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(The Register)   "'Engineers are cold and dead inside,' research shows, 'Unable to care or love'" In other news, trolling for web-hits is easy   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 360
    More: Obvious, surveying, School of Engineering, computer engineering, trolls  
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11390 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2013 at 3:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-21 04:07:54 PM  

oldfarthenry: littlett's: They just need somebody to love them.

Well and have sex with them.

Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.


*PHEW* God, I thought I was the only one who had that problem with their wife.
 
2013-01-21 04:08:13 PM  

littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P


She probably prefers an abacus
 
2013-01-21 04:08:19 PM  

littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P


A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.
 
2013-01-21 04:08:20 PM  
I'm not sure that I understand some of these responses, isn't being cold and dead on the inside a good thing? I work hard day in and day out to find new and innovative ways to kill people wouldn't a soul or ethics just get in the way?

/ME 25 years defense and aerospace
 
2013-01-21 04:08:25 PM  
Fine. Go drive over a tall bridge designed by an insurance salesman.

/ not an engineer. Sympathize with their lack of ability for small talk
 
2013-01-21 04:09:53 PM  

Nurglitch: SpectroBoy: Egoy3k: Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
.

The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.

A little confusion about means and averages maybe?


In a true normal distribution, mean, median, mode are the same.
 
2013-01-21 04:09:58 PM  
is this the thread where we remind code monkeys that they are not engineers?

also this just in, janitors are also not engineers

only reason i feel dead inside is because of this retarded site
 
2013-01-21 04:10:08 PM  

oldfarthenry: A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.


Shouldn't you be able to have a general estimate though based on values determined by previous experience?
 
2013-01-21 04:10:46 PM  

slapmastered: *PHEW* God, I thought I was the only one who had that problem with their wife.


No, I also have a problem with your wife. WTF is up with her reluctance to do anal?
 
2013-01-21 04:10:50 PM  

FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: FormlessOne: Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.

A bright guy would've figured out that I'm a developer and tech writer, what with the compliments to both of those categories. But, then again, a bright guy wouldn't have taken personally what just about everyone else in the thread took as a gentle bit of humor.

I take it you're an IT admin, right?

He's not the standard! I'm an IT Admin, but I started out in Electrical Engineering...

No worries, I figured he's not the standard, as I work with all of those folks on a regular basis and, as a bright guy, realize that "single data point != mean." But, he does seem a bit... touchy.

I'm with you, more or less. I spent the first couple of years as a hardware admin (back in the day of DisplayWriters and running coax every-friggin'-where), the next decade or so as a developer, and the last decade or so as a programmer/writer. I've also done everything from handing out DoD components for clean-room assembly, to muck out bathrooms as a third-shift porter, to ride a keyboard in a typing pool for PriceWaterhouse (before they became PriceWaterhouseCoopersSomethingOrOther.) I've worked in warehouses, in boardrooms, and on farms. These days, I work mostly at home, thanks to a great employer and a dev team that (more or less) knows how to design & implem ...


I think a lot of "fresher" admins get frustrated with people and it has a damaging effect on their personality. I know I used to get frustrated watching the 60-something office assistant scrolling a website by clicking the down arrow over and over. Now I just go to my happy place.
 
2013-01-21 04:11:10 PM  
LOL you guys are funny.

So, Formless One, what everyone else took from my " /I keed, I keed" which I put there in emulation of your post because I thought it was funny, was just, what do you say, a little meta-humour? Ah? haha? You're too sensitive. I posted what I posted because I thought it was funny as sh*t. Convoluted, engineer-type humour, you know. By the way, I started as an electrical engineer, was a software developer for another 15 years, and I'm now in management. I consider IT admins to be semi-sociopathic but at least rational. They're nothing next to QA and HR people - those are the true, dyed-in-the-hate Hitlerian sickos. Izhn't dat veird?

images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-01-21 04:11:19 PM  

hitlersbrain: cgraves67: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.

The kinky hookers with all the toys are crazy expensive.


Remember, they're medical students. They're still wildly optimistic, positive about the impact they're going to have on the lives of others and on the world in general. Give them a few years. Once they're stuck between the Scylla of insurance and the Charybdis of business, trying to figure out how to navigate that oh-so-narrow path that gets a patient to health, and resigning themselves to the reality of feeding people to either of those monsters more often than not, well, they learn to maintain a healthy emotional distance from anything human.

Once that happens, then, yeah, it's time to pay to play, so they don't have to care about what happens after. Grim.
 
2013-01-21 04:11:57 PM  

I drunk what: is this the thread where we remind code monkeys that they are not engineers?


Yes. Yes it is.

I like your moxie.
 
2013-01-21 04:12:44 PM  
Engineer - Check
Dead inside - Check
Cold, uncaring, lack of empathy - Check

/and if you couldn't tell I'm fiscally conservative in the non-political sense
 
2013-01-21 04:14:03 PM  

littlett's: oldfarthenry: A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.

Shouldn't you be able to have a general estimate though based on values determined by previous experience?


Lawyers hate the word "estimate" - especially when the plaintiff starts flashing those pictures of the tangled rubble.
 
2013-01-21 04:14:12 PM  

oldfarthenry: littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P

A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.


This is so true. I use three calculators from different manufacturers, then verify the results in Excel. Finally my intern confirms that both our eyes are reading the same numbers, before I commit to an answer. After that I round to the nearest round number, because you know... I'm an engineer, not a goddamn scientist.
 
2013-01-21 04:14:52 PM  

oldfarthenry: A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.


Yeah. This. Also, it's important to try to never memorize Building or Zoning Codes. Always look it up.
 
2013-01-21 04:15:26 PM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.


Since we have our lovely for profit medical system here in the States, I think the major motivating factor that many choose to become doctors is to get rich. Obviously, not ALL of them, but a pretty good chunk I would imagine. I've never had to receive any medical treatment outside of the US, so I can't speak for other countries.

Many US doctors could care less about alleviating suffering or curing illnesses. They just want $$$$$$$ and lots of it!

/YAY US healthcare!!!
 
2013-01-21 04:16:01 PM  

SultanofSchwing: I think a lot of "fresher" admins get frustrated with people and it has a damaging effect on their personality. I know I used to get frustrated watching the 60-something office assistant scrolling a website by clicking the down arrow over and over. Now I just go to my happy place.


Yep. Try the old days, when computers weren't ubiquitous, and you had to train administrative assistants to move from the old Selectric III to a DisplayWriter (or, worse yet, a terminal.) It was a fun job.

Technology changes apace, but people remain people. The problems differ, but the issues are the same.
 
2013-01-21 04:16:50 PM  

WhippingBoy: slapmastered: *PHEW* God, I thought I was the only one who had that problem with their wife.

No, I also have a problem with your wife. WTF is up with her reluctance to do anal?


I dunno. I've asked and begged and cajoled, but she just won't budge on that one. If you ever get her into it, I'll owe you a beer.
 
2013-01-21 04:16:55 PM  
I'd guess "socially maladroit" is more accurate.

Which makes them not all that different from most other people, except that the engineers don't care. Many seem to have a strictly utilitarian mindset, whereby conversations that do not impart useful information are seen as a waste of time. Which they usually are.
 
2013-01-21 04:17:47 PM  

rocketpants: oldfarthenry: littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P

A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.

This is so true. I use three calculators from different manufacturers, then verify the results in Excel. Finally my intern confirms that both our eyes are reading the same numbers, before I commit to an answer. After that I round to the nearest round number, because you know... I'm an engineer, not a goddamn scientist.


TRUST NOTHING

qph.cf.quoracdn.net

/hot
 
2013-01-21 04:18:02 PM  
The engineers at my work hate me. I'm always finding new ways to break their machines, and even though the skilled trades department can fix them, it drives the engineers nuts that they don't know how I did it in the first place.

/nothing else to add
 
2013-01-21 04:18:24 PM  
Here's a joke to add to the mix:

An engineer works in a factory, keeping the machines running. After many years, he retires. A few weeks later, one of the key machines breaks, and no one can figure out how to repair it. In desparation, they ask the retired engineer to consult. He comes in, takes a look, marks a part with chalk and tells the "replace that part and it'll work." They replace the part and all is well - until the engineer's bill arrives - for $50K!!

Outraged, the company asks for an invoice, so the engineer sends this:
$1 for chalk to mark with
$49,999 for knowing where to put the mark.
 
2013-01-21 04:19:08 PM  

FunkOut: Usually some creepy guy in an expensive office surrounded by female robot assistants with scary huge smiles.


I totally picked the wrong career path.
 
2013-01-21 04:19:51 PM  
There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.
 
2013-01-21 04:19:55 PM  

oldfarthenry: Lawyers hate the word "estimate" - especially when the plaintiff starts flashing those pictures of the tangled rubble.


The estimates only give you a place to start.  Once you see the problem, then you can determine an acceptable solution based on the application and the appropriate design factor.
 
2013-01-21 04:20:51 PM  

littlett's: oldfarthenry: A good engineer NEVER does math in his/her head. We don't even trust our own brains.

Shouldn't you be able to have a general estimate though based on values determined by previous experience?


That's only good for a first run guesstimate of necessary forces. You start there and fine tune it with actual calculations and/or prototyping. Or management says "close enough, we'll fix it later if we need to".

Which means you then cover your ass by making sure the potential problem was documented as well as outlining how to correct it, because the drawing have already been released by management and this way, 6 months down the road, you don't have to spend 2 weeks redoing previous work. This often requires unpaid overtime.

Wait, what were we talking about?
 
2013-01-21 04:21:11 PM  

Scruffinator: The engineers at my work hate me. I'm always finding new ways to break their machines, and even though the skilled trades department can fix them, it drives the engineers nuts that they don't know how I did it in the first place.

/nothing else to add


We hate people like you. No matter how many FMEA's we do, we can never ever ever account for every possible fark-up that you people can come up with.

/When we design an idiot-proof machine, the world design's a better class of idiot.
//The curse of the Mechanical Engineer.
 
2013-01-21 04:21:47 PM  
Just because I considered the effect on my commute if a terrorist used a chemical weapon in the local metro does not mean that I am cold. I was thinking about getting home to my kids a bit faster.
 
2013-01-21 04:22:24 PM  

Scruffinator: The engineers at my work hate me. I'm always finding new ways to break their machines, and even though the skilled trades department can fix them, it drives the engineers nuts that they don't know how I did it in the first place.

/nothing else to add


Like the maintenance guys always say: "Make it idiot-proof, and they will make a better idiot."
 
2013-01-21 04:23:02 PM  

FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: I think a lot of "fresher" admins get frustrated with people and it has a damaging effect on their personality. I know I used to get frustrated watching the 60-something office assistant scrolling a website by clicking the down arrow over and over. Now I just go to my happy place.

Yep. Try the old days, when computers weren't ubiquitous, and you had to train administrative assistants to move from the old Selectric III to a DisplayWriter (or, worse yet, a terminal.) It was a fun job.

Technology changes apace, but people remain people. The problems differ, but the issues are the same.


I know I shiat on old people before, but one of the most upsetting things for me at present is fresh graduates having next to no computer related skills save for how to use Facebook. They can't setup documents properly or even use excel or outlook...then look to me to fix their problems for them because I'm the "computer guy." Which is fun because while I may be the Admin, I have a degree (and a 2 year diploma) as well as the typical certs, none of that ever included a class on Office, or how to make a goddamn pivot table...I don't even know what a pivot table is, leave me alone. You can't figure out how to justify a page? Google it. Call me when it won't connect to the domain.
 
2013-01-21 04:23:46 PM  

SovietCanuckistan: There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.


How do you think we find so much time to post? I mean, it's not like we have to steer them.
 
2013-01-21 04:24:38 PM  

Stephen_Falken: LOL you guys are funny.

So, Formless One, what everyone else took from my " /I keed, I keed" which I put there in emulation of your post because I thought it was funny, was just, what do you say, a little meta-humour? Ah? haha? You're too sensitive. I posted what I posted because I thought it was funny as sh*t. Convoluted, engineer-type humour, you know. By the way, I started as an electrical engineer, was a software developer for another 15 years, and I'm now in management. I consider IT admins to be semi-sociopathic but at least rational. They're nothing next to QA and HR people - those are the true, dyed-in-the-hate Hitlerian sickos. Izhn't dat veird?

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 320x240]


My apologies - you came off a bit too sharp. If your intent was humor, I'll retract my snark.

As for QA & HR people, don't get me started on HR people. Even the IT staff can fake enough interest to interact with you. It amazes me, sometimes, how HR folks actually have "Human" in their job descriptions, yet seem to see you just as a collection of paperwork that gets more complicated every time you talk to one of them. The range of HR folks has, for me, run the gamut from "nice, helpful, genuinely concerned" to "disconnected, resentful, genuinely disinterested" at my employers. Right now, I'm lucky - I get reasonably nice HR folks.

Our QA folks also seem rather nice, but I've not run into any truly impersonal or hostile QA folks - at worst, I've encountered QA folks so fried as to be unable to coherently function, due to "two hands, one brain, no time" syndrome, but none that were impersonal or hostile.
 
2013-01-21 04:24:51 PM  

ProfessorOhki: SovietCanuckistan: There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.

How do you think we find so much time to post? I mean, it's not like we have to steer them.


Plus Charlie stole the handle.... so fark it.
 
2013-01-21 04:25:03 PM  

WhippingBoy: Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.


What about the people that drive trains arent' they engineers too?
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-21 04:25:54 PM  

SovietCanuckistan: There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.


Oh you have no idea. We are everywhere. Everywhere.

EE. Now in systems engineering. Sold my soul a while back while on Wall St. And had a beautiful woman buy it back for me.
"Terminally employed". Engineering is not something you just up and decide you want to try. It's something you have inside you.
A burning desire to invent, or fix, or you are driven to solve problems. When we engineers hear "that can't be done" it's almost like a direct challenge to us.
 
2013-01-21 04:26:55 PM  

steklo: WhippingBoy: Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.

What about the people that drive trains arent' they engineers too?


No, they're "Train-Steerers".
 
2013-01-21 04:27:01 PM  

Ethertap: I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer


For me, it was spending every Thursday night in the lab either working on my senior design project (A search & rescue robot) or my VLSI project...

Business majors were out drinking because they didn't have any classes on Friday. -_-
 
2013-01-21 04:27:06 PM  
"I solve problems. Not problems like 'what is beauty', because that would fall under the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems."
--Engineer, TF2
 
2013-01-21 04:28:16 PM  
I went from a creative career to a tech career, so I always argue myself out of my own opinion on topics like this.
 
2013-01-21 04:28:26 PM  

gja: Engineering is not something you just up and decide you want to try. It's something you have inside you.


That's a good way to put it. I know a lot of people who took engineering because "they were good at math". Only the ones that actually had it in their blood made it to the end.
 
2013-01-21 04:30:08 PM  

simplicimus: "The computing students, once gender effects had been eliminated, actually came out basically the same as medical and caring types: they had turned out to be normal, warm, caring human beings. It was in fact the physics-based classical engineers who were dead inside. "
heh.
/computer engineer
/dead inside, mostly


We must enact legislation to BAN these "gender effects" immediately!

/think of the children
 
2013-01-21 04:30:41 PM  

SultanofSchwing: FormlessOne: SultanofSchwing: I think a lot of "fresher" admins get frustrated with people and it has a damaging effect on their personality. I know I used to get frustrated watching the 60-something office assistant scrolling a website by clicking the down arrow over and over. Now I just go to my happy place.

Yep. Try the old days, when computers weren't ubiquitous, and you had to train administrative assistants to move from the old Selectric III to a DisplayWriter (or, worse yet, a terminal.) It was a fun job.

Technology changes apace, but people remain people. The problems differ, but the issues are the same.

I know I shiat on old people before, but one of the most upsetting things for me at present is fresh graduates having next to no computer related skills save for how to use Facebook. They can't setup documents properly or even use excel or outlook...then look to me to fix their problems for them because I'm the "computer guy." Which is fun because while I may be the Admin, I have a degree (and a 2 year diploma) as well as the typical certs, none of that ever included a class on Office, or how to make a goddamn pivot table...I don't even know what a pivot table is, leave me alone. You can't figure out how to justify a page? Google it. Call me when it won't connect to the domain.


Often one of my complaints - folks don't do their own homework first before calling for help. These days, I'm a tech writer - it's hard not to take it personally when someone doesn't RTFM first, as I know what went into designing, implementing, and delivering that content. It's human nature, though - you're seen as "helpful", and so they call you for help. I keep reminding myself that we're all ignorant, just on different subjects. Doesn't always work, of course.
 
2013-01-21 04:30:41 PM  

littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P


You'd think he could count to 3 without a calculator.
 
2013-01-21 04:31:15 PM  
I find this to be completely correct.
/Fark off!
 
2013-01-21 04:31:31 PM  

slapmastered: /When we design an idiot-proof machine, the world design's a better class of idiot.


Shouting into the wind: Like the maintenance guys always say: "Make it idiot-proof, and they will make a better idiot."


What can I say. I love my job.
 
2013-01-21 04:31:34 PM  

gja: SovietCanuckistan: There are a lot of engineers on Fark. I never realized there were so many trains out there to drive.

Oh you have no idea. We are everywhere. Everywhere.

EE. Now in systems engineering. Sold my soul a while back while on Wall St. And had a beautiful woman buy it back for me.
"Terminally employed". Engineering is not something you just up and decide you want to try. It's something you have inside you.
A burning desire to invent, or fix, or you are driven to solve problems. When we engineers hear "that can't be done" it's almost like a direct challenge to us.


Yup. I've been a dedicated Systems Engineer in the DoD sector for about 10 years now. The only thing that bugs me is how many people look for 'Systems Engineers' when they are really looking for an IT administrator or a software programmer.

/Doesn't program professionally.
//can debug, but I won't tell THEM that.
 
2013-01-21 04:31:40 PM  

gja: When we engineers hear "that can't be done" it's almost like a direct challenge to us.


What is this "almost like?" I actually DO take "that can't be done" as a direct challenge. Ask my wife how long I'll bang my head against a problem.

/Until it submits.
//I've met brick walls with less determination.
 
2013-01-21 04:31:51 PM  
Another joke:

An engineer, a priest and a surgeon are playing golf one day, but they keep getting held up by a slow group ahead of them. Frustrated, they ask their caddie what's the problem with the slow group. The caddie explains, "Those are firefighters who lost their eyesight while saving orphans from a fire!".

Feeling chagrinned about his impatience, the priest says, "Oh, that's terrible, I'll pray for them." Not to be out done, the surgeon chimes in "I'll donate some time and see if we can repair their eyes."

Then, the engineer asks:
"If they're blind, why can't they play at night?"
 
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