I only have one question..how do you make a cement mixer?

I have to lift up my top for them to remember who I am

Oh yeah, I recognize that bellybutton!

"To make matters worse, she looked spookily like my little sister, Emily."

Ah man...I was just going to make a joke like that. But now I can't.

WTF is 'footy'?

football, rugby or aus rules, depending on region of australia.

I've been to strip joints but found them too much like barracking for the Tiges

etc, etc, etc...

i knew a guy who rambled on like this once, he said he wanted to be a writer. i thought to myself that there wasn't any group of people on the whole planet who would be willing to reproduce his thoughts on absolutely anything for public consideration.

/why did this happen...god, why did this happen

Talking about Richmond, it has to be Aussie Rules Football, aka Footy.

iamrobot There is a job where people are allowed to ramble in this way - it's called 'sports correspondent'

Peaceboy: Barracking=cheering. Supporting. (Although, don't come to Oz and say you "root" for something, because that has a different meaning altogether.)

Tiges should probably be Tigers, as in the Richmond Tigers Football Club.

Buck's night = bachelor party, out on the piss (getting drunk) out at pubs. Standard stuff, usually.

This takes bad writing and abuse of metaphors to a new level. Worst. Written. Article. Evar.

From the back she looks just like my wi... HEY!

Oh wait... Australia.

Never mind!

Peaceboy
Why, what's "rooting"? Fap-fap-fap-fap?

"she looked spookily like my little sister, Emily."
"her hair was lovely and straight, like Tommy Alvin's"

teh ghey

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

2003-12-12 09:47:05 PM gromitcu
Peaceboy: Barracking=cheering. Supporting. (Although, don't come to Oz and say you "root" for something, because that has a different meaning altogether.)

Ahh, yes, that would be a little, um, odd. Kinda like when I asked someone in America if I could bum a fag off them.

Root (verb and noun) : synonym for f*ck in nearly all its senses: "I feel rooted"; "this washing machine is rooted"; "(s)he's a good root". A very useful word in fairly polite company.

From one online Aussie slang dictionary

"root, root, root for the home team," indeed.

WTH? Why didn't this guy offer to make her dinner, or take her out someplace? She's probably so horned up she would give you road head!

Okay, so if "root" is vulgar in Oz, then what do they call those things on the bottom of a plant?

Uhm, this guy seems to have some serious, disturbing issues with his sister.

"I could, but I don't want to. I don't know how the girls strip to Good Old Collingwood, Forever. It's a terrible stripping song."

Didn't they do that in The Club? I saw that movie on cable years ago (it starred Jack Thompson from Breaker Morant) and I remember it had the funniest put-down for a bar floozy: an Avis Rent-A-Car sheila...

"I'm your sister! I'm your sister!"

Zylon:

It's probably like what we call stupid people. Boobs.

At least he had the balls to admit that she looked like his sister. Most guys would never mention anything like that at all. You know that if you were in his place the same thoughts would have gone through your mind. You'd be like "Oh my god she looks like my sister, don't get wood don't get wood, don't get wood, ahhh noooo, whats wrong with you, you sick fark you're a sick, sick, pervert" Adding that little angle to this article made what would have a been a fairly boring piece at least mildy interesting.

"On hot days it is. I served at the bottle shop a couple of weeks ago and this tradesman came in with no top on. I said, 'You and me are wearing the same shirt!' But he didn't get it."

maybe because it wasnt funny. Just because you have your top off doesnt mean men will laugh at everything you say.

bukkake, buggery, blow, bud....

Wow, I want to go to Austrailia, where talent is not a prerequisite to professional writing.

tmricha:

Get half a shot of Bailey's Creme and half a shot of Rosa's Lime Juice.

I got nothing.

She seems feisty, I like her.

boring, blight, bigotry, biatch, bubonic-plague

...bumbling doofus, breast issues, boobie experience deficit, bad writing, brother/sister sex boundary problems...

bong, bud, barometric pressure

I'll have a shot of scotch neat, please. And where's my blooming onion?

Okay, so if "root" is vulgar in Oz, then what do they call those things on the bottom of a plant?

Obviously they call them farkS. Duh!

Sorry. I meant F*U*C*K*S.

Beautiful big-boobed bisexual babes?

Is that what they call a skimpy?

Cement Mixer

Ingredients:
1 jigger Bailey's irish cream
1 jigger Lime juice

Mixing instructions:
Take shot of Bailey's. With Bailey's in your mouth take shot of lime juice. Mix rapidly in mouth by shaking head vigorously. Swallow before it congeals totally.

Monkey Cat

I have to agree with you, the writer has clearly caught a case of teh ghey.

Who doesn't want a topless barmaid to turn around and flash for the camera?!?