If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The Register)   "'Engineers are cold and dead inside,' research shows, 'Unable to care or love'" In other news, trolling for web-hits is easy   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 360
    More: Obvious, surveying, School of Engineering, computer engineering, trolls  
•       •       •

11361 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2013 at 3:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



360 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-01-21 03:16:29 PM
"The computing students, once gender effects had been eliminated, actually came out basically the same as medical and caring types: they had turned out to be normal, warm, caring human beings. It was in fact the physics-based classical engineers who were dead inside. "
heh.
/computer engineer
/dead inside, mostly
 
2013-01-21 03:31:27 PM
mechanical engineer - 63.2% dead inside
 
2013-01-21 03:31:41 PM
As a former Civil Engineer, I would like to refute the headline/

I'd like to, but I can't.

/so lonely
 
2013-01-21 03:31:56 PM
Are we posting troll articles that try to find a non-existent causal relationship between your career and your personal worth again? Good, please carry on.
 
2013-01-21 03:31:59 PM
Meh
 
2013-01-21 03:32:23 PM
Unable to care or love, claims Swedish trick-cyclist

At least engineers pay attention to stop signs. Bicyclists are always complaining aren't they?
 
2013-01-21 03:32:29 PM
Finance major - Braindead inside
 
2013-01-21 03:32:37 PM
Like I give 0.465 cubic millimetres of sh*t what their survey says!
 
2013-01-21 03:33:23 PM
Clearly we need to ban engineering.
 
2013-01-21 03:33:40 PM
FTA: The computing students, once gender effects had been eliminated, actually came out basically the same as medical and caring types: they had turned out to be normal, warm, caring human beings. It was in fact the physics-based classical engineers who were dead inside.

I can't really vouch for that, having met everything from normal, warm, caring developers to cold, dead, purely rational developers. Tech writers are fantastic folks, while the UI folks are a little too "touchy-feely" for me. And, as usual, PMs vary from friendly lying snakes to unfriendly lying snakes.

They're nothing compared to the IT admins, though. Friggin' sadistic sociopaths.

/I keed, I keed.
 
2013-01-21 03:34:18 PM
I like machines better than people anyway.
 
2013-01-21 03:35:21 PM
Choo, Choo Charlie.
 
2013-01-21 03:36:09 PM

FormlessOne: They're nothing compared to the IT admins, though. Friggin' sadistic sociopaths.

/I keed, I keed.



It's a coping strategy...

The more I make you hate coming to me, the less frequent my interruptions.
 
2013-01-21 03:36:25 PM
No Prometheus reference yet?
 
2013-01-21 03:36:33 PM
Architectural Engineer, and I only love my wife and daughter. Everyone else will make nice lubricant for the gears of my machines of war someday.
 
2013-01-21 03:36:38 PM
I'm a mech engineer and I strongly suspect that I am schizoid, so this seems rational to me.
 
2013-01-21 03:36:55 PM
Who cares? It's not like we normals ever need to interact with engineers. Keep them in their cages with their bottles of Mountain Dew and just ignore them.
 
2013-01-21 03:37:00 PM
boo hisss
 
2013-01-21 03:37:07 PM
dilbert.com
 
2013-01-21 03:37:10 PM
I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer
 
2013-01-21 03:37:32 PM

FormlessOne: FTA: The computing students, once gender effects had been eliminated, actually came out basically the same as medical and caring types: they had turned out to be normal, warm, caring human beings. It was in fact the physics-based classical engineers who were dead inside.

I can't really vouch for that, having met everything from normal, warm, caring developers to cold, dead, purely rational developers. Tech writers are fantastic  fanfic folks, while the UI folks are a little too "touchy-feely" for me. And, as usual, PMs vary from friendly lying snakes to unfriendly lying snakes.

They're nothing compared to the IT admins, though. Friggin' sadistic sociopaths.

/I keed, I keed.


ftfy
 
2013-01-21 03:37:56 PM
Civil engineer here. Don't care what you guys think.
 
2013-01-21 03:38:30 PM
IT'S JUST A LOVE YOU CAN'T BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND, MAN

imgs.xkcd.com

imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-01-21 03:38:33 PM
Because when I want well researched psychological analysis, I go to a trick cyclist.
 
2013-01-21 03:39:17 PM
I like people enough, I guess, but I have zero interest in medicine or healing people or anything biological. In that sense, I have no interest in "life" at all.

\physics --> condensed matter --> theoretical condensed matter
 
2013-01-21 03:39:47 PM
I know quite a few engineers, and while I wouldn't say they are dead inside, I will say that it's fun to wind them up. And easy.
 
2013-01-21 03:39:57 PM
I'm sure there are many engineers who are also loving, functional people. However, every guy I've ever been on a date with who was a complete social retard - as in unable to hold up his end of a conversation - was an engineer of some type. YMMV
 
2013-01-21 03:40:25 PM
I'm a sanitation engineer and I love you all.
 
2013-01-21 03:40:30 PM
I think we could remedy this inhumanity by donning unitards and skipping through the cube-farm whilst throwing rose petals over our shoulders.
What say thee, fellow office drones?
 
2013-01-21 03:41:10 PM
img401.imageshack.us
Nothing like perpetuating the stereotype.
 
2013-01-21 03:41:18 PM
I'm gonna go post this all over the engineering department. Or would, if we had one.
 
2013-01-21 03:41:22 PM
And then when no one is watching, the people in medicine acted like total dicks and the engineers went back to giggling at videos of kittens.

Actually, a lot of people that apparently come across as warm, empathetic, and friendly to most seem terribly fake to me. They're all big smiles and "Hi! I'm a friendly happy person! I'm lovable! You should love me!" to which I respond "No," like that grumpy cat.
 
2013-01-21 03:41:44 PM

Champion of the Sun: I'm a sanitation engineer and I love you all.


Throwing out a bag full of broken glass, cuz fark you happy happerton.
 
2013-01-21 03:42:41 PM
That's not entirely true; some engineers remain quite capable of anger.

/SW/Comp Engineer
 
2013-01-21 03:42:46 PM
Are they implying "computer engineers" are software developers? That's not quite right - computer engineering (at least in Canada) is a weird mix of electrical engineering and software development.

As someone with a computer engineering degree, I find offense at the implication that I feel empathy.
 
2013-01-21 03:42:57 PM
i work for an engineering firm

pretty much on par

/not an engineer
 
2013-01-21 03:42:59 PM
I'm an electrical engineer; the headline is accurate.

The fact that other people besides me live on this planet fills me with a quiet rage.
 
2013-01-21 03:43:03 PM
Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.
 
2013-01-21 03:43:08 PM

Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer, I would like to refute the headline/

I'd like to, but I can't.

/so lonely


There's no such thing as a civil engineer
 
2013-01-21 03:43:18 PM
confessionsofacurlymind.files.wordpress.com

But I thought they enjoyed gift-giving.
 
2013-01-21 03:43:21 PM
But! I'm a Vulcan!
 
2013-01-21 03:44:17 PM
fool me once, shame on you
fool me twice, deltree
 
2013-01-21 03:45:03 PM
Trollin from a pro Linux site
/More likely than you think
 
2013-01-21 03:45:03 PM

Ethertap: I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer



That, and they'd always just "happen" to wander over to the Engineering Center on Doughnut Hole Thursdays. Farking parasites.
 
2013-01-21 03:45:26 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Finance major - Braindead inside


Advanced Degrees - what they really mean
MA: Malicious Asshole
Ph.D: Piled High and Deep
MD: Mentally Defective
MBA: Minimal Brain Activity.
 
2013-01-21 03:45:36 PM
Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.
 
2013-01-21 03:46:00 PM

FormlessOne: FTA: The computing students, once gender effects had been eliminated, actually came out basically the same as medical and caring types: they had turned out to be normal, warm, caring human beings. It was in fact the physics-based classical engineers who were dead inside.

I can't really vouch for that, having met everything from normal, warm, caring developers to cold, dead, purely rational developers. Tech writers are fantastic folks, while the UI folks are a little too "touchy-feely" for me. And, as usual, PMs vary from friendly lying snakes to unfriendly lying snakes.

They're nothing compared to the IT admins, though. Friggin' sadistic sociopaths.

/I keed, I keed.


As a tech writer, I have to agree, although even without our ancient order, there are technical writers and there are information architects. That said, I wish I'd gone into editing: I may not be a redhead, but apparently it helps.
 
2013-01-21 03:46:06 PM
Disagrees:
Dusty in Here
 
2013-01-21 03:46:38 PM
The engineering students I knew in university were always caring and thinking about others...
Admittedly what they thought about was who had to go to class to take notes while everyone else nursed their hangovers, and what they cared about was that he/she was sober enough to write without trying to stick the pen up their nose, but it still counts!

/seeing what they exploded on April fool's day to set off the fire alarm was always an adventure too
//good times
 
2013-01-21 03:46:39 PM
wiki.teamfortress.com

Approves.
 
2013-01-21 03:46:55 PM

Ethertap: I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer


Ever notice how most engineering stereotypes are true :)
 
2013-01-21 03:47:46 PM

Ethertap: I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer


I thought me and my fellow chemical engineers were a very loving crowd.  The weekly field trips to distilleries and breweries senior year helped, I'm sure, but cold and dead inside? no way.
 
2013-01-21 03:47:55 PM
,fat inside.
 
2013-01-21 03:48:41 PM
Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.

More seriously a lot of engineers end up being managers after graduation. If there is any job that will make you hate people that's it.
 
2013-01-21 03:49:05 PM

FloydA: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Finance major - Braindead inside

Advanced Degrees - what they really mean
MA: Malicious Asshole
Ph.D: Piled High and Deep
MD: Mentally Defective
MBA: Minimal Brain Activity.


applies to me, at least...

/although perhaps more spite than malice...
 
2013-01-21 03:49:12 PM

ProfessorOhki: That's not entirely true; some engineers remain quite capable of anger.


That's because we have to work with those marketing people:
i1151.photobucket.com
YES - WE RERAN THE SOFTWARE MODEL WITH THE INCREASED ENVIRONMENTAL CRITERIA!!
WE EVEN FACTORED IN A LAYER OF PIGEON SH*T ON THE STRUCTURE!!!
 
2013-01-21 03:49:43 PM

catusr: mechanical engineer


Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer,



You know the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?


Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets!
/ tip your waitress
 
2013-01-21 03:50:06 PM

oldfarthenry: ProfessorOhki: That's not entirely true; some engineers remain quite capable of anger.

That's because we have to work with those marketing people:
[i1151.photobucket.com image 380x293]
YES - WE RERAN THE SOFTWARE MODEL WITH THE INCREASED ENVIRONMENTAL CRITERIA!!
WE EVEN FACTORED IN A LAYER OF PIGEON SH*T ON THE STRUCTURE!!!


Is that Pidgeon shiat load bearing?
 
2013-01-21 03:50:28 PM
Mechanical engineer here - Two loving children and coming up on 17 wonderful years of marriage. We (wife and I) also have an active social life (blessed with good friends).

Even my other engineering friends are pretty sociable people. Meh - maybe the researcher sampled a bad batch?
 
2013-01-21 03:50:32 PM
What a wonderful thread - it allows me to tag all of the other engineers.


/like animals
 
2013-01-21 03:51:08 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Finance major - Braindead inside


You're probably talking about undergrad finance majors and I don't really know what their curriculum is like but I can tell you from personal experience that graduate level finance isn't doable if you're braindead. Econometrics and game theory are not for the dull of mind.
 
2013-01-21 03:51:25 PM

Egoy3k: Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
.


The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.
 
2013-01-21 03:51:52 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.


I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.
 
rka
2013-01-21 03:52:44 PM

Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.


IT admins and Janitors. Both in charge of keeping the shiat flowing through the pipes.

I like that these cloud type companies are finding out they can fire all the sysadmins and keep moving just fine. Keep the sysadmin down at the big colo datacenters, locked up with each other in cages. Seems about right.

/i'm not really kidding.
 
2013-01-21 03:53:30 PM

SultanofSchwing: Champion of the Sun: I'm a sanitation engineer and I love you all.

Throwing out a bag full of broken glass, cuz fark you happy happerton.


"Broken glass," hell. Partially wrapping a week-dead wildebeest and putting it in a kitchen bag next to my neighbor's trash.
 
2013-01-21 03:53:49 PM

oldfarthenry:

That's because we have to work with those marketing people:


www.carolroth.com
We need to co-leverage our brand loyalties and deploy our solutions to the demographic segment. Let's take this offline later if you have the bandwidth.
 
2013-01-21 03:54:08 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.


Could be. Every time I've had a British doctor at the ER or emergency clinic, they're all friendly, laid back, and talk to patients as though the patient is a fellow human and not some peasant who is too stupid to possibly understand the details of their condition. The one guy would even phone people up at home with their lab/scan results as soon as they came in.
 
2013-01-21 03:55:32 PM
Tfa is probably very true but it coulda been written better. Language like "cold, dead inside" could describe an unskillful sociopath just as well as it could describe someone with a few schizoid tendencies, and the latter are quite harmless and actually kind of happy in our own weird little way.

/Engineer
//a little schizoid
 
2013-01-21 03:55:40 PM

Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.


A bright guy would've figured out that I'm a developer and tech writer, what with the compliments to both of those categories. But, then again, a bright guy wouldn't have taken personally what just about everyone else in the thread took as a gentle bit of humor.

I take it you're an IT admin, right?
 
2013-01-21 03:56:26 PM

FunkOut: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

Could be. Every time I've had a British doctor at the ER or emergency clinic, they're all friendly, laid back, and talk to patients as though the patient is a fellow human and not some peasant who is too stupid to possibly understand the details of their condition. The one guy would even phone people up at home with their lab/scan results as soon as they came in.


Weird. I've had a number of Canadian doctors (I'm Canadian). They've all been weird, anti-social freaks. Our latest doctor is from the UK, and he's the nicest, friendliest, most caring person I've ever met. Maybe it's just British doctors that are actual human beings...
 
2013-01-21 03:56:42 PM
Well this explains Fark.
 
2013-01-21 03:57:00 PM
It pisses me off that as a mechanical engineer, I normally have to find work in cities... with lots of other people around.

/Get off my lawn.
 
2013-01-21 03:57:02 PM
i260.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-21 03:57:17 PM
We're people too damnit.

Emotionally stunted and socially awkward, but still human(technically some of us might be cyborgs by now).
 
2013-01-21 03:57:27 PM

FormlessOne: Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.

A bright guy would've figured out that I'm a developer and tech writer, what with the compliments to both of those categories. But, then again, a bright guy wouldn't have taken personally what just about everyone else in the thread took as a gentle bit of humor.

I take it you're an IT admin, right?


He's not the standard! I'm an IT Admin, but I started out in Electrical Engineering...
 
2013-01-21 03:59:01 PM

SpectroBoy: Egoy3k: Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
.

The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.


A little confusion about means and averages maybe?
 
2013-01-21 03:59:21 PM
Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.
 
2013-01-21 03:59:39 PM
Perfect! Bar political office to all those except physics based engineering types with a career 10 years long or older.

I've had enough of the "it's for the children"/"it's a good first step, even if it's useless"/"fairness!" brand of governance.

At least with cold-hearted engineers in charge, we could look forward to government reports like, "The measure passed in 2003 has achieved no higher than 25% effectiveness according to the measurement protocol. According to the Historical Standard Regression Forecasting Algorithm, we can predict, based on past governmental performance, an end effectiveness of 21.5%. Therefore, using the Congressional 10-year re-authorization rules, the measure will have to pass a ( 100% - Effectiveness /2 ) or 89% vote to make it permanent. It is predicted that the measure will not pass this hurdle, and expire on schedule. Another measure passed in 2006 has been very successful, at 120% effectiveness this year alone, and will almost certainly become permanent in three years."
 
2013-01-21 04:00:15 PM
by surveying 200 students from six different study programs

Yeah, anyone can tell you that undergraduates don't have real human emotions. I'm more surprised the researcher was gullible enough to be fooled by the arts majors and so on, apparently sociopathy is stronger in this generation.
 
2013-01-21 04:00:29 PM
(runs into the room)

DID I MISS ANYTHING?

\Broadcast Engineer
\\transmitters to toilets and everything inbetween
 
2013-01-21 04:00:57 PM

cgraves67: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.


Ever met a plastic surgeon?

Easily the most farked up people walking the face of the Earth. BY FAR.
 
2013-01-21 04:01:02 PM
They just need somebody to love them.

Well and have sex with them.
 
2013-01-21 04:02:26 PM

WhippingBoy: Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.


\EE degree, ya happy now?
 
2013-01-21 04:02:40 PM
What happens when they test the guys cooking the Wall Street books?
 
2013-01-21 04:02:42 PM
Fiancee and I are both engineers. At least we're dead inside together.
 
2013-01-21 04:03:24 PM
I thought it was just me. Glad it's not just me. Go die.
 
2013-01-21 04:03:58 PM

SultanofSchwing: FormlessOne: Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.

A bright guy would've figured out that I'm a developer and tech writer, what with the compliments to both of those categories. But, then again, a bright guy wouldn't have taken personally what just about everyone else in the thread took as a gentle bit of humor.

I take it you're an IT admin, right?

He's not the standard! I'm an IT Admin, but I started out in Electrical Engineering...


No worries, I figured he's not the standard, as I work with all of those folks on a regular basis and, as a bright guy, realize that "single data point != mean." But, he does seem a bit... touchy.

I'm with you, more or less. I spent the first couple of years as a hardware admin (back in the day of DisplayWriters and running coax every-friggin'-where), the next decade or so as a developer, and the last decade or so as a programmer/writer. I've also done everything from handing out DoD components for clean-room assembly, to muck out bathrooms as a third-shift porter, to ride a keyboard in a typing pool for PriceWaterhouse (before they became PriceWaterhouseCoopersSomethingOrOther.) I've worked in warehouses, in boardrooms, and on farms. These days, I work mostly at home, thanks to a great employer and a dev team that (more or less) knows how to design & implement code.
 
2013-01-21 04:04:08 PM

CheapEngineer: WhippingBoy: Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.

\EE degree, ya happy now?


Yeah, we're cool.
 
2013-01-21 04:04:28 PM

littlett's: They just need somebody to love them.

Well and have sex with them.


Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.
 
2013-01-21 04:04:30 PM

SpectroBoy: catusr: mechanical engineer

Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer,


You know the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?


Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets!
/ tip your waitress


That is one of the first engineering jokes I ever heard. Wanna hear my favorite? ...too bad.

An engineer was talking to his buddy one day about a strange event that had happened to him.

"Man, it was bizarre. This amazingly beautiful woman rode up to me on a bicycle, threw it on the ground, tore off all her clothes and told me, 'Take what you want.' "

"So that's where you got that snazzy new bike from. Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit anyway."

Another great one:

Three engineering students were debating the existence and nature of the Almighty.

The first student, an electrical engineering major, argued that God must be an electrical engineer. "Just look at the human nervous system. The circuitry and neural pathways are astounding in their complexity and detail."

The second student, a mechanical engineering major, insisted that God was, in fact, a mechanical engineer. "Look at the human musculoskeletal system. Joints, loadbearing members, muscles pushing and pulling in perfect synchronization. It's poetry in motion."

The third student simply shook his head at the other two. "God is a Civil Engineer. Period."

"How do you know?" the pair asked.

"Who else would route a waste disposal pipeline through a recreational area?"

/Tip your veal, try the waitress.
//Mechanical Engineer, happily married.
///Still sometimes question my own sanity...I do think that engineers have a lower-than-average empathy score...we are just not people-person's by nature.
//Don't think that makes me "dead inside..."
/Unnecessary slashie to complete the pattern!
 
2013-01-21 04:05:07 PM
I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to.
 
2013-01-21 04:05:24 PM
Pfft, whatever. It's not like psychology is a real science anyway.
 
2013-01-21 04:05:28 PM

contrapunctus: cgraves67: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.

Ever met a plastic surgeon?

Easily the most farked up people walking the face of the Earth. BY FAR.


I would assume peeling apart and rearranging people's faces and tits and asses all day would either mess you up or you were messed up in the first place to want to do it. Usually some creepy guy in an expensive office surrounded by female robot assistants with scary huge smiles.
 
2013-01-21 04:06:07 PM

oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.


She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P
 
2013-01-21 04:06:53 PM

cgraves67: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.


The kinky hookers with all the toys are crazy expensive.
 
2013-01-21 04:07:04 PM
Engineers = cold and dead inside
Trick cyclists = 1000 BTU/lb, 85% moisture, 5% ash.
Clearly we need to add more trick cyclists to the fires.
 
2013-01-21 04:07:18 PM

littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P


Had to chuckle at that. Besides, you really need a cube to get that job done, as there are multiple factors involved and the only way to really drill down to that figure would be through a multidimensional query.
 
2013-01-21 04:07:22 PM

contrapunctus: Ever met a plastic surgeon?

Easily the most farked up people walking the face of the Earth. BY FAR.


Plastic.. or cosmetic? Plastic surgery is generally reconstructive.
 
2013-01-21 04:07:52 PM
This is complete bullshiat. The ex-engineer I know is full of love and care (but only for himself). The bald demon also has emotions: He makes everyone feel bad because that makes him feel good.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-21 04:07:52 PM
"You ever see an engineer's eyes? They have lifeless eyes,like a doll's eyes. Until they delete all your work, and the eyes roll over. Then there's the horrible scream,and the systems all crash. And despite all the pounding and hollering, all the engineers come in, and laugh at your pain."

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-21 04:07:54 PM

oldfarthenry: littlett's: They just need somebody to love them.

Well and have sex with them.

Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.


*PHEW* God, I thought I was the only one who had that problem with their wife.
 
2013-01-21 04:08:13 PM

littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P


She probably prefers an abacus
 
2013-01-21 04:08:19 PM

littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P


A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.
 
2013-01-21 04:08:20 PM
I'm not sure that I understand some of these responses, isn't being cold and dead on the inside a good thing? I work hard day in and day out to find new and innovative ways to kill people wouldn't a soul or ethics just get in the way?

/ME 25 years defense and aerospace
 
2013-01-21 04:08:25 PM
Fine. Go drive over a tall bridge designed by an insurance salesman.

/ not an engineer. Sympathize with their lack of ability for small talk
 
2013-01-21 04:09:53 PM

Nurglitch: SpectroBoy: Egoy3k: Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
.

The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.

A little confusion about means and averages maybe?


In a true normal distribution, mean, median, mode are the same.
 
2013-01-21 04:09:58 PM
is this the thread where we remind code monkeys that they are not engineers?

also this just in, janitors are also not engineers

only reason i feel dead inside is because of this retarded site
 
2013-01-21 04:10:08 PM

oldfarthenry: A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.


Shouldn't you be able to have a general estimate though based on values determined by previous experience?
 
2013-01-21 04:10:46 PM

slapmastered: *PHEW* God, I thought I was the only one who had that problem with their wife.


No, I also have a problem with your wife. WTF is up with her reluctance to do anal?
 
2013-01-21 04:10:50 PM

FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: FormlessOne: Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.

A bright guy would've figured out that I'm a developer and tech writer, what with the compliments to both of those categories. But, then again, a bright guy wouldn't have taken personally what just about everyone else in the thread took as a gentle bit of humor.

I take it you're an IT admin, right?

He's not the standard! I'm an IT Admin, but I started out in Electrical Engineering...

No worries, I figured he's not the standard, as I work with all of those folks on a regular basis and, as a bright guy, realize that "single data point != mean." But, he does seem a bit... touchy.

I'm with you, more or less. I spent the first couple of years as a hardware admin (back in the day of DisplayWriters and running coax every-friggin'-where), the next decade or so as a developer, and the last decade or so as a programmer/writer. I've also done everything from handing out DoD components for clean-room assembly, to muck out bathrooms as a third-shift porter, to ride a keyboard in a typing pool for PriceWaterhouse (before they became PriceWaterhouseCoopersSomethingOrOther.) I've worked in warehouses, in boardrooms, and on farms. These days, I work mostly at home, thanks to a great employer and a dev team that (more or less) knows how to design & implem ...


I think a lot of "fresher" admins get frustrated with people and it has a damaging effect on their personality. I know I used to get frustrated watching the 60-something office assistant scrolling a website by clicking the down arrow over and over. Now I just go to my happy place.
 
2013-01-21 04:11:10 PM
LOL you guys are funny.

So, Formless One, what everyone else took from my " /I keed, I keed" which I put there in emulation of your post because I thought it was funny, was just, what do you say, a little meta-humour? Ah? haha? You're too sensitive. I posted what I posted because I thought it was funny as sh*t. Convoluted, engineer-type humour, you know. By the way, I started as an electrical engineer, was a software developer for another 15 years, and I'm now in management. I consider IT admins to be semi-sociopathic but at least rational. They're nothing next to QA and HR people - those are the true, dyed-in-the-hate Hitlerian sickos. Izhn't dat veird?

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-01-21 04:11:19 PM

hitlersbrain: cgraves67: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.

The kinky hookers with all the toys are crazy expensive.


Remember, they're medical students. They're still wildly optimistic, positive about the impact they're going to have on the lives of others and on the world in general. Give them a few years. Once they're stuck between the Scylla of insurance and the Charybdis of business, trying to figure out how to navigate that oh-so-narrow path that gets a patient to health, and resigning themselves to the reality of feeding people to either of those monsters more often than not, well, they learn to maintain a healthy emotional distance from anything human.

Once that happens, then, yeah, it's time to pay to play, so they don't have to care about what happens after. Grim.
 
2013-01-21 04:11:57 PM

I drunk what: is this the thread where we remind code monkeys that they are not engineers?


Yes. Yes it is.

I like your moxie.
 
2013-01-21 04:12:44 PM
Engineer - Check
Dead inside - Check
Cold, uncaring, lack of empathy - Check

/and if you couldn't tell I'm fiscally conservative in the non-political sense
 
2013-01-21 04:14:03 PM

littlett's: oldfarthenry: A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.

Shouldn't you be able to have a general estimate though based on values determined by previous experience?


Lawyers hate the word "estimate" - especially when the plaintiff starts flashing those pictures of the tangled rubble.
 
2013-01-21 04:14:12 PM

oldfarthenry: littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P

A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.


This is so true. I use three calculators from different manufacturers, then verify the results in Excel. Finally my intern confirms that both our eyes are reading the same numbers, before I commit to an answer. After that I round to the nearest round number, because you know... I'm an engineer, not a goddamn scientist.
 
2013-01-21 04:14:52 PM

oldfarthenry: A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.


Yeah. This. Also, it's important to try to never memorize Building or Zoning Codes. Always look it up.
 
2013-01-21 04:15:26 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.


Since we have our lovely for profit medical system here in the States, I think the major motivating factor that many choose to become doctors is to get rich. Obviously, not ALL of them, but a pretty good chunk I would imagine. I've never had to receive any medical treatment outside of the US, so I can't speak for other countries.

Many US doctors could care less about alleviating suffering or curing illnesses. They just want $$$$$$$ and lots of it!

/YAY US healthcare!!!
 
2013-01-21 04:16:01 PM

SultanofSchwing: I think a lot of "fresher" admins get frustrated with people and it has a damaging effect on their personality. I know I used to get frustrated watching the 60-something office assistant scrolling a website by clicking the down arrow over and over. Now I just go to my happy place.


Yep. Try the old days, when computers weren't ubiquitous, and you had to train administrative assistants to move from the old Selectric III to a DisplayWriter (or, worse yet, a terminal.) It was a fun job.

Technology changes apace, but people remain people. The problems differ, but the issues are the same.
 
2013-01-21 04:16:50 PM

WhippingBoy: slapmastered: *PHEW* God, I thought I was the only one who had that problem with their wife.

No, I also have a problem with your wife. WTF is up with her reluctance to do anal?


I dunno. I've asked and begged and cajoled, but she just won't budge on that one. If you ever get her into it, I'll owe you a beer.
 
2013-01-21 04:16:55 PM
I'd guess "socially maladroit" is more accurate.

Which makes them not all that different from most other people, except that the engineers don't care. Many seem to have a strictly utilitarian mindset, whereby conversations that do not impart useful information are seen as a waste of time. Which they usually are.
 
2013-01-21 04:17:47 PM

rocketpants: oldfarthenry: littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P

A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.

This is so true. I use three calculators from different manufacturers, then verify the results in Excel. Finally my intern confirms that both our eyes are reading the same numbers, before I commit to an answer. After that I round to the nearest round number, because you know... I'm an engineer, not a goddamn scientist.


TRUST NOTHING

qph.cf.quoracdn.net

/hot
 
2013-01-21 04:18:02 PM
The engineers at my work hate me. I'm always finding new ways to break their machines, and even though the skilled trades department can fix them, it drives the engineers nuts that they don't know how I did it in the first place.

/nothing else to add
 
2013-01-21 04:18:24 PM
Here's a joke to add to the mix:

An engineer works in a factory, keeping the machines running. After many years, he retires. A few weeks later, one of the key machines breaks, and no one can figure out how to repair it. In desparation, they ask the retired engineer to consult. He comes in, takes a look, marks a part with chalk and tells the "replace that part and it'll work." They replace the part and all is well - until the engineer's bill arrives - for $50K!!

Outraged, the company asks for an invoice, so the engineer sends this:
$1 for chalk to mark with
$49,999 for knowing where to put the mark.
 
2013-01-21 04:19:08 PM

FunkOut: Usually some creepy guy in an expensive office surrounded by female robot assistants with scary huge smiles.


I totally picked the wrong career path.
 
2013-01-21 04:19:51 PM
There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.
 
2013-01-21 04:19:55 PM

oldfarthenry: Lawyers hate the word "estimate" - especially when the plaintiff starts flashing those pictures of the tangled rubble.


The estimates only give you a place to start.  Once you see the problem, then you can determine an acceptable solution based on the application and the appropriate design factor.
 
2013-01-21 04:20:51 PM

littlett's: oldfarthenry: A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.

Shouldn't you be able to have a general estimate though based on values determined by previous experience?


That's only good for a first run guesstimate of necessary forces. You start there and fine tune it with actual calculations and/or prototyping. Or management says "close enough, we'll fix it later if we need to".

Which means you then cover your ass by making sure the potential problem was documented as well as outlining how to correct it, because the drawing have already been released by management and this way, 6 months down the road, you don't have to spend 2 weeks redoing previous work. This often requires unpaid overtime.

Wait, what were we talking about?
 
2013-01-21 04:21:11 PM

Scruffinator: The engineers at my work hate me. I'm always finding new ways to break their machines, and even though the skilled trades department can fix them, it drives the engineers nuts that they don't know how I did it in the first place.

/nothing else to add


We hate people like you. No matter how many FMEA's we do, we can never ever ever account for every possible fark-up that you people can come up with.

/When we design an idiot-proof machine, the world design's a better class of idiot.
//The curse of the Mechanical Engineer.
 
2013-01-21 04:21:47 PM
Just because I considered the effect on my commute if a terrorist used a chemical weapon in the local metro does not mean that I am cold. I was thinking about getting home to my kids a bit faster.
 
2013-01-21 04:22:24 PM

Scruffinator: The engineers at my work hate me. I'm always finding new ways to break their machines, and even though the skilled trades department can fix them, it drives the engineers nuts that they don't know how I did it in the first place.

/nothing else to add


Like the maintenance guys always say: "Make it idiot-proof, and they will make a better idiot."
 
2013-01-21 04:23:02 PM

FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: I think a lot of "fresher" admins get frustrated with people and it has a damaging effect on their personality. I know I used to get frustrated watching the 60-something office assistant scrolling a website by clicking the down arrow over and over. Now I just go to my happy place.

Yep. Try the old days, when computers weren't ubiquitous, and you had to train administrative assistants to move from the old Selectric III to a DisplayWriter (or, worse yet, a terminal.) It was a fun job.

Technology changes apace, but people remain people. The problems differ, but the issues are the same.


I know I shiat on old people before, but one of the most upsetting things for me at present is fresh graduates having next to no computer related skills save for how to use Facebook. They can't setup documents properly or even use excel or outlook...then look to me to fix their problems for them because I'm the "computer guy." Which is fun because while I may be the Admin, I have a degree (and a 2 year diploma) as well as the typical certs, none of that ever included a class on Office, or how to make a goddamn pivot table...I don't even know what a pivot table is, leave me alone. You can't figure out how to justify a page? Google it. Call me when it won't connect to the domain.
 
2013-01-21 04:23:46 PM

SovietCanuckistan: There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.


How do you think we find so much time to post? I mean, it's not like we have to steer them.
 
2013-01-21 04:24:38 PM

Stephen_Falken: LOL you guys are funny.

So, Formless One, what everyone else took from my " /I keed, I keed" which I put there in emulation of your post because I thought it was funny, was just, what do you say, a little meta-humour? Ah? haha? You're too sensitive. I posted what I posted because I thought it was funny as sh*t. Convoluted, engineer-type humour, you know. By the way, I started as an electrical engineer, was a software developer for another 15 years, and I'm now in management. I consider IT admins to be semi-sociopathic but at least rational. They're nothing next to QA and HR people - those are the true, dyed-in-the-hate Hitlerian sickos. Izhn't dat veird?

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 320x240]


My apologies - you came off a bit too sharp. If your intent was humor, I'll retract my snark.

As for QA & HR people, don't get me started on HR people. Even the IT staff can fake enough interest to interact with you. It amazes me, sometimes, how HR folks actually have "Human" in their job descriptions, yet seem to see you just as a collection of paperwork that gets more complicated every time you talk to one of them. The range of HR folks has, for me, run the gamut from "nice, helpful, genuinely concerned" to "disconnected, resentful, genuinely disinterested" at my employers. Right now, I'm lucky - I get reasonably nice HR folks.

Our QA folks also seem rather nice, but I've not run into any truly impersonal or hostile QA folks - at worst, I've encountered QA folks so fried as to be unable to coherently function, due to "two hands, one brain, no time" syndrome, but none that were impersonal or hostile.
 
2013-01-21 04:24:51 PM

ProfessorOhki: SovietCanuckistan: There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.

How do you think we find so much time to post? I mean, it's not like we have to steer them.


Plus Charlie stole the handle.... so fark it.
 
2013-01-21 04:25:03 PM

WhippingBoy: Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.


What about the people that drive trains arent' they engineers too?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-21 04:25:54 PM

SovietCanuckistan: There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.


Oh you have no idea. We are everywhere. Everywhere.

EE. Now in systems engineering. Sold my soul a while back while on Wall St. And had a beautiful woman buy it back for me.
"Terminally employed". Engineering is not something you just up and decide you want to try. It's something you have inside you.
A burning desire to invent, or fix, or you are driven to solve problems. When we engineers hear "that can't be done" it's almost like a direct challenge to us.
 
2013-01-21 04:26:55 PM

steklo: WhippingBoy: Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.

What about the people that drive trains arent' they engineers too?


No, they're "Train-Steerers".
 
2013-01-21 04:27:01 PM

Ethertap: I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer


For me, it was spending every Thursday night in the lab either working on my senior design project (A search & rescue robot) or my VLSI project...

Business majors were out drinking because they didn't have any classes on Friday. -_-
 
2013-01-21 04:27:06 PM
"I solve problems. Not problems like 'what is beauty', because that would fall under the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems."
--Engineer, TF2
 
2013-01-21 04:28:16 PM
I went from a creative career to a tech career, so I always argue myself out of my own opinion on topics like this.
 
2013-01-21 04:28:26 PM

gja: Engineering is not something you just up and decide you want to try. It's something you have inside you.


That's a good way to put it. I know a lot of people who took engineering because "they were good at math". Only the ones that actually had it in their blood made it to the end.
 
2013-01-21 04:30:08 PM

simplicimus: "The computing students, once gender effects had been eliminated, actually came out basically the same as medical and caring types: they had turned out to be normal, warm, caring human beings. It was in fact the physics-based classical engineers who were dead inside. "
heh.
/computer engineer
/dead inside, mostly


We must enact legislation to BAN these "gender effects" immediately!

/think of the children
 
2013-01-21 04:30:41 PM

SultanofSchwing: FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: I think a lot of "fresher" admins get frustrated with people and it has a damaging effect on their personality. I know I used to get frustrated watching the 60-something office assistant scrolling a website by clicking the down arrow over and over. Now I just go to my happy place.

Yep. Try the old days, when computers weren't ubiquitous, and you had to train administrative assistants to move from the old Selectric III to a DisplayWriter (or, worse yet, a terminal.) It was a fun job.

Technology changes apace, but people remain people. The problems differ, but the issues are the same.

I know I shiat on old people before, but one of the most upsetting things for me at present is fresh graduates having next to no computer related skills save for how to use Facebook. They can't setup documents properly or even use excel or outlook...then look to me to fix their problems for them because I'm the "computer guy." Which is fun because while I may be the Admin, I have a degree (and a 2 year diploma) as well as the typical certs, none of that ever included a class on Office, or how to make a goddamn pivot table...I don't even know what a pivot table is, leave me alone. You can't figure out how to justify a page? Google it. Call me when it won't connect to the domain.


Often one of my complaints - folks don't do their own homework first before calling for help. These days, I'm a tech writer - it's hard not to take it personally when someone doesn't RTFM first, as I know what went into designing, implementing, and delivering that content. It's human nature, though - you're seen as "helpful", and so they call you for help. I keep reminding myself that we're all ignorant, just on different subjects. Doesn't always work, of course.
 
2013-01-21 04:30:41 PM

littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P


You'd think he could count to 3 without a calculator.
 
2013-01-21 04:31:15 PM
I find this to be completely correct.
/Fark off!
 
2013-01-21 04:31:31 PM

slapmastered: /When we design an idiot-proof machine, the world design's a better class of idiot.


Shouting into the wind: Like the maintenance guys always say: "Make it idiot-proof, and they will make a better idiot."


What can I say. I love my job.
 
2013-01-21 04:31:34 PM

gja: SovietCanuckistan: There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.

Oh you have no idea. We are everywhere. Everywhere.

EE. Now in systems engineering. Sold my soul a while back while on Wall St. And had a beautiful woman buy it back for me.
"Terminally employed". Engineering is not something you just up and decide you want to try. It's something you have inside you.
A burning desire to invent, or fix, or you are driven to solve problems. When we engineers hear "that can't be done" it's almost like a direct challenge to us.


Yup. I've been a dedicated Systems Engineer in the DoD sector for about 10 years now. The only thing that bugs me is how many people look for 'Systems Engineers' when they are really looking for an IT administrator or a software programmer.

/Doesn't program professionally.
//can debug, but I won't tell THEM that.
 
2013-01-21 04:31:40 PM

gja: When we engineers hear "that can't be done" it's almost like a direct challenge to us.


What is this "almost like?" I actually DO take "that can't be done" as a direct challenge. Ask my wife how long I'll bang my head against a problem.

/Until it submits.
//I've met brick walls with less determination.
 
2013-01-21 04:31:51 PM
Another joke:

An engineer, a priest and a surgeon are playing golf one day, but they keep getting held up by a slow group ahead of them. Frustrated, they ask their caddie what's the problem with the slow group. The caddie explains, "Those are firefighters who lost their eyesight while saving orphans from a fire!".

Feeling chagrinned about his impatience, the priest says, "Oh, that's terrible, I'll pray for them." Not to be out done, the surgeon chimes in "I'll donate some time and see if we can repair their eyes."

Then, the engineer asks:
"If they're blind, why can't they play at night?"
 
2013-01-21 04:34:26 PM
As a computer engineer, I can confirm that a lack of any emotional response to most stimuli, except for the response of revulsion and anxiety when in the presence of small children.
 
2013-01-21 04:35:08 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: [img401.imageshack.us image 500x268]
Nothing like perpetuating the stereotype.


What all black people want to be engineers?
 
2013-01-21 04:36:10 PM

Private_Citizen: Then, the engineer asks:"If they're blind, why can't they play at night?"


bwahahahaha.
 
2013-01-21 04:37:54 PM

Private_Citizen: Another joke:

An engineer, a priest and a surgeon are playing golf one day, but they keep getting held up by a slow group ahead of them. Frustrated, they ask their caddie what's the problem with the slow group. The caddie explains, "Those are firefighters who lost their eyesight while saving orphans from a fire!".

Feeling chagrinned about his impatience, the priest says, "Oh, that's terrible, I'll pray for them." Not to be out done, the surgeon chimes in "I'll donate some time and see if we can repair their eyes."

Then, the engineer asks:
"If they're blind, why can't they play at night?"


Optimist = The glass is half full
Pessimist = The glass is half empty
Engineer = The glass is too big
 
2013-01-21 04:40:09 PM
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes that he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says, "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude.

"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.
"I am", replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well..." says the balloonist. "Everything you told be was technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says, "You must be a Manager"

"I am", replies the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well..." says the man. "You don't know where you are, or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met but now it is somehow
my fault."

/Not an engineer, even if my job title says so
//Stupid BLS job descriptions
 
2013-01-21 04:41:22 PM
Dilbert?
 
2013-01-21 04:41:31 PM

hitlersbrain: What happens when they test the guys cooking the Wall Street books?


sociopaths... every one of 'em. (and most of the CEOs as well)
 
2013-01-21 04:41:39 PM

Oznog: We must enact legislation to BAN these "gender effects" immediately!


Clearly we're going to need to reduce the capacity of some forms of higher learning. And we'll base it off what they look like, not a factor that has anything to do with the actual issues at hand! Brilliant!
 
2013-01-21 04:42:03 PM
I am sure it has been said already, but most of the engineers I know would rate a "high functioning autism/Aspberger's". I'm sure I could self diagnose that myself as well, but I don't.

//Fear of social interaction (i.e. extreme shyness around new people) is completely different neurosis, isn't it?
 
2013-01-21 04:42:22 PM
I was just thinking about the fact if a child jumps off of something and gets hurt, a mother who walks up and says "I already explained this is why you should not do this. You will get hurt. Now we need to wash off your scrapes," is seen as uncaring and a mother who goes "Oh my poor little sweetie! It's okay, I'll kiss it better! Don't cry!" is normal. If the child was told about 20 times not to jump off as it will result in injury, I don't feel they are a poor little sweetie.
 
2013-01-21 04:42:35 PM

Private_Citizen: Another joke:

An engineer, a priest and a surgeon are playing golf one day, but they keep getting held up by a slow group ahead of them. Frustrated, they ask their caddie what's the problem with the slow group. The caddie explains, "Those are firefighters who lost their eyesight while saving orphans from a fire!".

Feeling chagrinned about his impatience, the priest says, "Oh, that's terrible, I'll pray for them." Not to be out done, the surgeon chimes in "I'll donate some time and see if we can repair their eyes."

Then, the engineer asks:
"If they're blind, why can't they play at night?"


Yeah...love that one.

Three friends were reminiscing about their love-lives, and whether it was better to have a wife, or a lover.

The first, a lawyer, expressed his love and appreciation for his wife. "She is the mother of my children, and we have made a fine place for ourselves as cornerstones of our community. I couldn't be where I am in life without her."

The second, an artist, insisted that his mistresses were preferable. "They keep me young, and vital. They are my muses, and my inspiration. My art would be much the poorer without my mistresses."

The third, an engineer simply said this. "I have both."

His two friends looked incredulously at him. "Why would you do that? What reason could you have for insisting on both?"

"Well, each one naturally assumes that I am with the other, which leaves me free to go to the lab and get some real work done."
 
2013-01-21 04:43:08 PM
In the old days, if anything went wrong during an execution, it was taken as an omen that the accused was truly innocent, and he would be set free. And so it was that one day, a surgeon, a banker, and an engineer were brought to the town square to be guillotined.

The surgeon is led to the platform and strapped into the guillotine, and the switch is thrown... and the blade stops an inch from his neck. Taken aback by this clear sign from above, the executioner lets him go. Then the banker is led to the platform and strapped into the guillotine, and the switch is thrown... and the blade stops an inch from his neck. The executioner is weeping at this double miracle he has witnessed, but lets the banker go. Then the engineer is led from to the platform and strapped into the guillotine, and he cranes his neck around and says to the executioner "Hey, I think I see where the problem is..."
 
2013-01-21 04:43:19 PM

The Angry Hand of God: Unable to care or love, claims Swedish trick-cyclist

At least engineers pay attention to stop signs. Bicyclists are always complaining aren't they?



Arachnophobe: Because when I want well researched psychological analysis, I go to a trick cyclist.


I had to look that up. Apparently "trick-cyclist" is UK slang for a psychiatrist, but it seems like a bit of stretch as a malapropism to me.
 
2013-01-21 04:43:45 PM
t2.gstatic.com
 
2013-01-21 04:44:24 PM
Yep. That's why we went into engineering in the first place.

Electrons don't ask us to feel their pain. And the laws of thermodynamics don't nag us to talk about our feelings.

The other way to phrase this, of course, is

Engineers, unlike other professions, don't allow irrational, primitive emotional states to overrule their intellects. That's why doctors make so many bad diagnoses.
 
2013-01-21 04:45:05 PM
As a structural engineer I can confirm that engineers are not cold and dead inside, it's that the control group of non-engineers you are comparing us to is comprised of emotionally unstable people. Also, we are not impressed with you ability to count to potato.
 
2013-01-21 04:45:07 PM

catusr: mechanical engineer - 63.2% dead inside


As another mechanical engineer I'm wondering what you are basing your measurement on?  100% alive, or 0% alive?  I'm also refuting any numbers about 30%, because I'm that ambiguously pragmatic guy in your meeting.
 
2013-01-21 04:47:55 PM

contrapunctus: [wiki.teamfortress.com image 250x336]

Approves.


i.imgur.com

Approves even more.
 
2013-01-21 04:48:20 PM
FTA:  We're aware that we also have many readers in the physics-based professions, but we needn't worry about them as they obviously won't care what anyone thinks of them or be able to see why they should.

Sheldon: I'm a physicist. I obviously don't care what anybody thinks of me, nor can I fanthom why they should expect me to be warm and caring. But I do have to concur with the central thesis of this article that engineers are cold and dead inside. Otherwise, life would be meaningless and devoid of purpose.

Wally: I'd be outraged but I'm too cold and dead inside. If you want warmth, make another pot of coffee. I'll have some.

Alice: Here comes the fist of death!

Dilbert: If computer programmers are warm and caring, who writes all the software? Evil trolls from accounting?
 
2013-01-21 04:48:42 PM

dryknife: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to.


so you have 'people skills'?
 
2013-01-21 04:51:41 PM

Sofa King Smart: dryknife: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to.

so you have 'people skills'?


HE IS GOOD, AT DEALING, WITH PEOPLE!!!
 
2013-01-21 04:52:54 PM

slapmastered: Sofa King Smart: dryknife: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to.

so you have 'people skills'?

HE IS GOOD, AT DEALING, WITH PEOPLE!!!


WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
 
2013-01-21 04:57:30 PM

SultanofSchwing: slapmastered: Sofa King Smart: dryknife: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to.

so you have 'people skills'?

HE IS GOOD, AT DEALING, WITH PEOPLE!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!


i188.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-21 04:58:09 PM

slapmastered: SultanofSchwing: slapmastered: Sofa King Smart: dryknife: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to.

so you have 'people skills'?

HE IS GOOD, AT DEALING, WITH PEOPLE!!!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

[i188.photobucket.com image 835x774]


Way to jump to conclusions
 
2013-01-21 04:58:36 PM
As a literature grad I see no point to trouble myself with the certitudes of mathematics and physics. It has no more interest to me than how a car engine works, which is to say, I know in a general sort of way how a car engine works. I just don't give a damn. Make it work.

I create worlds from the top down and leave the nitty-gritty to mechanics, like cosmologists, physicists, chemists, biologists, mathematicians and engineers.

This is not to say that I don't take an interest and read about physics. You have to get the details right some times or nit-pickers will get bogged down in continuity errors and other BS, instead of admiring my wit, humour and art.

To those who say that we are living in a computer simulation I say:  so? Does that change the rules?

And seriously, who writes this crap? It's buggier than a Kafka-themed costume party.
 
2013-01-21 04:58:59 PM

slapmastered: What is this "almost like?" I actually DO take "that can't be done" as a direct challenge. Ask my wife how long I'll bang my head against a problem.

/Until it submits.
//I've met brick walls with less determination.


My 96 Volvo keeps me perpetually busy with new and interesting problems. Last weekend, I had to take apart the door lock mechanism to see why it wasn't working. I had it all laid out on the kitchen table for about 5 hours, just banging my head trying to figure it out, until all of a sudden I got it. It was a glorious breakthrough. I went running into the other room to show my wife how, look, the door is locked, now it's unlocked, now it's open, and here it is closed again. She was somewhat less enthusiastic about it than I was.
 
2013-01-21 05:01:27 PM

sxacho: slapmastered: What is this "almost like?" I actually DO take "that can't be done" as a direct challenge. Ask my wife how long I'll bang my head against a problem.

/Until it submits.
//I've met brick walls with less determination.

My 96 Volvo keeps me perpetually busy with new and interesting problems. Last weekend, I had to take apart the door lock mechanism to see why it wasn't working. I had it all laid out on the kitchen table for about 5 hours, just banging my head trying to figure it out, until all of a sudden I got it. It was a glorious breakthrough. I went running into the other room to show my wife how, look, the door is locked, now it's unlocked, now it's open, and here it is closed again. She was somewhat less enthusiastic about it than I was.


Oh dear God...I've done that very thing to my wife...not with a '96 Volvo...but still, you know what I mean. Those "Eureka!" moments are what I live for.

/I'm a tinker at heart...now if only I could find a way to monetize it in the modern era of consumption and disposal...
 
2013-01-21 05:02:23 PM
So . . . I have both advanced engineering and a terminal art degree.
You have the gall to ask why I drink.
It's to STOP THE ARGUING IN MY HEAD.

some days it's like the office scene in Fight Club in here.
 
2013-01-21 05:06:50 PM

Marcintosh: So . . . I have both advanced engineering and a terminal art degree.
You have the gall to ask why I drink.
It's to STOP THE ARGUING IN MY HEAD.

some days it's like the office scene in Fight Club in here.


So, you make art until someone dies? Like the Joker?
 
2013-01-21 05:08:27 PM
i50.tinypic.com

He'll show you some love.
 
2013-01-21 05:11:01 PM

meat0918: I am sure it has been said already, but most of the engineers I know would rate a "high functioning autism/Aspberger's". I'm sure I could self diagnose that myself as well, but I don't.

//Fear of social interaction (i.e. extreme shyness around new people) is completely different neurosis, isn't it?


Schizoid personality disorder?
 
2013-01-21 05:13:36 PM
I went to liberal arts college where about one third of the students were engineers. They are not cold and dead inside. They are high-functioning autistics, nerds and geeks. Yes, they have the social skills of a steel wool tampon, but some of them are quite emotional little bunnies when you poke them with a sharp stick.

As a general rule, an engineer who is happy is a born engineer, fit for nothing else. They may fondly think that they are rational human beings (in fact, most of these types are fascists or communists and about as rational as a fur tea cup) and they may confuse engineering with science (in the same way idiots confuse book-keeping with merchant banking) but they are not so much dead inside as psychopathic.

Then you have the sad sacks who went into engineering because their parents expected it or because the money is good or what not. Not happy people. Bored, miserable people, in fact. They hate their jobs and would gladly quit to be anything.

Finally, you have the smarter sort of engineers. They take English literature courses once they graduate and have jobs because they would like to have been English majors instead of engineers, or because they realize something is missing that leaves them cold and empty inside, or simply because they realize that engineers can't communicate their way around a cardboard box. This class of engineers frequently graduate to management positions where they manage engineers and even real people.

These engineers should have been lawyers, because in their hearts they would sooner be novelists.

All lawyers think they have a novel in them, or at the very least, a collection of legal wit, humour and anecdotae. Some of them are right. Given enough time, some of them even become successful novelists and give up the law. They are particularly good at mystery novels, but some of the great authors have been part-time lawyers (and sometimes even successful lawyers). Being a lawyer is sometimes the price you have to pay for your sins. Most legal wit, humour and anecdotae are very dull and make you wonder what was supposed to be the point of the anecdote.
 
2013-01-21 05:14:50 PM
Pfft, English. When am I ever going to England?
 
2013-01-21 05:14:56 PM

FunkOut: Could be. Every time I've had a British doctor at the ER or emergency clinic, they're all friendly, laid back, and talk to patients as though the patient is a fellow human and not some peasant who is too stupid to possibly understand the details of their condition. The one guy would even phone people up at home with their lab/scan results as soon as they came in.


From what I hear med school in Europe is vastly different than the US. It's easier to get in to med school in Europe, but graduation rates are much lower, meaning they're weeding out potential doctors who can't cut the human side of things or who can't diagnose patients correctly. In the US med school graduation rates are astoundingly high. Likely 1/3 of them should wash out because they've got the bedside manor of a snake or their functional reasoning skills are bad.

\Mechanical Engineer, feels bad man.
 
2013-01-21 05:16:49 PM
ProfessorOhki : This is so true. I use three calculators from different manufacturers, then verify the results in Excel. Finally my intern confirms that both our eyes are reading the same numbers, before I commit to an answer. After that I round to the nearest round number, because you know... I'm an engineer, not a goddamn scientist.

TRUST NOTHING


Windows 7 calculator won't even let that get input as a valid expression, lol.
 
2013-01-21 05:17:39 PM

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: The Angry Hand of God: Unable to care or love, claims Swedish trick-cyclist

At least engineers pay attention to stop signs. Bicyclists are always complaining aren't they?


Arachnophobe: Because when I want well researched psychological analysis, I go to a trick cyclist.

I had to look that up. Apparently "trick-cyclist" is UK slang for a psychiatrist, but it seems like a bit of stretch as a malapropism to me.


Huh. Well, that does make more sense now. And I can see it as one of the rhyming-slang terms, none of which have ever made sense to me until someone else explained them.
 
2013-01-21 05:19:10 PM

lordargent: ProfessorOhki : This is so true. I use three calculators from different manufacturers, then verify the results in Excel. Finally my intern confirms that both our eyes are reading the same numbers, before I commit to an answer. After that I round to the nearest round number, because you know... I'm an engineer, not a goddamn scientist.

TRUST NOTHING

Windows 7 calculator won't even let that get input as a valid expression, lol.



Google says it's 9 D:
 
2013-01-21 05:19:52 PM

brantgoose: Finally, you have the smarter sort of engineers. They take English literature courses once they graduate and have jobs because they would like to have been English majors instead of engineers, or because they realize something is missing that leaves them cold and empty inside, or simply because they realize that engineers can't communicate their way around a cardboard box. This class of engineers frequently graduate to management positions where they manage engineers and even real people.


FWIW, some tech companies are realizing that promoting good engineers into managers is a terribly idea. The average engineer is not a good manager. These companies are providing career paths for people (like me) who are good at engineering and realize that they would be horrible managers.
 
2013-01-21 05:19:57 PM

lordargent: Windows 7 calculator won't even let that get input as a valid expression, lol.


"View > Scientific"
 
2013-01-21 05:22:50 PM

slapmastered: SpectroBoy: catusr: mechanical engineer

Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer,


You know the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?


Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets!
/ tip your waitress

That is one of the first engineering jokes I ever heard. Wanna hear my favorite? ...too bad.

An engineer was talking to his buddy one day about a strange event that had happened to him.

"Man, it was bizarre. This amazingly beautiful woman rode up to me on a bicycle, threw it on the ground, tore off all her clothes and told me, 'Take what you want.' "

"So that's where you got that snazzy new bike from. Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit anyway."

Another great one:

Three engineering students were debating the existence and nature of the Almighty.

The first student, an electrical engineering major, argued that God must be an electrical engineer. "Just look at the human nervous system. The circuitry and neural pathways are astounding in their complexity and detail."

The second student, a mechanical engineering major, insisted that God was, in fact, a mechanical engineer. "Look at the human musculoskeletal system. Joints, loadbearing members, muscles pushing and pulling in perfect synchronization. It's poetry in motion."

The third student simply shook his head at the other two. "God is a Civil Engineer. Period."

"How do you know?" the pair asked.

"Who else would route a waste disposal pipeline through a recreational area?"

/Tip your veal, try the waitress.
//Mechanical Engineer, happily married.
///Still sometimes question my own sanity...I do think that engineers have a lower-than-average empathy score...we are just not people-person's by nature.
//Don't think that makes me "dead inside..."
/Unnecessary slashie to complete the pattern!


A priest, a surgeon, and an engineer were playing golf one day.

The foursome ahead of them was having all sorts of problems. Couldn't hit the ball, couldn't find the ball, hit the ball in the wrong direction, drove their cart into a sandtrap, ..... They also were loud and obnoxious when the threesome asked to play through.

The three called the marshal over to complain about the foursome and to get his help in getting the foursome to let them play through.

The marshal came over to see what the problem was. "Oh them," he said, "that is a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight putting out a fire in our clubhouse last year, so we just let them play for free whenever they want."

The Priest said, "I am really touched by your compassion and their heroism. I am going to ask my congregation to pray for a miracle, so that someday they can regain their vision."

The Surgeon said, I am touched to, while I don't do eye surgery myself, I have a couple friends that do. I will ask them if there is anything my friends can do to help."

The Engineer turned to the Marshall and said, "Why don't they just play at night?"
 
2013-01-21 05:25:32 PM
My father is an engineer and one of the nicest men I have ever met. But there's a part of me that wonders if it's because he has run through a series of DOE's on us and determined that general kindness is the best path.
 
2013-01-21 05:25:38 PM

BokChoy: Clearly we need to ban engineering.


Our educational system has already taken care of it.
 
2013-01-21 05:25:52 PM
... If this @$$hole thinks *Engineers* are 'cold, dead, and soulless', he'd better hope he never looks into the Lovecraftian abyss that is an MBA.

/Technos can *too* be romantic.
 
2013-01-21 05:26:03 PM

cgraves67: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.


Double THIS

The most amotional, compassionless woman I ever made the mistake of entering into a (brief) relationship with was a medical doctor (and medical masseuse which led me into my mistake to begin with). Her favorite past-times were guzzling mulled wine... and watching her dog tear apart small animals.

Wish I were joking.
 
2013-01-21 05:26:19 PM

cgraves67: meat0918: I am sure it has been said already, but most of the engineers I know would rate a "high functioning autism/Aspberger's". I'm sure I could self diagnose that myself as well, but I don't.

//Fear of social interaction (i.e. extreme shyness around new people) is completely different neurosis, isn't it?

Schizoid personality disorder?


No, I want the relationships, and I do well once I'm comfortable (or have a few beers in me), but the anxiety leading up to that point can be overwhelming.

I hear Xanax helps, but given the choice between those side effect and alcohol's, I'll take the alcohol.
 
2013-01-21 05:26:36 PM

weiserfireman: slapmastered: SpectroBoy: catusr: mechanical engineer

Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer,


You know the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?


Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets!
/ tip your waitress

That is one of the first engineering jokes I ever heard. Wanna hear my favorite? ...too bad.

An engineer was talking to his buddy one day about a strange event that had happened to him.

"Man, it was bizarre. This amazingly beautiful woman rode up to me on a bicycle, threw it on the ground, tore off all her clothes and told me, 'Take what you want.' "

"So that's where you got that snazzy new bike from. Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit anyway."

Another great one:

Three engineering students were debating the existence and nature of the Almighty.

The first student, an electrical engineering major, argued that God must be an electrical engineer. "Just look at the human nervous system. The circuitry and neural pathways are astounding in their complexity and detail."

The second student, a mechanical engineering major, insisted that God was, in fact, a mechanical engineer. "Look at the human musculoskeletal system. Joints, loadbearing members, muscles pushing and pulling in perfect synchronization. It's poetry in motion."

The third student simply shook his head at the other two. "God is a Civil Engineer. Period."

"How do you know?" the pair asked.

"Who else would route a waste disposal pipeline through a recreational area?"

/Tip your veal, try the waitress.
//Mechanical Engineer, happily married.
///Still sometimes question my own sanity...I do think that engineers have a lower-than-average empathy score...we are just not people-person's by nature.
//Don't think that makes me "dead inside..."
/Unnecessary slashie to complete the pattern!

A priest, a surgeon, and an engineer were playing golf one day.

The foursome ahead of them was having all sorts of problems. Couldn't hit the ball, ...



Crap, should have read to the end of the comments before posting, sorry for the repeat
 
2013-01-21 05:27:01 PM

brantgoose: they are not so much dead inside as psychopathic.



No, no, no, no. That type of engineer's just a little schizoid, that's all, living a little too much inside his own head, maybe with a little of that overweening hubris inexperienced Engineers sometimes develop that comes from knowing you're really good at solving problems but not having had an embarrassing failure quite yet.
 
2013-01-21 05:28:21 PM
 
2013-01-21 05:28:43 PM
Engineering is about problem solving, and that takes logic and the aptitude to assemble information and get rid of the extraneous crap. This would explain my intolerance toward stupid people, because they can't do this.
 
2013-01-21 05:29:46 PM

brantgoose: ....


I'm not sure if self-aggrandizing or desperation are the better terms for what I am reading here.
 
2013-01-21 05:32:22 PM

Necronic: brantgoose: ....

I'm not sure if self-aggrandizing or desperation are the better terms for what I am reading here.


Just ignore the liberal arts major pontificating on the milk crates and get back to coding.
 
2013-01-21 05:32:24 PM

Necronic: My father is an engineer and one of the nicest men I have ever met. But there's a part of me that wonders if it's because he has run through a series of DOE's on us and determined that general kindness is the best path.


You say that as if it was a bad thing.....
 
2013-01-21 05:33:06 PM
I've worked with a lot of engineers, and I'm starting to think that the fact I've found most of them to be completely normal people says more about me than it does about them.
 
2013-01-21 05:34:09 PM

meat0918: cgraves67: meat0918: I am sure it has been said already, but most of the engineers I know would rate a "high functioning autism/Aspberger's". I'm sure I could self diagnose that myself as well, but I don't.

//Fear of social interaction (i.e. extreme shyness around new people) is completely different neurosis, isn't it?

Schizoid personality disorder?

No, I want the relationships, and I do well once I'm comfortable (or have a few beers in me), but the anxiety leading up to that point can be overwhelming.

I hear Xanax helps, but given the choice between those side effect and alcohol's, I'll take the alcohol.


As someone recovering from moderate agoraphobia & social anxiety disorder, Xanax is helpful only to a point, and alcohol doesn't work well as a coping mechanism, for the same reason - the point at which you're relaxed enough to function comfortably, but lucid enough to function well, is a tiny, tiny point on a long line, and it moves around a lot. By the time you think you're OK enough to deal with the panic attack or the situation, you're already over-medicated and might as well just go somewhere else to crash. Cognitive therapy and exposure therapy helped a lot more - the medication just makes that therapy go better & easier, and helps to manage the occasional panic attack.

For the last four years or so, I've carried a "security blanket" - a small aluminum screw-top pill container, containing enough Xanax to deal with the possibility of panic attack. The last time I used it was about a year and a half ago. These days, the few Xanax kept in it slowly grind each other to a powder, but I still carry it as, well, a security blanket.
 
2013-01-21 05:36:22 PM

Arthur Jumbles: Necronic: My father is an engineer and one of the nicest men I have ever met. But there's a part of me that wonders if it's because he has run through a series of DOE's on us and determined that general kindness is the best path.

You say that as if it was a bad thing.....


I'm 95% confident it was a very good thing
 
2013-01-21 05:37:39 PM

aprentic: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Finance major - Braindead inside

You're probably talking about undergrad finance majors and I don't really know what their curriculum is like but I can tell you from personal experience that graduate level finance isn't doable if you're braindead. Econometrics and game theory are not for the dull of mind.


I'm in the process of working on my MPA to pursue a career in public service after a double major in Finance/Econ. I love graduate work just because it IS so challenging, and I agree with you on the undergraduate work.
 
2013-01-21 05:39:10 PM
My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?
 
2013-01-21 05:41:00 PM

brantgoose: Finally, you have the smarter sort of engineers. They take English literature courses once they graduate and have jobs because they would like to have been English majors instead of engineers, or because they realize something is missing that leaves them cold and empty inside, or simply because they realize that engineers can't communicate their way around a cardboard box.


Or maybe, as I tore through most of the Russian, German and ancient classics, world folktales and philosophy while working towards my engineering degree, it was just so much better than suffering conversations with people who write like you.
 
2013-01-21 05:41:42 PM

two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?


People are gonna shiat on me for it, but I'd say yes. An engineer doesn't have to be limited to certain disciplines, at it's root an engineer is someone who comes up with ways to solve technical problems.
 
2013-01-21 05:42:34 PM
and I used it's instead of its...whatever, listening to music.
 
2013-01-21 05:42:37 PM
"Journalists are lazy and inept. Unable to work or research."
 
2013-01-21 05:44:11 PM

two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?


No farking way.
 
2013-01-21 05:44:31 PM
Reading TFA, I am at a loss for words; Tongue tied, if you will.
 
2013-01-21 05:45:39 PM

FormlessOne: meat0918: cgraves67: meat0918: I am sure it has been said already, but most of the engineers I know would rate a "high functioning autism/Aspberger's". I'm sure I could self diagnose that myself as well, but I don't.

//Fear of social interaction (i.e. extreme shyness around new people) is completely different neurosis, isn't it?

Schizoid personality disorder?

No, I want the relationships, and I do well once I'm comfortable (or have a few beers in me), but the anxiety leading up to that point can be overwhelming.

I hear Xanax helps, but given the choice between those side effect and alcohol's, I'll take the alcohol.

As someone recovering from moderate agoraphobia & social anxiety disorder, Xanax is helpful only to a point, and alcohol doesn't work well as a coping mechanism, for the same reason - the point at which you're relaxed enough to function comfortably, but lucid enough to function well, is a tiny, tiny point on a long line, and it moves around a lot. By the time you think you're OK enough to deal with the panic attack or the situation, you're already over-medicated and might as well just go somewhere else to crash. Cognitive therapy and exposure therapy helped a lot more - the medication just makes that therapy go better & easier, and helps to manage the occasional panic attack.

For the last four years or so, I've carried a "security blanket" - a small aluminum screw-top pill container, containing enough Xanax to deal with the possibility of panic attack. The last time I used it was about a year and a half ago. These days, the few Xanax kept in it slowly grind each other to a powder, but I still carry it as, well, a security blanket.


The cognitive behavior therapy and pills helped in college, but my insurance covered the meds back then and the therapy sessions were free through the university.

Now it's all out of pocket and I can't afford it, even with insurance at my current workplace.
 
2013-01-21 05:45:45 PM
I am an electrical engineer and I can assure you I am not dead inside. If I was, it would be rather difficult to type something in this thread.
 
2013-01-21 05:47:08 PM
Does this apply to architects? Cause I'm drunk inside.
 
2013-01-21 05:47:11 PM
Engineers also trend way more conservative than the average, especially the college-educated average.

Having worked with a few engineers in my day, my anecdotal experience aligns with the article. Exceptions aside, the range of emotion in the engineering field tends to be a binary value of either "angry" or "busy". I have never felt more pity than when watching a Kurosawa movie with an engineer. "Not getting it" would be putting it lightly.
 
2013-01-21 05:47:51 PM

WhippingBoy: two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?

No farking way.


Why not? What part of their job precludes them from referring to themselves as an engineer? You don't have to have a P.Eng or a license to be called an Engineer in the strictest sense of the word.
 
2013-01-21 05:48:23 PM
I can turn it on or off, but when it's on, the caring algorithm still needs a little work.
 
2013-01-21 05:50:23 PM

ProfessorOhki: That's not entirely true; some engineers remain quite capable of anger.


Or as it's more commonly known, "People skills"

www.mnpokermag.com


SultanofSchwing: An engineer doesn't have to be limited to certain disciplines, at it's root an engineer is someone who comes up with ways to solve technical problems.


Pretty much this, as opposed to, say, "Sanitation Engineer" meaning the guy who throws the trash into the truck...

=Smidge=
/"Software Engineer" means "code monkey" more often than not...
 
2013-01-21 05:55:41 PM

SultanofSchwing: Necronic: brantgoose: ....

I'm not sure if self-aggrandizing or desperation are the better terms for what I am reading here.

Just ignore the liberal arts major pontificating on the milk crates and get back to coding.


Are you aware how difficult it is to obtain milk crates these days? It's much easier to get empty boxes the bags of coffee came in.
 
2013-01-21 05:55:49 PM
Meh, engineers are still better than accountants.
 
2013-01-21 05:56:01 PM

Smidge204: Pretty much this, as opposed to, say, "Sanitation Engineer" meaning the guy who throws the trash into the truck...

=Smidge=
/"Software Engineer" means "code monkey" more often than not...


Yeah I can see terms like "Sanitation Engineer" being a thorn in the side, but I'm pretty sure nobody is meant to take that title seriously, ever. The core of my education was given under the umbrella term "Network Engineer," I'm certainly no Professional Engineer nor do I wear a steel ring at the end of my digits. But my training and job involves coming up with creative means to interconnect devices and their users while observing cost restraints and practicality to create a successful plan and implementation. So I definitely put "Network Engineer" on my resume, because it's true.
 
2013-01-21 05:57:41 PM

SultanofSchwing: two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?

People are gonna shiat on me for it, but I'd say yes. An engineer doesn't have to be limited to certain disciplines, at it's root an engineer is someone who comes up with ways to solve technical problems.


Eeeh. I thought the alternative title for gaffer was "Chief Lighting Technician". The difference usually being execution vs. design. IMHO, a lighting engineer would be someone designing new lighting equipment. The same way an "audio engineer" is the one designing the speakers, not the guy running the mixer. YMMV.
 
2013-01-21 06:00:16 PM

89 Stick-Up Kid: Meh, engineers are still better than accountants.


They are natural enemies. Accountant: "How much will it cost?" Engineer: "How the heck would I know? I'm not an accountant."
 
2013-01-21 06:01:18 PM

ProfessorOhki: SultanofSchwing: two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?

People are gonna shiat on me for it, but I'd say yes. An engineer doesn't have to be limited to certain disciplines, at it's root an engineer is someone who comes up with ways to solve technical problems.

Eeeh. I thought the alternative title for gaffer was "Chief Lighting Technician". The difference usually being execution vs. design. IMHO, a lighting engineer would be someone designing new lighting equipment. The same way an "audio engineer" is the one designing the speakers, not the guy running the mixer. YMMV.


I suppose, I see it as they're designing the layout for it or coming up with a means to light a particularly difficult set or in a particular manner in a practical way. Now if they're just someone being told to put light A at spot B, then I would agree that they're not engineers and just technicians.
 
2013-01-21 06:03:25 PM
Somewhere, a team of psych researchers are screaming in fury and banging their heads against the wall.

/Psychologists  love how much journalists extrapolate
//Or figure out how to make money from it
///Love it or hate it, unless you want a one-way ticket to the loony bin...
 
2013-01-21 06:04:05 PM
Nuclear engineers like me will leave you with a warm glow inside.

/Take that any way you want
 
2013-01-21 06:07:24 PM

Nurglitch: A little confusion about means and averages maybe?


In arithmetic the mean is one of several types of averages. When most people say "average" they arithmetic mean. When modern IQ tests are devised, the mean (average) score within an age group is set to 100 and the standard deviation (SD) almost always to 15.

Neglecting extreme outliers (which would not affect the statistic much anyway) and assuming the distribution is close to normal (it nearly is), then YES, about 1/2 the people are below average.

Also, in a normal distribution, mean, median, mode are the same. So YES, I would say there is some "confusion about means and averages" and I would say it lies with you.
 
2013-01-21 06:08:37 PM

simplicimus: 89 Stick-Up Kid: Meh, engineers are still better than accountants.

They are natural enemies. Accountant: "How much will it cost?" Engineer: "How the heck would I know? I'm not an accountant."


And I've cleaned up many accountants' messes. I've never seen a profession so well set up will policies and procedure and that is so inept at following them.

/Thanks for ruining the economy accounting and finance people
 
2013-01-21 06:10:39 PM
Besides, I think the real definition of an engineer is someone who is excited to get a screwdriver set for Christmas.
 
2013-01-21 06:11:26 PM
So...

An engineer, a scientist, and a mathematician are riding on a train through Scotland. Out the window, on the hillside, they see a black sheep. The engineer says "I guess the sheep in Scotland are black!". The scientist scowls and smugly corrects him; "All we know at this point is that SOME sheep in Scotland are black."

Finally the mathematician can stand no more and says; "All we REALLY know is that at least one sheep in Scotland is black on at least one side at least some of the time.


/ Tip your sheep and shave your waitress
 
2013-01-21 06:14:55 PM

meat0918: FormlessOne: meat0918: cgraves67: meat0918: I am sure it has been said already, but most of the engineers I know would rate a "high functioning autism/Aspberger's". I'm sure I could self diagnose that myself as well, but I don't.

//Fear of social interaction (i.e. extreme shyness around new people) is completely different neurosis, isn't it?

Schizoid personality disorder?

No, I want the relationships, and I do well once I'm comfortable (or have a few beers in me), but the anxiety leading up to that point can be overwhelming.

I hear Xanax helps, but given the choice between those side effect and alcohol's, I'll take the alcohol.

As someone recovering from moderate agoraphobia & social anxiety disorder, Xanax is helpful only to a point, and alcohol doesn't work well as a coping mechanism, for the same reason - the point at which you're relaxed enough to function comfortably, but lucid enough to function well, is a tiny, tiny point on a long line, and it moves around a lot. By the time you think you're OK enough to deal with the panic attack or the situation, you're already over-medicated and might as well just go somewhere else to crash. Cognitive therapy and exposure therapy helped a lot more - the medication just makes that therapy go better & easier, and helps to manage the occasional panic attack.

For the last four years or so, I've carried a "security blanket" - a small aluminum screw-top pill container, containing enough Xanax to deal with the possibility of panic attack. The last time I used it was about a year and a half ago. These days, the few Xanax kept in it slowly grind each other to a powder, but I still carry it as, well, a security blanket.

The cognitive behavior therapy and pills helped in college, but my insurance covered the meds back then and the therapy sessions were free through the university.

Now it's all out of pocket and I can't afford it, even with insurance at my current workplace.


I understand - I was a contractor for the last couple of years, and while the money was good, medical costs were slowly killing us. Late last year, I took a permanent position with my last client, in part, because of the healthcare benefits. Therapy's expensive as hell, and medication prices have gone insane. My wife takes a raft of medications to keep her out of a wheelchair (she's had osteo & rheumatoid arthritis since her late teens), and paying for that out of pocket was expensive (like "additional mortgage payment each month" expensive.)
 
2013-01-21 06:15:48 PM
So the article is saying that individuals who like people and emotional drama go into fields where they work with people and emotional drama occurs, and individuals who are analytical, find dealing with people draining and don't like drama go into careers where they can work with data rather than people, and emotional drama is a detriment?

What a surprise!
Someone call Rick Romero

Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.

Shocking to think that people who use their brain all the time would have trouble dealing with people who don't use it ever!

Actually, a lot of people that apparently come across as warm, empathetic, and friendly to most seem terribly fake to me. They're all big smiles and "Hi! I'm a friendly happy person! I'm lovable! You should love me!" to which I respond "No," like that grumpy cat.

This
Just because you are waiting on my table or taking my bank deposit doesn't mean you have to be my best buddy.
 
2013-01-21 06:15:50 PM
What's the difference between a Mechanical Engineer and a Civil Engineer?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
 
2013-01-21 06:16:06 PM

SultanofSchwing: Besides, I think the real definition of an engineer is someone who is excited to get a Torx screwdriver set for Christmas.


FTFY. And, yes, I was. :)
 
2013-01-21 06:18:36 PM

FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: Besides, I think the real definition of an engineer is someone who is excited to get a Torx screwdriver set for Christmas.

FTFY. And, yes, I was. :)


The highlight of my day out last weekend was getting a 280 piece bit set for $30 at Canadian Tire...thing has like 50 PH2 heads in it, so excited to lose them all.
 
2013-01-21 06:20:36 PM

SultanofSchwing: FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: Besides, I think the real definition of an engineer is someone who is excited to get a Torx screwdriver set for Christmas.

FTFY. And, yes, I was. :)

The highlight of my day out last weekend was getting a 280 piece bit set for $30 at Canadian Tire...thing has like 50 PH2 heads in it, so excited to lose them all.


That's part of the fun, isn't it? And it's always the ones you need (because, after all, those are the ones you take out...)
 
2013-01-21 06:21:31 PM
Depends how you cook them, I guess. Microwaving them does leave the inside cold.
 
2013-01-21 06:22:46 PM

FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: Besides, I think the real definition of an engineer is someone who is excited to get a Torx screwdriver set for Christmas.

FTFY. And, yes, I was. :)

The highlight of my day out last weekend was getting a 280 piece bit set for $30 at Canadian Tire...thing has like 50 PH2 heads in it, so excited to lose them all.

That's part of the fun, isn't it? And it's always the ones you need (because, after all, those are the ones you take out...)


Yeah my last set has a full supply of flats but only like 2 or 3 of the original phillips with a couple I've found, no robertsons at all anymore, I was in dire need of a new set.
 
2013-01-21 06:27:27 PM

SultanofSchwing: ProfessorOhki: SultanofSchwing: two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?

People are gonna shiat on me for it, but I'd say yes. An engineer doesn't have to be limited to certain disciplines, at it's root an engineer is someone who comes up with ways to solve technical problems.

Eeeh. I thought the alternative title for gaffer was "Chief Lighting Technician". The difference usually being execution vs. design. IMHO, a lighting engineer would be someone designing new lighting equipment. The same way an "audio engineer" is the one designing the speakers, not the guy running the mixer. YMMV.

I suppose, I see it as they're designing the layout for it or coming up with a means to light a particularly difficult set or in a particular manner in a practical way. Now if they're just someone being told to put light A at spot B, then I would agree that they're not engineers and just technicians.


Yeah, the line between the two blurs quite a bit. In the SW world, it sort of seems like it's just there to distinguish hourly from salaried. Who cares about titles anyway; that sounds like marketing talk. From an engineering stand point, as long as the set gets lit, who cares if they're credited as "Photon Emitter Spatial Placement Coordination Designers." :)
 
2013-01-21 06:36:26 PM
A doctor, a lawyer and an engineer had into the washroom to do their business at the urninal.
After, the Doctor washes his hands and says " I deal with patients all day so I have to make sure my hands are clean"

The lawyer washes his hands and says " I am a lawyer and I deal with signing papers all day so I take extra care to make sure my hands are clean
The engineer passes by the wash basins as the other two look at him with disgust
He says "what? I am an engineer. I don't piss on my hands"
 
2013-01-21 06:39:04 PM
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7547831/82032231#c82032231" target="_blank">Russ1642</a>:</b> <i>Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer, I would like to refute the headline/

I'd like to, but I can't.

/so lonely

There's no such thing as a civil engineer</i>

Ha! True. There's also no such thing as a software engineer.
 
2013-01-21 06:40:00 PM
"Unable to care or love, claims Swedish trick-cyclist"

Yeah, this girl sounds legit.
 
2013-01-21 06:43:06 PM
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7547831/82032339#c82032339" target="_blank">oldfarthenry</a>:</b> <i>ProfessorOhki: That's not entirely true; some engineers remain quite capable of anger.

That's because we have to work with those marketing people:
[i1151.photobucket.com image 380x293]
YES - WE RERAN THE SOFTWARE MODEL WITH THE INCREASED ENVIRONMENTAL CRITERIA!!
WE EVEN FACTORED IN A LAYER OF PIGEON SH*T ON THE STRUCTURE!!!</i>

Seriously, what the hell is the deal with marketing types anyway?

/ee here
 
2013-01-21 06:44:06 PM
All professions can be explained in terms of 'Star Trek.'

Engineers come in three flavors, Scotty, Geordi and Data. The Data ones are the best at sheer technical prowess, but the worst at dealing with others.

Doctors come in three flavors, Dr. Crusher, Dr. McCoy and Dr. Bashir. Bashirs are a little arrogant, Crushers have the best bedside manner, and McCoys typically wind up being the surgeons.

I.T. professionals are either Klingons, Cardassians or Trill. If your I.T. person is the kind of person who will irritatedly shove you out of the way, fix it without telling you how and then head back to the office, that's the Klingon variety. The Cardassian variety will block or disable stuff if you mess it up and takes great glee in having authority. And the Trill, being a joined species, is typically a person who started in I.T. but has another skillset, and is thus markedly more chill and fun at parties.

The receptionists, who seem to always be female, are also always Betazeds. Ever notice how a pudgy, middle-aged lady whose skillset includes phones, faxes, copies and typing somehow always knows everything that's going on with a staff of engineers, doctors and I.T.? It's because she's the team mom and everyone brings their problems to her, much like Counselor Troi. Same goes for the tendency of some younger receptionists to be quite busty.

And Human Resources are all Borg. No exceptions.
 
2013-01-21 06:46:29 PM
Article is total nonsense. I'm an engineer and i'm not cold or unable to love. I have simply made some remarkable improvements to my thermal efficiencies and introduced some dampening feedback to my emotional responses for improved stability and concentration.
 
2013-01-21 06:50:24 PM
I'm a coder. I think about three things:
1. 1's
2. 0's
3. Murdering your family in their sleep
 
2013-01-21 06:52:15 PM
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7547831/82032128#c82032128" target="_blank">mr_fulano</a>:</b> <i>Civil engineer here. Don't care what you guys think.</i>

me too. fark off.
 
2013-01-21 06:57:13 PM
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7547831/82033815#c82033815" target="_blank">sxacho</a>:</b> <i>My 96 Volvo keeps me perpetually busy with new and interesting problems. Last weekend, I had to take apart the door lock mechanism to see why it wasn't working. I had it all laid out on the kitchen table for about 5 hours, just banging my head trying to figure it out, until all of a sudden I got it. It was a glorious breakthrough. I went running into the other room to show my wife how, look, the door is locked, now it's unlocked, now it's open, and here it is closed again. She was somewhat less enthusiastic about it than I was.</i>

Given that the evil car you just described is a Volvo, and that the study in TFA was done in Sweden, is it possible that only <i>Swedish </i>engineers are horrible human beings? Seems logical.
 
2013-01-21 07:01:32 PM
As an architect I'd like to say engineers are always farking up our designs. Oh sure, NOW you want to put a column there.
 
2013-01-21 07:03:21 PM

Shouting into the wind: Private_Citizen: Another joke:

An engineer, a priest and a surgeon are playing golf one day, but they keep getting held up by a slow group ahead of them. Frustrated, they ask their caddie what's the problem with the slow group. The caddie explains, "Those are firefighters who lost their eyesight while saving orphans from a fire!".

Feeling chagrinned about his impatience, the priest says, "Oh, that's terrible, I'll pray for them." Not to be out done, the surgeon chimes in "I'll donate some time and see if we can repair their eyes."

Then, the engineer asks:
"If they're blind, why can't they play at night?"

Optimist = The glass is half full
Pessimist = The glass is half empty
Engineer = The glass is too big


Actually, the glass is just the right size. I prefer to spec double my estimated worst case scenario.
 
2013-01-21 07:03:33 PM
engineering is why they invented LSD
 
2013-01-21 07:08:06 PM
I'm not dead inside, I just smell that way.
 
2013-01-21 07:08:11 PM
Funny but true in my case. Someone talking about "the weather" or their visit to the store is like nails on a chalkboard to me. And good luck finding a babe who wants to talk about neutron flux density or Wigner energy.
 
2013-01-21 07:09:24 PM
This reminds of the study conducted by Starbuck's associates which concluded all rich people are evil, and all poor people are good and noble.
 
2013-01-21 07:21:52 PM
Hubby is an engineer, and knowing him and his co-workers/friends, plus my uncle and brother-in-law, I find this article to be complete and total crap. They're all really caring, devoted people. I can only speak for one, but based on that particular data all engineers are amazing lovers, too. :P
 
2013-01-21 07:23:25 PM

Pointy Tail of Satan: Funny but true in my case. Someone talking about "the weather" or their visit to the store is like nails on a chalkboard to me. And good luck finding a babe who wants to talk about neutron flux density or Wigner energy.


Crap. Me too. My wife will blather on about her day and all the utterly insignificant things that happened to her and how they made her feel. I have to sit there nodding my head like an idiot and pretend to care; beneath the surface, I'm screaming in pain and slowly dying from the soul-crushing mediocrity.
 
2013-01-21 07:28:43 PM

simplicimus: "The computing students, once gender effects had been eliminated, actually came out basically the same as medical and caring types: they had turned out to be normal, warm, caring human beings. It was in fact the physics-based classical engineers who were dead inside. "
heh.
/computer engineer
/dead inside, mostly


I find that hard to believe. You're talking about a bunch of people who spend a shiat-ton of time on places like 4chan.

/IT student
 
2013-01-21 07:30:28 PM

contrapunctus: oldfarthenry:

That's because we have to work with those marketing people:



We need to co-leverage our brand loyalties and deploy our solutions to the demographic segment. Let's take this offline later if you have the bandwidth.


Way to shift paradigms and revolitionize outside the box!
 
2013-01-21 07:31:11 PM

Marine1: simplicimus: "The computing students, once gender effects had been eliminated, actually came out basically the same as medical and caring types: they had turned out to be normal, warm, caring human beings. It was in fact the physics-based classical engineers who were dead inside. "
heh.
/computer engineer
/dead inside, mostly

I find that hard to believe. You're talking about a bunch of people who spend a shiat-ton of time on places like 4chan.

/IT student


A few years of QA hollowed out my soul.
 
2013-01-21 07:33:06 PM
How do you tell an introvert engineer from an extravert one? the extravert engineer is looking at your shoes while the introvert one is looking at his shoes.

/Father is a a retired civil engineer
//Likely one of the reasons i have autism
///Don't tip your server, if you do you won't have Internet access
////Good night folks
 
2013-01-21 07:34:57 PM

Smeggy Smurf: As an architect I'd like to say engineers are always farking up our designs. Oh sure, NOW you want to put a column there.


At least I can make my elevations match my floor plans. Not speaking to you personally, but I've worked with a few different architects that couldn't seem to do it. And even worse, they became indignant when shown the problem.

/No, there's no bedroom there, it's attic. Look at it. LOOK AT IT, YOU MORON! SEE? DO YOU SEE???
//Huh? No the floor plan governs. Read the specs.
///Um...
 
2013-01-21 07:36:48 PM
Born and hard wired to be an engineer.

Mechanical engineer. BS, MS Drexel University

73.4% dead inside.

Works for the Navy, keeping the War Machines running smoothly.

Never married.

Aerobatic pilot, SCUBA diver, skier, anti-social bicyclist

Serious equestrian and Foxhunter.

To put it gently, people are my least favorite animals.

/terrorist if it becomes necessary
 
2013-01-21 07:41:03 PM

WI241TH: Ethertap: I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer

I thought me and my fellow chemical engineers were a very loving crowd.  The weekly field trips to distilleries and breweries senior year helped, I'm sure, but cold and dead inside? no way.


My ChemE class was awesome, good group of people and just about all of us helped each other out along the way. That's why I tend to struggle with the engineers have no social skills part, those of us who work well in groups had a much easier time than the few who tried to do all the work alone. I'm not anywhere close to cold and dead on the inside, but I definitely fit the stereotype of the socially awkward technical guy.
 
2013-01-21 07:41:28 PM
My ex husband is a broadcast engineer.
Notice the word ex.
/agree with the article
 
2013-01-21 07:48:52 PM

mark12A: Born and hard wired to be an engineer.

Mechanical engineer. BS, MS Drexel University

73.4% dead inside.

Works for the Navy, keeping the War Machines running smoothly.

Never married.

Aerobatic pilot, SCUBA diver, skier, anti-social bicyclist

Serious equestrian and Foxhunter.

To put it gently, people are my least favorite animals.

/terrorist if it becomes necessary


You too?!

Father was an EE; Drexel INSTITUTE of Technology, 1969

Cousin: Arch and Civie Engineer (we call him the slow one), Drexel University 2002

Me: Chemical Engineer; 2007, Drexel University.

Only 65.4% Dead inside, selling your soul to the oil and gas industry helps erase some of the deadness because of all the god damn fun I get to have...

"wait, so you're telling me, that you're giving me a multi-million dollar, several thousand barrel a day processing unit to play with?! and you're paying me?! YOU! Turn that valve.... :operator: Why?! :me: "just cause I can see what happens"

/bauhahahahahaha
 
2013-01-21 07:49:57 PM
dead inside, i'll say not, i'm horny as hell
 
2013-01-21 07:51:00 PM
"unable to care or love" meaning MORE able to care or love. because they're not always thinking about sex
 
2013-01-21 07:52:20 PM
I am an engineer and I was married to an engineer for thirty years. My favorite part of being married to an engineer was that there was no project or problem too big to tackle. Plus, he'd talk dirty to me in Morse code.
 
2013-01-21 07:53:36 PM

oldfarthenry: littlett's: They just need somebody to love them.

Well and have sex with them.

Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.


Use her back as a scratch pad and perform the calculations by hand
 
2013-01-21 07:55:01 PM

sxacho: Smeggy Smurf: As an architect I'd like to say engineers are always farking up our designs. Oh sure, NOW you want to put a column there.

At least I can make my elevations match my floor plans. Not speaking to you personally, but I've worked with a few different architects that couldn't seem to do it. And even worse, they became indignant when shown the problem.

/No, there's no bedroom there, it's attic. Look at it. LOOK AT IT, YOU MORON! SEE? DO YOU SEE???
//Huh? No the floor plan governs. Read the specs.
///Um...


We're using Revit so that is impossible.

/roughly 98% accuracy rate between plans and elevations over the past 14 years
//2% WTF was I drunk?
 
2013-01-21 07:55:15 PM

Gramma: I am an engineer and I was married to an engineer for thirty years. My favorite part of being married to an engineer was that there was no project or problem too big to tackle. Plus, he'd talk dirty to me in Morse code.


My dream was to marry a fellow Chem E. Sadly, that doesn't seem to be coming true.
 
2013-01-21 07:55:48 PM
The Science graduate asks, "Why does it work?"
The Engineering graduate asks, "How does it work?"
The Accounting graduate asks, "How much will it cost?"
The Liberal Arts graduate asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

/The Computer Science graduate asks "You want it done by when ???"
 
2013-01-21 08:19:28 PM
I'm a mechanical engineer. I enjoy long walks on the beach, scratching trigonometric proofs into the sand with a large stick. I treasure the intimate conversations I hold with my computer, tossing my head back in laughter at the unexpected page fault error. And if it's warmth you're looking for, there's no one better at calculating thermal flux densities. So don't call me cold and insensitive, you four function math performing motherfarkers!
 
2013-01-21 08:43:42 PM
Nuclear engineer
cdn.thegrindstone.com
 
2013-01-21 08:49:47 PM
SpiderQueenDemon
All professions can be explained in terms of 'Star Trek.'

This may be a little forward, but: marry me.

And Human Resources are all Borg. No exceptions.

Marry me and have my babies.

/Trill joined to a Klingon with a bit of Data thrown in
 
2013-01-21 08:56:06 PM

Nogale: I'm sure there are many engineers who are also loving, functional people. However, every guy I've ever been on a date with who was a complete social retard - as in unable to hold up his end of a conversation - was an engineer of some type. YMMV


Want to go out with a social retard with a music degree? :-D
 
2013-01-21 09:05:28 PM

SpiderQueenDemon: Doctors come in three flavors, Dr. Crusher, Dr. McCoy and Dr. Bashir. Bashirs are a little arrogant, Crushers have the best bedside manner, and McCoys typically wind up being the surgeons.


Gotta say, you're missing one that actually shows up in practice:
"Please state the nature of your illness"
"I have a headache"
"Take 2 of these" *vanishes into thin air*
 
2013-01-21 09:11:40 PM
Guilty as charged.
 
2013-01-21 09:15:42 PM
It's the job/bosses that makes you cold and dead inside.
 
2013-01-21 09:28:59 PM
For a moment this article made me feel good.
It was nice to know that there is a reason for cold emptiness in my heart.

Than the emotion starved, withered and died.

I returned to my tasks, and everything was as it had been.

/mechanical engineer
 
2013-01-21 09:31:18 PM
Chiming in to defend engineers. I work, and sort of backup, a ton of engineers and the device we build helps blind people see. I can tell that most of them work at my company because of the product (they ain't there for the money). It is kind of weird, though, that the engineers who seem the most "normal" either eventually leave and pursue completely different careers or they're young and stay to support their new families.

Another thing about them, they don't laugh at my good jokes. You can show them shiat your grandmother forwarded you, or some old cliche from a sitcom, and they'll laugh their nerdy asses off. Give them an Arrested Development joke, or something that's absurdist, and it's like you're talking some alien language.
 
2013-01-21 09:32:01 PM

Smeggy Smurf: As an architect I'd like to say engineers are always farking up our designs. Oh sure, NOW you want to put a column there.


Look, you idiots designed a hospital with no conduits for fiberline data, sterile O2/N2, potable water, or sewage. The column is the least offensive fix for that. If you had actually discussed what was going to be needed in the building with any of the medical staff (hired since after Rome fell) beforehand, the engineers wouldn't be trying to retrofit with a kludge like this.

LordBollocks: /The Computer Science graduate asks "You want it done by when ???"


Heh. I've actually had almost that exact line for the sig on my email since I was hired on my current job.
 
2013-01-21 09:44:23 PM
Industrial engineer here... Wife??? RN.. Trust me, this article is completely 180 degrees the other direction. We prove the theory over, and over, and over, and over...so on and so forth
 
2013-01-21 10:04:35 PM
Hubby and I are both engineers (Civil and Mechanical).

During our scheduled sexual encounters, there is a collapse of space-time with a gravitational field so intense that emotion traveling less than the speed of light is unable to escape.

I imagine other humans feel this so called "empathy" for our emotionally starved offspring.
 
2013-01-21 10:21:55 PM
Hey, somebody has to spend their days and nights designing more efficient ball-bearings while I'm having sex.
 
2013-01-21 10:23:12 PM
My husband has his BS in computer engineering & his Master's in EE so I really got a kick out of forwarding this article to him.
 
2013-01-21 10:24:53 PM

Smeggy Smurf: We're using Revit



You're my new favorite Farker.
 
2013-01-21 10:30:29 PM
"A study carried out by psychology researchers in Sweden has shown that people who go into engineering are less caring and empathetic than those who enter professions such as medicine."

Where does that leave a medical device engineer?
 
2013-01-21 10:44:38 PM
I assume that this is some kind of satire, given the source and content, but I've got to say, this recent trend where some groups categorically declare others as unthinking and/or unfeeling is unsettling. Thought and emotion are essential human characteristics: are accusations like this not tantamount to dehumanization? As a society we've not yet gone into full-on memetic-cleansing mode, but I'm not sure jokes about this sort of thing are funny anymore.
 
2013-01-21 10:45:59 PM
Not that I put much merit on the result of 200 surveys, but I wonder how much those results would change if taken on people in their careers rather than college students.

/Wild speculation: engineers tend to be late bloomers.
 
2013-01-21 10:53:39 PM

WhippingBoy: two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?

No farking way.


See now, I'm a TV Engineer. Although I have an EE, I don't use much of it in this job. Just knowing how to pick up *any* manual, BS my way through it enough to design/order/build/operate/train almost anything @ a TV station may not make me a IEEE Engineer, but it damn well makes me a Broadcast Engineer.

\very few people that can debug a transmitter @ 3am while the GM whines over your shoulder
\\and wire the whole place for HD, and keep those plans straight in your head
 
2013-01-21 10:55:15 PM
Ive done so much....

Worked at a chicken processing plant. Learned Chickens are dumb, and you wont get paid enough for some things.
Worked as a office manager. Learned people suck
Worked as a sales manager. Learned people are gullible, and I can be evil.
Worked as QA on a nuclear waste containment system. Learned people lie.
Worked as a software engineer for decades...learned that Computers dont lie, and they love me.
Worked as a QA for software engineers. Learned that software engineers are idiots.

I dont know whether to be dead inside or loving. Its a mixture depending on the topic.

Currently doing server firmware automated validation, kind of a cross between a software engineer and a QA.
 
2013-01-21 11:16:58 PM
A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the market specialized in brains.
Upon further inspection he noticed a marked disparity between the costs of brain meats. Engineer's brains sell for $1.50 per pound. He noticed with alarm that architect's brains sells for $10 a pound. With not a little curiosity he asked the owner why the huge difference in price between the similar meats.
The owner responded with a deadpan look on his face, "Do you realize how many architects it takes to get a pound of brains?"
 
2013-01-22 12:15:14 AM

Greywar: Ive done so much....

Worked at a chicken processing plant. Learned Chickens are dumb, and you wont get paid enough for some things.
Worked as a office manager. Learned people suck
Worked as a sales manager. Learned people are gullible, and I can be evil.
Worked as QA on a nuclear waste containment system. Learned people lie.
Worked as a software engineer for decades...learned that Computers dont lie, and they love me.
Worked as a QA for software engineers. Learned that software engineers are idiots.

I dont know whether to be dead inside or loving. Its a mixture depending on the topic.

Currently doing server firmware automated validation, kind of a cross between a software engineer and a QA.


I currently manage a lab for QA and Dev engineers and learned that both are idiots.
Not fair...actually, MOST are idiots. Some are geniuses.
 
2013-01-22 12:56:57 AM

WhippingBoy: Pointy Tail of Satan: Funny but true in my case. Someone talking about "the weather" or their visit to the store is like nails on a chalkboard to me. And good luck finding a babe who wants to talk about neutron flux density or Wigner energy.

Crap. Me too. My wife will blather on about her day and all the utterly insignificant things that happened to her and how they made her feel. I have to sit there nodding my head like an idiot and pretend to care; beneath the surface, I'm screaming in pain and slowly dying from the soul-crushing mediocrity.


I've gotten identical complaints from my mother and husband : "Why do you only want to talk about news and information? Why don't you want to talk about Real Life?" I'm still puzzled as to what that means but so far I have a theory conversations about Real Life concern gossip about people we may know, what happened with celebrities, food that has been recently eaten and food that will soon be eaten, what is on sale at the grocery store, endless rambling about relatives, and feelings. Also, sudden rants about things I hate and childish glee at news items about asteroids or archaeology finds are not considered talking about my feelings.
 
2013-01-22 01:23:00 AM
I've got a very good idea on how this study was done.

What they likely did was frame the questions such that a more rational person would have an answer that the researchers could spin as uncaring.

The questions can easily be set up such that they benefit medical careers and hurt others. For instance, government providing free medical care for the poor. This takes away what would be charity work for medical professions and makes it income producing work or at least covers costs. For everyone else, they have to pay for it. The rational thinking person, like an engineer who has to deal with costs and production and so forth knows that government payment didn't come out of ether, but instead means others have to do with less. Usually middle class people who have their own bills to deal with.

Another way is to make the questions such that more rational people can see the harm done, not just the obvious good deed. What Bastiat called the 'unseen'. The question is then scored based on the obvious good deed, not the harm done. For instance, something like cash for clunkers. The rational person sees what it does to the used car market down the road, hurting people of lower incomes. The obvious good deed is making new cars more affordable to people who otherwise might not be able to afford one.

Researchers like this, besides trolling likely simply don't understand the thought processes that engineering people use. The entire evaluation is tainted by their own ideas of what is caring. What they 'feel' is caring. They likely fail themselves to be able to see what is caring from another person's point of view.

Ultimately I find the medical profession's 'caring' to be really shallow. It's really a nasty money making machine that functions on manipulating people by creating the perception of caring while keeping them just sick enough to drain as much money out as they can.


Ima4nic8or: Where does that leave a medical device engineer?


Exactly. A lot of caring people in that line of work. (Did it for a few years myself)
 
2013-01-22 01:53:22 AM

SultanofSchwing: WhippingBoy: two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?

No farking way.

Why not? What part of their job precludes them from referring to themselves as an engineer? You don't have to have a P.Eng or a license to be called an Engineer in the strictest sense of the word.


Actually you do, in some states.
 
2013-01-22 02:17:09 AM

two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?


Let me give you an cold, empty engineering response-- possibly with poor spelling and grammar:

In the US when you graduate with an engineering degree from an accredited program, a potential employer or other interested party knows that you have been exposed to the engineering fundamentals associated with your specific degree. Those fundamentals are set by ABET and include topics like thermodynamics, fluid mechanics, material science, heat transfer, dynamics, mechanical design, mechanics of materials, etc. (For mechanical engineering.) This is in addition to core classes common to most engineering degrees: mathematics, physics, chemistry, various social sciences and humanities.

Personally I don't care who gets called an engineer, except that it add to the noise when looking for new contracts.

Oh yeah: I save the love, warmth and compassion for those who deserve it.

/Engineer
 
2013-01-22 03:40:34 AM
There's getting revenge on your ex, and then there's getting revenge on your ex.

Nice job, "Lewis Page" of the Register.
 
2013-01-22 05:47:58 AM

SultanofSchwing: I know I shiat on old people before, but one of the most upsetting things for me at present is fresh graduates having next to no computer related skills save for how to use Facebook. They can't setup documents properly or even use excel or outlook...then look to me to fix their problems for them because I'm the "computer guy." Which is fun because while I may be the Admin, I have a degree (and a 2 year diploma) as well as the typical certs, none of that ever included a class on Office, or how to make a goddamn pivot table...I don't even know what a pivot table is, leave me alone. You can't figure out how to justify a page? Google it. Call me when it won't connect to the domain.

Excel and the accounting department is my answer to these inquiries.
This is also why I avoid telling people what I do, I don't like it when the neighbors ask if I can help them out with a little problem on their pc.
 
2013-01-22 06:43:57 AM

two towns over: My job is a gaffer. A lighting guy, designer yes. The word is old english, anyway: some of my collegues say they are the "Chief Lighting Engineer" in their credits instead of gaffer. My question: are they right to claim engineer status?


Maybe. Technical Design points to engineer.
 
2013-01-22 08:13:43 AM
I blame the end users, management, sales (internal and external), inept co-workers (the good ones I love to death), and logistics too (always farking up my equipment orders.) In fact, if it wasn't for other people, my job would be perfect.
 
2013-01-22 08:31:54 AM
Medical people are caring? Nurses, maybe, but doctor is a perfect profession to go into if you never want to deal with other people as actual human beings again. Surgeons are especially bad at relating to other people.
 
2013-01-22 08:32:06 AM

FloydA: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Finance major - Braindead inside

Advanced Degrees - what they really mean
MA: Malicious Asshole
Ph.D: Piled High and Deep
MD: Mentally Defective
MBA: Minimal Brain Activity.


BS: Bull Shiat
MS: More Shiat

Smeggy Smurf: As an architect I'd like to say engineers are always farking up our designs. Oh sure, NOW you want to put a column there.


crossfitlisbeth.com

allow me to retort

Shouting into the wind: Optimist = The glass is half full
Pessimist = The glass is half empty
Engineer = The glass is too big was obviously designed by an Architect


/and the project was managed by a landscape architect

but of course when the poop hits the fan guess who gets the blame?

go do something useful like play in traffic or drive on a bridge designed by an architect... :3

*harumph*
 
2013-01-22 08:57:21 AM

Satan's Dumptruck Driver: Let me give you an cold, empty engineering response-- possibly with poor spelling and grammar:

In the US when you graduate with an engineering degree from an accredited program, a potential employer or other interested party knows that you have been exposed to the engineering fundamentals associated with your specific degree. Those fundamentals are set by ABET and include topics like thermodynamics, fluid mechanics, material science, heat transfer, dynamics, mechanical design, mechanics of materials, etc. (For mechanical engineering.) This is in addition to core classes common to most engineering degrees: mathematics, physics, chemistry, various social sciences and humanities.


not cold and empty enough:

1. if you can take this:

chrisgammell.com

you get to call yourself an "engineer" (mostly around laymen), and your opinion at least matters among real engineers

if you pass it, then you get to be called an "assistant" engineer

if you pass the appropriate PE exam for your discipline and have one of these:

theprofessionalengineer.com

then you are an Engineer. also known as the HNIC.
 
2013-01-22 09:05:03 AM

I drunk what: 1. if you can take this:

http://chrisgammell.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/FE_EIT.jpg

you get to call yourself an "engineer" (mostly around laymen), and your opinion at least matters among real engineers


Ugh. I had nearly forgotten about that. Thanks for bringing it back to the forefront of my memory, jackass.
 
2013-01-22 09:18:46 AM

SultanofSchwing: Besides, I think the real definition of an engineer is someone who is excited to get a screwdriver set for Christmas.


Bullshiat.

I'm an instrumentation technician and jack of all many trades. I'm excited to get tools for christmas. I've worked with many engineers in different places. None of them are any good with their hands. I've seen things like trying to fit the threads of a compression fitting into a NPT coupling and wondering why it wasn't sealing to having one argue with me about the direction that [directional teeth] [channel lock type pliers] are supposed to turn. Where I work now, watching an engineer try to use hand tools is a joke.

But everyone has to start somewhere, right? Sure. But the problem is that they also don't like to listen to anyone. They get laser like, tunnel vision, forest for the trees, focus and no one can tell them that they're on the wrong track or just plain wrong. I do instrument, maintenance, and installation work for the research side of a chemical plant. They comes to us, give us a new piece of equipment and want use to make it work with X existing equipment. But they wont take our advice when things start to go wrong. It seems like arrogance, but it's hard to tell. They get goofy ideas about how to fix something and wont take the advice from seasoned tradesmen. They also don't consult us before getting most of their new things to try out so making everything place nice together can be a real headache. Oh, and they need this headache solved asap because they're on a schedule.

Working with them gets frustrating. They're all nice people in general, but they have awful interpersonal skills at times and really don't seem to like to take outside advice.

/My ex's father was an electrician. He used to give me tools every christmas.
//Including a screwdriver set one year.
///It was awesome.
 
2013-01-22 09:30:12 AM

sxacho: Thanks for bringing it back to the forefront of my memory, jackass.


there's an engineer^

quit crying you didn't need that much hair on your head anyway

now you can save money on shampoo :D
 
2013-01-22 10:11:32 AM
That is what made working in the oilfield as an engineer great.

/Chemical Engineer
 
2013-01-22 10:44:58 AM
So THATS why the Soviets periodically sent all their engineers to the gulag.
 
2013-01-22 11:41:44 AM

catusr: mechanical engineer - 63.2% dead inside


Where can I buy this on a Tshirt?
 
2013-01-22 12:07:26 PM

BGates: That is what made working in the oilfield as an engineer great.

/Chemical Engineer


Damn skippy! High five!
 
2013-01-22 12:47:05 PM

MonoChango: catusr: mechanical engineer - 63.2% dead inside

Where can I buy this on a Tshirt?


A better question is why can't you just make one yourself with things you have lying around in your work area.
 
2013-01-22 01:11:46 PM

ProfessorOhki: MonoChango: catusr: mechanical engineer - 63.2% dead inside

Where can I buy this on a Tshirt?

A better question is why can't you just make one yourself with things you have lying around in your work area.


users.content.ytmnd.com
 
2013-01-22 01:38:04 PM

I drunk what: 1. if you can take this:

chrisgammell.com

you get to call yourself an "engineer" (mostly around laymen), and your opinion at least matters among real engineers

if you pass it, then you get to be called an "assistant" engineer



Hooray!
 
2013-01-22 03:25:06 PM

BigNumber12: Architectural Engineer, and I only love my wife and daughter. Everyone else will make nice lubricant for the gears of my machines of war someday.


computer architecture or like building or whatever?
 
2013-01-22 03:32:15 PM
Yay, an engineer thread... Dammit, I am late again...

EE/CpE moonlighting (again) as a SWE... Hey, it pays more.
 
2013-01-22 04:51:29 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: BigNumber12: Architectural Engineer, and I only love my wife and daughter. Everyone else will make nice lubricant for the gears of my machines of war someday.

computer architecture or like building or whatever?


Similar to Civil Engineering, but focusing on occupiable structures. Skyscrapers, offices, labs, light and mid-range industry and manufacturing, tech, school / university, corporate campus, performing arts, retail (subset), high-density residential, that sort of thing.

Similar focus in structural issues, significantly increased focus on enclosure, interior finishes, and building systems (mechanical, electrical, plumbing). Increased focus on budget / payback period of design features, and building aesthetics.
 
2013-01-22 05:16:01 PM

BigNumber12: Uchiha_Cycliste: BigNumber12: Architectural Engineer, and I only love my wife and daughter. Everyone else will make nice lubricant for the gears of my machines of war someday.

computer architecture or like building or whatever?

Similar to Civil Engineering, but focusing on occupiable structures. Skyscrapers, offices, labs, light and mid-range industry and manufacturing, tech, school / university, corporate campus, performing arts, retail (subset), high-density residential, that sort of thing.

Similar focus in structural issues, significantly increased focus on enclosure, interior finishes, and building systems (mechanical, electrical, plumbing). Increased focus on budget / payback period of design features, and building aesthetics.


I did not know there was an architectural engineering. I just knew of architecture, and computer architecture (much more intimately)
 
2013-01-22 05:17:38 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: computer architecture or like building or whatever?


see what happens when people play humpty dumpty?

poatemisepare.ro

BigNumber12: Similar to Civil Engineering


in this country Structural Engineering is a branch of Civil it's not a similarity it IS civil

architects are not engineers, they are not structural engineers they are not sanitation engineers they are not locomotive engineers they are non-engineering staff that convinces the owner that they are making the building look pretty

Civil (Structural) Engineers are the people responsible for making sure that the building does not kill you. Regardless of how pretty it looks.
 
2013-01-22 05:24:58 PM
Now I understand my confusion. I reckon he would say he needs a PE for architectural engineering?
 
2013-01-22 05:27:56 PM

I drunk what: see what happens when people play humpty dumpty?


I have this vague feeling you and I have met before here. Yup, yup I do.
 
2013-01-22 05:37:26 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: I did not know there was an architectural engineering. I just knew of architecture, and computer architecture (much more intimately)


It's less popular than Civil, and there are far fewer accredited programs.


I drunk what: in this country Structural Engineering is a branch of Civil it's not a similarity it IS civil

architects are not engineers, they are not structural engineers they are not sanitation engineers they are not locomotive engineers they are non-engineering staff that convinces the owner that they are making the building look pretty

Civil (Structural) Engineers are the people responsible for making sure that the building does not kill you. Regardless of how pretty it looks.


You should do more research before you post, or stick to subjects that you understand. I'll give you a pass this time because you love Idiocracy so much.

Architectural Engineering is similar to Civil Engineering, but focuses on different types of structures. Both require knowledge of (and specialists in) structural engineering (note lower case) so that said structures don't fall down.

Nobody's talking about architects.
 
2013-01-22 05:41:35 PM
www.quotesworthrepeating.com
sigh =( ok.
 
2013-01-22 05:42:15 PM
on a more serious note, do you guys need a PE to practice too?
 
2013-01-22 05:53:25 PM
Hmmm, I wonder if this explains why all of my fellow engineers seem to disproportionately marry teachers and nurses. Opposites attract.... though this may be a selection bias because all of the local engineering schools seem to also contain good medical or teaching schools... or my area only has two main industries manufacturing and medicine.

/mechanical engineer married to a chef
 
2013-01-22 06:03:41 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: on a more serious note, do you guys need a PE to practice too?


I'll confess, I didn't even know about it until this thread, but I am curious now. Guess it'd be the FE I'd have to research first. Still be interested in 'em though; specifically CompE and SWE.

Saiga410: Hmmm, I wonder if this explains why all of my fellow engineers seem to disproportionately marry teachers and nurses. Opposites attract.... though this may be a selection bias because all of the local engineering schools seem to also contain good medical or teaching schools... or my area only has two main industries manufacturing and medicine.


My school was engineering/agriculture. That made for some hilarious couples:
"What'd you do today?"
"Oh, just more circuits labs, you?"
"Well, first they gave us these gloves that go up the shoulder..."
 
2013-01-22 06:09:31 PM

ProfessorOhki: I'll confess, I didn't even know about it until this thread, but I am curious now. Guess it'd be the FE I'd have to research first. Still be interested in 'em though; specifically CompE and SWE.


There is an EE FE but no SWe or CS AFAIK.

\god that's an ugly sentence.
 
2013-01-22 06:11:29 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: ProfessorOhki: I'll confess, I didn't even know about it until this thread, but I am curious now. Guess it'd be the FE I'd have to research first. Still be interested in 'em though; specifically CompE and SWE.

There is an EE FE but no SWe or CS AFAIK.

\god that's an ugly sentence.


Yeah, I'm used to all my acronyms being three letters long ;)
I meant the CompE and SWE PEs. Just because I couldn't outright take 'em immediately doesn't mean I wouldn't learn something from practice.
 
2013-01-22 06:14:51 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: on a more serious note, do you guys need a PE to practice too?


If you're going to work in a design capacity, then yes. I'm in CM, in which case, having your PE is something of a liability.
 
2013-01-22 06:17:34 PM

ProfessorOhki: Uchiha_Cycliste: ProfessorOhki: I'll confess, I didn't even know about it until this thread, but I am curious now. Guess it'd be the FE I'd have to research first. Still be interested in 'em though; specifically CompE and SWE.

There is an EE FE but no SWe or CS AFAIK.

\god that's an ugly sentence.

Yeah, I'm used to all my acronyms being three letters long ;)
I meant the CompE and SWE PEs. Just because I couldn't outright take 'em immediately doesn't mean I wouldn't learn something from practice.


Uchiha_Cycliste: I think I misunderstood you. I thought you were literally looking for people to practice for a PE with, rather than asking them BigNumber if AE/CE needed one to practice their work. My bad.
 
2013-01-22 06:26:22 PM

ProfessorOhki: Uchiha_Cycliste: I think I misunderstood you. I thought you were literally looking for people to practice for a PE with, rather than asking them BigNumber if AE/CE needed one to practice their work. My bad.


aye. It's all good.
 
2013-01-22 06:27:13 PM

BigNumber12: Uchiha_Cycliste: on a more serious note, do you guys need a PE to practice too?

If you're going to work in a design capacity, then yes. I'm in CM, in which case, having your PE is something of a liability.


I've always understood it to be further and sometimes requisite accrediting, how could it be a liability?
 
2013-01-22 06:37:22 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste: BigNumber12: Uchiha_Cycliste: on a more serious note, do you guys need a PE to practice too?

If you're going to work in a design capacity, then yes. I'm in CM, in which case, having your PE is something of a liability.

I've always understood it to be further and sometimes requisite accrediting, how could it be a liability?


It depends on who you ask, and I don't know of any court cases that back up the fears, but some believe that a construction Project Engineer (different than a "Professional Engineer") stamping shop drawings as "Reviewed by So-and-So, P.E." would shift some of the design liability onto the General Contractor.
 
2013-01-22 07:21:00 PM

BigNumber12: You should do more research before you post, or stick to subjects that you understand. I'll give you a pass this time because you love Idiocracy so much.


i was afraid to look, but yep:

Agricultural
Architectural
Chemical
Civil: Construction (with design standards for 2013)
Civil: Geotechnical
Civil: Structural (with design standards for 2013)
Civil: Transportation (with design standards for 2013)
Civil: Water Resources and Environmental
Control Systems
Electrical and Computer: Computer Engineering
Electrical and Computer: Electrical and Electronics
Electrical and Computer: Power
Environmental
Fire Protection
Industrial (specifications for April 2013 exam) Beginning in 2013, the PE Industrial exam will be given in the spring. October 2012 was the last fall administration for the exam. See the news release for more information.
Mechanical: HVAC and Refrigeration
Mechanical: Mechanical Systems and Materials
Mechanical: Thermal and Fluids Systems
Metallurgical and Materials
Mining and Mineral Processing
Naval Architecture and Marine
Nuclear
Petroleum
Software (specifications for April 2013 exam) Administration of this new exam will begin in April 2013. See the news release for more information.
Structural

you are correct, and look here kids Software made the list :D, wrong again IDW code monkies ARE engineers LULZ

next on the docket:

Sanitation
Locomotive
Landscape
Brawndo
OwMyBalls

LOLZ lulz lulz lulz

i like money
 
2013-01-22 07:27:01 PM

I drunk what: Agricultural
Architectural
Chemical
Civil: Construction (with design standards for 2013)
Civil: Geotechnical
Civil: Structural (with design standards for 2013)
Civil: Transportation (with design standards for 2013)
Civil: Water Resources and Environmental
Control Systems
Electrical and Computer: Computer Engineering
Electrical and Computer: Electrical and Electronics
Electrical and Computer: Power
Environmental
Fire Protection
Industrial (specifications for April 2013 exam) Beginning in 2013, the PE Industrial exam will be given in the spring. October 2012 was the last fall administration for the exam. See the news release for more information.
Mechanical: HVAC and Refrigeration
Mechanical: Mechanical Systems and Materials
Mechanical: Thermal and Fluids Systems
Metallurgical and Materials
Mining and Mineral Processing
Naval Architecture and Marine
Nuclear
Petroleum
Software (specifications for April 2013 exam) Administration of this new exam will begin in April 2013. See the news release for more information.
Structural


they even have structural on there twice! :D rofl rofl rofl

three times if you count architectural :o

i'm bored with this, lets talk about nature instead, is it natural?
 
2013-01-22 07:33:37 PM

I drunk what: they even have structural on there twice! :D rofl rofl rofl

three times if you count architectural :o

i'm bored with this, lets talk about nature instead, is it natural?


The civil PE exam has about an 89% pass rate vs about 23% for the Structural I exam. Are you really trying to say that they're essentially the same?
 
2013-01-22 07:36:31 PM
Pop Quiz:

Which one of these is a Sanitation Engineer?

A
ktothec.files.wordpress.com

B
static.guim.co.uk

C
farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2013-01-22 07:44:14 PM

sxacho: The civil PE exam has about an 89% pass rate vs about 23% for the Structural I exam. Are you really trying to say that they're essentially the same?


does the piece of paper getting stamped know the difference? or care?

if you can't decide which one you like better, let the architectural stamp it

or if he's not around maybe a software can stamp it for ya?

maybe soon the art history major's can get a engineer's stamp too

i'm gunna start studying for the Philosophy Engineering PE exam, those stamps are going to be priceless
 
2013-01-22 07:47:11 PM

I drunk what: sxacho: The civil PE exam has about an 89% pass rate vs about 23% for the Structural I exam. Are you really trying to say that they're essentially the same?

does the piece of paper getting stamped know the difference? or care?

if you can't decide which one you like better, let the architectural stamp it

or if he's not around maybe a software can stamp it for ya?

maybe soon the art history major's can get a engineer's stamp too

i'm gunna start studying for the Philosophy Engineering PE exam, those stamps are going to be priceless



Go home I drunk what, you are drunk.
 
2013-01-22 07:53:58 PM

I drunk what: sxacho: The civil PE exam has about an 89% pass rate vs about 23% for the Structural I exam. Are you really trying to say that they're essentially the same?

does the piece of paper getting stamped know the difference? or care?

if you can't decide which one you like better, let the architectural stamp it

or if he's not around maybe a software can stamp it for ya?

maybe soon the art history major's can get a engineer's stamp too

i'm gunna start studying for the Philosophy Engineering PE exam, those stamps are going to be priceless


I graduated from an architectural engineering program. It was part of the civil engineering department. I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but if you are arguing that civil engineering is a blanket term which can include seemingly different areas of study (not all of which you seem to be familiar), then I'd agree with you.
 
2013-01-22 08:03:52 PM

sxacho: The civil PE exam has about an 89% pass rate vs about 23% for the Structural I exam.


actually Civil = 65%, and i couldn't find any data on structural for 2011-12, but it was 46% in 2010, but hey looks like architectural = 71% so i guess Big12 picked the right one after all :3

//unfortunately that wasn't a choice when i was in school :(

so i feel much better now, i guess those structural I's aren't as smart as they think they are :D

good jorb lad
 
2013-01-22 08:05:51 PM

sxacho: I graduated from an architectural engineering program.


you chose wisely
 
2013-01-22 08:28:48 PM

BigNumber12: I drunk what: sxacho: The civil PE exam has about an 89% pass rate vs about 23% for the Structural I exam. Are you really trying to say that they're essentially the same?

does the piece of paper getting stamped know the difference? or care?

if you can't decide which one you like better, let the architectural stamp it

or if he's not around maybe a software can stamp it for ya?

maybe soon the art history major's can get a engineer's stamp too

i'm gunna start studying for the Philosophy Engineering PE exam, those stamps are going to be priceless


Go home I drunk what, you are drunk.


lulz
 
2013-01-22 08:31:37 PM

I drunk what: unfortunately that wasn't a choice when i was in school :(


Funny, you don't strike me as being very old. Rather, I think what you're saying is that the discipline wasn't offered at your school.

I drunk what: sxacho: I graduated from an architectural engineering program.

you chose wisely


I did. Knowing I want to do structural designs of buildings, it was a natural choice and I'm glad I made it.
 
2013-01-22 09:27:52 PM

sxacho: Knowing I want to do structural designs of buildings


There is something wrong with you.

\basically failed my Steel Design final exam
 
2013-01-22 09:48:27 PM

BigNumber12: sxacho: Knowing I want to do structural designs of buildings

There is something wrong with you.

\basically failed my Steel Design final exam


My prof for Steel I & II knew his shiat & helped write significant portions of the AISC design manual. He was good and that helped a lot. My geotech prof, on the other hand, not very cool. I aced most exams, the labs, and the final, but I didn't do enough bullshiat homework and I failed the class. So I had to take the same class again, with the same professor being my only available choice. Luckily I didn't have to re-do all the lab work.
 
2013-01-22 11:21:48 PM

I drunk what: Pop Quiz:

Which one of these is a Sanitation Engineer?

A
[ktothec.files.wordpress.com image 400x533]

B
[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]

C
[farm5.staticflickr.com image 159x240]


I don't know, but it's not B. He's standing in a giant tube, so I assume he's an Internet Engineer.
 
2013-01-22 11:53:23 PM
Also with respect to the headline, I present myself as a counter example. Most who know me (and even a handful of total farkers who normally don't leave the LP thread) would label me as a hopeless romantic. My girlfriend especially would ♥. She, OTOH, is an eye doctor and is much, much more grounded than I am. That's not to say she's dead inside or emotionless, but she's not silly the way I am. Fortunately we've known each other for so long (and despite that she loves me anyways) that she knows how I normally act and I can be my silly hopelessly romantic self around her (at her I suppose). So we are a doctor and engineer but the emotion levels are reversed from what TFA's headline and many posters in this thread have said. Finally, I gotta say it's fantastic to be able to be myself around my girlfriend and not to have to dial it down or change the way I act at all. It's so rare that being myself is OK and I love my girlfriend ever so much more because she can just be her and I can just be me and we get along so well.

\It's so cool to be frantically and hopelessly in love with my best friend.
\\Been best friends since we were 6. =D <3
 
2013-01-23 08:26:04 AM

sxacho: I did. Knowing I want to do structural designs of buildings, it was a natural choice and I'm glad I made it.


well i did some quick research and was able to calm myself down, it looks like you guys are actually engineers (academically speaking) though it certainly is a bit confusing adding that title into the mix which already has Structural Engineers :\ but i'll get over it

though i'm still going to say i don't agree with adding software code monkies to the engineering club

and i'm still very curious how they are even able to qualify to take the FE exam?!

ProfessorOhki: I don't know, but it's not B.


the answer is always C

/soon
 
2013-01-23 09:27:08 AM

sxacho: I think what you're saying is that the discipline wasn't offered at your school


that's a bingo

we call it Civil - Structural in our neck of the woods

and it would be nice if we all used the same terms to avoid future confusion...
 
2013-01-23 09:33:57 AM

BigNumber12: Architectural Engineering is similar to Civil Engineering, but focuses on different types of structures. Both require knowledge of (and specialists in) structural engineering (note lower case) so that said structures don't fall down.

Nobody's talking about architects


a thousand pardons, but you must understand what my initial concern was

i was afraid that somehow arch.s slipped through the cracks and were somehow getting engr. licenses, but it was just my paranoia, and constantly fearing that we've already begun the downward spiral into idiocracy

not joking

please disregard my derp in this thread

as you were
 
2013-01-23 11:00:00 AM

Private_Citizen: Mechanical engineer here - Two loving children and coming up on 17 wonderful years of marriage. We (wife and I) also have an active social life (blessed with good friends).

Even my other engineering friends are pretty sociable people. Meh - maybe the researcher sampled a bad batch?


Bad subject group too. Typical college-age students aren't yet fully human.
 
2013-01-23 12:10:05 PM

I drunk what: we call it Civil - Structural in our neck of the woods

and it would be nice if we all used the same terms to avoid future confusion...


But it's a different thing. In school, I didn't learn DOT bridge design, I didn't learn stormwater design or runoff or anything like that. No sidewalks, no roads, no sewer systems, do you get it now? It's a sub-category of civil engineering, yes. But it's not the same thing. It's about buildings and as such, it has a much tighter focus in it's discipline. It's about structural building systems and materials, it's about plumbing, HVAC, electrical systems in buildings. It's about cost estimation of buildings. It's about how to design and build buildings. It's about learning how to use the codes that govern the design of buildings.

True enough that I had to teach myself most of the other stuff, like the DOT bridge and road stuff, to pass the structural PE exam, but I don't use it, ever. And I don't intend to, as I design buildings.
 
2013-01-23 01:18:06 PM

sxacho: do you get it now?


yep

a bit too much mish mash for my taste, not to mention a bit of (unnecessary confusing) redundancy, though i suppose it could be worse

for now i'll just get over it

so did you take the arch. PE exam as well?
 
2013-01-23 02:16:32 PM

I drunk what: so did you take the arch. PE exam as well?


Nope. Structural I.
 
2013-01-23 04:12:29 PM

sxacho: Nope. Structural I.


well at least this way you have a plan B just in case the buildings market goes in the tank

one of the reasons i chose civil was to remain flexible :)

cheers
 
2013-01-23 05:54:37 PM

I drunk what: well at least this way you have a plan B just in case the buildings market goes in the tank


Pessimist. That'll never happen.

/got a new project today. A carport addition. Weeee!
 
Displayed 360 of 360 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report