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(The Register)   "'Engineers are cold and dead inside,' research shows, 'Unable to care or love'" In other news, trolling for web-hits is easy   (theregister.co.uk) divider line 360
    More: Obvious, surveying, School of Engineering, computer engineering, trolls  
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11368 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2013 at 3:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-21 03:46:55 PM

Ethertap: I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer


Ever notice how most engineering stereotypes are true :)
 
2013-01-21 03:47:46 PM

Ethertap: I think what eroded my empathy more than anything was hearing business majors biatch that they couldn't get drunk on a Tuesday night because their "business calculus" class was to hard.

/chemical engineer


I thought me and my fellow chemical engineers were a very loving crowd.  The weekly field trips to distilleries and breweries senior year helped, I'm sure, but cold and dead inside? no way.
 
2013-01-21 03:47:55 PM
,fat inside.
 
2013-01-21 03:48:41 PM
Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.

More seriously a lot of engineers end up being managers after graduation. If there is any job that will make you hate people that's it.
 
2013-01-21 03:49:05 PM

FloydA: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Finance major - Braindead inside

Advanced Degrees - what they really mean
MA: Malicious Asshole
Ph.D: Piled High and Deep
MD: Mentally Defective
MBA: Minimal Brain Activity.


applies to me, at least...

/although perhaps more spite than malice...
 
2013-01-21 03:49:12 PM

ProfessorOhki: That's not entirely true; some engineers remain quite capable of anger.


That's because we have to work with those marketing people:
i1151.photobucket.com
YES - WE RERAN THE SOFTWARE MODEL WITH THE INCREASED ENVIRONMENTAL CRITERIA!!
WE EVEN FACTORED IN A LAYER OF PIGEON SH*T ON THE STRUCTURE!!!
 
2013-01-21 03:49:43 PM

catusr: mechanical engineer


Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer,



You know the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?


Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets!
/ tip your waitress
 
2013-01-21 03:50:06 PM

oldfarthenry: ProfessorOhki: That's not entirely true; some engineers remain quite capable of anger.

That's because we have to work with those marketing people:
[i1151.photobucket.com image 380x293]
YES - WE RERAN THE SOFTWARE MODEL WITH THE INCREASED ENVIRONMENTAL CRITERIA!!
WE EVEN FACTORED IN A LAYER OF PIGEON SH*T ON THE STRUCTURE!!!


Is that Pidgeon shiat load bearing?
 
2013-01-21 03:50:28 PM
Mechanical engineer here - Two loving children and coming up on 17 wonderful years of marriage. We (wife and I) also have an active social life (blessed with good friends).

Even my other engineering friends are pretty sociable people. Meh - maybe the researcher sampled a bad batch?
 
2013-01-21 03:50:32 PM
What a wonderful thread - it allows me to tag all of the other engineers.


/like animals
 
2013-01-21 03:51:08 PM

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Finance major - Braindead inside


You're probably talking about undergrad finance majors and I don't really know what their curriculum is like but I can tell you from personal experience that graduate level finance isn't doable if you're braindead. Econometrics and game theory are not for the dull of mind.
 
2013-01-21 03:51:25 PM

Egoy3k: Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
.


The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.
 
2013-01-21 03:51:52 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.


I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.
 
rka
2013-01-21 03:52:44 PM

Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.


IT admins and Janitors. Both in charge of keeping the shiat flowing through the pipes.

I like that these cloud type companies are finding out they can fire all the sysadmins and keep moving just fine. Keep the sysadmin down at the big colo datacenters, locked up with each other in cages. Seems about right.

/i'm not really kidding.
 
2013-01-21 03:53:30 PM

SultanofSchwing: Champion of the Sun: I'm a sanitation engineer and I love you all.

Throwing out a bag full of broken glass, cuz fark you happy happerton.


"Broken glass," hell. Partially wrapping a week-dead wildebeest and putting it in a kitchen bag next to my neighbor's trash.
 
2013-01-21 03:53:49 PM

oldfarthenry:

That's because we have to work with those marketing people:


www.carolroth.com
We need to co-leverage our brand loyalties and deploy our solutions to the demographic segment. Let's take this offline later if you have the bandwidth.
 
2013-01-21 03:54:08 PM

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.


Could be. Every time I've had a British doctor at the ER or emergency clinic, they're all friendly, laid back, and talk to patients as though the patient is a fellow human and not some peasant who is too stupid to possibly understand the details of their condition. The one guy would even phone people up at home with their lab/scan results as soon as they came in.
 
2013-01-21 03:55:32 PM
Tfa is probably very true but it coulda been written better. Language like "cold, dead inside" could describe an unskillful sociopath just as well as it could describe someone with a few schizoid tendencies, and the latter are quite harmless and actually kind of happy in our own weird little way.

/Engineer
//a little schizoid
 
2013-01-21 03:55:40 PM

Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.


A bright guy would've figured out that I'm a developer and tech writer, what with the compliments to both of those categories. But, then again, a bright guy wouldn't have taken personally what just about everyone else in the thread took as a gentle bit of humor.

I take it you're an IT admin, right?
 
2013-01-21 03:56:26 PM

FunkOut: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

Could be. Every time I've had a British doctor at the ER or emergency clinic, they're all friendly, laid back, and talk to patients as though the patient is a fellow human and not some peasant who is too stupid to possibly understand the details of their condition. The one guy would even phone people up at home with their lab/scan results as soon as they came in.


Weird. I've had a number of Canadian doctors (I'm Canadian). They've all been weird, anti-social freaks. Our latest doctor is from the UK, and he's the nicest, friendliest, most caring person I've ever met. Maybe it's just British doctors that are actual human beings...
 
2013-01-21 03:56:42 PM
Well this explains Fark.
 
2013-01-21 03:57:00 PM
It pisses me off that as a mechanical engineer, I normally have to find work in cities... with lots of other people around.

/Get off my lawn.
 
2013-01-21 03:57:02 PM
i260.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-21 03:57:17 PM
We're people too damnit.

Emotionally stunted and socially awkward, but still human(technically some of us might be cyborgs by now).
 
2013-01-21 03:57:27 PM

FormlessOne: Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.

A bright guy would've figured out that I'm a developer and tech writer, what with the compliments to both of those categories. But, then again, a bright guy wouldn't have taken personally what just about everyone else in the thread took as a gentle bit of humor.

I take it you're an IT admin, right?


He's not the standard! I'm an IT Admin, but I started out in Electrical Engineering...
 
2013-01-21 03:59:01 PM

SpectroBoy: Egoy3k: Mechanical engineer here. It's not that we hate everyone, we only hate stupid people. The problem comes in when everyone is stupid.
.

The problem is that an IQ of 100 or lower is FREAKIN STUPID and that covers ~ 1/2 the population.


A little confusion about means and averages maybe?
 
2013-01-21 03:59:21 PM
Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.
 
2013-01-21 03:59:39 PM
Perfect! Bar political office to all those except physics based engineering types with a career 10 years long or older.

I've had enough of the "it's for the children"/"it's a good first step, even if it's useless"/"fairness!" brand of governance.

At least with cold-hearted engineers in charge, we could look forward to government reports like, "The measure passed in 2003 has achieved no higher than 25% effectiveness according to the measurement protocol. According to the Historical Standard Regression Forecasting Algorithm, we can predict, based on past governmental performance, an end effectiveness of 21.5%. Therefore, using the Congressional 10-year re-authorization rules, the measure will have to pass a ( 100% - Effectiveness /2 ) or 89% vote to make it permanent. It is predicted that the measure will not pass this hurdle, and expire on schedule. Another measure passed in 2006 has been very successful, at 120% effectiveness this year alone, and will almost certainly become permanent in three years."
 
2013-01-21 04:00:15 PM
by surveying 200 students from six different study programs

Yeah, anyone can tell you that undergraduates don't have real human emotions. I'm more surprised the researcher was gullible enough to be fooled by the arts majors and so on, apparently sociopathy is stronger in this generation.
 
2013-01-21 04:00:29 PM
(runs into the room)

DID I MISS ANYTHING?

\Broadcast Engineer
\\transmitters to toilets and everything inbetween
 
2013-01-21 04:00:57 PM

cgraves67: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.


Ever met a plastic surgeon?

Easily the most farked up people walking the face of the Earth. BY FAR.
 
2013-01-21 04:01:02 PM
They just need somebody to love them.

Well and have sex with them.
 
2013-01-21 04:02:26 PM

WhippingBoy: Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.


\EE degree, ya happy now?
 
2013-01-21 04:02:40 PM
What happens when they test the guys cooking the Wall Street books?
 
2013-01-21 04:02:42 PM
Fiancee and I are both engineers. At least we're dead inside together.
 
2013-01-21 04:03:24 PM
I thought it was just me. Glad it's not just me. Go die.
 
2013-01-21 04:03:58 PM

SultanofSchwing: FormlessOne: Stephen_Falken: Formless One
You sound like the kind of user that can't figure out how to move the old windows taskbar back to the bottom of the desktop after you accidentally drag it to the right side of the screen. It's not the IT admins that are the problem - it's you and all Lusers like you, who waste the time of highly-trained professionals because you can't f*cking be bothered to Read The Fine Manual. I also noticed that during your ill-considered screed you never did state where your esteemed position was in the office hierarchy. Either very near the top or bottom I'd say; otherwise you'd not be so out of touch with basically everyone at your job. If you have one, that is.

/I keed, I keed.

A bright guy would've figured out that I'm a developer and tech writer, what with the compliments to both of those categories. But, then again, a bright guy wouldn't have taken personally what just about everyone else in the thread took as a gentle bit of humor.

I take it you're an IT admin, right?

He's not the standard! I'm an IT Admin, but I started out in Electrical Engineering...


No worries, I figured he's not the standard, as I work with all of those folks on a regular basis and, as a bright guy, realize that "single data point != mean." But, he does seem a bit... touchy.

I'm with you, more or less. I spent the first couple of years as a hardware admin (back in the day of DisplayWriters and running coax every-friggin'-where), the next decade or so as a developer, and the last decade or so as a programmer/writer. I've also done everything from handing out DoD components for clean-room assembly, to muck out bathrooms as a third-shift porter, to ride a keyboard in a typing pool for PriceWaterhouse (before they became PriceWaterhouseCoopersSomethingOrOther.) I've worked in warehouses, in boardrooms, and on farms. These days, I work mostly at home, thanks to a great employer and a dev team that (more or less) knows how to design & implement code.
 
2013-01-21 04:04:08 PM

CheapEngineer: WhippingBoy: Do they mean real engineers? (e.g. those with bona-fide engineering degrees?) Or those useless douche-nozzles who use the term "engineer" loosely because it makes them seem more accomplished than they actually are? I farking hate those tourist bastards.

\EE degree, ya happy now?


Yeah, we're cool.
 
2013-01-21 04:04:28 PM

littlett's: They just need somebody to love them.

Well and have sex with them.


Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.
 
2013-01-21 04:04:30 PM

SpectroBoy: catusr: mechanical engineer

Mayhem_2006: As a former Civil Engineer,


You know the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?


Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets!
/ tip your waitress


That is one of the first engineering jokes I ever heard. Wanna hear my favorite? ...too bad.

An engineer was talking to his buddy one day about a strange event that had happened to him.

"Man, it was bizarre. This amazingly beautiful woman rode up to me on a bicycle, threw it on the ground, tore off all her clothes and told me, 'Take what you want.' "

"So that's where you got that snazzy new bike from. Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit anyway."

Another great one:

Three engineering students were debating the existence and nature of the Almighty.

The first student, an electrical engineering major, argued that God must be an electrical engineer. "Just look at the human nervous system. The circuitry and neural pathways are astounding in their complexity and detail."

The second student, a mechanical engineering major, insisted that God was, in fact, a mechanical engineer. "Look at the human musculoskeletal system. Joints, loadbearing members, muscles pushing and pulling in perfect synchronization. It's poetry in motion."

The third student simply shook his head at the other two. "God is a Civil Engineer. Period."

"How do you know?" the pair asked.

"Who else would route a waste disposal pipeline through a recreational area?"

/Tip your veal, try the waitress.
//Mechanical Engineer, happily married.
///Still sometimes question my own sanity...I do think that engineers have a lower-than-average empathy score...we are just not people-person's by nature.
//Don't think that makes me "dead inside..."
/Unnecessary slashie to complete the pattern!
 
2013-01-21 04:05:07 PM
I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to.
 
2013-01-21 04:05:24 PM
Pfft, whatever. It's not like psychology is a real science anyway.
 
2013-01-21 04:05:28 PM

contrapunctus: cgraves67: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.

Ever met a plastic surgeon?

Easily the most farked up people walking the face of the Earth. BY FAR.


I would assume peeling apart and rearranging people's faces and tits and asses all day would either mess you up or you were messed up in the first place to want to do it. Usually some creepy guy in an expensive office surrounded by female robot assistants with scary huge smiles.
 
2013-01-21 04:06:07 PM

oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.


She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P
 
2013-01-21 04:06:53 PM

cgraves67: SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Med students "bursting with love"??? My ass. Doctors are some of the most socially whacked, cold hearted dbags on the planet. Unless that's just here in the US.

I remember reading somewhere that medical doctors had the highest rate of sado-masochistic sexual proclivities of any profession, and significantly higher than the general population. Even more than dentists.


The kinky hookers with all the toys are crazy expensive.
 
2013-01-21 04:07:04 PM
Engineers = cold and dead inside
Trick cyclists = 1000 BTU/lb, 85% moisture, 5% ash.
Clearly we need to add more trick cyclists to the fires.
 
2013-01-21 04:07:18 PM

littlett's: oldfarthenry: Mrs. Henry HATES it when I put my calculator on her back to determine the thrusts required to get the job done.

She expects you to be able to do the math in your head.  She is just upset that she married one of the slow engineers. :P


Had to chuckle at that. Besides, you really need a cube to get that job done, as there are multiple factors involved and the only way to really drill down to that figure would be through a multidimensional query.
 
2013-01-21 04:07:22 PM

contrapunctus: Ever met a plastic surgeon?

Easily the most farked up people walking the face of the Earth. BY FAR.


Plastic.. or cosmetic? Plastic surgery is generally reconstructive.
 
2013-01-21 04:07:52 PM
This is complete bullshiat. The ex-engineer I know is full of love and care (but only for himself). The bald demon also has emotions: He makes everyone feel bad because that makes him feel good.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-01-21 04:07:52 PM
"You ever see an engineer's eyes? They have lifeless eyes,like a doll's eyes. Until they delete all your work, and the eyes roll over. Then there's the horrible scream,and the systems all crash. And despite all the pounding and hollering, all the engineers come in, and laugh at your pain."

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
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