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(Daily Mail)   John Cleese has to sell off props and photos to fund multi-million-pound divorce in "Monty Python and the Holy Sale"   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 104
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6713 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 21 Jan 2013 at 6:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-01-21 09:33:56 AM  

eyeq360: We now know what happened to the other half of Eric, Half a Bee. John has the time to explore the wilds of British Columbia, be a lumberjack, and wear women's clothing like his dear papa. Or have someone sit on his face. Or go to Australia, change his name to Bruce and make fun of the Aborigines.
If someone did sit on his face or if he wore women's clothing, that might explain why he keeps getting into marital problems.


Uh... you might wanna work on your act a bit... not *quite* ready for prime-time.
 
2013-01-21 09:37:36 AM  
Maybe he can borrow the money from the rest of the Pythons. Scott "Buddy" Thompson hasn't done anything since Spamalot.
 
2013-01-21 09:49:31 AM  

fusillade762: Cleese, who last year married his fourth wife, Jennifer Wade

Dude, here's a tip: STOP GETTING MARRIED.TO ANOREXIC MALE ANN COULTER IMPERSONATORS


Fixed, which I'm sure applies in the animal husbandry sense, as well.
 
2013-01-21 09:51:03 AM  

Skarekrough: First, stop getting married.


Why pay to maintain hardware with built in planned obsolescence, when you can download an ap for free, and delete it when you don't wan tit anymore? .
 
2013-01-21 09:55:40 AM  
men never learn. that 31 year old will clean his clock; finish him off. he won't be able to afford a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.


men never learn.
 
2013-01-21 09:56:49 AM  

L.D. Ablo: Yet another example of why you should never get married.

Why do men keep falling for that trap?



they get old and desparate and convince themselves that the young biatch really loves them.
 
2013-01-21 09:58:19 AM  

Devolving_Spud: Skip marriage. Just find a woman who hates your farking guts...and buy her a house.



lol and become that biatch's slave, but only in bed and only on weekends. have your own place to live in peace.
 
2013-01-21 09:59:32 AM  
there is a silver lining........he'll die broke. can't take it with you.
 
2013-01-21 10:00:50 AM  
Life

Is

Unfair.


but he did make dumb decisions, so he can only blame himself.
 
2013-01-21 10:03:25 AM  
HALF!
i177.photobucket.com
 
2013-01-21 10:13:55 AM  

vudukungfu: Skarekrough: First, stop getting married.

Why pay to maintain hardware with built in planned obsolescence, when you can download an ap for free, and delete it when you don't wan tit anymore? .


*SNORT*
 
2013-01-21 10:56:04 AM  
Dibs on the Tim the Enchanter hat.

/A GRRRRRRAIL?
 
2013-01-21 11:21:24 AM  
Thank you Mr Cleese for the valuable lesson! If misfortune takes you down that road and you end up with more than one Ex you should concede and abstain from trying marriage at all costs! As stated earlier rentals can be cheaper.
 
2013-01-21 12:11:44 PM  

browneye: John Cleese is a very funny and articulate man.

But when it comes to women he is as dumb as a bag of lint.


Well to be fair, he did marry Connie Booth first. I'd go limbless as the Black Knight to get that lucky.
 
2013-01-21 12:23:14 PM  
Everytime I start to get serious with a woman. I go back to a folder I have that has paperwork in it from my ex fiances loan. That will usually put things into more clarity for me.
 
2013-01-21 12:29:34 PM  
ONE look at that woman, and I could have predicted this.

WTF is WRONG with you, Mr. Cleese?
 
2013-01-21 12:31:44 PM  
fusillade762: Cleese, who last year married his fourth wife, Jennifer Wade

Dude, here's a tip: STOP GETTING MARRIED.

This


I come from two parents who, between them, have been married SIX TIMES. I flat out told my father, after he married the current one, to STOP IT if this one shiats the bed. He's obviously not very good at it. Why guys do it more than once baffles me.

/married
//luckily married by best friend
///HS sweetheart
////still going after 25 years
 
2013-01-21 12:41:18 PM  
I know I'm just being dumb, but how can she live with herself? You married a guy a year ago and then divorced him and are taking him for so much money he has to resort to his equivalent of "flipping burgers" just to pay you off.

How about $1M for every year of marriage? That'd hold you pretty well until you find the next SD, no?

Enjoy those houses / trips / furs / etc ... you sure 'earned' them.
 
2013-01-21 12:49:24 PM  
protips:

1) don't marry gold diggin' f'n whores
2) see step 1
 
2013-01-21 01:03:28 PM  
still not sure how the pythons weren't involved in this. trotify
 
2013-01-21 01:08:52 PM  

fusillade762: Cleese, who last year married his fourth wife, Jennifer Wade

Dude, here's a tip: STOP GETTING MARRIED.


Jesus, came to say this. I don't get why people this rich and this old keep getting married. In fact, I think marriage is kind of dumb at any age, but I can understand wanting to do it for tax reasons or if you're having kids. Even then...
 
2013-01-21 01:09:41 PM  

LonMead: I think that's more a case of "Mr. Cleese cannot be seen..."


This, but

Son of Thunder: What manner of man are you, that can summon up fire without flint or tinder?


this is also a good answer.
 
2013-01-21 01:16:42 PM  

Bob The Nob: I know I'm just being dumb, but how can she live with herself? You married a guy a year ago and then divorced him and are taking him for so much money he has to resort to his equivalent of "flipping burgers" just to pay you off.

How about $1M for every year of marriage? That'd hold you pretty well until you find the next SD, no?

Enjoy those houses / trips / furs / etc ... you sure 'earned' them.


They were married for 16 years. You might want to RTFA.
 
2013-01-21 01:28:24 PM  

Haliburton Cummings: protips:

1) don't marry gold diggin' f'n whores
2) see step 1


3. Remember that the division of assets is going to be based on when the divorce was filed or before you knew it was coming, and don't go "spending it so she can't have it" on the assumption that this will reduce the amount she gets in a no-fault at the end of the proceedings. It'll be 50% (or whatever) of what you had _on filing_, even if by the time the judge confirms you've spent 75% of it.
 
2013-01-21 01:50:13 PM  
It would have been a whole lot cheaper to have the biatch killed.
 
2013-01-21 01:57:52 PM  

Fark Rye For Many Whores: Cleese has also moved from the US to Monaco to avoid paying a huge tax bill on his divorce payments to Miss Eichelberger.

Wait why is he paying taxes on alimony?

[cdn.static.ovimg.com image 400x300]

He has already said he would not return to the UK because of harsh tax laws.

Wait won't go back or won't move back? He's running out of countries.

[www.boxcarmarketing.com image 595x350]


He's not paying taxes on the support payments, he has to pay the support payments after tax has been deducted from his earnings. Or to put it another way support payments are not tax deductible.
 
2013-01-21 02:01:12 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Haliburton Cummings: protips:

1) don't marry gold diggin' f'n whores
2) see step 1

3. Remember that the division of assets is going to be based on when the divorce was filed or before you knew it was coming, and don't go "spending it so she can't have it" on the assumption that this will reduce the amount she gets in a no-fault at the end of the proceedings. It'll be 50% (or whatever) of what you had _on filing_, even if by the time the judge confirms you've spent 75% of it.


like nested stocks when your company goes tatas up LOL
 
2013-01-21 02:05:20 PM  

digistil: PandaPorn: If she only gets half, how the hell do you loose more than you have?

You have a temper-tantrum and blow through a huge sum of money so that "She can't have it." Of course she still does.

/The man is as stupid in life as he is funny.


He did that? There goes a lot of my sympathy for him.
 
2013-01-21 02:05:31 PM  
That's expensive for a set of tits on a stick.
 
2013-01-21 02:08:43 PM  

coco ebert: Jesus, came to say this. I don't get why people this rich and this old keep getting married. In fact, I think marriage is kind of dumb at any age, but I can understand wanting to do it for tax reasons or if you're having kids. Even then...


Kelsey Grammer (sp?). Paul McCartney. I think they both just picked up wife #4 too.
 
2013-01-21 02:09:35 PM  
he should just stop marrying American blonds
 
2013-01-21 02:19:06 PM  

cryinoutloud: coco ebert: Jesus, came to say this. I don't get why people this rich and this old keep getting married. In fact, I think marriage is kind of dumb at any age, but I can understand wanting to do it for tax reasons or if you're having kids. Even then...

Kelsey Grammer (sp?). Paul McCartney. I think they both just picked up wife #4 too.


I bet they don't have pre-nups either. *smdh*
 
2013-01-21 02:34:31 PM  

toddalmighty: fusillade762: Cleese, who last year married his fourth wife, Jennifer Wade

Dude, here's a tip: STOP GETTING MARRIED.

This


Yup.

The only thing his four marriages have in common is that he was part of each one.
THREE divorces?
Time to take a long, hard look in the mirror, Mr. Cleese.
 
2013-01-21 02:45:02 PM  
Hard cheese.
 
2013-01-21 03:08:49 PM  
THIS...IS AN EX-WIFE!
 
2013-01-21 03:09:35 PM  
As an older woman, I get very annoyed when men divorce their same-age wives and take up with women young enough to be their children. Then I realize that those men are getting exactly what they deserve.

Karma's a biatch, but schadenfreude is a joy forever.
 
2013-01-21 03:15:18 PM  
The lesson here is that marriage, when it fails, is typically an unfair prospect for men. Be self-sufficient, ensure relationships on your own terms, and avoid marriage unless it's an equitable business, as well as personal, relationship.
 
2013-01-21 03:21:05 PM  

FormlessOne: The lesson here is that marriage, when it fails, is typically an unfair prospect for men. Be self-sufficient, ensure relationships on your own terms, and avoid marriage unless it's an equitable business, as well as personal, relationship.


It was pretty goddamned unfair to me, and I'm a woman. But don't let that get in the way of your stereotypes.
 
2013-01-21 03:25:53 PM  

Contents Under Pressure: As an older woman, I get very annoyed when men divorce their same-age wives and take up with women young enough to be their children. Then I realize that those men are getting exactly what they deserve.

Karma's a biatch, but schadenfreude is a joy forever.


Wow, you sound bitter.
 
2013-01-21 03:50:31 PM  
I love how many people don't RTFA

If you employed those big ol brains of yours, the lady in the picture is his current wife. Who is a)not American and more critically b) not his ex wife
 
2013-01-21 04:10:10 PM  

moel: I love how many people don't RTFA

If you employed those big ol brains of yours, the lady in the picture is his current wife. Who is a)not American and more critically b) not his ex wife


The summary lines at the top don't help with the confusion. Also, what kind of divorce takes ~4 years to go through?!
 
2013-01-21 04:46:40 PM  

ShawnDoc: Lsherm: His problem is that he married that woman in California.

Never get married in California. Ever.

California is pretty good about enforcing prenups. Why he didn't have one drawn up for his last marriage, I have no idea. You'd think he knew better by this point.


I don't think he got married in Cali. I think he got married in London. The problem is that his wife was American and they had a home in LA, so she was able to file for divorce there.

Up until very recently, English courts didn't recognize prenups, but given that he was marrying an American, he should have had one anyway.
 
2013-01-21 04:54:10 PM  
He's still biatching about this? I heard him complaining about this several years ago. I have little sympathy for him. People who have married multiple times only have themselves to blame. You obviously make bad decisions for yourself and must live with the consequences.
 
2013-01-21 05:16:03 PM  

cryinoutloud: FormlessOne: The lesson here is that marriage, when it fails, is typically an unfair prospect for men. Be self-sufficient, ensure relationships on your own terms, and avoid marriage unless it's an equitable business, as well as personal, relationship.

It was pretty goddamned unfair to me, and I'm a woman. But don't let that get in the way of your stereotypes.


Been married for over 12 years. Not a stereotype - actually, fairly solid advice. My relationship with my wife is equitable, at both a business and personal level. If your experience was unfair, the advice still applies - avoid marriage unless it's an equitable business, as well as personal, relationship.
 
2013-01-21 05:19:58 PM  

MrEricSir: moel: I love how many people don't RTFA

If you employed those big ol brains of yours, the lady in the picture is his current wife. Who is a)not American and more critically b) not his ex wife

The summary lines at the top don't help with the confusion. Also, what kind of divorce takes ~4 years to go through?!


The messy kind. A clean, simple divorce takes willing, friendly, and fair participants. My wife's prior husband, for example (who comes over with his current wife on a regular basis) was understanding about the whole thing. Their divorce was a matter of weeks, and could've been shorter than that except that the judge thought something must be up precisely because both of them had been willing & amiable about the whole process.
 
2013-01-21 05:35:59 PM  
I don't know anything about his ex-wife and their relationship and I don't know anything about the terms of their divorce but I'm still certain that she's a gold diggin biatch and he's a moron.
 
2013-01-21 05:45:23 PM  
that's moran
 
2013-01-21 06:55:09 PM  
<b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7546582/82023787#c82023787" target="_blank">L.D. Ablo</a>:</b> <i>Yet another example of why you should never get married.

<b>Why do men keep falling for that trap</b>?</i>

Women and their devil vaginas lure us in.

/ I've been divorced twice
// should have known better
/// dang that stuff was pretty damn good
//// for a while
 
2013-01-21 08:47:21 PM  
Look... this is a job for bicycle repair man.

She is an ex-wife, she has ceased to be.
 
2013-01-21 11:10:59 PM  
When you've as much money as John Cleese, women are cheaper by the hour.

/just sayin'
 
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