering in the first place.

Electrons don't ask us to feel their pain. And the laws of thermodynamics don't nag us to talk about our feelings.

The other way to phrase this, of course, is

Engineers, unlike other professions, don't allow irrational, primitive emotional states to overrule their intellects. That's why doctors make so many bad diagnoses.
2013-01-21 04:43:08 PM  
1 votes:
In the old days, if anything went wrong during an execution, it was taken as an omen that the accused was truly innocent, and he would be set free. And so it was that one day, a surgeon, a banker, and an engineer were brought to the town square to be guillotined.

The surgeon is led to the platform and strapped into the guillotine, and the switch is thrown... and the blade stops an inch from his neck. Taken aback by this clear sign from above, the executioner lets him go. Then the banker is led to the platform and strapped into the guillotine, and the switch is thrown... and the blade stops an inch from his neck. The executioner is weeping at this double miracle he has witnessed, but lets the banker go. Then the engineer is led from to the platform and strapped into the guillotine, and he cranes his neck around and says to the executioner "Hey, I think I see where the problem is..."
2013-01-21 04:37:54 PM  
1 votes:

Private_Citizen: Another joke:

An engineer, a priest and a surgeon are playing golf one day, but they keep getting held up by a slow group ahead of them. Frustrated, they ask their caddie what's the problem with the slow group. The caddie explains, "Those are firefighters who lost their eyesight while saving orphans from a fire!".

Feeling chagrinned about his impatience, the priest says, "Oh, that's terrible, I'll pray for them." Not to be out done, the surgeon chimes in "I'll donate some time and see if we can repair their eyes."

Then, the engineer asks:
"If they're blind, why can't they play at night?"


Optimist = The glass is half full
Pessimist = The glass is half empty
Engineer = The glass is too big
2013-01-21 04:34:26 PM  
1 votes:
As a computer engineer, I can confirm that a lack of any emotional response to most stimuli, except for the response of revulsion and anxiety when in the presence of small children.
2013-01-21 04:25:03 PM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.


What about the people that drive trains arent' they engineers too?
2013-01-21 04:23:46 PM  
1 votes:

SovietCanuckistan: There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.


How do you think we find so much time to post? I mean, it's not like we have to steer them.
2013-01-21 04:21:11 PM  
1 votes:

Scruffinator: The engineers at my work hate me. I'm always finding new ways to break their machines, and even though the skilled trades department can fix them, it drives the engineers nuts that they don't know how I did it in the first place.

/nothing else to add


We hate people like you. No matter how many FMEA's we do, we can never ever ever account for every possible fark-up that you people can come up with.

/When we design an idiot-proof machine, the world design's a better class of idiot.
//The curse of the Mechanical Engineer.
2013-01-21 04:19:51 PM  
1 votes:
There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.
2013-01-21 04:16:50 PM  
1 votes:

WhippingBoy: slapmastered: *PHEW* God, I thought I was the only one who had that problem with their wife.

No, I also have a problem with your wife. WTF is up with her reluctance to do anal?


I dunno. I've asked and begged and cajoled, but she just won't budge on that one. If you ever get her into it, I'll owe you a beer.
2013-01-21 04:14:52 PM  
1 votes:

oldfarthenry: A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.


Yeah. This. Also, it's important to try to never memorize Building or Zoning Codes. Always look it up.
2013-01-21 04:14:12 PM  
1 votes:

oldfarthenry: littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P

A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.


This is so true. I use three calculators from different manufacturers, then verify the results in Excel. Finally my intern confirms that both our eyes are reading the same numbers, before I commit to an answer. After that I round to the nearest round number, because you know... I'm an engineer, not a goddamn scientist.
2013-01-21 04:09:53 PM  
1 votes:

Nurglitch: SpectroBoy: Egoy3k: Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
.

The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.

A little confusion about means and averages maybe?


In a true normal distribution, mean, median, mode are the same.
2013-01-21 04:08:19 PM  
1 votes:

littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P


A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-21 04:07:52 PM  
1 votes:
"You ever see an engineer's eyes? They have lifeless eyes,like a doll's eyes. Until they delete all your work, and the eyes roll over. Then there's the horrible scream,and the systems all crash. And despite all the pounding and hollering, all the engineers come in, and laugh at your pain."

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
2013-01-21 04:07:04 PM  
1 votes:
Engineers = cold and dead inside
Trick cyclists = 1000 BTU/lb, 85% moisture, 5% ash.
Clearly we need to add more trick cyclists to the fires.
2013-01-21 04:06:07 PM  
1 votes:

oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.


She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P
2013-01-21 04:04:30 PM  
1 votes:

SpectroBoy: catusr: mechanical engineer

Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer,


You know the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?


Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets!
/ tip your waitress


That is one of the first engineering jokes I ever heard. Wanna hear my favorite? ...too bad.

An engineer was talking to his buddy one day about a strange event that had happened to him.

"Man, it was bizarre. This amazingly beautiful woman rode up to me on a bicycle, threw it on the ground, tore off all her clothes and told me, 'Take what you want.' "

"So that's where you got that snazzy new bike from. Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit anyway."

Another great one:

Three engineering students were debating the existence and nature of the Almighty.

The first student, an electrical engineering major, argued that God must be an electrical engineer. "Just look at the human nervous system. The circuitry and neural pathways are astounding in their complexity and detail."

The second student, a mechanical engineering major, insisted that God was, in fact, a mechanical engineer. "Look at the human musculoskeletal system. Joints, loadbearing members, muscles pushing and pulling in perfect synchronization. It's poetry in motion."

The third student simply shook his head at the other two. "God is a Civil Engineer. Period."

"How do you know?" the pair asked.

"Who else would route a waste disposal pipeline through a recreational area?"

/Tip your veal, try the waitress.
//Mechanical Engineer, happily married.
///Still sometimes question my own sanity...I do think that engineers have a lower-than-average empathy score...we are just not people-person's by nature.
//Don't think that makes me "dead inside..."
/Unnecessary slashie to complete the pattern!
2013-01-21 04:02:42 PM  
1 votes:
Fiancee and I are both engineers. At least we're dead inside together.
2013-01-21 04:00:15 PM  
1 votes:
by surveying 200 students from six different study programs

Yeah, anyone can tell you that undergraduates don't have real human emotions. I'm more surprised the researcher was gullible enough to be fooled by the arts majors and so on, apparently sociopathy is stronger in this generation.
2013-01-21 03:59:21 PM  
1 votes:
Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.
2013-01-21 03:57:02 PM  
1 votes:
i260.photobucket.com
2013-01-21 03:55:32 PM  
1 votes:
Tfa is probably very true but it coulda been written better. Language like "cold, dead inside" could describe an unskillful sociopath just as well as it could describe someone with a few schizoid tendencies, and the latter are quite harmless and actually kind of happy in our own weird little way.

/Engineer
//a little schizoid
2013-01-21 03:53:49 PM  
1 votes:

oldfarthenry:

That's because we have to work with those marketing people:


www.carolroth.com
We need to co-leverage our brand loyalties and deploy our solutions to the demographic segment. Let's take this offline later if you have the bandwidth.
2013-01-21 03:51:25 PM  
1 votes:

Egoy3k: Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
.


The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.
2013-01-21 03:51:08 PM  
1 votes:

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Finance major - Braindead inside


You're probably talking about undergrad finance majors and I don't really know what their curriculum is like but I can tell you from personal experience that graduate level finance isn't doable if you're braindead. Econometrics and game theory are not for the dull of mind.
2013-01-21 03:49:43 PM  
1 votes:

catusr: mechanical engineer


Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer,



You know the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?


Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets!
/ tip your waitress
2013-01-21 03:46:39 PM  
1 votes:
wiki.teamfortress.com

Approves.
2013-01-21 03:44:17 PM  
1 votes:
fool me once, shame on you
fool me twice, deltree
2013-01-21 03:43:08 PM  
1 votes:

Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer, I would like to refute the headline/

I'd like to, but I can't.

/so lonely


There's no such thing as a civil engineer
2013-01-21 03:42:57 PM  
1 votes:
i work for an engineering firm

pretty much on par

/not an engineer
2013-01-21 03:39:57 PM  
1 votes:
I'm sure there are many engineers who are also loving, functional people. However, every guy I've ever been on a date with who was a complete social retard - as in unable to hold up his end of a conversation - was an engineer of some type. YMMV
2013-01-21 03:39:47 PM  
1 votes:
I know quite a few engineers, and while I wouldn't say they are dead inside, I will say that it's fun to wind them up. And easy.
2013-01-21 03:38:30 PM  
1 votes:
IT'S JUST A LOVE YOU CAN'T BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND, MAN

imgs.xkcd.com

imgs.xkcd.com
2013-01-21 03:37:56 PM  
1 votes:
Civil engineer here. Don't care what you guys think.
2013-01-21 03:37:07 PM  
1 votes:
dilbert.com
2013-01-21 03:36:25 PM  
1 votes:
No Prometheus reference yet?
 
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